Wednesday 28th November, 2012          2130

Well weather-wise it was most unusual and nothing like the forecast. Chilly this morning, pleasantly warm at noon but an hour later sodding freezing. By early evening we had light rain so I hope tomorrow is better as I want to ride to town.

Ollivier reminded me this morning that it is his birthday on Saturday and that he is paying for a prawn hotpot for me, Kevin and our guests so as it has been a while since I have been for one I am anticipating it with much joy. Christmas day has also been settled, we will go as a sixsome for a steak meal and I am happy to say Kiki has said she will come as my partner both to the birthday party and that.

I did have a humorous episode after today’s classes. One of this afternoon’s students - Autumn - told a little story a fortnight ago in class. I encourage my lot at the start of each class to relate an interesting tale and hers was how she had overspent her monthly allowance from her parents and at that time only had 30y with which to eat for a fortnight. Obviously nobody anywhere can feed themselves on 20p a day so during the break I had taken her aside and offered to lend her money until December’s allowance arrived. She was horrified that she thought that I thought that was why she told the story (which I didn’t) and refused my help, saying her room mates would see her right.

Anyway, after classes and sitting having a beer, I pondered on what I would eat for dinner tonight. I really didn’t fancy campus food and would have liked some sweet pork, so thought it would be nice to invite Autumn. She is no raving beauty (although attractive anyway and seems like a really nice lass) but I sent her a text asking if she would join me for dinner. I was dumbfounded to receive a reply along the following lines:

What a good idea if you were my friend, but you are not and your method of pursuing a girl is very poor. Bad luck on you.!

Initially I thought “what on earth??” but then realised the truth of the matter and sent another message saying I wasn’t pursuing her, it was simply that I knew she didn’t have any money, I wanted to eat out but not alone and craved some company. And by the way did she know who I was?

It was as I thought because the next thing I got was “Oh are you Steve? Please beg my pardon!” She thought I was a male student she didn’t know. Sadly she had dance practise until nine-thirty so couldn’t come, but I did have to chuckle. I will invite her another day. As for me, I have ended up with a takeaway of boiled rice, aubergines & mince plus some pork pieces which I will reheat after I have done the pet food. Thrilling.

And guess what? I found out tonight that the student union want me to star in the Christmas concert on the 18th - as Santa Claus! I guess they asked me because they don’t have to provide any padding for the belly! Two of the most important things I have to do are to give a (provided) gift to the Chancellor or Vice Chancellor (whichever attends) and a bunch of flowers to Professor Fang. This will be the second time I have been Santa, the first was at a children’s party in 1988. I wonder if this time anyone will know it’s me……….

Monday 26th November, 2012      1830

Thought I would make a start before heading off out in search of food. I have just been researching flights for next summer (if I ever make it!) and it appears that without a credit  or Visa debit card with enough money I have a problem. The UnionPay Chinese card I have is fine for paying for things online in mainland China but all the good websites for flights only take Visa, Mastercard or occasionally PayPal. Booking directly with a Chinese airline is possible for me but at vastly inflated prices which are nearly double the reimbursement I would get from the university. Annoying would be an understatement.

Today was to yesterday what chalk is to cheese - just into double figures and lovely and sunny, although now of course it is a bit parky. I was idly checking the school calendar earlier trying to work out when I should start exams. We normally commence or oral ones a fortnight before the other written ones so we are finished in good time, however as they start their other ones on the 7th January (meaning we should start on Christmas eve) this year Xmas and New Years days fall on Tuesday when we will be off. With three classes on a Tuesday it presents a problem in that to get them out of the way in good time I need to make a start in just a fortnight. I don’t think Kevin has noticed that so will discuss it with him when I see him next.  

Tuesday 27th             2230

A heavy day and one on which I was informed after asking for clarification that despite my being told before coming here that Christmas day is a holiday for the foreign teachers, we can indeed have it off but we need to make up the lessons another day, meaning it isn’t a damned holiday at all. It doesn’t really bother me and indeed I will probably end up working it after all, but I will dig out the info I was sent and make a point of showing it to the upper echelon simply to show that we are neither pushovers nor stupid. I have worked many Christmas and new year days in my time and in fairness with the amount of holidays I get here it is insignificant - I am hardly going to church that day!

Six lessons today, all of which were pleasant and although it was chilly at 12C it was nice and sunny. Then it was off for a really nice few hours with Joanna. Too cold for the bike for her I thought, so the plan was to bus it in and take a cab back. No bus in sight when we left but by chance a taxi pulled up and I said we should grab it - at 30y one way it’s expensive but convenient.

