Monday 29th October, 2012       1545

It would seem I was correct about yesterday being a “good” day for this morning I was back to what has lately become the norm rather than the exception. I doubt the fact it is a dismal, rainy day is helping matters either.

Two classes, four lessons today, the first of which was to give a final exam to just over half of my class who graduate in a few weeks. The second were a bunch who start off being silent but gradually become more active as the lesson progresses. We couldn’t go outside so instead I introduced them to Countdown, wagering my usual 100y to any team which can beat me. Worryingly, one team actually tied with me (admittedly we only had time for three rounds) which has never been done. Considering they came up with an eight-letter word I am not sure someone wasn’t using an online computer on their phone to punch in the letters and cheat! I must be more vigilant in the future.

Tuesday 30th        1300

Just a few minutes typing before leaving for my afternoon classes. I saw Hurricane Sandy has claimed HMS Bounty and admit I was very interested to learn more. I also confess that although it does not diminish the fact that it is a tragedy because at least one is dead and an historic vessel (albeit a replica) is lost I also have to say I was relieved it was not “my” Bounty. This one was built for the ‘62 film, “mine” for the ‘78 one starring Anthony Hopkins and Mel Gibson. Why do I care? Because I watched her in various stages of completion in the seventies when she was being built in Whangerei just north of Auckland and then had the good fortune in the eighties to get up close and personal when she was docked during a world cruise in Longbeach, California.

1830

It has been a long day, made longer by the middle class who are three year students. Always the four year students are active and a joy to teach while the three year ones just have no interest and make it bloody hard work for anyone trying to actually teach them rather than simply delivering a monotonic lecture. If you are lucky you might get three out of thirty-odd students who want to learn but the rest just seem completely uncommitted. If I was a useless teacher I would think it was my fault but too many students in the good classes have confided in me that I am the best teacher they have ever had (before anyone comments, they never said it to get higher marks!) for me to doubt myself or my methods. Maybe I should see if I can wangle it so they are all given to Kevin……..

I went all day without taking anything for the knee except the seashells and to be honest I suffered. Tonight I have caved in and taken some diclofenac - sod limping everywhere all the time. When I was in the chemist’s on Saturday she was trying to flog me some medication but I refused seeing as I was spending a fortune on something else but when I go back I think I will see what it was and try that instead.

So tomorrow is our fortnightly treat - which I will enjoy this time by actually eating some of it - and it will be Bolognese with garlic bread. If I have time I will make a couple of lots of bread and also a calzone type thing with butter, garlic and cheese inside it. That should be very nice indeed. Pity I don’t have much Bisto left though. I have invited Happy but I don’t know who the others did. Ollivier mentioned last time that he wanted to bring a boy (no, not gay - married with a child and another due soon) and of course that suggestion was greeted with horror by both Kevin and me! Maybe he will this time though, seeing as he had to disappoint the lad last time. We don’t care really.

2300

Time to watch one episode of New Tricks before bed. Robin is being a bitch and refuses to come in so she will have a chilly old night, I in the meantime amp pain and limp free so in future I may just keep a little pill in my wallet for use if necessary. I think you should be issued with a booklet when you are born entitled “Don’t get old - if you do it’s no fun!”

Saturday 27th October, 2012

Today was expensive. It also opened with the rain that was forecast for Monday. I waited for it to stop at lunchtime before taking Pepsi to the vet. She is turning into a proper little problem child, for although the mange has almost disappeared he prescribed calcium supplements at 50y a tub for her - apparently feeding dogs bones doesn’t give them enough. I left her there to have a shampoo and set (15y) while I went shopping. Oh, and they suggested I worm her again. The two pills only cost 10y but I can’t see she would have worms anyway because she only eats what I feed her and it is always cooked properly. Total bill 130y including more injections, but although I need to take her back again I think there will be no more jabs.

Having sought advice and personal experience from Old Conways, some of a similar age but some much older (the beauty of advancing years is that there are always people you know who suffer from the same conditions) regarding the efficacy of glucosamine in the alleviation of my knee problem, I received conflicting accounts. For some it worked (at least partially) for others it didn’t. Suggestions were also infinitely sensible although me being me some of them will never happen - although the traditional Chinese medicine is a definite avenue which I may well explore for reasons which will become apparent.

The chemist I always use knows which drugs I always buy so I stick with them. Anything out of the ordinary I ask for they simply give me their computer, I type in the English and they translate it online. They didn’t have any glucosamine but asked me to wait while someone went and got some. I take four drugs regularly (excluding diclofenac, of which I still have a decent supply from the UK) and monthly they cost me 48y. Sixty glucosamine pills were - wait for it - 238y!!!!! I nearly died. However, the knee problem is neither a dull ache (as I always envisaged arthritis to be) nor mild pain - it bloody hurts like hell and has me limping like a cripple, so it is not something I wish to put up with. So, sixty tablets at one a day will last for two months, making it 117y a month, right? No way Jose - two twice a day, meaning that was just 15 days supply!! Perseverance with it will represent about 8% of my monthly salary. Understandably I am half hoping it will not be any good for me so that I can try Chinese medicine, I am sure crushed desiccated seahorses and rhino horn would be cheaper. I will continue with it for a month and see if there is any effect. Otherwise this one item is going to cost ten times the cost of all the others combined.

I have just discovered how to boil liver for the family so it doesn’t burn and get stuck to the bottom of the pan - have the water boiling before you put it in instead of  bringing cold to the boil.

Enough for now, I need to be up earlyish in the morning and I still haven’t eaten myself yet.

Sunday 28th       1830

A long day indeed. I left before nine on a cool morning shrouded  in mist and taught the morning class, who were fine. Faced with the prospect of a four hour break I decided that was a game of soldiers I didn’t want to play so came home, put the bike back on charge and rested, even managing to get a little sleep. On the return journey riding out by the lake I passed large groups of students in their uni jackets with the leaders carrying flags on poles - presumably volunteers going somewhere to do some good deeds, although quite where is anyone’s guess because there is not exactly a lot of life by the lake apart from fishermen.

The second class was fine but the third were little shits. I explained to them at the start that a well behaved class did some work and were then rewarded with a game. They have the distinction of being the only class this year not to play one and at the end I drummed it into them that the reason was the half a dozen or so naughty boys. It will be interesting to see if I get them again whether they improve.

