New years eve 2013 1800
I can only report that things went from bad to worse. How I made it through Friday I have no idea but from the moment I finished Friday afternoon until lunchtime yesterday the only times I was out of bed were to pop to the campus shops, cook for the animals or take Pepsi out for her necessaries. Cooking for myself never came into it - I never ate for five days.
Oh, I tried - I bought egg and tomato Sunday, took one forkful and dumped it, ditto the pot noodles yesterday. Today on my way to examine students I felt that unless I got something inside me in all likelihood I would collapse. Accordingly after I finished I went and bought some bananas, three of which have temporarily perked me up. Later I am going to grill a packet of “British” bangers and will have a couple of those with some cheddar - to hell with the health aspect (not that that ever bothers me anyway) I just need some strength and energy back.
Colds and Man Flu I have had aplenty and always ignored them. Sure, you wake up and don’t want to get out of bed but you know that once you do, as the day progresses you will feel better all the time. This was different. I coughed solidly for five days round the clock (I’m surprised the Korean never complained!), had the sweats and shivers and just generally wanted to crawl off and die - I know I am ill if it affects my ale consumption and it did - still is to an extent. It has to have been flu proper.
As a result I pulled out of the teachers concert, leaving Kevin to step in at the last minute - I never even went to watch it yesterday because not only did I not feel up to it but I neither wanted to infect anyone else nor spoil the show by coughing all the way through. This was a Lulu as they say but after the next two days off I hope I will be considerably brighter.
I have also declined invitations to a couple of my classes parties this evening for the same reasons - plus they normally only see me full of vim, vigour and bonhomie, not the miserable carcase I am at present. A somewhat reduced version too it has to be said, for currently I am having difficulty keeping my trousers above ground. Doubtless that will rectify itself in short order.
Not an awful lot more to tell - as you will appreciate, having spent the best part of five days confined to bed I haven’t been up to much - and of course here it is hardly new year even if students use it as an excuse. I am hoping to have a bit more about me on Thursday for having not been shopping all I have for the animals is a constant diet of liver. I had been starting to stock the freezer for the spring festival but never realised I would need it before then!
So thank you very much for your reading during 2013 and I would like to take this opportunity of wishing you all a happy new year followed by a healthy and happy 2014 wherever you are. Sing NeeAnn Kwai Le!
Thursday, 26 December 2013
Boxing day 2013 Noon.
Christmas day was busy. I had examinees after lunch and then the tug-o-war, which we were told would commence at three. Half an hour later things finally started to move because everyone else started drifting down to the south gate. By this time I was getting the feeling that soon I would be ill - you know, when you don’t feel quite right and something inside you tells you it’s going to get worse. Judicial swigs of jing jo kept my mind off it and early on our team were called to the rope.
We lost two straight pulls and exited the competition.
Several mitigating factors should however be taken into consideration. Firstly, the male teachers in our department are in the main of the older generation. Secondly, Kevin had to be pressed into service and he weighs about seven stones wringing wet. Thirdly, because in their minds Ollivier and I had been accorded superhuman status, they counted each of us as one and a half men - as a result the other team had ten whilst we only had nine! It was nonetheless enjoyable to watch as well, the teams were all comprised of teachers and the girls had a group skipping competition as well - see photos kindly provided by Ollivier.
At seven the four foreigners and a student apiece (I of course invited Joanna) went to a restaurant near the south gate. I’m not sure how many bottles of wine we took between us but it was at least eight. The food was lovely and I even chanced upon a dish that was almost an authentic sweet and sour pork, except the taste wasn’t quite right and the pork was actually mini pork meatballs. I had bought Joanna two bottles of perfume, a Breezer and a manicure set and she surprised me by giving me a cigarette case for my cigars. Sadly it is about a quarter of an inch too small but by putting them in on the slant I can fit ten in it so I will use it and treasure it. We left at around ten, by which time the place was empty and judging by the expressions of the staff they wanted to shut up shop. Not taking into account the cost of the wine the food bill was a very surprising 278y - I think all of us were expecting it to be much higher.
I went to bed with a much-worsened cough and fell into a pickled slumber, rudely awoken at eight by Pepsi shaking her collar to go out for a wee. That was all she got, for I felt like I’d been hit by a train and so went back to bed until eleven. It was a struggle even then to walk her round the block and I have abandoned the notion of going to town today. I can only hope I am improved by tomorrow because I have a full day in class and an English corner in the evening being staged by Kevin’s students.
To my immense sadness Kiki sent me a text twenty minutes ago. Her mother passed away in hospital today. She can only have been in her forties and now Kiki has to try and find her father to tell him. He deserted nearly three years ago so she has a task ahead of her.
