Wednesday 5th July, 2017               0000

Ok so I am trying to sleep past 0730 in the mornings. Not worked so far but I am sure it will in the end, just when I am needed to get up early again!

As usual, late this afternoon workmen knocked on my door unannounced. Once again I had to drag on a shirt but seeing as they were men I never bothered with the trousers. I had asked Brenda to sort out my lighting and here we had father and son equipped with bulbs for the bathroom, somewhere I sort problems out myself seeing as standing on a chair does the trick.

No chaps, it’s the high one in the study that by moving the bureau and balancing precariously I can do myself. Except it went fizz and bang and a new tube didn’t do the trick. And I reckon one of the two tubes in the bedroom is out because it’s a bit dark in there.

Ohhhhhh…….

Off they went to fetch a set of steps. And the correct tubes.

Once kitted out, the son ascended and on Dad’s instructions swapped my new tube (that I knew worked) with the “old new tube” which was working and which I put in last time and then  tried the switch. Lo and behold, the new one worked now and the “old new one” didn’t. I had forewarned that it was not a tube problem.

Ohh…..

Dad disappeared and left son to put his ladder on my mattress to see to the bedroom light. That’s where it got embarrassing. After sussing out how to remove the shade (easier said than done), what was exposed was a singular circular tube which was working perfectly. The problem was the build up of dust on the inside of the cover, a daily occurrence here! I gave it a sluice in the shower and hey presto! Light in the bedroom again!

The study was more of a problem. No idea what it is called but a square lumpy bit had burnt out, hence the fizz and pop previously. It was also apparently not helped by the light switch which admittedly also fizzed unless given a damned good clout to engage it. Both were replaced but to my horror, simultaneously!

We had Babar (Dad) working on the switch while son worked on the light. At one point (H&S forget it!) dad started turning the switch on and off while son was trying to reconnect wires. Neither of them were in the remotest concerned but I had to shout Whoa! Whoa! - after all, the son could fall on my wine, jing jo or my computer and this being China, if my attempts at CPR failed I could find myself liable.

Eventually though, all my problems were fixed, hopefully at least until everyone starts work again next year.

Earlier I had a panicked email from Molly in Chizhou. Previously she had emailed me bemoaning the fact that another teacher had been chosen to represent Chizhou in a provincial teacher’s competition in English and she had not even been given chance to enter the heats. She was angry.

I duly advised her as to what she should do ( perhaps a month ago)  and then today I received an email consisting mostly of exclamation and question marks interspersed with “help!” and “pressure!” - she is the sole representative of Chizhou in the competition. And now she has got what she wanted she is lost. Don’t worry, I will help her, after all she assisted with the Father Christmas children in hospital 25th December thing, had me make a speech at her wedding and gave me a lift to Chizhou airport when I left on that sad day. I don’t forget friends.

Much later I received a text from Jiuhua School, the little charity school I spent six summers going to. I have no idea why but I loved doing it. They were asking if I had the number of a teacher I have never met. Clearly they are keen to get a westerner on board. Could I help?

I gave them phone numbers which by now may well have been changed but Daniel, Juliette and Andre I apologise. I made the girl swear to say it wasn’t me but it was. I doubt any of you will be in Chizhou at the time anyway but if you can, please help.

I really, really would love to do it one more time but if one of you could carry on for me……

It really was close to my heart. They give you an awful lunch but if they know you like a beer you are plied with it from the start ( that’s down to me!). I simply can’t, it would require four days and hotels in both Hefei and Chizhou not to mention train trips as well as flights.  Given the money I would do it in a flash and I now feel absolutely terrible that they are bereft of someone to give them half a day of their time.