Sunday 28th June, 2015 Noon
Friday was a rather annoying day.
No sooner did I arrive home for my lunch break, turn on the laptop, than the heavens opened accompanied by peals of thunder. As often happens, we had a blackout. Fine, I thought, it should be back on again by the time I finish in the afternoon and have been to the business street.
Sure enough, just as I finished my exams for the week, voila - power restored. Down to the office to kill a few flies and a couple of bottles. Kevin turned up but just for a chat as he was going to town to teach at his small school. About twenty-five minutes after he left I received a text from him complaining that it wasn’t supposed to rain that evening. I said it wasn’t here but he responded to say he was in a dumpling restaurant quite literally steaming and that it was bucketing down. Rather unwisely in retrospect, he had elected to take his motorbike instead of the car. Halfway through his journey it had started to spit but he decided not to break out the cape. Of course the ferocious storms we get here are on you in an instant and before he knew it he was under a power shower.
Taking that as my cue, I finished my beer and left for home. It started raining mildly en route but nothing troubling, so I put the bike on charge and covered it. Got home, turned on the laptop and the storm hit us. Bang went the power again. Two hours later at 1930 it was restored. For about 30 seconds and then off it went again. No water, electricity or internet. Another hour passed and some of the student dormitories had it restored but not ours and not Joan’s.
Just as I was about to turn in at eleven because I had an early start, ours came back. It took half an hour for the internet to return because the school mainframe had to boot up but at least we were back to normal.
In the morning Joan and I left to go to Helen’s school for me to spend a couple of hours testing her students’ pronunciation. Boring probably for Joan but at least we got lunch out of it (neither of us got dinner Friday night due to the power) and to be honest, spit and sawdust restaurant though it was, the food was the equal of anywhere in Chizhou, with place of honour going to a delicious sweet pork whose only drawback was that the meat had bones in it.
Sadly we had to leave early as Joan was volunteering to teach (and thus learning how to teach) elsewhere in town. I promised to have her there on time and did so. I came straight home to try and grab forty winks, for I was going out again a little later. I had been invited to a “gathering” dinner hosted by “my” little school (the one I am getting a free holiday at summer camp with). Once the owner had been informed by me that Kevin was leaving Chizhou, he immediately asked me to invite him as well. Nice for Kevin and handy for me because it meant we took his car. Admittedly we had to pick up three of the small school’s girl teachers but they showed us where the restaurant was.
I kicked myself hard for not taking my camera. I had expected just another run of the mill place but this one was so very typically Chinese, with old photographs on the walls, part of it had a thatched roof and the dining room had spectacular furniture and crockery with exquisite blue patterns. I am sure I will find an excuse to go there again and will be sure to take the camera next time.
The owner of the school himself was, as per the norm, extremely late, so the food had been on the table for fifteen minutes by the time he arrived. The dishes on the burners were fine but the rest was cold by the time we started. Fourteen of us tucked into a dozen dishes, the best of which for me was what looked like deep fried battered aubergine but none of us knew precisely what it was. There was also Chinese “pizza” which I love but is very spicy. Each time I had a mouthful I had to leave it alone for fifteen minutes for the pain to subside!
During the meal we were assailed by another monumental thunderstorm. Kevin and I both remarked that we would be in darkness once we got back and we were sadly not proved wrong. The drive back was fraught, visibility was much reduced and there were even deep puddles going uphill. For two pins I would have checked into an hotel downtown for the night (rare to lose power there) but all the street lights outside campus were on and it looked as if the business street was fine. I believe a number of students went and stayed in hotels, doubtless half a dozen or more to a room. Wise decision because we weren’t back to normal until 2315 that time.
Joan, Kevin and I have all been grumbling about the cuts but this morning I happened to see this in China Daily online:
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2015-06/28/content_21123440_2.htm
Nanjing is (by Chinese standards) quite close to here, about three hours drive. I have visions of students retreating to the top bunks!
Today so far all is fine. Overcast and warm enough for a ride to town for breakfast and shopping. They even have plenty of my cheap wine now Ollivier’s car is not here - typical - but I bought a few bottles. Hopefully he will return and we can go and buy all the bottles they have although once he and Kevin leave it will be a problem for me. I guess it will be a case of seeing how much of it the supermarket have and if ample, hail a taxi to carry it. Of course that would mean taking the bus in so a reconnaissance mission on the bike would need to be carried out the day before.
And I forgot to buy more candles.
Thursday, 25 June 2015
Thursday 25th June, 2015 1800
Yesterday was the start of the final examinations for this term for me and even though I started early and worked through the break it still took until the final bell both in the morning and afternoon to get through sixteen students in two classes. Other than that the day was pretty humdrum.
Until I got home last night. There was a proof-reading to do for a thesis (it still tickles me that I don’t have a degree but am editing theses for bachelors, masters and doctorates) which was way above my head, being something to do with copolymers and all sorts of other weird and wonderful compounds. An easy enough job but made slightly slower by encountering words I have never seen before and having to check to see if they were real or not - they were.
Once I finished that I received a text from Cinny. Could I go to the foreign affairs office at 0930 this morning with my passport and foreign expert certificate in order to sign a new contract and allow for the sending off of my documents to renew my residency.
As I had arranged to go for breakfast and shopping with Ollivier I should have been miffed but of course finally having all doubt removed over my future for the next year mitigated it somewhat. In any event it only took five minutes and we could easily have made breakfast but not only wasn’t I hungry but I didn’t feel so good. I think it was because today has been really hot and humid. I feel a lot better now and am in my air-conditioned castle. I will shortly take another shower as I did get a bit damp earlier.
However I am now set fair for another year and I have probably ten months during which I can ask questions and formulate a strategy to fight the battle which in all likelihood will occur once I hit the big six-oh. Fight I will and I have no idea of the outcome but I really don’t want to go elsewhere. Next year will see me clock up six years here and there are certainly better paying jobs to be had (some with treble the salary in private schools but with far longer hours and less holidays) but I am comfortable here and rather like the light workload.
I don’t lead a jet-set lifestyle nor do I particularly want to. I am reasonably happy with being able to source western food, go out for meals occasionally and do a spot of travelling in China.
Kevin and Ollivier are having farewell parties with their students (they finished their exams before I even started) and Kevin confessed that yesterday the students touched him so much that he was a blubbering wreck. I called him a baby but I am pretty sure he knows were our roles reversed I would probably be even worse!
