Monday 20th August, 2012          2100

I went downtown in the late afternoon, the plan being to go to the bank, Lottemart and then Ke Bi Wang for dinner. I had planned to buy some trousers (here they all come with a two-fathom inside leg and you take them to the free alteration service and wait while they do it) but I was forty minutes in the bank! Obviously I wanted to be served by Sonya but for the entire time she was serving a group of three, who I learned later had chosen that particular time to go and set up business accounts - just my luck. Eventually my number came up and I had to go to her mate but security swiftly put the kibosh on that! I don’t know what was said but I was given my passbook back, the group buggered off elsewhere and I was told to sit at Sonya’s window!

However, although personally I had all the time in the world, because I like to take the mutts out off campus while everything is closed here, I decided against spending any trouser time so just bought pet food and went to have some dinner. I think my stomach was stretched at the weekend for normally I buy two dishes and only eat 1½ but tonight I polished off the lot.

From when I left to go out until now there has been a lightning storm yet strangely we have had no rain. I did though note that - at least two weeks before they need to be here - some students have started to drift back. They must be keen. This summer we have had about 1,000 of them who never went home at all, some took summer jobs locally and others just wanted to study, so certain dormitory blocks were used to house them. Obviously the school wasn’t going to pay for the staff to keep them all open so they had to shift “house” for the duration but tonight I noticed ones now open which were hitherto closed. I suspect the shops and cafes may reopen again shortly.

While I was having a beer with the dogs I saw two army officers (probably lieutenants) on an e-bike - don’t forget all the freshmen do their military training on campus during the first fortnight of term - and I am pretty sure they went for dinner at the local hotel. A little later I saw a dozen non-comms or privates on foot and they came to eat at the little “greasy spoon” which currently has picnic tables outside. Somehow I think the lowly ranks not only paid less for dinner but also got better food because I have eaten in the hotel!

It had to happen and finally it has. A male/female student couple left the restaurant I sit outside, the girl walked to the road and waited for the boy to get there on his pushbike - it is a common sight to see someone doing all the pedalling while another sits on the luggage rack doing sod all. The lad took the short cut to the road which is really BMX territory and attracted Robin’s attention. She got up close undetected by him and barked and growled and the surprise was enough for him to fall off. Thankfully he wasn’t hurt and I am reasonably sure he found it humorous but one of these days someone is going to score a hit with a stone - I hope they do to teach her a lesson as long as they hit her backside. The confusing thing is that she doesn’t go after every bike/e-bike/motorbike, just certain ones. Ditto people on foot.

Tuesday 21st         2000

I had planned to buy trousers and meet up with Joey sometime today. In the afternoon I sent him a text asking where we should meet after I shopped. Bear in mind that yesterday when I advised him of the probability I would go to town and meet up and he responded with Ok, the fact that aside from a few beers and thus far one dinner it is being done gratis and you will understand. The reply today was that as it is his birthday he couldn’t meet me as his mum was taking him out. I know as we become middle-aged we try to forget birthdays but an early twenty-something? I will make no further offers and see if he contacts me - uncle colleague or not this I can do without.

As a result I almost didn’t bother going out at all. I could have made bread and eaten something quite happily using that, but as Kevin is coming to campus tomorrow to get some things from his flat here I wanted to leave the day more or less free. So I duly set off under darkening skies and with the promise this time of definite rain.

I went to the commercial centre first because there was a far greater chance of them having bacon ( I wasn’t disappointed) than Lottemart and when I arrived there were no parking spaces available near the entrance. I stopped so I could take a look and see where there was a space but was immediately accosted by a jobsworth security guard intent on telling me I wasn’t allowed to park in the space outside the main entrance. No kidding? “WHAT???” I bellowed, and was rewarded by a flinch. I proceeded to admonish him by way of body language and got it across that I had merely paused to survey parking spots. I hope he got the message that someone who stops a vehicle and remains seated on it is not necessarily going to leave it there.

I hate shopping in the commercial centre supermarket. It’s like a Tesco Metro but with less people on the tills and is always busy. And as far as I know, in China they don’t have a 10 items or less queue. So I am waiting patiently in line with my three packs of pig, having a stilted conversation with a Chinese couple with child in front of me and wondering how long all the fully laden trolleys in front of us would take when we were surprised by a classic pincer movement.

Initially I was flabbergasted. In front of the couple ahead of me, to the left a businessman with a basket full had pushed into the queue in front of them and to the right an old fart with one item had done likewise! Ok, calm down. My enquiry of the family in front as to their thoughts met with a typical Chinese response - shrugged shoulders. Well sod that, my time is as important as anyone else’s and if I can queue so can everyone else. Christ did I make a scene! I tapped the old boy on the shoulder and ;pointed out people weren’t standing in line for their health and he moved to the back. By now I think the entire shop was looking on aghast. Surely the laowei wouldn’t dare do likewise with the well-dressed man?? Would he? Oh yes, he got the tap but also the benefit of an earful and the question as to whether he was Hu Jintao or just a normal person - God was I fuming. Then, after both interlopers had been sent packing a most unexpected thing occurred. The family in front insisted I go ahead of them! With a rather large captive audience spectating I then had to launch into an explanation that as they were before me they should go first and anyone after should wait. I must admit, when it finally was my turn the cashier moved exceptionally quickly but it gives the lie to the Chinese expression that time doesn’t matter to them, when patently to others with no manners it does.

Bacon bought, it was off to Lottemart for trousers. That was an experience in itself. Even if I find it difficult to get shirts my size, due to the fact I wear my trousers under the gut it doesn’t present a problem. Or does it? I picked two pairs I fancied, there were cheap ones for 49y but these were 89y. The pockets felt as if they might last slightly longer than the last lot I bought so I dragged three assistants away from their gossip to ask for a tape measure. In the UK it is easy, I just select 38” waist and try them on. Here they have centimetres, US sizes and every other size standard possible and none of them are consistent. Good start, they tried to drag me over to the belt section. I got across that I wanted them to measure me eventually and when the penny dropped one of them exclaimed “ah! Ruler!”. Yes, a bendy one please!

According to them, all the middle range kecks didn’t go up that far. Very helpfully they produced a pair which I went and tried on. Way too big, suggesting madam hadn’t a clue how to read a tape. I said they were fine but too large and an even bigger pair came. By this time I was becoming exasperated and not a little ticked off with trying to conduct a conversation in my underpants whilst holding a cubicle door so I dressed and got it across that I needed smaller. Bingo, of three pairs I chose two. I just knew they were more expensive because the pocket linings are good. They were 186y a pair but if they last then I don’t mind - I just hope I marked the right length for the “alter the length of trousers” lady. I will find out when I try to wear them.

I think it was March when the butcher spayed Eeyore. Tonight she is displaying all the traits of wanting a mate again. Not as vocal admittedly but she is presenting herself to Tigger and Pooh for a seeing-to. Tigger is unmoved but Pooh - bless him because he can’t any more than Tigger can - is doing his best to simulate sex. What with this and the dog at the restaurant constantly trying to mount Robin, it is all rather unnecessary.

I’ve had enough. Watching some downloads is on the cards!