Saturday 29^th May, 2021 1645

I've not had a good day today. Firstly Jody woke me up going about her business (not her fault, by rights I should have woken up at six anyway given when I turned in) and because I was still absolutely shattered after yesterday (I hate Fridays) I started to drift back off.

And then that sodding bird started. God I hate it. Even when I lay on my right side so my slightly weaker left ear is the one exposed I can still hear it and it never shuts up. Must be female! I could use the earplugs I bought, certainly when I don't need to get up early but the one time I did on a work day I never heard the alarm!

Yesterday I had a bit of a bad stomach. My schedule is at fault. Three days a week I'm getting up at 0530 but my “movements” don't in general align, so I find myself praying I don't get caught short at school with only squat toilets. Of course, that acts as a compactor and I end up bunged up.

Now I don't eat a great deal of fruit but last night I bought some fresh cherries and they comprised my dinner. They eventually worked today but until they did I felt very uncomfortable. So my plans of going to BHG and washing all the dishes (I'm sure Jody doesn't believe a word) went by the board.

Tomorrow is scuppered because I have that English corner but I may well go for a McDonald's afterwards. A Big Mac normally goes through me in a sensible time frame! As usual that will leave Monday for scrambling to BHG and doing any baking I want to get done. Not having anywhere nearby campus (well, by my standards not nearby) in which to eat and the school canteens being execrable, my life is entirely taken up by planning and cooking school lunches and dinners at home. And I am losing the energy.

I may make a large apple pie for my lunch desserts (fruit!) and I have a couple of sausage rolls left which means if I make lemony, creamy prawns and pasta for my dinner on Monday I can take half of it for lunch on Tuesday. How I would love to have an English Tesco where I could buy microwaveable meals and ready lunches! Of course, now the weather is warmer if I had an e-bike I could zip out at lunchtimes and in the evenings. For about a month before the lunatic traffic in this city either killed me or put me in hospital.

Moaning over. For today at least.

Three hours ago Jody returned from her side job teaching at the primary school (she's back there now for a later class after having a nap here) and declared “It's f*****g hot outside!” According to the weather site it should have been 28ºC which for Lanzhou is indeed warm. I'd opened my office window to warm the place up but it only helped marginally as always.

But then a while later the sky started to darken and a wind arrived. I shouted to her (eating her noodles next door) that I thought it was about to rain, which wasn't on the cards. It didn't. Yet another million tonnes of the Gobi desert descended upon us.

I believe this year so far is a record for sandstorms in northern China and my previous years saw only a couple of mild ones but this year the sky turns orange and visibility is severely reduced. This one disappeared after an hour so was less intense than the recent one that enveloped us for three days.

And my heathcode thing stopped working yesterday. I asked Jody to take a look and she said I needed to fill out the information again. Great. A) it is in Chinese and B) I have no idea how to do it. I will ask Brenda to sort it (she installed it in the first place) but I shall wait until I get my new passport which fingers crossed, will be with me in about three weeks.

I don't even want to think about it getting lost in the EMS system Roland!

 

Friday 28^th May, 2021 1945

Inspection is now complete so everyone else can go back to whatever slovenly ways they had before. I kept calm and carried on.

It also seemed that the vaccination team had finished when we got to campus this morning. I started smelling a rat.

My middle class has a girl from Belarus in it (and yes, of course I simply had to tell her she wasn't allowed in my airspace!) but when I asked if everyone had been vaccinated they all said yes except her. Naturally I asked her why (knowing the probable answer) and she said that the school was making foreign students pay for their injections. Armed with the information from Our Man In Shanghai, I gaily informed her it was only 100¥ a pop. Nope, she was told by the doctor it was 250¥ a time! Oh.......right.

I don't think Jody has had hers yet and I certainly haven't so this evening I emailed Brenda to innocently enquire as to what news she had for teachers being inoculated.

Her answer could hardly have been further from what I expected, which was that probably I have to pay myself (which she in turn told me was 440¥ for both shots) but I couldn't have one.

I'm too old!!!

The over 60s are not being inoculated. Brenda's parents haven't been either.

Now the UK started with the fossils, worked down to the dinosaurs, moved onto the midlife crises brigade and I believe are now jabbing the 30s.

China appears to be doing the exact opposite.

There may be an OAP programme given time but for now I ain't getting it, although presumably if I wanted it now I would need to pay. No problem with paying but if I don't need it?

