Friday 29th March, 2013        1530

Well I wasn’t too happy this morning because rather than being reasonably warm as expected, it was damned chilly. I wasn’t so much concerned about me but Lottie - riding on a bike in a cold and windy cage can’t be pleasant. However, by noon the sun appeared and I was after all able to follow my plan.

Again, she protested loudly all the way there (and back) and continued complaining even when confronted in the vets by an enormous dog that looked a bit like a malamute only much, much bigger which gave the impression of wanting to make her an early lunch. I left her there for half an hour while I did a couple of things in town and when I returned I got the job of holding her for the stitches to be removed. She was having none of it and in the end I had no choice but to hold her up by the scruff of the neck. Such fuss over something which was over in less than two minutes.

I had to do my washing today by way of pouring umpteen buckets into the machine at intervals. I am informed they don’t keep spares on campus and it is possible the fittings are obsolete so I told them there must be a way of buying a new fitting for the tap and sticking that on to the old hose. Christ, I remember the days of outsize hoses that were popped over taps and then held in place by a circular clip tightened with a screwdriver. Considering the maintenance men here are expert bodgers it can’t be too much to ask.

2030

The pizzas went well. I made six because they are only 9” pans and Qing polished off two when I made them in February. Yvonne (blue cardigan) and Coco (tan jacket) managed three between them, I ate but one, leaving two uncooked spares currently residing in my fridge. We used Kevin’s place as he is downtown and I don’t think there will be any complaints from him (if he comes back tonight) as we only left four glasses to wash up, which I shall do tomorrow anyway. Sadly they asked to come early because Yvonne is dancing tonight, I think she is learning to dance to jazz, and of course when they asked I hadn’t even put the oven on to preheat. Not being able to fit more than one at a time in the oven wasn’t really an issue because they cook in ten minutes anyway. Coco declared them to be as good as Pizza Hut and Yvonne - who was having pizza for the first time simply said “delicious”. It was probably as well they had to leave at eight because all three of us were dog-tired, although I shall try to stay up a little later tonight in the hope of sleeping later. I don’t particularly want to be yawning in my one lesson tomorrow afternoon.  

Saturday 30th            1915

The ride into town this afternoon was the usual affair, fraught with idiots in cars who paid someone to take their driving test in their place with murder in their hearts and a blue truck hell bent on squashing me into the tarmac because he wasn’t going to stop for a red light regardless. However, this time I had a first.

Alongside the road which goes around the lake there are bamboo forests which have recently been thinned out or harvested, probably 50% of the trees have now been felled and taken away to make chopsticks or whatever. I was approaching a man I would estimate was approaching mid-sixties who had stopped his e-bike, saw him get off, look in the verge, look straight at me proceeding at full tilt, bend down and pick up an entire bamboo trunk. To my horror - having seen my proximity and speed - he then swung the trunk so that it was at about my chest height and exactly the width of the road! I had no chance of stopping before it either took me off my bike or removed my head as I ducked. Luckily I knew the car behind me was some way back and there was nothing coming in the opposite direction so I took evasive action and ended up on the opposite verge, thankfully maintaining control and not plummeting into the forest. It was pointless stopping in order to beat an older man senseless so I contented myself with some good old fashioned western curses delivered in my best parade ground/berserk voice. The old fool might not speak English but he was left in no doubt as to my opinion - I even elicited a surprised response from the duffer. Rather gratifyingly, seconds later I heard the following car sounding its horn in a severe “road rage” manner. Maybe the driver of that beat him to a pulp, I can but hope.

I popped into KBW for my lunch and nearly left straight away when I saw there was no sweet pork left (nothing really worth eating otherwise, I only go in to see JinJun and augment the pork with some vegetables) but then spied the last portion of it ready on a small plate. With ten people in front of me in the queue it was odds-on it would be snaffled before I got there. There can’t be a single staff member there who doesn’t know I always have the pork when I go in and despite the fact each server only deals with their own little section, the first one very, very kindly, ignored everyone else and went and got it for me! By way of a thank you I picked my second dish of chicken and peppers from her section!

And then the fun began. I had a table to myself and as I was minding my own business eating my food I noticed a man who patently had absolutely no intention of eating, standing and simply staring at me. I can’t stand staring at the best of times but when I am eating it infuriates me. Twice I stopped and stared him down and he moved off momentarily but then returned. On the third occasion he refused to be stared out, so I threw my arms wide and said loudly, “What??!” Big  mistake. It was interpreted as an invitation to plonk himself down at my table and start gibbering away. Ignoring him didn’t work and rolling my eyes at the staff simply elicited looks and gestures that roughly translated meant that if China had “care in the community” he would be in it. I tried a different tack (I didn’t want to be downright abusive in a packed restaurant, being one of only two Englishmen in the city I am not hard to spot) and when he tried again to engage me in conversation I said “mayo Putonghua” - I have no Mandarin - and when that didn’t work the next time I said “tipudong” - I don’t understand. That didn’t work either but a couple of minutes later I finished my food and lit a cigar, determined he would not drive me out - I still had over an hour before I was teaching and only had a quick shop to do.

That seemed to work because he left. Great I thought. Except he had only gone off to buy some cigarillos and return to offer me one! Give me strength. However, my outright refusal of his offer of what are basically brown Chinese cigarettes DID work because then he did clutter off and I watched amazed as he stood outside accosting passing men and trying to give them smokes. Not one accepted them so perhaps he is well known.

As a foreigner in China I think your ears become accustomed to detecting the word “laowei” regardless of how softly it is whispered. After a few more minutes I didn’t need this ability, for unbelievably I heard a small girl who was leaving the restaurant with her extended family shouting at the top of her voice, “Laowei! Laowei! Laowei!” and turned to see her jumping up and down and pointing excitedly in my direction. After the day I had had up to that point I simply gave a world-weary smile at the little girl but when I spotted that at least her parents had the decency to look a little discomfited, I broke into a genuine grin. In fact the little girl was made up when she looked through the window after they left and I waved nicely to her.

After all that, nothing went wrong and even a class of unruly kids didn’t faze me - I didn’t have to beat any to death (in the news today two young boys did in fact have that happen at a primary school somewhere in China yesterday when a teacher lost their temper) and I made my way home.

Kiki still doesn’t know when she is coming back (although it should be soon) but Qing told me it will be Tuesday or Wednesday. I am really looking forward to seeing her again even though it means tomorrow afternoon I need to do tons of housework. This morning I already made a start with the broom but tomorrow the mop has to come out - not a job I enjoy.

Thursday 28th March, 2013       1135

It’s certainly a challenge trying to cook here when you are teaching. The dough for the garlic bread went on first thing at 0630 yesterday, baguettes were baked at lunchtime and the mince browned. Later I started the finishing touches and when the chilli was simmering nicely I tasted it. And regretted it.

It nearly took my head off. I didn’t understand why at first because I hadn’t been too heavy handed with the chilli flakes and so I attributed the unusually high placing on the Scoville scale to the evil looking small red chillis I had bought. I was really worried it would be inedible (except maybe to the Chinese students) and so added what little milk I had to the pot. I apologised to all the diners in advance, fearing the worst. Chilli is a most odd dish in my experience. You can pre-taste it and it is mild but by the time you serve it it has spiced up a fair bit, if you freeze some for another day that lot is always hotter and on this occasion it actually cooled down! Granted it was still only just on the good side of “brutal” but everyone ate it all barring my student, who I suspect simply didn’t find it to her taste rather than it being anything to do with the spice.

They all loved the garlic bread and, as Chinese students normally do, asked if they could take some for their roommates. Included in the doggy bags were of course pancakes cooked by Ollivier’s student Flavie (wearing the black and white top) and his bread biscuits. Kevin invited Susan (green jacket) and my “date” was Sally (grey top). It was a really nice evening marred only by a nagging feeling I was falling ill.

