Friday 21^st December, 2018 2230

It's late I know but I am trying to stay awake to avoid waking in the dark in the morning. Plus I fell asleep at my desk watching the third and final episode of a slave series on the BBC.

I already knew my job here in Lanzhou was a parody, at my age in China I should be retired already but this week it really hit home.

I have just finished the first of two weeks of exams. Now do not misunderstand me, I love finishing before their “real” exams begin, it's a fortnight's extra holiday.

This time I made it so easy for them and so easy on my conscience to pass them all. Gave them a choice of their own passage to read (hardly oral English but I must adapt) and naively thought I would be regaled with passages from Dickens and the like.

It started well on Thursday morning when nobody turned up. When they did the spokesgirl asked what they were supposed to do!!!! Well, three weeks ago I told you to choose a passage and then the next week I reiterated and asked if everyone understood and the class said yes. I keep my hair short, not because of this but it is fortuitous as I couldn't grasp it to tear it out by the roots! That class then rapidly got out their course book and chose random things we'd already done. Despair.

The point of the exercise was to give them three or four weeks notice so they, in the typical Chinese way, could choose their text and practise it. Some did. In fact a lot seem to be regaling me with exactly the same articles they found online. I have been for the past two days either listening to monotonic readings from what they printed off or to my joy, the odd one who committed it to memory. If I hear about mid-autumn festival, Chinese youth being entrepreneurs or some bloody ton in NW Gansu again I will scream!

It is soul-destroying. The odd one with half-decent English stands out but not one so far has achieved eighty. I know I cannot apply the same standards I would for English majors but even by my now far lower standards of passing everyone I have hit a new low. My very last student today was a boy who couldn't even read what he'd written!

I am now seriously doubting whether I am in fact doing anything to improve the students' English on the little campus or whether in fact I am simply treading water, taking the salary and the very generous holidays and working hours and biding my time until retirement.

I'd honestly rather have English majors again. I am wasted right now and they have young Peace Corps volunteers, who I must say are more active but have less empirical knowledge.

Ho hum.

As for our Christmas dinner, it is bad of me to say so but it's the truth, Nordine cannot come because he will have visitors. I am glad because I don't need to make an alternative for him to pork. When you are working with an oven the size of a large microwave it does somewhat limit capabilities!

Instead I have invited Brenda from Foreign Affairs (she pulled out last time because she had a cold) and I think she has accepted. She's not the director but the workhorse looking after we laowei and I know she puts in a good word for me at contract renewal time. It's all about guang xi here in China and needing another three years after next summer, I can use all of it I can get.

I reckon she may well be shocked, pleased, stunned and amazed in equal measure if she makes it. It will definitely be English/western and like nothing she knows, it's Christmas after all. I'm even thinking of playing a prank on her by making everyone bow their heads for grace, I am an agnostic.

Just got an email, she is coming.

It may well be that I shall have the opportunity to post again before Christmas Day but just in case I don't I would like to thank my readers for continuing to do and for continuing to amaze me with the number doing so. These are just the ramblings of a nearly-oap in a land the complete opposite to his own and yet it never ceases to amaze me that people read the stuff I roll out!

So thank you again and wherever you are and whatever you are doing for Christmas day, be it sailing, working as a policemen, doctor, fireman, nurse or anything else we still need or indeed if you are off and just looking forward to the dinner on the day and the family row afterwards – Merry Christmas!