And think about this: I have never at any point been particularly concerned about the virus – foolhardy bravado perhaps – and if I was I would have run a mile and likely ended up leaping from the frying pan into the barbecue. One only has to look at Merca pulling all the Peace Corps volunteers back home to what became the worst possible place to be.

China is and always has been one of the safest places on the planet during this pandemic. They handled it better than the USA, UK, Europe and many other places. So why would I now criticise them for doing things in reverse order from the UK? They've done a pretty decent job so far.

I do however wonder what future implications there may be if I want to go “abroad” (by which I mean outside China) for a holiday if I haven't got the right medical status. Time will tell and by then I hope the testing doesn't involve huge cotton buds shoved up your hooter because that I do not want!

 

Wednesday 26^th May, 2021 1720

The new light in the office is great. Really bright.

Yesterday the great vaccination started on campus. Millions of students queueing outside the medical centre but still no news on when I will get stuck. Tonight on the way home in the taxi I noticed a huge queue opposite Peili Square, probably half a mile long. The queue ended at the pharmacy so they must also be sticking people.

Well if they think I am going to stand around waiting for hours they can think again. Firstly I am a grumpy old git and secondly I can't stand for any length of time. If it comes to it I will go somewhere and pay for my own jab privately. It can't be that expensive if everyone else is getting it for free.

Yesterday was all hands to panic stations. The first I knew of it was when Jody wanted to leave fifteen minutes earlier than usual. Naturally I moaned about it but considering Tuesday is the one day I have a class not on the ground floor and she lugs my books, laptop and lunch, well it meant I would be having two cigars before my eight o'clock class. And she would carry my stuff upstairs.

The reason?

The inspectors were coming.

I went through this rigmarole seven years ago in Chizhou. It's all to do with universities wishing to gain promotion so they can grant Masters degrees as well as Bachelors. I assume with the prestige of that also comes more money for the school and a pay rise for the teachers.

Anyway, everyone runs around like a blue arsed fly in case their classroom is one of those chosen for them to sit in and observe. Except me.

One, there are hundreds of classrooms so the chances of yours being picked are slight and two, they are never going to come to mine because they don't speak English! To be frank, were they to do so, I'd have loved it. I would have ensured they participated in the class. I would have changed nothing, unlike the Chinese teachers who had all prepared special measures. I fail to see the point of an inspection where everyone knows the date – bit like the Queen thinking the world smells of fresh paint. Surely random unannounced visits would yield more honest results.

However, to my delight the students all put their mobile phones on the front desk before class started. That was the first time ever that the entire class actually watched the portion of the film I showed them instead of Wechatting.

We should have an inspection every day!

 

Monday 24^th May, 2021 1820

Cor! Dear! If it isn't earthquakes all around it's ultramarathon runners dying close by! Rather unfortunate though that they died from hypothermia at the back end of May in the northern hemisphere. I'm assuming ultramarathons at 60km (38miles) are not something Hilton Steve would go in for at 65 years of age so haven't enquired as to whether he is extant or not.

Having been a lazy toad over the weekend, I had a frenzy of activity today. Ok, yesterday I had some printouts done for a passport application and my snaps taken. I wonder how much 6 x A4 sheets printed out plus four passport photos will cost these days in the UK? Cost me £2.

Today though was full. My office light had reduced to 50% and annoyingly it was the strip they replaced a fortnight ago that had failed. I asked for them to come at ten and blow me, they did bang on time! The first chap fixed it and I thought that was it but the old guy (haha! Here's me saying “old” when quite probably I am older!) turned up with his own solution – rip the entire light off the ceiling and fit a new LED one. Oddly I was given the choice so I agreed, I didn't want any comeback when the light packed up again in future – which given recent history wasn't going to be long.

So they removed Mickey Mouse and stuck a UFO on my ceiling. It's not dark yet but it certainly seems to be a lot brighter. And I won't pay for replacements as I have no idea what to buy, although when they left I did give them the three spare fluorescent strips I had bought so that will be quits.

Then it was time for a much-needed shearing. I have been wanting one for weeks but the weather has been too cold. Today was the day. I decided to walk to the barber, get shorn and then go to BHG. Before I crossed the eight-lane highway on foot I checked his barber's poles were illuminated and spinning. They were. When I got there the doors were locked. Shithead! Turn them off when you are at lunch!

Did my shopping but was still hell-bent on a haircut so went to the one in Peili Square. Cost me 25¥ instead of twenty but there will be no more itchiness in the sideburn region. Not that I have any sideboards (or have had for decades) but that's when I know it's time for “click go the shears boys”.