This time I took my camera and we had a no-expense spared meal consisting of rice cakes, slices of beef and pork, sweet pork with apple chunks, scallops, sushi, chicken wings and prawns. A veritable feast and one which, despite the best efforts of my companion we could not demolish, meaning she took some sushi home and I took pork and beef for the animals. But a really nice meal and a lovely occasion considering it is so long since we went out together. Damned expensive too at 210y (£21) but I left feeling I had eaten too much, something I don’t experience often here.

When we came out I suggested we wait for the first bus that came and saw if it was crowded or not. It was, so I said to hell with it, another taxi it would be, and having encountered another of my ex students at the bus stop I told her to come with us. Her comment that I was so rich was met with the response that I wasn’t but I wasn’t standing for half an hour on a bus either.

So now I am winding down for the night feeling full and happy (if somewhat poorer) and looking forward to just four lessons tomorrow followed by a Thursday off. Enjoy the photos.

Sunday 25th November, 2012           2230

When you want them to get it right they don’t, when you want them to get it wrong they don’t. Weather forecasters I mean. they were completely accurate today, meaning the ride into town was in rain and the ride back was in heavy rain.

For both of my lessons this morning the Chinese teacher sat in on the class. This is a recent thing and I am now wondering if it is because the owner has picked upon the fact I have not been enjoying it due to the control problem. Said problem to my mind occurs because it is a private school which will never expel a pupil because it would mean loss of revenue, the fact that I can neither chastise them in Chinese nor affect their test scores and equally important, they know I only have their classes once or twice a term to justify the inflated fees charged over those of other schools that don’t have a foreign teacher - ie all of them.

However, if this is the way it is to be then I am all for it because it makes a marked difference to their behaviour and I actually enjoy it for once. Long may it continue. I did a bit of shopping and had lunch afterwards in the vain hope that the rain would ease off but it simply increased in intensity so I had little choice but to brave it and try to keep as dry as I could. I would have wished the rain would bugger off to England but it appears they are getting ample as it is.

I have a date on Tuesday with Joanna (or more correctly Zhu Ana which is pronounced Ju Anna) for dinner so I will probably take her to the Korean bbq restaurant we went to yesterday, I want to try some different dishes. I haven’t made myself any dinner tonight but I did spit roast that pork and pinched the crackling for myself - my first in three years. The animals haven’t touched it which is really infuriating but it may be that I haven’t got the hang of spit roasting. I did it on 180C and although the outside is cooked I have a feeling the rest of it isn’t. Maybe next time I will do it on a much lower temperature because when in the past I have done chickens they have looked gorgeous but the meat has been dried out. Oh for a proper oven!

Still on matters culinary, does anyone know if you can make suet dumplings for a stew without suet? I know that sounds odd but no amount of searching online here yields suet, just pages and pages of lounge suits for sale. I was wondering if it was possible to substitute lard if anyone knows? Failing that I may make a stab by trying to buy some of the hard pork fat I sometimes see, grating it and seeing what happens. I wouldn’t mind trying to make goulash but the dumplings would be a nice touch.

And I know Christmas here is a very low key affair (eg just a meal and not a Christmassy one at that) but as I was idly musing online this afternoon I looked up the recipe for mulled wine. The only thing I could see that I can’t readily obtain is cloves but after much searching I now know I can get them delivered, so I reckon I can demand that Kevin and Ollivier both stump up the wine whilst I get the rest. You can’t beat a mug of it on a freezing night.

Oh, nearly forgot! I went to see Sonya at the bank when I finished teaching, not to get more money but because I finally asked Cinny to get the school to pay my wages into the account with the cashcard starting next month. When I took it from my wallet to show Cinny I noticed it was split, so went to the bank to ask for a replacement. Nothing is ever straightforward here is it? Unbelievably, getting a new card involves payment of money - ok only 15y of which 10y is the annual fee - and a completely different account number. I thought fine, do it and before my salary is paid in I will tell the uni my new number. But no, Sonya didn’t want to do it because if I did it now it will cost me 25y whereas if I do it next year it will only cost me 5y. Talk about complicating something simple! I did go for a test run at the ATM while I was there and even with a torn card it worked so yes, I will leave it until she tells me it is time to change. No point in having local friends in places and not listening to them, is there?

Friday 23rd November, 2012          2000

Gordon flipping Bennett! This afternoon it turned positively freezing! Well ok, it was probably down to ten degrees but these days for me that is flaming cold. Time to buy a new hat for bike riding and drag the earmuffs out of the cupboard methinks.

