Friday 27th February, 2015 1515
No change today so now I am starting to sweat.
No change with John either, before he left for the supermarket in town I gave him my wine glass to wash. He took it and that was the last I saw of him! Still he did decide to do my laundry for me. I had another “sit on the throne” shower today so at least I am clean even though I am frustrated with the lack of progress with the leg. If the weather was warm and dry instead of being cold and wet, at a pinch I could have organised it so my classes came up and we had them out on the grass but that’s not an option, sadly. Ah well, I still have four days so just maybe…….
Before John left I made him sit and view pictures I had pulled up on the internet of KFC menus. They do a meal here with chicken “cutlets”, rice and curry sauce which I quite like but I don’t know if it’s one of the “after six” items. That will be perfect to reheat but plan B is for him to get what I wanted yesterday if I can’t have it. If I have to go without food yet another night I am going to beat him to death with a crutch.
Saturday 28th 1400
Well KFC didn’t have what I wanted, for whatever reason, but he did manage this time to bring back chicken quarters, much to my relief. To be fair to him, even though it was before five he wanted to feed me. He asked me how I wanted it so I told him some slices of baguette with butter, then put the chicken in the microwave on full power for two minutes but do the bread first. I didn’t want the chicken to get cold before the bread came.
I think the only thing he didn’t do wrong (and it would not have surprised me in the slightest if he had actually done so) was put butter on the chicken. He microwaved the first lot of bread and he must have put the microwave onto defrost when he did the chicken! I really didn’t have the heart to get him to heat the chicken properly because he must surely know he has gotten everything wrong the entire time and to be honest if I was in his place, I would simply tell me to do it myself. I was ravenous too, so I just ate, thankful of a full belly.
He deserted me a couple of hours ago, I think to go to the arms of his girlfriend. Mulan will be back later but I have no idea if John is staying tonight or not. Kevin on the other hand, is stuck in Nanchang.
He sent a message asking what the weather was like here - gloomy and damp - because they had been told they couldn’t land at Chizhou airport or anywhere else in the province because of the weather. A look at the satellite images revealed the whole province is covered with cloud so I assume turbulence was the issue. However latest reports are that he is back in the airport about to pass through security and they hope to be able to take off in an hour.
Ollivier is returning on Monday and then I suspect all our lives will be irrevocably changed forever. He is bringing - wait for it - his wife and BOTH his kids! And they live next door to me! May the saints preserve us…..
As for the thigh, a very slight improvement although I haven’t tried to move from the room yet so I will find out when the call of nature becomes pressing. Oh yes, nearly forgot - I was having a long lie-in this morning and at about eleven there was an insistent banging on the door. Thank God John was here because Cinny had sent the gas man with a spare bottle. My phone was switched off so of course I had no warning.
I can’t wait for Mulan to get here - this place needs a damned good clean.
Thursday, 26 February 2015
Wednesday 25th February, 2015 1520
This time next week I will hopefully be inching my way down the stairs of the teaching block having finished for the day.
My upper leg is not healing anywhere near as fast as I had hoped (I know you take longer as you age and I did think the doctor’s four days was overly optimistic) and I am now getting concerned whether it will be fit enough for start of play. Still, I have another week left and only a couple of days ago I was in the slough of despond and yet yesterday I got clean and today my face is clean shaven. How people can wear beards is beyond me.
It’s a miserable day today with light rain on and off and from the forecast it is set to stay that way until term starts. It’s also pretty cold but that hasn’t stopped John from running around the flat in just his underpants. I’ve got the heating in here!
The internet is deathly slow and my laptop has been on for three days solid downloading programmes. You would expect that with nobody here it would actually be a respectable speed but it doesn’t work that way.
Thursday 26th 1430
Little change in the leg and as time passes the more I am starting to fret over whether I can work on Wednesday.
John didn’t want to go to town yesterday so, having half a baguette left, I decided as he is completely incapable of cooking anything remotely western he would certainly be able to follow instructions for cheese on toast. I even cut and placed the cheese on the bread and drew a diagram of the oven to show what to do with it and what position the dials should be.
With a beaming smile he brought my “dinner” in. The baguette was still soft and the cheese had barely started to melt. Having ascertained that he had the temperature on 150 and not 250 I asked him to make adjustments and put it under the grill again. I fully expected it to return cremated but thankfully the second attempt was ok.
He’s going to town in a while and I have a list for him, including a new mouseless cord. The current one mysteriously failed to work this morning and a new battery made no difference. That must be the eighth I have had - they seem to last ten minutes. He will also bring some chicken quarters from KFC which we can heat up and have with bread. As I am not getting much in the way of vitamins I have also ordered some fruit for myself.
Mulan was supposed to come back today but she isn’t now. Uncle wants her to teach the baby brother. I mustn’t complain but of course John is a boy and like me, not very good at or willing to do housework. I can’t criticise, after all I pay Lucy to do mine. However, the place is getting grubbier by the day and in Mulan’s favour she is a bloody good cleaner.
And of course let me not forget that but for them being so kind as to look after me I would have had no option but to get a hospital bed where I would have had absolutely nothing - no food, smokes, drinks, TV, internet - anything. I turn pale at the very thought of it!
1740
Mind you, it’s looking grimmer here now. He sent me a text to say that the supermarket had run out of baguettes (or long bread as he puts it). The idea being to have bread and butter with the chicken and Chinese bread being more akin to cake, the only alternative I could think to tell him to buy was a packet of burger buns.
He just got back. No burger buns and no chicken quarters, instead he had bought three chicken burgers from KFC instead of the quarters. Stone cold of course but they can be microwaved. Except the burgers from KFC in China are revolting - they are smothered in coriander which I hate plus all sorts of other things. All I now have to eat between last night and tomorrow night is a bunch of grapes. Can it get any worse I wonder?
This time next week I will hopefully be inching my way down the stairs of the teaching block having finished for the day.
My upper leg is not healing anywhere near as fast as I had hoped (I know you take longer as you age and I did think the doctor’s four days was overly optimistic) and I am now getting concerned whether it will be fit enough for start of play. Still, I have another week left and only a couple of days ago I was in the slough of despond and yet yesterday I got clean and today my face is clean shaven. How people can wear beards is beyond me.
It’s a miserable day today with light rain on and off and from the forecast it is set to stay that way until term starts. It’s also pretty cold but that hasn’t stopped John from running around the flat in just his underpants. I’ve got the heating in here!
The internet is deathly slow and my laptop has been on for three days solid downloading programmes. You would expect that with nobody here it would actually be a respectable speed but it doesn’t work that way.
Thursday 26th 1430
Little change in the leg and as time passes the more I am starting to fret over whether I can work on Wednesday.
John didn’t want to go to town yesterday so, having half a baguette left, I decided as he is completely incapable of cooking anything remotely western he would certainly be able to follow instructions for cheese on toast. I even cut and placed the cheese on the bread and drew a diagram of the oven to show what to do with it and what position the dials should be.
With a beaming smile he brought my “dinner” in. The baguette was still soft and the cheese had barely started to melt. Having ascertained that he had the temperature on 150 and not 250 I asked him to make adjustments and put it under the grill again. I fully expected it to return cremated but thankfully the second attempt was ok.
He’s going to town in a while and I have a list for him, including a new mouseless cord. The current one mysteriously failed to work this morning and a new battery made no difference. That must be the eighth I have had - they seem to last ten minutes. He will also bring some chicken quarters from KFC which we can heat up and have with bread. As I am not getting much in the way of vitamins I have also ordered some fruit for myself.
Mulan was supposed to come back today but she isn’t now. Uncle wants her to teach the baby brother. I mustn’t complain but of course John is a boy and like me, not very good at or willing to do housework. I can’t criticise, after all I pay Lucy to do mine. However, the place is getting grubbier by the day and in Mulan’s favour she is a bloody good cleaner.
And of course let me not forget that but for them being so kind as to look after me I would have had no option but to get a hospital bed where I would have had absolutely nothing - no food, smokes, drinks, TV, internet - anything. I turn pale at the very thought of it!
1740
Mind you, it’s looking grimmer here now. He sent me a text to say that the supermarket had run out of baguettes (or long bread as he puts it). The idea being to have bread and butter with the chicken and Chinese bread being more akin to cake, the only alternative I could think to tell him to buy was a packet of burger buns.
He just got back. No burger buns and no chicken quarters, instead he had bought three chicken burgers from KFC instead of the quarters. Stone cold of course but they can be microwaved. Except the burgers from KFC in China are revolting - they are smothered in coriander which I hate plus all sorts of other things. All I now have to eat between last night and tomorrow night is a bunch of grapes. Can it get any worse I wonder?
Tuesday, 24 February 2015
Tuesday 24th February, 2015 1445
Oh my God that feels so much better!
It was nearly six this morning before I called it a day (night!). I had stayed up late deliberately because Sarah was leaving early and there was no knowing what time the brother would arrive. I didn’t want a long period between getting up and assistance arriving for a trip to the loo. I can do it myself but spindly crutches aren’t much of a deterrent to determined cats trying to infiltrate the bedroom.
To my surprise I slept on and off until nearly one! Shortly after that Sarah returned. I wasn’t expecting that. A little while later the brother turned up. It was John, the affable but utterly gormless one who eats a week’s calories for breakfast alone. He wanted to go out again almost straight away to go and get the shopping and Sarah needed to go back to her students. Great. I asked if they would guard the door while I came out to go to the toilet and asked for a towel to be put in there and a bag over my foot and leg. Sarah asked why the towel and I told her I simply had to get clean because I was rather ripe now. I said if the cats got in when I returned to my room then John would have to capture them on his return. Obliging as ever, she suggested she could stay until I finished.
Just as well really, as in my “haste” I had forgotten to request a new shirt and boxers to be taken in. I also forgot to ask for the soap to be placed within reach. The bathroom is tiled with shiny tiles on the floor as well and gets slippery even for bare feet (no I don’t have a mat, I keep forgetting to buy one) and the crutches don’t have anti-skid rubbers, just some form of plastic. Having only realised the soap wasn’t close after I had undressed, it seemed worth it having a crack at getting it myself. Foolhardy perhaps but I got away with it.
Gone is the greasy hair and B.O. and it has lifted my spirits greatly. As I can’t really stand a sit-down wet shave was possible but given that Sarah was waiting to go I didn’t. It’s grown too long now for the electric razor to tackle so for the foreseeable I will be sporting a moth-eaten grey “designer” face. It’s not as if I am going out socialising. They both waited so I lent them my bike to make up a bit of time.
1800
The lad got exactly what I asked for from the supermarket so no complaints there. Pity Anna’s not here because she should be able to make some of the dishes I do, she has watched and helped so with her it would be easy just to give directions but as she’s not, it is baguettes for me although John bought something Chinese for himself. The others of course can always buy Chinese food, bring it back and reheat in the microwave.
It can be quite difficult to find things to say when you are cooped up the entire day so that’s it for today, Wallander and Father Brown will keep me company tonight.
Oh my God that feels so much better!
It was nearly six this morning before I called it a day (night!). I had stayed up late deliberately because Sarah was leaving early and there was no knowing what time the brother would arrive. I didn’t want a long period between getting up and assistance arriving for a trip to the loo. I can do it myself but spindly crutches aren’t much of a deterrent to determined cats trying to infiltrate the bedroom.
To my surprise I slept on and off until nearly one! Shortly after that Sarah returned. I wasn’t expecting that. A little while later the brother turned up. It was John, the affable but utterly gormless one who eats a week’s calories for breakfast alone. He wanted to go out again almost straight away to go and get the shopping and Sarah needed to go back to her students. Great. I asked if they would guard the door while I came out to go to the toilet and asked for a towel to be put in there and a bag over my foot and leg. Sarah asked why the towel and I told her I simply had to get clean because I was rather ripe now. I said if the cats got in when I returned to my room then John would have to capture them on his return. Obliging as ever, she suggested she could stay until I finished.
Just as well really, as in my “haste” I had forgotten to request a new shirt and boxers to be taken in. I also forgot to ask for the soap to be placed within reach. The bathroom is tiled with shiny tiles on the floor as well and gets slippery even for bare feet (no I don’t have a mat, I keep forgetting to buy one) and the crutches don’t have anti-skid rubbers, just some form of plastic. Having only realised the soap wasn’t close after I had undressed, it seemed worth it having a crack at getting it myself. Foolhardy perhaps but I got away with it.
Gone is the greasy hair and B.O. and it has lifted my spirits greatly. As I can’t really stand a sit-down wet shave was possible but given that Sarah was waiting to go I didn’t. It’s grown too long now for the electric razor to tackle so for the foreseeable I will be sporting a moth-eaten grey “designer” face. It’s not as if I am going out socialising. They both waited so I lent them my bike to make up a bit of time.
1800
The lad got exactly what I asked for from the supermarket so no complaints there. Pity Anna’s not here because she should be able to make some of the dishes I do, she has watched and helped so with her it would be easy just to give directions but as she’s not, it is baguettes for me although John bought something Chinese for himself. The others of course can always buy Chinese food, bring it back and reheat in the microwave.
It can be quite difficult to find things to say when you are cooped up the entire day so that’s it for today, Wallander and Father Brown will keep me company tonight.
Monday, 23 February 2015
Monday 23rd February, 2015 1300
I see light!
I also see the most beautiful dark blue and black colours around where my femur meets my pelvis, always a good sign of healing. Better still, I was able to half sleep on my left side last night, which meant getting out of bed this morning only involved steeling myself and then making one excruciating movement to get into position. Less than a minute. Ah’s on the mend! I reckon I might just be ok to get up those flights of stairs yet for classes but I am pretty certain I will be camping in the classrooms at lunchtimes though, I think if I attempted actually leaving for a break, by the time I got all the way down it would be time to go back up! No, a bottle of something to drink and a novel and I will just sit it out.
I had to chuckle last night though. Although I may have had occasion to use crutches some thirty years ago (and I say “may” because I can’t recall) I suddenly realised that I didn’t know how to go up and down stairs using them! I am sure with trial and error I would have got there but thanks to the internet I now know. I’m not looking forward to it though, it will be bad enough if there is no-one about but with hordes of students……..well.
2230
Well it now turns out that Sarah is leaving tomorrow morning as anticipated but Mulan will stay with uncle for two more days. One of her brothers is being sent to fill in. That rules out any possibility of cooked food then. I cannot and will not complain because without their kindness in helping me I would have had to pay for a hospital bed getting far less care than I am now. And nobody to get my pijou and hong jo either. Or feed the cats. Or anything.
