Friday 10^th August, 2018 1030, Moscow

As you may imagine, I didn't get much sleep last night but nonetheless was up at at two showering before my shuttle bus left at three. I could have sworn there were a few other names on the 0300 slot but in the event I was the only passenger.

With ample time (even flying cattle class) I was going to have a final smoke outside in case I couldn't (and I couldn't!) find anywhere to have a pant. At that point something odd happened. “You want luggage wrapping?” a chap asked me. Why would I want my luggage wrapped? “You going to Moscow?” Yes but only in transit. “If you wrap it they not open in Moscow, no wrapping they open.”

Now this wasn't an isolated chap out to make a quick buck, there were half a dozen women and I think four men, all dressed in white tops, black bottoms and with official airport IDs hanging from their necks. I decided to ponder while I smoked that promised cheroot.

Was this a moneymaking scheme sanctioned by PEK? The wrapping consisted of swaddling the suitcases in multiple layers of cling film. Did I really think a bit of clear plastic would deter customs if they wanted a gander? Or just maybe is there a problem with the baggage handlers in Moscow??? I know where I'd lay my money.

Anyway, I have been flying “posh” in China for so long now I had forgotten how utterly soul destroying queueing for check in and security is. Eventually though I boarded, most unhappy as the flight was full and my ticket wouldn't allow online check in so I couldn't get an aisle seat, being one of the last.

My first and hopefully last time with Aeroflot, I have no idea who are writing the reviews praising them but I beg to differ. The stewardesses seem to have been specially selected for their looks – nobody would think of chatting them up and in the case of the one serving my section, whilst not exactly an Olympic weightlifter (she was far bigger than that) , she nonetheless could easily have taken on the six biggest men aboard simultaneously and won.

Now that's very politically incorrect and to be honest as long as I get the service I don't care. The best thing I can say about the food is that at least it was edible. Just. I got a warm beer and a half a paper cup of some execrable Russian red with the first meal and then nothing else until meal two came out. Meal? Two mini spring rolls with no filling at all and a Chinese egg custard tart with seaweed in it. When I asked, “No, alcohol only with the first meal”. That alone decided whether they get my custom ever again and it is a resounding NO.

I am now in SVO, shortly I will go into the Priority Pass lounge I paid for which hopefully has the smoking area someone posted about. I have an awful feeling it may be a lie, however the poster did seem genuine when saying he could find nowhere else to have a puff. The barmaid at the bar I had two very expensive Guinness' stated with authority there was no smoking anywhere and very kindly lent me her lighter with the suggestion I have a sneaky one in the public toilets. I told her I may be some time. Fingers crossed.

1130

Wash my mouth out with soap! Decent sized room called “Smokers Universe”! The cravings will be kept at bay or at least reduced for the final 4 hour flight to Paris. I must though make a point of giving the lady her lighter back before I go, that was an act of kindness I really appreciate.