When I finished I was starving so went for an early dinner, having to wait for half an hour until the sweet pork appeared then I shopped for Bolognese ingredients for Wednesday. I could cheerfully go to bed right now but of course that would see me up in the small hours. But blimey, my knee is 85% better today! I don’t for one moment believe the glucosamine has worked that rapidly, although if it did then I reckon prolonged use should see me able to just takes one a day instead of four, which would bring the cost down to a sensible level. I will take the full dose until this bottle runs out and see what happens before deciding on what to do next.

I know we don’t celebrate Christmas here but in the past we have gone to Old Cologne with some students for a roast turkey. I have not enjoyed it, so I mentioned to Kevin that I didn’t really want to do it this year for that reason plus it is too expensive and the food has gone downhill. He is all for us (us meaning me!) making our own Xmas dinner - but what? I have never seen a turkey in this city, the chickens are all scrawny, there is no such thing as a joint of meat and how the hell do you cook a roast for six in two mini ovens successfully? I will have to trawl through recipe websites for ideas.

Wednesday 24th October, 2012        1715

Unbelievably, now the temperature has dropped to 21C I regard it as cold! I am really dreading the winter now and can see me sitting at home with all my heaters going and still having to wear a sweater. I hope it’s a bit warmer tomorrow because I do need to take Pepsi for her jabs and also to buy pet food.

My two classes today were good and it is safe to say Wednesday is going to be my best day this semester - apart from Thursdays which I have off of course. They put a lot of effort into the bank robbery sketches that one class overran by five minutes, which no doubt went unnoticed, unlike the other day and a minute early. I arranged to see Happy again after I finished this afternoon and rather than work on past papers she just wanted to talk. Surmising there may be something else going on, my suspicions were confirmed after half an hour of idle chat her problems started emerging. Fine by me, Chinese students will very often confide in us westerners when they wouldn’t dream of discussing such matters with Chinese teachers.

Yet again I find myself tired, so although I will go out soon to shop with the dogs (well actually Pepsi will just hide under e-bikes for the duration) I will eat a hotpot for my dinner, come home early and I think I will cave in and drag out my quilt again. Last night I just wasn’t quite warm enough under the quilt cover and it will be colder too. And raining. Robin might even come home again, she did last night.

Thursday 25th     1500

I never went to town after all. I still have knee problems and it was far too cold, both for me unless I put on plenty of clothes and for Pepsi, who doesn’t have much fur seeing as it is still growing back after the mange.

Friday 26th    1045

Well I’m certainly not blogging much lately! Last night when I came home I met my neighbour from 304 just outside. I had just baked a loaf of bread and knowing most of it would end up going to the birds, I asked her if she would like some. She would, and also asked her to teach her how to make it! I laughed and told her that for 400y she could buy a machine like mine. She came and I cut half the loaf for her to take away, but moments later she returned with a gift of a bottle of baijiu. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I couldn’t stand the stuff. There was good news for Kevin though, she told me soon they will be moving to a place downtown. I actually like her a lot and often chat (indeed she said she would invite me to dinner one day although that could mean nothing) but her husband never smiles and although their kid is fine they allow him to scream and shout in the alleyway. I don’t know how they have managed because they have a grandfather living with them as well in a one-bed roomed place!

I have a long break today from 1000-1330 so soon I will take a nap - why is it always when you HAVE to get up that you want to sleep longer?? I have a class later followed by the language society’s inaugural (for this intake) bash. Kevin and I will attend as I hope will Ollivier. This time there is no native Korean teacher here so it will at least be two nationalities instead of the usual one up on the top steps. And why do they always pick on me to make the big speech??! I have a sneaky feeling perhaps they asked Kevin first because the president is one of his students, and he neatly suggested that I would be a much better choice………

2245

The nap was a mistake, I felt five times worse when I woke up, having simply dozed rather than slept. Still, I knew I only had to teach my class and then attend the event from half past three to half past five. Or did I? Oh no, at the last minute they changed the time to five until seven! Great, not only did it mean a later finish but also it starts to get dark before six now. Worse, Kevin could only have stayed until five so now he wasn’t going to be there at all. Olivier and I did our duty, as I believe did the Chinese Japanese teacher although if I am correct she disappeared after thirty minutes. Yes, fine, speaking to and winding up two hundred Chinese students is grist to the mill for me but tonight was an unmitigated disaster!

I cannot in all fairness call the organisers incompetent because I confess it never occurred to me either that from five thirty until six thirty the school radio broadcasts through outside speakers, two of which are located twenty feet above where we were. For an hour they futilely carried on but nobody could hear what was happening on stage. Personally, I would have abandoned the entire thing but they wouldn’t out of fear of losing face or whatever. From a planned two hours we had half an hour at the start and again at the end where people could hear but by the time the station ceased broadcasting the audience which had been two hundred strong at the beginning had diminished to about fifty. It was a shame really because last years was a debacle because they were too ambitious, this year it was because of something which couldn’t be stopped and wasn‘t foreseen. If only they had scheduled it for Saturday or Sunday morning  it would probably have been a success. Ho hum.

Monday 22nd October, 2012        1240

The muzzle was unfortunately a waste of 20y. The “collar” was just big enough at maximum extension but even making the snout cover the biggest possible Robin would not have been able to drink so I have had to shelve that idea.

It rained all night and although it stopped just before I left for class it is still a gloomy, dismal day. Had it been fine I would have taken Pepsi in for more injections but now it will have to wait until Wednesday or Thursday. Instead  I will meet Happy a little later to go through some exam preparations. That will of course go unnoticed by the school, sadly the fact that I just let my last class leave one minute early did not escape attention. I suppose I should have known better seeing as Prof Fang was teaching next door, for she came out and made a point of telling me the bell hadn’t gone yet. I was so surprised at this that I wasn’t quick enough to point out that on a great many occasions when we have activities I often overrun by five minutes. Maybe swings and roundabouts are not a concept here but anyway it won’t happen again with this class because today was the last lesson. Over the next fortnight I am giving them their final exams before graduation.