And then it was back to do laundry and make a cottage pie. I even washed up after I put it in the oven, which should please Madam, who thinks I leave everything for her to wash up. I don't, it's just that I hate washing up in the evening and always leave it until the day after.

So hopefully in the next couple of days I can send the passport gubbins to Roland. Sieve brain is supposed to be filching a large envelope from school for me and there's no point in texting her to remind her because she turns her phone off all day.

Wuhu Alice has now decided she doesn't want to come to Shanghai after Yunnan. No problem with that, she will be starting on her PhD in Hainan a fortnight later so I empathise. Now I am trying to shuffle with seeing Joan after instead of before Yunnan and Baiyin Alice wants to come to Shanghai for a few days. Why does she want to come to Shanghai? Well ok, there are the obvious reasons; free hotel bed courtesy of me, she'll be treated to the best western food Shanghai can offer by both Roland and me and all it will cost her is her travel. Oh, and the added attraction of her new best friend TJ. God, what I wouldn't give to be young again!

Oh yes! Before I go, when I went shopping I “bought” three pairs of what looked like decent quality socks. They were in the special offer sin bin. I wasn't allowed to have them because the barcode hadn't been entered on the system. Why put the frigging things out then???

 

Saturday 22^nd May, 2021 2100

I got up early this morning, my body clock is attuned to early starts now and long gone are the days I could sleep for ten hours straight given the chance. Anyway, Jody was getting ready to leave for her side job teaching at weekends at the primary school but she lost no time in telling me there was a 7.4 magnitude earthquake at 0204 this morning.

Being a bit groggy from sleep I initially said I was in bed so I never felt anything. Then the brain kicked in – 7.4??? That's building collapse territory and fatalities. Turns out it was in the next-door province of Qinghai (where Xining is, I went there with the Peace Corps girls) and was located about 370 miles from here. No casualties either because it was more of a tectonic plate shift in the Tibetan plateau where nobody really lives. The day before there was a 6.4 magnitude quake in Dali where I am going with Alice in a couple of months and there were fatalities and casualties. Hmmm.

Roland in Shanghai has very kindly offered to be my proxy and apply for my passport. I had more or less decided to leave it to the end of July when I finish and take the chance of getting a quick turnaround but this now seems eminently more sensible. I courier the stuff to him and maybe before I even need to start booking flights I will have my new passport – hopefully a proper black one (I'll be mightily annoyed if it's one of those hideous EU maroon ones).

It works on a few levels, not least of all because a rough check of costs merely for hotels and flights for what I want to do looks like setting me back £3,000. Unreal basically when you think a family of four could probably holiday in Spain for three months half board for that! But I did say I was going to have a splurge this summer and so I shall. On the basis that retirement looms in one year it will be a case of saving money as fast as I can.

The damned students have asked me to come to their English corner. Next Sunday! Thank heaven for small mercies, it will be at 1400 so I have agreed and made it quite clear I have no intention of attending on a regular basis!

My students are all unhappy this week. They will be having mid-term exams. I said “don't look at me!” because I don't and won't do them. It takes me two weeks to test them all so to do mid-terms would mean losing four weeks of teaching instead of two. The other subjects, well they will be a written paper take on one day. Good luck to the teachers with extra work marking them! Grandpa ain't playing that game!

 

Friday 21^st May, 2021 2000

One of the things I do with my classes is demand that they give me a couple of stories at the start of each lesson. I don't ask for much, a simple tale of the hotpot they went for with their dorm-mates is sufficient. In return, I give them stories I glean from the news - because Chinese students know nothing of what's going on unless it is trending on Wechat.

So this week one of the stories I have told has been about “jijia”. A really odd item because jijia means chicken ribs. Now, Lanzhou is famous for beef noodles but it seems Shenyang is famous for chicken ribs. As bizarre as this may seem for being in the news, it had a # thingy on Wechat because Shenyang reported two new Covid cases and one was an elderly man who had apparently been to a jijia restaurant three times recently and then contracted Covid. So of course there was an element of the population who suspected jijia caused Covid.

I was more interested in the fact I have been to Shenyang and never knew chicken ribs were the speciality and also bemused by wondering who the hell eats chicken ribs???? Pork or beef ribs, great, plenty of meat. But chicken ribs??? Maybe Our Man In Kuala Lumpur can shed some light?

