Saturday, 27 April 2019


Saturday 27th April, 2019 1730

It's been a bit of a mixed bag of a week. The first Wednesday class I left after fifteen minutes, exasperated and frustrated because they sat dumbly the entire time, not one of them willing to answer the simple question, “Which days do we have off next week?”

Had there been a possibility they may not have known then it would have been different but they knew full well, it was me who was unsure. And they are the worst of the classes anyway. Should make for an interesting start when I see them again a week on Wednesday!

The afternoon class suffered a similar fate but to a lesser extent. The cause of my ire? Two girls sitting at the front of the class started giggling while I was addressing the room. Considering what I was saying wasn't the remotest bit humorous, I knew something was amiss. Then I saw the shared earphones they were using to watch and listen to something on a phone behind their books.

I requested I be given the phone and the owner simply kept her head cast down and never budged. I then said she either gave me the phone or she could leave the class. No response whatsoever. I could hardly resort to turning into PC326 and dragging her bodily from the seat and after the morning's episode I had really had enough.

I dismissed the class and informed them whose fault it was together with my reason. I then went to the toilet, wondering why I had bothered turning up for work that day. When I returned and on my way to my office on the floor above, I was met by the two girls outside the classroom. Apologies were given, I was entreated to return and did so. Peer pressure had clearly worked in this case and I never mentioned the incident further.

On Thursday you may recall I had volunteered to give a presentation for Jody on main campus. She had advised it was to initially start at 1000 but then it was brought forward to 0930. I arrived just before nine to find she herself wasn't even on campus. Even worse, she turned up at 0945 and confessed it was in fact starting at the original time of ten. Obviously she wanted to make sure I wasn't late and hadn't heard about British punctuality!

The morning itself went very well indeed, it seemed all the students had at least a slightly higher than basic level of English, which was a relief to say the least. I finished my hour and another guest speaker, Ace from the Philippines who appears to wear a maroon Texan stetson everywhere (including indoors), took over for the next hour. He has been in China for thirteen years but get this – all of them in Lanzhou with his Philippino wife! I think he teaches at a high school nearby.

And I thought I was loud!! He was twice as vocal as me! While he was commanding the stage it gave rise to the opportunity for Brenda to bring my medical expenses reimbursement, which was much needed I assure you!

When she did so, she asked me if I had signed a contract with the agricultural university. Odd question, for that cannot happen until I get a release letter from this school but then the reason became clear. Was I decided on changing schools? Well, the decision had not been mine, it had been Zhang's. She now says she wants to speak to him to have him change his mind and increase the salary! I said I was “open” and remained non-committal.

I don't want the upheaval but I am tired of teaching kids with hardly any English. What I do want however is somewhere I can probably be guaranteed three more years and if Zhang has done it once, what's to stop him doing the same next year? It will be interesting to see what transpires because if they do ask me to stay on enhanced rates I will demand a three year guarantee. If I let down the Ag Uni then surely (and quite rightly) they will not consider me again if this place disposes of me. And no doubt word will spread to the other universities in town.

After the presentations Jody treated us to lunch at what turned out to be a lamb restaurant. I hate lamb! They did though have a really nice dish of gigantic prawns prepared in a sauce I have never encountered, they were so huge I was stuffed after four of them and ended up with a doggy bag. So stuffed in fact I didn't want to eat that evening.

Friday was a complete contrast to Wednesday, relatively active students (ok the afternoon class seems to become ever more diminished as the weeks pass but those that turn up do take part) and a decent day of teaching. I did go for lunch at McDonald's and had a new menu item, it came in a black and gold box (and was the most expensive item on the menu) and was a large single patty with bacon, cheese and salad on top. I couldn't even finish the burger let alone the chips.

Whether overeating was the cause I know not but last night and so far today I have had gut-ache. I thought perhaps a relapse but this time it was different so I am hoping I simply ingested more than I should over two days. The old appetite is nothing like it used to be.

I am hoping fervently I will feel fine tomorrow, I have the dinner for Alice, Annie and Audrey (the Three As!!) and I am pushing the boat out with minestrone, fresh salmon/pasta/potato and cream bake followed by the strawberry fool complemented by mulberries. The strawberries are starting to get a bit ropey so maybe they will be out of season soon.

Tonight I am taking a chance on a bacon and fried egg sandwich. I just baked a loaf with my “Goldfish brand” flour and without trying it, I think it may be as good as that I used to make in Chizhou.

For now, I am off until next Sunday for the Labour holiday, lazy days ahead!

Tuesday, 23 April 2019


Tuesday 23rd April, 2019 1030

Yesterday was Marlow Monday and I kept it relatively simple, or so I thought! The simple part was a chilli & rice with a garlic baguette. What was supposed to be equally simple was my first attempt at making American chocolate brownies.