So subsistence for the next 48 hours will probably be baguettes - with luncheon meat one night and probably cheese the next. Hardly what you’d call a balanced diet but then I’ve never really paid much attention to five a day and all that.
Nearing the end of today I feel much happier. I made it to the bathroom again (although I still need a sentry to keep the cats out of the bedroom) and I am virtually pain free sitting down. It shouldn’t be long before I am making a total prat of myself on crutches and tomorrow I am determined to find a way to have a shower of some sort. I abhor not having a daily shower and my last was on Thursday morning. Once the brother (no idea which one) arrives he can help me by getting clean clothes and taking them and my towelling to the bathroom. Then there will be the thorny problem of what to with the cast. I’m not sure the large carrier bags from the supermarket are big enough so I am toying with the idea of using cling film. I will only be sitting on the loo washing and using the shower head as a hand spray so with luck this time tomorrow I will feel like a new cripple.
Anyway, here’s a shot of the rainbow on my thigh just so you don’t think I was exaggerating.
I see light!
I also see the most beautiful dark blue and black colours around where my femur meets my pelvis, always a good sign of healing. Better still, I was able to half sleep on my left side last night, which meant getting out of bed this morning only involved steeling myself and then making one excruciating movement to get into position. Less than a minute. Ah’s on the mend! I reckon I might just be ok to get up those flights of stairs yet for classes but I am pretty certain I will be camping in the classrooms at lunchtimes though, I think if I attempted actually leaving for a break, by the time I got all the way down it would be time to go back up! No, a bottle of something to drink and a novel and I will just sit it out.
I had to chuckle last night though. Although I may have had occasion to use crutches some thirty years ago (and I say “may” because I can’t recall) I suddenly realised that I didn’t know how to go up and down stairs using them! I am sure with trial and error I would have got there but thanks to the internet I now know. I’m not looking forward to it though, it will be bad enough if there is no-one about but with hordes of students……..well.
2230
Well it now turns out that Sarah is leaving tomorrow morning as anticipated but Mulan will stay with uncle for two more days. One of her brothers is being sent to fill in. That rules out any possibility of cooked food then. I cannot and will not complain because without their kindness in helping me I would have had to pay for a hospital bed getting far less care than I am now. And nobody to get my pijou and hong jo either. Or feed the cats. Or anything.
So subsistence for the next 48 hours will probably be baguettes - with luncheon meat one night and probably cheese the next. Hardly what you’d call a balanced diet but then I’ve never really paid much attention to five a day and all that.
Nearing the end of today I feel much happier. I made it to the bathroom again (although I still need a sentry to keep the cats out of the bedroom) and I am virtually pain free sitting down. It shouldn’t be long before I am making a total prat of myself on crutches and tomorrow I am determined to find a way to have a shower of some sort. I abhor not having a daily shower and my last was on Thursday morning. Once the brother (no idea which one) arrives he can help me by getting clean clothes and taking them and my towelling to the bathroom. Then there will be the thorny problem of what to with the cast. I’m not sure the large carrier bags from the supermarket are big enough so I am toying with the idea of using cling film. I will only be sitting on the loo washing and using the shower head as a hand spray so with luck this time tomorrow I will feel like a new cripple.
Anyway, here’s a shot of the rainbow on my thigh just so you don’t think I was exaggerating.
Sunday, 22 February 2015
Saturday 21st February, 2015 1230
It’s not solitary confinement by any stretch but it’s not exactly fun either.
Yes Mulan pops in to tend to me occasionally (when she’s not sleeping - she should have been a cat!) and I have the internet but three days now cooped up in the same room is not much fun.
The doctors said my thigh problem would last four days. Well after three it hasn’t improved much at all so I don’t see a miracle happening tomorrow. I did manage to get some sleep last night but woke up three times to relieve myself. No big deal normally but I can only sleep on my right side because of the hip and my temporary loo is on the other side, meaning I have to turn over and then get to the edge and sit up. I think I have a reasonable pain threshhold but it takes ten minutes of groans before I succeed. Certainly there are people much worse off than me but it doesn’t help! I simply must be able to use the crutches on the 4th for my first lessons.
I should have been arriving in Anqing in an hour and tonight as it is now open, dinner was to be in Pizza Hut. Instead it’s cottage pie. I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how hard we try and plan things, life goes ahead and does exactly what it chooses and sod the rest.
Sunday 22nd 1220
There are signs of very slight improvement, mainly that I can now sit in the chair without too much discomfort. Actually that’s not strictly true. After three days of either sitting in the chair or being in bed, Ollivier’s chair now feels hard and makes my backside ache! That has been relieved, at least for now, by sitting on a pillow.
Sadly it is a bright and sunny day outside.
Mulan has just gone to get some supplies of pijou and later this afternoon she is going to meet a friend working in town and they will go shopping for food. I believe the friend will be staying here at least for tonight, which is good for Mulan as obviously I am not the best of companions at present and although she sleeps for China she must get bored alone. I feel guilty about spoiling her holiday (even though she was coming back in two days anyway) and being what I always have been, an impatient and very grumpy patient.
She doesn’t have to cook tonight as the chilli cottage pie is defrosting - more than enough for three, especially with my diminished appetite. Last night we agreed I should have bread, cheese and celery (she woke up too late the night before) but she has a memory like a sieve and she fried beef, potatoes and veg, plonked a ham and cheese baguette on the plate, put it on my computer desk and walked out without a word. Thinking it was hers and she was coming back with mine I waited. And waited. Eventually I had to send a text asking her if she was going to eat it before it got cold. In case you are wondering, although the building allows sound to travel from one end to the other, you can’t hear between the bedrooms! That’s when she said it was mine. I couldn’t face it and resolved myself to another day without food.
When she had finished hers she very kindly brought me what I had asked for. To give you an idea of how much of it I could actually get down, I ate half a celery stick and three circles of bread with a little cheese. I’m really keeping my strength up!
1440
I bit the bullet half an hour ago. I was feeling a little uncomfortable below decks and with Mulan going to town for who knows how long later I didn’t want to be caught on my own. I managed to haul myself up on the sticks but couldn’t bend my foot backwards to keep it off the floor so it was a long, slow and painful journey. Mulan kept the felines at bay with the broom otherwise there would have been at least two in my bedroom and I am incapable of getting them out now.
All in all it was fifteen minutes of hell but I admit I feel much better now. I would feel even better if I could have a wash but being unable to move my upper leg I can see no way of getting into a position where I won’t soak the plaster. Still, I am thankful for small mercies - at least I can sit reasonably happily in front of the laptop. I could simply take to my bed and take it with me but I have never been a one to languish in bed even when I’ve been in hospital. I can’t be the only one who finds it uncomfortable unless you are actually sleeping?
1645
This entry is probably coming across as self-pitying but I am not, rather I am just ticked off at it happening and disappointed at missing out on the only things I had planned this holiday. Still, there’s nothing I can do about it so I am just lying back thinking of China. I have a nice dinner later this evening, we just discovered two packs of bacon in my fridge only have five days left so Mulan is going to cook bacon, eggs and mash tomorrow which will be fun. She can do two but although she watched me making mash, it will be her first time. Fun times ahead!
It’s not solitary confinement by any stretch but it’s not exactly fun either.
Yes Mulan pops in to tend to me occasionally (when she’s not sleeping - she should have been a cat!) and I have the internet but three days now cooped up in the same room is not much fun.
The doctors said my thigh problem would last four days. Well after three it hasn’t improved much at all so I don’t see a miracle happening tomorrow. I did manage to get some sleep last night but woke up three times to relieve myself. No big deal normally but I can only sleep on my right side because of the hip and my temporary loo is on the other side, meaning I have to turn over and then get to the edge and sit up. I think I have a reasonable pain threshhold but it takes ten minutes of groans before I succeed. Certainly there are people much worse off than me but it doesn’t help! I simply must be able to use the crutches on the 4th for my first lessons.
I should have been arriving in Anqing in an hour and tonight as it is now open, dinner was to be in Pizza Hut. Instead it’s cottage pie. I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how hard we try and plan things, life goes ahead and does exactly what it chooses and sod the rest.
Sunday 22nd 1220
There are signs of very slight improvement, mainly that I can now sit in the chair without too much discomfort. Actually that’s not strictly true. After three days of either sitting in the chair or being in bed, Ollivier’s chair now feels hard and makes my backside ache! That has been relieved, at least for now, by sitting on a pillow.
Sadly it is a bright and sunny day outside.
Mulan has just gone to get some supplies of pijou and later this afternoon she is going to meet a friend working in town and they will go shopping for food. I believe the friend will be staying here at least for tonight, which is good for Mulan as obviously I am not the best of companions at present and although she sleeps for China she must get bored alone. I feel guilty about spoiling her holiday (even though she was coming back in two days anyway) and being what I always have been, an impatient and very grumpy patient.
She doesn’t have to cook tonight as the chilli cottage pie is defrosting - more than enough for three, especially with my diminished appetite. Last night we agreed I should have bread, cheese and celery (she woke up too late the night before) but she has a memory like a sieve and she fried beef, potatoes and veg, plonked a ham and cheese baguette on the plate, put it on my computer desk and walked out without a word. Thinking it was hers and she was coming back with mine I waited. And waited. Eventually I had to send a text asking her if she was going to eat it before it got cold. In case you are wondering, although the building allows sound to travel from one end to the other, you can’t hear between the bedrooms! That’s when she said it was mine. I couldn’t face it and resolved myself to another day without food.
When she had finished hers she very kindly brought me what I had asked for. To give you an idea of how much of it I could actually get down, I ate half a celery stick and three circles of bread with a little cheese. I’m really keeping my strength up!
1440
I bit the bullet half an hour ago. I was feeling a little uncomfortable below decks and with Mulan going to town for who knows how long later I didn’t want to be caught on my own. I managed to haul myself up on the sticks but couldn’t bend my foot backwards to keep it off the floor so it was a long, slow and painful journey. Mulan kept the felines at bay with the broom otherwise there would have been at least two in my bedroom and I am incapable of getting them out now.
All in all it was fifteen minutes of hell but I admit I feel much better now. I would feel even better if I could have a wash but being unable to move my upper leg I can see no way of getting into a position where I won’t soak the plaster. Still, I am thankful for small mercies - at least I can sit reasonably happily in front of the laptop. I could simply take to my bed and take it with me but I have never been a one to languish in bed even when I’ve been in hospital. I can’t be the only one who finds it uncomfortable unless you are actually sleeping?
1645
This entry is probably coming across as self-pitying but I am not, rather I am just ticked off at it happening and disappointed at missing out on the only things I had planned this holiday. Still, there’s nothing I can do about it so I am just lying back thinking of China. I have a nice dinner later this evening, we just discovered two packs of bacon in my fridge only have five days left so Mulan is going to cook bacon, eggs and mash tomorrow which will be fun. She can do two but although she watched me making mash, it will be her first time. Fun times ahead!
Friday, 20 February 2015
Friday 20th February, 2015 1200
With the aid of two bottles of wine and sheer exhaustion, I managed to get about four hours sleep last night. I would love to know what I did to my muscles which causes pain when I am still and agony when I try to move. As for the spasms,,,,,,,well…..
Poor old Pepsi hasn’t been out for more than 24 hours and yet there is still no sign of her relieving herself - certainly not number two and if she has done a number one then she has done it on her bed! Someone from the vets will come late afternoon/early evening to take her away. He can’t come any earlier as he is in Anqing at present but it will be fun watching him try to get her out from under the bed.
Mulan is going to go and retrieve my bike from the hospital (having been given strict instructions not to have an accident herself or I am right up the creek) and then she will get some shopping. I haven’t eaten since Wednesday because the pain keeps me constantly nauseous but I have asked for a baguette so I might try to have it with some cheese tonight. That frozen cottage pie is going to come in handy at some point!
When Ollivier’s key arrives back (Mulan mistakenly took it in her coat to her uncle’s and left the damned coat there but her sister will bring it here) she can water his cactus and pinch his office swivel chair for me. As it is on wheels it will make minor position adjustments a bit easier and less painful.
1700
The cactus is watered so that won’t need doing again before Ollivier returns and his office chair is now under my backside. It has made a hell of a difference. In fact I managed to doze off in it for almost an hour (on and off because I was jolted awake a few times when the bad leg spasmed) which was much needed.
Mulan went and got a 75% refund on the bus ticket I wouldn’t now be using on Saturday, went to hospital and retrieved the bike and then went shopping. I told her to get a McDonald’s for herself if she didn’t want to cook and to get me a baguette and some celery. Although she is quite willing to cook some rather odd looking food for me (she did last night and fried an egg as well which I had already told her I wouldn’t eat because I felt sick) I still don’t have an appetite but I will probably be able to stomach bread, cheese and celery along with outrageous amounts of salt tonight.
My nap was disturbed by the arrival of both her and the vet together. I assume he had called her and arranged to meet at one of the gates so she could show him where I live. Then it was fun and games trying to get Pepsi winkled out from under the bed. If anyone else is present in the bedroom she won’t even come out for me so I said the vet should stand one side of the bed and Mulan take a crutch the other side and push her out. Easier said than done but after a few minutes of scrabbling claws and evasive tactics she shot out from Mulan’s side so I was able to grab her collar. At least now she will get taken for walks and I won’t get any nasty surprises in my room.
Earlier I suddenly realised that in a twelve days time when please God I shall be using the sticks, if I can ride my bike to class, seeing as the kickstand is on the left side, I will have a problem deploying it. Hopefully judicious use of a crutch might be the answer. No way can I get to class and back on crutches so it’s that or I camp out in a classroom for a fortnight.
Anyway tonight for a change I think I will have a quiet night in so bye for now from the House of Pain!
With the aid of two bottles of wine and sheer exhaustion, I managed to get about four hours sleep last night. I would love to know what I did to my muscles which causes pain when I am still and agony when I try to move. As for the spasms,,,,,,,well…..
Poor old Pepsi hasn’t been out for more than 24 hours and yet there is still no sign of her relieving herself - certainly not number two and if she has done a number one then she has done it on her bed! Someone from the vets will come late afternoon/early evening to take her away. He can’t come any earlier as he is in Anqing at present but it will be fun watching him try to get her out from under the bed.
