Monday 26^th August, 2019 0900

So Boris told Trump to look at Melton Mowbray pork pies because they are available in Thailand and Iceland but not the US. The truth is they aren't exported anywhere! Perhaps though he can have a word with Xi Jinping because they aren't available here!

I had a call from Jody last night. I thought she had been quiet but put it down to holiday travelling or perhaps her other job and anyway I had my own travelling to do last month. But no, she has been in hospital for four weeks. It is not easy to glean information from Chinese people, at least not accurate information. All I can gather is she has a problem with her breasts and something else. No mention of cancer from her so I am none the wiser. When we meet up again perhaps I may get a more accurate picture. I'm not sure if she expects me to feel guilty about not contacting her during vacation time but I don't, she could have texted from hospital and of course I would have visited. Might even have taken some grapes.

Of late I have been experiencing disruption online. At least the online I want to be connected to. The Firewall Police are on overtime again and I assumed it might be because of the little local problem off the south coast.

I reckon I may be right. Last night I checked the news. Whilst I had some sympathy for the cause when they were conducting peaceful protests it seems now they are attacking the police violently. Nobody could expect them to simply soak that up. I fear they are shooting their own cause in the scrotum now and despite my previous opinion that there would be no repeat of a few decades ago, I am not so sure now. They are leading with their chins, not least of all because my world cup is in peril, just when they are playing it near me so I can actually watch the games if I can connect!

Mind you, after the match against Ireland I am daring to hope again. It's unfair to raise everyone's expectations like that and then bomb in the main show!

Tuesday 1800

Still haven't had a haircut or been shopping. I would have done one or both today after lunch, except Brenda called.

Did I get a message from the police station (meaning PSB)? No, no missed call or unopened text on my phone, which had been silent until she rang. Supposedly she had arranged an appointment for me to lodge my passport.

I gather they have a new system where instead of just turning up, you make an appointment. Wonderful if it works I suppose. You don't have Wechat, do you? No, I don't want it. Please you should download it because the appointment system is on it. They were very angry yesterday when a group of foreign students turned up without an appointment. Well can't I go to make an appointment and then again another day to the actual appointment? Please, you should download wechat.

I don't want it, wouldn't use it and would never hand out my number even if I had it. Something where Big Brother has unfettered access to private correspondence is not to my liking.

But hell, if I need it for applying for my new permit? I downloaded it. Only took an hour. Does anyone want my Wechat number?

I still don't have Wechat!

When you click to open it, you are presented with a QR code to scan with your smartphone!!!!

I have a thickphone.

You should buy a new phone. You mean spend ¥5,000 to buy a phone I neither need nor want? Fine if the school pays for it.

Needless to say my appointment is for Thursday at 1030 and I shan't be going. Alice will, and Brenda knowing my abhorrence towards paying out for known expenses and having to wait for reimbursement when accounts can be bothered, is going to give Alice the money.

Life here can be easier when you are old, profess to be stupid with modern technology (not entirely untrue!), are a bit prickly and yet have friends who help. Well come on – Alice's help has given her food, travel, luxury flights and hotels on me! And worth every penny.

Saturday 24^th August, 2019 2100

Wow! There's another first for me in China – BHG now has self service checkouts! Not that I will ever be able to use them of course. One, I don't understand the screens, two there don't appear to be any carrier bags available (where am I supposed to put my rubbish at home?) and three, most important of all, I wouldn't get my BOGOF deals on wine!

Actually I think this latest development is rather sad. We are used to it in the west but it does take jobs away from people and there's no discount on offer for doing it yourself so the shop rakes in all the benefit.

Summer seems to be over here. I still haven't had my head cropped due to rain and low temperatures but I really do need to do it in the next couple of days. It will give it time to grow back a little before I start work again – don't want to terrify the freshmen too much!