Christmas day was busy. I had examinees after lunch and then the tug-o-war, which we were told would commence at three. Half an hour later things finally started to move because everyone else started drifting down to the south gate. By this time I was getting the feeling that soon I would be ill - you know, when you don’t feel quite right and something inside you tells you it’s going to get worse. Judicial swigs of jing jo kept my mind off it and early on our team were called to the rope.
We lost two straight pulls and exited the competition.
Several mitigating factors should however be taken into consideration. Firstly, the male teachers in our department are in the main of the older generation. Secondly, Kevin had to be pressed into service and he weighs about seven stones wringing wet. Thirdly, because in their minds Ollivier and I had been accorded superhuman status, they counted each of us as one and a half men - as a result the other team had ten whilst we only had nine! It was nonetheless enjoyable to watch as well, the teams were all comprised of teachers and the girls had a group skipping competition as well - see photos kindly provided by Ollivier.
At seven the four foreigners and a student apiece (I of course invited Joanna) went to a restaurant near the south gate. I’m not sure how many bottles of wine we took between us but it was at least eight. The food was lovely and I even chanced upon a dish that was almost an authentic sweet and sour pork, except the taste wasn’t quite right and the pork was actually mini pork meatballs. I had bought Joanna two bottles of perfume, a Breezer and a manicure set and she surprised me by giving me a cigarette case for my cigars. Sadly it is about a quarter of an inch too small but by putting them in on the slant I can fit ten in it so I will use it and treasure it. We left at around ten, by which time the place was empty and judging by the expressions of the staff they wanted to shut up shop. Not taking into account the cost of the wine the food bill was a very surprising 278y - I think all of us were expecting it to be much higher.
I went to bed with a much-worsened cough and fell into a pickled slumber, rudely awoken at eight by Pepsi shaking her collar to go out for a wee. That was all she got, for I felt like I’d been hit by a train and so went back to bed until eleven. It was a struggle even then to walk her round the block and I have abandoned the notion of going to town today. I can only hope I am improved by tomorrow because I have a full day in class and an English corner in the evening being staged by Kevin’s students.
To my immense sadness Kiki sent me a text twenty minutes ago. Her mother passed away in hospital today. She can only have been in her forties and now Kiki has to try and find her father to tell him. He deserted nearly three years ago so she has a task ahead of her.
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Monday 23rd December, 2013 2115
To utilise that rather stupid football commentator’s remark “It was a game of two halves”, two very different days indeed.
On Sunday I went to do my bit as Santa at the JiuHua hotel - reportedly the most expensive in the city and certainly one which does good food. The kids party was so-so but to be kind it was because nobody there had ever organised anything similar before. They had no idea about sticking to times or how to structure games/activities so as not to drag on too long and as a result it ran well over time. The headmaster even changed my bit the day before, wanting me to stand outside the hotel in the cold to greet the children and their parents as they arrived. I pointed out the error of his ways and we did it my way, where I waited in a room out of sight and made a grand entrance - remember, the vast majority of these kids have never seen a “real” Santa in their lives.
It was a pity that the largest Santa outfit they could buy in the city consisted of trousers that would have circled Cyril Smith’s girth twice, yet the jacket had to be stretched to cover my bulbous bow, resulting in last-minute appeals to the hotel to raid their courtesy sewing kits for safety pins. The cheap plastic belt and buckle was also way too short for a 4 foot circumference. I did though meet Ruby, whose nephew attends the school. She has excellent English and works in Shanghai - in fact she returned there today. I also met Lucy, one of the teachers (wearing a black top in the photos) who I fell in love with instantly and was crushed to find she is engaged to a local policeman.
However, I am pleased to report Santa received a rapturous welcome and my games were also popular. When I found out where the function was to be held and that we were to eat there (all the teachers from the school as well) I happened to mention I had dined once before when my own school treated us for Christmas. With no trace of guile, I mentioned that on that occasion a boar’s head had been produced which despite my misgivings had been utterly delicious. I thought no more about it until one appeared at our after-party dinner! Not the same as the previous one but delicious nonetheless (and costing 200 yuan) - the problem was that as it is mostly fat everyone only ate a little, the result being that I have it in my kitchen in a cauldron of water awaiting the addition of some vegetables tomorrow for me to attempt to turn it into a soup of some sort. Oh, and the headmaster is insistent that he takes me to his parents’ home to stay overnight and see in the Chinese new year at the end of January. Whether it is a Chinese promise or not time will tell, but he is fully aware that although I can leave the cats unattended, Pepsi has to come with us. We shall see but it will be an experience if I actually get to see how they do it rather than just hearing stories.