Mulan is going to go and retrieve my bike from the hospital (having been given strict instructions not to have an accident herself or I am right up the creek) and then she will get some shopping. I haven’t eaten since Wednesday because the pain keeps me constantly nauseous but I have asked for a baguette so I might try to have it with some cheese tonight. That frozen cottage pie is going to come in handy at some point!
When Ollivier’s key arrives back (Mulan mistakenly took it in her coat to her uncle’s and left the damned coat there but her sister will bring it here) she can water his cactus and pinch his office swivel chair for me. As it is on wheels it will make minor position adjustments a bit easier and less painful.
1700
The cactus is watered so that won’t need doing again before Ollivier returns and his office chair is now under my backside. It has made a hell of a difference. In fact I managed to doze off in it for almost an hour (on and off because I was jolted awake a few times when the bad leg spasmed) which was much needed.
Mulan went and got a 75% refund on the bus ticket I wouldn’t now be using on Saturday, went to hospital and retrieved the bike and then went shopping. I told her to get a McDonald’s for herself if she didn’t want to cook and to get me a baguette and some celery. Although she is quite willing to cook some rather odd looking food for me (she did last night and fried an egg as well which I had already told her I wouldn’t eat because I felt sick) I still don’t have an appetite but I will probably be able to stomach bread, cheese and celery along with outrageous amounts of salt tonight.
My nap was disturbed by the arrival of both her and the vet together. I assume he had called her and arranged to meet at one of the gates so she could show him where I live. Then it was fun and games trying to get Pepsi winkled out from under the bed. If anyone else is present in the bedroom she won’t even come out for me so I said the vet should stand one side of the bed and Mulan take a crutch the other side and push her out. Easier said than done but after a few minutes of scrabbling claws and evasive tactics she shot out from Mulan’s side so I was able to grab her collar. At least now she will get taken for walks and I won’t get any nasty surprises in my room.
Earlier I suddenly realised that in a twelve days time when please God I shall be using the sticks, if I can ride my bike to class, seeing as the kickstand is on the left side, I will have a problem deploying it. Hopefully judicious use of a crutch might be the answer. No way can I get to class and back on crutches so it’s that or I camp out in a classroom for a fortnight.
Anyway tonight for a change I think I will have a quiet night in so bye for now from the House of Pain!
Thursday, 19 February 2015
Thursday 19th February, 2015 Chinese New Year 1900
Happy bloody new year……………….
I won’t be going to either Anqing or Hefei now,
As it was a nice day I decided to do my last shop before leaving for Anqing on Saturday this afternoon and duly left at two. Very little traffic on the roads with the exception of around the lake where families were having outings. On the outskirts of town there was a little more traffic but it was still light. I got on the roundabout to go straight over to RT Mart and a car entered behind me. They do that here as they have right of way rather than the vehicle already on the roundabout so it was nothing unusual. Needing to move over a bit so as to take the next exit, once that car had passed me I glanced over my shoulder to see if the coast was clear behind. It was.
On facing the front again, to my horror the white car that had entered behind me and passed me was now stopped in the middle of the roundabout in close proximity! I braked and the rear wheel locked and the back end started to go so I released the brakes but to no avail. As I hit the road all I could think was “OH NO, not again!” I did try to let go of the bike but it had trapped my foot under itself and dragged me with it.
In situations like that I tend to have irrational thoughts, this time it was that I hoped I would still be able to go to Anqing and Hefei. Indeed immediately afterwards it seemed a possibility but when I tried to get my bike off the road it took a good Samaritan to do it for me. Oddly the back wheel was still locked up so he had to drag it. The wheel stayed locked for a good ten minutes and then suddenly it would turn. That may explain why when I released the brakes I couldn’t recover.
Anyway I sat and had a smoke and decided to carry on to the supermarket. When I got there and parked up, I realised I couldn’t walk any more. Sure I could ride the bike but I was beginning to get concerned I may have broken my pelvis.
I rode to the number one hospital. Entering the nearest available door to where I could park, I found the place deserted and so sat down to have a smoke, hoping a staff member would happen by. They didn’t, so I had to painfully and slowly inch to the lifts and go up a floor. Assistance and a wheelchair eventually arrived and I was taken to A&E. The doctor decided my thigh problem was something muscular but sent me for x-rays on my hip and my left foot. While I was waiting after the photos had been delivered, a nurse came out and informed me it wasn’t serious. That was a relief. They had twigged I was from the university and asked for a contact number. I gave them Cinny’s. A while later I was wheeled back in to be given the news that I had fractured my foot.
“Oh God, don’t tell me you want to do another operation?” I said, thinking of the dog and cats all alone. To my great relief they said I needed a plaster cast. Bang went my travel plans. Worse, Cinny sent a text saying Director Xu of the Foreign Affairs Dept was on his way and that as it was the holiday I would have to pay the bill myself for now. Luckily I had withdrawn money before I left so that wasn’t a problem but the last thing I wanted was to spoil anyone’s special day, for indeed it is very special in China. Too late, he was on the way.
By now it was dawning that for some days at least, I was going to be completely unable to do anything for myself at home. I asked Mulan and she very kindly, bless her, instantly said she would come back to look after me. There are no buses today so I said immediately that I would pay for the taxi, which I thought very reasonable at 50y. My hospital bill was 423y and I now have a cast in place.
We had to leave the hospital and go and buy some crutches for 98y and when I was brought home it took half an hour and extreme agony to get up to my place. I was exhausted from the effort. I am now trapped in my own home until those muscles play ball because I can’t lift the foot off the ground to use the crutches. It’s going to be fun when term starts, seeing as all my classes are on the 4th or 5th floor!
So that’s my new year’s day - and all because it is going to rain tomorrow and I thought I would do the shopping today. Fate eh?
Happy bloody new year……………….
I won’t be going to either Anqing or Hefei now,
As it was a nice day I decided to do my last shop before leaving for Anqing on Saturday this afternoon and duly left at two. Very little traffic on the roads with the exception of around the lake where families were having outings. On the outskirts of town there was a little more traffic but it was still light. I got on the roundabout to go straight over to RT Mart and a car entered behind me. They do that here as they have right of way rather than the vehicle already on the roundabout so it was nothing unusual. Needing to move over a bit so as to take the next exit, once that car had passed me I glanced over my shoulder to see if the coast was clear behind. It was.
On facing the front again, to my horror the white car that had entered behind me and passed me was now stopped in the middle of the roundabout in close proximity! I braked and the rear wheel locked and the back end started to go so I released the brakes but to no avail. As I hit the road all I could think was “OH NO, not again!” I did try to let go of the bike but it had trapped my foot under itself and dragged me with it.
In situations like that I tend to have irrational thoughts, this time it was that I hoped I would still be able to go to Anqing and Hefei. Indeed immediately afterwards it seemed a possibility but when I tried to get my bike off the road it took a good Samaritan to do it for me. Oddly the back wheel was still locked up so he had to drag it. The wheel stayed locked for a good ten minutes and then suddenly it would turn. That may explain why when I released the brakes I couldn’t recover.
Anyway I sat and had a smoke and decided to carry on to the supermarket. When I got there and parked up, I realised I couldn’t walk any more. Sure I could ride the bike but I was beginning to get concerned I may have broken my pelvis.
I rode to the number one hospital. Entering the nearest available door to where I could park, I found the place deserted and so sat down to have a smoke, hoping a staff member would happen by. They didn’t, so I had to painfully and slowly inch to the lifts and go up a floor. Assistance and a wheelchair eventually arrived and I was taken to A&E. The doctor decided my thigh problem was something muscular but sent me for x-rays on my hip and my left foot. While I was waiting after the photos had been delivered, a nurse came out and informed me it wasn’t serious. That was a relief. They had twigged I was from the university and asked for a contact number. I gave them Cinny’s. A while later I was wheeled back in to be given the news that I had fractured my foot.
“Oh God, don’t tell me you want to do another operation?” I said, thinking of the dog and cats all alone. To my great relief they said I needed a plaster cast. Bang went my travel plans. Worse, Cinny sent a text saying Director Xu of the Foreign Affairs Dept was on his way and that as it was the holiday I would have to pay the bill myself for now. Luckily I had withdrawn money before I left so that wasn’t a problem but the last thing I wanted was to spoil anyone’s special day, for indeed it is very special in China. Too late, he was on the way.
By now it was dawning that for some days at least, I was going to be completely unable to do anything for myself at home. I asked Mulan and she very kindly, bless her, instantly said she would come back to look after me. There are no buses today so I said immediately that I would pay for the taxi, which I thought very reasonable at 50y. My hospital bill was 423y and I now have a cast in place.
We had to leave the hospital and go and buy some crutches for 98y and when I was brought home it took half an hour and extreme agony to get up to my place. I was exhausted from the effort. I am now trapped in my own home until those muscles play ball because I can’t lift the foot off the ground to use the crutches. It’s going to be fun when term starts, seeing as all my classes are on the 4th or 5th floor!
So that’s my new year’s day - and all because it is going to rain tomorrow and I thought I would do the shopping today. Fate eh?
Wednesday, 18 February 2015
Wednesday 18th February, 2015 Chinese new year’s eve 1800
There wasn’t much point in going out today seeing as everything has closed locally. It wasn’t warm enough for a ride to town (although it’s not THAT cold) and I didn’t want to take the chance of the buses stopping so early I would have to take a taxi back.
I sent all my new year text messages and of course have had them all day from students wishing me well - some telling me who they are, others not so I have no idea. Mid-afternoon after a late shower I decided to take Pepsi out on the bike just for some fresh air. The roads were almost deserted as usual at this time of year. In the vain hope of finding a restaurant open where I could sit for an hour with a bottle or two, I took the route to Maya, which is near where the little charity school in the mountains is. Couldn’t see anything open bar a shop selling fireworks so decided on a whim to take Pepsi up to the cemetery on top of the hill overlooking a valley. My previous bikes have struggled to get up the steep ascent but I was very pleased when the current one flew up it. I haven’t been there for two years and was saddened when we got there. Whereas before where the poor people’s urns lie in unmarked graves they at least had a nice view of the fields and stream in the valley, now the earth at the edge has been very badly eroded by wind and rain. Slipped down about ten feet and you can’t get close enough for a view. This is all because the dirt was once dumped there from some excavation project or other and nobody bothered planting any vegetation to bind it together. In another few years the poor dead people will probably find their remains also sliding down the hill - not that anyone seems to go and visit them anyway.
Our show airs at 2000 tonight but bizarrely it is seemingly not going to be shown on the local TV channel - the one that made it. Hopefully at a later stage they will upload it into the video section but Molly informed me it’s on CCTV, the national network. There are about twenty channels but she thinks it may be on 1 and possibly 9, the English speaking one. That’s on a TV though and as I don’t have one, Lord knows if the online version will be the same. It’s actually very annoying as I have been quite looking forward to watching it ever since I was given a link.
Rain is currently forecast for Friday and Saturday. Great. That will mean getting damp taking the dog to hospital and going to the bus station. Mind you, I wouldn’t be surprised if it started raining tonight by the way the wind is getting up. That would be a good thing because it might mean that by Saturday it will be gone. I only need to go to town on Friday for some pet food before I leave and if it is inclement the buses will be running.
So an extremely quiet night for me, I haven’t seen anyone other than the guards in their security huts so I assume everyone else has gone to be with their families. This is a short one just to say Xing Nian Kwai Le to all my readers. Hurry away the highborn horse and rush in the rampant ram. May happiness health and wealth be yours in the coming year, which by one Chinese standard is 4726!
There wasn’t much point in going out today seeing as everything has closed locally. It wasn’t warm enough for a ride to town (although it’s not THAT cold) and I didn’t want to take the chance of the buses stopping so early I would have to take a taxi back.
I sent all my new year text messages and of course have had them all day from students wishing me well - some telling me who they are, others not so I have no idea. Mid-afternoon after a late shower I decided to take Pepsi out on the bike just for some fresh air. The roads were almost deserted as usual at this time of year. In the vain hope of finding a restaurant open where I could sit for an hour with a bottle or two, I took the route to Maya, which is near where the little charity school in the mountains is. Couldn’t see anything open bar a shop selling fireworks so decided on a whim to take Pepsi up to the cemetery on top of the hill overlooking a valley. My previous bikes have struggled to get up the steep ascent but I was very pleased when the current one flew up it. I haven’t been there for two years and was saddened when we got there. Whereas before where the poor people’s urns lie in unmarked graves they at least had a nice view of the fields and stream in the valley, now the earth at the edge has been very badly eroded by wind and rain. Slipped down about ten feet and you can’t get close enough for a view. This is all because the dirt was once dumped there from some excavation project or other and nobody bothered planting any vegetation to bind it together. In another few years the poor dead people will probably find their remains also sliding down the hill - not that anyone seems to go and visit them anyway.
Our show airs at 2000 tonight but bizarrely it is seemingly not going to be shown on the local TV channel - the one that made it. Hopefully at a later stage they will upload it into the video section but Molly informed me it’s on CCTV, the national network. There are about twenty channels but she thinks it may be on 1 and possibly 9, the English speaking one. That’s on a TV though and as I don’t have one, Lord knows if the online version will be the same. It’s actually very annoying as I have been quite looking forward to watching it ever since I was given a link.
Rain is currently forecast for Friday and Saturday. Great. That will mean getting damp taking the dog to hospital and going to the bus station. Mind you, I wouldn’t be surprised if it started raining tonight by the way the wind is getting up. That would be a good thing because it might mean that by Saturday it will be gone. I only need to go to town on Friday for some pet food before I leave and if it is inclement the buses will be running.
So an extremely quiet night for me, I haven’t seen anyone other than the guards in their security huts so I assume everyone else has gone to be with their families. This is a short one just to say Xing Nian Kwai Le to all my readers. Hurry away the highborn horse and rush in the rampant ram. May happiness health and wealth be yours in the coming year, which by one Chinese standard is 4726!
Tuesday, 17 February 2015
Sunday 15th February, 2015 1930
It’s like running a B&B here this holiday!
Louis has now been packed off to the uncle’s and has been replaced by Mulan’s friend Katrina. Quite a pleasant girl and more importantly it gives me the chance to serve up that ham and mash dinner tonight.
Said dinner has been delayed due to the fact that Mulan cooked breakfast for her and brother and managed to create such a mess that I refused to wash the dishes. Like a softie I allowed her to finish watching her film before she did so and shortly the pet food will be cooked and I can start on ours.
