Tuesday 31st May, 2016 1835
There’s nothing like a good tragedy as long as it’s not your own. The saga continues.
Yesterday morning I found out that the university in Suzhou had basically withdrawn the job offer. Not because they didn’t want me but because their pet insurance company wouldn’t cover me for what is basically one trivial and perfectly normal “problem” - the palpitations. Not one doctor ever has said it needs treating, including the specialist I saw at the weekend after the 24 hour monitoring. But then underwriters know better than the medical profession.
Everywhere I searched, doctor after doctor states that the heart beats 100,000 times a day and unless the PVCs reach 20,000 or 20% then no intervention is usually required. From what I could glean from the printout, mine run at 1.5%. I spent last night in the slough of despond, desperately thinking of solutions, one of which was to take out my own cover with a western firm but the problem with that is that they offer the best of everything - private rooms, big city hospitals etc. and it is of course tailored for the expat earning western wages, not a lowly teacher on Chinese money.
I really thought I was going to have to try looking elsewhere in Asia for work - I only need 6 more years for Christ’s sake - when Jenna from the agency (she has been great) said there was another school in Changzhou, Jiangsu province that she would like me to interview with. Said interview will take place on Thursday because I am busy with classes tomorrow. However another spanner was thrown into the works. Qualifications now need to be notarised. Thirty-eight years I have had it, do they really think I forged it all those years ago?? Now I need to take a trip to Hefei to get that done although how they will verify it given that the government department that issued it has had several name changes since, is anyone’s guess.
My only gripe with the conditions is that the kitchen is shared between two teachers. Private everything else but I no more relish sharing a kitchen than I would a bathroom. However, they inform me that the other foreign teacher does no cooking at all so if that’s the case then fine because it is a BIG kitchen. I could have fun in there!
Yet again the film makers wanted the foreigners today but they were out of luck. I was the only one willing and able. Richard was making up the classes he missed last week because of the filming, Juliette is crippled because she injured herself doing tai chi this morning (how on earth do you hurt yourself doing what is basically slow-motion kung fu????) and Andrei was off to get pain relief for her and sort out his motorbike which won’t start and has no charge.
I thought they would cancel it but no, they sent a car to get me. They were on location in England World today. It’s basically a load of new apartments/shops that are empty but the ground floor doors and windows have murals on them of faux English coffee shops, a gym, bars etc. it took me ages to learn my lines (and instead of the foreigners they had roped in the crew as extras) and the afternoon was spent filming probably 8 seconds. Just people walking around outside and I had to walk past the blind boy and say “Good afternoon”. That was it. Ok they had to take it from different angles but we got away with nine takes in all. Then the producer (who speaks a little English) told me “work over”.
I would have been happy to have just been given a lift to the station so I could get a bus home but they insisted on a car with another of the crew as passenger. It was then the thought occurred to me that I might be being kidnapped, either that or the other chap wanted a lift to the hotel as we went in the opposite direction.
On the contrary, we were taken to Green Town/World or something like that, which is a new development of gated luxury flats. I thought maybe the producer had meant to say scene over and went into the block. As it was by now 30C I was happy to encounter central air conditioning in the building I can tell you. The convoy (bus, truck, van and cars) arrived after us but before the producer arrived the early arrivals in the crew shepherded me into one of the four en suite bedrooms of the show home.
Now I had noticed earlier that there was a very attractive girl I never saw last week - lovely set of pins on show too. As I entered the bedroom there she was, waiting for me on the bed and looking ravishing. My heart started to misfire even more than it normally has of late and I wondered if I was this time to play the Pervy Professor! I have to say, even with a crew and cameras I reckon I would have given it a good shot!
Then when I walked further in I saw the blind boy also on the bed.
Was I going to catch them in fragrante delicto? I had to sit between them, still no producer, and the big furry mic was boomed over us. The other two said “Good afternoon” and then they gestured to me! Whoa! Hold on! Nobody has told me what I’m supposed to do!
Eventually the penny dropped. I had been taken there for one reason only. All three of us had the same line outside and the sound quality wasn’t up to scratch, after all there were roadworks not far away. And then it was over, except they forgot about me for 20 minutes, sitting alone in the bedroom so as not to spoil any shots! I almost laid down and had a kip!
Tuesday, 31 May 2016
Sunday, 29 May 2016
Sunday 29th May, 2016 1900
This has been one hell of a week.
On Saturday Joan came with me to the hospital. It was raining again and yet again I forgot to take my new umbrella, as I type it has still to be used.
The monitor was removed and we had to wait half an hour for the printout. Most of it is in Chinese but I did manage to decipher some parts, in particular where it showed my ticker doesn’t sit permanently on overspeed even when awake.
The cardiologist didn’t seem alarmed and even commented to Joan that everyone gets palpitations, something I have been repeating over and over lately. As she started writing down what new drug to buy I felt it prudent to list everything I already took in case there were contraindications. Apparently not and so for blood pressure alone I will now be taking aspirin, alpha AND beta blockers plus ACE inhibitors. The agency seems to think I won’t have a problem on the work front and I sincerely hope the girl is right.
Afterwards we went tp a chemist to buy the medicines, one of which was 22y for 3 days supply of a traditional Chinese medicine. That’s 220y a month I will not be spending! I bought 22y worth just to show willing but I will stick to tried and tested western drugs - they work! Then it was a quick lunch before I headed off to the supermarket and Joan to her part time teaching job.
Stupidly when I had shopped I forgot to retrieve the medicine from the free locker in the store and so today had to go back (I was going to anyway) and rescue it from customer services. Joan informed me last night that when they close they empty all the lockers ready for the following morning. No problems in getting my bag of drugs though. I have to say that after just one pill my pulse is now at a normal rate (it’s been high ever since I was taken off beta blockers a long time ago) and I was advised that in a month the palpitations should be much more infrequent although I recall I still used to get them when betas were all I took for my BP.
Hopefully though the insurers will take a kindly view and today the girl at the agency advised me there were more openings available, some of them further south so hopefully tomorrow she will email them to me. Given that Suzhou have dragged their feet I feel no particular guilt in at least looking elsewhere, nothing has yet been signed.
Last night Dumpling had her first omelette, having eschewed the opportunity for roast pork and trimmings. She then said she wanted to quit as my cleaner in June. With the cats now gone the job of cleaning has now become a breeze so I suggested she keep cleaning but just came once a week and I would pay the same for the month. She agreed. Once I clear out all the rubbish on the balcony it will need a serious clean and I don’t intend to do it!
Andrei and Juliette’s cat has now escaped. In a way it may be better for them as it will save the cost of the vet looking after it during the summer holidays but they are still trying to locate it. I thought it was possibly in one of the downstairs flats that Lotte shelters in now and this morning I may have seen it on the road outside the old building where I used to live. At least it’s warm now.
This has been one hell of a week.
On Saturday Joan came with me to the hospital. It was raining again and yet again I forgot to take my new umbrella, as I type it has still to be used.
The monitor was removed and we had to wait half an hour for the printout. Most of it is in Chinese but I did manage to decipher some parts, in particular where it showed my ticker doesn’t sit permanently on overspeed even when awake.
The cardiologist didn’t seem alarmed and even commented to Joan that everyone gets palpitations, something I have been repeating over and over lately. As she started writing down what new drug to buy I felt it prudent to list everything I already took in case there were contraindications. Apparently not and so for blood pressure alone I will now be taking aspirin, alpha AND beta blockers plus ACE inhibitors. The agency seems to think I won’t have a problem on the work front and I sincerely hope the girl is right.
Afterwards we went tp a chemist to buy the medicines, one of which was 22y for 3 days supply of a traditional Chinese medicine. That’s 220y a month I will not be spending! I bought 22y worth just to show willing but I will stick to tried and tested western drugs - they work! Then it was a quick lunch before I headed off to the supermarket and Joan to her part time teaching job.
Stupidly when I had shopped I forgot to retrieve the medicine from the free locker in the store and so today had to go back (I was going to anyway) and rescue it from customer services. Joan informed me last night that when they close they empty all the lockers ready for the following morning. No problems in getting my bag of drugs though. I have to say that after just one pill my pulse is now at a normal rate (it’s been high ever since I was taken off beta blockers a long time ago) and I was advised that in a month the palpitations should be much more infrequent although I recall I still used to get them when betas were all I took for my BP.
Hopefully though the insurers will take a kindly view and today the girl at the agency advised me there were more openings available, some of them further south so hopefully tomorrow she will email them to me. Given that Suzhou have dragged their feet I feel no particular guilt in at least looking elsewhere, nothing has yet been signed.
Last night Dumpling had her first omelette, having eschewed the opportunity for roast pork and trimmings. She then said she wanted to quit as my cleaner in June. With the cats now gone the job of cleaning has now become a breeze so I suggested she keep cleaning but just came once a week and I would pay the same for the month. She agreed. Once I clear out all the rubbish on the balcony it will need a serious clean and I don’t intend to do it!
Andrei and Juliette’s cat has now escaped. In a way it may be better for them as it will save the cost of the vet looking after it during the summer holidays but they are still trying to locate it. I thought it was possibly in one of the downstairs flats that Lotte shelters in now and this morning I may have seen it on the road outside the old building where I used to live. At least it’s warm now.
Friday, 27 May 2016
Friday 27th May, 2016 1600
Bloody awful day with rain when I woke up. I had of course covered the bike and thankfully as I was leaving just before ten, the early hour and the inclement weather meant few students waiting for the bus so I could park on campus rather than have to ride to the terminus.
Idiotchops here took the precaution of buying a new umbrella last night (Joan pinched my last one and to be fair I never use one unless absolutely necessary) because I thought I might walk from the 29 bus to the hospital - although for me it is a bit of a hike. I was lucky, I forgot the umbrella but when I left it was just a few spits and my luck held because the worst of it is I think over for the day.
I decided against walking and took a cab from the bus stop to the hospital and felt rather pleased with myself by being able to not only find the dynamic ECG room alone but also get them to fit this bloody contraption.
I am currently glued to no less than ten sensors and have something resembling a mobile phone dangling from a strap around my neck. Why can’t they put it on a belt around your waist?? Naturally ever since I was kitted out my ticker has had varying degrees of palpitations. That’s the law of nature. Research tells me intervention is definitely required when you have 20% or more of your heartbeats as PVCs (20K as it beats 100K a day although mine is faster) and having taken my pulse countless times thus far I am nowhere near that, although if it will sort out getting the new contract posted to me I couldn’t care less if I have to take just one more pill a day. That or the cardiologist affirms that it’s not necessary, enough for the medical insurers to rest easy.
Let’s face it, I survived an horrific accident in my first year which saw me having half a tonne of metal inserted into my bones, just over a year ago a busted foot and arse and neither of those killed me so a few heart flutters are going to polish me off? I think not. What might though is trying to sleep with all this clobber stuck to me and I am definitely going to take a nap soon. Tomorrow for the removal and consultation on the results Joan is coming to interpret. That I can’t do alone. Quite why something which (other than the impact on my employment chances) concerns me not a jot is looming so large in my future bemuses me.
If I could tell the uni in Suzhou to have complications from palpitations excluded from cover I would but I can’t, it’s law that they have to indemnify foreigners (and possibly Chinese for all I know). If I had known about all this crap before I would have sorted it before ever taking the damned medical but now it is worrying because there are two scant months left for my documentation to be sorted.