I was sitting through endless adverts on ITV lately on catch up. Is it just me or does everyone seem to be either going on a Tui holiday or pissing their panties? Whatever happened to proper adverts for snap, crackle and pop, Domestos and so on?

So I have just finished another awful week. I have had no change from Lynne re the 23^rd July finish despite my request for her to double check after a previous fiasco when I was told to finish and then halfway through exams told to have another two weeks. Sue from the English department hasn't even replied. I couldn't care less.

Except there is the passport and residence permit renewal conundrum. The former doesn't expire until next August but it means my residence permit cannot extend beyond that and this year it expires in early September.

Do I leave it until the end of July to apply for a new passport and hope that like Roland my new one comes back in two weeks? Or do I spend a bloody fortune and make a special trip next month? Don't get me wrong, I can afford it either way and still go on my roaming holiday. It is really nice to be in that position now because until two years ago I was having to borrow money – and for not extravagant holidays.

I honestly don't know what to do. Part of me says yes, go and have a weekend in Pudong and then start your summer holiday flying straight to Nanjing on the way to meet Joan after what, 4 years? And then on to Yunnan province to tour with Alice.

I need to decide. Brenda sent me a text yesterday saying that the director of the foreign affairs bureau will be back from holiday next week but if she does some extra work I can probably continue here. Seriously? I have no idea why she has to portray herself as a heroine every time. She is damned good at her job anyway and I have told her so. Lying about such things thinking it will cause me anxiety is not the way to go. I already knew the limit was 70 years of age. GAU told me that.

Anyway, over the past eleven years I have been delighted as a teacher to learn of many students going on to other, more prestigious universities, and obtaining Masters Degrees. Chuffed to bits.

But nary a PhD to be seen.

Until now.

Alice (Wuhu) who I will be travelling with this summer is going for it! I am absolutely delighted and she hopes to study for it on the island of Hainan (where Yangmei Lily was living last time she contacted me). I am as pleased as Punch because in a way it would say that yes, just maybe I am a teacher. Go Alice!

Hopefully she will have enough free time tom do Yunnan and once again come to Shanghai.

 

Saturday 15^th May, 2021     2200

So thousands have been marching in London to protest over the Israel-Palestine conflict. Why??? What is all this rot? We saw it with George Floyd yet not an English Bobby was anywhere near but I see no protests about the killing of our own policewoman recently. Instead of cracking down on Covid they should come down hard on this stuff. The UK isn't doing it so it shouldn't be laid on their doorstep.

Anyway, my life wouldn't be complete without yet new problems and once again it is the case.

My residence permit expires on 2^nd September so Brenda called, concerned that because my passport expires next August we would need to apply for a new permit in July this year. I informed her I intended to obtain a replacement passport this summer.

To that end I asked the school when I finish this term. And to my horror I have at present been told 24^th July – the same as everyone else. For 10½ years foreign teachers have always finished two weeks earlier, so I was expecting to finish up on the 9^th, pay a flying visit to Shanghai to apply for my passport and then continue my holiday, with luck when I returned being able to collect said replacement.

Now Our Man In Shanghai recently got his in a fortnight. But this is me. Life doesn't work that way for me! Besides, 26^th August in Shanghai destroys my summer holiday plans (and no blame can attach to Covid this time) as no matter what, I need to be back here for the expiry date to lodge an extension to the permit.

I am pressing for clarification but if it does not change I am presented with various problems:

1. Still no official notification I can get a Z visa (although I think that's what makes the grass grow green in Texas)

2. Do I accept a permit that expires in July given that it will impact when I retire next year?

3. Do I act like a bull in a china shop as always and cost myself an absolute fortune by flying to Shanghai beforehand to apply and ask for a day's leave from school?

None of the above is set in stone yet. I await responses regarding the finish dates as it is unheard of in the last decade. As a last resort I will ask Brenda.

What I don't want is a passport renewal that should have cost me about £300 to cost me £1,000. And that's about what it would end up costing if I have to make a special trip.

 

Thursday 13^th May, 2021 1300

I got up this morning at 0650. the Devil Bird hadn't started its racket at that time but I had gone to bed early.

I peed in an empty cracker barrel (I have four of them) which is something that I occasionally have to do when I find that Jody is in the shower when I rise. I find at my age when I gotta go, I gotta GO!

When she finished I asked her what time the opening ceremony was starting. 0830. I was going to BHG anyway and then I thought it would be a shame to break my unbroken record so I would go to it. Once she had left I showered. She had gone early because the Chinese teachers have to sign in to say they are there and then stand around waiting for ages, I on the other hand was obliged to do nothing.