And boy, did I feel terrible this morning! Bunged up, sore throat, the lot. It was so tempting to call in sick but I didn’t. Were I capable I would have slept after the early class but even then I think I would have woken up feeling just as bad all over again. I am really not looking forward to my four afternoon lessons and can only hope I feel better tomorrow for Lottie’s trip to the vet.

2000

God but I struggled through this afternoon!

My consolation is an hour and a half at work tomorrow and the little school unusually (and equally unusually for me I don’t mind) want me to do one class Saturday mid-afternoon and one class Sunday morning. The weather is set fair so although I will spend more time on the bike at the weekend than teaching I will be able to lunch downtown twice. Not only that, with Yvonne and Coco coming for pizza tomorrow night I won’t need to abbreviate proceedings as I can stay in bed as long as I like.

Tonight, although I have spuds and things in stock, I feel too awful to bother cooking so once Pepsi has been fed (the cats won’t eat a pig bone, they forget they were feral and are now fussy) and I take her out for the last time tonight, I am having dan chow fan - or egg fried rice to everyone else. I am not keen on it but with some Thai sweet chilli sauce on it I may just enjoy it!

Have a nice Easter everyone - not a chocolate egg in sight here.

Sunday 24th March, 2013            1630

We got yesterday’s rain today. The ride in was damp this morning and it (typically) only stopped about half an hour after I got back. Better than half a fathom of snow in the UK I suppose!

I was down for 4 classes today but the owner came to me mid-morning and said the final class in the afternoon “might” have to be cancelled. I never gave him a chance, immediately I said “great!” Considering I finished the morning at 1150 and the solitary afternoon one didn’t start until 1450 I hadn’t been looking forward to nearly three hours kicking my heels, not to mention that Pepsi would have been indoors for eight hours or so. I have to say she is now really good at hanging on but considering she has taken to waking me at six each morning to go out I didn’t want to push it. Lunch followed by shopping and then homeward laden with the makings of a chilli for Wednesday plus dog biscuits and flour (I had to buy a 2.5kg plastic bag as a 5kg cloth bag would have got wet).

I have been out for an hour or so but am now home for the duration. This morning I found Lottie’s bloodstained gauze pad on my pillow after my shower so just now I cut the remains of her body stocking off. She doesn’t seem to be worrying the wound, it is healing nicely and anyway she had bitten most of it off anyway.

While I was at the campus shops I witnessed what must be one of the worst ever examples of fashion crime. There was a girl who was no oil painting to start with wearing short black boots, brown jeans, blue jean jacket and a tangerine fedora. Quite aside from her lack of any colour sense I only realised the hat was a fedora after she passed by - the dimples were at the back and she was wearing it back to front! I wonder if her friends will tell her.

Due to the aforementioned community service, tomorrow holds no terrors. I have confirmed I just have one class after lunch, Tuesday off and a ten o’clock finish on Friday. That’s the sort of unexpected good news I like. I have “spoken” to Kiki and Qing, the former is not sure when exactly she will pop back for a visit but a week Monday or Tuesday should see me with Qing’s company again - I had better use some of my new-found time off to get my house in order!

Tuesday 27th      1000

Well I don’t know where yesterday went! At some point over the weekend, I forgot to mention, I did my laundry. In itself it is not worth comment but this time the machine threw up an alarm. On checking I saw there was very little water in it, so made sure the water was still running in the flat. it was and I thought either the filler tap was broken (unlikely because it is permanently on and I never touch it) or the filler hose was blocked. I disconnected it from the machine but struggled to get it off the tap itself. The threaded cap which screws onto the tap was so brittle it shattered and as a result I now need a new connector. Rather than making arrangements for a maintenance visit and probably having to stay in for hours waiting I am trying to be able to leave the hose and couplings with the supervisor so the chap can come and fix it any time he likes. Not easy seeing as Cinny will need to co-ordinate with both of them. Anyway, the point of my mentioning this is because I found the tap had good water pressure and deduced either the pipe had a blockage or the machine did. To test the hose was a simple matter of blowing down it as hard as I could. Thankfully I don’t have as much breath as I did thirty years ago, for having done something quite common in children’s cartoons by forgetting where the other end was pointing, I ended up soaking my front as I expelled all the remaining water. The problem turned out to be a bunged up filter in the machine itself. Hopefully the next time I want to do my washing I won’t have to pour buckets of water into it!

We are having another western Wednesday this week, a chilli, but at present I am struggling to get a “date” as my first choices have evening lessons. At lunchtime I will go to the shops and lie in wait, hopefully I will be able to  spot and snare one of my students who is otherwise free. On Friday I hope to cook pizza for Yvonne and Coco and use Kevin’s room to eat in while he is downtown. Yvonne has never tasted pizza and sadly she and Coco are the ones who have night classes so for the rest of this term at least, I won‘t be able to invite either of them. It will be cheap after a fashion because I already have all the ingredients in stock bar a pineapple and this Friday I finish at ten. All I need to do is take baby puss to have the stitches out and I will have all afternoon to prepare dinner.

Pepsi still looks a trifle motheaten but at least now the “green shoots of recovery” are sprouting up. She is also starting to get a little braver (at home anyway) as she now barks when anyone other than me approaches the door. I say a little braver because as soon as she has barked she then as always dives under my desk for shelter. Outside she is still a quivering jelly except during the night outing before bedtime when there is nobody about, then she has a good old sniff everywhere. Her “safe zone” appears to be confined to the area adjacent to our block but only one side of it. The other day I tried to coax her - off the lead - to actually circumnavigate the block but she panicked at the edge of her territory a legged it back upstairs!
‘
Enough waffling for now, I am going to enjoy a leisurely day and hope everyone else enjoys theirs.

Friday 22nd March, 2013           1830

A busy old day as it turned out. A full morning of classes during which I was partially successful in rescheduling them for two weeks time. We have the Qingming festival coming up on the 4th April but the school; as they invariably do; made a one day into a three day holiday. Actually it is nothing of the kind, it is still a one day holiday but we have the 4th, 5th and 6th off. Considering the 4th is a public holiday, the 5th is a Friday and the 6th is Saturday which we get off anyway and we have to teach Friday’s classes on Sunday, effectively it is still one day off. I thought if the Friday classes could move all their lessons for that day to earlier in the week they could enjoy a 4 day break instead. The first class is happy (it will mean I will have 8 lessons on the Monday though!) and the second class agreed as long as the other teacher they get also agrees.

I took Pepsi for her final set of injections at lunchtime and whilst there grabbed a bite and did some shopping. I still have more to do because with her aboard I am limited to using just the top box for carrying, whereas if I am alone I can use the floor pan. Important things for tomorrow are two big bags, one of flour and the other of dog biscuits. They are still forecasting rain for tomorrow but each time I look the amount of water has gone down. I am hoping it won’t rain at all and they will stick to the all day blackout scheduled, if it rains it will be postponed - doubtless to a day I will be on campus for most of.

I got a surprise call from Rinka an hour ago. She has returned from Shanghai to take the TEM8 exam tomorrow. Instead of giving us notice she wanted to surprise us and treat us to dinner but sadly the surprise is hers. Kevin is teaching tonight and because of the workload tomorrow there is no way I can even contemplate going downtown tonight. We have though made arrangements for her to treat me (and maybe Kevin) to lunch tomorrow before she goes back.

