Sunday 15^th August, 2021 1115

Ramada Plaza Pudong

On Friday our car came and transported us and our concierge to Kunming airport. I paid to upgrade Alice to business and discovered the lounge was dry. No matter, wouldn't be there long eh?

Time to get this stranded whale aboard, they came and pushed me. The steps on the VIP bus had already started looking high before but now they appeared positively Hitchcockian in their ability to terrify me. After fifteen minutes I was on after many bodies were pushing and heaving, including the first attempt to haul me up by my damaged flipper.

On the long, slow drive the penny started to drop, finally landing with a resounding clang when I was confronted with passenger boarding stairs. I wasn't even going to try. Why wasn't there a hoist? Suddenly it was my fault for not warning them. I did, days ago. And I never even thought I'd be taken to a plane on the tarmac.

Back to the lounge. Now they bandied flights to both Hongqiao and Pudong at six, then five, then finally four. The problem was securing the hoist. I didn't care, they could have slung me on the catering truck with the sandwiches. They were coming for me at three to get me on first. Only problem (for me, not Alice) was there was only one business seat left. They did conjure me up a can of Bud from somewhere though.

They came before three and this time took me to a huge economy bus equipped with a ramp. Plane on the tarmac, hoist, looking not dissimilar to an HMP transport van, in the distance. The cleaners overran resulting in the VIP bus arriving before they had chance to get me up. Ok, do it before economy come.

Nope. They also arrived so they decided to load me at the rear instead. This involved being lifted up, getting on and sitting in a skinny, armless, wheelchair for the push of shame the entire length of the aircraft. This involved attempt two to yank my broken limb.

The wheelchair was half an inch too wide for the aisle of a 737 so I ended up tottering on my own. Once the doors closed I had an empty seat beside me so the obvious thing was to instal Alice in it, after all we had paid business, albeit on an earlier flight. No, we have to go by the boarding card. I was miffed but she didn't care. She just didn't want to travel with me ever again even though I told her it was good practise for when her folks got old.

In the air I was offered an array of drinks but nothing alcoholic. I am having the worst ever day of my travelling career, please tell me you have wine? They did. My miffometer went down.

Roland came and pushed me to the Big Bamboo and we had a few drinks, he had - and finished - the most enormous burger, then back to the room. In all that day there were four efforts to rip my busted appendage from my shoulder.

Alice was going home yesterday but he convinced her to stay, bless him and yesterday his accountant YoYo found somewhere that rents electric wheelchairs, so for 550¥ I can move myself about until I leave next Sunday.

I shall not mention the fact that someone lost my Jab1 paperwork or the aggravation that will cause, not least of all because the less the school know about the state I am in the better.

Tonight we are going downtown to meet Rinka for dinner, at which I hope I can eat something.

I think - and hope - that my perambulatory problems stem from hitting a leg in the fall. My upper right hurts all over so, given time?