Can't recall if I mentioned finding a restaurant opposite the jing jo shop by accident but we went there tonight. Alice brought Annie's replacement. I had already been told her name but had to ask if she spelt it the Kardashian way or the proper way. She is Khloe and looked horrified at my comment, being at pains to assure me she was named long before that lot became famous for......well, having huge surgically enhanced backsides.

Dinner wasn't a long affair, it rarely is in China but we had a huge platter of prawns (we only just finished it), sweet pork and what the picture suggested was tempura prawns but which turned out to be whitebait. They say the camera never lies but my experience of Chinese menus suggests otherwise!

Khloe is twenty-one and from Dallas and get this – she will be teaching reading, writing and listening to sophomores, juniors and seniors! For those who haven't twigged, it means most of her students will be older than her! I'm not sure that's particularly fair. She is a volunteer with no teacher training and she has never taught before. The saving grace is that it's not the west, the students here will not chew her up and spit her out. I do feel for her nonetheless.

And she starts work this coming Tuesday, yet I have another fortnight to scratch my buttocks. I suppose she will learn quickly.

I'm now binge watching “Life On Mars” both series. They passed me by when they came out (the title would hardly have tempted me) and I love it. 1973 was the year I joined my first ship and while many say the seventies were dreadful I have no such recollections. I was having the time of my life! In fact the latter half of the eighties right up until the twenty-tens were dreadful for me in various different ways. I really hope a century on I have a roaring twenties!

Wednesday 21^st August, 2019 2230

I was going to get my head shaved yesterday but summer ended rather abruptly and it rained all day. My indolence needs no encouragement to stay home and so it never happened. I was also going to go again today but even though it was dry I procrastinated yet again. I shall go tomorrow morning or lunchtime before I go to BHG. In order to get the wine girls I have learnt I need to be there early or after 1500, otherwise they are in the warehouse gossiping.

With nobody to cook for I have been in “can't be bothered” mode since Shanghai and so on Monday I made the effort to copy a translation of “sweet pork” for the restaurant around the corner – the one that served me prawns from Vesuvius. Now I am normally observant but clearly in familiar (or what I think are familiar) surroundings, patently I am not, for when I walked into the restaurant nothing was familiar.

What I had thought of as one eatery is in fact two. Having walked into the “wrong” one I wasn't about to walk out and decided to check it out. I will be using it again! Ok, big minus seems to be no smoking. Major pluses are a menu with photos and the fact they do sweet pork, sashimi and a prawn dish with dip but which has no price – that will be Alice's job to find out. And so it came to pass that I had a doggy bag of sweet pork to reheat last night for my dinner. The spare ribs/pork bits I ordered are frozen for Alice to take to her dorm, I tried one and hated it but I am sure her room mates will love them.

Alice is coming on Friday with my new work permit and hopefully a packet of mint seeds. The last lot we ordered never sprouted and I would like to at least try and get a few plants growing before winter sets in. Not much of a summer here in the north, three months if we are lucky.

So I have promised to make meat pizzas using the salami I bought in Shanghai and I will bake banana bread/cake for her to take to her dorm as well. She likes it, I don't.

I know a goodly percentage of my readers are OAPs, a group I hope to be lucky enough to number among in a few years' time. A vastly underrated body of people, only appreciated at election times for the silver vote. However, as I seem to have been on holiday forever (and rest assured when it ends in two and a half weeks it will have gone too quickly!) I have had oodles of time to ponder and muse and read.

I was reading an article on the BBC news website about how hard it is to retire. Yes, you read that correctly – how difficult it is to retire! Apparently some people are traumatised by suddenly having nothing to do all day!

I can't wait. Ok, I haven't worked “proper” hours for the last nine years and seem to be on holiday for five months a year and yes, I actually have no plans to retire as in tending a garden and sitting in an armchair awaiting the grim reaper. But having the choice as to working or not and not having to concern myself unduly about money? Well, that's to be looked forward to. It has occurred to me that IF the venture with Joan goes ahead and she cannot raise enough capital, then maybe I could continue working whilst drawing my pensions. I don't see that business as a get rich scheme, rather a ticket to remain in China and have more money to explore the world.