I also had a bit of good news this morning. My second class informed me they have no lessons next week as they are carrying out “community service” which basically consists of weeding and picking up stones from the grassed areas of campus. Not only that, three of my other classes are doing likewise. Great - I will have a week where I teach the same amount as Kevin and if I read my rota correctly I don’t have to get up early on Monday and I have Tuesday off. Whoopee!

Saturday 23rd         1800

I am seriously tired now. Flipping kids take so much more out of you than adult uni students. Rinka came to the school after she finished her exam but she cocked it up because her plan was to take both Kevin and I to “Popo Fish” for lunch. As the name implies, it is a fish hotpot restaurant I have been to before and a stones throw from that school. The problem was, she forgot she had also promised the school owner’s wife she would have lunch with her! Lily (the wife) is heavily pregnant with their first - and probably only - child and made a real effort to cook loads of food in school.

So we ended up with Kevin and me thinking we were going to a restaurant and the owners thinking we were having a “school dinner”. In fairness, I did suggest perhaps we should eat in because of the effort Lily had put in and privately I also thought that with her being late and with only 80 minutes left until my afternoon class, a restaurant lunch may have been a bit rushed for me at least. As it happened, although I know Kevin wasn’t best pleased, the food was very nice - well at least the three dishes I tucked heartily into were, dumplings, prawns and pork!

When I finished it was raining but my prayers had after all been answered. It was dry when I left this morning so the power maintenance went ahead on schedule and they restored the supply at about three so I never even noticed it was off. Thank you chaps!

I may possibly have accrued an inordinately busy month or so ahead. Both Kiki and Qing should be back in a week or two - Kiki just for a couple of days but Qing said she may stay with me (and risk being barren!) for a couple of weeks - and my friend Steve from the Hilton is coming hopefully for the weekend 4/5 May. I am going to need those little holidays coming up.

Tuesday 19th March, 2013           1745

My luck was true to form today. Halfway to town it started raining and continued until five minutes before I had to leave home afterwards for my afternoon class. I had no option but to make the trip because I had no meat for the animals at all. I managed to fit in lunch at KBW as well but was disappointed to find JinJun is having a rare day off.

My class was fine until we started the newspaper headline game part-way through the second lesson. Despite my constant admonishments that cheating is not clever and it spoils what is supposed to be a fun activity I still get students scouring the internet on their phones for the answers and I caught a girl in group 6 doing just that during the second question. Needless to say, her phone spent the rest of the lesson on my lectern but unbelievably they got the answer (tomato) spot on. Needless to say I never gave them the points but if they had any nous at all they would have answered with another vegetable or a fruit, in which case they would have either got full or half points for being close.

The last question I had time for before the bell went was Fat Cat ******* To Lose Weight. I was astonished that five of the six groups answered “swims” correctly and said that it must have been in Chinese newspapers recently. I was treated to a lesson of my own. I had forgotten to erase the board in one of Monday’s classrooms and they had been the next class in, seen it and twigged what it was. It also speaks volumes about the only group not to get it right!

After what I said yesterday, today I received a text from the kids school as I arrived for my class. It said he would send me more details about the weekend in an email tomorrow so I replied “ok” thinking he hadn‘t had time to  send any info. Only after I had sent what would now appear to him as acquiescence did I notice I had another text which must have arrived when I was riding to class and I never heard the tone. Good God - he says I have 5 lessons Saturday and 4 Sunday!!! Realising in effect I had unwittingly just agreed to this madness I feel unable to now cry off. Mind you, if he wants to do this one weekend a month I would be happy. As it happens I have just seen on the uni website there will be a power and water blackout l0830-1730 on Saturday so probably best I am elsewhere that day anyway.

Wednesday 20th               1930

Another miserable day, one which was at least supposed to be dry but wasn’t. And sodding cold too - I had to put my winter jacket on again.

I won’t be posting this tonight as there is little else to say about today other than in my afternoon class, during the activity/game I ended up confiscating 6 mobile phones and a tablet from students who think there is nothing wrong with cheating - even in a game. Try as I might I am wasting my time with many of them in trying to instil principles. This is how vets who never really qualified can diagnose constipation 15 minutes before a bitch starts to whelp and I ask them if they would be happy to have their heart operated on by a doctor who they knew had manufactured his qualifications with a computer and printer. All to no avail I am afraid, and presumably they wonder why the west view most Chinese degrees as being inferior. I can’t change the mentality but if I can get the odd student to heed (as Tutu to her credit did) then that’s the best I can hope for. It does sadden me though.

Thursday 21st      2100

Shattered. A horrible day teaching 6 lessons and all of them business with the most useless course book imaginable. I don’t use the book per se, I simply use my own experience and expound on the topics given. I mean, what possible use are units entitled “dining with customers”, “houses and flats” and so forth to people who have no intention of going into business and simply have this foisted upon them? I am not the only one who hates trying to teach it, in fact I think when I get some time I may try to create my own syllabus of pertinent (instead of irrelevant) business English. I will have to do half this term with my own invented lessons anyway as there is only so long you can waffle on about “first day at the office”!

Weather-wise a nice day today and as I mentioned I think I hope it will be similar tomorrow for my foray with the pup - who incidentally becomes an adult in less than three weeks. Hard to believe it is nearly a year since I stayed up all night and watched her being born.

Nothing much more to report but I am posting this in case anyone thinks my internet absence is suspicious and contacts Interpol. It may be some days before the next one, given my schedule coming up.

Sunday 17th March, 2013           2000

One word would sum up today. Miserable. Constant rain which became heavy at about five. Rather fitting really seeing as this idiot sat up and watched appalled as England were taken apart by a Welsh team that should all be locked in The Tower and then compounded his error by watching France actually win a game. I did however draw some comfort from the fact the Italians claimed a scalp (I admire them for persevering all these years as the losers) and the fact that even by beating Scotland, France still got the wooden spoon. At least I have something to throw back at a certain person from Marseille if he says anything!

Actually, he had better not say anything seeing as I along with another have just done him a favour. We were chatting a couple of nights ago when he mentioned he would go to Shandong province in a fortnight by train to collect his wife (who has been living with her parents since he came here) and their newborn son Hadrian plus the in-laws old car now they have bought a new one. They are leaving the slightly older son with the grandparents for a couple of months longer. He was bemoaning the fact that the drive back is 1,000km (625 miles) and the fact it would be difficult to do in one day with a baby. It would be difficult anyway but in China for 625 miles translate that to at least 1,000 miles in a country with decent roads.

As he is travelling down on a Friday and returning Saturday I pointed out the obvious, that he should break the journey and have a rest before coming back on Sunday. He agreed but commented that it would be better if he had a friend as I do who runs the Hilton in Hefei. Needless to say I begged a favour and all three can stay gratis with my mate, which was very kind of him to agree to. Having said that, the plan is for my friend to visit our little backwater on 27th April which will mean Ollivier will also be obliged to chip in when we ensure that he doesn’t pay for any food or drink during his weekend stay. The date is subject to confirmation at this end because with the Mayday holiday shortly after I need to ascertain whether the school has extended the holiday and we will have to play catch up with lessons that weekend.

Monday 18th         2030

Today started chilly and overcast so I thought I would have to shelve Pepsi’s vet trip but by noon it cleared and became sunny, so when I finished at three off we went, hot on the heels of Katrina who took the bus with a roommate to collect Lottie. She had 500y to pay the bill but of course with the “complications” the price rose to 700y. I wasn’t happy but I trust this chap not to rip me off. After Pepsi was injected thrice and had yet more gunk applied I left even poorer, having had a text from Katrina saying her building jobsworth supervisor had told her Lottie could stay in her dormitory for a maximum of one hour.

As she was in a cage I told Katrina to tell the supervisor it was my cat and if she was evicted if I couldn’t get back in time I would make a complaint to the Chancellor. It seemed to work.

