Silly time I know but I am out of kilter.
Leaving summer camp was a relief although I never went anywhere near heavenly village, we were in fact somewhere close(ish) to Luan. When we left we boarded our coach for a trip to a museum - I know not where. Instead of having the entire back seat to myself, this time a porky boy and two girls decided they wanted to sit with me. Fine by me, one of the girls (Kate) was a little cutie I am now in love with.
We left after “lunch” (I just had a beer as it was equally as awful as previous meals) and I had a previously unthinkable notion. When I got back I was going to Mcdonald’s for “proper” food! That’s how bad it was and even the kids complained. When Chinese children don’t like the food it has to be really dire.
We travelled for an hour and a half and the driver (Gregory Peck) got lost. Eventually though he found the museum. I had seen it half an hour before and thought it a likely candidate but being unable to read Chinese I had no certainty. I wished I had said something. The museum was rubbish. Hardly any English translations and not a lot to see, just patriotic stuff and some boring Qing and Tang (no Ming) dynasty potteries. I was glad to leave.
The kids were hungry and so I invited four of the girls to contact their parents to get permission for me to treat them at McDonald’s, which they did. Sadly, because it took us 7.5 hours to get back (as opposed to 3 to get there) by the time we did the parents had changed their minds as it was too late. I ate alone.
I got my laundry done and it was dry by the time I was ready to leave yesterday. My bike is now at the airport hopefully and I checked in. did I want a window or aisle seat was the question. No difference to me in first class on a short flight so I just said if I could get the seat next to the remaining unsold one it would be fine. The girl just smiled and told me I was the only first class passenger! Ctrip tell porkies then.
I boarded at three ready for a 1530 takeoff and took my seat in the 1st class cabin. I had my choice of any so just plonked myself down. Boarding completed, the bridge was removed from the plane and the doors shut. Then came the news that ATC had not cleared us for takeoff. Bloody marvellous. When you are late the damned things take off on time, why can’t they when you are on time yourself? An hour and a half we waited doing nothing. Ok I was given an orange juice and then later red wine (economy I think got nothing!) until eventually we were cleared. I had sent Joanna a message to let the hotel know I would be later than planned.
It being such a short flight there was no meal but I was given nuts and fresh fruit. To my horror I developed severe toothache en route which is still with me now. I have to eat on one side and when drinking I have to tilt my head otherwise the pain is excruciating. I can handle bone surgery conscious but toothache has to be the worst thing on earth.
Before landing I decided to pay a visit to the loo and so went through the screen to economy because they are at the rear. I got thrown out! Unbeknown to me there were special 1st class toilets near to the doors through which you board. Exactly the same as any others but I had to be segregated!
We landed an hour and a half later obviously and then something odd happened. In China the minute the wheels hit the tarmac everyone is up getting their bags and waiting at the exits while the plane is still taxiing. Not this time. The hordes were held back and I had to be first off! There is a schoolof thought which says 1st class luggage comes off first. I can testify that it most certainly does not. I had to wait just like everyone else. Pity. I had needed to put mine in the hold because of my liquids, knife and corkscrew otherwise I could have taken it in the cabin.
On exiting some lovely people offered to take me to my hotel for the very low price of 400y. I knew at 26km it wasn’t going to be cheap but even when I told them I was no newcomer and was not on western wages the price only came down to 350y with the injunction I would have to wait ages for a proper taxi. A taxi arrives at the rank every 2 seconds at Honqiao airport so I waited not at all. Thanks to Joanna I have the world’s hardest to find hotel because even the cabbie got lost and had to speak to her thrice on the phone but at least it is quiet. Pity it appears they turn off the cooling for the central aircon at night - complaint later today coming from me because I won’t be able to get under a sheet. No minibar/fridge as advertised either so their online review is being formulated. No lobby bar either. I am getting hacked off with being told things only to find they are fiction.
Joanna came and we walked “a short way” - for that read route march - to get some food. We plumped for Papa John’s pizza which was great but we could both only eat half. The remains she took for her roommates. Tomorrow we are going to Bollywood where hopefully Roland, Joanna, Rinka, Anna and I will all have a nice curry. As it is now nearly 0400 it is time to surrender and try to get some warm sleep.