Now cut to today, when forty minutes before I was going to class to examine the first half of one of my classes. Cinny called and asked if I had done something she asked me for on Friday but which I told her she had no chance until sometime this week because I had so much on. She was desperate for it by tomorrow morning (and for her I emailed it a little earlier so she is happy now) but she also expressed surprise I was examining my classes now when the exams don’t start until a fortnight’s time. I explained we had been told by Prof Fang to complete ours before the other ones started.
Then she hit me.
Everything has changed - including exam methods and score reporting. I wasn’t pleased seeing as I have already done half a class last Wednesday and told all the other classes to either come for their test or take time off and come next week. It also means two weeks extra teaching in both winter and summer when for at least four years we have done it this way. Change I can handle but not the Chinese way - just before you get to the altar, and so I made my views known. I did my exams today as planned and will complete the Wednesday class this week but will have to give those forms two weeks of lessons after. Worse, as of next semester we have to make up lessons missed on national holidays! We have always had to work weekends to catch up the “extra days” they throw in to turn one day into five days off but this is ridiculous. If they are going to do that then I would far prefer not to have any days off at all in term time other than weekends - after all if you have to make up the classes you are not really having any days off. Sadly of course, the students will want their 5 day breaks to go home. The reason for all this? The INSPECTION. Currently the university is only authorised to issue bachelors degrees and they are desperate for master degree status. And they are blundering their way through the process because they have the forward planning ability of an undernourished moth.
No sooner had that bombshell hit me and I had as planned carried out my exams than I went to impart the bad news to Kevin. Whilst there I received another call from a senior student (one of mine) in the students union. Would I play Santa at the Christmas concert in two and a half hours time???!!! It seems obvious that this complete lack of sentience to think in advance starts in the womb. Damned good job I heard about the concert by sheer chance late last week or I may well have had other arrangements tonight but as always I wanted to attend a student function. And even better that I can adlib on a stage!
And guess what? The Santa outfit they have used since I have been here has been disposed of and they bought a new one. Great because I wasn’t happy about using a beard many others have spat through but they bought the biggest one available in the city! Yes, exactly the same as Sundays! Bring on the safety pins yet again!!!
Maybe they WILL dispense with my services in the summer, citing irreconcilable differences between my size and that of available Father Christmas costumes!
Anyway, you have a bumper crop of photos as a result. Tonight's photos from our own concert will be posted in a separate entry right away seeing as I am being prevented by the site.
To utilise that rather stupid football commentator’s remark “It was a game of two halves”, two very different days indeed.
On Sunday I went to do my bit as Santa at the JiuHua hotel - reportedly the most expensive in the city and certainly one which does good food. The kids party was so-so but to be kind it was because nobody there had ever organised anything similar before. They had no idea about sticking to times or how to structure games/activities so as not to drag on too long and as a result it ran well over time. The headmaster even changed my bit the day before, wanting me to stand outside the hotel in the cold to greet the children and their parents as they arrived. I pointed out the error of his ways and we did it my way, where I waited in a room out of sight and made a grand entrance - remember, the vast majority of these kids have never seen a “real” Santa in their lives.
It was a pity that the largest Santa outfit they could buy in the city consisted of trousers that would have circled Cyril Smith’s girth twice, yet the jacket had to be stretched to cover my bulbous bow, resulting in last-minute appeals to the hotel to raid their courtesy sewing kits for safety pins. The cheap plastic belt and buckle was also way too short for a 4 foot circumference. I did though meet Ruby, whose nephew attends the school. She has excellent English and works in Shanghai - in fact she returned there today. I also met Lucy, one of the teachers (wearing a black top in the photos) who I fell in love with instantly and was crushed to find she is engaged to a local policeman.
However, I am pleased to report Santa received a rapturous welcome and my games were also popular. When I found out where the function was to be held and that we were to eat there (all the teachers from the school as well) I happened to mention I had dined once before when my own school treated us for Christmas. With no trace of guile, I mentioned that on that occasion a boar’s head had been produced which despite my misgivings had been utterly delicious. I thought no more about it until one appeared at our after-party dinner! Not the same as the previous one but delicious nonetheless (and costing 200 yuan) - the problem was that as it is mostly fat everyone only ate a little, the result being that I have it in my kitchen in a cauldron of water awaiting the addition of some vegetables tomorrow for me to attempt to turn it into a soup of some sort. Oh, and the headmaster is insistent that he takes me to his parents’ home to stay overnight and see in the Chinese new year at the end of January. Whether it is a Chinese promise or not time will tell, but he is fully aware that although I can leave the cats unattended, Pepsi has to come with us. We shall see but it will be an experience if I actually get to see how they do it rather than just hearing stories.