I suppose in a year or eighteen months it will become clearer and I will need to find out if Joan is going to put things in motion.

Saturday 17^th August, 2019 1440

Well, I brought back a gift courtesy of China Eastern. Yesterday I developed a dreadful cough and sore throat that is highly likely to have been circulating from some dirty, infected economy class passenger! At my age coughs and sore throats are mercifully few and far between but this cough last night actually became a little worrying. I would start hacking but you know when you need a good cough to ease the blockage or irritation and you need a strong inhalation to take in sufficient air to do so? Well, I couldn't! All I could do was cough but not inhale so I did wonder if I was going to asphyxiate in front of my desk! I still have it but it is abating thanks to liberal soaking of the throat with jing jo.

After I posted yesterday I suddenly realised that next term I am teaching freshmen. They have ten days military training normally before starting classes. Well, by military training I mean learning patriotic motherland songs and learning how to march appallingly in tissue-thin “uniforms” whilst chanting tributes to Beijing or Mao or whatever.

So I asked the question, am I actually having my first lessons on 2^nd September when the new academic year commences. Imagine my despondency when I learnt I have a further week of holiday and start instead on the 9^th! I might go to the campus the week before though, nobody has provided me with a map of which building is which and I still only know building 4 – I need to know 3 and 5 too and being China I wouldn't bet my shirt on them being adjacent or even remotely near each other.

Quite apart from the unexpected extra time off, it does afford me the opportunity to lodge my residence permit application on the 5^th rather than the end of August (although with Tuesdays off I could have done 3^rd) which is crucial. You never seem to get the full twelve months so renewal is always a few days earlier each year. Being now in a position to have been holidaying and travelling for all of August had I chosen I would like to maintain that, especially when it cost me a bloody fortune going to Hong Kong to make it happen three years ago.

After Shanghai it is hard to work up enthusiasm for cooking, maybe after Monday when I shop. Seriously thinking of going around the corner for dinner but worrying whether I can find something I can eat that won't erupt in my mouth. I suppose tomorrow I should haul arse and get the makings of a solo roast chicken Sunday dinner. Alice is with Mum so I have no playmates but I expect that may become the norm during the forthcoming year. What the hell, as long as I am happy!

Friday 16^th August, 2019 1800

Wednesday evening we indeed ended up eating at the Fat Cow burger restaurant (wonder who it was named after?) and if you thought it would be cheap you would be wrong!

The others tucked into chicken wings and strippers, I declined knowing full well that even by ordering the cheapest burger on the menu I wouldn't be able to finish. I was right! Mine was called the Cowabunga and they had been creative with the menu with such delicacies as fat pig, etc but I managed half. They close at 2200 which in Shanghai is unfashionably early but given the volume of trade they do (and the prices they charge) during the hours they do open then I can understand them not needing longer. Just the five of us, the usual suspects and Joanna, despite needing to meet a client at 2130, did me the honour of coming for the last supper.

I (and indeed Roland because he had work in the morning) had planned an early night but after Joanna, Alice and TJ decamped we had G&T next door then took a taxi back to the Lion bar near our hotel, where Cherry – who has legs second only to Joanna – was sure to give us a hearty welcome, particularly if we bought her Jaegerbombs.

Blow me if the German guy who had bored us rigid the night before with explaining a revolutionary (and now not Top Secret) new printing method Kodak developed for the first moon landing wasn't there again. He was in company with an Indian engineer and a Finnish (I think) chap who used to be a marine engineer but was now involved with wind turbines. Some of you may imagine the twists and turns the conversation took between two ex deck officers and ginger beers! I also learnt far more than I ever need to about offshore wind farms!

The Finnish chap was sloshed and contact was lost when he went next door, demanded a discount for a massage and disappeared inside. Quite what type of massage he expected or was going to get I know not except I will lay odds he passed out before five minutes elapsed. I think I got to bed at 0230.