The Chinglish translations have been rather good this holiday (apparently there aren’t normally many at this time of year) and in the past three days I have had about 6,500 words. What is not so good is that all my watering holes seem to be closing for the new year. Earlier I went to the distant one I have used for the last fortnight only to find a Krooklok on the doors and then went off to the one near the fish shop. He’s always open, even on new year’s day.
Not this year though! He will be closed as of Wednesday, this year they decided to have a big family affair elsewhere. Mind you, if the weather stays as warm as it has been, it won’t be a problem to take Muttley on the bike a bit further afield to find somewhere open if I want.
Monday 16th 1530
Nearly siesta time.
The girls and I went for breakfast but on arriving we were greeted with the news that they had no muffins. Would I like something else? No I damned well wouldn’t. With no muffins, in China the only options are hash browns, some deep fried dough stick thing which looks like tofu and breakfast wraps which even the Chinese don’t eat. In a foul mood I asked for a coffee for myself and the girls ordered an egg burger. If only I knew who was responsible for stock control I would surely have been arrested.
Shopping was even worse than yesterday.
I used to be exasperated in the UK because the locusts came in (anyone know what locusts actually are? The fact is they are any grasshopper species when they swarm, something I only learnt a few months ago) when the supermarkets used to close for two days. There is absolutely no reason here because they are open every day! And yet every year at this time it is like a six nations rugby scrum just to get a few essentials. With the temperatures being reasonable and the bike being practical I may well actually go shopping on new year’s day - the Chinese should in theory all be partying at home. I certainly won’t be anywhere else because as kind as Mulan’s invitation was, it is not feasible for me to go to her uncle’s home to celebrate. The dog has to be considered and even if I could get a taxi her uncle’s home has no bed for me and they live in a hamlet boasting just five families so not even a fleapit of an hotel within strike distance. Pity because I would like to meet this selfless chap one day.
I will content myself with my trip to Anqing on Saturday (dog boarding double the usual rate due to time of year) and have now extended - because Mulan will come back to cook for the cats - my expedition by a day. I will go from Anqing to Hefei and stay there on the Monday night, hopefully I can meet up with a student or two. I may see if Anna is free and also one of my ex students (Happy) although as she only works there she may have gone to her hometown for the festival. What the hell, I found a special offer for an executive room at the Hilton for the unbelievably low spring festival bargain price of 449y. This time though I must remember to take my own bottle of HP sauce for breakfast! It will also give me the chance to save a little money by buying Italian herbs (I have run out) from WalMart nearby. Now though I need to find a way of fitting both the dog and my little suitcase on the bike instead of the dog and a rucksack which hangs off the back of the bike. I may need to buy a ball of string!
Tuesday 17th 2330
Last night at Mulan’s request I made my chilli-laced cottage pie. Actually I made two and stuck one in the freezer for another day. The Chinese seem to be astonished at the different ways in which westerners utilise potatoes - no bad thing if ultimately it gets them doing something other than chopping them into tiny splinters or letting them disintegrate in a hotpot.
Today was the day peace was to reign and so to celebrate we all bussed to town with me in combative mood in case McDonald’s had no muffins yet again. Luckily Mulan had pigged out on my enormous bag of cheesy Doritos and wasn’t hungry because there were two muffins left, which they claimed they had saved for me. Yes of course, I go there every day without fail, don’t I? I must check my green complexion next time I am in the bathroom.
Mulan left to go to her uncle but Katrina wanted to tarry a little longer and come with me to the supermarket. I didn’t even need a basket, all I wanted was a baguette, a tomato and another bag of Doritos. It was madness but not as crazy as if I was to shop tomorrow. I did that once and it took 45 minutes in a shop just to buy two vegetables which, had they not been essential, I would have abandoned and walked out. No, if I go to town tomorrow (and I may, for there is a chap who wants to meet for a drink) I will not go near a supermarket.
When I came back I took Pepsi out to office number three near the fish shop. Bless him, he had bought another case of beer in my honour, and I watched as he offloaded his catch of fish and then sat on the porch with some type of reed or grass. The plants were about a yard long and he got a ball of twine and started systematically seizing and tightening them together, all the while the dead mini-dandelion type flowers shed and blew into the restaurant in my direction. Once they were all secured together (this took nearly an hour) he then sewed the heads with the twine and at the end he had fashioned a broom. For all that effort he could have bought a synthetic one for 10y but the best of it was, he then had to use it to come in and sweep out all the flowers the thing had given off during manufacture!
It’s goodnight from here.
It’s like running a B&B here this holiday!
Louis has now been packed off to the uncle’s and has been replaced by Mulan’s friend Katrina. Quite a pleasant girl and more importantly it gives me the chance to serve up that ham and mash dinner tonight.
Said dinner has been delayed due to the fact that Mulan cooked breakfast for her and brother and managed to create such a mess that I refused to wash the dishes. Like a softie I allowed her to finish watching her film before she did so and shortly the pet food will be cooked and I can start on ours.
The Chinglish translations have been rather good this holiday (apparently there aren’t normally many at this time of year) and in the past three days I have had about 6,500 words. What is not so good is that all my watering holes seem to be closing for the new year. Earlier I went to the distant one I have used for the last fortnight only to find a Krooklok on the doors and then went off to the one near the fish shop. He’s always open, even on new year’s day.
Not this year though! He will be closed as of Wednesday, this year they decided to have a big family affair elsewhere. Mind you, if the weather stays as warm as it has been, it won’t be a problem to take Muttley on the bike a bit further afield to find somewhere open if I want.
Monday 16th 1530
Nearly siesta time.
The girls and I went for breakfast but on arriving we were greeted with the news that they had no muffins. Would I like something else? No I damned well wouldn’t. With no muffins, in China the only options are hash browns, some deep fried dough stick thing which looks like tofu and breakfast wraps which even the Chinese don’t eat. In a foul mood I asked for a coffee for myself and the girls ordered an egg burger. If only I knew who was responsible for stock control I would surely have been arrested.
Shopping was even worse than yesterday.
I used to be exasperated in the UK because the locusts came in (anyone know what locusts actually are? The fact is they are any grasshopper species when they swarm, something I only learnt a few months ago) when the supermarkets used to close for two days. There is absolutely no reason here because they are open every day! And yet every year at this time it is like a six nations rugby scrum just to get a few essentials. With the temperatures being reasonable and the bike being practical I may well actually go shopping on new year’s day - the Chinese should in theory all be partying at home. I certainly won’t be anywhere else because as kind as Mulan’s invitation was, it is not feasible for me to go to her uncle’s home to celebrate. The dog has to be considered and even if I could get a taxi her uncle’s home has no bed for me and they live in a hamlet boasting just five families so not even a fleapit of an hotel within strike distance. Pity because I would like to meet this selfless chap one day.
I will content myself with my trip to Anqing on Saturday (dog boarding double the usual rate due to time of year) and have now extended - because Mulan will come back to cook for the cats - my expedition by a day. I will go from Anqing to Hefei and stay there on the Monday night, hopefully I can meet up with a student or two. I may see if Anna is free and also one of my ex students (Happy) although as she only works there she may have gone to her hometown for the festival. What the hell, I found a special offer for an executive room at the Hilton for the unbelievably low spring festival bargain price of 449y. This time though I must remember to take my own bottle of HP sauce for breakfast! It will also give me the chance to save a little money by buying Italian herbs (I have run out) from WalMart nearby. Now though I need to find a way of fitting both the dog and my little suitcase on the bike instead of the dog and a rucksack which hangs off the back of the bike. I may need to buy a ball of string!
Tuesday 17th 2330
Last night at Mulan’s request I made my chilli-laced cottage pie. Actually I made two and stuck one in the freezer for another day. The Chinese seem to be astonished at the different ways in which westerners utilise potatoes - no bad thing if ultimately it gets them doing something other than chopping them into tiny splinters or letting them disintegrate in a hotpot.
Today was the day peace was to reign and so to celebrate we all bussed to town with me in combative mood in case McDonald’s had no muffins yet again. Luckily Mulan had pigged out on my enormous bag of cheesy Doritos and wasn’t hungry because there were two muffins left, which they claimed they had saved for me. Yes of course, I go there every day without fail, don’t I? I must check my green complexion next time I am in the bathroom.
Mulan left to go to her uncle but Katrina wanted to tarry a little longer and come with me to the supermarket. I didn’t even need a basket, all I wanted was a baguette, a tomato and another bag of Doritos. It was madness but not as crazy as if I was to shop tomorrow. I did that once and it took 45 minutes in a shop just to buy two vegetables which, had they not been essential, I would have abandoned and walked out. No, if I go to town tomorrow (and I may, for there is a chap who wants to meet for a drink) I will not go near a supermarket.
When I came back I took Pepsi out to office number three near the fish shop. Bless him, he had bought another case of beer in my honour, and I watched as he offloaded his catch of fish and then sat on the porch with some type of reed or grass. The plants were about a yard long and he got a ball of twine and started systematically seizing and tightening them together, all the while the dead mini-dandelion type flowers shed and blew into the restaurant in my direction. Once they were all secured together (this took nearly an hour) he then sewed the heads with the twine and at the end he had fashioned a broom. For all that effort he could have bought a synthetic one for 10y but the best of it was, he then had to use it to come in and sweep out all the flowers the thing had given off during manufacture!
It’s goodnight from here.
Saturday, 14 February 2015
Saturday 14th February, 2015 2130
St Valentine’s Day, one of three such days China has annually. And still I have never received a card. Sent plenty though in my time.
Yesterday was a nice day so I took John on the bike for breakfast and shopping. That boy eats for China so with Mulan expected back in the afternoon I bought a load of potatoes to do mash with and the plan was to cook the ham I have had curing on my balcony for a week, combine that with some peas and Branston pickle and have a simple but delicious dinner.
All that changed in the afternoon though.
The uncle had requested that John go to stay with him that night and stay until after new year. In no way do I begrudge the man the right to recall any of his charges for certainly he has devoted his life and any chance he may have had of marriage and children of his own, in the name of their upbringing. Disappointing certainly, understandable definitely that he wants his family around him at this special time in Chinese culture.
Then a bomb was dropped on me. Not only does Mulan have a sister and a brother (this despite the one child policy) but there is ANOHER baby brother!!
I was incredulous. Worse, Mulan was bringing him with her to stay, so we are playing musical families now! Er, how old is he, I asked. Twelve was the answer. Inward groans. Twelve is not a good age from my perspective. Oh, and don’t cook because she will take you and her brother for dinner in town. So the pork sat in the brine.
I walked to west gate to take a bus, the idea being that we could get a cab back to the door and I wouldn’t need to retrieve my bike. It was a pleasant evening and much as I think walking is unnatural, I quite enjoyed it. Shortly after leaving home and just as I was passing the boys dormitories I heard what sounded like a small kitten mewing. Being a sucker for baby animals I called out to it. Then it appeared. Not a small one, I estimate maybe five months old, a lovely ginger cat which came trotting over to me with its tail held high. I scratched its ears and carried on walking and then I witnessed something most unusual. It followed me as a dog would, near enough all the way to the west gate. That alone would be enough for me to gather it up and bring it home had I not already had four bundles of trouble.
I waited for the number seven bus intending to catch the last one but when it approached the stop and I hailed it the driver just carried on driving past! I understand now that the last bus had left ten minutes before. Angry, I started the long trek to the joint 7 & 29 bus stop, wishing now I had in fact taken the bike. My mood darkened when I saw two further 7s going the opposite way, for that bus goes about a mile past west gate, stops, turns round and retraces the route. The first driver, had he had a shred of decency (and knowing I wanted to go somewhere and there were no more buses that night), would have stopped and at least dumped me at the next stop so I could take a 29. No, not happy at all.
As it happened I still managed to get to the Sichuan restaurant five minutes before Mulan and her 15 (not 12) year old brother, who, not having an English name, had to be given one by me - Louis. Louis was too young to be looked after by the uncle when the parents scampered so he has been raised by the uncle’s sister. After a pleasant dinner it became a quiet night in with the promise of breakfast this morning.
I ferried the pair of them to south gate shortly after nine and we went for McBreakfast. Shopping on this occasion was secondary, the main purpose was for me to buy a bus ticket to Anqing on the 21st when I shall visit Yvonne. I had planned to take Mulan on the bike but with Louis in tow that wasn’t possible. Now Chinese people and McDonald’s big breakfasts have become something of a fascination for me, by way of the rather outlandish things they do with them. None have so far disappointed - from Anna with jam on the hash browns to Mulan and a jamburger, John with absolutely everything stuffed in the muffin including jam and this morning Louis with a full sachet of strawberry on top of the scrambled eggs. if I wasn’t now expecting such outrageous eating habits it would have put me off my own food.
I have my 27y ticket for the 90 minute trip to Anqing and the hotel is booked for two nights. I can only hope the weather is similar to today where it has been positively warm, then I can take the dog to hospital on the bike with no need of a taxi.
I had to have a nap this afternoon and when I woke up and switched the phone on there was a message from Mulan saying she had been invited out by friends, she may get drunk and don’t wait up. Great, not only do I not want to make ham just for two but earlier BECAUSE I was going to make it I refused a dinner invitation from the small school to celebrate new year. But then there was the small matter of the young man in the next room. Luckily I had some chilli in the freezer which has now gone. Plans? What plans?
There are photos of the gala show on the TV station website plus a couple of short clips in news broadcasts presumably advertising it so I attach the links.
http://www.0566md.com/news/viewtp.php?infoID=82070&Page=15
http://video.cznbtv.com/video/2015-02/13/cms28024article.shtml
http://video.cznbtv.com/video/2015-02/13/cms28014article.shtml
St Valentine’s Day, one of three such days China has annually. And still I have never received a card. Sent plenty though in my time.
Yesterday was a nice day so I took John on the bike for breakfast and shopping. That boy eats for China so with Mulan expected back in the afternoon I bought a load of potatoes to do mash with and the plan was to cook the ham I have had curing on my balcony for a week, combine that with some peas and Branston pickle and have a simple but delicious dinner.
All that changed in the afternoon though.
The uncle had requested that John go to stay with him that night and stay until after new year. In no way do I begrudge the man the right to recall any of his charges for certainly he has devoted his life and any chance he may have had of marriage and children of his own, in the name of their upbringing. Disappointing certainly, understandable definitely that he wants his family around him at this special time in Chinese culture.