The recipe looked to be falling off a log personified and so it proved to be. However the recipes never tell you it takes hours to clean the goo off the mixer and bowls! I even managed to get the perfect combination of slightly crusty top and moist sub-layer. Served with my guests' preferred choice of chocolate ice cream, the remaining slabs at the end of the meal were snaffled and placed in containers or foil and spirited away with them when they left. With a pound of sugar in the mix perhaps it was for the best they only left me one piece!

Unfortunately, during the meal, Alice gave me the terrific news that my wine-soaked laptop had now had the motherboard replaced but to no avail. The only remedy would now be to replace everything bar the actual casing and that, as you may well imagine, would cost more than buying a new one.

I have asked her to enquire, more in hope than expectation, if they can by any means recover the information from the hard disk but I fear the worst. I do have a dated back-up on an external hard drive, dated because of the worry that restoration from it would disable Windows on any new set, seeing as the old one screwed up on a system reset.

It is just a royal pain to lose some of the stuff, although I have most of my film library stored on USB sticks that I take to class. With the expense of buying a new laptop and my impending relocation, my summer plans are in tatters. Singapore will have to wait a year. I still hope to squeeze in a few days in Shanghai if I can though.

After dinner, despite swearing that I would never do it again, and because it was a nice warm evening, I went to English corner for an hour. Eli and Annie still refuse to sing but the former is very talented on the bagpipes and choked a few tunes out of the bladder, much to the delight of the students. I obliged by getting the assembled gathering organised and singing the chorus of “Botany Bay” and was highly rewarded when it actually went well.

I didn't stay until the end and as anticipated, my walk back home was a trial. When I am certain my innards have fully healed (according to my research that should be in fifteen days time – that will conclude four weeks medication) I may look at restarting the NSAIDs with perhaps ongoing reduced dosages of PPIs but at 103¥ per seven-day supply they alone will cost around double the price of all my other drugs combined!

The joys of advancing years!

As I heard someone say once, no point in bemoaning getting old, you can't do anything about it!

Saturday, 20 April 2019


Saturday 20th April, 2019 1000

Wednesday was my first work for a fortnight.

I presented myself at the school bus pick-up point far too early but as it was a warm day I enjoyed a leisurely smoke whilst waiting. Then another. Until it became apparent Schumacker had forgotten about me. Again.

That meant taking a taxi and this broke the camel's back. I sent a text to Janet asking her to tell the driver never to call for me, ever. I would far rather pay 2¥ and guarantee getting to work than take a chance on him actually turning up and then being treated to a white-knuckle ride. Or paying 30-40¥ for a cab.

With a bad start to my day I was in bleak mood by the time I got to my office. That mood became even darker when I discovered the lock tumblers had loosened and it took ten minutes to actually insert my key. It wasn't going well.

At 1830 I breathed a sigh of relief and took the bus to Five Streams. At the time I arrive home on Wednesdays there's no way I want to cook so the routine now is a chicken curry in Dicos. After queueing for fifteen minutes, when I ordered I was told “mayo”. That, I thought, just rounded off the day I had been having. I walked out, I didn't want wings or chicken burgers and I had really been looking forward to a curry. They are nothing special, typical Chinese Ruby with yellow sauce but scoffable and the steamed rice fills a hole. Dinner that day was destined to be some fruit loaf and some M&Ms – the Smarties type. I like the peanut ones but they hurt now where I have gaps that teeth used to occupy!

But the day was done and consigned to history and best forgotten, was it not? It was dark by the time I got back and I went into the kitchen to get a glass for my wine. As I slid back the door I was immediately struck by how warm it was in there. I had only left a gas burner on after I poached a couple of eggs to put on my bubble'n'squeak the night before! Twenty-four hours it had been lovingly cremating the leftover albumen, encrusting the inside of the pan with industrial strength residue I am still labouring to chisel off. My day was then definitely complete.

Yesterday I fared considerably better, I even had that curry on the way home even though I could have cooked had I wanted.

But then after eight I received a phone call which left me wondering whether I am either an idiot or a mug.

Jody was the caller. She said her campus has no lessons during the coming week but they have activities instead. She has been asked to organise various things for one of her classes and the students are studying to become teachers of Chinese to foreign students – basically what I do but in reverse. Monday and Tuesday are already mapped out but am I free Wednesday, Thursday or Friday? Would I go to her campus and give a presentation? Where is her campus, which university? I didn't know at that point but I do now - it's OUR main campus!

So I have agreed to spend my Thursday morning making a speech to students who don't speak English, in my own free time, for no extra money and for the school which, in three months time is firing me!!! Maybe I am both the above.........

Tuesday, 16 April 2019


Tuesday 16th April, 2019 1600

Ok, back in business!

I went on Monday to see if my laptop could be fixed but when I got to where I had bought it everything was empty and locked. A security guard saw I was carrying a computer and directed me around the corner.

I have no idea if it was the same shop, probably not, but they said they could probably fix it (motherboard replacement but to my suspicion no mention of a new keyboard, which had been immersed in red wine) and it would take a fortnight. Having by then soldiered on with the ancient relic I am glad I never threw out for nigh on three weeks, another two were unthinkable.