I know I am a Wednesday’s child but do I really need all this woe??
Bloody awful day with rain when I woke up. I had of course covered the bike and thankfully as I was leaving just before ten, the early hour and the inclement weather meant few students waiting for the bus so I could park on campus rather than have to ride to the terminus.
Idiotchops here took the precaution of buying a new umbrella last night (Joan pinched my last one and to be fair I never use one unless absolutely necessary) because I thought I might walk from the 29 bus to the hospital - although for me it is a bit of a hike. I was lucky, I forgot the umbrella but when I left it was just a few spits and my luck held because the worst of it is I think over for the day.
I decided against walking and took a cab from the bus stop to the hospital and felt rather pleased with myself by being able to not only find the dynamic ECG room alone but also get them to fit this bloody contraption.
I am currently glued to no less than ten sensors and have something resembling a mobile phone dangling from a strap around my neck. Why can’t they put it on a belt around your waist?? Naturally ever since I was kitted out my ticker has had varying degrees of palpitations. That’s the law of nature. Research tells me intervention is definitely required when you have 20% or more of your heartbeats as PVCs (20K as it beats 100K a day although mine is faster) and having taken my pulse countless times thus far I am nowhere near that, although if it will sort out getting the new contract posted to me I couldn’t care less if I have to take just one more pill a day. That or the cardiologist affirms that it’s not necessary, enough for the medical insurers to rest easy.
Let’s face it, I survived an horrific accident in my first year which saw me having half a tonne of metal inserted into my bones, just over a year ago a busted foot and arse and neither of those killed me so a few heart flutters are going to polish me off? I think not. What might though is trying to sleep with all this clobber stuck to me and I am definitely going to take a nap soon. Tomorrow for the removal and consultation on the results Joan is coming to interpret. That I can’t do alone. Quite why something which (other than the impact on my employment chances) concerns me not a jot is looming so large in my future bemuses me.
If I could tell the uni in Suzhou to have complications from palpitations excluded from cover I would but I can’t, it’s law that they have to indemnify foreigners (and possibly Chinese for all I know). If I had known about all this crap before I would have sorted it before ever taking the damned medical but now it is worrying because there are two scant months left for my documentation to be sorted.
I know I am a Wednesday’s child but do I really need all this woe??
Wednesday, 25 May 2016
Wednesday 25th May, 2016 1830
Well today has been a very mixed bag and with an ending I would rather not have had.
Having got up at the crack of dawn, the four foreigners here all duly presented themselves at seven. It would have been nice to have been warned as to what was about to happen. I thought perhaps it would be a short promotional video but oh no, what they are making is a biography of someone called Zhangqiyu. The government is funding it and the English translation of the title will be The Wild Goose Returns. I am sure it will premiere in cinemas worldwide!
He is blind but as a student studied in China, Japan and finally in the USA where he gained a PhD in medicine. The roles we were given involved scenes wherein the hero is at an American university. Andrei, Juliette and Richard were cast as students, yours truly was suddenly thrust into the role of professor, presumably by dint of my age.
Were we given scripts and time to learn them? Of course not. In fact my first scene was starting a class (the fact everyone else in the class bar we four were Chinese seemed odd for a university supposedly in the States) and a few minutes beforehand I was simply told to say something about anatomy! In one fell swoop I was promoted to professor and doctor. However after the first shot I was taken aside by Anthony. I had actually asked what clothes I should wear beforehand and been told “normal”. No, my shirt would be too shiny under the lights. I had to go home and change into a black long sleeved one and I put on a tie to appear more donnish.
Then the next problem came when they tried to fit the microphone under my clothes. The belt that went around my waist, when fastened, almost cut me in two. They had to find an extra length of Velcro to extend it to a more comfortable fit!
I settled on the liver as today’s topic but it could have been anything I liked and perhaps knew a small amount about. Now sometime after the retakes had climbed well into double figures, Andrei opined that the actor who was playing the lead must have been the cheapest one available. He certainly seemed to fluff even the simplest of lines (in particular “Sorry professor, I brought the wrong paper”) over and over again. I think I caused one retake for some reason but as I had basically been forced to think up my lines on the hoof so to speak, I found it relatively easy because as long as I imparted the general gist of it everything was fine.
It took four and a half hours to film probably less than five minutes of what will go into the finished article. If the lead actor wasn’t cocking up then the microphone operators were and if not, then the camera angles weren’t quite right. By the end of the day I was heartily sick of hearing “sorry, one more time”.
Richard wasn’t comfortable with one scene in which he sneered at the blind boy (which probably did happen in real life) and so we joked with him afterwards that when old ladies recognise him anywhere in China as that bastard who treated their hero so badly they will beat him with their umbrellas on the street.
As for Hollywood, if that’s how it is I am not interested, although perhaps if I was a big star I would have a trailer to go and sit in to relax between takes. Here I was reduced to going and sitting on my bike for lengthy periods while they shot other scenes in the classroom with the others. Had they provided a stool I could have observed the director’s monitor outside but after all that walking yesterday my legs were like lead.
At 1130 I thought we were done but we weren’t. I had a competition to judge at 1330 although I had warned them there may be a problem, we weren’t finished, we had to relocate to the nursing college opposite our campus. There we were treated to an aeroplane style lunch tray Chinese style, which wasn’t bad but from which I ate sparingly as always.
Lunch over, we donned white coats and pretended to be doctors and student doctors. My God, if the retakes in the morning had been numerous, this time it seemed ludicrous and I am pretty sure we can’t blame the actor for most of them. By the time we got to what felt like retake 186 and I had run out of outraged facial expressions my legs were really aching. It was with great relief when at 1340 (nearly 7 hours after starting) it was a wrap. It was also time for me to thank myself for following the bus which ferried everyone to location two on my bike because although the others got a lift there, they had to walk back!
No sooner was I back on campus than I had to go and judge the contest, which started an hour late because of me. Nine short plays which in fairness were over at 1615 and with a huge sigh I set off for the office and two much needed cold bottles. Whilst there I had a call from a student telling me the film crew needed Juliette to return immediately - whether to retake some of her scenes or not I have no idea but she and Andrei were sleeping when I called them with the less than joyous news. They did however return.
In the meantime, I cannot get a vision out of my head from Airport 1975. You know, the part where the chap on the plane realises he had a bit part in the in-flight movie, tells someone next to him that his appearance is coming up and then he finds his scene has been completely cut!
Sadly when I finally got home I was greeted by two Skype messages from the recruitment agency and the school in Suzhou. The school are concerned about the report of palpitations on my medical report. It would appear it has given THEM palpitations over trying to source medical insurance for me. That’s the last thing I need at the moment.
The 700y I spent on Tuesday may just hopefully turn out to be the best money I have spent in a long time if the 24 hour Holter test shows (and I can get documented proof) that there is nothing to worry about. But of course this will only naturally affect me stress wise so who knows what the future holds. It would be a bitter blow to have to leave China just because of something I have suffered on and off for at least the last 35 years.
Well today has been a very mixed bag and with an ending I would rather not have had.
Having got up at the crack of dawn, the four foreigners here all duly presented themselves at seven. It would have been nice to have been warned as to what was about to happen. I thought perhaps it would be a short promotional video but oh no, what they are making is a biography of someone called Zhangqiyu. The government is funding it and the English translation of the title will be The Wild Goose Returns. I am sure it will premiere in cinemas worldwide!
He is blind but as a student studied in China, Japan and finally in the USA where he gained a PhD in medicine. The roles we were given involved scenes wherein the hero is at an American university. Andrei, Juliette and Richard were cast as students, yours truly was suddenly thrust into the role of professor, presumably by dint of my age.
Were we given scripts and time to learn them? Of course not. In fact my first scene was starting a class (the fact everyone else in the class bar we four were Chinese seemed odd for a university supposedly in the States) and a few minutes beforehand I was simply told to say something about anatomy! In one fell swoop I was promoted to professor and doctor. However after the first shot I was taken aside by Anthony. I had actually asked what clothes I should wear beforehand and been told “normal”. No, my shirt would be too shiny under the lights. I had to go home and change into a black long sleeved one and I put on a tie to appear more donnish.
Then the next problem came when they tried to fit the microphone under my clothes. The belt that went around my waist, when fastened, almost cut me in two. They had to find an extra length of Velcro to extend it to a more comfortable fit!
I settled on the liver as today’s topic but it could have been anything I liked and perhaps knew a small amount about. Now sometime after the retakes had climbed well into double figures, Andrei opined that the actor who was playing the lead must have been the cheapest one available. He certainly seemed to fluff even the simplest of lines (in particular “Sorry professor, I brought the wrong paper”) over and over again. I think I caused one retake for some reason but as I had basically been forced to think up my lines on the hoof so to speak, I found it relatively easy because as long as I imparted the general gist of it everything was fine.
It took four and a half hours to film probably less than five minutes of what will go into the finished article. If the lead actor wasn’t cocking up then the microphone operators were and if not, then the camera angles weren’t quite right. By the end of the day I was heartily sick of hearing “sorry, one more time”.
Richard wasn’t comfortable with one scene in which he sneered at the blind boy (which probably did happen in real life) and so we joked with him afterwards that when old ladies recognise him anywhere in China as that bastard who treated their hero so badly they will beat him with their umbrellas on the street.
As for Hollywood, if that’s how it is I am not interested, although perhaps if I was a big star I would have a trailer to go and sit in to relax between takes. Here I was reduced to going and sitting on my bike for lengthy periods while they shot other scenes in the classroom with the others. Had they provided a stool I could have observed the director’s monitor outside but after all that walking yesterday my legs were like lead.
At 1130 I thought we were done but we weren’t. I had a competition to judge at 1330 although I had warned them there may be a problem, we weren’t finished, we had to relocate to the nursing college opposite our campus. There we were treated to an aeroplane style lunch tray Chinese style, which wasn’t bad but from which I ate sparingly as always.
Lunch over, we donned white coats and pretended to be doctors and student doctors. My God, if the retakes in the morning had been numerous, this time it seemed ludicrous and I am pretty sure we can’t blame the actor for most of them. By the time we got to what felt like retake 186 and I had run out of outraged facial expressions my legs were really aching. It was with great relief when at 1340 (nearly 7 hours after starting) it was a wrap. It was also time for me to thank myself for following the bus which ferried everyone to location two on my bike because although the others got a lift there, they had to walk back!
No sooner was I back on campus than I had to go and judge the contest, which started an hour late because of me. Nine short plays which in fairness were over at 1615 and with a huge sigh I set off for the office and two much needed cold bottles. Whilst there I had a call from a student telling me the film crew needed Juliette to return immediately - whether to retake some of her scenes or not I have no idea but she and Andrei were sleeping when I called them with the less than joyous news. They did however return.
In the meantime, I cannot get a vision out of my head from Airport 1975. You know, the part where the chap on the plane realises he had a bit part in the in-flight movie, tells someone next to him that his appearance is coming up and then he finds his scene has been completely cut!
Sadly when I finally got home I was greeted by two Skype messages from the recruitment agency and the school in Suzhou. The school are concerned about the report of palpitations on my medical report. It would appear it has given THEM palpitations over trying to source medical insurance for me. That’s the last thing I need at the moment.