Then a bomb was dropped on me. Not only does Mulan have a sister and a brother (this despite the one child policy) but there is ANOHER baby brother!!
I was incredulous. Worse, Mulan was bringing him with her to stay, so we are playing musical families now! Er, how old is he, I asked. Twelve was the answer. Inward groans. Twelve is not a good age from my perspective. Oh, and don’t cook because she will take you and her brother for dinner in town. So the pork sat in the brine.
I walked to west gate to take a bus, the idea being that we could get a cab back to the door and I wouldn’t need to retrieve my bike. It was a pleasant evening and much as I think walking is unnatural, I quite enjoyed it. Shortly after leaving home and just as I was passing the boys dormitories I heard what sounded like a small kitten mewing. Being a sucker for baby animals I called out to it. Then it appeared. Not a small one, I estimate maybe five months old, a lovely ginger cat which came trotting over to me with its tail held high. I scratched its ears and carried on walking and then I witnessed something most unusual. It followed me as a dog would, near enough all the way to the west gate. That alone would be enough for me to gather it up and bring it home had I not already had four bundles of trouble.
I waited for the number seven bus intending to catch the last one but when it approached the stop and I hailed it the driver just carried on driving past! I understand now that the last bus had left ten minutes before. Angry, I started the long trek to the joint 7 & 29 bus stop, wishing now I had in fact taken the bike. My mood darkened when I saw two further 7s going the opposite way, for that bus goes about a mile past west gate, stops, turns round and retraces the route. The first driver, had he had a shred of decency (and knowing I wanted to go somewhere and there were no more buses that night), would have stopped and at least dumped me at the next stop so I could take a 29. No, not happy at all.
As it happened I still managed to get to the Sichuan restaurant five minutes before Mulan and her 15 (not 12) year old brother, who, not having an English name, had to be given one by me - Louis. Louis was too young to be looked after by the uncle when the parents scampered so he has been raised by the uncle’s sister. After a pleasant dinner it became a quiet night in with the promise of breakfast this morning.
I ferried the pair of them to south gate shortly after nine and we went for McBreakfast. Shopping on this occasion was secondary, the main purpose was for me to buy a bus ticket to Anqing on the 21st when I shall visit Yvonne. I had planned to take Mulan on the bike but with Louis in tow that wasn’t possible. Now Chinese people and McDonald’s big breakfasts have become something of a fascination for me, by way of the rather outlandish things they do with them. None have so far disappointed - from Anna with jam on the hash browns to Mulan and a jamburger, John with absolutely everything stuffed in the muffin including jam and this morning Louis with a full sachet of strawberry on top of the scrambled eggs. if I wasn’t now expecting such outrageous eating habits it would have put me off my own food.
I have my 27y ticket for the 90 minute trip to Anqing and the hotel is booked for two nights. I can only hope the weather is similar to today where it has been positively warm, then I can take the dog to hospital on the bike with no need of a taxi.
I had to have a nap this afternoon and when I woke up and switched the phone on there was a message from Mulan saying she had been invited out by friends, she may get drunk and don’t wait up. Great, not only do I not want to make ham just for two but earlier BECAUSE I was going to make it I refused a dinner invitation from the small school to celebrate new year. But then there was the small matter of the young man in the next room. Luckily I had some chilli in the freezer which has now gone. Plans? What plans?
There are photos of the gala show on the TV station website plus a couple of short clips in news broadcasts presumably advertising it so I attach the links.
http://www.0566md.com/news/viewtp.php?infoID=82070&Page=15
http://video.cznbtv.com/video/2015-02/13/cms28024article.shtml
http://video.cznbtv.com/video/2015-02/13/cms28014article.shtml
Thursday, 12 February 2015
Tuesday 10th February, 2015 1400
So far today has also been a This Is China day!
Yesterday my depression metamorphosed into illness, which would explain a lot. Dicky tummy, no appetite or energy and the result thus far is that the last food I ate was breakfast on Sunday morning. I have a bag of Doritos I will open shortly and force a few down.
I was up at dawn this morning to be picked up at 0840 and taken to the studios. This arrangement I learnt last night and it took me by surprise. We have rehearsals tonight at which they will film and then the show proper tomorrow night which will also be filmed, meaning if anything goes wrong one night they can use footage from the other. But I wasn’t expecting twice in one day!
I certainly wasn’t expecting to spend four hours today already in the studios as the various acts were required to repeat their performance, in some cases four times. Also, instead of being act ten of fourteen, our set are now the closing acts, apparently the director decided it was the most important although I fail to see why - having seen the police SWAT teams today I thought they were great, even though all the guns were pointed at me standing by the side of the audience.
Anyway, come ten o’clock and Wolfgang still hadn’t appeared, Sally phoned to see what the problem was. Apparently his wife has broken her ankle. It would have been common courtesy to make a quick call or send a text to let everyone know there would be a no-show. I am now wondering if it isn’t a bad case of stage fright, which if it is the case then we will learn tonight if he doesn’t show up again. Watch this space but I turned up even though I still feel under the weather. Oh and just to exacerbate matters my right knee has chosen to become arthritic as well! I have popped a pill and am going to have a nap - I got hardly any sleep last night because the damned cats were crying and fighting and Pooh was jumping up at the door trying to let them all out.
At least I am not being collected until 1930 as the show starts at eight. Mulan and Sarah will need to take a bus because if they want to ensure they get a seat for the show they need to be there by at least seven.
Wednesday 11th 1500
I tossed and turned in bed for two hours yesterday afternoon, desperate for sleep but of course I was overtired and the more you can’t sleep the angrier you get and the more impossible it is to sleep. And so it came to pass that I was picked up with my frontal lobes feeling somewhat numb.
Mulan, Sarah and little brother John had arrived at six thirty so they had 90 minutes to wait but at least they bagged seats. The place was heaving. At this point I hadn’t eaten anything bar a handful of crisps in two and a half days and I swear it was the energy emanating from the young performers that perked me up. Molly was there, as were her parents and I retired to my “office” - a small room with an exterior roller shutter that security had shooed me into when they caught me smoking. Before anyone thinks I was out of order, the police and army had all been smoking in the same place I was when I was collared! The new place was cold but much better as there was somewhere to sit. That was quite important because when practising the tai chi my part involves holding a rather unnatural position for some time and at my age and weight it isn’t easy so the more rest my feet and legs had the better.
Anyway, after dropping me off at the studio Sally had taken the firm’s car to go and collect/cajole Wolfgang into coming. At best he was going to be in shtuck because he will have forgotten everything and he would have had to practise plenty before the show. I declined simply because I wanted to save my legs for the real thing. The Master (who you will see is a long tall streak of…..) does impossible things with his legs, which were I to try would probably result in a hospital stay, replacement knees and a hernia operation so I am glad I am not expected to mimic him too much.
Fifteen minutes before we were due on stage the news came through. There would be no Wolfgang. Surprise, surprise. I took no comfort from being proved right, rather I felt really sorry for Sally who has put a lot of effort into this. We performed as a duet instead, not quite last but towards the end of the filming, which lasted precisely one hour. One of the hostesses apparently fainted on stage and had to be taken to hospital but I never saw that, rather I thought if anyone was going to it would be me from lack of food and sleep!
Anyway, Mulan had my camera and took a short video of my abysmal performance and I attach some photos of the show. Tonight is the big one!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK2JGT8grUw
After the show it was off to McDonald’s where I hoped to ingest something. I could only manage half a burger but at least I had something. Mulan and John paid for the taxis and food which was very kind of them.
This morning I had breakfast so I am fine now and after the show I have promised to make them hot dogs for supper (John is seemingly staying here for a few days while he studies for the gaokao - the college entrance exam, while Sarah stays at her student‘s home).
Now it’s time for a nap, hopefully I will actually sleep this time and post this late tonight.
Thursday 12th 1130
I didn’t get around to posting last night so this one is an epic.
When I came out of my room first thing though I was greeted with the sight of earth and debris all over the living room floor. Zorro had somehow managed to push the heavy pot which due to him had only contained the upright twig, off the wardrobe. It had crashed to the floor (I am told about seven but I never heard it) and demolished the plastic washing up bowl that served as the animal drinking water container. Thank God Mulan was here to clear up the mess or I would have been in a murderous mood.
I did though eat a full breakfast, which made me feel much, much better.
So, I was collected shortly before six-thirty and as we neared the studios I noticed that the entire building was lit up, not something I ever recall seeing. The lights must go on for VIPs only. There was a heavy police presence, with cars being turned away left, right and centre and people being prevented from entering unless they had ID tags. Of course I didn’t have one and, preceding Sally on the way in, I was stopped because of this. I had to laugh when one policeman blurted out what I assume was “it’s one of the laowei in the show” and the other suddenly looked at my face, opened his eyes wide and waved me through.
By now I was utterly convinced Wolfgang wouldn’t turn up and was beginning to feel really badly about him. Imagine my surprise when, on going into a private room we had by now claimed for ourselves, I was confronted by the vision of him already in his tang suit practising with the Master. Credit where it is due, he really rehearsed a lot in order to catch up. His wife did indeed break her ankle but as often happens, things got lost in translation. She broke it three months ago but is still having mobility problems, hence his need to stand us up the day before. He told me his restaurant was full to capacity that night and although everyone who could was helping out, he should really be there. I told him to think of the money he was making even whilst he was away and he said it’s not about the money.
Then when I updated him on the fact we were now the last set of acts he blurted out that if he had known that he wouldn’t have come! But of course, it’s not about the money is it?
But he was there and hats off for the work he put in to get up to speed. It seemed a long old wait, especially as this time there were policemen on the studio doors preventing even performers from entering. I tried just to sneak up the side of the seats to get a glimpse of the audience but was firmly refused even though I was wearing my kit.
I was told I had to go to make-up. Having refused the previous night, I did so again but they were adamant this time I had to have it. Never in all my years have I had make-up on (not even as a child I don’t think, experimenting with Mummy’s) and there I was having mascara, blusher, rouge etc put on my face while dozens of Chinese girls took photos of eyeliner and stuff being applied to my ugly physog. I am sure I was plastered all over QQ social network before even going on stage. I looked in the mirror once it was done and didn’t recognise myself. My eyebrows were dark, as were my eyes and with the lipstick (how can women put that on voluntarily??) I looked like an ageing drag queen. I could but chuckle to myself. Then it was a battle to get out of the room because it became a photocall with hordes of female performers. Eventually though everyone who wanted a snap with the foreign Mrs Doubtfire got one.
Then suddenly whilst we were waiting in our little room we were called backstage. Cock-up fright reared its ugly head but I had fortified myself with jing-jo as a precaution - praying I hadn’t overdone it! I could peek out at the audience, which surprisingly didn’t fill all the seats, there were still a few empty ones but there were others standing at the sides. There were military uniforms and, in the front seats, obviously the city leaders judging by the huge red sashes they wore.
And then it was showtime.
Please don’t bugger it up!
I would guess our little part lasted about a minute and haven’t seen any footage of it yet (although I hope to obtain a copy of the whole show) so I have no idea how we came across but my gut feeling is that we made a reasonable fist of it. Sally seemed both elated and relieved and I get the impression she may have had a lot riding on it career-wise.
But it was done and it was time to head home and make some pseudo hot dogs for my houseguests. In retrospect I have to say that I did rather enjoy the procedure (apart from the cosmetics!) and it has made me realise that when watching a large group of performers going through a complicated dance routine in synchronisation the amount of hard work they must put in to get it absolutely right. The show airs on the evening of new year’s eve (18th) and Sally and Molly are going to try to get an internet link so I can watch it. Mind you, as with everything I do, it wouldn’t surprise me if they completely cut our bit out!!
So far today has also been a This Is China day!
Yesterday my depression metamorphosed into illness, which would explain a lot. Dicky tummy, no appetite or energy and the result thus far is that the last food I ate was breakfast on Sunday morning. I have a bag of Doritos I will open shortly and force a few down.
I was up at dawn this morning to be picked up at 0840 and taken to the studios. This arrangement I learnt last night and it took me by surprise. We have rehearsals tonight at which they will film and then the show proper tomorrow night which will also be filmed, meaning if anything goes wrong one night they can use footage from the other. But I wasn’t expecting twice in one day!
I certainly wasn’t expecting to spend four hours today already in the studios as the various acts were required to repeat their performance, in some cases four times. Also, instead of being act ten of fourteen, our set are now the closing acts, apparently the director decided it was the most important although I fail to see why - having seen the police SWAT teams today I thought they were great, even though all the guns were pointed at me standing by the side of the audience.
Anyway, come ten o’clock and Wolfgang still hadn’t appeared, Sally phoned to see what the problem was. Apparently his wife has broken her ankle. It would have been common courtesy to make a quick call or send a text to let everyone know there would be a no-show. I am now wondering if it isn’t a bad case of stage fright, which if it is the case then we will learn tonight if he doesn’t show up again. Watch this space but I turned up even though I still feel under the weather. Oh and just to exacerbate matters my right knee has chosen to become arthritic as well! I have popped a pill and am going to have a nap - I got hardly any sleep last night because the damned cats were crying and fighting and Pooh was jumping up at the door trying to let them all out.
At least I am not being collected until 1930 as the show starts at eight. Mulan and Sarah will need to take a bus because if they want to ensure they get a seat for the show they need to be there by at least seven.
Wednesday 11th 1500
I tossed and turned in bed for two hours yesterday afternoon, desperate for sleep but of course I was overtired and the more you can’t sleep the angrier you get and the more impossible it is to sleep. And so it came to pass that I was picked up with my frontal lobes feeling somewhat numb.
Mulan, Sarah and little brother John had arrived at six thirty so they had 90 minutes to wait but at least they bagged seats. The place was heaving. At this point I hadn’t eaten anything bar a handful of crisps in two and a half days and I swear it was the energy emanating from the young performers that perked me up. Molly was there, as were her parents and I retired to my “office” - a small room with an exterior roller shutter that security had shooed me into when they caught me smoking. Before anyone thinks I was out of order, the police and army had all been smoking in the same place I was when I was collared! The new place was cold but much better as there was somewhere to sit. That was quite important because when practising the tai chi my part involves holding a rather unnatural position for some time and at my age and weight it isn’t easy so the more rest my feet and legs had the better.