And then it was Thursday and our evening flight back.

Roland went above and beyond the call of duty and offered to take us to the airport so we met at Big Bamboo for lunch. It was to be my treat but he paid. He always pays more than his share and at times such as those I wish I had cash to splash. I wonder if any of the girls I am always treating feel the same pangs of guilt I do? After all, Alice just had a week in a top class hotel, top notch grub and VIP flights and probably spent £30! Bless her, I know she enjoyed the new experiences and she raved about meeting all my friends – she even bought Roland a “sheep” keyring (translated it means ship!) - and she was forever having video calls with her Mum telling her about how fantastic Shanghai was. Me? I go for the rest (well in the daytime anyway), the booze ups and restaurants that really ought to offer pygmy portions for people like me.

I had a blast as always.

But oh God, last night we landed at about 2230 (and here's a first – our three cases were the first out on the carousel!) and rather than bugger about trying to get the hotel shuttle we took a taxi to Dongfu hotel, it only costs the minimum fare of 10¥ (about £1.15) and we checked in. The “meal” on the flight consisted of a chocolate dusted marshmallow, a round of cake the size of a blini and a few bits of fruit. I expected more than that and had only had a sandwich in the business lounge in Pudong!

Alice went out and bought Pot Noodles for herself and we retired. I heard every flight until the last one left about 0130 because this time our room faced the airport rather than away from it. I also woke up when the first flight left, Air China at 0715. So I am tired. And the aircon didn't work.

I got her to the bus station to go home to Mum and arrived home myself just after three. I wish I was still in Shanghai but the bank manager says “no”..........

Wednesday 14^th August, 2019 1230

Our last full day here. The week (and the money!) has disappeared far too rapidly, possibly swifter for Alice than for me. Aside from two forays searching for western food shopping I have done bugger all except go out drinking and eating minuscule portions of dinner in the evenings. She on the other hand has left after breakfast every day, armed with her sightseeing plan for the day, not to reappear until there was a chance of being fed. I do envy her youth, energy and enthusiasm and it is wonderful to see how much experience her first time in Shanghai has given her.

The Japanese place was sparsely populated, no idea why as the typhoon had gone. We never got off to an auspicious start when the first thing we ordered - sushi – was off as they had run out of rice. In China??!!! Rather than decamping we persevered and ultimately were rewarded with a not too shabby meal. And the bill was a lot less than Zizzi.....

Monday I went to City Shop. I have been to it quite a few times over the years but this time all I came away with was two packets of Jacob's cream crackers (I don't care what anyone says, Carr's water biscuits are not a patch) and four bags of Doritos, which oddly don't feature large in Lanzhou. I went up to the second floor after finding next to nothing of interest on the first and it was derelict! After whingeing about it to Roland he kindly directed me to Times supermarket, from whence we have just returned. Yes, Alice actually came, she is done with schlepping all over the city and has simply gone out now to find a quiet park to sit and read her book – until din-dins time anyway.

In the evening we made a return visit to Bollywood. Last year I left a tainted review because they substituted my prawn and mushrooms for mutton and the owner was exceptionally keen to ensure I was delighted with the experience this time. And I was, so he gets his gold star back.

Now, considering I don't eat enough to keep a cat alive, you may be forgiven for thinking I don't care where I eat but if I'm not going to have much then I want it to be what I want and of good quality. My problem is I tend to be a creature of habit in Shanghai, going to the same places every summer with an occasional change as suggested by Roland and always excellent venues, it must be said. So last night I suggested for a change we all go to a place I found online called Bali Bistro. Allegedly the only Indonesian restaurant in Shanghai (but Roland informed me there was another not too far away from them!) which nobody had been to before. I screwed up somewhere because it was my turn to foot the victualling bill (Roland and I alternate between one paying for dinner, the other the pre and post prandial libations) and somehow I had arranged the largest number of diners! Seven of us in total, Roland and son (I call him TJ), Alice, Joanna, Me and Tutu with her fiance. I emptied the room safe in preparation.