The 700y I spent on Tuesday may just hopefully turn out to be the best money I have spent in a long time if the 24 hour Holter test shows (and I can get documented proof) that there is nothing to worry about. But of course this will only naturally affect me stress wise so who knows what the future holds. It would be a bitter blow to have to leave China just because of something I have suffered on and off for at least the last 35 years.
Tuesday, 24 May 2016
Tuesday 24th May, 2016 1600
Hell of a day so far!
I met Vivi at the hospital at 1020 this morning, armed with the ECG printout. For 8y I got to see a cardiologist who found my BP to be fine and no irregularities when she listened to my ticker. Great, just write it in my book so I can show it to anyone concerned.
Oh no! Chinese hospitals are money-spinners, you don’t get away that lightly! I then spent the next hour and 718y having new blood samples taken, an ultrasound exam on my heart and finally going to “dynamic ECG”. I have to wear a mini-ECG for 24 hours to give a picture of my heart’s antics over a complete day. It looks as if they strap it around your body, glue magnetic pads to your skin and attach the sensors. How the hell I will sleep with that thing on I do not know. Oh and I can’t take a shower until after I return to the hospital. I am really beginning to wish I hadn’t bothered and a good job I have the money on the medical card! At this rate I won’t need to worry about leaving any balance on it when I leave.
I also had a call from Anthony. The school wants my co-operation. They have fired me for being old and they want my co-operation? Ok, what is it? An activity and I will pick you up at 0800 tomorrow. Eight in the morning??!! Give me strength.
Turns out they have cancelled at least my morning class (I already cancelled the afternoon one to judge the drama contest but now I don’t know if I will be back in time for that) and the three laowei are going to feature in a film. No idea what it’s about but I am NOT doing my own stunts. Wonder if Spielberg will be there…..
When I got home there was a message from the recruitment agency stating they couldn’t find a copy of my degree in the documents I emailed them. Hardly surprising considering the first university I went to was this one and I have no degree. I then had to explain my seafaring qualification to them and the fact it took longer than a BA to get. I wouldn’t mind but all this is in my CV. Clearly nobody takes a blind bit of notice of anything.
So having risen early today and having to get up even earlier tomorrow, I am perhaps understandably going to take a snooze just as soon as my laundry is finished - better have a decent shirt to wear. I am not wearing any animal costumes tomorrow!
Last night when I went down to take the leftover chicken to leave for the animals Mum came bounding up. First time I have seen her in three days and she was a lot thinner so somewhere, I know not, are her new litter. It’s not here and it’s not the usual building so I am at a loss, perhaps it is Anthony’s building. Anyway she wolfed down the leftovers, with the exception of the runner beans!
Ten minutes before the washing is done, then a couple of hours catch up.
1840
Just when I thought I had everything under control!
I did get into bed but before I could drop off, Anthony was knocking on my bedroom door. Slight change tomorrow, the film will be shot on campus so the time has changed. Great, if we don’t have to travel then it must be later, right?
No. we need to start at seven. Seven!!!??? That means getting up at the latest five thirty to shower, dress and actually wake up! Well there went my siesta, no bloody point, I’ll just have to go to bed by half nine. I swear they’re trying to kill me before I leave.
Apparently the film is about a blind Chinese person who went to England. Supposed to be famous and according to Anthony the blind person is acting as themselves tomorrow. The film is government sponsored and I told him I wasn’t taking part unless I get given a copy of the finished article. As it’s taking place on campus I am guessing there won’t be a free lunch going…….
Hell of a day so far!
I met Vivi at the hospital at 1020 this morning, armed with the ECG printout. For 8y I got to see a cardiologist who found my BP to be fine and no irregularities when she listened to my ticker. Great, just write it in my book so I can show it to anyone concerned.
Oh no! Chinese hospitals are money-spinners, you don’t get away that lightly! I then spent the next hour and 718y having new blood samples taken, an ultrasound exam on my heart and finally going to “dynamic ECG”. I have to wear a mini-ECG for 24 hours to give a picture of my heart’s antics over a complete day. It looks as if they strap it around your body, glue magnetic pads to your skin and attach the sensors. How the hell I will sleep with that thing on I do not know. Oh and I can’t take a shower until after I return to the hospital. I am really beginning to wish I hadn’t bothered and a good job I have the money on the medical card! At this rate I won’t need to worry about leaving any balance on it when I leave.
I also had a call from Anthony. The school wants my co-operation. They have fired me for being old and they want my co-operation? Ok, what is it? An activity and I will pick you up at 0800 tomorrow. Eight in the morning??!! Give me strength.
Turns out they have cancelled at least my morning class (I already cancelled the afternoon one to judge the drama contest but now I don’t know if I will be back in time for that) and the three laowei are going to feature in a film. No idea what it’s about but I am NOT doing my own stunts. Wonder if Spielberg will be there…..
When I got home there was a message from the recruitment agency stating they couldn’t find a copy of my degree in the documents I emailed them. Hardly surprising considering the first university I went to was this one and I have no degree. I then had to explain my seafaring qualification to them and the fact it took longer than a BA to get. I wouldn’t mind but all this is in my CV. Clearly nobody takes a blind bit of notice of anything.
So having risen early today and having to get up even earlier tomorrow, I am perhaps understandably going to take a snooze just as soon as my laundry is finished - better have a decent shirt to wear. I am not wearing any animal costumes tomorrow!
Last night when I went down to take the leftover chicken to leave for the animals Mum came bounding up. First time I have seen her in three days and she was a lot thinner so somewhere, I know not, are her new litter. It’s not here and it’s not the usual building so I am at a loss, perhaps it is Anthony’s building. Anyway she wolfed down the leftovers, with the exception of the runner beans!
Ten minutes before the washing is done, then a couple of hours catch up.
1840
Just when I thought I had everything under control!
I did get into bed but before I could drop off, Anthony was knocking on my bedroom door. Slight change tomorrow, the film will be shot on campus so the time has changed. Great, if we don’t have to travel then it must be later, right?
No. we need to start at seven. Seven!!!??? That means getting up at the latest five thirty to shower, dress and actually wake up! Well there went my siesta, no bloody point, I’ll just have to go to bed by half nine. I swear they’re trying to kill me before I leave.
Apparently the film is about a blind Chinese person who went to England. Supposed to be famous and according to Anthony the blind person is acting as themselves tomorrow. The film is government sponsored and I told him I wasn’t taking part unless I get given a copy of the finished article. As it’s taking place on campus I am guessing there won’t be a free lunch going…….
Tuesday 24th May. 2016 0200
Far too late to be up seeing as I have to be awake at the crack of eight.
It’s been a while so it is difficult to recall what has happened since the last entry.
For starters I made a roast chicken dinner for Dumpling and me, having found the fattest chicken I have ever seen in China. As her favourite spuds are mashed I didn’t do roasties, although I still have to introduce her to jacket potatoes, that will happen on Wednesday. It was a damned good dinner apart from the fact I got the Yorkshire mix wrong again! Last time was when I tried toad in the hole and I used too much milk, this time I erred the other way. Oh yes, they rose beautifully but before being served the damned things collapsed and became tough. Maybe next time I will get it right.
I expected to get my medical report delivered here on Saturday evening but never had a message to alert me. Ok, Sunday maybe. On Sunday Joan came and when I asked her if she had seen the snake outside the entrance she cringed. It’s ok I said, I saw it this morning, I think someone ran its head over with an ebike and it is dead. It had been dead all day but she was terrified of walking past it and demanded I accompanied her to ensure her safety. I am unsure as to what part of “dead” failed to get across.
On Sunday a Chinese teacher (Chester) had invited me to join friends of his for lunch but for lunch we had to leave at 1030! He had tried for a few weekends to set this up but either I was tied up or the hosts were, however this time it happened. I really didn’t want to go because I knew it was simply a way to get me to talk with kids but a free lunch and booze? Goodwill and all that, so feeling knackered I duly met him at south gate at 1030.
Mein host was a government official and when we got there he left to collect the others. There were three kids, one his son and the others two female cousins. In fact the kids were great. A couple of the adults bringing the total to eight were also teachers and colleagues of Molly so surprisingly there was quite a bit of English spoken.
The amount of food on offer was over the top but they did get me Peking duck and a couple of other dishes weren’t bad either. Best of all, Chester had brought along a bottle of Hennessey vsop. That was far more acceptable than baijou or pijou! A really lovely meal and at the end I asked if we were going to play Do Di Jou? It’s a Chinese card game for four played using two packs of cards including jokers and I love it, although I don’t get to play often. I made up a foursome with two of the kids and Mr Gan, the host. Had we been playing for 10y a round I would have profited to the tune of 120y by the time we left and unbelievably, when I had jokingly suggested playing for money the mothers kept trying to give me money each time I won! A lunch, a lift to and from and cognac and I am going to take their cash?? Considering I was dreading it, I had a great time, to great as it happened as I got too merry to bother with my plan to go to the supermarket after and take the bus back!
Sunday night the medical results still hadn’t arrived. Now I was getting concerned. Without them plus other paperwork from this school, the new school will have problems getting my residence permit extended and I cannot afford to have to fly back to the UK and go through the visa process all over again, then return here and wait for my next salary. Alice tried calling the hospital but of course they were closed for the weekend.
She called Dumpling and asked her to speak to the delivery company. My envelope indeed arrived on Saturday but because I never collected it, they sent it back! I was livid. I never got a message to alert me! The next I knew, Dumpling was telling me the company would get the package back today and I hadn’t received a text because my phone was off (nonsense because even if it was the text would arrive after I switched back on) and shortly thereafter Anthony called me.
The hospital had called Miss Yin to say that they had the wrong phone number on the form. Alice screwed up.
Last evening the parcel returned.
Everything great except they have noted a fatty liver (they always say that about westerners), tachycardia and occasional premature ventricular contractions (my palpitations). I feel reasonably confident that won’t scupper anything but just in case I am after all going to the hospital later this morning and taking Vivi to translate. If I need medication to slow my ticker and get it beating normally (although it is very common) then I need someone to explain things both ways. And if I get either pills or the “don’t worry” treatment, should the new place have qualms I can brandish that at them. It’s not as if my engine is packing up, far from it, indeed they listed my BP as 110/70 which for a fat bastard of 60 ain’t that bad!
So five hours sleep beckons after posting this. My life must surely get less problematic soon???
Far too late to be up seeing as I have to be awake at the crack of eight.
It’s been a while so it is difficult to recall what has happened since the last entry.
For starters I made a roast chicken dinner for Dumpling and me, having found the fattest chicken I have ever seen in China. As her favourite spuds are mashed I didn’t do roasties, although I still have to introduce her to jacket potatoes, that will happen on Wednesday. It was a damned good dinner apart from the fact I got the Yorkshire mix wrong again! Last time was when I tried toad in the hole and I used too much milk, this time I erred the other way. Oh yes, they rose beautifully but before being served the damned things collapsed and became tough. Maybe next time I will get it right.
I expected to get my medical report delivered here on Saturday evening but never had a message to alert me. Ok, Sunday maybe. On Sunday Joan came and when I asked her if she had seen the snake outside the entrance she cringed. It’s ok I said, I saw it this morning, I think someone ran its head over with an ebike and it is dead. It had been dead all day but she was terrified of walking past it and demanded I accompanied her to ensure her safety. I am unsure as to what part of “dead” failed to get across.
