Monday 21st March, 2016               0340

No chance this will be posted in the next hour!

Despite my decision not to stay up for the England grand slam I did. Ergo, I didn’t see my bed until 0600. No need to get up until one in the afternoon as I had made arrangements to collect Dumpling at three. I flaming well woke up at noon and have been knackered ever since.

At the station I asked Dumpling to book us first class seats to Tongling. I could see the price on the computer (1st is 29.5y and 2nd is 18.5y) and I told her to tell the girl that we wanted 1st class. Sorry but you have to book those in advance. What?? I know this is China but that surely had to be wrong.

It was. Dumpling had no idea there were different classes of seats on Chinese trains! She has probably spent her entire life using standing tickets or hard seats on the slow trains. Incredible. Ok so we went 2nd class, not a problem and saved me 22y but once I explained to her all the different seats available if you have the money she understood,.

We went to Tesco in Tongling, it was purely supposed to be a fishing expedition for anything western and in fairness I did bag a jar of pickled gherkins but otherwise it was Tesco in name only (Dumpling tried one on the way back and declared it similar to her grandmother’s pickled carrots!). Due to the fact that she had ventured out wearing a shirt and jumper and the temperature was hardly warm once riding the bike (I had shirt, jumper and coat) I decided she needed a coat because for the 10 minute ride once we got back it would most certainly be even colder.

Yes I am kind but I did say we needed to choose a cheap one. Eventually she settled on a sleeveless affair that to my untrained and Chinese-illiterate eye cost 60y. As long as it was sub-one hundred I was happy. When we got to the checkout I couldn’t figure out how the total bill was 40y when the gherkins were over twenty. The jacket I bought Dumpling was 14y!!! If only they had them in my size………..

Immediately we went to Papa John’s pizza (after all, that was the purpose of the visit) and the manageress recognised me instantly. How many fat foreigners does she get? I ordered a pizza to take away and Dumpling and I shared a monster 50/50 with my choice of pepperoni against her seafood. Neither of us liked her choice because for some reason there was piped mustard all over it (with hindsight I think it was possibly wassabe) which spoiled it utterly. No matter, I was always going to give her enough for her dormitory mates and guess what? Yes, they got most of her side of the pizza!

We flew first class on the return journey, madness really because I paid 21y extra (50%) for a 20 minute trip but what the hell. The good thing was that Dumpling agreed to be my new cleaner - Susan quit after the holidays and now Alice has gone to Shanghai - so I am very happy. I detest any housework unless it is using the washing machine or doing the dishes. The latter I would cheerfully allow others to do but here they don’t wash them. They rinse them in cold water with no soap. Yuck. I trust Dumpling with a key and if I end up leaving I know she will char for me to the end.

The campus pass for my bike? Anthony confirmed I will need one and replied to my email to say he would help me today. Newsflash - he won’t be. It is now gone 0400 so I will not rise before noon and I have class in the afternoon. I feel no compunction to put myself out to get a pass for a campus where everyone from the street cleaners to security to students to teachers know who I am and what I ride. Certainly introduce it for the students but give the teachers a card for God‘s sake. Maybe some of the teachers stole their cars? They are losing the plot here in trying to implement sensible regimes but in an idiotic fashion.

Ok I said I wouldn’t post but it’s long enough. Now it’s bedtime!