A taxi which was occupied stopped, looking for additional revenue so I showed the written address and the driver told me to get in. The passenger in the rear had to be dropped off first of course so that delayed me a little and I arrived ten minutes late, just in time for the national anthem.

I never took my camera, no point as not only would the pictures have been no good but they would have been no different to previous years. It's always the same routine. Anyway, I wasn't going to walk miles for a good vantage point, I simply wanted to show my face. What I did was commandeer a seat and drag it to the perimeter fence to watch from there.

I wore a bright orange shirt in order to stand out but quickly realised that regardless of what colour I had worn, there would have been an army of students wearing the same! Every department had their own colour combination (one major comprising solely of girls looked like a forest of gold Christmas trees) and the only colour not represented was purple. I don't have that in my wardrobe.

Quite a few of my students saw me though so my presence was noted even though I never saw any faculty from my departments. They were probably nobbing up in the stand, which was a sea of umbrellas in the sunshine with nary a seat spare even if I'd had the energy to get there and mount the steps. My idea of a classroom chair was much better. All that was missing was a hot dog and burger stall, for once I was famished.

There were naturally the ubiquitous drones, two of them, but some bright spark had decided to tie banners to them. I did think it somewhat unwise at the time and sure enough, after about ten minutes of flying time, one of them came to grief and plummeted in a freefall to earth. This disabled one of the four propellers and rendered it rather skittish for the lad who was piloting it (and doubtless will cost him a few bob to fix). The banners were ditched.

I was there for seventy minutes and then the ceremony was over. Then it was time for a taxi to BHG and something to eat. It there was a McDonald's there I was in time for a McMuffin but there isn't so ended up eating something indeterminate inside a puff pastry “bun” that wasn't very appetising so I ate half and did my shopping. I was home before eleven. Duty done.

 

Wednesday 12^th May, 2021 1800

Early yesterday morning I emailed Brenda to push for an answer on next year because, quite frankly, it's late considering term ends in a mere two months.

She called me after lunch to tell me they were awaiting permission from the Foreign Affairs Bureau to apply for a residence permit. The issue is that I am now at another deadly age – 65. Ere long the Chinese themselves will have to work until 65 rather than 60 as at present but for now this place is so ageist it's unreal.

Personally I expect permission to be granted – after all, since the pandemic Lanzhou has hardly been awash with foreign teachers and by denying me they would leave City University bereft of any foreign teacher. Tut tut. According to Brenda the school want me to stay although on their behalf she did plead poverty and tell me she could only get approval for a modest pay rise. I couldn't give a mosquito's bite for a damned pay rise, I just want that last year of work. If all I cared about was money I certainly wouldn't still be here after five years of freezing my scrotum off for 8 months out of 12!

Another reason I pushed was because I have also asked the faculty when I finish this term. If I am staying I have that long holiday planned but before commencing it, as a matter of some urgency now, I need to whizz to Shanghai for a flying visit (2 nights) to apply for a new passport 14 months early. That's because Brenda is panicking and says that as my current passport expires next August and they won't issue a permit beyond that date, she wants to apply for my residency in July. Clearly if I retire next year in July and want to remain in China that's going to throw up problems with timing of visas and the like. I am hoping that I can have a new black British passport to replace that hideous EU one well before I need a new permit. And of course once I have applied, start that holiday.

Anyway, bugger me but wasn't I sitting watching The Killing in the evening when there was a knock at the door. I've had a couple of “wrong numbers” lately and assumed this was no different. Until I opened the door to be confronted by two extremely tall uniforms and a plain clothes bod. This was not the same as last time when they had a clipboard and were doing the entire building. No, they were only here for me. Showed them my passport, offered my wrists to be handcuffed, they laughed and left. Brenda said it was a routine job because they were checking if I lived in building 7 or 8. Well that's bullshit because last year when Jody went to the Nick not 200 yards away to get paperwork for me she told them exactly where I lived. It all seemed (and still seems) too much of a coincidence.

Nothing ever stays in equilibrium for long here. Time will tell what happens next.

 

Sunday 9^th May, 2021 2140

Many thanks to those readers who sent birthday salutations. I would love to lie and say it was a rip-roaring knees up but it was the complete opposite. Bloody Jody was teaching primary school kids so my hoped-for Japanese lunch was off (no point going alone and I'm not Chinese so I don't invite people at the last minute because they will know they were an afterthought).