On Sunday a Chinese teacher (Chester) had invited me to join friends of his for lunch but for lunch we had to leave at 1030! He had tried for a few weekends to set this up but either I was tied up or the hosts were, however this time it happened. I really didn’t want to go because I knew it was simply a way to get me to talk with kids but a free lunch and booze? Goodwill and all that, so feeling knackered I duly met him at south gate at 1030.
Mein host was a government official and when we got there he left to collect the others. There were three kids, one his son and the others two female cousins. In fact the kids were great. A couple of the adults bringing the total to eight were also teachers and colleagues of Molly so surprisingly there was quite a bit of English spoken.
The amount of food on offer was over the top but they did get me Peking duck and a couple of other dishes weren’t bad either. Best of all, Chester had brought along a bottle of Hennessey vsop. That was far more acceptable than baijou or pijou! A really lovely meal and at the end I asked if we were going to play Do Di Jou? It’s a Chinese card game for four played using two packs of cards including jokers and I love it, although I don’t get to play often. I made up a foursome with two of the kids and Mr Gan, the host. Had we been playing for 10y a round I would have profited to the tune of 120y by the time we left and unbelievably, when I had jokingly suggested playing for money the mothers kept trying to give me money each time I won! A lunch, a lift to and from and cognac and I am going to take their cash?? Considering I was dreading it, I had a great time, to great as it happened as I got too merry to bother with my plan to go to the supermarket after and take the bus back!
Sunday night the medical results still hadn’t arrived. Now I was getting concerned. Without them plus other paperwork from this school, the new school will have problems getting my residence permit extended and I cannot afford to have to fly back to the UK and go through the visa process all over again, then return here and wait for my next salary. Alice tried calling the hospital but of course they were closed for the weekend.
She called Dumpling and asked her to speak to the delivery company. My envelope indeed arrived on Saturday but because I never collected it, they sent it back! I was livid. I never got a message to alert me! The next I knew, Dumpling was telling me the company would get the package back today and I hadn’t received a text because my phone was off (nonsense because even if it was the text would arrive after I switched back on) and shortly thereafter Anthony called me.
The hospital had called Miss Yin to say that they had the wrong phone number on the form. Alice screwed up.
Last evening the parcel returned.
Everything great except they have noted a fatty liver (they always say that about westerners), tachycardia and occasional premature ventricular contractions (my palpitations). I feel reasonably confident that won’t scupper anything but just in case I am after all going to the hospital later this morning and taking Vivi to translate. If I need medication to slow my ticker and get it beating normally (although it is very common) then I need someone to explain things both ways. And if I get either pills or the “don’t worry” treatment, should the new place have qualms I can brandish that at them. It’s not as if my engine is packing up, far from it, indeed they listed my BP as 110/70 which for a fat bastard of 60 ain’t that bad!
So five hours sleep beckons after posting this. My life must surely get less problematic soon???
Friday, 20 May 2016
Friday 20th May, 2016 0330
I really shouldn’t be doing this at this time but I am off until 1600 Monday so I am only damaging my sleep pattern for now.
Catless life is taking some getting used to. Not having to close every door for starters and of course Dumpling is happy because suddenly her cleaning job here is a breeze. It was unbelievable the mess they made but I haven’t seen hide nor hair of any of them for the past couple of days. It is warm, they will get used to living free and I hope will be well used to it when winter rears its head again.
Wednesday night I cooked chilli enchiladas for both Dumpling who had had them before and Alice who hadn’t. Whilst they both loved them it was disappointing that ten minutes after they finished they left together! Admittedly it was partly my fault because the meal was late by Chinese standards (1945) but that was because my oven packed up and kept blowing the breaker. I had earlier left the frozen chilli on top of it to defrost and of course in the warm temperature there was condensation which must have overflowed from the top and into the switch electrics.
I am not that practical when it comes to such things but having figured out what I thought it was, I decided I should dry the oven out. But how? I may not be the brightest spark but I figured if it had infiltrated the controls at the front, if I could get the water away from them it might just work.
Cue me lifting the oven at a 45 degree angle and leaning it against the wall and voila! The breaker never cut out and I was able to run it on full heat for ten minutes until the water evaporated and I was able to cook a dinner that I thought I was going to have to abandon.
Yesterday I sent a text to Daniel when I got up, asking him where he would be before noon. I wanted to take the bus before the lunchtime hordes of students turned out of class. No reply so I got the bus just before twelve and did a small shop for my salad tonight (which I have to say, whilst simple, went down a treat and I ate loads of it) but en route he texted and we agreed I would go to his office after two. Well it was always going to be after two because I was going to my office for a couple once back and to kill all the flies.
When I got to his office it was locked. He was elsewhere in a meeting. He would be an hour. Sod that, tomorrow instead. As I was about to leave the Dean came out of her office and asked who I was looking for. I explained the situation and also said that I heard she had tried to intervene on my behalf with the foreign affairs department and I wanted to thank her. I said it hadn’t worked but at least I had another job offer. At that she seemed surprised and wanted to know where it was, how much the pay was etc and then she asked did Anthony know? Did the foreign affairs department know? Had I signed the contract yet?
Well that last question piqued my interest no end. Why would she ask that and also did foreign affairs know? She said she must ring them now and disappeared into her office, only to return seconds later, telling me she had to go to the administration block. I could wait in the teaching office. Well what would you think?
I know what I thought. She was going in to bat for me to stay here. Of course you don’t know everything that was said but believe me there was nothing stupid about my coming to that conclusion. So I waited. For three quarters of an hour. When she came back she said was I still waiting for Daniel? No, I was waiting for you, I thought you had gone to speak to Director Xu and Miss Yin. No I had a meeting. Right, I’ll go home then.
I had spent the best part of an hour hoping against hope that I would remain here and all because the head of the foreign languages department can’t actually speak English particularly well, or if she can, not in a way that communicates clearly. My hopes were dashed and to be honest I would rather they hadn’t been raised in the first place.
Later today I will see Daniel, depending on what his wife says I may go to hospital to see what medication I can take for the palpitations (there are options) but as for the tachycardia, besides Beta Blockers the options seem most unpleasant and Betas are not an option for me as I was on them for years but they stopped working and I had to be switched to Alphas which are absolutely first rate. Why is it that you are pootling along nicely without a care in the world about your health and then some doctor has to throw a spanner in the works when more as like you will be fine?
I really shouldn’t be doing this at this time but I am off until 1600 Monday so I am only damaging my sleep pattern for now.
Catless life is taking some getting used to. Not having to close every door for starters and of course Dumpling is happy because suddenly her cleaning job here is a breeze. It was unbelievable the mess they made but I haven’t seen hide nor hair of any of them for the past couple of days. It is warm, they will get used to living free and I hope will be well used to it when winter rears its head again.
Wednesday night I cooked chilli enchiladas for both Dumpling who had had them before and Alice who hadn’t. Whilst they both loved them it was disappointing that ten minutes after they finished they left together! Admittedly it was partly my fault because the meal was late by Chinese standards (1945) but that was because my oven packed up and kept blowing the breaker. I had earlier left the frozen chilli on top of it to defrost and of course in the warm temperature there was condensation which must have overflowed from the top and into the switch electrics.
I am not that practical when it comes to such things but having figured out what I thought it was, I decided I should dry the oven out. But how? I may not be the brightest spark but I figured if it had infiltrated the controls at the front, if I could get the water away from them it might just work.
Cue me lifting the oven at a 45 degree angle and leaning it against the wall and voila! The breaker never cut out and I was able to run it on full heat for ten minutes until the water evaporated and I was able to cook a dinner that I thought I was going to have to abandon.
Yesterday I sent a text to Daniel when I got up, asking him where he would be before noon. I wanted to take the bus before the lunchtime hordes of students turned out of class. No reply so I got the bus just before twelve and did a small shop for my salad tonight (which I have to say, whilst simple, went down a treat and I ate loads of it) but en route he texted and we agreed I would go to his office after two. Well it was always going to be after two because I was going to my office for a couple once back and to kill all the flies.
When I got to his office it was locked. He was elsewhere in a meeting. He would be an hour. Sod that, tomorrow instead. As I was about to leave the Dean came out of her office and asked who I was looking for. I explained the situation and also said that I heard she had tried to intervene on my behalf with the foreign affairs department and I wanted to thank her. I said it hadn’t worked but at least I had another job offer. At that she seemed surprised and wanted to know where it was, how much the pay was etc and then she asked did Anthony know? Did the foreign affairs department know? Had I signed the contract yet?
Well that last question piqued my interest no end. Why would she ask that and also did foreign affairs know? She said she must ring them now and disappeared into her office, only to return seconds later, telling me she had to go to the administration block. I could wait in the teaching office. Well what would you think?
I know what I thought. She was going in to bat for me to stay here. Of course you don’t know everything that was said but believe me there was nothing stupid about my coming to that conclusion. So I waited. For three quarters of an hour. When she came back she said was I still waiting for Daniel? No, I was waiting for you, I thought you had gone to speak to Director Xu and Miss Yin. No I had a meeting. Right, I’ll go home then.
I had spent the best part of an hour hoping against hope that I would remain here and all because the head of the foreign languages department can’t actually speak English particularly well, or if she can, not in a way that communicates clearly. My hopes were dashed and to be honest I would rather they hadn’t been raised in the first place.
Later today I will see Daniel, depending on what his wife says I may go to hospital to see what medication I can take for the palpitations (there are options) but as for the tachycardia, besides Beta Blockers the options seem most unpleasant and Betas are not an option for me as I was on them for years but they stopped working and I had to be switched to Alphas which are absolutely first rate. Why is it that you are pootling along nicely without a care in the world about your health and then some doctor has to throw a spanner in the works when more as like you will be fine?
Tuesday, 17 May 2016
Sunday 15th May, 2016 0030
I really hadn’t intended starting this one today.
After the hearty bowl of cornflakes the gurgling and cement mixing continued I am sure long after I actually fell asleep. It did though stave off collapsing from malnutrition for a while, which had I not, I think I may have had a little trouble.
Still had bellyache when I got up (and when you have one my size it has considerable effect) but eventually I showered and went to shop. The shopping list included chicken for Napolitano and pasta for Dumpling last night (remember I am typing this in the morning for those west of here) and more potatoes for Alice’s promised omelette and chips for today.
I have to say that all the bumpings of the bike over the speed humps on campus almost made me go back home to the refuge of the bathroom but I persevered. I spent nearly 1,000y today on my monthly cigars, shopping and of course Dumpling’s pay for cleaning. It soon goes.
It was flipping hot as well, I reckon about 30C and when I got back I was happy to find that my office was relatively cool to sit in, have a couple of bottles and exterminate two score flies.
Then I got back, showed Dumpling a film and cooked our chicken pasta. I ate about a quarter of my meagre portion but then she only ate half her adult sized one. It was more than I had eaten in the past four days combined so I was happy - pasta is great for energy.
After we had eaten but the film was still on I had a text from Molly (one of the elves in the Santa visit’s the kids in hospital on Christmas Day TV thing). Was I busy tomorrow? Why?
