One day just maybe one of my trips will go without a hitch!
On Monday morning I went to the bus station and paid 80y for my ticket to Hefei. The place was mobbed and of course the queue for the bus I wanted just had to be the longest, didn’t it? I joined it and then almost immediately the gate opened and people were let through. It was patently obvious that the bus I was looking at was incapable of carrying everyone and so with an inner sigh I realised I would have to wait another half an hour before the next one was due. Worse, it meant I didn’t dare go to the smoking area because I would lose my place with the inevitable result that I would leave even later.
As expected, the bus quickly filled to capacity but seconds later another bus pulled in next to it. This was one of those you sit on the top deck and are much more comfortable because they only have two seats on the left and one on the right. And yes, clearly additional vehicles had been drafted in for the rush. Great. Not long afterwards I was aboard and had bagged a single seat. In fact we left before the previous bus did so my luck was in.
The driver never stopped for the customary toilet break so not only did I have to hold it in but I couldn’t smoke either. I had though taken my snuff for just such an eventuality. The bus duly arrived at Hefei South after three hours and to my consternation everyone seemed to be disembarking bar me. I needed Hefei North as the cab from there costs about 10y whereas from South it is a lot more. One of the last to get off was a girl who spoke a little English and so I asked her if the bus would go to the north station. “Yes, yes” said she so I settled back in my reclining leather seat. We never embarked any more passengers though and I thought that was a bit odd and we left the station, the only person who had got on was an “aunty” who was downstairs with the driver chatting away as he drove.
Being alone on the top deck I decided to be a bit naughty and have a couple of puffs on a cigar. Ducking down behind the seat in front of me so as not to be caught on camera, I lit one, took a few drags and then put it back in my cigarette case. We had been driving for about ten minutes when I coughed. The bus had just stopped at red lights and suddenly there were exclamations from downstairs and the driver shot up the stairs, aghast that someone was still aboard. Using body language I explained I wanted the north station. He in turn made it quite plain he wasn’t going there but was in fact returning to Chizhou! Had I fallen asleep I could well have ended up back where I started and the stay in Hefei would never have happened! I got off and waited for a passing taxi, wondering just how much this was going to cost me now as I hadn‘t the foggiest where I was.
It wasn’t as bad as I feared as it was only 35y and unbelievably when we got there the main road was still closed outside the hotel. It was scheduled to be for two years and it is way past that now. Checking in, the receptionist said “You want a no smoking room sir?”
“Oh no, no - smoking”, said I. Then he said “Wait a moment, the manager wants to speak to you” and he called her. I wondered what was going to go wrong now but it was the VIP welcome and to inform me that I would have a welcome bowl of fruit and I could avail myself of the executive lounge facilities. She even carried my small bag up to the luxurious and spacious room.
After she left I opened a bottle of wine I had bought and poured a glass, intending to have a nap before the girls were due to arrive at six. By now I was gasping for a smoke and looked in vain for an ashtray. Then I spotted the warning sign that were I to smoke there would be a deep cleaning fee of 900y - I had been given a non smoking room. A call to downstairs and two minutes later someone came with the card for a room on the floor below on the 24th. Same room and to be honest it didn’t smell smoky.
I never got my sleep and at six Vivian (who made my video) arrived. Anna was late, her taxi having been caught up in traffic but when she finally arrived I suggested we go to the executive lounge for a complimentary drink before going to the Happy Panda for dinner. The manager had informed me I should just sign for the meal even though I did tell her there would be three of us.
Vivian went for scotch which she thought too “hot“ and I suggested she put lemonade in, I had a large G&T (you just help yourself) and I thought Anna had taken a white wine. Unbeknown to me she had copied Vivian. I wasn’t going to waste half a can of tonic so got another one a little later, so did the girls but Anna this time did plump for wine. Then it was off for dinner. Every time I have been to the restaurant before it was a buffet affair and paradise on earth for gourmands. It has now changed to either a set menu or a la carte. The food is still excellent but the place was almost empty, such a shame. If possible I was treated even more like royalty than when I used to stay with Steve when he was the gaffer. I ordered fish and chips (delicious but far too big for me), Vivian an Australian steak which looked very tender and was certainly the best I have seen in China, while Anna went for the mixed grill.