When I arrived and she was brought out I thought Lottie’s entire torso had been shaved for the operation. It was only when I got home and freed her that I saw  it was a body stocking - quite a good idea and obviously to stop her licking or worrying the stitches. She seems none the worse and in fact is now allowing me to stroke her instead of - as previously - fleeing in terror when I approach.

Now I am hoping it will still be dry tomorrow morning. I need pet meat and as I only have one class in the afternoon my plan is to go in the morning. We have rain forecast from late morning but as all the predictions are based on Anqing it usually lags by a few hours so I may get away with it.

The flaming kids school owner informed me happily he has “filled me up for both this coming Saturday and Sunday. Quite what he means I will find out when he emails me tomorrow but he had better not have packed my entire weekend or he will be disappointed. He also asked if I had any students graduating soon as he will need a new teacher in May. I suggested Kiki because she is teaching now and when I asked her she said she would be happy to start next semester. I then asked the owner if he would take her, in which case I would ask if she could come earlier from Beijing where she is teaching now. The answer was that an interview was necessary (even though he has met her when she was with me) so he has been told flatly that I have no intention of dragging her all the way back on the off chance. He has delusions that he is running a top flight university instead of a small private school that has to recruit students every term.

Saturday 16th March, 2013       1610

Why do the forecasters inevitably get it right here when it is going to be bad, the swines? A thoroughly miserable day on which it hasn’t stopped raining yet and it is supposed to remain so throughout tomorrow. I do find some solace in that it is what I call English rain - normal as opposed to the monsoon stuff we often get.

All thoughts of venturing far afield vanished on peeking out of the window I must say and although I have been to the campus shops the only time I will set foot outside again will be later with Pepsi for her calls of nature.

By two thirty there was no news from Katrina so I exchanged messages with her. She ended up calling the vet to ask what was going on and was told to pick Lottie up on Monday because although she is fine she needed transfusing. Were I in England I would automatically think blood, but given their propensity for simply pumping salt water into bodies here I assume she was deemed to be dehydrated. I only hope the price of 500y was an all-inclusive one. If Monday is fine I will take the pooch to the vet for more jabs so at least I can give my student a lift there, if not back again.

When I was standing by a table an under its umbrella one of my students from the deadhead class I taught, Joy, when I first arrived (and has now returned for further study after graduation) was walking by, saw me and almost skipped over to where I was standing. She gaily informed me that now she doesn’t have to be a teacher as she has secured a position in a bank in Hefei with a good salary. She is going to Hefei tomorrow for a “body exam” (for this read medical) and if she passes - which she will - she will soon start what to her is an exciting career. Somehow, after our chat the rain seemed unimportant and I was left smiling broadly.

I am looking forward to the rugby tonight and will of course be rooting for our grand slam but equally I really want the Scots to beat France (or indeed Italy to beat Ireland or both) so the French get the wooden spoon. I think I will struggle to stay awake for the England match which starts at 0100 my time let alone the France game which kicks off at 0400 though.

I was pondering on what to eat tonight seeing as I have no intention of going out and accordingly bought onion, tomato and pepper which I hope to fry with bacon then combine with pasta and chilli sauce. God knows if it will work but I will give it a try. I could have baked a loaf and had a bacon sandwich but I really should pay more attention to ingesting vegetables a little more.

1800

So much for not going out again. No sooner had I finished the above than my phone rang. It was Joanna telling me she had collected one of my parcels, the cheddar. Heck that was quick - she only ordered my things yesterday afternoon. She was outside her dormitory block having collected it and had rather kindly paid the 2y fee to the students. I told her yesterday I don’t expect her to do that, all she has to do is text me and I will go. I countered her protest that sometimes the stuff might be hers by saying if it is I will bring it to her. She is doing enough for me by doing my ordering.

Anyway, as it was only a hundred yards to walk I did in fact use my legs, only to find that in the interim she had received word two more items had arrived. So we walked together to get them (with me wishing I had after all taken the bike) and found my baked beans had come along with the 40kgs of cat litter. There was no way I was taking them, so I paid my usual 10y for them to bring it to my door and we both got a lift in the van for our trouble. Unbelievably, despite my getting her to tell them that the two sacks contained two 10kg bags and they could open them to make it more manageable, the young lad hefted all 40kgs up to my third floor home. Thirty years ago I could have done that but now one would be all I could reasonably manage!

Three minutes after the chap left Joanna sent me a message saying yet another item had just arrived at the same place. I believe it was there when we went and they just didn’t spot it so as I don’t want to go again it is being held over for tomorrow.

So that’s me. Liver on for the furry ones, my pasta to cook afterwards and four hours to wait for the rugby fest.

Thursday 14th March, 2013            1930

Right as rain yesterday, after the meal I took Pepsi out for a last tinkle, came back and finished my blog and then retired. Admittedly as I was posting the blog I did notice some very slight pain in my lumbar region but thought nothing of it.

I woke up in the small hours needing a nocturnal visit to the toilet, tried to get out of bed and found myself in agony! I managed to get myself out and up, tottered to the bathroom, fumbled my way back and went back to sleep. When the alarm went off it was even worse. For the first time here apart from my little holiday in number one peoples hospital I was within a whisker of calling in sick. I could hardly do anything. In all my life I have never, ever, had a problem with my back other than the fact it gets infuriatingly itchy in Chinese winters for some inexplicable reason. And here I was unable to even contemplate taking a shower.

Even sitting in a chair was agony so I took a couple of my cocaine painkillers (next step up is morphine) and waited. And waited. An hour later I took the dog out to relieve herself and of course as she won’t go down stairs if it hadn’t been so excruciating it would have been funny. Picking her up entailed a pantomime with me hanging on to a balcony windowsill in order to bend low enough to get a hand under her. When I got back I was still undecided as to whether I should simply cry off but the analgaesic started to ease things just a little. How I got through my worst day of the week I know not, equally I have no inkling as to what is wrong. I don’t think it is the same as a cricked neck from sleeping badly and I did nothing more strenuous yesterday than carry a shepherds pie. It has eased a bit but I have just taken diclofenac and will take more pain relief before I turn in - I just hope it is something which will simply disappear in a day or two. After all, who wants a bad back? Nobody believes you!

Today was bright and sunny but despite appearances when looking out of my window, once outside it was deceptive to put it mildly. There was an icy wind blowing which cut right through my clothes, making me wish I had put on the down coat instead and taken some gloves. Roll on the warm weather, I have now decided I would much rather sweat than shiver.

After I finished at five I took the mutt to the shops, bought my shopping and being thoroughly tired decided to have two pijou and then go home for the rest of the evening. Linda spotted me sitting at an outside table, went and ordered her dinner of noodles with something and then came to chat. She had a special request in that if I make it to the UK this year she wants me to bring her a gift back. She said even if it cost “even only one dollar” she wanted something that was made in England. I asked her why and was amused when she complained whenever she goes shopping - be it in shops or markets - everything she picks up is made in China! I never had the heart to tell it was more or less the same in England!

Friday 15th         2300

I must say I was glad not only to finish my week here at noon but also at the news that the little school doesn’t need me again this weekend. Apparently they are trying a new teaching style and presumably I may get in the way - or alternatively the ideas my brains were picked for at the last meal have been implemented by the other teachers. If the latter then I have no problem because I would really like to free up my weekends this term, I have more than enough work during the week.

As for my back, it was markedly better this morning. Still a little sore but whatever it was is probably one of these short-lived glitches I seem to acquire randomly and which are probably attributable to advancing years.