Now this is utterly typical of the Chinese. I get married tomorrow, will you come?!! I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! Yes of course I will go, I said, it will be my first Chinese wedding in all the time I have been here.
And then, now remember this is about 20 hours before the actual reception I was invited to - the sting in the tail. We would like you to make a speech!!!
Talk about giving someone space to come up with something to say??
It’s fine, of course I will go and certainly I will make a speech. All I can say is it is jolly good I have made plenty before and that I don’t suffer from stage fright.
So despite her omelette being deferred because I won’t be making it tomorrow, Alice will still get dinner as I have asked her to accompany me.
Now the protocol here is tricky. Molly told me just bring myself (and a friend) but do I show up at a wedding bearing no gifts? Apparently making a speech is enough. But of course being English I feel I should take something and with little time to sort it. I thought of a clock but that is absolutely taboo in China - bad luck. Most people give red envelopes with money in them but that’s not our way. So I am stymied as to what to actually do. Is gracing them with a foreign celebrity presence (which I am in this city without being big-headed ) and her folks being all excited after I agreed not only to come but also speak enough?
I would if I knew how and where, buy a plaque or something and have it engraved with their names but I am stuffed if I know where to have it done and anyway I have no time to go to town, then back and then to the hotel, I have other things to attend to as well. Dumpling asked her parents and they simply said give a lucky envelope but I explained that certainly Englishmen of my age prefer to give a gift, money seems so impersonal. Quandary after quandary in my life here.
I have charged the camera though, just hope I remember to take it.
Tuesday 17th 1540
I will get this posted, I promise!
I have to say Sunday night was an unmitigated delight. Molly’s uncle collected us in his taxi and took us to the hotel. Early by about 90 minutes. No chance of getting a beer before the food although I could have popped downstairs to the hotel bar had I known the “rehearsal” the professional host wanted was in fact a two minute chat but of course having never been to one of these dos, leave alone made a speech at one, I was completely in the dark. Not to worry, I had my trusty hip flask as back up.
Mum and Dad seemed absolutely thrilled I had made it, albeit I was a tad overdressed even though I was concerned I hadn’t worn a suit. There were in all 27 tables, nominally for ten guests but I strongly suspect there were more than 270 attendees. As you will see from the photos (the only blurred one you will kindly note was taken by Alice!) they have round tables at Chinese weddings and there is in fact a pecking order. The guests of honour or the hosts sit facing the entrance to the room. We were placed on table two and along with a grumpy old Grandad I had one of the two VIP seats, with Alice at my side.
There was a catwalk with a bridal arch at the end, through which rather strangely the happy couple make an entrance, do their bit on stage and then bugger off to change into something more comfortable. In the meantime the guests actually start the dinner before they return. I have to say Molly looked fabulous and she wasn’t faking her happiness. What the evening cost I have no idea but I reckon it was more than I earn in a year.
The food was ok, some of it I wouldn’t have eaten, some I didn’t as I still had a dodgy belly but the duck was fine and there was a hock of pork that I must say was done to perfection, moist and tender - I even ate some fat!
I was provided with a case of beer once they found I didn’t like baijou although the two bottles of it on every table looked very expensive indeed with statuettes inside them. We were actually on the same table (apart from Grumpy) as Molly’s vice principal (who gave the only other speech) and some of her colleagues at the middle school.
Whilst I had fully intended to waffle on with my speech for ten minutes, the host decided five minutes was plenty (who’s wedding was it??) and so I abbreviated it. This was much to Alice’s relief for at the last minute Molly had pulled out of being my translator! As it happened, when Alice hesitated on stage, more I think because she didn’t realise I was doing it one sentence at a time to allow an accurate translation, Molly jumped up and took over! Alice was mortified but I told her nobody was looking at her, rather at the fat foreigner and the bride!
I think the couple thought I did them proud, hard to tell in a land where nothing is what it seems but the audience seemed to receive my offering well. It was truly an unforgettable experience and both Alice and I were treated like visiting royalty - they even prepaid a taxi to take us back.
On Monday I started making efforts to ascertain whether I could take my medical here in Chizhou, after all they run the same tests (ECG, ultrasound, x-ray, bloods etc) but it has to be a quarantine hospital for some reason. Chizhou isn’t. So Anqing it had to be. Really annoying because here I could have paid using my medical card meaning no cost to me and 4y travelling costs on the bus for Alice and me.
With the prospect of getting up this morning at seven and being unable to eat or drink until eleven staring me in the face, I decided we should go last night and stay in an hotel. That way I could get up, shower and leave immediately for the hospital. Before we left I cooked us both a huge cheese and prawn omelette with chips and peas which Alice pronounced delicious (it was) and which neither of us could finish. We took the train and spent the night in our respective rooms, Alice with my free milk, me with a bottle of plonk and my computer.
En route Kevin very kindly advised that the hospital he went to a year ago when he left was a new one and sent us the address on the little medical book you get. Accordingly we got the taxi to take us there. It was the old place! Why on earth use out of date books? Another taxi and eventually we arrived at a rather odd looking building in a development area. On the way I had been checking my pulse. As usual in the morning I was tachycardic but to my horror I found I had palpitations! Everyone gets them but that was the last thing I needed when taking an ECG!
Sure enough, the doctor carrying out that particular procedure advised Alice that I should go to hospital to be prescribed medication. I don’t think so, two hours later of course they had gone. She did remark on my suitcase, apparently she liked it and wanted one, asking where I bought it and how much it cost so hopefully she never wrote anything dreadful on the form.
BP was complimented on by the next doctor but I knew that would be fine. All other tests were good but I was somewhat alarmed when I put my urine sample on the tray holding others’, mine was markedly darker! Fingers crossed nothing damning is revealed when they send the results here on Friday or Saturday.
It was 30C outside and they had built a hospital where taxis are few and far between and I guess we stopped ten taxis and asked them to take us to the station and they all said no, too far! Christ, I thought they would be happy for a bigger fare! Eventually a woman taxi driver took us for 13y - hardly a long haul trip.
We were back in school for 1230 and once I have posted this I am having a siesta. Tonight I must read all the speeches being made tomorrow and formulate a question for each contestant. Good job I have the week off due to my students doing community service.
Phew, this one is certainly lengthy!
I really hadn’t intended starting this one today.
After the hearty bowl of cornflakes the gurgling and cement mixing continued I am sure long after I actually fell asleep. It did though stave off collapsing from malnutrition for a while, which had I not, I think I may have had a little trouble.
Still had bellyache when I got up (and when you have one my size it has considerable effect) but eventually I showered and went to shop. The shopping list included chicken for Napolitano and pasta for Dumpling last night (remember I am typing this in the morning for those west of here) and more potatoes for Alice’s promised omelette and chips for today.
I have to say that all the bumpings of the bike over the speed humps on campus almost made me go back home to the refuge of the bathroom but I persevered. I spent nearly 1,000y today on my monthly cigars, shopping and of course Dumpling’s pay for cleaning. It soon goes.
It was flipping hot as well, I reckon about 30C and when I got back I was happy to find that my office was relatively cool to sit in, have a couple of bottles and exterminate two score flies.
Then I got back, showed Dumpling a film and cooked our chicken pasta. I ate about a quarter of my meagre portion but then she only ate half her adult sized one. It was more than I had eaten in the past four days combined so I was happy - pasta is great for energy.
After we had eaten but the film was still on I had a text from Molly (one of the elves in the Santa visit’s the kids in hospital on Christmas Day TV thing). Was I busy tomorrow? Why?
Now this is utterly typical of the Chinese. I get married tomorrow, will you come?!! I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! Yes of course I will go, I said, it will be my first Chinese wedding in all the time I have been here.
And then, now remember this is about 20 hours before the actual reception I was invited to - the sting in the tail. We would like you to make a speech!!!
Talk about giving someone space to come up with something to say??
It’s fine, of course I will go and certainly I will make a speech. All I can say is it is jolly good I have made plenty before and that I don’t suffer from stage fright.
So despite her omelette being deferred because I won’t be making it tomorrow, Alice will still get dinner as I have asked her to accompany me.
Now the protocol here is tricky. Molly told me just bring myself (and a friend) but do I show up at a wedding bearing no gifts? Apparently making a speech is enough. But of course being English I feel I should take something and with little time to sort it. I thought of a clock but that is absolutely taboo in China - bad luck. Most people give red envelopes with money in them but that’s not our way. So I am stymied as to what to actually do. Is gracing them with a foreign celebrity presence (which I am in this city without being big-headed ) and her folks being all excited after I agreed not only to come but also speak enough?
I would if I knew how and where, buy a plaque or something and have it engraved with their names but I am stuffed if I know where to have it done and anyway I have no time to go to town, then back and then to the hotel, I have other things to attend to as well. Dumpling asked her parents and they simply said give a lucky envelope but I explained that certainly Englishmen of my age prefer to give a gift, money seems so impersonal. Quandary after quandary in my life here.
I have charged the camera though, just hope I remember to take it.
Tuesday 17th 1540
I will get this posted, I promise!
I have to say Sunday night was an unmitigated delight. Molly’s uncle collected us in his taxi and took us to the hotel. Early by about 90 minutes. No chance of getting a beer before the food although I could have popped downstairs to the hotel bar had I known the “rehearsal” the professional host wanted was in fact a two minute chat but of course having never been to one of these dos, leave alone made a speech at one, I was completely in the dark. Not to worry, I had my trusty hip flask as back up.
Mum and Dad seemed absolutely thrilled I had made it, albeit I was a tad overdressed even though I was concerned I hadn’t worn a suit. There were in all 27 tables, nominally for ten guests but I strongly suspect there were more than 270 attendees. As you will see from the photos (the only blurred one you will kindly note was taken by Alice!) they have round tables at Chinese weddings and there is in fact a pecking order. The guests of honour or the hosts sit facing the entrance to the room. We were placed on table two and along with a grumpy old Grandad I had one of the two VIP seats, with Alice at my side.
There was a catwalk with a bridal arch at the end, through which rather strangely the happy couple make an entrance, do their bit on stage and then bugger off to change into something more comfortable. In the meantime the guests actually start the dinner before they return. I have to say Molly looked fabulous and she wasn’t faking her happiness. What the evening cost I have no idea but I reckon it was more than I earn in a year.
The food was ok, some of it I wouldn’t have eaten, some I didn’t as I still had a dodgy belly but the duck was fine and there was a hock of pork that I must say was done to perfection, moist and tender - I even ate some fat!
I was provided with a case of beer once they found I didn’t like baijou although the two bottles of it on every table looked very expensive indeed with statuettes inside them. We were actually on the same table (apart from Grumpy) as Molly’s vice principal (who gave the only other speech) and some of her colleagues at the middle school.
Whilst I had fully intended to waffle on with my speech for ten minutes, the host decided five minutes was plenty (who’s wedding was it??) and so I abbreviated it. This was much to Alice’s relief for at the last minute Molly had pulled out of being my translator! As it happened, when Alice hesitated on stage, more I think because she didn’t realise I was doing it one sentence at a time to allow an accurate translation, Molly jumped up and took over! Alice was mortified but I told her nobody was looking at her, rather at the fat foreigner and the bride!