Nothing to write home about, some of the stuff (such as the BOGOF fried half chicken) didn't go down well but the satay was a hit, as it appeared was the fall-apart beef and the nasi goreng. Disappointing to order chardonnay and have it turn up lukewarm so we had to wait until the ice bucket worked its magic. At the end the bill was colossal but thankfully still some way short of the one Roland got stiffed with. To date I think in six days we have spent the entire GDP of the Turks & Caicos Islands in restaurants alone, forget the bars!

In Times supermarket, again loads of wonderful stuff but next to nothing that was on my shopping list! HP sauce was all I ticked off on that score but I did buy salami and pepperoni and tortillas so I reckon Alice will be treated to some meat feast pizzas next term. Haven't made any in a while and they are certainly better than any I have ever had in China. And I will not be feeding the five thousand any more either.

Joanna is doing me proud this visit too, she is also coming tonight, which means she will have come six out of seven nights. As she lives miles away and works even further (other side of the Yangtse) once again for our last supper we will take a taxi to nearer her so she can get there at a reasonable time. We have no plans on where to eat, indeed it may end up being huge burgers. Hope they have kiddie ones for me!

Sunday 11^th August, 2019 1320

Lekima arrived before we went out last night.

I had no umbrella but that was going to be academic, even if one could hold onto it it would have been inside out or shredded within seconds. I steeled myself to getting a bit damp. As we got to the hotel entrance and poked our heads outside it was a trifle daunting, the wind was ferocious which was fine but the rain was lashing horizontally with it. We weren't going to get damp, we were going to get drowned.

Rather fortuitously, as we waited hopefully (and in the event forlornly) for it to abate, Roland texted to ask if we wanted a lift. YES! Did we ever.....

Before he turned up I took a couple of photos to convey what filthy conditions they were, you can't make anything out in them at all. As I opened the door for Alice to get in the car I was genuinely worried that the wind might actually bend the door hinges during one of the gusts. Amazingly, on emerging from the underground car park at Big Bamboo, we could all use brollies with impunity, on this occasion there was a welcome lee, unlike the front of our hotel.

Alice's brother had called off their planned meeting, as indeed Mulan did whilst we were in the taxi to the restaurant because she couldn't get a cab or a Didi car (Chinese Uber). Maybe many cars decided not to risk it and those that did were ridiculously busy.

So it was just the four of us, Alice, Joanna, Roland and yours truly en route to Zizzi, the other side of the Yangtse. I knew of the chain but had never been. When we arrived only two tables were occupied so we increased trade by 50%. The food was excellent (I had my usual sparrow survival portion!) with a platter of Italian cold meats and an “ostrich egg” mozzarella, another platter of belly port, wings, fries and other stuff together with pizza base garlic bread. Mains were veal schnitzel, seafood tagliatelle and pour moi a meat “pizzetta”, allegedly tiny but in reality twice as much as I could eat. The others had desserts of cheesecake and a sharing sundae which included, of all things, Chinese green tea flavoured ice cream! A very pleasant valpolicella followed some extremely civilised G&Ts to complete a wonderful meal.

Then the bill.

An eye-watering, wallet-incinerating ¥2,400!!! Or to put in in perspective, about 40% of my monthly salary last year. I thanked Him up above it was Roland's turn to pick up the tab. I never even started the night with that much in my pocket! Every bloody year I come here and every year I suffer anxiety attacks over the cost of living. It truly is a different universe to the ones I inhabit.

So today Alice did get to go and see her brother, I am hoping she will make it back after dinner to meet Mulan, who is on for tonight now the wind and rain has moved northwards. In its wake it has left quite a few of the trees in the central reservation of the road running past the hotel either uprooted or snapped at the bole. The workmen and cranes are working to clear the disaster area as I type.

All this means it's my turn to buy dinner tonight. I am thinking of suggesting we have one plate of sushi to share.....

Yes, we are going Japanese this evening.