No, today was a day of nothing. What did I do? I went out and withdrew ¥5,000 from the hole in the wall, went to the jing jo shop and then bought a pineapple and honeydew melon from the fruit stall. That's it. Oh, except I got a winning rip top from one of my beer cans. No idea what I have won but probably just a free can of booze instead of the ¥2,888 top prize. If I can remember to take it to the shop tomorrow I will find out.

I was reading the BBC website and a report that said grandparents were “allowed” to hug their grandkids on May 17^th. Allowed? When in the history of England have they ever been prohibited before??? I have to say, if I was back in Blighty I'd have been going bonkers about all the restrictions. The lockdowns didn't do anything because idiots broke the rules, that I understand but some of the “rules” have just been plain barmy. And all those ads on ITV about “Oh, that makes seven so I must uninvite one” for an outside drink in a pub beer garden? And here's me pissed off with being asked to wear a mask in supermarkets and on public transport! That's it, nothing else. And yes, I hate the damned things and wear mine under my nose (and if I can get away with it, under my chin).

I have had enough of the overreaction to the pandemic, as I am sure have many of you reading this but the odd thing is, it was first discovered here but really, since March last year life has more or less been business as usual. Apart from those sodding awful masks. Everyone's a doctor now.

Poor old Kevin still can't get back to his home in Argao, Philippines, even to quarantine because the embassy isn't issuing visas and they are having a torrid time of it. His ex colleagues who also made the mistake of travelling in the last spring festival, are stuck in their home countries too. One of them is in Northumberland and believe it or not he is still teaching online! Still getting paid but get this - he can't access his Chinese bank account in the UK so his parents are subbing him. I suggested to Kevin that given the circumstances I couldn't see any reason the school could not use BACS to pay into his UK account. Sometimes stupidity leaves me speechless.

Me? Well it's the 10^th tomorrow and the alleged meeting about retaining me was supposed to take place this month. As I don't believe any such meeting is to take place and it is purely Chinese mind games, tomorrow I will push. If indeed they want me to go (and it won't be because of the student appraisals of me, that I guarantee) then I need to make plans. Equally if I am staying then I have a mega holiday to plan!

Wish me luck!

 

Saturday 8^th May, 2021 1930

That was odd.

I'd fallen asleep at my desk (happening more and more often these days) and I was awoken by a knocking on my door. Nobody knocks on my door unexpectedly except the police and they haven't done that for a couple of years. No Jehovah's Witnesses here and normally anyone else is deterred when they realise I don't speak Chinese.

This time the chap was adamant and he had the old dear of a neighbour next door to back him up. What do you want? Now he had a clipboard and pen. Those two items used to get me out of all sorts of unpleasant drydock jobs when I was at sea because I simply said I was working for the Superintendent. The guy kept pointing into his mouth and eventually I guessed that ah! He had come to test me for Covid. First time for everything I supposed and let him in.

Far from whacking a cotton bud down my throat, he made a beeline to the kitchen! He just wanted to check there were no gas leaks from the boiler or hob! First time in five years anyone has ever checked.

Today we had the make up classes for Wednesday and from now until a week from Tuesday I have just three classes, sports days intervening. And I am 90% certain I shall be avoiding campus for the first time.

And tomorrow should be a big day for me. I will turn 65 and that was always a big one but I don't think so. Not any more. They ruined 21 and made it 18 and then they made mine 66. Oh, certainly my naval pension will double (I hope, if I've read the paperwork correctly) but no state pension for another year. If I get another year here then that's fine, I can build a little nest egg while I panic over what I am going to do next summer. I might even be able to travel for a trip to England for the first time in nine years if business class seats come down from their idiotic heights. £6,000 return when I checked this morning! Are they trying to make their losses back in the first month??

Remember “The future's bright – the future's orange”?

For me read uncertain!

 

Thursday 6^th May, 2021 0830

I am not a happy camper today. And I am irate with the person responsible. Me.

I got up at 0530 and arrived on campus for 0745. My suspicions were aroused when I put my bags in the classroom before going for a smoke. There were no students, which is highly unusual.

That sinking feeling grew when the eight o'clock bell sounded and still no sign of my class. With increasing annoyance, I fired up the laptop and double checked my emails from days ago. Translation majors are it seems not affiliated to the English Language department and until Monday, all classes other than English Majors plus the one class of juniors I have, are doing alternative classes.