Anyway, after dropping me off at the studio Sally had taken the firm’s car to go and collect/cajole Wolfgang into coming. At best he was going to be in shtuck because he will have forgotten everything and he would have had to practise plenty before the show. I declined simply because I wanted to save my legs for the real thing. The Master (who you will see is a long tall streak of…..) does impossible things with his legs, which were I to try would probably result in a hospital stay, replacement knees and a hernia operation so I am glad I am not expected to mimic him too much.
Fifteen minutes before we were due on stage the news came through. There would be no Wolfgang. Surprise, surprise. I took no comfort from being proved right, rather I felt really sorry for Sally who has put a lot of effort into this. We performed as a duet instead, not quite last but towards the end of the filming, which lasted precisely one hour. One of the hostesses apparently fainted on stage and had to be taken to hospital but I never saw that, rather I thought if anyone was going to it would be me from lack of food and sleep!
Anyway, Mulan had my camera and took a short video of my abysmal performance and I attach some photos of the show. Tonight is the big one!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK2JGT8grUw
After the show it was off to McDonald’s where I hoped to ingest something. I could only manage half a burger but at least I had something. Mulan and John paid for the taxis and food which was very kind of them.
This morning I had breakfast so I am fine now and after the show I have promised to make them hot dogs for supper (John is seemingly staying here for a few days while he studies for the gaokao - the college entrance exam, while Sarah stays at her student‘s home).
Now it’s time for a nap, hopefully I will actually sleep this time and post this late tonight.
Thursday 12th 1130
I didn’t get around to posting last night so this one is an epic.
When I came out of my room first thing though I was greeted with the sight of earth and debris all over the living room floor. Zorro had somehow managed to push the heavy pot which due to him had only contained the upright twig, off the wardrobe. It had crashed to the floor (I am told about seven but I never heard it) and demolished the plastic washing up bowl that served as the animal drinking water container. Thank God Mulan was here to clear up the mess or I would have been in a murderous mood.
I did though eat a full breakfast, which made me feel much, much better.
So, I was collected shortly before six-thirty and as we neared the studios I noticed that the entire building was lit up, not something I ever recall seeing. The lights must go on for VIPs only. There was a heavy police presence, with cars being turned away left, right and centre and people being prevented from entering unless they had ID tags. Of course I didn’t have one and, preceding Sally on the way in, I was stopped because of this. I had to laugh when one policeman blurted out what I assume was “it’s one of the laowei in the show” and the other suddenly looked at my face, opened his eyes wide and waved me through.
By now I was utterly convinced Wolfgang wouldn’t turn up and was beginning to feel really badly about him. Imagine my surprise when, on going into a private room we had by now claimed for ourselves, I was confronted by the vision of him already in his tang suit practising with the Master. Credit where it is due, he really rehearsed a lot in order to catch up. His wife did indeed break her ankle but as often happens, things got lost in translation. She broke it three months ago but is still having mobility problems, hence his need to stand us up the day before. He told me his restaurant was full to capacity that night and although everyone who could was helping out, he should really be there. I told him to think of the money he was making even whilst he was away and he said it’s not about the money.
Then when I updated him on the fact we were now the last set of acts he blurted out that if he had known that he wouldn’t have come! But of course, it’s not about the money is it?
But he was there and hats off for the work he put in to get up to speed. It seemed a long old wait, especially as this time there were policemen on the studio doors preventing even performers from entering. I tried just to sneak up the side of the seats to get a glimpse of the audience but was firmly refused even though I was wearing my kit.
I was told I had to go to make-up. Having refused the previous night, I did so again but they were adamant this time I had to have it. Never in all my years have I had make-up on (not even as a child I don’t think, experimenting with Mummy’s) and there I was having mascara, blusher, rouge etc put on my face while dozens of Chinese girls took photos of eyeliner and stuff being applied to my ugly physog. I am sure I was plastered all over QQ social network before even going on stage. I looked in the mirror once it was done and didn’t recognise myself. My eyebrows were dark, as were my eyes and with the lipstick (how can women put that on voluntarily??) I looked like an ageing drag queen. I could but chuckle to myself. Then it was a battle to get out of the room because it became a photocall with hordes of female performers. Eventually though everyone who wanted a snap with the foreign Mrs Doubtfire got one.
Then suddenly whilst we were waiting in our little room we were called backstage. Cock-up fright reared its ugly head but I had fortified myself with jing-jo as a precaution - praying I hadn’t overdone it! I could peek out at the audience, which surprisingly didn’t fill all the seats, there were still a few empty ones but there were others standing at the sides. There were military uniforms and, in the front seats, obviously the city leaders judging by the huge red sashes they wore.
And then it was showtime.
Please don’t bugger it up!
I would guess our little part lasted about a minute and haven’t seen any footage of it yet (although I hope to obtain a copy of the whole show) so I have no idea how we came across but my gut feeling is that we made a reasonable fist of it. Sally seemed both elated and relieved and I get the impression she may have had a lot riding on it career-wise.
But it was done and it was time to head home and make some pseudo hot dogs for my houseguests. In retrospect I have to say that I did rather enjoy the procedure (apart from the cosmetics!) and it has made me realise that when watching a large group of performers going through a complicated dance routine in synchronisation the amount of hard work they must put in to get it absolutely right. The show airs on the evening of new year’s eve (18th) and Sally and Molly are going to try to get an internet link so I can watch it. Mind you, as with everything I do, it wouldn’t surprise me if they completely cut our bit out!!
Monday, 9 February 2015
Monday 9th February, 2015 1000
This is China.
The above is the often used and resigned refrain from westerners living here, in response to another calamity, unfathomable piece of logic or other bemusing occurrence.
Yesterday was in every sense a “This Is China” day.
I got up early and made ready for the trip to town to rendezvous with the TV people. The plan was to meet Molly and her friend Casey and have breakfast before starting “work”. I was cursing Mulan for dragging her heels as I had arranged to be there at nine and her tardiness ensured we would be late. Just as we boarded the bus I received a text from Molly. She was not happy and her text was guaranteed to incur my displeasure.
She was already on the way to McDonald’s when the director called her to tell her filming was cancelled. They had been despatched to the airport instead. Not unnaturally, Molly was miffed and demanded to know why she was only being told this half an hour before the event. He said he had sent a message to her on WeChat (some messaging internet thing) the night before. Well she never saw it as she was sleeping and never went online when she got up before leaving. Anyone with an ounce of commonsense would, on noting that the WeChat message had not been acknowledged, telephone and text in order to guarantee the message was received but not him. It turned out that it was indeed for the best in respect of the little school failing to get involved, otherwise there would have been far more people unhappy.
Anyway, we decided we would still meet for breakfast regardless. When we had eaten Mulan received a message telling her a parcel had arrived in town for her. It turned out to be a box of wine with wine glasses. She left and then spent the next two hours chasing all over town trying to find where it was.
As is often the case, the best of times can come after a disastrous start and as Molly and Casey were free all day they pondered what we could do now. I suggested we could go to the end of the 29 route and see if any Yangtse cruise ships were docked, so that’s what we did. We were disappointed in there not being any ships tied up but the girls had never been there so we walked around for a while before heading back. There was a cold wind blowing and on getting to a deserted bus I opened the door and we got on into its warm interior. A couple of minutes later the female driver emerged from a shop and with a face like thunder demanded to know (in Chinese of course but there was no mistaking what she was saying) who had opened the doors. I indicated I had done the deed and then Molly told me she was indignant as she was on a break. I in return said we never asked her to cut her break short, we just wanted to get warm.
She obviously had the right hump because when we got to the stop we needed so we could go to a western style “pub” she stopped the bus and only opened the entry doors, not the exit ones. She could clearly see we wanted to alight but nonetheless proceeded to drive off, prompting shouts from me - and very nearly a rude word.
The bar was closed and we had twenty minutes or so to kill so we went into a small café to wait, during which time I asked Mulan to come and meet us in the bar when she finally located her package. We spent a couple of hours having drinks/coffee and when Mulan arrived we destroyed (well mainly me) one of her bottles of wine. I may order the same box next term, for it was 70y for two bottles of vino and four rather sturdy wine glasses.
I then suggested everyone came back to mine and I would cook them dinner. That involved shopping and I planned chicken wings followed by mince and potatoes spiced up with chilli. In the end they only wanted the wings and Mulan disappeared to see one of her students. The two girls eventually left with just enough time to catch the last bus from school and by then I was really tired. Now that Pooh is back the door has to be kept locked to stop him from liberating the other three cats so I checked that Mulan had her key. No, she hadn’t. This revelation did nothing to cheer me up because I couldn’t go to bed until she got back and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. The reception she got when she did finally return was frosty indeed.
I think I had a good sleep but for some strange reason ever since I woke up I have been feeling depressed. I can think of no cause for it, I have nothing to do today if I don’t want to do anything and nothing is troubling me. I still have over three weeks holiday left as well. Most odd but hopefully as the day wears on my spirits will lift.
Oh yes, while we were out it seems Zorro worked out a way to scale the heights of the wardrobe and join Pooh in the heavens. The casualty of this little adventure was my friendship tree. There are leaves everywhere and all that is left sticking forlornly up out of the pot is a naked twig now.
This is China.
The above is the often used and resigned refrain from westerners living here, in response to another calamity, unfathomable piece of logic or other bemusing occurrence.
Yesterday was in every sense a “This Is China” day.
I got up early and made ready for the trip to town to rendezvous with the TV people. The plan was to meet Molly and her friend Casey and have breakfast before starting “work”. I was cursing Mulan for dragging her heels as I had arranged to be there at nine and her tardiness ensured we would be late. Just as we boarded the bus I received a text from Molly. She was not happy and her text was guaranteed to incur my displeasure.
She was already on the way to McDonald’s when the director called her to tell her filming was cancelled. They had been despatched to the airport instead. Not unnaturally, Molly was miffed and demanded to know why she was only being told this half an hour before the event. He said he had sent a message to her on WeChat (some messaging internet thing) the night before. Well she never saw it as she was sleeping and never went online when she got up before leaving. Anyone with an ounce of commonsense would, on noting that the WeChat message had not been acknowledged, telephone and text in order to guarantee the message was received but not him. It turned out that it was indeed for the best in respect of the little school failing to get involved, otherwise there would have been far more people unhappy.
Anyway, we decided we would still meet for breakfast regardless. When we had eaten Mulan received a message telling her a parcel had arrived in town for her. It turned out to be a box of wine with wine glasses. She left and then spent the next two hours chasing all over town trying to find where it was.
As is often the case, the best of times can come after a disastrous start and as Molly and Casey were free all day they pondered what we could do now. I suggested we could go to the end of the 29 route and see if any Yangtse cruise ships were docked, so that’s what we did. We were disappointed in there not being any ships tied up but the girls had never been there so we walked around for a while before heading back. There was a cold wind blowing and on getting to a deserted bus I opened the door and we got on into its warm interior. A couple of minutes later the female driver emerged from a shop and with a face like thunder demanded to know (in Chinese of course but there was no mistaking what she was saying) who had opened the doors. I indicated I had done the deed and then Molly told me she was indignant as she was on a break. I in return said we never asked her to cut her break short, we just wanted to get warm.
She obviously had the right hump because when we got to the stop we needed so we could go to a western style “pub” she stopped the bus and only opened the entry doors, not the exit ones. She could clearly see we wanted to alight but nonetheless proceeded to drive off, prompting shouts from me - and very nearly a rude word.
The bar was closed and we had twenty minutes or so to kill so we went into a small café to wait, during which time I asked Mulan to come and meet us in the bar when she finally located her package. We spent a couple of hours having drinks/coffee and when Mulan arrived we destroyed (well mainly me) one of her bottles of wine. I may order the same box next term, for it was 70y for two bottles of vino and four rather sturdy wine glasses.
I then suggested everyone came back to mine and I would cook them dinner. That involved shopping and I planned chicken wings followed by mince and potatoes spiced up with chilli. In the end they only wanted the wings and Mulan disappeared to see one of her students. The two girls eventually left with just enough time to catch the last bus from school and by then I was really tired. Now that Pooh is back the door has to be kept locked to stop him from liberating the other three cats so I checked that Mulan had her key. No, she hadn’t. This revelation did nothing to cheer me up because I couldn’t go to bed until she got back and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. The reception she got when she did finally return was frosty indeed.
I think I had a good sleep but for some strange reason ever since I woke up I have been feeling depressed. I can think of no cause for it, I have nothing to do today if I don’t want to do anything and nothing is troubling me. I still have over three weeks holiday left as well. Most odd but hopefully as the day wears on my spirits will lift.
Oh yes, while we were out it seems Zorro worked out a way to scale the heights of the wardrobe and join Pooh in the heavens. The casualty of this little adventure was my friendship tree. There are leaves everywhere and all that is left sticking forlornly up out of the pot is a naked twig now.
Saturday, 7 February 2015
Saturday 7th February, 2015 1600
And things move on apace.
And the owner of the little school has probably just lost the best chance he will ever have for the biggest free publicity he could ever wish for. In true style he has singularly failed to confirm anything to me and has actually succeeded in embarrassing me. I have done my utmost to insist that his schoolkids appear in the programme about me but he has failed to do anything about it. His loss though. I did my best.
So I have an early start in the morning, the film crew will meet us at McDonald’s at nine. They had said the supermarket but sod that, I want a free breakfast before they film me shopping. After that I now have no idea where we will go. I hope it’s Apricot Village as it is a lovely place and I may get the chance to take Molly out on the lake in an electric launch. Dumpling making seems to be their goal so that may take place in Apricot Village or alternatively at Molly’s home.
I have Monday free (seeing as it now appears I won’t probably be required for the small school winter camp which may well not happen at all) and then Tuesday and Wednesday we are at the TV studio filming.
I did the breakfast run again this morning but the priority on this occasion was to get my monthly supply of cigars, something I could do early seeing as we were paid early in order that the accounts department could enjoy their spring festival, that’s only the second time it has happened. I now have two months (1200 cigars) stash in my home!
I was sitting in office number six at lunchtime and sending messages to Yvonne and Joan regarding whether they could watch our local TV for obvious reasons. And then something quite extraordinary happened.
