Sunday 5^th April, 2020 2130

So, all the men out there know that if a woman wants to do something or you to do something, she will prevail in the end. The trip I agreed to make today was indeed as she wanted, yesterday. I by then had two classes of homework awaiting marking but abandoned them.

So off we went on our “trip”. Where do you want to go first, Metro or Burger King? Metro.

She wanted to buy breakfasts and by that I mean strawberry turnovers. So all we bought were 8 strawberry, 8 apple turnovers and a madeira cake for me. Then we set off for Burger King.

And that was when the trip turned into a TRIP. Yes, my all too familiar party piece. Was it my own fault? I don't think so but you judge. They have kids things in the middle of the thoroughfare such as little prize machines and a battleground for remote control tanks. Around the perimeter there are electric cars that do about 1mph which parents can hire and let the kids drive.

Anyway, just after the tank battle site there is some sort of machine with toys in it and being electrically powered it needs a supply. But oh no, it's not buried beneath the flooring, it's a cable running across the floor. It is under a metal sleeve that is taped to the floor, except yesterday the leading edge was away from the floor and as I walked over it, instead of merely avoiding it, the front of one of my shoes caught the upraised metal.

I am old, top heavy and front-heavy. It was like something straight out of an old black and white Charlie Chaplin or Keystone Kops film.

Nobody wants to go down, least of all me because getting up again is something best achieved with the help of a 1T SWL crane and so I did my best to remain on my feet.

To me it seemed like a rather ungracious ballet that lasted a full minute. I was fully aware of Jody exclaiming, horrified, Steve! One hand on my upper arm would have saved me but no, it was not to be. The short but mighty oak was felled.

On this occasion no damage was done because I landed straight on my belly so there was no pain other than to my dignity. And this is the measure of the human race (or at least my little segment of it), I was aware my plastic Iced Tea bottle in which I disguise my jing jo had fallen out of my jacket pocket and so before even attempting to rise to my feet I put it back where it belonged! In America I could have probably sued for millions.

Anyway. Finally tonight I cleared the decks. I have tomorrow off! Which would be great except the water went off here at noon so no shower today and it is scheduled to be off from 0800-1800 tomorrow. We have water now but I could pee faster. If they don't improve the flow tonight then I will fester in my own uncleanliness tomorrow. I am damned if I am paying for a hotel. At least I could fill the buckets so we can flush the toilets. If it's yellow let it.....