Quite a good day today, both classes went well although the English corner cum party was a trifle disorganised in that it was held in the walkway on the third floor of our teaching block. As a result the students behaved in the usual rude manner by chatting loudly with each other while my class performed a playlet they had been working on and crowded in when I gave them the games to play, but in fairness they seemed to enjoy it and it only lasted an hour.

Tomorrow Kevin is picking Kiki and me up to return the bread maker, go to the bank, do a quick shop (Kiki needs to buy a thick sweater) and then by way of recompense for his trouble I said I would spring for lunch, especially as Daisy is back in town for the day and he can bring her along to make a foursome.

Saturday 24th       1730

I made the oddest dinner last night. Not fancying anything on campus I decided to use all my available resources at home - to wit, some farfalle pasta and a tin of hot and spicy sardines in tomato sauce. Sounds disgusting but actually it was fine and filled a hole. In fact it was too much for me to eat so the cats got an exotic treat. I was disgusted with the dog and the cats though for earlier I had gone to buy fish for their supper but seen some meat. Instead I bought the meat, basically a lump of pig ribcage, thinking the bones would be good for Pepsi. When I found out the price - 40y - I fervently wished I had stuck to the original plan and bought fish for a third of that. Not one of the animals has touched it, so I reckon I will end up taking it down to the shops tomorrow and leaving it on the grass for grateful wild dogs to devour. My lot are spoilt and would probably be quite content with liver every night, something I am seriously considering because that is the cheapest thing I can buy which pleases them all.

Anyway, the bread maker is now winging its way back for repair free of charge this time. Tomorrow I may use Kevin’s machine but use the exact ingredients mine calls for - it will be interesting to see whether his contraption produces bread as heavy as mine is, in which case I know I need to seriously play around with the volumes.

After a swift pitstop at the bank we all went our separate ways, Kevin and Daisy to China Telecom to try and set up internet access for his phone (they did but he never got the password!) and Kiki and I to the Lottemart centre. All I needed were a few bits as I can go again after teaching tomorrow but Kiki didn’t buy her sweater because the cheapest she could find was 220y (£22) which I also thought was a little expensive. Then I treated everyone to lunch at a Korean barbecue restaurant - on the dear side and not somewhere I go often, but nice. In fact I wished it had been more expensive as I left not quite full! They do the best beef in the city in my opinion, we had scallops, prawns, rice cakes, spuds, sushi etc and it made a nice change. Mind you, for 40y more I could have bought that sweater!

Today was cold but bright, unfortunately the forecast says I will require my cape to go downtown and the mercury is not expected to rise above 5C, a temperature last seen in March so it won’t be pleasant. It will though be a good test for my gauntlets.

Some of my new students stopped to chat with me last night and in the course of conversation they said their class would like to take me for lunch or dinner on Christmas day. That hasn’t happened before and I asked them to speak to me again during the week as usually we foreigners eat together along with our favourite Chinese students. Now if it isn’t another Chinese promise it would mean a free meal for me but as Kiki will be leaving early in the new year I rather want to have her with me on the day regardless of where or what I eat. I have a plan if they are serious, and that is to ask Kevin and Ollivier if they would like to come with a student apiece (Daisy probably won’t be here) and we could all contribute our share and if agreed then I would suggest the class organise a nice meal in a large private room for thirty-odd. That would be very nice indeed, if it comes to anything.

And while I was typing that last paragraph I received a timely reminder of what winter here is all about, keeping an eye on how much amperage I am using at any given time! I was suddenly plunged into darkness as the main breaker outside tripped because I had the aircon, two blow heaters, a hotplate and the washing machine on all at once. I had forgotten that to cook in winter I have to turn off at least one heater. Roll on the warm weather again…….

Wednesday 21st November, 2012        1800

There hasn’t been much to write about for the past two days. Yesterday I felt tired all day - my own fault for staying up late to finish off the blog entry after the meal - so dinner was a bacon and cheese sandwich using bread scrounged from Kevin and asleep before midnight. A fat lot of good it did me because for some reason I kept waking up throughout the night. I can’t really blame the cats because the worst thing they did was squash my feet by all four of them snuggling up alongside them and it didn’t help that every time I woke up my brain went into overdrive thinking about all manner of things such as the games I was going to get the students to play at their party on Friday, my broken bread maker etc.

