I really regretted my trip yesterday but not for the reason I expected. Certainly I arrived at the station to find it thronged. There were some of my ex students there - naturally - as it was the first day of their holiday as well as being the day modern China celebrated her 65th birthday.
Safe in the knowledge that I had bought my tickets for seats and not standing, I was prepared to turf anyone parked in my seat out if necessary. There is no way I can stand for any length of time on a train in motion, not these days. However, as we left Chizhou, although I was sitting in a pod of four seats with three young people, I noticed opposite there were four empty ones and so moved there. Great thought I, I hope this is the case all the way.
Sadly, as indeed when I travelled to Huainan and the same happened, when we got to the first stop (which was Tongling) the train filled up and so I had to take my proper place again. Yes there were people who had only bought standing tickets but it wasn’t the horror story I had been told and I sat peacefully with my crossword book and Jing Jo, occasionally visiting the vestibule for a cigar.
In Wuhu I had two and a half hours to kill and bearing in mind my anticipated late arrival, I wanted something to eat. With a small travelling suitcase that weighed almost as much as the bigger one I would use for flying to the UK (I had packed wine and things for the hotel room as I knew the shops would probably be closed when I got there) and having had already scaled far too many steps, I didn’t want to walk far. I found a small restaurant annexed to Wuhu train station just outside. No beer but the shop next door sold it so I bought one and then ordered egg and tomato. I expected steamed rice to come with it, especially as the price was 15y (expensive) but no such luck. In fairness there was plenty of egg - normally it’s mostly tomato - and it was enough to satisfy me.
As I had bought the last cold beer the shop had, I decided to go back into the station in search of more. My train (of course!) meant I had to climb to the 3rd floor. By the time I got to the top I was not only done in but also needed the loo. There was a shop selling cold pijou so I went in intending to go to the toilet and then buy beer from them to pass the hour I still had to kill. On asking I was told the toilet was on the ground floor. Shit. No way was I dragging my case all the way back down and then up again so with body language I asked if they could look after my bag for a few minutes. They pointed to CCTV screens. Bigger shit. Worried perhaps I was a Uiyghur terrorist wearing a fat foreigner disguise. I decided to “tie a knot in it” because I truly wasn’t going down the mountain and back up again. The shop lost at least two overpriced pijous worth of custom for their lack of trust.
The ensuing six hour train trip was pretty packed and with standing passengers but they didn’t impinge too much on me. I read the book (Is That Fat Foreigner Rich? - available on Amazon) I bought from the owner of the Flying Fox and author in Shanghai in the summer, drank my medicine wine and took the occasional bite from my bologna baguette. When I finally arrived in Yiwu at 2205 I was jaded to say the least. At least I didn’t get a rip off taxi, the guy went on the meter and 32y later I was deposited at the entrance to my 4 star business hotel (the highest is 4 stars in China).
For the second time (and both have been 4 star hotels), my foreign expert certificate was insufficient to check in, only my passport would do. That irked me because not only does it state in both English and Chinese that it is my ID in China, when hotels copy it they send it to the PSB to register you there. The PSB actually ISSUE that document!!! This is China. The manager was called. Yes we could probably take your FEC but a passport is better for us. I caved in because I couldn’t be bothered arguing. I was then told the room I had booked was not available but as a special favour for an honoured foreign guest (a likely story) I could have a free upgrade. I responded by saying that for free they could give me the presidential suite (on the 26th floor) for all I cared. Ah, but you will have your minibar. I retorted that they advertise all rooms as having them. What I actually have is a mini fridge that had a can of coke and three cans of milk. Minibar my backside but sufficient for me to keep my own beer in.
After going to my room I went straight down to the lobby bar (yes this time they have one) and had three very small bottles (expensive at 20y apiece) and then went back up. I was so tired I could only drink half a bottle of my wine before collapsing into bed. I set my alarm for 0830 as I knew I would be starving this morning having eaten very little yesterday. Western breakfast is included in the price so I was looking forward to at the very least bacon and eggs with some toast. When I went for breakfast it was business as usual. There were dumplings, snot soup, noodles and other unmentionables but nothing remotely resembling a western breakfast. I enquired where to get a western breakfast and a waitress appeared to twig what I was after and promptly sent me to the toilets!!!