I have a short gig at Helen’s school testing pronunciation on Saturday (I do it once in spring festival and twice in summer for her) so Joan is coming. We are always treated to lunch afterwards.
Next Saturday is Kevin and Ollivier’s farewell meal for the staff (the buggers are setting a precedent so that if it happens to me I have to fork out for one) and although I don’t know the numbers, Prof Fang, the foreign affairs office, teaching assistants etc are coming. It looks as if Kevin will down a few as he says we will take taxis, or rather probably a bus there and a cab back.
Olivier’s parents will arrive in China soon for a holiday and to meet Penelope Pitstop’s folks and he is now trying to organise a tourist visa for after his residence permit expires on the thirtieth of next month. I spoke to Bonnie the policewoman who handles immigration and apparently she has already told his wife he can get a tourist visa when he goes to Shandong. Kevin’s is being sorted by his new employers which is handy, because if your papers expire you have to go back to your own country and start all over again - a pain.
Yesterday was the start of the final examinations for this term for me and even though I started early and worked through the break it still took until the final bell both in the morning and afternoon to get through sixteen students in two classes. Other than that the day was pretty humdrum.
Until I got home last night. There was a proof-reading to do for a thesis (it still tickles me that I don’t have a degree but am editing theses for bachelors, masters and doctorates) which was way above my head, being something to do with copolymers and all sorts of other weird and wonderful compounds. An easy enough job but made slightly slower by encountering words I have never seen before and having to check to see if they were real or not - they were.
Once I finished that I received a text from Cinny. Could I go to the foreign affairs office at 0930 this morning with my passport and foreign expert certificate in order to sign a new contract and allow for the sending off of my documents to renew my residency.
As I had arranged to go for breakfast and shopping with Ollivier I should have been miffed but of course finally having all doubt removed over my future for the next year mitigated it somewhat. In any event it only took five minutes and we could easily have made breakfast but not only wasn’t I hungry but I didn’t feel so good. I think it was because today has been really hot and humid. I feel a lot better now and am in my air-conditioned castle. I will shortly take another shower as I did get a bit damp earlier.
However I am now set fair for another year and I have probably ten months during which I can ask questions and formulate a strategy to fight the battle which in all likelihood will occur once I hit the big six-oh. Fight I will and I have no idea of the outcome but I really don’t want to go elsewhere. Next year will see me clock up six years here and there are certainly better paying jobs to be had (some with treble the salary in private schools but with far longer hours and less holidays) but I am comfortable here and rather like the light workload.
I don’t lead a jet-set lifestyle nor do I particularly want to. I am reasonably happy with being able to source western food, go out for meals occasionally and do a spot of travelling in China.
Kevin and Ollivier are having farewell parties with their students (they finished their exams before I even started) and Kevin confessed that yesterday the students touched him so much that he was a blubbering wreck. I called him a baby but I am pretty sure he knows were our roles reversed I would probably be even worse!
I have a short gig at Helen’s school testing pronunciation on Saturday (I do it once in spring festival and twice in summer for her) so Joan is coming. We are always treated to lunch afterwards.
Next Saturday is Kevin and Ollivier’s farewell meal for the staff (the buggers are setting a precedent so that if it happens to me I have to fork out for one) and although I don’t know the numbers, Prof Fang, the foreign affairs office, teaching assistants etc are coming. It looks as if Kevin will down a few as he says we will take taxis, or rather probably a bus there and a cab back.
Olivier’s parents will arrive in China soon for a holiday and to meet Penelope Pitstop’s folks and he is now trying to organise a tourist visa for after his residence permit expires on the thirtieth of next month. I spoke to Bonnie the policewoman who handles immigration and apparently she has already told his wife he can get a tourist visa when he goes to Shandong. Kevin’s is being sorted by his new employers which is handy, because if your papers expire you have to go back to your own country and start all over again - a pain.
Tuesday, 23 June 2015
Tuesday 23rd June, 2015 1730
On Monday Ollivier very kindly offered to go for breakfast and shopping (I needed a replenishment of cheap wine and still do) and it was also handy because my fridge is so cold (kept that way for amber nectar reasons) that the lettuce I had bought for last night was frostbitten.
He just had a McCafe and I a muffin - I wasn’t hungry either but I see no point in going there and not eating. Still no bloody wine (well not the cheap stuff) but I did get the gear for another meal tomorrow night which Kevin and Ollivier can come and take home to eat.
Last night was always going to be fraught - at least for me - and yes, it was a great evening (Kevin and I even had a couple of heated arguments for old times sake, lately we haven‘t). the prawn cocktails, while not exactly conventional seeing as they were in Coke glasses (see photo one of two) appeared to be enjoyed, as did the bangers, mash and beans.
What happened next completely threw me. We had been sitting chatting for ages when Kevin suddenly blurted to Olivier “Are we having a dessert or not?”
Bloody hell. No wonder he had kept it secret. He had made a cake (photo 2) and “iced” it with meringue. The Union flag on one side and the Chinese flag on the other for the students. He stated the French flag was underneath and to be honest I never picked up on that until Ollivier started cutting into the cake. Then it was obvious - he had made it in three layers and had bought dye online so the three layers were the French tricolour. Astonishing and I doff my cap to his thoughtfulness. The cake itself was awful because it was too sweet but that does not detract in any way from the consideration and ingenuity which went into it.
As it was the last ever we will have as a team I felt we should crack open a bottle of Sandemans I have had in my flat for about a year. And it HAD to be finished. Sadly Ollivier had ensured all of Kevin’s wine had been drunk plus some of his own prior to this. It was to have a telling effect on me later. So port and cheese it was.
I sincerely hope Anna, Joan and Shanee appreciated the momentousness of the occasion for we three Kings of Orient, they being the the Chosen Ones for something so special for us.
Anyway, for once I wasn’t wearing my watch and it was with some surprise on my part when Kevin announced it was almost midnight. Previously at these affairs the girls have all chattered away in Chinese for a couple of minutes and then announced they had to leave before their dormitories were locked (at 2300) and they couldn’t get in. It never happened and so of course they were now all locked out.
Three girls with nowhere to sleep. Needless to say they were all accommodated and whilst the school would look very badly upon it, it was simply the right and honourable thing to do. I had two of them - and of course we all have spare bedrooms.