So it was a case of trying to get a taxi back home and return again in time for the 1430 class I do have or a six and a half hour “lunch break”. Guess who's on a long lunch break? And nobody to blame but myself. At least I know that tomorrow I don't need to be here until 1430. I'm just hoping there isn't a class taking place in this room at ten and I have to relocate, that will just cap it off.

1750

There was a class at 1010 so I had to decamp and with no spare classrooms I had to go to the office. I hadn't been there more than half an hour when the permanent resident came over and asked me if I could avoid smoking. Nothing wrong with that per se but I immediately pointed out that the only reason I had smoked in there in the first place was because I had seen male Chinese teachers come in and smoke!

Get this: she then responded with a reply to the effect that they only smoke occasionally but I smoke lots!! I refrained from hitting back with the fact once a week IS occasionally (because it's only on a Thursday when all classrooms are full) and agreed to take my habit outside in the corridor. Bitch. Next time I shall stand outside and blow the smoke in through the doorway. And if I see a Chinese teacher smoking in there...........

Joan sent me a Wechat message yesterday asking if I remembered the Indian restaurant where we had curry and onion rings (by which I reckon she was referring to bhajias). I do. The Taj Mahal in Nanjing and so I told her. Sadly the place has had bad Trip Advisor reviews lately and the Al-Jannat has now cornered top spot so I suggested perhaps there instead. She is going to Nanjing this month and has a hankering for curry again. It has to be seven years since we went there together!

When I finished today two of my students wanted to do a short “cultural” interview with me on camera. That's fine but I do wish they had asked in the morning, then I could have told them I had a huge void to fill and could do it any time before class. The main reason is that getting a taxi home is hit and miss. The gate I use, because of all the building work going on, has for some time and will be for a considerable time to come been a dead end. The only taxis you get are ones that bring people to school – you hop in when they get out.

Well the girls delayed me so I missed the usual couple of cabs and stood waiting for 25 minutes before deciding I'd better start walking. Sod's law states that as soon as I do that a taxi will appear and by the time it has turned around someone else has nabbed it. I got halfway up the road and a taxi hove into sight. Then another. And another. And yet another! Unbelievable. The last one actually had a green light so I flagged him down and the story ended well.

 

Monday 3^rd May, 2021 1800

Today is what would have been my Mother's 88^th birthday. Two fat ladies as the bingo caller would say. I wouldn't have mentioned here that my Mum was in fact two fat ladies rolled into one but for the fact were I able to speak to her that's exactly what I would have told her. She'd have called me a cheeky sod but only between guffaws.

So lunch today was a surprise in more ways than one. Firstly Adriana's 16 year old spoilt rich kid little empress student decided to have a spat with her mother and cut her nose off to spite her face by not joining us. Her loss, not in the materialistic sense because she is draped in Gucci and Armani because the folks are stinking rich but she may just have learnt something about life today. I couldn't care less about her, she refuses even to adopt an English name. Her Chinese name is Yuanyuan – moneymoney. Says it all I suppose but the parents are now reaping the rewards and being Chinese will probably ensure she has a huge monthly allowance possibly for the rest of her life. But she won't learn about life. And I never had to pay for her lunch.

Anyway, another surprise was going upstairs in the mall. I have only ever been to the ground floor for Burger King and then down for Metro. Ok I said, let's have Korean? Twenty one people waiting ahead of us so an estimated hour wait. Adriana had to leave by 1420 so that wasn't on. Ok, let's try the crab restaurant. Forty minutes to wait!

Granted, it's a holiday but not that big a one. She suggested hotpot or a chicken place. I didn't fancy either. What about the Japanese place? I think that's expensive. Bugger it, let's check it out.

No waiting time, straight in, by virtue of the prices! 298¥ a head but all you can eat and drink within two hours of your first food being delivered. So bang went 600¥ from my war chest for what I thought was an extortionate amount. Our man in Shanghai will laugh because our meals there are 1.000-3000¥ a time but hey - I am in the allegedly poorest Chinese province.

But what the hell, we'd gone for lunch and lunch we would have.

It is one of the darkest restaurants I have ever been in. The décor is all black but there is individual table lighting. You can choose whatever you want from the menu as long as it isn't on the 398¥ ticket (which to be quite honest is a waste of an extra hundred a head, there's plenty of choice) and we did. The waiter did explain to Adriana that the dishes were “delicate and minimal” (meaning I assume nouvelle cuisine) so she ordered bucketloads.