1800

I gave Happy nearly two hours of my time this afternoon, with more to follow. We worked our way through certain sections of past papers that I can possibly help with - there are some such as listening that you simply can’t teach - and to be honest it is hard! Ok so it’s multiple guess (any one from four) but with most questions - they have to pick the best answer - there were two or even three of the possible answers which could be used. As a native speaker I must confess that I would not have scored 100% as I could have been forgiven for expecting to. No wonder these kids fail when the answers are a bit ambiguous.

2300

Winding down for today but just before I go, Kevin sent me a link just now. There has been a murder here in the city. A female’s remains were washed into the local river by the recent rain. So far they have recovered 67 chunks of the lady, age unknown. My opinion is that there will be a cursory investigation which will come to nought and we will never hear any more about it. With that many pieces - and the report never specified what percentage of the corpse it represents - someone went to great lengths to conceal the murder. In a developed country those lengths would seem pitiful and lead to an arrest, but here?

Tuesday 23rd     1245

A damned good start to the day! I woke up to arthritis in my left knee so limped in and showered. When I emerged naked but for a pair of rubber sandals I trod on Pooh. In his haste and panic to extricate one of his hind legs from under 100kgs of prime pork he succeeded in so doing by using my second toe on the right foot as a purchase point, slashing the flesh as if with a scalpel. Today I am hobbling around with two defective sets of undercarriage.

2030

Six lessons with gammy legs is not to be recommended. It was a shame really because today was fine and sunny but not too warm and would have been ideal for taking the classes outside. I didn’t fancy wandering around on grass though for two and a half hours so instead we still did the activities but in the classroom. They all seemed to enjoy this week’s, which was to stage an armed bank robbery. One group even provided the humorous scenario of the robber answering his mobile phone to his daughter whilst holding a hostage and with the police pointing guns at him.

Although I can’t really be bothered cooking, tonight is sardines on toast - purely to use up some of the bread. Because the smallest loaf my machine makes is a pound and a half (the biggest is nearly double that) I usually end up chucking half of it away. And the diclofenac is making my knee tolerable plus the good news for me is the hotpots are back, so I at least have something I like being cooked on campus.

Friday 19th October, 2012       1630

Now that was a tiring day. I actually went to bed before midnight for once and set my alarm for six-thirty. The problem was, I woke up at four and try as I might I couldn’t drop back off again. It’s damned annoying when you have six lessons and you were very tired when you went to bed, and of course I am taking the freshmen out for their second lessons so that involves a lot of standing and walking about so the knees are creaking a bit this afternoon.

I also have three lessons in town tomorrow starting at 0920 but not finishing until 1540. A bit of a pain, but as I intend to have lunch and do some shopping I will fill the break. I was a whisker off telling them that as I wasn’t notified by Thursday night as I asked for that I had now made other plans but I will go in. I will certainly have words and point out that the next time this happens the reply will definitely negative.

Sunday 21st      1145

A rude awakening yesterday well before I needed to be up ensured my feeling like death all day. If I could identify which cat sank its claw into the soft under-pad of my left middle toe I would string it up.

Mercifully, the two morning classes of kids were behaved, although how I am supposed to spend forty minutes running through six types of fruit heaven only knows. Needless to say my picture team game was used extensively. “Lunch” break turned out to be four hours, fine normally but bear in mind all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep somewhere. Two hours is bad enough, but four is just silly, however I did my best. Ke Bi Wang for lunch first to say hello to JinJun and Khaleja and as I ordered my plate of sweet pork I scanned for ideas for a second dish. My eyes lit upon a tray of fatty pork pieces accompanied by big potato chunks in what looked like it could be a really tasty glaze.

When I managed to find a table (amazingly at 1115 it was very busy) I sat down, opened a bottle and savoured the anticipation of beautifully soft but intensely satisfying potato chunks. I should have known better - it was winter melon.  The only way you get spuds here is stupid little French fries, thin matchsticks that are cooked so little they are still crunchy or as thin slices to put in a hotpot which once cooked are impossible to retrieve from the liquid. To be fair, the dish was in fact quite tasty, but disappointment damages your taste buds!

Now the only free table I had been able to find was a large round one which seats six. The place as I said was busy and on many occasions someone walking forlornly with a tray of food either alone or with a partner would come searching for somewhere to sit. I was beginning to think that perhaps I had unknowingly broken wind because there I was with five spare spaces yet loads of people eschewed it and continued in their quest. Feeling a little (unnecessarily) guilty at being the singleton at the joint biggest table I then took to gesturing to people that they were welcome to sit at my table. Nothing doing. I had almost got to the point of sniffing my own armpits to check, when a solo man finally plonked himself down, to be followed shortly by another chap, but by this time I had long finished eating and was simply drinking and having a cigar.

Afterwards I went shopping and collected the balance of my smokes, then went to another restaurant to have a leisurely lager and wrestle with my crossword book. By now I was so sleepy every now and again I had to get up and go and stand outside. The wait until three was interminable.

But it duly came and buoyed by the knowledge that after forty minutes I would be free to hop on my bike and go home I entered the classroom. My heart sank when I realised this class was naughty. Actually, on this occasion the vast majority of naughtiness came from one boy. There is no malice in him I think, but he is extremely disruptive and he started early. First off I caught him with a comic concealed in his text book and so confiscated it for the duration. Then I had to send him to stand in the corner for incessantly shouting “laowei” at me. Unbelievably I was also given the same lesson I had already taught twice that day, so a game was absolutely essential. I let bad breeches sit back down so as to take part.

No sooner had I chalked up team A versus B on the board than he started again! Tired and irritable as I was it would have been an easy feat to throw the boy out of the classroom window. We are on the sixth floor. What I actually did was to pick up the blackboard duster and very deliberately look at the boy before rubbing out the start of the game and instead started running through all the fruits again with them. There is nothing quite like peer pressure, because 22 others knew without a shadow of a doubt that he alone was to blame for not having a game. He stopped his antics and eventually I relented and told the class we would have a game provided they behaved. The way they made him the focus of their attention (and accusatory pointed fingers!) was wonderful and the rest of the lesson passed enjoyably.