Now cut to today, when forty minutes before I was going to class to examine the first half of one of my classes. Cinny called and asked if I had done something she asked me for on Friday but which I told her she had no chance until sometime this week because I had so much on. She was desperate for it by tomorrow morning (and for her I emailed it a little earlier so she is happy now) but she also expressed surprise I was examining my classes now when the exams don’t start until a fortnight’s time. I explained we had been told by Prof Fang to complete ours before the other ones started.
Then she hit me.
Everything has changed - including exam methods and score reporting. I wasn’t pleased seeing as I have already done half a class last Wednesday and told all the other classes to either come for their test or take time off and come next week. It also means two weeks extra teaching in both winter and summer when for at least four years we have done it this way. Change I can handle but not the Chinese way - just before you get to the altar, and so I made my views known. I did my exams today as planned and will complete the Wednesday class this week but will have to give those forms two weeks of lessons after. Worse, as of next semester we have to make up lessons missed on national holidays! We have always had to work weekends to catch up the “extra days” they throw in to turn one day into five days off but this is ridiculous. If they are going to do that then I would far prefer not to have any days off at all in term time other than weekends - after all if you have to make up the classes you are not really having any days off. Sadly of course, the students will want their 5 day breaks to go home. The reason for all this? The INSPECTION. Currently the university is only authorised to issue bachelors degrees and they are desperate for master degree status. And they are blundering their way through the process because they have the forward planning ability of an undernourished moth.
No sooner had that bombshell hit me and I had as planned carried out my exams than I went to impart the bad news to Kevin. Whilst there I received another call from a senior student (one of mine) in the students union. Would I play Santa at the Christmas concert in two and a half hours time???!!! It seems obvious that this complete lack of sentience to think in advance starts in the womb. Damned good job I heard about the concert by sheer chance late last week or I may well have had other arrangements tonight but as always I wanted to attend a student function. And even better that I can adlib on a stage!
And guess what? The Santa outfit they have used since I have been here has been disposed of and they bought a new one. Great because I wasn’t happy about using a beard many others have spat through but they bought the biggest one available in the city! Yes, exactly the same as Sundays! Bring on the safety pins yet again!!!
Maybe they WILL dispense with my services in the summer, citing irreconcilable differences between my size and that of available Father Christmas costumes!
Anyway, you have a bumper crop of photos as a result. Tonight's photos from our own concert will be posted in a separate entry right away seeing as I am being prevented by the site.
Saturday, 21 December 2013
Saturday 21st December, 2013 2030
Wednesday night I took Yvonne to the Japanese restaurant and on Thursday I decided that I would leave Saturday as a free day during which I would stay on campus taking it easy before playing Santa on Sunday afternoon and so went to town and did my shopping.
Friday was awful with 6 lessons followed by rehearsal (rehearsal my backside it was a first attempt - I’ve had no chance whatever to try to get the Chinese poem right, consequently I completely mangled their language!) and then once home, Sonya from the ABC bank - remember the skipping and aerobics interbank competition in the summer - sent a message asking me what time I was coming to town over the weekend. Apart from being driven to and from town tomorrow playing Santa I had no intention of going anywhere near but as she had been so sweet as to buy me a small Christmas gift of a tub of Snickers, apple and a rum cocktail there was no way I couldn’t make the journey.
So I invited Mulan for a Japanese meal (well it IS my favourite restaurant at the moment!). She isn’t one of my students, in fact she is a history major who really wants to swap to English and for two months she has religiously attended my 0820 class on Friday mornings. Her story is quite sad, although if I am honest that is only part of the reason I invited her, I enjoy talking with her as well because amazingly she still embraces life. She went to JiuHua mountain earlier in the week and never stopped sending me messages all the while in her exuberance for the nature she encountered.
She is the eldest of three and when she was six, her sister four and brother three, their parents simply upped sticks and abandoned all three of them. They haven’t been seen since. An uncle apparently made the decision not to marry so he could assist in supporting them as they grew up and even now assists financially. They have received some state aid plus more from social societies but all three are attending different universities having gained scholarships. They have had it hard but are making more than a go of it. Whilst I can understand a father buggering off, both parents doing it together simply beggars belief and it is incredible Mulan harbours no bitterness that I can detect.