In five years in China no student has ever seen me really drunk and although I have tied a few on in the privacy of my own home I reckon last night was the pinnacle to date. Oh yes, sitting at the table I was fine. It was when the girls and I got home and after they went to their temporary lodgings that it all went wrong.
I can remember most of it but not quite what caused it. I suspect I may have been taking off my trousers (can’t stand on one leg anyway any more) but the next thing I knew was I was flat on my back on the floor and struggling to get back up. It is entirely possible that left alone I would have simply decided it was the best place to stay and just go to sleep but without asking Joan about it I am not sure whether I made such a crash so as to prompt her to come rushing in to get me up on my feet or she was simply coming to say goodnight. She sort of admonished me and said I should go to bed. I didn’t of course, I was just happy to be able to sit in my chair - the one I think that ran away shortly before, causing my embarrassing mishap. A little later I turned in.
When I got up this morning my left ribcage was agony, as was my shoulder and in the shower I noticed a nasty contusion on my right leg. Quite how I sustained these injuries simply by falling over in a bedroom are beyond me but they certainly fit the pattern this Chinese new year has fallen into - keep Steve in constant pain!
I don’t care (I’m tough, I was a sailor) because it was a great (if rather sad) night and one I shall certainly remember.
At lunchtime today Ollivier and I went back to town for a Big Mac and to see if t
hey had my wine. They didn’t but I bought a baguette to have later after what was to be an afternoon nap but which will now be an evening one, with the three sausages that were left. I also bought some stuff to make tomorrow’s dinner. Sadly Joan will not spend much time with me for the next few weeks because she needs to revise for her exams and of course I have to agree with it - whenever she is here it is at least a couple of hours although she gets fed plenty - and I want her to do well. There will be time in the summer to be together.
It has been warm and muggy today. After Ollivier and I got back from town we had a couple in the office and came home. I was going to bed from five to seven but now it looks to be six-thirty until eight. That’s what happens when I start to blog - all or nothing.
On Monday Ollivier very kindly offered to go for breakfast and shopping (I needed a replenishment of cheap wine and still do) and it was also handy because my fridge is so cold (kept that way for amber nectar reasons) that the lettuce I had bought for last night was frostbitten.
He just had a McCafe and I a muffin - I wasn’t hungry either but I see no point in going there and not eating. Still no bloody wine (well not the cheap stuff) but I did get the gear for another meal tomorrow night which Kevin and Ollivier can come and take home to eat.
Last night was always going to be fraught - at least for me - and yes, it was a great evening (Kevin and I even had a couple of heated arguments for old times sake, lately we haven‘t). the prawn cocktails, while not exactly conventional seeing as they were in Coke glasses (see photo one of two) appeared to be enjoyed, as did the bangers, mash and beans.
What happened next completely threw me. We had been sitting chatting for ages when Kevin suddenly blurted to Olivier “Are we having a dessert or not?”
Bloody hell. No wonder he had kept it secret. He had made a cake (photo 2) and “iced” it with meringue. The Union flag on one side and the Chinese flag on the other for the students. He stated the French flag was underneath and to be honest I never picked up on that until Ollivier started cutting into the cake. Then it was obvious - he had made it in three layers and had bought dye online so the three layers were the French tricolour. Astonishing and I doff my cap to his thoughtfulness. The cake itself was awful because it was too sweet but that does not detract in any way from the consideration and ingenuity which went into it.
As it was the last ever we will have as a team I felt we should crack open a bottle of Sandemans I have had in my flat for about a year. And it HAD to be finished. Sadly Ollivier had ensured all of Kevin’s wine had been drunk plus some of his own prior to this. It was to have a telling effect on me later. So port and cheese it was.
I sincerely hope Anna, Joan and Shanee appreciated the momentousness of the occasion for we three Kings of Orient, they being the the Chosen Ones for something so special for us.
Anyway, for once I wasn’t wearing my watch and it was with some surprise on my part when Kevin announced it was almost midnight. Previously at these affairs the girls have all chattered away in Chinese for a couple of minutes and then announced they had to leave before their dormitories were locked (at 2300) and they couldn’t get in. It never happened and so of course they were now all locked out.
Three girls with nowhere to sleep. Needless to say they were all accommodated and whilst the school would look very badly upon it, it was simply the right and honourable thing to do. I had two of them - and of course we all have spare bedrooms.
In five years in China no student has ever seen me really drunk and although I have tied a few on in the privacy of my own home I reckon last night was the pinnacle to date. Oh yes, sitting at the table I was fine. It was when the girls and I got home and after they went to their temporary lodgings that it all went wrong.
I can remember most of it but not quite what caused it. I suspect I may have been taking off my trousers (can’t stand on one leg anyway any more) but the next thing I knew was I was flat on my back on the floor and struggling to get back up. It is entirely possible that left alone I would have simply decided it was the best place to stay and just go to sleep but without asking Joan about it I am not sure whether I made such a crash so as to prompt her to come rushing in to get me up on my feet or she was simply coming to say goodnight. She sort of admonished me and said I should go to bed. I didn’t of course, I was just happy to be able to sit in my chair - the one I think that ran away shortly before, causing my embarrassing mishap. A little later I turned in.
When I got up this morning my left ribcage was agony, as was my shoulder and in the shower I noticed a nasty contusion on my right leg. Quite how I sustained these injuries simply by falling over in a bedroom are beyond me but they certainly fit the pattern this Chinese new year has fallen into - keep Steve in constant pain!
I don’t care (I’m tough, I was a sailor) because it was a great (if rather sad) night and one I shall certainly remember.
At lunchtime today Ollivier and I went back to town for a Big Mac and to see if t
It has been warm and muggy today. After Ollivier and I got back from town we had a couple in the office and came home. I was going to bed from five to seven but now it looks to be six-thirty until eight. That’s what happens when I start to blog - all or nothing.
Saturday, 20 June 2015
Friday 19th June, 2015 1245
Thought I should make a start during my lunch break seeing as I haven’t had much impetus since last time!
Firstly, the bank still hasn’t called to tell me what an idiot I am.
On Monday I did go to town and breakfast (they had bacon that time) and something odd occurred in McDonald’s. I had just finished eating and was sitting musing whilst finishing my coffee when a man in McD uniform plonked two fruit pies down in front of me saying, “These are for you.”
I asked why and he produced a packet of cigarettes and asked if I smoked. I told him yes but only cigars and he suggested we go out for a smoke (McDonald’s is one of the few places you can’t smoke inside in China). We went out, lit up and he explained the pies were to apologise for all the mistakes they have made in the past with my meals.