Annoyingly, about ten minutes from the end my phone rang. I cut the call off without answering and a few minutes later a text came in. When I finished I left and, thinking it had been Kiki calling I duly called her. It hadn’t been her, I had misread her name when it was Kid - in small print on the screen the two look similar and indeed once I mistakenly invited the boy instead of her for dinner. The text was from Kevin, asking me where I was so I replied to it. It emerged that the call made at three-thirty was to invite me to a graduation party for Kid’s class. I then got told Kevin was taking some of them in his car downtown at four-thirty so they were effectively giving me just one hour’s notice. Couple that with the fact I wouldn’t get home until quarter past four, the bike wouldn’t have enough juice for another return trip to town meaning a bus trip (no thanks) and - more importantly - I have never taught that class, and you may realise why I declined the invitation. I am not sure I would have felt right anyway having never had them as students. As it stands, I had assumed that Daisy’s class wouldn’t invite me to their dinner seeing as Kevin taught them for two years and I had them for only one term, however last night four boys (who I think are from that class!) came and invited me for sometime next month. I said I would be delighted to go and told them about this afternoon which they seemed to have already heard about. At least they are quite clear that I need at least a couple of days notice!

Summer is certainly over now. The days are fluctuating between pleasantly warm and cooler and needing a light sweater but the nights are chilly. Soon I will have to dust off the little heater I put in the bathroom in winter and dig out my gloves for riding the bike.

2015

Time to wrap this one up I think. I have been out with the mutts already and came home early because I want to cook for myself tonight. I have a tenderloin steak that was in my freezer for about a year which is awaiting grilling and once I have boiled the pigs trotters I can get my potatoes boiling. I will have it with fried eggs and would have liked some vegetables with it but of course with only one hotplate something would go cold before another was cooked. But hell, I will enjoy the spuds after yesterday’s let-down!

And for the first time in a few days - probably because she knows it will rain tonight - Robin is here. Later I will test the muzzle. Oh, and here are a couple of photos I pinched from the uni website showing our battle-ready freshmen who were simply taught songs and how to march!

Tuesday 16th October, 2012       2200

Talk about the best laid plans. The forecast said (yes, I know better than to believe them) a slight possibility of a few spits of rain today but substantial amounts tomorrow. Needless to say the rain arrived today and none is now forecast for tomorrow. The result was that I never took Pepsi to the vet - I didn’t want her getting drenched, because even if I wore the cape she would have - but I simply had to go downtown not only to shop for tomorrows food but also some cigars or I would have run out by now. More by luck than judgement I escaped in between downpours and experienced some spits but never had to break out the cape. I do though now have the makings for potential meat feast pizzas provided the weird sausage things I bought aren’t revolting. My entire day tomorrow is going to be spent bloody cooking and I am regretting saying I would do chicken wings on top!

I took Happy out for dinner tonight. She is the one pleading for help after failing two exams. She’s a lovely girl, so I have agreed to tutor her (gratis) when I have spare time, the first time being Monday after lunch when I hope to find a vacant classroom that’s not on the fourth floor.

I did get a bit of bad news from Cinny (my new assistant) when she informed me that the military training will end on Thursday, meaning I have six classes on Friday. I had rather hoped it would be another day off, but no such luck.

The plus side of the rain though is that Robin came straight home tonight, obviously she didn’t relish the prospect of spending a wet, cold and miserable night.

Thursday 18th     1700

Well that was some day yesterday and I won’t be repeating it in a hurry. For the best part of seven hours I was faffing about either cooking or preparing food. In fact the easiest bit was cooking the chicken wings. However, at seven, six people sat down to dinner. We had the three members of the foreign contingent together with Kiki and two of Kevin’s students, Sonya and  Doris. I was immensely pleased to observe the wings being consumed with relish but angry with myself for having cooked the pizzas with the bacofoil shiny side down, resulting in their getting stuck to the foil. I will remember next time and everyone really put their food away. Except yours truly. It was one of those occasions where someone has spent so long cooking that their appetite deserts them. I never ate a morsel. So in 48 hours I haven’t eaten so much as a crisp, but on the plus side, all I have to do tonight is finish cooking my pizza and have that for dinner.

Olivier (yes, correct spelling and the double L apparently got him bullied in school) is a terrible influence. He has found some relatively cheap wine which actually tastes very nice so yet again six bottles were emptied, followed by most of my bottle of port. We never finished until after two and I forgot to reclaim my chairs. The result was that this morning the drawers I block off with one of them had been ransacked and a ball of string had been unravelled all around the flat and because I forgot to wedge my unlockable  cabinet I awoke to find spice jars all over the floor and all my Bisto granules spilt. Not the best start to the morning.

I took Pepsi to the vet this afternoon for more injections, her skin has all but cleared up but I will persevere to make sure. Whilst there I looked at muzzles. There was a perfect one but when I asked if it would allow her to drink I was told it wouldn’t, so had to rule that out. Instead I bought a different type but it lets her drink and eat, meaning the returning home problem is still going to be there. I can see me having to splurge on the “Old Sparky” type collar after all. Next mission is to actually get the muzzle on her.

Sunday 14th October, 2012          2130

Well nothing official has been said about Robin either today or yesterday, and of course with popular belief being that I actually own every wild dog on campus it is not outwith the bounds of possibility that Robin is not guilty. What she is guilty of though is barking all night and causing a stupid woman to crash her motorbike.

As a result I have been searching the Chinese internet sites for muzzles and anti barking collars. After a long time I found both, although at around 500y for a collar that delivers electric shocks to the barker, it gave pause for thought! So, as I am taking Pepsi to the vet on Tuesday, I will see if he sells muzzles. The con of this is of course that wearing one she will be unable to defend herself against other dogs but having said that, it is normally her that instigates it these days and anyway, she has brought this on herself (and me) with her behaviour. The pros are that not only will she be unable to bite anyone but hopefully not eat scraps on the ground, which maybe would ensure she had to come home at night because she would be famished. The thing that worries me is whether a dog can still drink when muzzled, so I shall need to do some more research on the subject.

I have done absolutely nothing of note all day and it has been great. I am looking forward to an easy week with just two lessons tomorrow, a trip to town Tuesday and some serious cooking Wednesday.

Monday 15th  1515

Still nothing mentioned officially about a dog bite. I am reasonably sure a dog did bite a student because a couple of pupils have mentioned it to me, although nobody is accusing Robin straight out. It matters not, the muzzle is a good idea and also a perfect rebuff should ever an accusation be levelled in the future - not to mention that it may cure the night barking problem and save me a packet on a special collar.

