New years eve 2015                  1800

And so, as what looking back has turned out to be a rather eventful year for me comes to a close, another year which one way or another is going to be cataclysmic for me will shortly begin.

I suppose I could do that media thing and have a brief look at the year in review but I won’t - the busted foot and pelvis still send shivers up my spine when I stand on the slippery bathroom floor after smacking the non-slip mat on the wall when I have finished. Losing Kevin and Ollivier was also a bigger blow than I could ever have realised and as nice as the replacements are, there is no escaping the fact they are far closer to the students’ age than they are to mine. Nobody could blame them for viewing me as an ancient artifact. Life simply isn’t the same here any more.

Today I completed all the examining of my students. Well, except one. Number 24 in the class, Judy. I asked several of her classmates where she was, thinking perhaps she was on long term absence for sickness or a bereavement but nobody seemed to know. Then of course doubt set in - had she taken her test last week and I had erred in not entering her score? It was possible but I didn’t think so, especially as this particular class took the Mickey and three more than I had stipulated turned up last week. Not a problem, it just meant I had an earlier finish today.

Eventually I got to the last student and asked her about Judy. She didn’t know but said she would try to contact her. She couldn’t, however she spoke to a roommate. Shortly thereafter I received an apologetic text from Judy. She had forgotten she had a test! How the hell do you forget you have an exam? It beggars belief and probably many in my position would simply enter a score of zero for the girl but I have told her to contact me on Saturday and I will test her then at my convenience.

Of course, her oral topic will be - how on earth can you forget you have an exam!

Finishing early meant I never had to cheat on the bus to town for my shopping. When I went on Tuesday I had my suspicions but today they were confirmed. Kevin has gone, Ollivier has gone, in seven months I will leave and now after less than two years McDonald’s has gone!

It should have come as a surprise but it didn’t. KFC bagged the best sites and I would never have opened a McD where it was, there was no passing trade and people were hardly likely to trek from RT Mart given that the Chinese much prefer KFC anyway and there is one of those inside the mall. The Big Macs I can do without but I will miss the occasional McBreakfast. Now if I had the money and trained staff I could open a proper hamburger joint serving real beef burgers and real English breakfast and make a killing here. Hmmmm……

 As my training shoes were nearing the legal limit for tread depth I decided it was time to invest in a new pair and so bought some fur lined ones for the winter. However I can never seem to find a pair that have decent “bounce” to make walking that much more comfortable. They will suffice. I was also scratching around for something to have for my dinner tonight.

Last night Anna came and I made the tuna pasta with mayonnaise and Linghams chilli sauce, bloody lovely. Except Anna didn’t like the tuna! I have never encountered anyone who disliked tinned tuna in my life before! I felt guilty because she said she was really hungry prior to that and I never even had a doughnut to give her as a replacement. Such is life.

I had wracked my brain on the bus in as to what to make, desperately trying to remember ingredients for dishes I could concoct that would also be available in the supermarket. Spare ribs? No, can’t get stuff off the shelf. Glamorgan sausages? Nope, never tried making them and would need the help of Taobao online to get the gear. A nice hearty soup? Maybe. Maybe even minestrone.

In the end I did something I haven’t in all the time I have been here - I bought a pre-cooked spatchcocked chicken. A simple meal of chicken and French bread it will be, I can only pray I chose one that is barbecued rather than one which will blow my skull off. The lady who served me observed my body language antics with great amusement and I think assured me I wouldn’t need the fire brigade for my tongue. I will find out later whether she was to be trusted.

And so in just over five hours it will be 2016 here.

It will be a year I know in advance will see my life undergoing tumultuous change but at least I am forewarned. Where I will wash up I know not but it would be rather fitting were I able to spend the rest of my working life in the place I wanted ideally to start teaching in China. Perhaps positions in Nanning are hotly contested and I stand no chance but I shall try. I am not going to do demonstration classes on Skype video for any school but I may well copy the DVD the students made of my life here and send it on request - that would tell them more about me than any interview ever could.

So as we all go into the unknown (and spend the next month typing in the wrong year on correspondence!) I would like to wish all my readers around the globe a very happy new year and express the wish that everyone finds happiness and enjoys good health. Prosperous is nice but the previous two far outweigh prosperity.