Saturday 10^th August,2019 1030

Yesterday after breakfast Alice sallied forth to meet Rabbit for a planned trip up the Pearl Tower. That left me alone in the hotel which suited me fine while I recuperated from the night before.

By now the vanguard of the year's strongest typhoon, Lekima, was showing a presence. Nothing to shout about (yet), just a bit of a breeze and a fair amount of the wet stuff. Alice and Rabbit had to queue for ages to get tickets to go up the tower, even in dreadful weather it seems it is still a popular attraction on a weekday.

Later they went to the Bund to see the light show on the tower blocks but were prevented by the police who had closed the riverfront off. I can't fathom why because it's a bit early to be worrying about the Yangtse overflowing – maybe later today or tomorrow when the full deluge hits us.

Anyway, last night once I felt human again, I went to Big Bamboo, was joined later by Roland (I try to take advantage of Happy Hour) and then of course Joanna, something I keenly anticipate all year. Having been thwarted in her attempt to see the Bund lightshow, Alice followed not too long after. Dinner was a sharing nacho platter and I opted for a rather disappointing pitta, hummus and crudite affair. I should have just gone for chips!

Much pool playing took place but sadly the evening had to end.

Today the wind is stronger, when I went outside the hotel for a gasp it was becoming difficult to stand still and it doesn't take a genius to know that sometime later the heavens will open with a vengeance. Rabbit is too worried about the typhoon to join us this evening (the headlights got her!) but four of us should be leaving Big Bamboo at six to go to Zizzi. I've heard of the chain but never been in one. Mulan says she will meet us there. I just hope we can get a taxi, by all accounts they were thin on the ground last night. I must remember to take the camera this time.

Thursday 8^th August, 2019 8 miles high, 0900

Despite having a later night than I would have preferred, getting up at 0445 was not really a problem. Shower and coffee (brought with me, just as well, nothing provided by the hotel), read the news, repacked and it was time to check out. The free bus was leaving at six. Not the ideal vehicle for airport shuttles, after all, the majority of passengers will have luggage but there was no place to stow them other than in the cabin. We managed.

Unusually, at the check-in area there was a small queue in the VIP lane. I guessed it was because the airport hadn't long opened for the day and the first handful of flights were making sure they never missed theirs.

After yesterday and my “bad mouth” I hadn't said a word but I couldn't help but remember when the other Alice was refused a boarding pass and I had to jump through hoops to rectify matters. Today, no problem!

In fact I could even get a cold beer in the exec lounge or wine if I wanted. Alice was like a puppy on a polished toilet seat. So excited to be flying for the second time, visiting Shanghai for the first time and meeting Joanna, Roland, Rabbit, Mulan and anyone else we come across. So she got herself some breakfast (typical Chinese offerings which I never eat) and in between mouthfuls she watched the information screen like a hawk. Now, I'm reasonable at recognising numbers in Chinese announcements, in fact I now find it easier to recite my mobile number in Chinese than English – I have to think about it! So I knew to listen for chi eee joh but when you pay not to travel in economy, the lounge tells you when your flight is boarding.

But oh no! Alice saw “Final Call” on the screen – I am sure that is posted the moment they open boarding – and was immediately concerned. I told her to ask the girl on the desk while I went to the loo and sure enough, it was now boarding and there was still half an hour before take off time.

Not sure what happened but I thing the reception girl forgot our flight. We had to wait downstairs for the VIP bus which I reckon already took the other 6 front cabin passengers and returned. Even then when we got on we had to sit and wait until ten minutes before take-off before the bus moved.

Friday 9^th 1600

We actually made it without incident to Shanghai and our hotel. Took a little longer than expected but fine for just dumping our bags with left luggage before checking in then popping round the corner to the Flying Fox. Alice very nearly finished an all day breakfast and I had a couple of pints of Guinness before we came back, checked in and took a nap. It had been a tiring morning.