Anyway, we met at four by the campus shops (where I took a photo of some students selling pot noodles dressed in Christmas gear) and off we went to get the bus. Far too cold for the bike now seeing as it is dipping into minus figures in the evenings. To my surprise she also wanted to present me with a gift for Christmas - see the photos! She only finished it last night, she must have been knitting that scarf for weeks now! She also gave a me a card (of the bloody Arc De Triomphe of all things!) and I thought it was ever so nice of her to do it even if the scarf is rather bright - but it does keep the neck warm! I shall cherish it for many years to come.
We went to the bank to see Sonya, at one point after they had closed having to hide in the staff room while the armed security guards came to collect all the cash (being a small branch no cash is kept out of opening hours) and I made tentative arrangements to take Sonya and a friend out for dinner during the spring festival holidays.
Onwards to the Japanese. They were surprised to see me again so soon but obviously pleased as it meant another couple of hundred yuan in the till. I got Mulan to try oysters, sushi, curry and other things. And sake. In all my life I have never seen anyone get so comprehensively drunk in so short a space of time. She had just two thimbles of the stuff and promptly spilt her bowl of seaweed and egg soup all over the cooking area! She was however determined she would finish the small mini-carafe I had paid for. She didn’t because I ended up drinking the remaining dregs but one minute she was chatting away merrily with a young girl eating with her parents and the next there was impending disaster.
I managed to steer her outside in time for her to throw up on a patch of grass!
For all that we both enjoyed our time together although quite what her roommates said when I got the cab to drop her off at her dormitory is anyone’s guess!
Wednesday night I took Yvonne to the Japanese restaurant and on Thursday I decided that I would leave Saturday as a free day during which I would stay on campus taking it easy before playing Santa on Sunday afternoon and so went to town and did my shopping.
Friday was awful with 6 lessons followed by rehearsal (rehearsal my backside it was a first attempt - I’ve had no chance whatever to try to get the Chinese poem right, consequently I completely mangled their language!) and then once home, Sonya from the ABC bank - remember the skipping and aerobics interbank competition in the summer - sent a message asking me what time I was coming to town over the weekend. Apart from being driven to and from town tomorrow playing Santa I had no intention of going anywhere near but as she had been so sweet as to buy me a small Christmas gift of a tub of Snickers, apple and a rum cocktail there was no way I couldn’t make the journey.
So I invited Mulan for a Japanese meal (well it IS my favourite restaurant at the moment!). She isn’t one of my students, in fact she is a history major who really wants to swap to English and for two months she has religiously attended my 0820 class on Friday mornings. Her story is quite sad, although if I am honest that is only part of the reason I invited her, I enjoy talking with her as well because amazingly she still embraces life. She went to JiuHua mountain earlier in the week and never stopped sending me messages all the while in her exuberance for the nature she encountered.
She is the eldest of three and when she was six, her sister four and brother three, their parents simply upped sticks and abandoned all three of them. They haven’t been seen since. An uncle apparently made the decision not to marry so he could assist in supporting them as they grew up and even now assists financially. They have received some state aid plus more from social societies but all three are attending different universities having gained scholarships. They have had it hard but are making more than a go of it. Whilst I can understand a father buggering off, both parents doing it together simply beggars belief and it is incredible Mulan harbours no bitterness that I can detect.
Anyway, we met at four by the campus shops (where I took a photo of some students selling pot noodles dressed in Christmas gear) and off we went to get the bus. Far too cold for the bike now seeing as it is dipping into minus figures in the evenings. To my surprise she also wanted to present me with a gift for Christmas - see the photos! She only finished it last night, she must have been knitting that scarf for weeks now! She also gave a me a card (of the bloody Arc De Triomphe of all things!) and I thought it was ever so nice of her to do it even if the scarf is rather bright - but it does keep the neck warm! I shall cherish it for many years to come.
We went to the bank to see Sonya, at one point after they had closed having to hide in the staff room while the armed security guards came to collect all the cash (being a small branch no cash is kept out of opening hours) and I made tentative arrangements to take Sonya and a friend out for dinner during the spring festival holidays.
Onwards to the Japanese. They were surprised to see me again so soon but obviously pleased as it meant another couple of hundred yuan in the till. I got Mulan to try oysters, sushi, curry and other things. And sake. In all my life I have never seen anyone get so comprehensively drunk in so short a space of time. She had just two thimbles of the stuff and promptly spilt her bowl of seaweed and egg soup all over the cooking area! She was however determined she would finish the small mini-carafe I had paid for. She didn’t because I ended up drinking the remaining dregs but one minute she was chatting away merrily with a young girl eating with her parents and the next there was impending disaster.
I managed to steer her outside in time for her to throw up on a patch of grass!
For all that we both enjoyed our time together although quite what her roommates said when I got the cab to drop her off at her dormitory is anyone’s guess!