I think the couple thought I did them proud, hard to tell in a land where nothing is what it seems but the audience seemed to receive my offering well. It was truly an unforgettable experience and both Alice and I were treated like visiting royalty - they even prepaid a taxi to take us back.
On Monday I started making efforts to ascertain whether I could take my medical here in Chizhou, after all they run the same tests (ECG, ultrasound, x-ray, bloods etc) but it has to be a quarantine hospital for some reason. Chizhou isn’t. So Anqing it had to be. Really annoying because here I could have paid using my medical card meaning no cost to me and 4y travelling costs on the bus for Alice and me.
With the prospect of getting up this morning at seven and being unable to eat or drink until eleven staring me in the face, I decided we should go last night and stay in an hotel. That way I could get up, shower and leave immediately for the hospital. Before we left I cooked us both a huge cheese and prawn omelette with chips and peas which Alice pronounced delicious (it was) and which neither of us could finish. We took the train and spent the night in our respective rooms, Alice with my free milk, me with a bottle of plonk and my computer.
En route Kevin very kindly advised that the hospital he went to a year ago when he left was a new one and sent us the address on the little medical book you get. Accordingly we got the taxi to take us there. It was the old place! Why on earth use out of date books? Another taxi and eventually we arrived at a rather odd looking building in a development area. On the way I had been checking my pulse. As usual in the morning I was tachycardic but to my horror I found I had palpitations! Everyone gets them but that was the last thing I needed when taking an ECG!
Sure enough, the doctor carrying out that particular procedure advised Alice that I should go to hospital to be prescribed medication. I don’t think so, two hours later of course they had gone. She did remark on my suitcase, apparently she liked it and wanted one, asking where I bought it and how much it cost so hopefully she never wrote anything dreadful on the form.
BP was complimented on by the next doctor but I knew that would be fine. All other tests were good but I was somewhat alarmed when I put my urine sample on the tray holding others’, mine was markedly darker! Fingers crossed nothing damning is revealed when they send the results here on Friday or Saturday.
It was 30C outside and they had built a hospital where taxis are few and far between and I guess we stopped ten taxis and asked them to take us to the station and they all said no, too far! Christ, I thought they would be happy for a bigger fare! Eventually a woman taxi driver took us for 13y - hardly a long haul trip.
We were back in school for 1230 and once I have posted this I am having a siesta. Tonight I must read all the speeches being made tomorrow and formulate a question for each contestant. Good job I have the week off due to my students doing community service.
Phew, this one is certainly lengthy!
Sunday, 15 May 2016
Sunday 15th May, 2016 0030
I really hadn’t intended starting this one today.
After the hearty bowl of cornflakes the gurgling and cement mixing continued I am sure long after I actually fell asleep. It did though stave off collapsing from malnutrition for a while, which had I not, I think I may have had a little trouble.
Still had bellyache when I got up (and when you have one my size it has considerable effect) but eventually I showered and went to shop. The shopping list included chicken for Napolitano and pasta for Dumpling last night (remember I am typing this in the morning for those west of here) and more potatoes for Alice’s promised omelette and chips for today.
I have to say that all the bumpings of the bike over the speed humps on campus almost made me go back home to the refuge of the bathroom but I persevered. I spent nearly 1,000y today on my monthly cigars, shopping and of course Dumpling’s pay for cleaning. It soon goes.
It was flipping hot as well, I reckon about 30C and when I got back I was happy to find that my office was relatively cool to sit in, have a couple of bottles and exterminate two score flies.
Then I got back, showed Dumpling a film and cooked our chicken pasta. I ate about a quarter of my meagre portion but then she only ate half her adult sized one. It was more than I had eaten in the past four days combined so I was happy - pasta is great for energy.
After we had eaten but the film was still on I had a text from Molly (one of the elves in the Santa visit’s the kids in hospital on Christmas Day TV thing). Was I busy tomorrow? Why?
Now this is utterly typical of the Chinese. I get married tomorrow, will you come?!! I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! Yes of course I will go, I said, it will be my first Chinese wedding in all the time I have been here.
And then, now remember this is about 20 hours before the actual reception I was invited to - the sting in the tail. We would like you to make a speech!!!
Talk about giving someone space to come up with something to say??
It’s fine, of course I will go and certainly I will make a speech. All I can say is it is jolly good I have made plenty before and that I don’t suffer from stage fright.
So despite her omelette being deferred because I won’t be making it tomorrow, Alice will still get dinner as I have asked her to accompany me.
Now the protocol here is tricky. Molly told me just bring myself (and a friend) but do I show up at a wedding bearing no gifts? Apparently making a speech is enough. But of course being English I feel I should take something and with little time to sort it. I thought of a clock but that is absolutely taboo in China - bad luck. Most people give red envelopes with money in them but that’s not our way. So I am stymied as to what to actually do. Is gracing them with a foreign celebrity presence (which I am in this city without being big-headed ) and her folks being all excited after I agreed not only to come but also speak enough?
I would if I knew how and where, buy a plaque or something and have it engraved with their names but I am stuffed if I know where to have it done and anyway I have no time to go to town, then back and then to the hotel, I have other things to attend to as well. Dumpling asked her parents and they simply said give a lucky envelope but I explained that certainly Englishmen of my age prefer to give a gift, money seems so impersonal. Quandary after quandary in my life here.
I have charged the camera though, just hope I remember to take it.
I really hadn’t intended starting this one today.
After the hearty bowl of cornflakes the gurgling and cement mixing continued I am sure long after I actually fell asleep. It did though stave off collapsing from malnutrition for a while, which had I not, I think I may have had a little trouble.
Still had bellyache when I got up (and when you have one my size it has considerable effect) but eventually I showered and went to shop. The shopping list included chicken for Napolitano and pasta for Dumpling last night (remember I am typing this in the morning for those west of here) and more potatoes for Alice’s promised omelette and chips for today.
I have to say that all the bumpings of the bike over the speed humps on campus almost made me go back home to the refuge of the bathroom but I persevered. I spent nearly 1,000y today on my monthly cigars, shopping and of course Dumpling’s pay for cleaning. It soon goes.
It was flipping hot as well, I reckon about 30C and when I got back I was happy to find that my office was relatively cool to sit in, have a couple of bottles and exterminate two score flies.
Then I got back, showed Dumpling a film and cooked our chicken pasta. I ate about a quarter of my meagre portion but then she only ate half her adult sized one. It was more than I had eaten in the past four days combined so I was happy - pasta is great for energy.
After we had eaten but the film was still on I had a text from Molly (one of the elves in the Santa visit’s the kids in hospital on Christmas Day TV thing). Was I busy tomorrow? Why?
Now this is utterly typical of the Chinese. I get married tomorrow, will you come?!! I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! Yes of course I will go, I said, it will be my first Chinese wedding in all the time I have been here.
And then, now remember this is about 20 hours before the actual reception I was invited to - the sting in the tail. We would like you to make a speech!!!
Talk about giving someone space to come up with something to say??
It’s fine, of course I will go and certainly I will make a speech. All I can say is it is jolly good I have made plenty before and that I don’t suffer from stage fright.
So despite her omelette being deferred because I won’t be making it tomorrow, Alice will still get dinner as I have asked her to accompany me.
Now the protocol here is tricky. Molly told me just bring myself (and a friend) but do I show up at a wedding bearing no gifts? Apparently making a speech is enough. But of course being English I feel I should take something and with little time to sort it. I thought of a clock but that is absolutely taboo in China - bad luck. Most people give red envelopes with money in them but that’s not our way. So I am stymied as to what to actually do. Is gracing them with a foreign celebrity presence (which I am in this city without being big-headed ) and her folks being all excited after I agreed not only to come but also speak enough?
I would if I knew how and where, buy a plaque or something and have it engraved with their names but I am stuffed if I know where to have it done and anyway I have no time to go to town, then back and then to the hotel, I have other things to attend to as well. Dumpling asked her parents and they simply said give a lucky envelope but I explained that certainly Englishmen of my age prefer to give a gift, money seems so impersonal. Quandary after quandary in my life here.
I have charged the camera though, just hope I remember to take it.
Saturday, 14 May 2016
Saturday 14th May, 2016 0215
Yes Wednesday was certainly one hell of a day. One that left me with an unwanted legacy.
On Tuesday all I had eaten was one slice of vegetarian pizza. No malevolence there. Yet at the graduation dinner I consumed two chunks of cucumber and a chopstick full of cabbage. Nothing untoward there either. I did though have one king prawn and a small mouthful of fish that I did mention blew my head off.
Thursday morning I awoke late and felt a bit iffy. By the time I got to my classes my stomach was painful, so much so that I envisaged having to depart in haste at some point to go home to the refuge of my western toilet. There is no way in the world I could ever use the squat ones without being either covered in excrement or having to roll around in other peoples’ crap. If they installed straining bars I would at least have a chance…
I got through it and even managed to go to the office, albeit gradually feeling worse by the quarter hour but I thought I would perk up.. By the time I got home I was really dreading the evening. I had promised Alice I would make her omelette and chips and to finish off a film we had been watching. I got as far as peeling and chopping enough chips for her (there was no way I was going to be able to eat anything) and then I just gave up. I sent her a message apologising and asking if we could cancel. She got it just as she got to my door.
She was very understanding and it has to be said very concerned to hear me when she was washing my dishes. I was next door leaning over the toilet emulating a bull elephant in musk. God I felt awful.
Not a thing passed my lips that day and all I wanted was to sleep but I couldn’t because later both intake and exhaust were expelling my innards - and they are surprised that I cook western food for myself when I know it has been cooked properly!
When I did finally get to kip it was fitful both because I had to get up regularly to visit the loo and also because I must have had a temperature. You know when your temperature is up you get nightmares? I must have had thirty of them. I stayed put until almost midday yesterday and when I got up I had to text the people running the English Corner to warn them that it was a distinct possibility I may not be able to come and even if I did I might need to scarper in a hurry.
I hate letting the students down and have been to every one of their functions this year. I am the only one to do so and yet I have been sacked for being old. The panic that ensued via messages from the organisers was unprecedented. If I didn’t go they wouldn’t even have any teacher at all there, Chinese or foreign. Marvellous, and the class in question wasn’t even mine, it was Richard’s. As I said, I hate to let them down but I felt weak and generally uurrgghh so I said if I could, I would make it but if I had to leave urgently they had to understand. I went back to bed.
Luckily after a huge evacuation prior to leaving, I actually managed to stay the course even though I felt dreadful. Once again duty prevailed over adverse circumstances. Of course it was straight in the loo when I got back!
I could have made myself a plate of chips to at least eat something but I couldn’t face it. Thankfully I found some cornflakes and had a bowl of them later on. They are currently gurgling away below but hopefully another night’s sleep will see me at least able to go to town to shop. Whether or not to make jacket potatoes with chilli con carne for dinner is a sage move remains to be seen.
In the meantime I seriously need to go for that medical although I am trying to get permission to have it done here rather than Anqing. At least that way I don’t need to fast for so long and I can get Joan or another to come and walk me through it.
I wish for once my life wasn’t quite as “varied”!!!
Yes Wednesday was certainly one hell of a day. One that left me with an unwanted legacy.