As it was a nice day I did Katrina a favour and took Lottie to the vet so all she has to do is collect her tomorrow. I didn’t need a horn on the bike for that trip, I think even the truck drivers could hear me coming with all the screeching emanating from the cage! I combined that with lunch and sticking the money on Joanna’s card for my shopping and returned by three. I even managed an hour’s siesta before the English corner.

The concert/corner was ok but it did rather drag on because they didn’t know when they had flogged a game or activity further than they should. I apportion no blame because it is the first time this particular class have staged a production but hopefully they will learn from it. Sadly I omitted to take my camera, however at a later stage I may be able to get some pictures sent to me by one of my students.

My mother managed to interrupt twice during proceedings, once when I was taking part in a game of “blow the candles out using English words” (I recommend words starting with P) which call I ignored, the second time in the middle of the closing photocall. She had called to remind me about the RBS matches and as a result whilst having a post-concert beer with Ollivier he wondered why I kept looking at my watch. Thanks to her I was thinking it was Saturday and not Friday!

The weekend is set for rain allegedly but it would be nice if it was dry until tomorrow afternoon. I would like to take the dog for some more jabs and do a little shopping, but if it’s wet then I will postpone until Tuesday. Other than that I just want to recharge my own batteries.

Wednesday 13th March, 2013          1130

Just on a long break between classes so I am grabbing the chance to make a start on my Chinese version of shepherds pie for tonight’s western Wednesday. I will at least get the meat and veg mix into dishes, the washing up done and if I am lucky I might get the spuds peeled so when I finish this afternoon all I will have to do is mash them, slap them on top and cook them. As my bedtime is earlier these days I want to start earlier! Tonight another of my best Freshmen, Chris, is coming.

I went to town yesterday to take Pepsi for more shots and buy the ingredients. It was a lovely day, not warm enough that I could dispense with jumper and jacket but very pleasant nonetheless. I left the vet dog-sitting while I shopped and grabbed an early dinner. I also bought my monthly drug requirements (four lots for 44y) and would have put some money into Joanna’s account for her to pay for my online stuff except once again we weren’t paid on time. We were paid this morning instead but with my schedule there is no way I can think about going to the city again before Friday. I really wish they would be consistent. Mind you, if it’s a nice day on Friday I suppose I could take Lottie for an overnight stay before her operation - that would only leave Katrina the task of collecting her on Saturday afternoon. Then again I have that English corner/concert Friday night. Because the students are young they assume my energy levels are the same as theirs when really all I want to do after work is relax!

It has just stopped raining so hopefully that’s it for five days, hopefully more. In fact I am hoping the little school don’t need me again this weekend, I rather enjoyed having this weekend off doing nothing.

1215

Success! All that remains is for me to boil and mash the potatoes, top off the pies and slam them into Kevin and my ovens. I can cook liver for the pets at the same time, feed them just before the six of us eat and enjoy a nice relaxing dinner with nothing to do except quaff hong xho and take the dog out for a pee before bedtime.

You know how I often complain about the animals keeping me awake or waking me up? This morning was one such occasion. It wasn’t the cats this time, it was Pepsi. Now her mum used to stand near to me and shake her collar briskly to rouse me when she needed the loo, if that failed she would stick her snout in my face. Until recently Pepsi had done absolutely nothing of the sort and she either held on or I would wake up to find a puddle. At last she is starting to mature a little, for she paces up and down to let me know she needs to go and I can hear her claws hitting the stone flooring. Damned good job she did because when I looked at the clock it was six thirty and I forgot to set my alarm last night. Well done muttley!

2200

I think the meal was a success, certainly the students ate their pie although none asked for seconds. In fact I made so much (two batches) that even after Kevin and Ollivier pigged out there was still enough left so that we three have tomorrow’s dinner sorted as well. Fair play to Ollivier, he and his student Shiny rustled up pancakes before they came along with “biscuits” and he brought some cubes of flavoured cream cheese that were delicious. Additionally he brought the smelliest camembert I have ever encountered plus another two French cheeses (one blue) which I cannot name. In fairness the only thing missing was a bottle of port.

As usual my mothers CCTV was working perfectly because she called in between main course and pancakes so as to cause maximum disruption and for her pains had to chat with both Kevin and my student Chris. Chris is in grey, Shiny is next to her in the photos - she is Ollivier’s. Luna is Kevin’s and in the photo is next to Ollivier, whose country used to play passable rugby.

That’s it from me, bedtime as soon as I post this. Keep safe everyone.

Sunday 10th March, 2013         1600

How the hell can it be twenty-seven one day and then eleven the next? It’s bloody freezing! To top that last night’s thunderstorms have yet to put in an appearance. I went down to the shops for an hour a short time ago and just as I parked the bike under cover it started spitting but nothing more. Knowing my luck I will get drenched all day tomorrow going to and from classes and the hot day promised for Tuesday when I plan to take the mutt for more injections will conspire to be wet and cold and make me have to do it another day when I have a full day. I really can’t wait until we get the constant hot weather, even when it rains it isn’t so bad because at least you are still warm!

That’s me in for the rest of the day now, stuff standing around in a cold wind. In fact I am going to have an almost traditional Sunday roast tonight. It is a bit of a logistical nightmare of course because I can’t spit roast the chicken and do roast spuds at the same time as the bird will keep hitting them and I need to do mash. With only one heat source they need to be boiled and then left keeping warm in the water while I boil the vegetables. Maybe after the summer I may invest in another oven and hotplate.

Monday 11th       1800

It was always going to be a long day with lessons but today was more tiring than it should have been. It was nearly one before I hit the sack because I watched the England v Italy game. I had planned to call it a day at half time in the not unreasonable expectation that based on recent form we would be miles in front at that point and that the second half would simply be a formality. 12-3 and the way we were playing was not enough so I watched the lot and breathed a sigh of relief that at the death we never ended up with a draw.

Thankfully all three classes today including the 3 year students were active so it wasn’t too much of a chore. At lunchtime I decided to do some research and fill in the considerable gaps in my knowledge of Pepsi’s affliction. I discovered that near enough ALL dogs have the mite which causes mange living in their skin but normal healthy ones have a strong enough immune system for it not to bother them. Of those who do suffer they are mainly aged two years or under (Pepsi is a year old next month) - older dogs usually have another problem which weakens the immune system and causes them to get it. Now I can stop wondering where she keeps picking up the insects because she has had them all the time. We live and learn.

Joanna has been a brick today regarding my internet shopping. I sent her an email with the links to the items I want and she managed to organise it so that at least two items are coming from the same shop to save delivery costs. I had planned on 500y and was mildly pleased to find out the total is 440y. Tomorrow when I take Pepsi to the vet I will leave her there and if we have been paid on time (tomorrow is payday) I will put the money on her card together with 10y more for her trouble and the texts she sent - and will be doing to let me know when the items arrive. One of the items is 4 x 10kg bags of litter, 4 months worth, which should mean I will only need to buy 20kg more before the summer break to see me through until the start of the next academic year in September. I also have the standard things on order such as kidney and baked beans, cheddar, Bisto etc. On the basis that I might in fact make it to the UK for a break I have also started a little shopping list for that as well. One item on it is a new winter jacket. The down one is really warm but I need another for when it is simply “normally” cold. My Chinese one does look a bit “trampish” with the small tears which were inflicted when I went tobogganing without a sledge on the road two years ago so although I tell my students it is my lucky jacket I am sure some of them view me in the same light as I did some of my teachers who had threadbare corduroy jackets with leather elbow patches! That though won’t cost me a penny as I have Amazon survey vouchers to cover the cost. I do wish that I could use sterling vouchers in China though but Amazon make them country-specific. Another thing on my list is plastic and brush draught excluder, the sort you cut to suit and tack to the door - except here I will need it both top and bottom!

That’s it from here for now, nothing exciting since the overturned truck I’m afraid.