He then gave me an accolade I never expected or indeed I am sure I wanted but he informed me I was their best customer and he didn’t want to lose me. As manager he felt he should show me some preference! This news seemed to miff Kevin for he probably goes more often than I do, however usually he only goes for a coffee - I often take Joan and we both have breakfast. I suppose this “honour” may be beneficial if it means I will always get jam for my muffins!
That night I used the last of my mustard and produced what I think was a damned good macaroni cheese - there was even enough to give a dish of it to Ollivier to cook for him and his wife. I also had a first in that I actually ate twice as much as Joan! Giving some to Ollivier was my good deed and hopefully helped his wife Coco (henceforth to be known as Penelope Pitstop) following a road traffic accident she had in which she was clearly at fault, given that the other driver (unusually for Chinese drivers) hadn’t cut the corner when turning and Penelope hit him on his side of the road, she having gone extremely wide. Apparently there was space for three cars but she still managed it. Luckily damage was minor and nobody was injured. It may be a while before she gets behind the wheel again.
We have had some awful rain lately (thankfully today we have sun but the forecast for Monday looks hideous) and tomorrow is Dragon Boat Day so the students have a long weekend. Makes no difference to me of course. This week Kevin and Ollivier completed all their exams whilst I won’t start mine until next week. It’s not them trying to squeeze another fortnight’s holiday, rather they will have class parties with their lot as a farewell. To be honest I would do the same and doubtless there will be a few tears shed, possibly not only by the students. They have taught here for six and three years respectively and granted, Ollivier made the decision to leave but Kevin didn’t. I can guarantee when it happens to me I will be a train wreck.
One of my bathroom lights packed up last night (again) and the alternative in the evenings is to use the halogen lamps which heat the bathroom. Not ideal given that it is summer and in the high twenties. As a result tomorrow morning’s breakfast run with Joan will have to be on the bike so we can find somewhere that sells replacements. I have started using the bus more lately simply because the centre of town now frightens me, in particular the roundabout where I broke my pelvis. I would take a circuitous route except that Ollivier informed me of where he got the last bulb and the road runs off the roundabout.
Saturday 20th 2130
Later yesterday afternoon as I was leaving for the office I met Ollivier with little Hadrian coming out of our building. I hadn’t realised it was the day he was taking Penelope and the lad to Hefei to get the train to go to her parents. I knew he would be alone for Monday’s final western meal and also knew that he would be fetching the in-laws, wife and two kids back after school broke up before leaving for good. What I didn’t know was that in a week he will bring the wife and the other son back but not Hadrian. When I said that he would be returning again after that he said yes, but they will just be passing through. So that was probably the last time I will ever see the boy. He gave me a little kiss on the cheek and a cheery wave and suddenly melancholy reared its ugly head. After years of saying goodbyes when at sea one would expect to be inured by now but it simply isn’t true.
In the evening I prepared chicken arrabiata for Joan and myself (hence why I never completed this post) and unexpectedly Anna turned up for a shower. She had forgotten to bring conditioner and unbelievably asked me if I had any! As I keep my hair short enough to not even need a comb the likelihood of me using conditioner was always going to be remote. As always she was starving so I had to offer her food as long as she could wait until Joan came. It was a shame I hadn’t had notice because I could have diced another chicken breast but I overcompensated by doing double the pasta I needed. The girls seemed to enjoy it.
Breakfast and shopping run again this morning with Joan, when I bought Monday’s starter. It was going to be smoked mackerel bought online but none of the shops could guarantee I got it in time for the meal so I plumped instead for a very 70s UK favourite - the prawn cocktail. Tomorrow I must ask the other two ‘Erberts how many McD coke glasses they have so at least I might be able to concoct reasonable facsimiles. Actually I don’t need to - I just went and checked to see how many I still have (I gave a fair few away to students) and as luck would have it I have exactly six left. Perfect.
Tomorrow will be a lazy day.
Thought I should make a start during my lunch break seeing as I haven’t had much impetus since last time!
Firstly, the bank still hasn’t called to tell me what an idiot I am.
On Monday I did go to town and breakfast (they had bacon that time) and something odd occurred in McDonald’s. I had just finished eating and was sitting musing whilst finishing my coffee when a man in McD uniform plonked two fruit pies down in front of me saying, “These are for you.”
I asked why and he produced a packet of cigarettes and asked if I smoked. I told him yes but only cigars and he suggested we go out for a smoke (McDonald’s is one of the few places you can’t smoke inside in China). We went out, lit up and he explained the pies were to apologise for all the mistakes they have made in the past with my meals.
He then gave me an accolade I never expected or indeed I am sure I wanted but he informed me I was their best customer and he didn’t want to lose me. As manager he felt he should show me some preference! This news seemed to miff Kevin for he probably goes more often than I do, however usually he only goes for a coffee - I often take Joan and we both have breakfast. I suppose this “honour” may be beneficial if it means I will always get jam for my muffins!
That night I used the last of my mustard and produced what I think was a damned good macaroni cheese - there was even enough to give a dish of it to Ollivier to cook for him and his wife. I also had a first in that I actually ate twice as much as Joan! Giving some to Ollivier was my good deed and hopefully helped his wife Coco (henceforth to be known as Penelope Pitstop) following a road traffic accident she had in which she was clearly at fault, given that the other driver (unusually for Chinese drivers) hadn’t cut the corner when turning and Penelope hit him on his side of the road, she having gone extremely wide. Apparently there was space for three cars but she still managed it. Luckily damage was minor and nobody was injured. It may be a while before she gets behind the wheel again.
We have had some awful rain lately (thankfully today we have sun but the forecast for Monday looks hideous) and tomorrow is Dragon Boat Day so the students have a long weekend. Makes no difference to me of course. This week Kevin and Ollivier completed all their exams whilst I won’t start mine until next week. It’s not them trying to squeeze another fortnight’s holiday, rather they will have class parties with their lot as a farewell. To be honest I would do the same and doubtless there will be a few tears shed, possibly not only by the students. They have taught here for six and three years respectively and granted, Ollivier made the decision to leave but Kevin didn’t. I can guarantee when it happens to me I will be a train wreck.