In the evening it was a rendezvous with Roland at Big Bamboo then off to the Kerry Parkside hotel for a buffet dinner. Waste of money on me given the amount I eat but the other two filled their boots. I did my best to justify the endless two-hour booze package we opted for. A good buffet, my capacity was the disappointment. Afterwards we went to the White Horse where there was some pretty decent live music, not something I normally do except in Shanghai!

Hands up, what with the hectic day and copious liquids, I did get a bit pickled, so this morning I felt slightly under par. I did though attempt breakfast. There are western offerings which had they been less than stone cold might have been reasonable but hour-old fried eggs, tepid sausages and bacon didn't quite cut the mustard for me. Maybe tomorrow if I make it, I will content myself with cereal.

Wednesday 7^th August, 2019 2000

I really should stop travelling.

The first thing to go wrong was when we tried to buy train tickets to the airport on the 1533 train. Despite what the internet told me, that train doesn't stop at Lanzhou West and leaves from Lanzhou Central only. Next train was 1718. So, instant foul mood for me.

Eventually we got to the airport, tired and hungry and (I know!) looking forward to a BK Whopper apiece. Except Burger King in the airport has closed down! Eventually we settled for McDonald's, a poor second. Could anything else go wrong today?

Taxi to our overnight hotel, we arrived I think amidst an influx and efflux of Chinese tour packages and the bedlam reminded me of an Egyptian train station. By now I was mightily pissed off and as today was 33C all I wanted was a room, bed and airconditioning. I had already jokingly suggested to Alice that our train would be delayed and later that it would be just my luck for Burger King to have disappeared.

As we queued I opined that it would really make my day if now we found they had no record of my booking of a room.

Oh, you guessed it! No, no, no no!! I have the booking number and if you give me the wifi password I will show you the confirmation! Don't bother, they said, we don't have it. Cancel the booking and make another now. Same price? 298 yuan? Yes. We have now paid for the return next Thursday as well because I won't be in the mood at nearly midnight to argue and both bookings have now been cancelled with Booking.com. To be fair it is the first time I have encountered problems using them but at the end of a day that went so horribly wrong I just didn't need it. Afterwards Alice told me “I hate your mouth!” I said what do you mean? “Everything bad you said today came true!”

And she was of course, right.

The Budd travel curse returns with a vengeance. That's three at once so hopefully there will be no more this journey.

Sunday 4^th August, 2019 1630

When this gets sent it will be the last entry before somewhere hotter and sweatier.

Alice brought my smallest suitcase here earlier with I assume her clothes (don't think there will be a luggage allowance problem there, I can pick it up with my little finger!) so that when she comes on Wednesday she only needs her “small bag” – I'm guessing she means her school backpack.

Which then prompted me to start packing my own case. For a total of nine days I really don't want to take my “airmax” monster suitcase (doesn't usually allow taxi boots to close) so I am using the medium one. I hope.

With just one bottle of wine for the hotel on Wednesday and five 250ml jing jos for breakfasts in Shanghai, so far all the clothes and 200 cigars have fitted and there's room for the empty coolbag on top. No room at all for my laptop speakers though. The good thing is, as I smoke and drink I will free up space for the return journey.

Then I went to the jing jo shop. Now that sterling has recovered a trifle I decided to start withdrawing cash. I'm going to wear my money belt on the journey. With a UK account there's a daily withdrawal limit which has always been about 2,000¥ but today it said – twice – insufficient funds. Pissed off, I went and did my shopping, anticipating an irate phone call to the UK later. I had checked the Visa rate online and applied the bank charges so there was no reason to tell me to bugger off. Then I wondered if it was perhaps a penny over the daily limit, went back, tried again for 1800 and it paid out! Came back and checked again and 2k was under the limit, admittedly only just, but what's the point of giving you somewhere to check first and then not honouring it? I will be able to clear it out completely on Tuesday.

There are no daily limits on Chinese accounts, if you have the money you can take it all out from an ATM. Ok, it's 2,500-3,000 a time up to the machine limit (25k/30k normally) but you can move to another machine and start again. With effort you could get enough to buy a car with in cash. Or a house.

