Friday 17th February, 2017                          1530

Today’s the day when my Mother’s earthly remains will be united with my Dad’s.

Part of me wishes I could be there but that possibility disappeared yesterday morning even though I could have mustered enough for flights and hotel. I shall not dwell on it (I will probably do that when the service starts at 2100 my time) and instead I will now do what I often do - go shopping and then cook some cottage pies.

2350

All over now and the mourners who are free are now drinking in my youngest brother’s pub. I suppose I should lie and say that I was completely unmoved but to be truthful at nine when the service started and again at ten when the interment commenced I must confess to a couple of minor wobbles.

Not long before the service started my sister emailed her own eulogy for me to read, full of things she had gleaned from Mum over the years and that I knew nothing about. It was considerably lengthier than my submission for the padre to read and I admit I had concerns she would be able to get through it all but I was informed my other sister would be by her side for support.

First reports before they all get drunk indicate that it went very well, with a slideshow screened throughout. I am told the padre and the undertaker commented that it was the best service they had ever officiated at (although they probably say that to all the girls) but get this - there was a round of applause in church! Not seen that before but I will wager it was for my sister who was desperate to do it right for her Mum.

An old friend of mine did me the honour of burning the Chinese spirit money at the committal, apparently it was hard to get burning at first but when it caught it went like Billy-Ho. That will have been Mum grabbing it as she left!

I shall doubtless get fuller reports tomorrow but my overwhelming feeling right now is that I do so wish I had been there. A ridiculous notion I know, but shortly before the service I did look on the church website to see if they had a live webcam feed! Well they have them everywhere else these days…………..

So that’s it. Nowhere to run to when I am frightened of the dark any more. It feels strange even at my age to suddenly be the oldest in my immediate family even though it comes to us all eventually, well the first-born ones anyway.

So it’s bye bye Mum, no I won’t wear a vest and I WILL go out in the cold with wet hair just as always. Thanks for your wonderful salmon and cucumber pies and cheesecakes in the summers. I lost the recipe for the former (hidden inside a book and I can’t find it!) and I wish it wasn’t your secret recipe because it isn’t on the internet.

Breaking news: The applause was indeed for my sister and deservedly so. She struggled towards the end but having done it myself so would I have. I am proud of her and so would our Mother have been.

As for my words, they seem to have had the desired effect, a combination of laughter and tears. And that’s the end of Book 1 of the Life and Times Of Me. Book 2 starts now.