One of my bathroom lights packed up last night (again) and the alternative in the evenings is to use the halogen lamps which heat the bathroom. Not ideal given that it is summer and in the high twenties. As a result tomorrow morning’s breakfast run with Joan will have to be on the bike so we can find somewhere that sells replacements. I have started using the bus more lately simply because the centre of town now frightens me, in particular the roundabout where I broke my pelvis. I would take a circuitous route except that Ollivier informed me of where he got the last bulb and the road runs off the roundabout.
Saturday 20th 2130
Later yesterday afternoon as I was leaving for the office I met Ollivier with little Hadrian coming out of our building. I hadn’t realised it was the day he was taking Penelope and the lad to Hefei to get the train to go to her parents. I knew he would be alone for Monday’s final western meal and also knew that he would be fetching the in-laws, wife and two kids back after school broke up before leaving for good. What I didn’t know was that in a week he will bring the wife and the other son back but not Hadrian. When I said that he would be returning again after that he said yes, but they will just be passing through. So that was probably the last time I will ever see the boy. He gave me a little kiss on the cheek and a cheery wave and suddenly melancholy reared its ugly head. After years of saying goodbyes when at sea one would expect to be inured by now but it simply isn’t true.
In the evening I prepared chicken arrabiata for Joan and myself (hence why I never completed this post) and unexpectedly Anna turned up for a shower. She had forgotten to bring conditioner and unbelievably asked me if I had any! As I keep my hair short enough to not even need a comb the likelihood of me using conditioner was always going to be remote. As always she was starving so I had to offer her food as long as she could wait until Joan came. It was a shame I hadn’t had notice because I could have diced another chicken breast but I overcompensated by doing double the pasta I needed. The girls seemed to enjoy it.
Breakfast and shopping run again this morning with Joan, when I bought Monday’s starter. It was going to be smoked mackerel bought online but none of the shops could guarantee I got it in time for the meal so I plumped instead for a very 70s UK favourite - the prawn cocktail. Tomorrow I must ask the other two ‘Erberts how many McD coke glasses they have so at least I might be able to concoct reasonable facsimiles. Actually I don’t need to - I just went and checked to see how many I still have (I gave a fair few away to students) and as luck would have it I have exactly six left. Perfect.
Tomorrow will be a lazy day.
Sunday, 14 June 2015
Sunday 14th June, 2015 1800
After class on Friday afternoon Joan and I rode to town to the bank about the person who has been filching money from my account. To be fair, even though the banking rules and system here are labyrinthine, any bank I have entered for help has always bent over to help the foreigner and this occasion was no different.
A printout was obtained of all transactions and two suspicious ones were identified - one in April (when I thought I should have had 1,000y more when I went to Huainan) and the other early this month. The April one was certainly suspicious, for on that day it was alleged I withdrew 1,000y from the China Postal Savings bank and then hours later withdrew the same amount on campus. Why on earth would I do that, especially when I have never been into that brand of bank to withdraw money? Besides, my bank is straight across the road from them.
CCTV footage was requested and we were told they would get it on Monday and call Joan with their findings.
Teed off at the fact someone was ripping me off (I changed the PIN on my card) I then investigated these withdrawals further. The best way was to prove I couldn’t have taken the money as hopefully I was nowhere near either the bank or campus at the time. That’s where I thought the blog might come in handy.
Well it did that, the April withdrawal was a day I had completely banished from my thoughts, given that it was the day I took Pepsi to the vets and she died that night. It all came back. My card wouldn’t swipe in their PDQ terminal and I had had to go downstairs to an ATM just outside the ground floor door. I can only assume it belongs to the China Postal Bank. And yes, I withdrew 1,000y and then later quite probably I withdrew more on campus.
I have that sinking feeling that I am going to look a complete prat tomorrow when they call Joan and tell her the thief is none other than yours truly. Joan has been coached on how to deliver my abject apologies to them - thank God they never asked us to go back to the branch to see the footage. In fact I feel (quite rightly) a complete idiot and if only it was possible to print out mini statements (as Joan can do with the same bank) none of this would have arisen. What a dilph.
Yesterday was a McBreakfast and shopping, I have two pork steaks for us tonight and thought Monday I might make macaroni cheese but annoyingly RT Mart never had any bacon. I will probably try again in the morning, good excuse for another breakfast.
So far today I have been rather lazy. I stayed in bed until almost eleven (mind you I never turned in until three) and then spent some hours window shopping online for travel plans in the summer. I did though give the bathroom a going over when I showered, Zorro leaves fur all over the toilet and cistern and he is rather fond of sleeping in the sink any time of the day.
We will be hosting our last Western Wednesday next Monday and I discarded my idea of trying something new and spectacular on the basis that I really don’t want to cock the very last one with present colleagues up. Accordingly Joan has just ordered what I need online for bangers, mash and beans - unless I burn the sausages I can’t go wrong! I am stuck for ideas for easy starters though but I am sure I will think of something,
I nearly passed out late yesterday afternoon when an email arrived with a proofreading job. It has been three months since I have had anything so it was most welcome and I hope more come in, especially over the summer holidays.
I have also been asked by the small school in town if I would go to summer camp with them. My initial thought was “After last year where I starved., no way!” but this time it is Hefei. The owner sent me the details and it will be in an ecological village. I agreed provided I don’t have to share a room with kids again (noisy little bleeders). Although the food will be Chinese I am certain it will be better than the slop served up last year. Plus it doesn’t look as if there are loads of hills to climb just to get to your room. Four days and three nights, volunteering of course but a free mini break. Provided they have army instructors to tire the kids out all I will have to do is be there.
After class on Friday afternoon Joan and I rode to town to the bank about the person who has been filching money from my account. To be fair, even though the banking rules and system here are labyrinthine, any bank I have entered for help has always bent over to help the foreigner and this occasion was no different.
A printout was obtained of all transactions and two suspicious ones were identified - one in April (when I thought I should have had 1,000y more when I went to Huainan) and the other early this month. The April one was certainly suspicious, for on that day it was alleged I withdrew 1,000y from the China Postal Savings bank and then hours later withdrew the same amount on campus. Why on earth would I do that, especially when I have never been into that brand of bank to withdraw money? Besides, my bank is straight across the road from them.
CCTV footage was requested and we were told they would get it on Monday and call Joan with their findings.
Teed off at the fact someone was ripping me off (I changed the PIN on my card) I then investigated these withdrawals further. The best way was to prove I couldn’t have taken the money as hopefully I was nowhere near either the bank or campus at the time. That’s where I thought the blog might come in handy.