For the first time in decades I suddenly felt lonely. Lonely as hell. And it was completely alien to me. I suddenly realised that I desperately miss Kiki, Joanna, Anna, Yvonne and Joan. It really hit me like a train. Whenever anyone asks me here “don’t you feel lonely?” my disparaging reply is that to feel that particular emotion you need to be devoid of imagination. I have obviously been a trifle in error because all it takes is people you care about and I care about all of the aforementioned. Childish ramblings I know but then children are so often guilty of telling the brutal truth……
Now I have already booked my hotel in Anqing for 21/22 February to visit Yvonne but the urge to see Joan again was overpowering. She of course thinks I am bonkers because the train takes eight and a half hours to Suzhou, not too bad going because it leaves in the morning and arrives early evening but coming back it gets here in the wee hours. If I can get tickets (not guaranteed seeing as we are in the middle of the biggest recurring annual human migration on the planet with billions of journeys taking place as people go home for their special time) I am going. I will spend the extra if I can to get a sleeping berth. Mulan is coming with me tomorrow so if we have time I will get her to come to the ticket office with me. I will be mightily peed off if I can’t go, although financially of course it would be the reverse. Bugger it, you only live once, I have never been to Suzhou and they have Italian restaurants!
I was going to have a snooze this afternoon but it’s too late now. If I nap I won’t go to bed early and really I need to be reasonably fresh for filming. I say “reasonably” which means just my usual lethargic self these days!
Sarah is dining with the other teachers tonight so it is just Mulan and I and I will make cheese, prawn and mushroom omelettes for us with chips for dinner. After the frittata the other night I will include chilli oil in the egg mix, definitely something for everyone to try at home!
Oh I just thought - the small school owner booked McDonald’s childrens’ hostesses for Sunday. Am I to be embarrassed there too?
And things move on apace.
And the owner of the little school has probably just lost the best chance he will ever have for the biggest free publicity he could ever wish for. In true style he has singularly failed to confirm anything to me and has actually succeeded in embarrassing me. I have done my utmost to insist that his schoolkids appear in the programme about me but he has failed to do anything about it. His loss though. I did my best.
So I have an early start in the morning, the film crew will meet us at McDonald’s at nine. They had said the supermarket but sod that, I want a free breakfast before they film me shopping. After that I now have no idea where we will go. I hope it’s Apricot Village as it is a lovely place and I may get the chance to take Molly out on the lake in an electric launch. Dumpling making seems to be their goal so that may take place in Apricot Village or alternatively at Molly’s home.
I have Monday free (seeing as it now appears I won’t probably be required for the small school winter camp which may well not happen at all) and then Tuesday and Wednesday we are at the TV studio filming.
I did the breakfast run again this morning but the priority on this occasion was to get my monthly supply of cigars, something I could do early seeing as we were paid early in order that the accounts department could enjoy their spring festival, that’s only the second time it has happened. I now have two months (1200 cigars) stash in my home!
I was sitting in office number six at lunchtime and sending messages to Yvonne and Joan regarding whether they could watch our local TV for obvious reasons. And then something quite extraordinary happened.
For the first time in decades I suddenly felt lonely. Lonely as hell. And it was completely alien to me. I suddenly realised that I desperately miss Kiki, Joanna, Anna, Yvonne and Joan. It really hit me like a train. Whenever anyone asks me here “don’t you feel lonely?” my disparaging reply is that to feel that particular emotion you need to be devoid of imagination. I have obviously been a trifle in error because all it takes is people you care about and I care about all of the aforementioned. Childish ramblings I know but then children are so often guilty of telling the brutal truth……
Now I have already booked my hotel in Anqing for 21/22 February to visit Yvonne but the urge to see Joan again was overpowering. She of course thinks I am bonkers because the train takes eight and a half hours to Suzhou, not too bad going because it leaves in the morning and arrives early evening but coming back it gets here in the wee hours. If I can get tickets (not guaranteed seeing as we are in the middle of the biggest recurring annual human migration on the planet with billions of journeys taking place as people go home for their special time) I am going. I will spend the extra if I can to get a sleeping berth. Mulan is coming with me tomorrow so if we have time I will get her to come to the ticket office with me. I will be mightily peed off if I can’t go, although financially of course it would be the reverse. Bugger it, you only live once, I have never been to Suzhou and they have Italian restaurants!
I was going to have a snooze this afternoon but it’s too late now. If I nap I won’t go to bed early and really I need to be reasonably fresh for filming. I say “reasonably” which means just my usual lethargic self these days!
Sarah is dining with the other teachers tonight so it is just Mulan and I and I will make cheese, prawn and mushroom omelettes for us with chips for dinner. After the frittata the other night I will include chilli oil in the egg mix, definitely something for everyone to try at home!
Oh I just thought - the small school owner booked McDonald’s childrens’ hostesses for Sunday. Am I to be embarrassed there too?
Friday, 6 February 2015
Friday 6th February, 2015 1630
I (or rather my wallet) am/is in shock. More on that later.
The water finally returned at about 1600 on Wednesday and I gratefully went and showered. After that I washed a mountain of dishes which had built up and Mulan swept and mopped the flat, studiously omitting my bedroom and for which she was taken to task. Luckily Sarah was being treated to dinner by her headmaster in town and Mulan just wanted pot noodles. I was sorely tempted to go the entire day having eaten nothing but thought better of it and heated my last remaining pie (must order another load in the next day or two) so that at least I had ingested something that day.
Yesterday Mulan and I went to town for the now customary holiday breakfast/shopping run. This time she had a McMuffin so couldn’t do anything disgusting with it and again I stocked up on cheap wine in advance of the transport shutdown. As I think the buses only stop for one day, I reckon I am well prepared as from memory I have a dozen bottles in stock and will be on my own anyway.
Mulan left on her e-bike to visit her uncle. She took a plastic laundry box with her for him which in my opinion was crazy. It was so big the only place (short of tying it to the rear of the bike) it could possibly fit was behind her and that would leave about an inch of seat for her but do it she did. Sarah was once again being fed in town and, not fancying cooking just for myself, I invited Molly to come and meet me in town.
I gave her the choice of western (pizza/steak etc) or Love in Town and she plumped for the latter. For the first time there the ordering was spot on re quantity. Everything bar two small spring rolls was consumed and I really enjoyed Molly’s company. Sadly in my haste to leave to get the bus after my nap, yet again I forgot my camera so have no photo of her to show you. I will rectify that in time, I promise. I was also pleasantly pleased to only have to pay 28y for the meal after presenting an in-date discount voucher.
Sarah met me at the bus stop when we had eaten as she had finished teaching, like me she doesn’t relish walking getting on for a mile uphill from south gate to my home, although today she borrowed her own e-bike from her baby brother so she is now a free spiri and taking advantage of my free power to charge it up.
This morning it was Sarah’s turn to come on the breakfast run although she left straight afterwards to go handing out recruitment leaflets for her headmaster so the shopping was left to me. I thought Anna was bad in McDonald’s but Sarah went a step further today by shovelling her Big Breakfast into the muffin and including strawberry jam with the eggs and sausage patty. Unbelievable. As I am effectively down to one pair of everyday trousers (the UK ones are all now too small and the ones I wore today are so tight I have detached the zip from the main body) I decided it was time to buy some new ones. I thought perhaps a couple of pairs would set me back between 200-300 yuan in RT Mart.
Arriving at the clothing section in the supermarket I saw some decent looking slacks and duly waited for assistance. Normally in Chinese shops you get assistance even when you don’t want it but this morning there was no-one in sight. More to the point, nobody was manning the sewing machines at which they adjust leg length. After waiting a few minutes my patience ran out and I decided to take my clothing custom elsewhere and instead went and bought wine and chicken (yes, tonight Sarah and I will have the arrabbiata while Mulan has a hot dinner date with a fat boy from her high school days) and then I embarked on the odyssey that my garment purchasing always entails in China.
I did consider getting some tailor-made in view of my upcoming renewed stardom on the small screen but dismissed the idea due to time constraints. Instead, I visited shop after shop in New West Street and eventually West Street itself. Now these are expensive shops, you don’t have to ask the prices to realise that, however I did want to buy trousers that would last more than a month before the pockets holed or the arse split. Everywhere I went the response was “mayo” even when I indicated that I wear my trousers under rather than over the gut. Being a fatty in China is really not funny sometimes.
Eventually though I found somewhere, a “designer” (admittedly Chinese designer) label shop which could accommodate. Now, “designer label” has to be just about the most idiotic description ever invented by man - I mean, is everything that is not “designer” simply accidentally thrown together, nobody designs those cheap jeans????
I was given two pairs of what to me felt like good quality breeks, tried them on and they fitted aside from needing a couple of feet chopping off the legs. Great, I will take them even though they are both almost identical and the students will think I wear the same trousers all the time. Could they sell me a new belt? No but they took me to another shop while my kecks were being shortened.
This is where I went into shock. Two pairs of trousers and a belt, admittedly good gear, set me back 600y. It’s done now though and I have decent attire for the filming.
Speaking of which, the programme they want to do about me would appear to be getting shot on Sunday. I have done my utmost to get my friend’s little school some free advertising and I think they will film a bit in Apricot Village with me and the kids and from what I can gather I have to go market shopping (plus bartering) and making dumplings either in the kindergarten in the village or at Molly’s home. Molly really wants to get her parents on TV! It’s going to be a long Sunday methinks.
As for the spring festival gala programme, we have a full rehearsal on Tuesday and the show with all the dignitaries on Wednesday. I failed in getting Mulan and Sarah into Wednesday’s show but succeeded in getting them to Tuesday’s. Plus they should get a seat if we are early enough. The TV studio is filming both nights anyway in case anything goes wrong, then they can mix and match footage for broadcasting, very prudent indeed.
Before I post this I simply HAVE to make an observation regarding Mulan.
I believe she would prefer to be and I believe she should be, a boy.
Her eructations erupt with that many decibels and with such a low timbre so as to place her in the top three in terms of manly belches I have ever heard produced in my entire life. Whilst this may seem amusing to some and indeed in other circumstances it may to me, the problem is that when she does it in my company everyone in earshot (approximately a half mile radius) immediately assumes I was the one who emulated a two hundred pound bullfrog on amphetamines. After all, how could a sweet girl possibly be the guilty one?
Come back soon Anna, your “Hey Steve! Hehehehe!” is far more preferable!
I (or rather my wallet) am/is in shock. More on that later.
The water finally returned at about 1600 on Wednesday and I gratefully went and showered. After that I washed a mountain of dishes which had built up and Mulan swept and mopped the flat, studiously omitting my bedroom and for which she was taken to task. Luckily Sarah was being treated to dinner by her headmaster in town and Mulan just wanted pot noodles. I was sorely tempted to go the entire day having eaten nothing but thought better of it and heated my last remaining pie (must order another load in the next day or two) so that at least I had ingested something that day.
Yesterday Mulan and I went to town for the now customary holiday breakfast/shopping run. This time she had a McMuffin so couldn’t do anything disgusting with it and again I stocked up on cheap wine in advance of the transport shutdown. As I think the buses only stop for one day, I reckon I am well prepared as from memory I have a dozen bottles in stock and will be on my own anyway.
Mulan left on her e-bike to visit her uncle. She took a plastic laundry box with her for him which in my opinion was crazy. It was so big the only place (short of tying it to the rear of the bike) it could possibly fit was behind her and that would leave about an inch of seat for her but do it she did. Sarah was once again being fed in town and, not fancying cooking just for myself, I invited Molly to come and meet me in town.
I gave her the choice of western (pizza/steak etc) or Love in Town and she plumped for the latter. For the first time there the ordering was spot on re quantity. Everything bar two small spring rolls was consumed and I really enjoyed Molly’s company. Sadly in my haste to leave to get the bus after my nap, yet again I forgot my camera so have no photo of her to show you. I will rectify that in time, I promise. I was also pleasantly pleased to only have to pay 28y for the meal after presenting an in-date discount voucher.
Sarah met me at the bus stop when we had eaten as she had finished teaching, like me she doesn’t relish walking getting on for a mile uphill from south gate to my home, although today she borrowed her own e-bike from her baby brother so she is now a free spiri and taking advantage of my free power to charge it up.
This morning it was Sarah’s turn to come on the breakfast run although she left straight afterwards to go handing out recruitment leaflets for her headmaster so the shopping was left to me. I thought Anna was bad in McDonald’s but Sarah went a step further today by shovelling her Big Breakfast into the muffin and including strawberry jam with the eggs and sausage patty. Unbelievable. As I am effectively down to one pair of everyday trousers (the UK ones are all now too small and the ones I wore today are so tight I have detached the zip from the main body) I decided it was time to buy some new ones. I thought perhaps a couple of pairs would set me back between 200-300 yuan in RT Mart.
Arriving at the clothing section in the supermarket I saw some decent looking slacks and duly waited for assistance. Normally in Chinese shops you get assistance even when you don’t want it but this morning there was no-one in sight. More to the point, nobody was manning the sewing machines at which they adjust leg length. After waiting a few minutes my patience ran out and I decided to take my clothing custom elsewhere and instead went and bought wine and chicken (yes, tonight Sarah and I will have the arrabbiata while Mulan has a hot dinner date with a fat boy from her high school days) and then I embarked on the odyssey that my garment purchasing always entails in China.
I did consider getting some tailor-made in view of my upcoming renewed stardom on the small screen but dismissed the idea due to time constraints. Instead, I visited shop after shop in New West Street and eventually West Street itself. Now these are expensive shops, you don’t have to ask the prices to realise that, however I did want to buy trousers that would last more than a month before the pockets holed or the arse split. Everywhere I went the response was “mayo” even when I indicated that I wear my trousers under rather than over the gut. Being a fatty in China is really not funny sometimes.
Eventually though I found somewhere, a “designer” (admittedly Chinese designer) label shop which could accommodate. Now, “designer label” has to be just about the most idiotic description ever invented by man - I mean, is everything that is not “designer” simply accidentally thrown together, nobody designs those cheap jeans????
I was given two pairs of what to me felt like good quality breeks, tried them on and they fitted aside from needing a couple of feet chopping off the legs. Great, I will take them even though they are both almost identical and the students will think I wear the same trousers all the time. Could they sell me a new belt? No but they took me to another shop while my kecks were being shortened.
This is where I went into shock. Two pairs of trousers and a belt, admittedly good gear, set me back 600y. It’s done now though and I have decent attire for the filming.
Speaking of which, the programme they want to do about me would appear to be getting shot on Sunday. I have done my utmost to get my friend’s little school some free advertising and I think they will film a bit in Apricot Village with me and the kids and from what I can gather I have to go market shopping (plus bartering) and making dumplings either in the kindergarten in the village or at Molly’s home. Molly really wants to get her parents on TV! It’s going to be a long Sunday methinks.