Today’s class was the usual unresponsive bunch - with three exceptions - but some were determined to carry on their own conversations while I was speaking. Nothing is guaranteed more to annoy me in a classroom, so I exacted revenge on the worst culprit. Our topic was job interviews, so I appointed a panel of three bosses and three interviewees. The main offender was picked as one of the latter and was also told why she had been picked. These kids will be examined by me for the last time in a fortnight so you would have thought they would try to maximise their chances, but no.

2245

I had a rather fruitless attempt at a siesta this afternoon, sometimes I wonder why I bother. Robin is again refusing to come home tonight, although she did make it as far as the door before deciding against. Her loss - the others will relish the liver I am cooking for them. Pepsi is off to the quack tomorrow and I don’t know what the blue gunk was he stained her with last week, but it is absolutely marvellous. Where she had mange really badly on her muzzle and under her chin it has virtually cleared up in just a few days. I will dump her with the vet while I pop out to (hopefully) get my months supply of cigars and the shopping necessary for western Wednesday. A trifle ambitious what with chicken wings and six pizzas and limited facilities but hopefully it will be alright on the night. Regardless, I will not be setting an alarm for the morning, I can go to town whenever I please although with a chance of rain in the afternoon I will be better off leaving by eleven.

Earlier tonight Happy sent me a text asking what she should do because she failed both her TEM and CET exams. As it’s a bit late in the day to be asking me that, I replied that she shouldn’t have wasted the last two years at school and paid attention to what I told all my classes at the very start. Needless to say I have told her to buy some past papers and will spend some time with her when I am free in the evenings, for what it’s worth. Her problem as I see it is the fact she has a boyfriend and has spent more time with him than on her studies. I will bet money that the boyfriend will pass HIS exams in whatever he’s studying, so who is the fool? The annoying thing is, she’s a lovely girl and only now is she realising that you reap what you sow - or don’t in this case.

Anyway, enough for now, I need to feed myself as well as the furry ones.

Thursday 11th October, 2012          2200

Well, well, well - seems as if Kevin has started something. There will now be a run-off between the top three contestants (I think from the non-English majors because there was no doubt the top two English majors deserved to go to the finals, albeit in different places) at another competition to decide which two should really have won. Something stinks here and it is now making me think of the implications of my refusing to judge or participate in future ones unless there is transparency.

I took Pepsi to the doctor this afternoon and paid another 60y for three injections and some liquid the vet applied. She now looks like a punk as she has bright blue streaks all over. I must take her back for more jabs next Tuesday, and I suspect twice more at five day intervals after that. As long as it works that’s fine. Pity there isn’t a drug that could make Robin come home at night - she stayed out last night and seemingly is doing so again tonight. The only “good” thing is that lately she has been barking all night outside the student dormitory blocks instead of ours. Apparently some are moaning but the Chinese never care about disturbing my sleep when they have conversations at full volume outside my door so I fail to see why I should feel guilty.

I intended to go to town shopping tomorrow but instead I may just take it easy. Today I had a call and the kids’ school have two lessons for me on Saturday morning (the break was great!) so I will probably combine the two along with some lunch.

Friday 12th        2200

Not a good evening at all. Daisy wants to change her speech - yes, the top three from English and non-English majors will be having a re-run in a fortnight, hopefully judged and scored by Prof Fang, to sort out who SHOULD go to the finals. With her being Kevin’s good friend, naturally he has given her great help but he himself will admit he is not exactly terrific at making speeches. Teaching a class, yes, standing on stage and entertaining - no! So he suggested she come to me for ideas. Fine by me because it gave me an excuse to combine it with dinner and sweet pork and we have fine tuned it a bit, plus I delivered her speech to her to give her an idea of where to pause, place emphasis on certain words etc.

Unfortunately though, when we were riding to the restaurant with Pepsi aboard and Robin racing along on paws, she chased a moped being ridden by a woman. Robin did her usual thing and decided to attack the bike. The woman panicked and I watched in horror as she completely forgot she was in control of a moving vehicle and rode straight at the kerb and into a lamppost. I stopped of course and mercifully both the lady and the bike were unharmed although not unnaturally she was not best pleased. This, coupled with her recent habit of staying out and barking all night, gave me cause for concern because everyone knows what happened when the Korean bitch complained about being afraid of three month old puppies.

However, worse was to come. Back on campus when I was sitting having a beer a Chinese teacher came and after translation I learned that probably a complaint has been made about the barking. That’s bad enough, but solvable by driving her miles away and letting her go feral away from here, but even worse was to come.

Yesterday a student from the PE department was bitten badly on the calf and needed hospital treatment. I am now awaiting confirmation as to whether it was Robin or not. If it was her then she will be departing this world very shortly - as much as I won’t want to do it I will not give her a second chance to bite anyone else. You may imagine I am not in the best of moods as I type this.

Monday 8th October, 2012         2200

Just one class for a double lesson this morning - slightly different to tomorrow’s three classes/six lessons. As yet though the military training commencing on Wednesday is still on schedule so I am looking forward to some relaxation for 12 days come five o’clock tomorrow.

Pepsi seems to be improving with the exception of her lower left jaw, which she must have scratched like blazes as this morning it looked as if she had cut herself shaving. I slapped a load of ointment on it and will continue to do so - at least until Thursday when she is going for another jab at the vets. Robin yet again does not want to come home (except during the day for a nap) and last night a Chinese teacher asked me if I had “forbidden” her to come to my home. No!!!! That’s how rumours start and probably despite my putting the record straight it is now a “fact” all over campus.

I tried to have a siesta this afternoon but just as I was dropping off there was a knock at my door. I ignored it expecting a repeat and it to be Kevin but once the cats had stopped growling and Pepsi had stopped yapping I tried to nod off again in vain. When I asked Kevin tonight if it was him he told me it wasn’t and that some strange Chinese chap had also woken him up. He guessed that he had lost his child and was searching for it. What the hell would I want a foreign tot in my room for? I already have a puppy that shits and pees in here without compounding it with human excretia!

Anyway, I am dog tired tonight, two lovely and meaty bones are cooking for Pepsi (pity Robin chose to eat scraps overnight) and then I have some skewers to reheat for myself. Definitely a night to be asleep before midnight.