Well it did that, the April withdrawal was a day I had completely banished from my thoughts, given that it was the day I took Pepsi to the vets and she died that night. It all came back. My card wouldn’t swipe in their PDQ terminal and I had had to go downstairs to an ATM just outside the ground floor door. I can only assume it belongs to the China Postal Bank. And yes, I withdrew 1,000y and then later quite probably I withdrew more on campus.
I have that sinking feeling that I am going to look a complete prat tomorrow when they call Joan and tell her the thief is none other than yours truly. Joan has been coached on how to deliver my abject apologies to them - thank God they never asked us to go back to the branch to see the footage. In fact I feel (quite rightly) a complete idiot and if only it was possible to print out mini statements (as Joan can do with the same bank) none of this would have arisen. What a dilph.
Yesterday was a McBreakfast and shopping, I have two pork steaks for us tonight and thought Monday I might make macaroni cheese but annoyingly RT Mart never had any bacon. I will probably try again in the morning, good excuse for another breakfast.
So far today I have been rather lazy. I stayed in bed until almost eleven (mind you I never turned in until three) and then spent some hours window shopping online for travel plans in the summer. I did though give the bathroom a going over when I showered, Zorro leaves fur all over the toilet and cistern and he is rather fond of sleeping in the sink any time of the day.
We will be hosting our last Western Wednesday next Monday and I discarded my idea of trying something new and spectacular on the basis that I really don’t want to cock the very last one with present colleagues up. Accordingly Joan has just ordered what I need online for bangers, mash and beans - unless I burn the sausages I can’t go wrong! I am stuck for ideas for easy starters though but I am sure I will think of something,
I nearly passed out late yesterday afternoon when an email arrived with a proofreading job. It has been three months since I have had anything so it was most welcome and I hope more come in, especially over the summer holidays.
I have also been asked by the small school in town if I would go to summer camp with them. My initial thought was “After last year where I starved., no way!” but this time it is Hefei. The owner sent me the details and it will be in an ecological village. I agreed provided I don’t have to share a room with kids again (noisy little bleeders). Although the food will be Chinese I am certain it will be better than the slop served up last year. Plus it doesn’t look as if there are loads of hills to climb just to get to your room. Four days and three nights, volunteering of course but a free mini break. Provided they have army instructors to tire the kids out all I will have to do is be there.
Thursday, 11 June 2015
Monday 8th June, 2015 1730
Besides torrential depressing rain, not a lot has happened since the last entry. There was an English Corner on Friday night which was conducted entirely in Chinese, French, Korean and Japanese so as you can imagine, I sat there like a lemon. I did however immediately spot the error the students had made on the blackboard. You may be able to see it in the photos.
I got stuck again in the office this afternoon when the heavens yet again opened just when I was about to leave. The solution was to have another bottle and wait until it died down a little. That of course left me with a bit of a scramble to start preparing tonight’s meal (at which Rita will be the last “wife” to actually attend - she has asked for her evening class off) of salmon steaks, new potatoes, peas (both minted) and dill and lemon sauce. Simple but hugely expensive, it probably cost me about 300y. Not having to cook and buying wine instead would be a far more economical situation for me! But then I quite enjoy watching others appreciating what I prepared.
Don’t faint - Kevin has actually made the entrée! Ok it’s only a salad but apparently he has made home made mayonnaise. I did quip that with raw eggs he is in danger of poisoning us but I hope not. Ollivier has made a new dessert which is top secret but he did let slip earlier that it was a tart. I just hope this time I can eat some of it.
Thursday 11th 1840
Not my fault Guv!
Well the meal went ahead as planned and for the foreigners it was rather pleasant. The Chinese are proud of saying they eat anything with legs except the table and anything that flies except a plane. In general I have found this to be true.
Fresh salmon steaks however, would appear to be the exception. Celestine (Ollivier’s guest) in fairness ate all hers, Rita (mine) made a good fist of it although it was obvious she wasn’t keen but Vivi plainly disliked it, opining that she would have preferred it to be spicy. Some you win, some you lose and I won’t lose sleep over serving up a delicately herbed main course fit to grace any table.
I would have completed this entry on Tuesday but for the fact that when I woke up we had no power, ergo no internet either. A campus substation had gone up in smoke, knocking out half the campus (Sod’s law stated that it had to be the half the foreign teachers live in) and so at lunchtime I went to town. If there is one thing I hate it is leaving home without showering but I had no choice and it’s not exactly cool here at the moment either.
Kevin was teaching at the time it occurred and the station is below our teaching block so he had a grandstand view of the fire appliances tackling it and evidently a good whiff of the stench an electrical fire gives off. It took them from 0900 to getting on for 1800 to repair the damage so all I cared about was having a shower and bugger the blog - I would finish it Wednesday.
Which of course I would have done if I had internet!
After my classes I couldn’t get online. I checked with Ollivier’s wife Coco who had no problems and went through the usual routine of rebooting both router and laptop to no avail. To say I wasn’t pleased would be an understatement and it took me over two hours to finally get connected. By that time I had almost lost the will to live, let alone blog.
Today was a much nicer day until just now. Just the one class this afternoon where for a treat I showed half a film after we covered the unit and then derived great satisfaction from the looks of horror on their faces when I informed them that the exam questions would be concerning the Wild China BBC programmes I have shown them and the films they have seen. I have let it happen but some of the students have taken the liberty of sleeping or watching something else on their mobile phones and so will have no idea about the answers to the questions. Some will learn a lesson the hard way.
Additionally today’s class, when given the sheet to enter their details, rather than putting their name and number next to the pre-printed one, simply entered them in the next free space. I further informed them that only two students were in the correct space and so as I have no intention of searching through 31 numbers I will simply allocate marks to the student number they put their mark beside - meaning good students will get poor student’s marks and vice versa. Methinks next week a numerical list will be presented to me in class!
I may have mentioned that last month (I think) I made a mistake in calculating what my bank balance was, to the tune of 1,000y to my detriment. Fair enough, I accepted maybe I was going mad. Tonight though I just went to see if we had been paid early this month to save a trip to the cash point tomorrow. Again I am 1.000y poorer than I KNOW I should be!
For some reason for months now my card has not allowed me to view statements at the machine but until now it wasn’t important. Apart from me only two people know my PIN and for those who believe me to be foolish please bear in mind I was bed-ridden for a time and barely able to to get to the bathroom, let alone the ATM for some while so I had little choice but to divulge it in order to be able to pay for daily necessities. One of those I trust implicitly and should be able to do the same with the other but sadly suspicions are now cast.