As for the games, I am playing the egg trick again except Ollivier will be the “victim” left with the last egg which is allegedly not boiled (he will not know this of course) and for the bread maker, Kiki did well in getting the vendor to agree not only to a repair/replacement but also that this time they would foot the bill for the delivery back to them.

My classes today were simply great and I wish all of my classes were like it instead of merely half of them. The teacher can only do so much to bring enjoyment to learning, the students have to do their bit as well. So I am sitting here working up enthusiasm to take Pepsi out and get myself some dinner. I don’t know whether to have a hot pot or simply buy some bbq skewers to take away and reheat here later. Today has been so dismal with the cold and rain that there is no way I am going off campus to find fodder. I did have ideas about going downtown tomorrow to buy pet meat seeing as I am free and although I will charge the bike in readiness it is probable I won’t bother and they will have to have fish bought locally tomorrow and Friday. It is quite amazing how the weather can affect ones mood.

Thursday 22nd         1430       Thanksgiving Day

I really must make a point of educating my students so they know that because, inter alia, Thanksgiving Day is the celebration by the Americans of defeating us in war. For three years running my phone has been bombarded with texts wishing me happy Thanksgiving!

Oh, and finally after more than two years I have found out what the testicle/scrotum things are that my animals love so much - duck gizzards. And the beef burgers I fed them last month? Even THEY didn’t eat them!

Today is another thoroughly miserable one so there was no chance of my going to town and I have no intention of even going locally to buy fish. I will buy some squid, pork and chicken skewers from the bbq café raw and boil them myself. I really must get Cinny to organise my salary being paid into my account with the cash point card, that way if I run short of money I can use the ATMs on campus and save myself the trouble of travelling when the weather is awful.

Well, still raining here and probably at least half of tomorrow, Saturday is supposed to be clear but it returns again on Sunday. I really miss the summers here now. I took Pepsi out and did my shopping, also buying the skewers for the animal supper - sod doing that too often, ten sticks cost me 30y! Definitely fish tomorrow for them.

I have a weird day tomorrow with it being my “easy” week with only 14 lessons, I have two lessons from 0820 (groan) to 1000 and then another two from 1330 to 1510. It could be worse, the break would be an hour longer in the warm weather.

Anyway, here’s a photo to show how little Lottie is settling in with her housemates.

Sunday 18th November, 2012          1800

Well today has been a better day morale-wise than yesterday, if not for my bank balance!

It was a lovely day so at lunchtime I hopped on the bike and went downtown shopping. I tried to buy a sweater (I only have one old one with a stain that won’t disappear and another I bought here last year) without success, the largest Lottemart could offer would have looked as if it was painted on. Then I looked at juicers because I could do with one to produce passata seeing as I would use it most times we have a western Wednesday but at 300y I decided I would be better off looking on the internet and spending a bit more on a proper food processor in time. Until then I will carry on doing it by hand. Then it was ingredients for tomorrow’s lasagne and pet food. The bill was 435y! Ok, I bought 2 x 4kg bags of Whiskas and Pedigree biscuits which amounted to nearly half the total and which should last till next payday, but I reckon human food only came to about 100y.

After that I decided the pets shouldn’t have all the fun and treated myself to a late afternoon dumpling and steak platter - haven’t had one for a while. When I left  home it was sunny but a bit nippy, but when I finished my meal it was really warm and I didn’t even need to zip up my coat. it won’t last though as we have more rain forecast for midweek.

Did you know that unbelievably Chinese children are taught to walk on the side of the road where their backs are to the traffic? The flawed reasoning is in case they panic and cause an accident but Kevin is convinced it is simply another way to try to keep the population down. I can’t say his opinion is definitely wrong.

Last night at 2230 I eagerly opened BBC iPlayer to watch the England v Australia match, only to find that Aunty in her wisdom had elected to screen the Scotland match instead! What???? I ended up listening to our match on the radio, and of course I realise that the Beeb is for all four countries but to show a match where a home nation is guaranteed to lose seems a bit odd. Bit like showing England international football matches I suppose.

Monday 19th        2355

Nearly Tuesday.

For a day off it was hell. For starters I was preparing tonight’s meal for most of it (with only one hotplate, a small oven and animals to feed it needs time) and secondly my bread machine has packed in again! Of course it didn’t choose to do it AFTER it had mixed the dough to use as garlic baguettes, it had to do it so I had to take everything out and knead it myself. I don’t mind admitting I got quite puffed out knocking seven barrels out of a lump of dough! Just to make matters worse I either proved I am still a strong lad, or more likely I bought crap, because mid-way through crushing the garlic I managed to shatter my garlic press. I am seriously thinking of making future bread by hand!

