Our final day in Shanghai I woke at eleven and was given short shrift when I roused the girls so they could sightsee. They were having none of it. In fact it was mid afternoon before they stirred again so all thoughts of being tourists evaporated. Instead I took them to the City Store to share a sandwich (bit late for a full one and then eat dinner a couple of hours later) and then off to the BB to await Roland.

His suggestion for dinner was pork knuckle night at the Blue Marlin but a different branch to the previous day. The meat was cooked to perfection, melted in the mouth and there was more than ample crackling. I’m not sure anyone actually finished. I was dubious about the mashed potato, in fact I was convinced it was Cadbury’s Smash.

When I had gotten up in the morning I actually managed to get connected online again but by then I had uninstalled the vpn, couldn’t access their website and needed an activation code. If Gmail wasn’t blocked here I would have been fine but thankfully a cry for help from abroad elicited the links I needed.

I had however received a call for a translation job while we were out that needed completing and returning by nine in the morning. As Joan and I would be checking out at ten for our next flight if I was to do it then it had to be before bedtime. They had of course sent it to Gmail so I got it resent to Yahoo, did the work in 20 minutes and then tried to send it. And tried. And tried. Eventually I gave up and sent a text forewarning of failure.

In the morning my phone was besieged by messages. The girl tasked with it was desperate but I still couldn’t get it to work and hadn’t had a response regarding my activation  code by then. In a flash of inspiration I went to reception, borrowed a memory stick, put the file on it and got them to send it for me. Job done and in the nick of time - one relieved and happy girl at the other end.

And then it was time for section two of the travels - up to Shenyang in Liaoning Province, not far from the border with North Korea.  As we were taking off from Pudong it was a case of taking the oh-so-easy Maglev. A short taxi ride there and we bought our tickets, another new experience for Joan coming up. I was extremely lucky when I took it four years ago, for it reached its maximum service speed of 431 kph (268mph) but after that there was a fatal crash elsewhere in China and now all high speed trains are restricted to 300kph, still a good lick but not the same. Joan though seemed happy and took a short video of the speedometer (Concorde-style) inside the carriage. Sure as hell beat taking a cab, and cheaper too. For anyone unfamiliar who is flying in or out of Pudong and using the Maglev, be sure to show your boarding pass or ticket at the ticket office and you will be given a 10y discount.

Once at the airport I was looking forward to some complimentary beers. I had bought two, two hour access passes to a first class lounge with free snacks and “refreshments”.  That’s the first and last time I do THAT! No bloody alcohol! The only good thing about it was that Joan got a breakfast of noodles (as much as she could eat) while I had to go to a restaurant opposite and buy my beer. For what I paid I could have bought her breakfast in that restaurant and had a beer for the same price. Ok, so I did eat a banana, big deal. How the hell can they call it first class when there’s no booze? I live and learn.

This time we flew economy because as the flight was more than an hour and a half they would serve beer, right? This flight was delayed on the tarmac for an hour (snuff does come in handy) and when we were finally airborne the drinks trolley came calling. No alcohol, would I like a Coke? No I bloody well wouldn’t. They asked me five minutes later and it was still “no” but I informed the stewardess that I would not be flying China Southern domestically ever again if all they could offer were drinks for kids and the Temperance Society. Magically a cold can from first class was produced and I was the only one in cattle class who had a decent drink. Annoyingly I have since learnt that had I known I could have bought my own in departures and taken it aboard so I will be doing just that before the next flight.