Joan and I are going to the bank tomorrow after classes finish. Last month could have been me going potty even though I didn’t think so at the time, this month there is no way because I checked my balance and knew exactly what surplus I would have before payday tomorrow. I am not bloody happy.
Besides torrential depressing rain, not a lot has happened since the last entry. There was an English Corner on Friday night which was conducted entirely in Chinese, French, Korean and Japanese so as you can imagine, I sat there like a lemon. I did however immediately spot the error the students had made on the blackboard. You may be able to see it in the photos.
I got stuck again in the office this afternoon when the heavens yet again opened just when I was about to leave. The solution was to have another bottle and wait until it died down a little. That of course left me with a bit of a scramble to start preparing tonight’s meal (at which Rita will be the last “wife” to actually attend - she has asked for her evening class off) of salmon steaks, new potatoes, peas (both minted) and dill and lemon sauce. Simple but hugely expensive, it probably cost me about 300y. Not having to cook and buying wine instead would be a far more economical situation for me! But then I quite enjoy watching others appreciating what I prepared.
Don’t faint - Kevin has actually made the entrée! Ok it’s only a salad but apparently he has made home made mayonnaise. I did quip that with raw eggs he is in danger of poisoning us but I hope not. Ollivier has made a new dessert which is top secret but he did let slip earlier that it was a tart. I just hope this time I can eat some of it.
Thursday 11th 1840
Not my fault Guv!
Well the meal went ahead as planned and for the foreigners it was rather pleasant. The Chinese are proud of saying they eat anything with legs except the table and anything that flies except a plane. In general I have found this to be true.
Fresh salmon steaks however, would appear to be the exception. Celestine (Ollivier’s guest) in fairness ate all hers, Rita (mine) made a good fist of it although it was obvious she wasn’t keen but Vivi plainly disliked it, opining that she would have preferred it to be spicy. Some you win, some you lose and I won’t lose sleep over serving up a delicately herbed main course fit to grace any table.
I would have completed this entry on Tuesday but for the fact that when I woke up we had no power, ergo no internet either. A campus substation had gone up in smoke, knocking out half the campus (Sod’s law stated that it had to be the half the foreign teachers live in) and so at lunchtime I went to town. If there is one thing I hate it is leaving home without showering but I had no choice and it’s not exactly cool here at the moment either.
Kevin was teaching at the time it occurred and the station is below our teaching block so he had a grandstand view of the fire appliances tackling it and evidently a good whiff of the stench an electrical fire gives off. It took them from 0900 to getting on for 1800 to repair the damage so all I cared about was having a shower and bugger the blog - I would finish it Wednesday.
Which of course I would have done if I had internet!
After my classes I couldn’t get online. I checked with Ollivier’s wife Coco who had no problems and went through the usual routine of rebooting both router and laptop to no avail. To say I wasn’t pleased would be an understatement and it took me over two hours to finally get connected. By that time I had almost lost the will to live, let alone blog.
Today was a much nicer day until just now. Just the one class this afternoon where for a treat I showed half a film after we covered the unit and then derived great satisfaction from the looks of horror on their faces when I informed them that the exam questions would be concerning the Wild China BBC programmes I have shown them and the films they have seen. I have let it happen but some of the students have taken the liberty of sleeping or watching something else on their mobile phones and so will have no idea about the answers to the questions. Some will learn a lesson the hard way.
Additionally today’s class, when given the sheet to enter their details, rather than putting their name and number next to the pre-printed one, simply entered them in the next free space. I further informed them that only two students were in the correct space and so as I have no intention of searching through 31 numbers I will simply allocate marks to the student number they put their mark beside - meaning good students will get poor student’s marks and vice versa. Methinks next week a numerical list will be presented to me in class!
I may have mentioned that last month (I think) I made a mistake in calculating what my bank balance was, to the tune of 1,000y to my detriment. Fair enough, I accepted maybe I was going mad. Tonight though I just went to see if we had been paid early this month to save a trip to the cash point tomorrow. Again I am 1.000y poorer than I KNOW I should be!
For some reason for months now my card has not allowed me to view statements at the machine but until now it wasn’t important. Apart from me only two people know my PIN and for those who believe me to be foolish please bear in mind I was bed-ridden for a time and barely able to to get to the bathroom, let alone the ATM for some while so I had little choice but to divulge it in order to be able to pay for daily necessities. One of those I trust implicitly and should be able to do the same with the other but sadly suspicions are now cast.
Joan and I are going to the bank tomorrow after classes finish. Last month could have been me going potty even though I didn’t think so at the time, this month there is no way because I checked my balance and knew exactly what surplus I would have before payday tomorrow. I am not bloody happy.
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Monday 1st June, 2015 1300
Last night saw possibly the nicest meal I have eaten in a long time. Simple salmon, cheese sauce, new potatoes and PROPER peas. The latter were very kindly donated in a tin by Ollivier, mind you although I was expecting small ones, these were minuscule - I have never seen peas that small. A really good way to use up the last of the new potatoes (there are still a lot left cold in the pan but I will make sure they aren’t wasted) and as I reckon we have two western meals left before it’s all over, I am thinking of pushing the boat out next Monday and having that as our main course. I have found whole salmon online for 100y (it would cost double that in RT Mart and for much less meat) so the plan could well be a goer.
This morning I decided to rise early for breakfast downtown and shop for ingredients for cottage pie. I thought I might make three lots so Ollivier and Kevin can finish off one in their own ovens and feed whosoever they please. I took the bus and we had only just set off when I received a call from Prof Fang. The automated announcements made it extremely difficult to make out what she was saying and all I could think was “don’t tell me I am out of a job just 6 weeks before term ends!”
What it was about though was that it had come to her attention that I have a “wife” in each class. This has clearly arisen because some student has gossiped about my dedication of yesterday’s song “Court of King Caractacus” to all my “wives”. Did I have a wife in each class she asked? Yes and I have had so for the past five years. Chinese girls are very innocent. I know but you have to realise they are chosen for role playing with me in class when I am trying to illustrate a point.
Ok, I also heard you invite students to your home for dinner?
Yes, every fortnight Kevin, Ollivier and I invite a student each and we treat them to a western meal which we cook - we TOLD you that two years ago.