Mind you, now the yuan is allegedly being manipulated I can see myself both benefiting and losing.

Tuesday 6^th 1100

One final visit to the cashpoint today to wipe out the UK account and that's it.

I had a restless night last night due to odd dreams! Somewhere in there the latest US shootings had an effect because in one I became involved with county lines drug dealers and ended up being shot twice in the head with a small calibre pistol! I didn't die (they say you can't die in your dreams) but instead woke up needing the toilet.

In another, my car was pinched and my laptop and, bizarrely, wallet were inside. There's when it turned into a serious nightmare. Due to data protection my bank wouldn't speak to me so I had no card and no way of getting any money. The real life upcoming renewal in a few months must be preying on me. At last renewal it took months after expiry for a new one to actually arrive. If only they had the capacity to copy an address in Chinese.

So that's it for a while from Lanzhou, tomorrow I will put the cat out and check all the taps are off.

Saturday 3^rd August, 2019 1000

Bejaysus!

My Shanghai fund is shrinking daily. The pound, as far as I can tell, sank to the lowest ever level against the renmimbi two days ago. It has rallied a little this morning

I watched a surprisingly good film last night, Hachiko – a dog's tale. True story (with a lot of literary licence involved) and if you have chance I recommend it. But then, I am a dog lover.

The weather here this summer has not played ball. Finally we have warm weather, probably averaging around thirty but every now and again we are getting unforecast downpours. I haven't see this much rain since I have been here although nothing on the scale of the last place.

I see Heathrow has cancelled 172 flights following the result of a strike ballot by ground workers. BA is facing a strike by their pilots as well. Not that I would have flown BA (too expensive) had I been going home but if I had booked I would be worrying the entire time as to whether I'd be able to get back again!

Last night Alice came for a final pre-Shanghai dinner. I made a beef stew (the meat was cooking for four hours) and suet dumplings. The last time I made dumplings they were awful. In the UK I only ever used the suet and water. Bit of a swine for making your hands look like a potter's but they always came out fine. That time I decided to follow the packet instructions, including flour and putting them in for twenty minutes.

I think the suet was past its best and they were simply dire, so yesterday I opened a new box and cooked them for an hour. Just two, huge, dumplings. Alice's comment? “I wish you had made more dumplings”!

She had also been emailed my rota for next term by Niki. Why the hell she couldn't have emailed me I know not but once Alice forwarded it to me I was unable to open it, it being in some weird QQ format. She went around the corner and had it printed off for me instead.

It isn't bad to be honest. Almost twice last term's workload and four days instead of two but only one early rise. A slight problem insofar as my classes are spread around buildings 3,4 and 5 and most on the first floor and a couple on the third. I only know where building 4 is so the inaugural week will be interesting unless they provide a site map as requested – the buildings don't have numbers on them and past experience tells me nobody passing by will know either.

Thursday is the heavy day with six periods back to back. Except first I am in building 3 on the 3^rd floor and next I have to get to building 5 and the 6^th floor during a twenty minute break! Quite apart from there being no chance of grabbing a cuppa, I cannot ascend that height like a teenage alpine ibex. Especially as, being an all-day stint I will have my books, laptop, maybe lunch and shoulder bag to carry. I politely pointed this out to Delia the dean and whilst I hastened to add I wasn't refusing, I merely didn't want to be taken to task if on the odd occasion I didn't quite make it for the bell.

I am reliably informed they are now endeavouring to move that class to the 1^st or 2^nd floor!

Kevin has now relocated lock, stock to the Philippines. The last contact I received was to the effect that China had abandoned him so he was abandoning China and that his last school had treated him disgracefully. No explanation. I did say that after both of us got dumped last time for having the temerity to turn sixty that perhaps the complete lack of loyalty was hardly a surprise. I do though wish him well and hope he manages to attract some online teaching work, at least until his pension kicks in.