Saturday 9th March, 2013          1800

A glorious day for riding to town for lunch and doing some shopping. It wasn’t quite so enjoyable for someone else though.

At about one thirty on my way home I was taking the shortcut which passes the fish place near to campus when I saw an obstruction ahead. The shortcut is as I have said before a bumpy narrow dirt track, you can get a car down it (although I wouldn’t because of the wear on the suspension and the fact the low speed you would have to drive at would in fact make it a long cut). It took a second to register what I was seeing - a ballast truck on its side with the rear end resting in the stream running beside the track.

I must have missed the actual event by just a couple of minutes for the driver had managed to clamber up and out of his cab and was standing shaking, smoking a cigarette and talking to a few local farmers who must have rushed to see because they still had their hoes over their shoulders. After stopping and ascertaining he wasn’t hurt I carried on home. I had planned to take Pepsi out to the fish place anyway so I put the meat in the freezer and; before leaving with her got my camera. This was too good not to get a picture!

I hasten to add that I did apologise to the driver for my paparazza behaviour and as it was so warm today (27C) I used body language to ask if he wanted a drink - I would have fetched him a lemonade or a juice from the shop on the bike. He declined and it was only later I realised that by miming drinking with my hands he probably thought I was asking if he was pissed!

I have absolutely no idea what he was doing there in the first place or how he came to get in that situation. It was one of the blue ballast lorries that use the main road all the time and from appearances of what he spilt he was carrying limestone. It certainly turned the stream a milky colour and probably annoyed quite a few fish into the bargain. The track isn’t wide enough to turn a car around in it and the idea he may have skidded at low speed is completely implausible. I therefore think he was trying to take the shortcut, thought better of it (the track gets even narrower further on) and tried to do a thirty point turn - with catastrophic consequences. Quite what he said to his boss on the phone I have no idea but as I left after taking the snaps the guv’nor arrived.

I sat on my bike in the sun having a couple near the fish place and just as I was about to finish and leave the mobile crane arrived and reversed down the track, snapping branches off trees as it did so. Had this been in the UK the police would have blocked the road and turned people back telling them there was nothing to see even though there was. I wanted to watch so I did. In fact I stood at the side of the crane and took more pictures as the recovery progressed. It took just over half an hour from the arrival of the crane for the truck to be back on four wheels - minus cargo, door windows and a side mirror.

Of course I wasn’t laughing but I confess to enjoying a certain schadenfreude at all this. Those blue lorries are some of the biggest culprits at the traffic lights where our south road crosses the main road. If they see a red light they make no attempt to stop (because there are no cameras) and simply blare their horns to say don’t even think about moving on a green light as I am coming through. Once, before I realised they did this, I was very nearly annihilated so you may understand my deriving a modicum of pleasure from the afternoon’s events.

I also took a shot of a rather balding Pepsi although in case anyone thinks I am neglectful I did my best all through the holidays to combat it and she doesn’t have much fur at the best of times. I am taking her out to the campus shops now and hope to remember to get my camera from under the saddle so I can include my pictures with this later.

Friday 8th March, 2013                       1800

Absolutely shattered this morning. Had it not been for Pepsi I would have cheerfully come home at noon when I finished and crashed for two or three hours. However I had put it off long enough and today was so warm I rode there and back in short sleeves - long may it continue.

The visit to the vet was distressing to say the least. Not just because it cost me 260y (didn’t have enough on me so I owe him 15y for Tuesday when I take her back for more) for three jabs, more spray and some cream. Oh, and yes she did have a bath so although she doesn’t stink any more, when I pick her up I just get greasy cream all over my hands. Even the fact it is going to cost 500y for Lottie to be spayed which; whilst a blow; was not the worst thing.

No, the really distressing thing happened when I went in the entrance downstairs. There is a room where they keep unwanted dogs in, hoping to get them adopted. Currently there are four residents in cages including one rather fine (and loud) specimen of an Alsatian. I took a quick peek to make sure Robin was gone. I wouldn’t have wanted to know if she had been rehomed or put down, I just wanted her to be gone. She is still there. I can only hope she never realised who I was. It was only for a split second because as soon as I spotted her I ducked out of sight.

When I got upstairs the vet suggested (even though he doesn’t speak a word of English) that I go and say hello. Naturally I would have loved to but I refused. If she had seen me she would have thought I had come to rescue her. I can’t take her and to me, giving her false hope would have been extremely cruel. Nonetheless when I left Pepsi there for her shampoo and went to get lunch I was most despondent. I really do hope someone gives her a new home soon, preferably on a farm, because being cooped up all day with maybe two or three outings for a walk on the lead must be awful for an animal that is used to being a free spirit. Her own fault of course for biting people but it doesn’t lessen my melancholy.

With the vet having cleaned my wallet out, on the way back I went to a branch of my bank for make a withdrawal. Both outside cash points had no money so I tried the one inside. No money there either and no wonder there were huge queues at the two positions open. Sod that. I went to a “foreign” bank’s ATM near the sweet pork place to get cash, had a couple there and came back to the campus shops. There I had cause to complain that although my “office” - the bbq café - had now switched the drinks chiller on after the winter the only cold drinks were soft ones and the beers were warm. If they don’t rectify it then until they do they will lose my custom - I can buy warm ones in the supermarket.

However, whilst I sat there not enjoying boiled beer, I witnessed a perfect example of the Chinese “shoot first and ask questions later” mentality. This is something that is embraced throughout the land and includes the Gods in Beijing who often pass laws without thinking them through first.

One of the takeaway cafes has bought what appears to be a double oven range and they brought it back on an e-pickup. Three men hefted it off and deposited it outside the frontage of the takeaway. There then followed a pantomime that really should have been headed off at the pass before they bought the thing.

I found myself grinning hugely as one of the trio picked up a mop and used the handle and his thumb to compare the width of the entrance hatch to that of the range. It was obvious to anyone with the power of eyesight it was never going to go through and he proved it. There ensued much scratching of heads followed by the mop being brought into play again. Maybe they could lift it through the serving hatch? Nope.

Now I am denigrating the fact nobody had the foresight to take measurements first but now I really should pay tribute to the Chinese propensity for improvisation (or bodging). Within three minutes silicone sealant had been removed, as had screws, followed by the extraction of an entire window display cabinet. In went the range and the cabinet was replaced - although it appears as if the sealant will have to be applied at a later date. They most certainly are experts in the field of bodging!

I really am fading rapidly so tonight will be inordinately curtailed. The good thing I hope is that I will wake up early so I can go shopping in town, lunch and then have a siesta so I can stay awake and hopefully have fast enough internet to watch the rugby which is on late. Oh - nearly forgot - my last class of the week wanted to go outside so I took them. Many of the trees which have been planted are now in leaf but the tallest species they put in have all perished. So much so that they are so dry the trunks have snapped. I now have a three foot log in here as a horizontal scratching post for the cats and so far it has been well received!

Wednesday 6th March, 2013                1845

The weather today has been utterly lovely at 23C (so just maybe Friday will reach 26 as they say) although it seems as though it will bucket down on Sunday.

I had Joanna’s class first thing and a good job she saw me because I misread my notebook and was waiting outside 101 when in fact I was teaching in 301. 101 was this afternoon. When I finished at ten I decided to put my bag into 101 to save taking it home and bringing it back again. As there was a class there already waiting for a teacher instead of leaving my bag under the lectern I shoved it in a cupboard.

