Wednesday 22^nd July, 2020 1715

Ever had one of those days? I just did. And were this a face to face conversation rest assured it would be peppered with lower deck expletives.

It started with waking up to an email from Delia's assistant Sue, informing me that before 1100hrs tomorrow they needed the student marks in a certain format – formative and accumulative. Formative is taken on class activity, assignments, homework etc, accumulative is the exam score and an aggregate is arrived at.

That probably works for normal subjects but not oral. For starters I never set assignments or homework and in my view the quietest little mouse in the class, if they display great English ability in the exam, should not be penalised for not being vocal – it's my job to try and coax them to do it. And what made me laugh was that we never had any classes this term so how the hell are the teachers apportioning it????

Politely I emailed back to tell her where to go, never done it in 10 years and not about to start now. I also informed her when I started on main campus I asked for access to the computer system so I could input my own results and was told no. So up theirs.

That was annoyance number one. Blow two came a couple of hours later.

An email from the cruise company telling me the ships won't sail again until the week after the one I booked.

I can't delay another week for two reasons (even if Joanna can). One, I have paid up front for discounted hotels and the bookings are non-cancellable. I don't want to forfeit 9,000¥. Two, that would only give me three working days to ensure I had the right paperwork from the local police station and then lodge my application for another year of residency. I certainly wouldn't be able to afford another three nights in Hong Kong in search of a visa to start all over again – nor do I want to.

So Joanna gets to choose how and where we spend the time we would have been cruising serenely up the Yangtze. News literally just in, she wants to go to Chizhou to look up old friends so we shall do that.

So as if I wasn't having a shit enough day as it was, I decided to go to the station to test my health code thing and also have a BK meal. Yesterday the green code was working fine. In the taxi to the station I thought I'd get it ready for entry past security. Nothing worked. Well I don't know how to use the (insert expletive) thing and it was too late to turn back.

The police informed me via phone translators that I had no internet and the station has no wi-fi. I asked if they could fix it but no. Eventually, using my not so dumb phone (I'd happily stamp the life out of that other execrable thing) they got me a one-off green screen. Fifteen minutes until my train. Sod it, I was pissed off but I was going to have a BK meal and go home, forget the train. Then came the final kick in the nether region.

Burger King was locked up! I assume gone out of business. Shit. Ok, second best, a Big Mac meal. McDonald's was locked too!!!!

Five minutes to the train. I could still make it and catch a bus to the big Burger King. Well you know of course all I saw was the back of the guard closing the check-in doors. In disgust I crumpled up my 5¥ ticket and tossed it on the floor then despondently made my way to get a taxi home.

Oh yes they said, get WeChat and Alipay, life is so much easier! Really???? It's absolute excrement, keep your smartphones. Leave me out of it.

And do you know, even if someone fixes the problem (and remember I paid for 10 months with China Unicom not even a month ago and yet they have already cut me off and I have never used calls, texts or anything) and even if it works on another test run like today, I will for the next two weeks worry about missing my train or my flights. I will never, ever have confidence in this crap technology ever again – not that I did in the first place.