I have a small appetite at the best of times but having eaten nothing since the Starbucks breakfast yesterday I felt ready. So ready that when the first wave of food was finished we ordered reinforcements! Not all the dishes were great but most of them were. When we parted company I had intended to go to Metro to buy croissants but I was so full I just tottered off to get a taxi before my hip collapsed from under me!

I will definitely be going back there, maybe as early as next Sunday, with Jody.

 

Sunday 2^nd May, 2021 1630

We got up early to take showers before the water was turned off for the day (it's back on now) and at 0845 took a taxi to a Starbucks that turned out not to be that far from main campus.

Coffee is Jody's thing, me? I am quite happy with a mug of Nescafe instant every second morning. But she promised they do breakfast. Having only ever been to Starbucks once in my life before (with Wuhu Alice I think but I can't remember which city), I was sceptical. I did though buy us a pannini on that occasion.

Well they do indeed offer breakfast but not as we know it! However, that's not to say I am complaining. I did have a coffee (GOD they are HOT!) plus something most odd, a circular croissant sliced and with an egg, cheese and “bacon” filling. It was actually quite nice. I followed that with a scone, again not as we know it, very dry and sans any butter, jam or cream. If I ever go again I will give that a miss and have a muffin.

They had two outside tables with chairs and I wanted to smoke but there were five old people occupying them. I moaned to Jody and she said that as they weren't actually eating or drinking anything, the staff would move them. I felt a little guilty that we had squashed them onto one table but I did thank them for moving. Seems they just go there to gossip and watch the world go by without ever buying anything. Bit cheeky.

I think today is the hottest day of the year so far at about 24°C and when we finished and waited for a taxi I felt decidedly woozy, ditto when we waited outside BHG after getting my shopping. I think five years in Lanzhou has started converting me into a Mongol or an Inuit. And still my flat is cold! I have had to turn the heater on now.

As long as I feel ok, the lunch with Adriana and her tutee is on tomorrow. She wanted to go to Charlie's Burger but as tomorrow is supposed to be chilly (and it's a 40¥ taxi ride each way for me) there was no way. I will never tackle their precipitous stairs again and after Christmas Day having my nuts frozen sitting on one of the only downstairs tables, I won't be going there again unless the weather is nice and warm. Chinese people seem singularly incapable of closing doors after them.

So we are going to Lanzhou Center (no, they spell it the Mercan way, it's not me deserting English) where apparently there are other restaurants besides McDonald's and Burger King. Adriana seems to know them so maybe Japanese or Korean for lunch, possibly western depending on what's on offer. So that's Monday's food sorted.

Looks like we have another sandstorm that has just arrived.

Tuesday I am unsure whether to make a load of sausage rolls for campus lunches. If my pork leg is successful on Wednesday I can bake bread and make sandwiches. It would be nice to simply stroll into Tesco and buy a pasty or a cheese and onion slice!

 

Mayday 2021 1845

Cooking a proper dinner tonight – steak, egg, chips and fried onions. The onions will be blackened. My mother always screwed up onions and burnt them on the rare occasion we had steak and I developed a taste for “caramelised”. Not dissimilar to the acquired taste I got at Conway when at breakfast they only served margarine. Not Flora, real margarine. I developed a liking for it on toast with orange marmalade.

Anyway, first day of a supposed five day holiday which in reality for the students is just the one day (Monday) seeing as we had extra classes last Sunday and will also have the coming Saturday. As I don't teach on Monday I am not in fact getting any holiday at all! Again.

I just bought some leg of pork from around the corner to transform into ham, the first time in almost a year. Interestingly, I discovered they have a mincer! So now when I want mince I can simply go there instead of all the way to BHG.

In the morning Jody and I are going to Starbucks for breakfast. She has long wanted to do so and I thought why not? Seems they actually do offer breakfast fare along with overpriced coffee. Adriana has been nagging for me to “hang out” with her or I won't see her for a very long time. I have agreed to have lunch, probably on Monday, and she will bring her private student who refuses to learn English. The parents pay Adriana to teach her but she is struggling to get the kid (a high school student) to engage. I suppose my job – besides paying for lunch – is to convince the little madam that learning English is something that just might be a good idea.

Our water will be off from 0800-1800 tomorrow for repairs. I thank small mercies that here Brenda tells me in advance so I can fill the kettle and a bucket. She told me on Thursday and I moaned as to why they couldn't do it tomorrow (Friday) when I wasn't here. She immediately emailed back in a panic to say I hadn't sent her a travel advice – which city was I going to???

I informed her I taught all day on Friday on main campus.