She then promptly announced she was drunk. Given that she had drunk a large brandy in Shanghai in the summer I thought she was joking after just two glasses of plonk. It was then that I found out she had taken a generous helping of malt. Anna decided she would sleep on the table (see photo) and a little later Vivian had to take her to the ladies - in fact this happened three times but to her credit she never embarrassed me aside from not being capable of touching her enormous mixed grill which had the biggest prawn I think I have ever seen, along with steak, sausage etc. She did sober up a little after the third visit to the toilet and after we sent her plate back to the kitchen for reheating she did make an effort to eat as much as she could.
Dinner over, I suggested we go up to the room. I was concerned about Anna perhaps being taken advantage of if she took a taxi or worse, during the summer holidays four university students were raped and killed elsewhere in China. I suggested I accommodate her for the night, after all we were going to travel back together but she flatly refused. To compromise I suggested she have a lie down while Vivian and I went for post prandial drinks in the Soho sports bar. She agreed.
The bar has a pool table so we played a couple of games and had a drink or four before returning to the room to wake up Anna. As it was well past eleven it was too late for her to go home and so reluctantly she agreed she should stay in the safety of the hotel. I was glad.
In the morning I took her to breakfast. I rarely eat breakfast, especially so in China given the offerings but the Hilton does a passable impression of a full English even if the chef uses chopsticks when frying your eggs. it really set me up for the day with bangers, eggs sunny side up, tomato, hash browns and fresh toast (another one afterwards with marmalade). It literally did set me up for the day as that was all I ate. Anna on the other hand opted for the Chinese option. Steamed bun, noodles, sushi and huge amounts of cake!
Back in the room I finished packing (Anna didn’t need to as she only had what she was wearing the night before) and polished off the last of my wine. I then discovered she had snaffled everything that was of any possible use to her! The moisturiser, shampoo, conditioner etc had all disappeared into her bag along with all the fruit in the free bowl! Knowing as I do now that even unused toiletries are dumped when a guest leaves, there was no guilt whatsoever, I was simply annoyed at myself for forgetting to nick a pair of slippers.
Then it was taxi time to Anna’s home for her to collect her bag and laptop. I opted to stay nearby her building in a café drinking a beer and reading the complimentary China Daily while she was saying goodbye to her parents. Another cab to the bus station and needlessly she paid for both our bus tickets. We managed to get “contiguous” seats and once again the bus never stopped on the way back. Good job I used the loo in the café.
The plan was for Anna to ride back to school on my bike with me, hence I had only taken a small bag so as to have room for her luggage. The bus was entirely populated with our students and when we got to Chizhou station there were conversations between the driver and passengers. I stood up to get our bags down and Anna said to me that the driver was going to take everyone to our south gate so we should stay on board. She had forgotten already that my bike was in the station car park! We were the only ones who got off. It was though a nice gesture from the driver and I hope the students appreciated it.
By the time we got back I was so tired and thanked my luck that I had no classes today.
This morning I got up deliberately early for two reasons. One was that I needed to post bail for Pepsi who had spent eight days in a cage and the other that I knew I would be hungry, having only eaten breakfast yesterday. That plus the fact I need to get up at six on Thursdays and Fridays this term. The McMuffin was most welcome, as was the bottle of free body wash I was given even though I won’t use it. Yvonne will I am sure.
Pepsi was overjoyed at being paroled on her own recognizance and I was rewarded with an even greater bowel movement from her than other occasions when I stopped at the first piece of grassland after leaving the vets. I swear she saves it up for me.
My Instacure finally arrived at lunchtime so the only thing I haven’t got now in order to take a bash at making ham is the pork itself. Had I known this morning I would have bought some but as it stands it will now be Sunday probably before I can go shopping again as we have catch-up classes on Saturday and the language society have asked the laoweis to help with recruiting on their stand. I will probably sit on the stand in the morning on Sunday for a couple of hours and go to town in the afternoon.
Thankfully my observed class has been postponed to Monday which is much better because I will have met all my students by then (I still have four classes I haven’t seen) and as it stood I had no students organised to come to the pretend lesson anyway.
After hearing of my tales of the highlife in the Hilton, Kevin has asked me to make enquiries about discounts at the hotel for three people booking three exec rooms with a view to making that our Christmas do the weekend after the 25th December. We can’t do it on the day because we are all teaching as well as Boxing Day. Whether we will actually do it or not remains to be seen but I am up for it.
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