Tuesday 9th        1230

Lunch break with one class down and two to go. It is such a lovely day today that despite the size of my next class - forty - I may well split them into groups and take them outside. Regardless, I am sure that by the time five o’clock arrives I will be heartily glad. Tomorrow all I have to do is attend the speaking competition. As I have explained before, only Chinese teachers get to judge the contestants, native Englishmen aren’t qualified to tell which are the best speakers, however we are tasked to ask one question each of the speakers. At least this year we have managed to convince the powers to let us have copies of the speeches in advance so we aren’t frantically trying to think the questions up in advance, however I have a strong suspicion I have been given the originals and nobody else bar the competitors have copies!

Wednesday 10th       2245

Well we had our speaking competition. Kevin left “disappointed”, I on the other hand left utterly disgusted. Four students go through to the provincial finals to compete for a chance to represent their province at the national finals in Beijing - two from English majors and two from non-English majors. The non-English winner was absolutely dire and during the question times for both Kevin and I - where they are supposed to speak for between one and two minutes - the “winner” waffled on so much that Kevin felt compelled to cut her short. I asked a simple question and still the contestant waffled interminably. I tried to catch their eye to give a silent “time out” signal to no avail, resulting in Prof Fang doing it instead. Yet they won. The winner of the English majors was good, so good in fact that they deserved to come second and still go to the provincial finals. But never in a million years nearly a full four points clear of the person who stood head and shoulders above every other contestant in the room. That one came second.

Kevin has lodged a complaint (and I stand with him) and there will be an investigation. Nothing will happen of course because doubtless when the judges’ voting slips are asked for they will have been disposed of conveniently. This happened at the last contest (same two contestants) when three of five judges (Kevin and I were for once asked to score) scored one higher than the other yet two other judges apparently differed so widely with us that it ended up with an identical result to today. The people collating the scores and averages just happen to be students. Make of that what you will but I am becoming increasingly of the opinion that the students charged with the task are blatantly falsifying the scores the judges give to skew the result. I simply can’t believe that teachers here are doing it because it is in the university’s best interests to send the likeliest candidates through as our ambassadors. Ok, so number two who should have been number one will still go and in case anyone is wondering if I have a special attachment to either of them the answer is a resounding “no”. They have both been taught by me and Kevin, and although he might, despite attempts not to, be tempted towards bias I most certainly have no such conflict.

Later I sent a message to the number two, who was thinking of refusing to go to the provincial final in protest (and I understand completely the emotion) that they should go even if only to prove the point that in front of people judging who are completely independent they ARE the best this school has to offer. I firmly believe number two has the potential to even make it to Beijing if they work at it.

My suggestion alongside Kevin’s protests will be that if they must have students collating then the score sheets should be then referred for scrutiny - hell, I don’t need a calculator to add up five marks and then divide by five to get an average in seconds so I would be happy to do it. What I am not happy about is being part of a sham like today again if the format remains the same.

Rant over, but assuredly today is not the end of this little episode.

Sunday 7th October, 2012         1615

Bugger Abu Hamza and his complaints of sleep deprivation in prison - what about me?? With it being a Sunday I stayed up until the wee hours knowing I could have a lie in because once again Robin refused to come in.

At 0800 I was rudely awoken by someone with a whacking great big masonry drill boring holes right by my door! I was not amused, mainly because I thought they had finished doing all that yesterday - I think 302 has bought aircon or something similar, needs a new electricity feed and this was to run a conduit. It’s bad enough on a Sunday but at that time it just plain narks me.

However, as planned, I am having a lazy day. All I have done so far is pressed one pair of trousers ready for the morning and the washing up (from Wednesday night!) is soaking awaiting the scourer. I did pop out to the shops, met Kiki and got her to translate the labels on Pepsi’s medicines though. The cream is easy enough, rub it in once a day, but the “pills” appear to be mini cod liver oil capsules for a healthy coat. Two twice a day - probably it will end up as four once a day. The “shampoo” stuff? They have got to be kidding! I am supposed to make up a bath (in what, I ask??) and keep her immersed in it for fifteen minutes every five days! That is just plain impossible so what she will get is a bit of a soaking and that’s all. Whoever invents these medicines must be under the impression that Joe Public dog owners also have a fully staffed and equipped veterinary hospital.

While I was out enjoying an ale in the sun some female students arrived, obviously just back from their holidays as they were toting heavy luggage. One of their number also had a Taobao package. They stopped at a table, bought some noodles and the girl with the box tried to open it with her fingernails. The one thing they do in China with parcels is make sure you either need to be Clark Kent or carry a knife to get into them. I carry a small blade in my pocket - they cost half a yuan and are meant for sharpening pencils - so I gave it to her to use. Her delivery was a box of moon cakes and unnecessarily, for my good deed she gave me a cake and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Very sweet, and after she left I noticed that it may actually have a pear filling - if so I will really enjoy it.

2130

Looks like another night Robin won’t sleep here, I am rapidly giving up on her. I asked earlier about the military training and have been informed that it is scheduled to start on Wednesday which will mean it will last until a fortnight today. Great for me as it will be another holiday as near as makes no difference, but I still see no army presence. I am not convinced and will wait until midweek to see.

I am hoping I was right about this week being my easier workload because if the training goes ahead then not only do I only have one class tomorrow but the week “off” will be my “busy” week - every little helps as Tesco say.

I am fatigued tonight which is handy seeing as I have to get up at eight but I am about to cook my Sunday dinner. A far cry from roast chicken or beef with all the trimmings but it will be enjoyed every bit as much - bacon, fried eggs and mash with real HP sauce! Bloody crazy when foods which used to be a quick dinner solution once suddenly become a gourmet treat eh?

Friday 5th October, 2012                2000

What a thoroughly miserable, misbegotten wretch of a day! Rain from when I woke and still raining now. Needless to say, neither Pepsi nor I went to town but as tomorrow is forecast bright and warm  the bike is on charge tonight.

