Monday morning was a wrench indeed. I got up at five so we could breakfast at six. Our flight to Hefei was 0930. This time I did have pork sausages and suitably fortified went up to the room to finish packing. We had arrived with one bag apiece but due to all the gifts of tins of exotic tea, lucky frog statues and other knickknacks Steve had laden us with, we also ended up with another rucksack and a holdall to cart them all off in!

And then all too soon it was time to say goodbye. The hotel chauffeur drove us competently to the airport where we were turned over by customs on going through to departures. They went through every bag bar the checked luggage (got away with two lighters in there, unlike Chizhou) and idiot here had completely forgotten the liquids ban and stowed a bottle of HP sauce Steve gave me in my bag. You would have thought HP sauce was a major component in Semtex by the reaction but I really didn’t want to forfeit it and asked Joan to explain it was essential for an English breakfast. After pondering for a while the officious chap (who doubtless was enjoying making life difficult for me) mulled over his options. Finally he asked through Joan that I open the bottle and taste some. Well that was indeed a hardship! I dipped my finger in and popped it in my mouth, said , “Mmmmm…….yummy” and then we were through. Phew.

I was shocked and a little annoyed to find the terminal had no designated smoking room - even tiny little Chizhou airport has one - and was tempted to chance it in the toilets but thought better of it considering the way my luck had gone so far there. At least I had my snuff to damp down the cravings.

The 2.5 hour flight with Shenzen Air was uneventful, although when I asked the hostess if she had cold beer she informed me that as it was a breakfast flight (implying presumably a later flight, were there one, might have had and also there was something wrong with me) they didn’t have beer. My response was that being western, there were occasions I drank beer for breakfast, which received a perplexed look. No matter, I had learnt my lesson and had bought four cans in the terminal before we boarded. It was fine apart from the fact we had the very rear seats which are hard up against the bulkhead and can’t recline. It was either those or we sat apart as they only had middle seats available by the time we checked in. No delays and we disembarked bang on schedule.

Ctrip (the Chinese website I use to book hotels and flights) advertised the Holiday Inn as being the only hotel that offered an airport shuttle. I had checked via email and double checked. All we had to do was go to the exit and ask for the bus to the hotel. The girl on the customer service desk spoke not a word of English! Frankly I was tired and having planned everything meticulously I became probably angrier than the situation warranted but I was incredulous that here was a girl who only spoke English, working in customer services in an international airport! I left Joan to do it (although that then caused a rift as she couldn’t understand why I was so angry and in her eyes rude to the girl) and it transpired that there is no hotel shuttle bus. What it is is a shuttle bus between the airport and the city bus station. If you KNOW beforehand then everything is fine but I wasn’t told that.

The hotel is minimum fare by taxi from the station so it was no drama in the end but of course I was on the trip so there had to be something go wrong!

Now I am not saying the bus driver was useless because given the heavy and reckless traffic I thought he was very competent. Not far from the bus station the bus tried to mate with an Audi A8. I couldn’t see everything from my vantage point but I would lay odds it was the car at fault and it had cut in front of the bus. It was more of a kiss than full blown copulation but of course this is a country where following even the most minor of prangs the cars are left blocking a 6 lane highway, causing chaos for other road users until the police arrive to take photographs. Even then, the police leave everything in situ until they have snapped away and finished interviewing a hundred witnesses. One man exited the bus, telling me to get off because I would be waiting a very long time. My thoughts exactly and I considered cabbing the final couple of  miles. Amazingly no sooner had he alighted than we were on our way, presumably because the damage was so slight and with the ex passenger looking on from the pavement as we continued.