When I arrived this afternoon for class I observed with horror that it had since been padlocked. The doors are a little loose so I managed to peer in and ascertain my bag wasn’t there. I thought perhaps someone had put it in the cupboard above which by now was also locked. The problem was, that one didn’t have loose doors. I gave the doors a gentle tug to see if I could make a big enough gap to peek through and the hasp snapped. An even bigger problem was that my bag wasn’t there either. Imagine my feelings when on impulse I went and checked the cupboard in 201 and found my bag. Bloody idiot.

Mind you it wasted a few minutes, which I was glad of, because that class is appalling. Trying to get them to talk is like pulling hens teeth. I can see me having to read the riot act and if necessary giving a few shocks come the end of term exams. Three year students are the bane of my life.

Thursday 7th       1115

Another first today. When I woke up it dawned on me that all three classes today have to be taught the same business English lesson! When I start the last of them at 1530 it might be a struggle to deliver it with as much enthusiasm, especially as I do it again first thing tomorrow.

Great weather again today at 24C with two degrees higher reported tomorrow and a further increase of two for Saturday. Sunday is supposed to be heavy rain so I have told the little school if they want me it would be best if they picked the dry day.

I have little choice but to eat on campus tonight seeing as I have nothing that is appetising or satisfying in my home that doesn’t require much cooking, as I have the late finish and then an early start. Either that or I go for sweet pork but I do want to get a good nights sleep because I want to take the dog to the vet tomorrow - even if it’s just for a shampoo so she doesn’t hum any more. I am pretty sure she will be jabbed though. Next weekend I have told Katrina she must take Lottie to be spayed, leave her overnight and collect her the following day. I feel it is only fair seeing as it was she who begged me to take her in!

1930

I doubt very much I will like Thursdays for a while. At least, until the summer extended lunch break comes into force which would give me a four and a half hour break between my morning and afternoon classes. At least then I might have a fighting chance of grabbing a snooze if needed. It would help of course if I could stop waking up early, sometimes three o’clock, and then being unable to do anything other than catnap. Still, I had good news earlier. I can forget the thunderstorms which are supposed to come on Saturday night and last through until Monday morning, the little school doesn’t need me so as of noon tomorrow I am free for the weekend. I will probably take Pepsi as planned and leave her there for a wash and go and have lunch then come straight back and go solo to town on Saturday to do the food shopping. On Sunday from the look of things I may just have to batten down the hatches.

Kiki phoned me an hour ago to say hello and tell me she will be back soon for two or three days. She is most despondent with life at the moment. She is on an internship which of course doesn’t pay anything. That wouldn’t be so bad if she received bed and board but all she gets is a free lunch so other meals she is forking out for as well as a room. Additionally she failed the teachers exam, something which surprised me because in my view she will make a first rate teacher of young ones. She has the patience of a saint and is one of the calmest people I have ever known. Still, she says when the internship finishes she will try to find a school which pays enough for her to live and will reattempt the exam again next year.

As for me, time to wrap this up and feed myself - I decided on cheese on toast in the end - watch some TV and then make an effort at trying to be refreshed in the morning.

Monday 4th March, 2013        2030

No nasty surprises today with class sizes but just before lunch I had a little nice one. One of my freshman girls ran after me once the class had finished and stopped me to give me some “snakes”. She needs to work on her pronunciation of “snacks”. During the holidays her mother had baked some tidbits which are best described as a sort of Rice Krispy cake even though you don’t get that cereal here. They had peanuts in them and although they were really crunchy they were actually very nice. Very sweet of her to do that.

Actually I felt ok today because I went to bed early last night and slept reasonably well. Had I not I would probably have missed my first class. I was dozing on and off and just happened to look at the wall clock because I wondered how long I had left in bed only to notice it was a quarter to seven. Having set my phone to ring fifteen minutes before that I wasn’t best pleased. In fact the alarm would not have gone off until half past eight. Oh yes, I had set it correctly but my phone has developed an annoying habit of constantly beeping whilst on charge and telling me “bad contact at charger”. I got fed up with plugging and unplugging every two minutes last night and so removed the battery and charged it in a universal charger instead. I forgot I would need to reset the clock on the phone afterwards! Hopefully next time I will remember - with such a full schedule I really don’t want to be making up classes, do I?

I was also told I was to split my big class myself, something I rather wanted the school to do because as the main purpose was to separate the six (yes, six!) boys into manageable chunks I didn’t want it to be common knowledge. Thanks to Kevin - and I am ashamed I never thought of it - at his suggestion they are now split by student numbers, odd and even. Here the boys are all the first numbers and the girls follow. Very chauvinistic because if there is only one boy he is number one - but it worked in my favour because three boys are odd and three even. Job done, and if I see that any boys have exchanged with any girls come Thursday there will be hell to pay!  

21C today and the forecasters are predicting it will rise throughout the week to a crescendo of 26C on Friday. I swear they put any old rot on the internet to cheer people up, but if they are right then Friday afternoon is when Pepsi goes to the doctor and hopefully can be given a much needed bath.

Tuesday 5th        2015

Already buckling. No alarm this morning but I still woke up at seven, I thought I had left early morning starts behind when I opted out of the rat race! The problem was I got up simply because I knew if I managed to get back to sleep until late (unlikely) I would have problems tonight. There will be no such trouble this evening, I am buggered!

A gorgeous day at 22C so just maybe Friday will be 26 as promised - I hope so because I want to take Pepsi to the quack. My one class this afternoon was hard to kick-start but eventually they got going. To my disgust they voted against going out for lesson two because it was - get this - too hot! The only one in the room who removed their jacket was me! I had rather hoped to get them on the grass and coming up with skits about snakes seeing as it is the year of the snake but instead found myself having to think on the hoof of MR & Mrs questions. And no, I didn’t in the end prepare that at the weekend.

I did have something to cheer me up at lunchtime before I started work though. I received a text from a number I didn’t recognise, suspected who it was but just in case sent a reply to ask the person to identify themselves. I was right, yesterday Kiki emailed me to say she had lost her phone in Beijing and could she have my number again. This was her new number. For me at least it was great news, she will come back here next month, I assume to sit her exam to see if she can be a teacher and I can’t wait to see her again even if it is only for a day or two. When she was here all the time I only saw her maybe once a week on average apart from when she stayed in the holidays but now I do sorely miss just knowing she is nearby.

An hour ago I was sitting finishing a beer. I had drunk two and was leaving when Linda came and begged me to stay so I bought another. As I finished that one and was getting up Ollivier turned up. Another bottle then. I wondered how long it would take before the subject of western Wednesdays would be broached now that we have been working a full week. Yes I can do them (depending on Kevin’s schedule teaching kids downtown and which day) but regardless they will be starting as early as I can make them and I will be leaving them a lot earlier than previously! Anyway, until I get Joanna to do some internet shopping for me the only things I can make are Bolognese, pizza and lasagne. One day though I may just try to make my own burgers. I have no way of making chips but the roast potatoes the other night were terrific. As for tonight, shortly it will be poached eggs on toast - perfect antidote to the chilli last night!

Saturday 2nd March, 2013            1830

This going to bed early lark isn’t working! Maybe I should try going to sleep really late and then I might possibly be able to catch up in my breaks as the students do!

I still haven’t gotten used to how changeable the weather can be here. Lovely and warm Thursday, chucking down rain Friday and back to freezing today for my ride to town. I thought I had seen the last of my long johns for a while. On the way in I had a rather amusing traffic incident. Near to town there is a crossroads with traffic lights. The vast majority of cars turn right and here of course they can do so against the lights. There are three lanes, one each for turning left, going straight on or turning right. I go straight on.