On Tuesday all I had eaten was one slice of vegetarian pizza. No malevolence there. Yet at the graduation dinner I consumed two chunks of cucumber and a chopstick full of cabbage. Nothing untoward there either. I did though have one king prawn and a small mouthful of fish that I did mention blew my head off.
Thursday morning I awoke late and felt a bit iffy. By the time I got to my classes my stomach was painful, so much so that I envisaged having to depart in haste at some point to go home to the refuge of my western toilet. There is no way in the world I could ever use the squat ones without being either covered in excrement or having to roll around in other peoples’ crap. If they installed straining bars I would at least have a chance…
I got through it and even managed to go to the office, albeit gradually feeling worse by the quarter hour but I thought I would perk up.. By the time I got home I was really dreading the evening. I had promised Alice I would make her omelette and chips and to finish off a film we had been watching. I got as far as peeling and chopping enough chips for her (there was no way I was going to be able to eat anything) and then I just gave up. I sent her a message apologising and asking if we could cancel. She got it just as she got to my door.
She was very understanding and it has to be said very concerned to hear me when she was washing my dishes. I was next door leaning over the toilet emulating a bull elephant in musk. God I felt awful.
Not a thing passed my lips that day and all I wanted was to sleep but I couldn’t because later both intake and exhaust were expelling my innards - and they are surprised that I cook western food for myself when I know it has been cooked properly!
When I did finally get to kip it was fitful both because I had to get up regularly to visit the loo and also because I must have had a temperature. You know when your temperature is up you get nightmares? I must have had thirty of them. I stayed put until almost midday yesterday and when I got up I had to text the people running the English Corner to warn them that it was a distinct possibility I may not be able to come and even if I did I might need to scarper in a hurry.
I hate letting the students down and have been to every one of their functions this year. I am the only one to do so and yet I have been sacked for being old. The panic that ensued via messages from the organisers was unprecedented. If I didn’t go they wouldn’t even have any teacher at all there, Chinese or foreign. Marvellous, and the class in question wasn’t even mine, it was Richard’s. As I said, I hate to let them down but I felt weak and generally uurrgghh so I said if I could, I would make it but if I had to leave urgently they had to understand. I went back to bed.
Luckily after a huge evacuation prior to leaving, I actually managed to stay the course even though I felt dreadful. Once again duty prevailed over adverse circumstances. Of course it was straight in the loo when I got back!
I could have made myself a plate of chips to at least eat something but I couldn’t face it. Thankfully I found some cornflakes and had a bowl of them later on. They are currently gurgling away below but hopefully another night’s sleep will see me at least able to go to town to shop. Whether or not to make jacket potatoes with chilli con carne for dinner is a sage move remains to be seen.
In the meantime I seriously need to go for that medical although I am trying to get permission to have it done here rather than Anqing. At least that way I don’t need to fast for so long and I can get Joan or another to come and walk me through it.
I wish for once my life wasn’t quite as “varied”!!!
Wednesday, 11 May 2016
Wednesday 11th May. 2016 2115
What a day!
My alarm never went off at 0700 so Alice ended up waking me. A hasty shower ensued and then this lazy git decided to take the off-road option. It might have been fine on my own but with a passenger it ended up in disaster.
I dropped the bike (and Alice) in the mud and for the life of me I couldn’t get up until she helped me. Bloody trousers all muddy, ok so into the toilets to rinse it off and then out for two graduation photos.
Except that once we got there I felt most unwell. It was the closest I have come in my life to fainting. I had to sit down until the photographer was actually ready to proceed and then when I stood up to take my place I had to use two girls to steady myself. Embarrassing and a little frightening, the students wanted me to go to hospital - I really need that of course.
I rode home alone and managed half an hour’s kip before my first class. I am now convinced that for the first time in my life I am suffering from exhaustion. I truly thought I would crack my skull on the ground.
I recovered sufficiently to take my first class and would dearly have loved to get 90 minutes between the sheets at lunch break but of course I had my interview. The woman called bang on 1230. The interview lasted half an hour during which time she noted I smoked (you can’t smoke in class - I don’t, just outside in the break) and then she said I have to ask if you like alcohol. Lie or truth? Truth. I told her she had my CV and she could see I had been a sailor so there would be something seriously wrong with me if I never touched a drop. Oh yes, I have a cousin and he was a sailor and he drinks. Well better for them to know than find out later and I am not going to be furtive about what I do. I smoke, I drink but nobody in six years except Joan has seen me drunk and those were exceptional circumstances. I am not going to hide behind the bike sheds at my age. If they want a teacher who makes his students come alive then they hire me, if they want someone who goes by the book and bores them to death, fine, employ another one.
I sent the interviewer the link for my video about my life here, not knowing if it would be a good or bad move.
Anyway by the end of the interview I got the impression that if I pass the medical exam I have the job, this was later confirmed by the agency so unless I suddenly contracted cancer, HIV or AIDS then my future is assured at least for the 30 day probation period. I can sleep easy now because I have to say as time went on it was playing on my mind. This agency has been marvellous, which is more than can be said for the other, more “reputable” ones who have been worth less than a farthing.
So then I had the afternoon class. Absolutely knackered but got through it, went to the office for an hour waiting to learn what time everyone was leaving for the graduation dinner. No news, so went home to bed, texted Alice to say I was going to bed and to come to my home and wake me at the appropriate time. Oh no, she was going with her classmate. Fine. I had absolutely no idea where it was so I said ok go, I will stay home and sleep. Have a good night.
The most I was going to get was half an hour’s sleep but I never even nodded off due to a flurry of texts and calls I never answered. Eventually I relented - and honestly all I really wanted was to sleep - and Alice said for me to meet her by number 2 canteen. I did.
It turned out that three of my old classes were having their graduation parties in the same place, not 2km from the school. Ok different rooms for some reason (when all three could have been accommodated in one large one) but at least I got to go to three dinners on the same night. Sadly Yvonne’s class held theirs elsewhere. I really, really wanted to go to hers.
And yes, I shed a tear or twenty at each of the three bashes. I have known them all for four years and of course I should be happy they are spreading their wings but I am sorry, something inside me wants to keep them close, so yes I cried and what amazed me was that they WANTED me to! They were videoing my speeches on their phones to capture it! The Chinese teachers show no emotion whatsoever. Well they weren’t disappointed and I am not in the slightest ashamed. Those kids meant a lot to me. Doubtless tonight I am all over QQ and WeChat but honestly I don’t care. Years ago I could maintain a stony face at funerals but all that has changed with the love these kids shower on me. They don’t just tug on my heartstrings, they play the bloody banjo with them.
They will all either go on to take Masters degrees, start work as teachers, marry and a have kids or whatever and I wish them well in whatever they do. All I ask is that they remember the fat, loud foreign oral teacher they had as being the most interesting one during their education. If half of them do then I can have no finer accolade.
What a day!
My alarm never went off at 0700 so Alice ended up waking me. A hasty shower ensued and then this lazy git decided to take the off-road option. It might have been fine on my own but with a passenger it ended up in disaster.
I dropped the bike (and Alice) in the mud and for the life of me I couldn’t get up until she helped me. Bloody trousers all muddy, ok so into the toilets to rinse it off and then out for two graduation photos.
Except that once we got there I felt most unwell. It was the closest I have come in my life to fainting. I had to sit down until the photographer was actually ready to proceed and then when I stood up to take my place I had to use two girls to steady myself. Embarrassing and a little frightening, the students wanted me to go to hospital - I really need that of course.
I rode home alone and managed half an hour’s kip before my first class. I am now convinced that for the first time in my life I am suffering from exhaustion. I truly thought I would crack my skull on the ground.
I recovered sufficiently to take my first class and would dearly have loved to get 90 minutes between the sheets at lunch break but of course I had my interview. The woman called bang on 1230. The interview lasted half an hour during which time she noted I smoked (you can’t smoke in class - I don’t, just outside in the break) and then she said I have to ask if you like alcohol. Lie or truth? Truth. I told her she had my CV and she could see I had been a sailor so there would be something seriously wrong with me if I never touched a drop. Oh yes, I have a cousin and he was a sailor and he drinks. Well better for them to know than find out later and I am not going to be furtive about what I do. I smoke, I drink but nobody in six years except Joan has seen me drunk and those were exceptional circumstances. I am not going to hide behind the bike sheds at my age. If they want a teacher who makes his students come alive then they hire me, if they want someone who goes by the book and bores them to death, fine, employ another one.
I sent the interviewer the link for my video about my life here, not knowing if it would be a good or bad move.
Anyway by the end of the interview I got the impression that if I pass the medical exam I have the job, this was later confirmed by the agency so unless I suddenly contracted cancer, HIV or AIDS then my future is assured at least for the 30 day probation period. I can sleep easy now because I have to say as time went on it was playing on my mind. This agency has been marvellous, which is more than can be said for the other, more “reputable” ones who have been worth less than a farthing.
So then I had the afternoon class. Absolutely knackered but got through it, went to the office for an hour waiting to learn what time everyone was leaving for the graduation dinner. No news, so went home to bed, texted Alice to say I was going to bed and to come to my home and wake me at the appropriate time. Oh no, she was going with her classmate. Fine. I had absolutely no idea where it was so I said ok go, I will stay home and sleep. Have a good night.
The most I was going to get was half an hour’s sleep but I never even nodded off due to a flurry of texts and calls I never answered. Eventually I relented - and honestly all I really wanted was to sleep - and Alice said for me to meet her by number 2 canteen. I did.
It turned out that three of my old classes were having their graduation parties in the same place, not 2km from the school. Ok different rooms for some reason (when all three could have been accommodated in one large one) but at least I got to go to three dinners on the same night. Sadly Yvonne’s class held theirs elsewhere. I really, really wanted to go to hers.
And yes, I shed a tear or twenty at each of the three bashes. I have known them all for four years and of course I should be happy they are spreading their wings but I am sorry, something inside me wants to keep them close, so yes I cried and what amazed me was that they WANTED me to! They were videoing my speeches on their phones to capture it! The Chinese teachers show no emotion whatsoever. Well they weren’t disappointed and I am not in the slightest ashamed. Those kids meant a lot to me. Doubtless tonight I am all over QQ and WeChat but honestly I don’t care. Years ago I could maintain a stony face at funerals but all that has changed with the love these kids shower on me. They don’t just tug on my heartstrings, they play the bloody banjo with them.
They will all either go on to take Masters degrees, start work as teachers, marry and a have kids or whatever and I wish them well in whatever they do. All I ask is that they remember the fat, loud foreign oral teacher they had as being the most interesting one during their education. If half of them do then I can have no finer accolade.
Wednesday 11th May, 2016 0410
Nothing quite like going to bed three times in 12 hours is there?
Having promised Alice I would meet her at the station at 0115 I duly hit the sack at seven, having set my phone to go off at midnight. The alarm went off, I got up and after a few minutes I looked at the computer. It was showing 2110. So was my watch. What????
Ok so I made a mistake. I watched half an hour of TV and went back to bed. I tried to set my alarm for 2400 but it wouldn’t work so instead I made it 2359. Now my head is clearer I realise I should have tried 0000hrs. Anyway I fell unconscious again and only woke when Alice called me to ask where I wasat 0115! Well still in bed, obviously!
No idea what happened and hugely embarrassed. I hate promising something and then letting someone down. Thankfully with the bike I was able to collect her fifteen minutes later although given it is mid-May I have to say riding the bike was freezing!