Now, I had gone to the 24th floor (my room is on the 16th) because the bloody lift would only go to the 24th and then go back down and yet the book in the room said the western place was the 26th floor. I wasn’t pleased and so went to reception to ask how the hell I could get the breakfast I was expecting. I was intercepted by Vivian (now called Jasmin) who hadn’t told me she was arriving so early. She was waiting for Coco but had spotted, as she put it, a belly arriving. I got her to ask reception. 24th floor was the reply. Right, so no western breakfast available then.
Come on Vivian, there is a McDonald’s in the hotel, I can still get a bacon and egg McMuffin. That was breakfast and it may well be the same tomorrow if I wake up in time. Annoying because by rights I should have my breakfast included and in McD I have to pay. By Chinese standards I am paying a lot at £30 a night so it rankles. Who else besides the Chinese can face dumplings, noodles and snot soup first thing in the morning??
Anyway, after my breakfast I got Vivian to complain about the aircon. We were told it was turned off. It is central a/c and not individual and my room was warm all night. Sure, in October it is normally cool but right now it is 26 degrees, pleasant outside but not in a bedroom. I am pleased to say that as I sit here my room is now cool so perhaps they have turned it back on and are hoping my internet review will be a good one!
Anyway after breakfast the three of us went to what is billed as the biggest market in the world with over half a million different products on offer. Which one did I want to go to they asked? There are different sections for different items so I chose the festival decorations one. This was because I will probably yet again be Santa this Christmas and the suit the uni has is too small and poor quality. I wondered if I could buy a decent one myself that actually fitted. We went there and there was everything you could want to decorate your home for Christmas - trees, baubles, you name it they had it. And yes, Santa outfits and one big enough and of good quality to fit fatty here. I will take one, for 100y. Vivian informed me I couldn’t buy one because the entire market and all the others are wholesale only. Now I am not exactly going to buy a hundred Father Christmas kits am I? I can however buy one in November when they sell retail!
I will not be returning next month but I suggested perhaps the girls could buy me what I want and send it to me if I gave them enough to cover the cost of both purchasing and sending it. Oh no, they want to pay and send it to me as their gift. I forget what Coco is doing at present and will find out tonight but Vivian is a pre-kindergarten teacher (bugger that). So far today they have paid for the taxis and I paid 35y for lunch - I never ate but had a couple of drinks - so I have told them I will pay for dinner tonight. Having said one of my two remaining nights here will be eating at Pizza Hut, the plan tonight is for curry and as luck would have it, Trip Advisor has an Indian restaurant as the number one expat place to eat here, the Mughal Durbar. I really hope it lives up to the customer reviews as neither of the girls has had a curry before. Right now it is time for a nap. This entry is rapidly becoming an epic!
2230
Let’s put this one to bed eh?
We went to the number one restaurant in Yiwu and after I finish this blog it will still be the number one. Sadly, as happens so often when you are being hurried by a beautiful girl, I forgot to take my camera. Not that important though because to be honest it would only have been mainly pictures of the food. But superb food. As always I ordered too much but when you have no idea of portion sizes it is difficult to know. The front of house “face” Manish did me a favour and suggested (knowing how much food was coming whereas I didn’t) that it would be better to just order two prawn curries rather than three and he was absolutely right. The girls and I were well and truly stuffed at the end and it was a great dinner. Not only that, Coco works for a plastics company and now she has “networked” with Manish who will now recommend his Indian customers to get prices from her firm for plates, bowls etc. That’s how it works in both India and China.
Considering we also had after dinner drinks of Baileys and for myself two large Bombay Sapphires and tonic, I was pleasantly surprised when the bill was only 500y. The girls paid for the taxis both ways.
Tomorrow it will just be Vivian and me as Coco has to work and dinner will indeed be Pizza Hut, one of their branches being a stones throw from the hotel. Vivian is not keen on Pizza but I have assured her she can get steak and many other things instead. She seems concerned that on Saturday I will leave alone because neither of them can take a day off just to escort me to the station, which is sweet but I am a big boy now and I never visited to cost them money.
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