Kevin has gone to Nanjing (previously Nanking of Japanese atrocity fame) for the weekend and Patrick the Belgian was still in town and indeed on campus this afternoon - still looking like a tramp as well. He liberated his June salary from his account but after travelling all night found his flight expenses hadn’t been lodged. I have a good idea why not, because anything other than the standard salary always needs a signature and he never had the sense to check first and have it all arranged in good time. Notwithstanding, you all know I feel the way he was treated at the end of his tenure here was abominable and I can see no valid reason why they cannot now release his expenses without a signature and pay it into his new bank account. I am not aware of any country where a court of law will not take evidence from a bank detailing deposits as being fact, so I (and I am sure Kevin) will try to assist him to save him having to travel fruitlessly in the next holiday for two days just to get what he is entitled to. Personally, in the same situation in June I would have taken food, beer and cigars and camped outside the FAO’s office, refusing to leave until I had the money. There is trust, but when you are forced to leave the country before a contract expires because they won’t extend your permit for a month then that dissolves.

Saturday 6th            2200

I took Pepsi to the vet just after lunch. Three injections, a takeaway of pills, cream and wash cost 210y and I have to take her back later this week for another jab. From the piece of paper I had on me which a student translated it appears I may have to take her for another four injections although until I get a student to translate the labels on the other stuff I haven’t a clue what to do except rub the cream in. Sodding animals, cost me a fortune but I simply can’t see them ill and not do anything about it. Oh, and apparently I am not supposed to feed her salty or sugary food, beef, fish or chicken. You would think by now the vet would know not only do I not feed them sugar or salt but with four others it is impossible to place one of them on a diet.

Anyway, at least I was rewarded with a “first” - today, accompanied by much coaxing and praise, she finally came up the stairs without being carried. Going down again is going to take a little longer but at least headway is being made.

I went out earlier with the two mutts to the sweet pork place but just before I left I heard the wailing of a police siren and observed the car racing down the road. When I got to the restaurant it was there with lights flashing. Two pushbikes were laying in the road. I have no idea what happened, and with the absence of any other vehicle in a position where it may have been involved I can only assume that A) the bike riders had already been carted off to the hospital or morgue and B) the motor vehicle had done a runner. Or perhaps C) it was a serious collision between two bikes but I think that highly unlikely. My guess is that both A and B occurred because another police pick-up arrived to take the bikes away and there were photos and measurements galore being taken. Now of course, this being China, as I arrived with the opposite carriageway blocked, in my mind I had the right of way over oncoming traffic - right? Apparently not according to the taxi driver travelling in the opposite direction who blasted his horn to warn me to get out of his way. This is within yards of a squad car showing blue and red lights on his side along with half a dozen coppers on the road. Not likely matey, if you want to kill me because you think you are above the law then go ahead with the most perfect of witnesses only yards away! I really should purchase a Chieftain tank.

Later Ollivier invited me to drink some bottles of original Guinness outside the shops, and I hardly needed encouragement to sample stuff I haven’t had for a while. Slight problem there though with it being twice the potency of the local brews but lovely nonetheless.

At present I have pig leg bones cooking for Pepsi (and Robin if she deigns to come in when I call her shortly) and then for me it will be a cheese and bacon toastie - I don’t like throwing away more than half a loaf and I only ate two slices last night with the chilli.

Tomorrow I intend to be lazy, maybe press some trousers but nothing else. I see no sign of the army so I assume this week I will be teaching all my freshmen as normal. I wonder when I will get my easy fortnight. Still no word from the kid’s school so I have fingers crossed the owner has decided he doesn’t need me any more and I can reclaim my weekends - next weekend will give me my answer although I will not be pleased if his way of saying so is simply not to say anything.

Have a good Sunday folks and thanks for reading.

Tuesday 2nd October, 2012           2245

Another glorious day weatherwise and extremely lazy too. At noon I popped to town and although a jacket is needed in the evenings lately it is still mid-twenties during the day, a little on the cool side for me these days but still short sleeves weather. I did a bit of shopping, mainly to find something the animals will eat seeing as they refuse the duck lately (maybe it is off) and so trotters, kidneys and liver went into the basket. On the spur I also bought the makings for a “pottage” pie which will be dinner tomorrow night for the foreign contingent - nothing special but perhaps best described as “shovelling food”, something which is fine enough and you can simply fill up on it without qualms.

Ke Bi Wang for a quick lunch and to present JinJun with one of the spicy moon cakes the school gave us and I don’t like and then back to campus. I was feeling quite tired for some reason and decided on a nap but; as is often the case; I made a decision that saw a slightly different slant put on the afternoon. Nothing momentous, just something that in my world of curiosity dotted some Is and crossed a couple of Ts. I decided to have a single beer at our shops before going home and accordingly bought it and sat enjoying the sun at an outside table. Across the way I noticed a man looking at me and smiling.

Like most people I suspect, I knew the face but not the place, however I smiled back and then - shame on me - regretted it because it was the encouragement he was looking for to join me. And join me he did. It was not ere long before my memory was refreshed because it was the deaf mute. He actually detained me for a further two bottles by dint of getting his wife to go and buy them for me, although he limited himself to just the one. From our “conversation” I now know for sure he works as a miner in the frozen far north and if he hasn’t already started back will do so early tomorrow. His wife works as a seamstress and I think she is the daughter of the Mama who used to run the China Mobile shop (but which is now home to all sorts of food stands plus the “leemon” tea business). If true, she is mother to this girl, the little honey who is up there in my top ten lookers of all time and also a young fat boy.

But the one observation I made was this: I can only speak English and they can only sign (the only sign language I know is toilet and Guinness - essentials when drinking in a deaf club) yet I understood far more of what they were saying than I ever do from speaking to Chinese people who can’t use English. It does rather prove the power of body language and also shows how I can still demonstrate to my students the meaning of  difficult/lengthy words without having to use Mandarin.

Thursday 4th       2130

Reports of the pizza at the alleged “western” place were terrible, apparently the pizza base tasted like cake, as is normal for any form of Chinese bread. At least it saved me the expense of finding out for myself!