The meal went well. On the western side both Kevin and Ollivier snaffled seconds on the lasagne and the girls raved over the crepes and some weird raisin bread sticks Ollivier cooked. It is somewhat disappointing to be the chef for the main course and be usurped by the dessert cook but then that is human nature - especially in China! I confess I ate two pancakes topped by castor sugar (yes I found it) and lemon juice and without the pastis and very enjoyable they were too.

Despite all good intentions to wind up early the girls stayed until five minutes before their dormitory blocks were closing and after polishing off the plonk Ollivier and I left a short while ago. Bedtime shortly as I need to be up to teach tomorrow (at least when we have it on Wednesday I don’t teach the following day but I really owed this to Tutu for missing her grad photo) and so I will end here.

And for those on the Conway site who have read Tutu’s posts, she is the one in the grey coat and yellow sweater underneath.

Friday 16th November, 2012        1800

Mid-morning I was summoned to Professor Fang’s office. I regret to report that as a result of that meeting, Robin is now on death row and the sentence will be carried out at about lunchtime tomorrow. Apparently the reason I had not been approached after a student was bitten was because there was doubt over whether my dog had done it. This time though, they are sure because she was running after me on my e-bike when apparently she veered off and bit a teacher. I was asked to get rid of her and although yes, I could go with Kevin and abandon her somewhere else, the right thing to do is to have her destroyed because the next time it could be a small child.

I will of course be utterly distraught when I hand over the 200y execution fee to the vet tomorrow but I feel I have no option. I admit to having concerns in the past about her behaviour but never really thought she would go so far as to sink teeth into flesh and it is my duty to ensure she never does so again.

This happened after my first of three classes and I must admit it was taxing to remain outwardly cheerful in the other classes today - especially when the last one was the observed class with eight Chinese teachers attending. The one thing I have learnt since starting teaching is to leave my troubles outside the classroom door so as far as I know neither students nor staff have an inkling of the decision I made at ten o’clock.

As for the teachers who came to “learn”, I did notice they were all smiling a lot of the time so I hope that was a good sign, considering the moment they left they immediately filed into the meeting room on the floor below!

Saturday 17th       1800

I was so distracted last night that I got a couple of bread buns from a stall on campus and walked off without paying the 2y, resulting in the owners having to send their small child chasing after me. Good job they have known me ever since I have been here. Later I did something I didn’t think possible. One of my classes is having an English corner-cum-party on Friday and they asked me to come up with some games. They have been instructed to buy ballooons and string for the stamping game, apples and bring a bucket for bobbing and I thought I would use the egg game so bought some eggs and put them on to boil. I was so introspective I forgot all about them and they boiled dry. I actually burnt boiled eggs - the shells were charcoal!

Although I went to bed early my sleep was fitful and of course all I could do was think about the impending execution. I had prepared a big last supper of liver but Robin decided not to come home anyway. I got up early and waited for Kevin to suface, then we captured Robin using food and subterfuge. I swear she knew what was going on because she was highly wary of me, but we got her in the car and set off. My mood was understandably morose.

At the vets I thought it best to hand over the money immediately because I felt I would not feel up to small talk and courtesy once the deed was done. The doctor was at lunch so we had to wait a few minutes, interminable ones at that. To make matters worse, at three we were due at a language society party and I wasn’t sure if I could maintain a jovial pretence or speak on stage if asked.

The vet returned and there ensued a lot of Chinese conversation followed by much tapping of keys on a laptop, which they eventually got translated online for me. It read that because she was healthy they didn’t have the heart to kill her, but if I was happy to leave the monies I had paid they would keep her there and find a new home for her. They knew full well she had bitten someone and I was at pains to point out that she would need to be confined in a secure garden and kept on a lead when out - they didn’t see a problem with it. Cynic that I am something in the back of my mind has dark thoughts of her being somebodys Sunday stir fry, but then she would still end up dead, which is what I took her there for. They have a room downstairs that often has dogs in it and it seems they genuinely do try to rehome unwanted ones, so fingers crossed. She would make a good guard dog for a farm.

As a result although of course I am sad she has gone I am happy she is not in the great kennel in the sky and so I actually enjoyed this afternoon’s concert - even though most of it was in Chinese.

Wednesday 14th November, 2012          1300

Just a quick entry on my lunch break because I may not get time later. Kevin and I are off to a graduation dinner tonight, one of what should have been three of them. However, when I was down at the shops having a drink and giving Pepsi her outing two students stopped to chat with me. One was from a class I taught this term and are graduating very soon, the other from a class I did teach but which was given to Kevin this term.