Whilst it is flattering to think that the management believe I am capable of luring beautiful young students into my bed, the reality of course is that they regard me more as a father figure, or in many cases, a grandfather figure! I don’t give a flying fox if rumours circulate about me provided the powers that be are sensible enough to know they are precisely that and I don’t want to lose a job for something I have never done!
The bus trip back after my expedition left me once again exasperated with the people here. As of today the bus fares have doubled to 2y because the aircon has been turned on. Today it has been 30C and quite humid so it was most welcome. But some of the passengers opened the damned windows. It wasn’t so bad for me as I was right at the back of the bus yet not a soul said a word to the people by the open window. Had I been a bit more steady on my pins (approaching them from my seat on a moving bus didn’t appeal) I might have gone and closed it but instead I just observed.
I shall grab a siesta later before going to the “office” and tonight I don’t have to cook, for Ollivier made pizzas although by his own admission, the crust is too thin. One day hopefully he will take my advice and make bread dough in his bread machine and use that because from the look of those in my fridge, they will be more akin to tarts.
Wednesday 3rd 1245
Why didn’t I finish this entry off yesterday, you may ask?
Well I had intended to. Having spent all afternoon making three batches of chilli cottage pie ready for everyone to take home and cook at leisure, I decided to take a break in the office. I delivered Ollivier’s pie and suggested we go for a drink. This elicited the immediate response from Coco “Nooooo!” Upon pointing out that I had just donated their dinner and had spent all afternoon slaving in the kitchen, she relented but he was not released from her custody until an hour later, so he arrived just as I was thinking of leaving.
Now summer is here, flies abound, and I spend a lot of time in the office making it a no-fly zone. Such was the case last night and I was so intent on spotting the little buggers I failed to notice the gathering storm clouds. As I exited a few spits of rain fell, so I took the cape out from under the saddle and started to put it on the bike. Before I even fitted it over the handlebars the heavens opened. I rapidly finished covering the bike and hastily fled back inside, damp.
Hoping it wouldn’t last long, I sat and waited. And waited. Eventually I came to the conclusion it wasn’t going to abate any time soon so decided I had to brave it. On arrival back home I had to change my clothes because I wasn’t just wet, I was thoroughly drenched. Hence the lack of impetus to blog further.
The chilli pie was good though and there’s still plenty left, although I may make quesadillas tonight and freeze the leftovers from yesterday. The next event is the French “English Corner” on Friday night. It should be riveting seeing as it will be conducted entirely in French and Chinese!
Last night saw possibly the nicest meal I have eaten in a long time. Simple salmon, cheese sauce, new potatoes and PROPER peas. The latter were very kindly donated in a tin by Ollivier, mind you although I was expecting small ones, these were minuscule - I have never seen peas that small. A really good way to use up the last of the new potatoes (there are still a lot left cold in the pan but I will make sure they aren’t wasted) and as I reckon we have two western meals left before it’s all over, I am thinking of pushing the boat out next Monday and having that as our main course. I have found whole salmon online for 100y (it would cost double that in RT Mart and for much less meat) so the plan could well be a goer.
This morning I decided to rise early for breakfast downtown and shop for ingredients for cottage pie. I thought I might make three lots so Ollivier and Kevin can finish off one in their own ovens and feed whosoever they please. I took the bus and we had only just set off when I received a call from Prof Fang. The automated announcements made it extremely difficult to make out what she was saying and all I could think was “don’t tell me I am out of a job just 6 weeks before term ends!”
What it was about though was that it had come to her attention that I have a “wife” in each class. This has clearly arisen because some student has gossiped about my dedication of yesterday’s song “Court of King Caractacus” to all my “wives”. Did I have a wife in each class she asked? Yes and I have had so for the past five years. Chinese girls are very innocent. I know but you have to realise they are chosen for role playing with me in class when I am trying to illustrate a point.
Ok, I also heard you invite students to your home for dinner?
Yes, every fortnight Kevin, Ollivier and I invite a student each and we treat them to a western meal which we cook - we TOLD you that two years ago.
Whilst it is flattering to think that the management believe I am capable of luring beautiful young students into my bed, the reality of course is that they regard me more as a father figure, or in many cases, a grandfather figure! I don’t give a flying fox if rumours circulate about me provided the powers that be are sensible enough to know they are precisely that and I don’t want to lose a job for something I have never done!
The bus trip back after my expedition left me once again exasperated with the people here. As of today the bus fares have doubled to 2y because the aircon has been turned on. Today it has been 30C and quite humid so it was most welcome. But some of the passengers opened the damned windows. It wasn’t so bad for me as I was right at the back of the bus yet not a soul said a word to the people by the open window. Had I been a bit more steady on my pins (approaching them from my seat on a moving bus didn’t appeal) I might have gone and closed it but instead I just observed.
I shall grab a siesta later before going to the “office” and tonight I don’t have to cook, for Ollivier made pizzas although by his own admission, the crust is too thin. One day hopefully he will take my advice and make bread dough in his bread machine and use that because from the look of those in my fridge, they will be more akin to tarts.
Wednesday 3rd 1245
Why didn’t I finish this entry off yesterday, you may ask?
Well I had intended to. Having spent all afternoon making three batches of chilli cottage pie ready for everyone to take home and cook at leisure, I decided to take a break in the office. I delivered Ollivier’s pie and suggested we go for a drink. This elicited the immediate response from Coco “Nooooo!” Upon pointing out that I had just donated their dinner and had spent all afternoon slaving in the kitchen, she relented but he was not released from her custody until an hour later, so he arrived just as I was thinking of leaving.
Now summer is here, flies abound, and I spend a lot of time in the office making it a no-fly zone. Such was the case last night and I was so intent on spotting the little buggers I failed to notice the gathering storm clouds. As I exited a few spits of rain fell, so I took the cape out from under the saddle and started to put it on the bike. Before I even fitted it over the handlebars the heavens opened. I rapidly finished covering the bike and hastily fled back inside, damp.
Hoping it wouldn’t last long, I sat and waited. And waited. Eventually I came to the conclusion it wasn’t going to abate any time soon so decided I had to brave it. On arrival back home I had to change my clothes because I wasn’t just wet, I was thoroughly drenched. Hence the lack of impetus to blog further.
The chilli pie was good though and there’s still plenty left, although I may make quesadillas tonight and freeze the leftovers from yesterday. The next event is the French “English Corner” on Friday night. It should be riveting seeing as it will be conducted entirely in French and Chinese!