As for the spring festival gala programme, we have a full rehearsal on Tuesday and the show with all the dignitaries on Wednesday. I failed in getting Mulan and Sarah into Wednesday’s show but succeeded in getting them to Tuesday’s. Plus they should get a seat if we are early enough. The TV studio is filming both nights anyway in case anything goes wrong, then they can mix and match footage for broadcasting, very prudent indeed.
Before I post this I simply HAVE to make an observation regarding Mulan.
I believe she would prefer to be and I believe she should be, a boy.
Her eructations erupt with that many decibels and with such a low timbre so as to place her in the top three in terms of manly belches I have ever heard produced in my entire life. Whilst this may seem amusing to some and indeed in other circumstances it may to me, the problem is that when she does it in my company everyone in earshot (approximately a half mile radius) immediately assumes I was the one who emulated a two hundred pound bullfrog on amphetamines. After all, how could a sweet girl possibly be the guilty one?
Come back soon Anna, your “Hey Steve! Hehehehe!” is far more preferable!
Wednesday, 4 February 2015
Wednesday 4th February, 2015 1220
Yet again there is no water and hasn’t been for over 24 hours. Sarah and I returned from the breakfast/shopping run at midday yesterday and she was horrified that after doing her business she couldn’t flush the loo. I expected it to be back on yesterday afternoon.
Unable to do the dishes, I went out with Pepsi for a couple of hours and during that time I texted Mulan, eliciting the information that at five o’clock we still had no water. Serious concerns now, so a message to Cinny to ask what was happening. She knew nothing about it, not being on campus at the time and expressed surprise for she was returning later in the evening. On my way back I encountered two women carrying flasks and asked them if they had water at home now. No, they had trekked far away to fill their flasks. This is only affecting the school because the restaurant I had been in not too distant had running water. The ladies told me the water would be fixed tomorrow (today). Here we are and still no sign of it.
Unable to cook the chicken arrabbiata I had intended, the best I could do was a frittata. To avoid it being too bland for the girls I added a liberal dose of chilli oil to the egg mix and I must say it is something I will certainly do again - we all enjoyed it. Being unable to wash my hands afterwards, I hadn’t chopped bacon (which I would normally include) so all we had was onion, pepper, mushrooms and cheese. Chalk one up for inspiration.
Last nights late walk with Pepsi was once again tense as I was on constant alert in case she met up with Stumpy. I have to take a torch now they have turned many of the street lamps off but of him there was no sign. However, on our return someone was sitting halfway up the stairs sheltering from the cold. Dirty and scruffy though he was, there was no mistaking Pooh. After all these months I had a chance to catch him. He made a half-hearted attempt to get away but I scooped him up with happy heart and brought him home.
Not everyone was happy to see him though. Tigger and Lottie, although seemingly uninterested in the addition of a tramp to the fold, merely looked on with disdain. Bully boy Zorro was a different kettle of fish. He has been able to dominate both the older cats and Pepsi without demur but Pooh, already a cat who could look after himself even before he went feral, is more than a match for him. I warned the girls the night could be a noisy one and indeed it was, I was thankful the building is sparsely populated otherwise there would have been complaints lodged. After a couple of hours all was quiet again. Pooh is the only one of the four who can leap on top of the wardrobes and he often spends quiet time up there watching sphinx-like all below him. I must say, whatever he has been doing he hasn’t starved because he is still a porker. Welcome home Pooh.
I sent Cinny a text before starting this, asking if they were working on the water pump because if it wasn’t going to be fixed today I would need to get an hotel room in order to shower and suchlike. She has contacted those in the know and works are indeed being carried out, the message being that they hope to have normal service back sometime today. Good job I had nothing special planned.
1440
Ever get the feeling the entire day is going to be one of those days? Still no water. At least the girls can take their pick of the squat toilets in the teaching blocks but I am buggered - even if I could get down to use one I’d never get back up again! And there’s the problem of feeding the pets. The cats (with the probable exception now of Pooh) won’t touch anything other than meat which has been boiled and I am not about to spend a fortune buying bottled water.
On the bright side, at least we still have electricity and internet,
Yet again there is no water and hasn’t been for over 24 hours. Sarah and I returned from the breakfast/shopping run at midday yesterday and she was horrified that after doing her business she couldn’t flush the loo. I expected it to be back on yesterday afternoon.
Unable to do the dishes, I went out with Pepsi for a couple of hours and during that time I texted Mulan, eliciting the information that at five o’clock we still had no water. Serious concerns now, so a message to Cinny to ask what was happening. She knew nothing about it, not being on campus at the time and expressed surprise for she was returning later in the evening. On my way back I encountered two women carrying flasks and asked them if they had water at home now. No, they had trekked far away to fill their flasks. This is only affecting the school because the restaurant I had been in not too distant had running water. The ladies told me the water would be fixed tomorrow (today). Here we are and still no sign of it.
Unable to cook the chicken arrabbiata I had intended, the best I could do was a frittata. To avoid it being too bland for the girls I added a liberal dose of chilli oil to the egg mix and I must say it is something I will certainly do again - we all enjoyed it. Being unable to wash my hands afterwards, I hadn’t chopped bacon (which I would normally include) so all we had was onion, pepper, mushrooms and cheese. Chalk one up for inspiration.
Last nights late walk with Pepsi was once again tense as I was on constant alert in case she met up with Stumpy. I have to take a torch now they have turned many of the street lamps off but of him there was no sign. However, on our return someone was sitting halfway up the stairs sheltering from the cold. Dirty and scruffy though he was, there was no mistaking Pooh. After all these months I had a chance to catch him. He made a half-hearted attempt to get away but I scooped him up with happy heart and brought him home.
Not everyone was happy to see him though. Tigger and Lottie, although seemingly uninterested in the addition of a tramp to the fold, merely looked on with disdain. Bully boy Zorro was a different kettle of fish. He has been able to dominate both the older cats and Pepsi without demur but Pooh, already a cat who could look after himself even before he went feral, is more than a match for him. I warned the girls the night could be a noisy one and indeed it was, I was thankful the building is sparsely populated otherwise there would have been complaints lodged. After a couple of hours all was quiet again. Pooh is the only one of the four who can leap on top of the wardrobes and he often spends quiet time up there watching sphinx-like all below him. I must say, whatever he has been doing he hasn’t starved because he is still a porker. Welcome home Pooh.
I sent Cinny a text before starting this, asking if they were working on the water pump because if it wasn’t going to be fixed today I would need to get an hotel room in order to shower and suchlike. She has contacted those in the know and works are indeed being carried out, the message being that they hope to have normal service back sometime today. Good job I had nothing special planned.
1440
Ever get the feeling the entire day is going to be one of those days? Still no water. At least the girls can take their pick of the squat toilets in the teaching blocks but I am buggered - even if I could get down to use one I’d never get back up again! And there’s the problem of feeding the pets. The cats (with the probable exception now of Pooh) won’t touch anything other than meat which has been boiled and I am not about to spend a fortune buying bottled water.
On the bright side, at least we still have electricity and internet,
Monday, 2 February 2015
Monday 2nd February, 2015 1215
I awoke yesterday to find my bike covered in snow. I hadn’t covered it because nowhere had it been even hinted at, let alone forecast. Mulan was aghast that I still wanted to go to town while it was snowing but I assured her it would stop in an hour or two.
It hadn’t settled on the roads but as we walked from the bike towards the bus, it drove off. It wasn’t a problem as it was the one ten minutes before the one I had intended to take and on cue that one hove into view. When it stopped the driver got off and we were going to get on just to get out of the cold but the driver was having a fag break and duly offered me one. I politely declined and lit a cheroot but of course now I had to stay out in the cold keeping him company. Or did I?
He gestured for me to hop on and I held up my lit cigar. He waved me aboard and promptly followed me, cigarette dangling from mouth and then set about sweeping and mopping the deck. Mulan commented that I was “very privileged” to be allowed to smoke on the bus but I pointed out that the only reason was so the driver could smoke as well with impunity.
After our adventures in town I took the dog to office number six. This is a little further afield but they haven’t closed and Pepsi is welcome to come and sit inside. Rather handily, two doors up is a China Mobile shop so I took the opportunity to top up my phone. There is also an e-bike shop next door which I rather wished I had spotted earlier, it would have made sense to buy the new bike from them because any problems and I could be there in five minutes for repairs. We live and learn.
Molly (from rehearsals) informed me that a TV producer/director had been at rehearsals and expressed a desire to film a show for broadcast about my life in the spring festival. Well, it is hardly a case of gung-ho or derring-do during that period, so I suggested they might like to come and film some of it while I am doing my voluntary winter activities with the kids. In particular the visit we are making to Apricot Village, which would also provide excellent scenery. Molly is also suggesting I go to her home and she cooks for me. Given that the producer wants to shoot an entire programme in just half a day I am wondering what we will actually end up doing, if indeed it comes to pass at all.
In the evening I took Mulan back to the pizza restaurant in a bid to get a dining set the same as Kevin’s. No way was I going to have another pizza (although he did say the pepperoni one was quite tasty) and I took a chance by ordering a steak. It was surprisingly tender and didn’t cause me too much trouble, Mulan opted for American style spicy rice which looked nice but which she pronounced very spicy indeed. I never got to pick a ball from the tombola though, instead I was given a 10y discount voucher for next time. I’d rather have had a go at a prize. Before we left her sister arrived and it ended up with Mulan going off to teach and Sarah taking the bus back with me.
My email inbox contained a message from Kevin, who at the time was in the Emirates departure lounge at Hong Kong airport waiting for his flight to the UK. Earlier in the day he had gone for a coffee, being a coffee lover of enormous proportion. He doesn’t like Starbucks but knows an Italian coffee shop there. He had sat down with a rather good example of a latte and a quiche to munch on when, he tells me, it suddenly rained iced coffee.
Apparently a young Korean girl goes to the coffee shop every Sunday and always sits where Kevin was. She was incandescent at having “her” seat occupied, hurled her cappuccino frappe at the wall and it subsequently showered him and several other customers. Kevin wasn’t best pleased as he was wearing a brand new jacket (although it did wipe off). It also stained his shirt and jumper and he had to go to the airport in that state (no time to change) stinking of coffee. The girl fled the café, was pursued by security who detained her and the police duly attended the scene.
Statements were taken but no action will be forthcoming as the girl has mental health issues. All the spattered customers were told by the café owner they could have free coffee for a year there so I assume Kevin will try to find any excuse to visit HK in the coming year!
Well there’s no snow now so I shall take a shower. I couldn’t earlier because the water has only just returned after it went off in the middle of the night. This evening I am taking both sisters either to Love In Town or the pizza place - they are within yards of each other and now I have discounts claimable at both.
I awoke yesterday to find my bike covered in snow. I hadn’t covered it because nowhere had it been even hinted at, let alone forecast. Mulan was aghast that I still wanted to go to town while it was snowing but I assured her it would stop in an hour or two.
It hadn’t settled on the roads but as we walked from the bike towards the bus, it drove off. It wasn’t a problem as it was the one ten minutes before the one I had intended to take and on cue that one hove into view. When it stopped the driver got off and we were going to get on just to get out of the cold but the driver was having a fag break and duly offered me one. I politely declined and lit a cheroot but of course now I had to stay out in the cold keeping him company. Or did I?
He gestured for me to hop on and I held up my lit cigar. He waved me aboard and promptly followed me, cigarette dangling from mouth and then set about sweeping and mopping the deck. Mulan commented that I was “very privileged” to be allowed to smoke on the bus but I pointed out that the only reason was so the driver could smoke as well with impunity.
After our adventures in town I took the dog to office number six. This is a little further afield but they haven’t closed and Pepsi is welcome to come and sit inside. Rather handily, two doors up is a China Mobile shop so I took the opportunity to top up my phone. There is also an e-bike shop next door which I rather wished I had spotted earlier, it would have made sense to buy the new bike from them because any problems and I could be there in five minutes for repairs. We live and learn.
Molly (from rehearsals) informed me that a TV producer/director had been at rehearsals and expressed a desire to film a show for broadcast about my life in the spring festival. Well, it is hardly a case of gung-ho or derring-do during that period, so I suggested they might like to come and film some of it while I am doing my voluntary winter activities with the kids. In particular the visit we are making to Apricot Village, which would also provide excellent scenery. Molly is also suggesting I go to her home and she cooks for me. Given that the producer wants to shoot an entire programme in just half a day I am wondering what we will actually end up doing, if indeed it comes to pass at all.
In the evening I took Mulan back to the pizza restaurant in a bid to get a dining set the same as Kevin’s. No way was I going to have another pizza (although he did say the pepperoni one was quite tasty) and I took a chance by ordering a steak. It was surprisingly tender and didn’t cause me too much trouble, Mulan opted for American style spicy rice which looked nice but which she pronounced very spicy indeed. I never got to pick a ball from the tombola though, instead I was given a 10y discount voucher for next time. I’d rather have had a go at a prize. Before we left her sister arrived and it ended up with Mulan going off to teach and Sarah taking the bus back with me.
My email inbox contained a message from Kevin, who at the time was in the Emirates departure lounge at Hong Kong airport waiting for his flight to the UK. Earlier in the day he had gone for a coffee, being a coffee lover of enormous proportion. He doesn’t like Starbucks but knows an Italian coffee shop there. He had sat down with a rather good example of a latte and a quiche to munch on when, he tells me, it suddenly rained iced coffee.
Apparently a young Korean girl goes to the coffee shop every Sunday and always sits where Kevin was. She was incandescent at having “her” seat occupied, hurled her cappuccino frappe at the wall and it subsequently showered him and several other customers. Kevin wasn’t best pleased as he was wearing a brand new jacket (although it did wipe off). It also stained his shirt and jumper and he had to go to the airport in that state (no time to change) stinking of coffee. The girl fled the café, was pursued by security who detained her and the police duly attended the scene.
Statements were taken but no action will be forthcoming as the girl has mental health issues. All the spattered customers were told by the café owner they could have free coffee for a year there so I assume Kevin will try to find any excuse to visit HK in the coming year!
Well there’s no snow now so I shall take a shower. I couldn’t earlier because the water has only just returned after it went off in the middle of the night. This evening I am taking both sisters either to Love In Town or the pizza place - they are within yards of each other and now I have discounts claimable at both.