When I asked when their parties were taking place I found out the class Kevin had (but which I taught for two years) had theirs the night of the grad photo. Their form teacher this term decided as there were only two boys in the class that one of them should be the monitor and of course the worst possible candidate got the job, displacing Georgina who was actually very good. The dinner was announced even to the students at two hours notice and as a result the only teacher to  attend was the form teacher and Georgina was so disgusted she didn’t go to her own grad party.

Now if that wasn’t enough to displease me, the other student told me that their monitor would invite me today to their party, which is tonight. A month ago I told the class not to leave asking me to the last minute because otherwise I may have other plans, that being the case this evening as I have already agreed to go to another party. The monitor invited me at 1100 today and I had no option but to decline (or do a dastardly thing and go back on my word with the other class). I must say I am disgusted because this means I will not get to properly say goodbye to any of my students who I have seen all the way through school (tonight’s is Daisy’s class and I only had them for one term) until this time next year when my four year students finish.

Just to make my day Cinny (my new Tina) sent a message to say that several Chinese teachers want to come and observe my Friday afternoon class to learn. I have no problem with teachers sitting in (as long as they take part in the lesson as students!) but they could not have picked a worse class!!! There are 40 students and on the 3 year course so they are as active as sloths on valium and their course book is abysmal! I have suggested that it might be better if they come to either of my two morning classes instead - fingers crossed otherwise I will have to invent my own lesson outwith the course material and invest in a cattle prod to stimulate student activity. Quite why teachers are being sent to learn from me is beyond me seeing as I only have 2 years experience, unless of course they are fresh out of the cardboard box themselves.

2130

After the party.

We were paid two days late again this month so I coerced Kevin into taking me along with two students a little earlier so I could go to the bank, chemist, cigar shop and supermarket first.

Parties/dinners here tend to be brief affairs quite unlike the late night drinking sessions westerners have, so after just over two hours it was done. I have to say they put on a good spread - I have been in the same hotel room but two years ago - with enough different dishes for me to at least enjoy some. They also ensured I was well watered by having two crates of pijou placed by my chair! I can’t drink 24 pints (even Chinese beer) in two hours! Kevin is plainly becoming either an animal or Chinese because he actually ate a pig’s ear, something I declined, although in fairness he did balk at the chicken feet apparently. Although it was brief it was a privilege to have been invited since my teaching of them was but short.

I suppose I should have been happy to have been a part of sending them into the real world but of course I was sad because this was farewell. I was doubly sad because I had to miss another party because the monitor only invited me today and I would have particularly liked to have attended Bessie’s bash, but such is life. Doubtless I shall become inured to it but I think I have a few years before that happens.

Kevin and I both have suspicions over Friday. Loads of Chinese teachers sitting in to learn? I think it is an assessment but they just don’t want to let me know, and in fact one of the teachers tonight is coming and swore blind it was just to learn. Utter rot, he has been a teacher for at least ten years. I have in fact been successful in swapping classes so at least I have one of my better lot instead of the deadheads (must remember to tell them tomorrow so they don’t turn up) and it will be interesting to see if the teachers stay for part two - when they did this to Kevin last year they left at the break. Kevin thinks I may ruffle feathers but he displays little faith, I really want them to see the whole deal and the one thing I will not do is alter my style of teaching. It is my class, my classroom and my students! Nervous? Not in the slightest. Will they get the authentic Professor Fury experience? Definitely!

Monday 12th November, 2012       0030

There is no entry for yesterday because it took an unexpected turn!

I had two classes downtown between 1550 and 1720 and although we had bright sunshine it wasn’t that warm, so bearing in mind I was going to be riding home in the dark and the chill I had the foresight to don the lower part of some long johns. I was thankful I did, as you will see later.

In the kids school the owner asked if it was ok for some of the Chinese teachers to sit in on my lessons as they had asked in order to learn some pronunciation. Either that or he has told them to! I said it wasn’t a problem and indeed in my first class Kerry sat in. The children were so well behaved I nearly passed out. If all my classes were like that I would love it. In fact they were so good I had to force myself to leave the last ten minutes aside so they could play the picture game, it wouldn’t have been fair otherwise when every other class gets it. Kerry’s reactions to the enthusiasm the students worked up in desperately trying to beat the other team suggested to me not only has she never seen anything like it before but also I think I may not be the only one who plays it at that school for much longer.