For last night’s pottage pie  which started out with the intention of just being for the three in the foreign enclave, we numbered five in the end. Kevin had asked if Leaf could come as she was keen to try “proper” western food so I said I would invite Kiki and as long as he made a loaf of bread I thought we could stretch the food. We did, and despite my misgivings over the small taste I had of the mince mixture before the spuds went on top, it was universally enjoyed - Kiki fell in love with the crunchy cheesy potato crust in particular. Kevin can pack away a fair amount of grub at the best of times, but whenever I cook he becomes an utter gannet. Everyone had a small portion of seconds, he was playing Mum and left a portion in one of the trays. I swear he did it because he just KNEW everyone would refuse it and it would fall to him to polish it off! Best of luck to him and to be honest it is always nice to see something you made relished. Shepherds pie may be a simple feat in the UK but here with only one hotplate it is a task and a half - meat and veg need to be done then the potatoes need to be boiled after so you are looking at two hours before it even sniffs the oven! Last night was the first time I have left a western Wednesday, gone home and not blogged and downed more wine. Why? Because not only was it two in the morning but there were six empty bottles of plonk! The girls never drank any, Kevin is a lightweight and maybe drank one, leaving Olivier and I to blame for five dead soldiers! A good night indeed.

Earlier though I had gone to buy fish for the animals. I took Pepsi, who on arrival leapt off the bike and darted scared into the undergrowth. I couldn’t find her. After half an hour I left, went back to campus and decided to return with Robin to see if she could help. Kevin came along but we had no success so she spent a cold, lonely and frightening night out in the open. Today I returned with Robin, no sign until I bought a beer with the intention of hanging around for a while in case she showed. No sooner had I popped the top off than Pepsi appeared. Now we are complete again, even Robin is home tonight which is her one night in four - well, that seems to be how it works lately.

On a whim this evening I invited Kiki to the sweet pork place - can I bring my friend? Yes of course - and chancing upon Olivier I invited him as well. Much better because the bill gets halved! We had a great meal, total bill 160y, and I think everyone left completely stuffed.

I don’t know what I shall do tomorrow but it won’t be far away as I am going to take Pepsi to the vet to sort her mange. More bloody expense and likely to cost between 300-500y which is intensely annoying as I had hoped to save some money this month but the spray isn’t working and I can’t leave her looking like, well, a mangy dog.

So I am absolutely whacked tonight, a bit of TV and an early night methinks.

Sunday 30th September, 2012            2300


Mid-autumn day and a lazyish one - as indeed I hope the rest of the Golden Week will be for me. I did though go out this evening. Earlier, Kevin and I sat and chatted over a drink in the warmth outside the shops, and there was a slightly odd couple loitering nearby. The male was too old to be a student but the female was hard to tell - Chinese girls often look incredibly young for their age. Anyway, she seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of photos of us on her phone. What prompted me to think they were odd was the fact that whenever I glanced at either of them all I got was a smile, with no attempt to communicate in any language. Eventually though, the girl - encouraged by our smiles - became bolder and indicated she would like photos of us with the man and then her. At this point a child of about ten arrived and still no communication apart from a little squeak from the boy. This confirmed my suspicion that the girl was deaf, as indeed were the rest of the family. They are surely also mute, probably as speech training for the deaf doesn’t exist in China unless you are very wealthy.

She showed us photos on her phone along with short videos she had taken, it looked as if she had a job in an office somewhere (although quite why they were on campus was unclear, they may have been collecting a student relative to take home for the holiday) and she patently took pleasure from the simplest of things, something I found endearing. And then she dropped her phone onto the concrete. The back came off and the battery flew out. I found myself praying she hadn’t smashed the screen or done irreparable damage to it - for some reason I desperately didn’t want anything unhappy to happen to her on a day she seemed to be taking such a delight in. With an anguished moan she picked it up, re-inserted the battery and then struggled to get the back on. I asked Kevin to do it for her (he’s good with such things) and asked him to check the screen. I discovered myself to be enormously relieved when it was intact and even more so when it worked perfectly after she switched it on. Eventually they took their leave.

Kiki had agreed to come to dinner and Kevin was keen as well so we tried out the new “western” restaurant. Kevin had struggled to find a “date” but at the last minute found one of his students - Leaf - who hadn’t gone home. Apparently the place does pizza, just not on the day we turned up. I ordered a chicken burger, a beef burger and some French fries, the others ordered fries with either a burger, a wrap or chicken wings and Kiki can’t resist custard tarts. I have to say I was left singularly unimpressed with the food (for starters the fries were overdone) although the wings went down well with the girls. But it wasn’t cheap at 140y for the food, three beers and a lemonade. It filled a hole for me but that’s about as far as it went. Whether I go again to see if their pizzas are acceptable is open to debate.

Then we went upstairs to the new bar. We played mixed doubles at pool for one game before Kiki decided she was useless and quit as my partner and this time it was spoilt by a crowd of Chinese boys who wanted to watch but we had to keep shooing away from the table as they were leaning on it and putting us off. This time of course we had to pay, and three beers plus two Bacardi breezers and ninety minutes of pool cost a staggering 116y! No wonder the kids don’t drink when they are there, and to be honest I won’t be going very often at those prices - we could all have gone twice for a prawn hotpot and beers for the money we spent this evening. The teacher/owner really needs to take a long hard look at his beer prices , I realise the imported spirits will always be expensive but Chinese beer doesn’t need to be 20y for a very small bottle - especially when you are trying to attract a student clientele.

Monday 1st October    1100

China’s 63rd birthday.

When we got back last night thankfully Robin decided to sleep at home, possibly because she had injured a front paw. Hanging on my doorknob was a small bag containing two moon cakes and an apple. It can only have come from the young mum in 304 (although I suppose it could have been the girls in 303 and 305!) because she had mentioned she would give me some cake a couple of days ago. I had said I would make her some more bread and indeed as I type there is a cinnamon and raisin sweet loaf in my machine which will be done in a couple of hours. It’s another glorious day outside but I don’t intend straying far, indeed I am considering baking a loaf for myself and having leftover chilli for dinner with lovely fresh bread and butter instead of rice!

2100

Well Kevin took one of his students for dinner tonight to the restaurant with the awful burgers. Ok, so I did hint when he said he was going there to at least try the pizza even if he ordered “safe” Chinese food as well, simply so if the pizza is garbage I won’t waste my own money finding out! I will report on his Egon Ronay entry in due course.

I have animal food on the go, a chilli I may have just made a lot hotter waiting in the microwave and laundry that now needs hanging to dry. Goodnight people and keep safe.