Saturday 23rd 1300
Yesterday I slept late and in the afternoon ventured out for some less than fresh air local to the hotel. Coming across a small spit and sawdust dumpling restaurant that served bin pijou, I rested awhile. Anna was on her way already and as her parents live on the other side of Shanghai it was taking her a bit of time - nearly three hours in fact. As the final leg of her journey from the subway was going to be on foot I decided to stay in the restaurant. As aforementioned the hotel is a bugger to find and where I was sitting was on the corner of the main road and the small one leading to my temporary home. Eventually she found me.
Joanna was hoping to finish work at five so it was organised that Rinka (who was teaching until 1630) and Roland would go to The Big Bamboo bar at six, Joanna would get a taxi and come and collect the pair of us from the hotel. As always, plans went astray. Joanna got stuck in a meeting so I said we would go and she could follow when she finished. Easier said than done. Although the main road had plenty of passing cabs they were either occupied or if empty, simply stared at me hailing them and drove past! After some time fruitlessly waving like a lunatic at anything remotely looking as if it would take us to the bar, Joanna said she had finished work.
Change plan again. I said to her to get a taxi and pick us up. No point in paying two fares. Ten minutes later she sent to me that she also was unable to hail one! By now I was in high dudgeon so I took Anna and positioned us near the traffic lights to carry out Operation Hi-Jack. At the first opportunity wherein there was a red light I saw an empty taxi and chivvied Anna to quickly get in, whilst I jumped in the front so he had no chance to get away. I’m not sure he was overly happy but the final bill was a respectable 90y so he made money.
The Big Bamboo turned out to be about a minute’s walk from the Irish bar I was drinking in three years ago and it’s really very nice. Plenty of girls serving drinks at the tables and the place was full of laoweis - in fact probably more in one place than I have seen in the whole of China since I was last here, very lively indeed. After drinks we crossed the road to Bollywood for an Indian meal. Joanna was the only one of the girls who had eaten Indian food (in Nanjing with me) before so they were enthusiastic. Certainly we ordered enough variety for them - tikka, bhoona, sharing platter etc - to sample most genres. Sadly my own dish of prawn and mushroom curry proved too spicy for my wimpish palate but it didn’t stop me from enjoying the occasion. The damage for all this was just over 1,100y which meant by the night’s end I had spent over a week’s wages!
After the restaurant it was back to the bar to play pool, at which I played dismally whilst Roland played a blinder, the reverse of three years ago. Joanna surprised us all by pulling off some terrific shots and it was good to see her and Anna having a good time. Rinka had left early as she had to teach this morning.
Today I am doing nothing but finally post this blog and gaze out of my hotel window at a Shanghai skyline shrouded in pollution and being regaled with the sound of distant thunder. Yesterday morning I complained about the air conditioning. A woman came, fiddled with the controls and indicated she had fixed it. She hadn’t, so I complained the cleaner who made a phone call. A technician arrived, looking very competent with a fist full of tools, did nothing and left! Fair enough I thought, I will simply complain to reception when I go out. Five minutes later though the phone rang and a voice in halting English said “Please sir, change room”. I can’t fault them for that even though it involved lugging my gear up to the next floor but I now have a nice cool room.
While I was typing the last paragraph, my mobile went. Joanna and Anna are arriving in ten minutes so it seems the posting of this will have to wait! I must remember to tell you about the toilet in this room when I resume.
1400
Ok they are here and at the moment just watching my TV so I will try to get this posted before it becomes an epic.
Right, back to the toilet. On moving rooms I discovered I had a rather odd loo. It has a control panel with eleven buttons on it attached to one side of the pan, a bit like a very low armrest. I had no idea what it was for but assumed it was for disabled people. Posting about it online yesterday, one person suggested it was to wash your rear end after you finish your business, not a prospect that held any allure for me. Curiosity got the better of me this morning and before using it I pressed every button to see what would happen. Nothing.
I cleaned my teeth and shaved before having a “sit down” and as soon as my buttocks touched the seat I shot straight off in shock. It is heated! Not unpleasantly so but when it is completely unexpected (and the first time you have encountered it) it does take you by surprise. The girls have now investigated it and after I heard much giggling from the bathroom I was informed that it can massage your bum as well. I don’t think I will be using any of these amenities and to be quite honest I can’t think of anyone who would!
So that’s it for now, the quest continues for western food later on. Rinka can’t come this evening but Roland is bringing his son and hopefully his wife. And he’s paying. Here are the remainder of the summer boot camp photos of the museun, our local airport and Shanghai so far.
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