I ended up buying a new set and sending the other off for repair and with a little bargaining (providing only the motherboard is the problem) I forked out slightly less than the original one cost. I may well end up with a good spare! And this one has Windows activated.

Anyone who has ever bought a new one will know it's a pain to download and instal everything again plus cancel all the “make this your home page” stuff and the like, so that took a while.

Then came the task of downloading all the iPlayer programmes I had missed along with those I hadn't watched before Winegate. I am still downloading. It is important as we have the Test For English Majors (TEM4) taking place this Saturday and you may recall that come 0800 the school internet is closed down until 1700 or later. I intend to have plenty of viewing available otherwise I may have to do housework!

Annie and Alice came for dinner last night, it was a lazy one on my part with shop-bought spring rolls and samosas but I did for the first time make cream of mushroom soup. Considering how few ingredients went into it even I was impressed with it. That went straight into my little black book containing my culinary repertoire!

Regarding the job at Gansu Agricultural University (yes, it is called a university, much as I suspected), I finally had an answer from the FAO Ivy. I half suspected she may have been away travelling but couldn't be sure if either my old set was deceiving me or they had withdrawn their interest seeing as I asked many questions.

She had indeed been away on “business” (I assume she means school business) and she answered a couple of key queries. After an exchange of three or four emails apiece she said “thank you for accepting our job offer”. I have done no such thing! I have though now ceased actively looking for a position, the terms are considerably enhanced compared to here and age is not a barrier – most important.

After dinner and against my better judgement and state of sobriety I went with the girls to English corner, first time in many months. All freshmen who had never laid eyes on me, bright eyed and bushy tailed – I DO miss teaching English majors. It took place outdoors and the weather now is becoming warmer so it suited me, I could smoke. When the break came, meaning a couple of students sang songs and then they invited first Eli and then Annie to sing a song, both declined. I felt that was a betrayal and despite labouring under a heavy nose cold with a croaky (not karaoke) voice, I stepped up to the plate, as the Mercans would say. Not my best rendition and I did lose my way with the words at one point but I got there in the end. Annie will never hear the end of it!

Apparently the students want me to go again next week but it won't happen unless they lend me an e-bike. The venue is at a guess 250 yards from home yet when I left I had to pause four times, my hips were rebelling. Lately I have had to make the trade-off regarding a choice between joint pain and stomach problems and stopped taking my NSAIDs. I'd rather have creaky ball joints!

Oh, and it looks as if my entire medical bill has been authorised, Brenda submitted it to accounts. Now that IS good news given recent expenditure.

Sunday, 14 April 2019

Back in business. New laptop. Normal service resumes shortly.

Wednesday, 10 April 2019

Wednesday, 10th April, 2019 1720

The laptop is developing its own saga.

Yesterday Andy and I went to see the repair shop owner. He'd had it for ten days and done nothing. Initially he had said it would cost 1,000y if the keyboard was all that was needed, 2,000 if the board needed replacing.

To get him moving I told him to order the parts and fix it ASAP. Suddenly just the board was going to be 2,000y and the keyboard extra! We were now talking at least half the price I paid for the damned thing. It was obvious he didn't want the job and so was pricing it to deter me.

Fine, put it back together and I will collect it tomorrow. Not possible, maybe Friday, maybe Saturday! He knows I want it Friday at the latest (won't hold my breath) and if I get it Andy and I will take it to a proper computer shop.


I have a dreadful feeling I will end up buying a new set.    

Thursday, 4 April 2019

Thursday 4th April, 2019 2030

Quick update.

The computer man is dragging his heels, now saying both motherboard and keyboard have had it. Still no estimate on costs.

Got my results at the hospital this evening and by good fortune there was still a doctor operating who came and spoke to us. Because I sought treatment early, I got away with chronic mucosal inflammation of the duodenum but I am advised it could eventually have developed into something more serious.


Some good news for once! 

Tuesday, 2 April 2019

Tuesday 2nd April, 2019 1930

This will take a while to type. I am currently using my eighteen year old, steam driven laptop. It doesn't like backspace, g, h and a few others.

Why? You may well ask what happened to my less than two years old set. I have in the past been guilty of it myself but this time a visitor who shall remain nameless knocked a glass of wine over. Believe me, keyboard condoms are no match for plonk! It is now languishing in a shop while they try to decide if the keyboard, mother board or both are buggered. Expensive.

This weekend is Qing Ming or tomb sweeping holiday and I have the added bonus of next week off as well because my students are all on work experience.

Today was of course an important one for me, the day of the operation. Last time we went they told Alice I would need 3-4 hours rest in hospital before leaving. At the time I said it wouldn't happen and it didn't – I sat resting for all of ten minutes before we went and wasted ninety minutes queueing twice for invoices.

The growth was removed in double quick time and the plan is to return at 1700 Thursday for biopsy results. I rather hope for good news, it looks as if Joanna will be coming at the weekend.


My stomach is a little sore but no hindrance to my going to work tomorrow. In the meantime I await the verdict on my other laptop!