The second class were very familiar to me - meaning normally fairly naughty. However, I was informed they had just taken an exam and their teacher (who didn’t sit in) asked if I could teach a dozen new words from the unit in the book and then let them relax. Fine by me, so I told the class about the five lives and no game rule and we would do the new words first, after that we would play. They already knew the supposedly new words so most of the lesson was the game! But fun.

I had left and was riding home, having travelled about a mile, when my phone rang. I stopped and answered - the call was from another teacher here at the university. She was with some friends and they would like to meet me and take me for dinner. I agreed because I was so close to town (they would have collected me from home anyway) and I was asked to call Kevin to see if he would come as well. He was tied up but I rode back to an agreed rendezvous point in the full knowledge that although I would be getting a free dinner something would be required in return, it always is. I was picked up by a 5-series BMW.

The something in return was not as I suspected private English tuition for a child, but help with his company setting up exports to the UK! I haven’t a clue what he makes other than that it involves steel. I am awaiting further clarification. He also wants to set me up with a ready-made family. She is 35 and “very pretty” so I asked that if she was that pretty why was she not married? Divorced with a 7yo son. Not a barrier to me, but his idea of gorgeous may be completely at odds with mine! It was also suggested that for Chinese new year they take me to Shandong province (warmer in the houses there at that time of winter) and so I played my Get Out Of Jail card - I can’t because of the animals. Didn’t work - he has a pedigree dog that by all accounts cost him 50,000y (£5,000) and would arrange for all my animals to be looked after or alternatively be transported to Shandong with us! Bloody hell.

Anyway, they took me to dinner in a “tent” restaurant similar to the one I tried in Meilong in the summer. About 18 months ago I had found myself kicked off the No 7 bus when I missed my stop and it terminated in that road. I remember blogging about all the tent cafes and saying one day I would go there to eat - tonight was that day.

The meal was typically Chinese and not really satisfying for me. Hotpots with fish and something akin to duck, tofu and vegetable dishes plus whole crabs. There is an art to eating crabs with no nutcrackers and an intact shell and to be fair he taught me how to do it just using my fingers.

After a while he turned to me and said “car-ok”. He speaks no English but I said “ok, but WC first”. I assumed what he said was that we would leave and he would drive us back to where I left my bike. I started to become a tad concerned when I noticed we were driving in the opposite direction to my bike but kept quiet. Ah! He was taking the woman who was at dinner home first, phew. She got out and then we continued going away from where I needed to go, so now I thought it best to say something. I asked the other teacher where the hell we were going. It was then that I discovered what Mr Shoo’s “car-ok” really meant. Karaoke. Oh Lord.

I can’t fault the guy for giving me an excruciating couple of hours listening to him and our companions caterwauling through Chinese songs and even demanding I sing one (Daydream Believer) very badly just to prove I was telling the truth about my inability to become a pop star. I can’t even fault him for not providing enough beer for the only one drinking it instead of Chinese tea - me - or for instantly deciding that even though he had already paid for the private room and after five minutes I had said I was going out to buy a bottle of red for later when I got home, that he would take me back and they would all leave. As much as I never wanted to go in the first place I would not be so churlish as to curtail four other people’s evenings entertainment. Well, not while I could at least have a pijou!

Nonetheless it was eleven before I was dropped off at my bike. Then I was really thankful I had put the long johns on because by the time I arrived back on campus I noticed frosty car windscreens. I had leather gloves but still my hands got cold on the ride so tomorrow I will stow my gauntlets under the saddle. Now it is nearly two in the morning (don’t worry, I am not teaching until after lunch tomorrow) and it is the end of a busy, interesting and highly bizarre five days!

It will be good to get back to work for a rest.

Monday 12th        1730

On the way up the stairs to my afternoon class I was followed by some of the girls in it. One was carrying a carton which I assumed held small 250ml packs of UHT milk seeing as that was what was advertised on it. Jokingly I asked if it was for me but she changed the subject, instead informing me that she had an interesting story to tell me. I of course told her to save it and share it with the class.

The story went as follows: The other night she found a kitten shivering in the cold and took pity on it, taking it to her dormitory to keep warm and get a feed of Chinese ham sausage. After a couple of days the supervisor…….by this time the contents of the milk box was becoming vocal and you can guess as I did as to what it contained……..informed her that pets were not allowed. You know the rest - the newest member of the family is Lottie (see photo). Another one that looks to have been abandoned by mum at too early an age.

