Friday 29th March, 2013        1530

Well I wasn’t too happy this morning because rather than being reasonably warm as expected, it was damned chilly. I wasn’t so much concerned about me but Lottie - riding on a bike in a cold and windy cage can’t be pleasant. However, by noon the sun appeared and I was after all able to follow my plan.

Again, she protested loudly all the way there (and back) and continued complaining even when confronted in the vets by an enormous dog that looked a bit like a malamute only much, much bigger which gave the impression of wanting to make her an early lunch. I left her there for half an hour while I did a couple of things in town and when I returned I got the job of holding her for the stitches to be removed. She was having none of it and in the end I had no choice but to hold her up by the scruff of the neck. Such fuss over something which was over in less than two minutes.

I had to do my washing today by way of pouring umpteen buckets into the machine at intervals. I am informed they don’t keep spares on campus and it is possible the fittings are obsolete so I told them there must be a way of buying a new fitting for the tap and sticking that on to the old hose. Christ, I remember the days of outsize hoses that were popped over taps and then held in place by a circular clip tightened with a screwdriver. Considering the maintenance men here are expert bodgers it can’t be too much to ask.

2030

The pizzas went well. I made six because they are only 9” pans and Qing polished off two when I made them in February. Yvonne (blue cardigan) and Coco (tan jacket) managed three between them, I ate but one, leaving two uncooked spares currently residing in my fridge. We used Kevin’s place as he is downtown and I don’t think there will be any complaints from him (if he comes back tonight) as we only left four glasses to wash up, which I shall do tomorrow anyway. Sadly they asked to come early because Yvonne is dancing tonight, I think she is learning to dance to jazz, and of course when they asked I hadn’t even put the oven on to preheat. Not being able to fit more than one at a time in the oven wasn’t really an issue because they cook in ten minutes anyway. Coco declared them to be as good as Pizza Hut and Yvonne - who was having pizza for the first time simply said “delicious”. It was probably as well they had to leave at eight because all three of us were dog-tired, although I shall try to stay up a little later tonight in the hope of sleeping later. I don’t particularly want to be yawning in my one lesson tomorrow afternoon.  

Saturday 30th            1915

The ride into town this afternoon was the usual affair, fraught with idiots in cars who paid someone to take their driving test in their place with murder in their hearts and a blue truck hell bent on squashing me into the tarmac because he wasn’t going to stop for a red light regardless. However, this time I had a first.

Alongside the road which goes around the lake there are bamboo forests which have recently been thinned out or harvested, probably 50% of the trees have now been felled and taken away to make chopsticks or whatever. I was approaching a man I would estimate was approaching mid-sixties who had stopped his e-bike, saw him get off, look in the verge, look straight at me proceeding at full tilt, bend down and pick up an entire bamboo trunk. To my horror - having seen my proximity and speed - he then swung the trunk so that it was at about my chest height and exactly the width of the road! I had no chance of stopping before it either took me off my bike or removed my head as I ducked. Luckily I knew the car behind me was some way back and there was nothing coming in the opposite direction so I took evasive action and ended up on the opposite verge, thankfully maintaining control and not plummeting into the forest. It was pointless stopping in order to beat an older man senseless so I contented myself with some good old fashioned western curses delivered in my best parade ground/berserk voice. The old fool might not speak English but he was left in no doubt as to my opinion - I even elicited a surprised response from the duffer. Rather gratifyingly, seconds later I heard the following car sounding its horn in a severe “road rage” manner. Maybe the driver of that beat him to a pulp, I can but hope.

I popped into KBW for my lunch and nearly left straight away when I saw there was no sweet pork left (nothing really worth eating otherwise, I only go in to see JinJun and augment the pork with some vegetables) but then spied the last portion of it ready on a small plate. With ten people in front of me in the queue it was odds-on it would be snaffled before I got there. There can’t be a single staff member there who doesn’t know I always have the pork when I go in and despite the fact each server only deals with their own little section, the first one very, very kindly, ignored everyone else and went and got it for me! By way of a thank you I picked my second dish of chicken and peppers from her section!

And then the fun began. I had a table to myself and as I was minding my own business eating my food I noticed a man who patently had absolutely no intention of eating, standing and simply staring at me. I can’t stand staring at the best of times but when I am eating it infuriates me. Twice I stopped and stared him down and he moved off momentarily but then returned. On the third occasion he refused to be stared out, so I threw my arms wide and said loudly, “What??!” Big  mistake. It was interpreted as an invitation to plonk himself down at my table and start gibbering away. Ignoring him didn’t work and rolling my eyes at the staff simply elicited looks and gestures that roughly translated meant that if China had “care in the community” he would be in it. I tried a different tack (I didn’t want to be downright abusive in a packed restaurant, being one of only two Englishmen in the city I am not hard to spot) and when he tried again to engage me in conversation I said “mayo Putonghua” - I have no Mandarin - and when that didn’t work the next time I said “tipudong” - I don’t understand. That didn’t work either but a couple of minutes later I finished my food and lit a cigar, determined he would not drive me out - I still had over an hour before I was teaching and only had a quick shop to do.

That seemed to work because he left. Great I thought. Except he had only gone off to buy some cigarillos and return to offer me one! Give me strength. However, my outright refusal of his offer of what are basically brown Chinese cigarettes DID work because then he did clutter off and I watched amazed as he stood outside accosting passing men and trying to give them smokes. Not one accepted them so perhaps he is well known.

As a foreigner in China I think your ears become accustomed to detecting the word “laowei” regardless of how softly it is whispered. After a few more minutes I didn’t need this ability, for unbelievably I heard a small girl who was leaving the restaurant with her extended family shouting at the top of her voice, “Laowei! Laowei! Laowei!” and turned to see her jumping up and down and pointing excitedly in my direction. After the day I had had up to that point I simply gave a world-weary smile at the little girl but when I spotted that at least her parents had the decency to look a little discomfited, I broke into a genuine grin. In fact the little girl was made up when she looked through the window after they left and I waved nicely to her.

After all that, nothing went wrong and even a class of unruly kids didn’t faze me - I didn’t have to beat any to death (in the news today two young boys did in fact have that happen at a primary school somewhere in China yesterday when a teacher lost their temper) and I made my way home.

Kiki still doesn’t know when she is coming back (although it should be soon) but Qing told me it will be Tuesday or Wednesday. I am really looking forward to seeing her again even though it means tomorrow afternoon I need to do tons of housework. This morning I already made a start with the broom but tomorrow the mop has to come out - not a job I enjoy.