Quite why China subjects learner drivers to a test is a mystery for surely once they pass they instantly disregard everything they learnt. I could see a car approaching in my mirror in the middle lane (for straight on) and in plenty of time positioned myself in said lane. The lights turned red and so I stopped. As I braked the car sounded its horn and came to a rapid stop close behind me and with the indicator blinking right. The driver had obviously intended to go wide of me and then cross my bow (could have been naughty had the lights been green) but now found himself too close to me to swing round. Doing what drivers here do without thinking, he simply sounded his horn continuously for me to move ahead and cross the stop line so he could then get into the lane he should have been in and make his turn. I never moved, which must have irked him a little and I was a shade disappointed that another car hadn’t arrived behind him to box him in, for he was in the end - after he realised I wasn’t budging - obliged to reverse first before altering course to starboard.

Two classes and finished just before twelve. Clearly the first day for many of the students because the entrance was populated by parents so I earnt my keep by simply showing up and justifying the higher fees charged as opposed to the schools who don’t boast a genuine laowei. Having had a chat with the owner at the meal last week regarding Chinese teachers sitting in my classes it would seem it will continue and I hope it does, I enjoy it far more when I don’t want to strangle the kids.

Lunch at KBW was busy but I managed to bag a table before getting my food by draping my coat over a seat. It didn’t have much effect though because a man plonked himself down while I was being served although when I got to the table I managed to move him to the opposite side. Unfortunately for me though said table was right next to the food queue. This rather turned me into something akin to a winning contestant on a Bruce Forsyth show where the conveyor belt brings prizes past and you have to remember them to win them. Pretty girl green coat, old man black jacket, cuddly kid etc only the difference is that the prizes gawp at you as they go past.  

Anyway I went to Lottemart afterwards and as planned bought some new trainers. Instead of going for the cheaper ones this time I splashed out. I couldn’t get black and so settled on khaki ones which resemble hiking boots priced at 379y. I had a result at the till because they were marked down to 310y and I simply hope they last twice as long as the sort I normally buy otherwise I will go back to cheapies. I didn’t buy much food because I don’t have freezer room but I did buy some spuds. I may just dine high off the hog on roast potatoes tomorrow if I can be bothered. Not much of a dinner perhaps but as I haven’t had any for thirty months if they turn out ok I will be quite content.

Sunday 3rd     1600

What a lovely day and the promise of more to come. Hopefully it will not be long before I can safely consign my coat and my jumpers to the wardrobe and not have to think twice about whether I can face riding to town. I have come to love the hot weather with the freedom it gives me to just ride out anywhere at any time.

Has the day been productive? Certainly not unless you count cleaning my oven so I can do my roast spuds. I also remembered I have two Chinese sausages - similar to Hungarian ones - hanging in a wardrobe, so I will cook them as well and if I like them I will eat them with the potatoes.

As for Stinky’s shower I have decided to give up on trying to cure her myself. Instead the plan is to bite the bullet and take her to town, probably on Tuesday, and let the vet give her a bath and start another course of injections. It will cost but she is my responsibility and although she is not actually suffering (I cleared up all the raw patches) she looks rather moth-eaten and threadbare. It’s bad enough that people must think I thrash her to within an inch of her life on a daily basis as she is so timid without compounding it with assuming I don’t look after her welfare - even if some of them would rather stir fry her than look after her.

So tomorrow is the start (and a brutal one at that) to my first full week of my extended timetable. Classes all the way through from 0820 to 1510. 2200 has now become the new midnight for me!

I had a call from the children’s school owner earlier. He was wrestling with a question in an example paper for an English exam for primary school children. It was a cloze question (yes, look it up - I never knew there was such a word until a year ago!) as follows:

They were good friends. They were very good w_____ kids.

I confess that hearing it over the phone left me stumped so I said I would get back to him. After a while, having toyed with “willing” and “well behaved” among others I realised they were too advanced for that level of student and eventually the light bulb above my head lit up with the answer. I sent it to him and received the reply that “they were very good with kids” didn’t make sense. Of course it wouldn’t to a non-native speaker probably but it fits perfectly!

Right, that’s it for now. I need to start dreaming up some Mr & Mrs type questions for my first activities starting on Tuesday. I also need to think about organising my internet food shopping list for Joanna to order. I won’t go mad because I am determined to save at least 1,000y this month but I like to keep a good supply of cat litter and the last of the summer’s cheese has gone decidedly dry - now that pineapples are here again I could do with a nice fresh block of cheddar.

Thursday 28th February, 2013           2030

I am all in. I can’t blame the animals this time unless I accuse them of hemming me in with the quilt, causing me to wake up soaking wet in the small hours. I got back off again after that (and booting them off the bed for a while) but although I turned in at ten thirty I still managed to wake at four. I peered at the clock hoping against hope that it wouldn’t say I had ten minutes left and was overjoyed to see I still had two and a half hours. Could I sleep? I could I hell. The outcome was of course that I have been exhausted all day.

I had one of my reclaimed classes this morning followed by the “new” class this afternoon, the one with Petty in. All bar fifteen of them have been my students previously but I nearly cried when I went into the room. There are 47 of them. In other circumstances I would have gone straight after the lesson to the dept secretary and had them split into two classes but not only do I already have ten classes, I still have a foreboding I have yet another big class to come either tomorrow or Monday. Once Monday is over I will know and have to do some soul searching. Can I handle yet another class, let alone a further one? I do know that 47 is far too big to even try hard to stop them talking amongst themselves or texting under the desk, not to mention unfair on those who want to learn because half my time would be spent wanting to throttle people. Watch this space.

Today though was as promised, lovely and warmish, so once I finished I rode to town to get it out of the way in case we do get heavy rain or snow tomorrow. And with a noon finish it is possible I will come home and try to catch up on sleep. I was gone just under two hours, enough to collect my cigars, pet meat and grab an early dinner of fried chicken and chips (or French fries as the piddling little things are known) and I made it back by five.

I took Pepsi out to the sweet pork place and afterwards to the campus shops. She is really starting to hum now, so mange or not I am seriously considering shampooing her on Sunday. I don’t know if I am winning the battle with her skin but I have an awful feeling this is going to cost money ultimately. I could understand if she was a dog which was out all day but she isn’t and she has no contact with other dogs - if one comes close she just snarls to tell them to clear off. I suppose I should be thankful she isn’t like her mum, biting people and scaring them into crashing their bikes!

That’s all for now, I am going to watch some TV and be in bed early again. Just maybe I can sleep all the way through tonight…….

Friday 1st March                      1800

Still no nearer to eradicating the sleep deprivation. And today has been vile - in complete contrast to yesterday it has been freezing and wet. Being the only day of the week now where not only do I start first thing but actually finish for noon I did consider taking a decent nap this afternoon but decided against, seeing as I found out I need to be up for seven tomorrow. I just knew if I had a siesta I wouldn’t sleep tonight so instead I am aiming for another early finish. At least I will be in town, can shop and lunch and hopefully buy some trainers that will last me more than a few months. The problem is I consider “old” people - and I count myself among that number - who wear white or brightly coloured ones as being ridiculous. I always go for black or very dark blue and they are somewhat hard to come across in this neck of the woods. Hopefully tomorrow I will be successful.

I asked Cinny to find out my class sizes for Monday and I was told they will not be big, so I have asked that yesterdays big class be split - in particular the group of boys who sat at the back and kept chatting amongst themselves. If they aren’t interested in the class then I can’t force them to come but if they do come the least they can do is respect my rules. So now I have gone from 8 classes/16 lessons to 10 classes/20 lessons and finally 11 classes/22 lessons. I must be mad. Cinny thinks I am superman (I’m not and I will be shattered for the next few months) but I did say to her that the school had better not think they can do it to me for no extra money if it wasn’t me who asked for the extra!

Somehow I think Western Wednesdays will be thin on the ground this semester.

Sunday? If I do anything at all besides relaxing it will just be giving Pepsi a bath!