She is currently getting her bearings and being stalked by the three adult felines plus being sniffed at by the canine ones. So far there is no blood. And no, I didn’t want yet another pet but it is difficult to refuse in front of a class of mostly 19 yo girls who are looking to you to be the saviour of this helpless mite with winter fast approaching. With Robin staying out most nights these days (although she just HAD to come home this afternoon to investigate the new arrival) it won’t cost me anything more by way of food. I just pray she doesn’t (and  think it is a she) wreak any more destruction than the others. So far she has found the food and eaten lustily, had a drink and hopefully will realise what the litter bowl is for in due course. And naughtiness aside, cats are far easier to care for than dogs.

Saturday 10th November, 2012         1400

I am going back out again in 15 minutes but I thought I would start today’s entry anyway. It would appear the problem with my camera was a faulty USB lead as we tried it on Kevin’s equipment and it worked ok, so hopefully there will be a fair few pictures for me to attach to this.

Getting up this morning was a wrench, but as Kevin actually stayed on campus last night it didn’t matter that it was damp because we went in his car. Considering the type of event today was, the stadium was never going to be packed out but there were still a fair few hundred people there - at a guess with 16 different high street bank “brands” participating with an average of probably twenty on a team there were 300 competitors alone. But it wasn’t Tai Chi - it was what can only be described as synchronised aerobics! Despite it not being my cup of tea I enjoyed it and it wasn’t a waste of time because I had a friend taking part. She spotted us straight away when her team marched proudly in but couldn’t wave as she was carrying the sign which said (in Chinese of course) which bank they were. You will see from the photo which one she is (wearing light blue jackets) and also of the one immediately after their performance where she stopped before joining us and posed in a typically Chinese way with both hands giving the Churchillian victory sign.

As we waited for the remaining banks - some of whom we had never heard of, let alone seen a branch - to go through their routines she sat and chatted with us. We were then informed that this afternoon there is another round but this time it sounds as if it is involving skipping ropes! Kevin isn’t going so I am leaving shortly on my bike, I feel compelled to attend if only for Sonia’s sake (I think she is secretly chuffed at being able to show off her laowei friends to her colleagues!) and also because it sounds interesting. That and of course also because it is something new to me and I try not to be a stick in the mud here as you never know how much enjoyment you may get.

Ok, I will finish for now, after it is over I may carry on to town and have dinner there but on my return I will continue. I don’t have to get up early tomorrow as my two lessons don’t start until 1550 - meaning, as today will, that I will be riding home in the dark.

2200

Today has been tiring, interesting, unusual and actually quite fun.

This afternoon did indeed feature skipping, not synchronised but three team members from each bank skipping solo in batches of four. The object was to skip as many times as possible in 60 seconds. Sonya was quite good and finished with fourth place out of 48 - there is a team photo with her looking rather pleased with her prize of a plaque.

When that finished there was a tug’o’war competition which sadly her bank wasn’t in as they couldn’t muster enough hands as volunteers yesterday, but it was fun to watch anyway. I couldn’t take any shots of it though as you couldn’t see the teams (let alone the rope) for the throngs which crowded in close.

When I finally left I carried on into town and to Ke Bi Wang for my dinner and it was the first time I have ever had my camera on me there. I took advantage of it by taking pictures of two waitresses, the serving wenches & buffet bar and of course Kaleeja and JinJun in the dark jackets by the till.

Whilst eating dinner I observed a car park illegally on the main road outside. Besides the fact there is no parking it was left blocking an exit from the e-bike side road and worse, right in front of my own bike. Now, I never use the side stand when I leave my bike, most people do but to me it makes it easier for anyone to knock over if they are walking past and bump into it. I use the rear stand which involves the rear wheel lifting off the ground and the whole bike moving back about a foot. As a result, when I hop on it and propel it forward to release the stand, it moves a foot forward again plus a bit more with the momentum.

Coming out of the restaurant it was still there so I inspected the distance between my front bullbar and the nearside rear door of the car and decided that if I was very quick to stop my bike once the back wheel hit the ground I should just be able to avoid hitting it. I also decided not to make strenuous efforts to prevent forward motion because the car door would do it for me anyway. As I created a nice little dent in the door the owner emerged from the eatery and saw the “accident” as it took place. He never said a word. Had he done so I would have suggested he call the police (he may still, but I wasn’t the one parked illegally) and I would have happily explained the circumstances.

Ok enough. Here are a ton of photos which sadly for some reason seem to be jumbled up, however anything taken outside is the uni sports meetings, inside is the bank jamboree and Ke Bi Wang is pretty obvious.