She has been fed pizza, showered and is now sleeping in the spare room. Doubtless I will take her to the graduation photo in a few hours but today is going to be a whirlwind. First the photo, an hour break and then class, then the job interview, then another class and then the graduation dinner. Somehow I think by the end of today I will be somewhat jaded. And hopefully a little drunk when I bid farewell to what was my most active class after two years here - the ones that feature in my video. I still hate seeing my classes leave even though it should be more a case of opening the cage and letting the bird fly free.
It is doubly poignant of course knowing I also will be “graduating” soon.
On the job front, prior to the Suzhou job being brought up they had offered me an interview with a uni in the capital of Hebei province. Impossibly long name I can’t recall but they required me to return to the UK and reapply for a visa. At least £3,000 cost to me and simply not on. Pity because it pad a lot more but not that much more to cover that inconvenience.
The contract in Suzhou only has two sticking points. One is that they have a 15 day sickness get out clause (only time off here in 6 years was in hospital after an accident - not illness) and second was the first month’s probation at less than half pay.
The first I can handle, the second is taking the Mickey and is clearly aimed at 23 year old backpackers. Nobody takes the piss out of this old seadog. The third is that should they actually employ me, I will emend their Chinglish in the contract for free but I won’t tell them that unless they employ me. Might not happen but who knows?
Nearly 0500 now so tine for sleep three and two hours before the photocall.
Nothing quite like going to bed three times in 12 hours is there?
Having promised Alice I would meet her at the station at 0115 I duly hit the sack at seven, having set my phone to go off at midnight. The alarm went off, I got up and after a few minutes I looked at the computer. It was showing 2110. So was my watch. What????
Ok so I made a mistake. I watched half an hour of TV and went back to bed. I tried to set my alarm for 2400 but it wouldn’t work so instead I made it 2359. Now my head is clearer I realise I should have tried 0000hrs. Anyway I fell unconscious again and only woke when Alice called me to ask where I wasat 0115! Well still in bed, obviously!
No idea what happened and hugely embarrassed. I hate promising something and then letting someone down. Thankfully with the bike I was able to collect her fifteen minutes later although given it is mid-May I have to say riding the bike was freezing!
She has been fed pizza, showered and is now sleeping in the spare room. Doubtless I will take her to the graduation photo in a few hours but today is going to be a whirlwind. First the photo, an hour break and then class, then the job interview, then another class and then the graduation dinner. Somehow I think by the end of today I will be somewhat jaded. And hopefully a little drunk when I bid farewell to what was my most active class after two years here - the ones that feature in my video. I still hate seeing my classes leave even though it should be more a case of opening the cage and letting the bird fly free.
It is doubly poignant of course knowing I also will be “graduating” soon.
On the job front, prior to the Suzhou job being brought up they had offered me an interview with a uni in the capital of Hebei province. Impossibly long name I can’t recall but they required me to return to the UK and reapply for a visa. At least £3,000 cost to me and simply not on. Pity because it pad a lot more but not that much more to cover that inconvenience.
The contract in Suzhou only has two sticking points. One is that they have a 15 day sickness get out clause (only time off here in 6 years was in hospital after an accident - not illness) and second was the first month’s probation at less than half pay.
The first I can handle, the second is taking the Mickey and is clearly aimed at 23 year old backpackers. Nobody takes the piss out of this old seadog. The third is that should they actually employ me, I will emend their Chinglish in the contract for free but I won’t tell them that unless they employ me. Might not happen but who knows?
Nearly 0500 now so tine for sleep three and two hours before the photocall.
Tuesday, 10 May 2016
Tuesday 10th May, 2016 1700
Well my big day has passed and I still don’t feel as if I’m 60. I felt like 80 before and still do!
In fact right now I feel as if I should be expecting a telegram from the Queen. Being used to turning in at anything up to 0400 I wasn’t tired until the small hours and so by the time I had to get up at nine this morning I had managed a mere six hours between the sheets. I am paying for it now and despite my best intentions I will be grabbing a couple of hours shortly. That of course will see me unable to sleep at a respectable time tonight and I have to get up at stupid o’clock for that graduation photo, teach four lessons and then go to the graduation dinner. I will be a wreck tomorrow evening.
I took Dumpling to my dentist as promised. Whatever was wrong was obvious to them. She was seen by a bloke rather than my friend the female boss. I urged Dumpling to get an injection for the pain seeing as I was paying (might as well use what’s on my card seeing as I probably won’t be able to) and she was told the tooth had no nerve so it was unnecessary. Complete rowlocks because as soon as the drill went in she was in discomfort. I demanded she had an injection. Get this - she needs a filling. But she needs to go another four times to have it done! Ok, I have paid for the entire treatment (300y or £30) so she doesn’t need me to accompany her the other times but then the chap asked me if he could give me an oral inspection.
Fine, look inside my car crash of a mouth where the teeth are breaking off daily but you won’t do anything other than refer me to the hospital. He almost got to the point of giving me anaesthetic to extract what’s left of a canine until the boss (my bloody friend) stopped him. Do I drink? Yes of course. What is your blood pressure like? Fine, I take pills.
They needed to take my blood pressure first. No problem, long, slow, deep breaths and lo and behold it was 117/73 - for a sexagenarian that’s better than perfect. Back to the chair but then more mithering. In the end I didn’t even get a polish and scrape! And boy do I need one of those or the bleach treatment to get rid of the cigar stains.
They are shitting themselves in case pulling a tooth kills me. For God’s sake, if they knew all the injuries I have survived they wouldn’t think twice about extracting them all! The one thing I have been blessed with is a body that can stand no end of abuse. I told them I need several ivories removed (and would love a decent set of falsies) so they could take one out every week or fortnight. I don’t want loads at the same time because I take aspirin to thin my blood and it has happened before where people have bled to death in their sleep. One at a time…….
Nope.
I have now reached an agreement that I can go back but I am not sure if it is to take the recently snapped canine out (my passion for crackling is a killer) or to try and repair the chips from my incisors. I have promised not to drink before I go although I never said I wouldn’t afterwards. Fine, so I lean my head to one side to have a drink and for God’s sake they have cotton bite kits. If a tooth being pulled kills me then why didn’t all the other serious injuries?
I might go back on Friday morning. Dumpling is going on Thursday and if I am awake I may go with her.
When we left I took her for lunch. She was concerned she may swallow the cotton packing they had put in but I told her it wasn’t a problem. She had beef noodles, me a beer.
I simply can’t get over the fact they keep telling me to go to hospital for my teeth. It’s not going to happen. Imagine telling your work I am off for three days for dental work and a hospital bed? Maybe when I get really old they will just fall out…..
So I got Dumpling back well in time for her class this afternoon and then immediately took a number 29 back to town. This is why I am so tired, I have spent nearly three hours on buses today. All I really needed to buy was plonk because dinner is free tomorrow, tonight I will have frozen pizza from Tongling but I thought about Thursday and decided just maybe I would have omelette and chips (with prawn, cheese and mushroom filling of course).
I am debating what to feed Dumpling on Saturday though. Cheeseburger and chips is an option but I thought perhaps toad in the hole with onion gravy was an option. I buggered it up last time I think because I used too much milk. No idea why because in the UK when I made it it was great.
Oh boy, just had an email from the agency that told me a uni wanted me to go back to the UK to get a new visa. Now I am getting the hots. They have now replied with a possible job in Suzhou, Anhui province!
Joan’s hometown!
Who knows, everything may just fall into place………….
Well my big day has passed and I still don’t feel as if I’m 60. I felt like 80 before and still do!
In fact right now I feel as if I should be expecting a telegram from the Queen. Being used to turning in at anything up to 0400 I wasn’t tired until the small hours and so by the time I had to get up at nine this morning I had managed a mere six hours between the sheets. I am paying for it now and despite my best intentions I will be grabbing a couple of hours shortly. That of course will see me unable to sleep at a respectable time tonight and I have to get up at stupid o’clock for that graduation photo, teach four lessons and then go to the graduation dinner. I will be a wreck tomorrow evening.
I took Dumpling to my dentist as promised. Whatever was wrong was obvious to them. She was seen by a bloke rather than my friend the female boss. I urged Dumpling to get an injection for the pain seeing as I was paying (might as well use what’s on my card seeing as I probably won’t be able to) and she was told the tooth had no nerve so it was unnecessary. Complete rowlocks because as soon as the drill went in she was in discomfort. I demanded she had an injection. Get this - she needs a filling. But she needs to go another four times to have it done! Ok, I have paid for the entire treatment (300y or £30) so she doesn’t need me to accompany her the other times but then the chap asked me if he could give me an oral inspection.
Fine, look inside my car crash of a mouth where the teeth are breaking off daily but you won’t do anything other than refer me to the hospital. He almost got to the point of giving me anaesthetic to extract what’s left of a canine until the boss (my bloody friend) stopped him. Do I drink? Yes of course. What is your blood pressure like? Fine, I take pills.
They needed to take my blood pressure first. No problem, long, slow, deep breaths and lo and behold it was 117/73 - for a sexagenarian that’s better than perfect. Back to the chair but then more mithering. In the end I didn’t even get a polish and scrape! And boy do I need one of those or the bleach treatment to get rid of the cigar stains.
They are shitting themselves in case pulling a tooth kills me. For God’s sake, if they knew all the injuries I have survived they wouldn’t think twice about extracting them all! The one thing I have been blessed with is a body that can stand no end of abuse. I told them I need several ivories removed (and would love a decent set of falsies) so they could take one out every week or fortnight. I don’t want loads at the same time because I take aspirin to thin my blood and it has happened before where people have bled to death in their sleep. One at a time…….
Nope.
I have now reached an agreement that I can go back but I am not sure if it is to take the recently snapped canine out (my passion for crackling is a killer) or to try and repair the chips from my incisors. I have promised not to drink before I go although I never said I wouldn’t afterwards. Fine, so I lean my head to one side to have a drink and for God’s sake they have cotton bite kits. If a tooth being pulled kills me then why didn’t all the other serious injuries?
I might go back on Friday morning. Dumpling is going on Thursday and if I am awake I may go with her.
When we left I took her for lunch. She was concerned she may swallow the cotton packing they had put in but I told her it wasn’t a problem. She had beef noodles, me a beer.
I simply can’t get over the fact they keep telling me to go to hospital for my teeth. It’s not going to happen. Imagine telling your work I am off for three days for dental work and a hospital bed? Maybe when I get really old they will just fall out…..
So I got Dumpling back well in time for her class this afternoon and then immediately took a number 29 back to town. This is why I am so tired, I have spent nearly three hours on buses today. All I really needed to buy was plonk because dinner is free tomorrow, tonight I will have frozen pizza from Tongling but I thought about Thursday and decided just maybe I would have omelette and chips (with prawn, cheese and mushroom filling of course).
I am debating what to feed Dumpling on Saturday though. Cheeseburger and chips is an option but I thought perhaps toad in the hole with onion gravy was an option. I buggered it up last time I think because I used too much milk. No idea why because in the UK when I made it it was great.
Oh boy, just had an email from the agency that told me a uni wanted me to go back to the UK to get a new visa. Now I am getting the hots. They have now replied with a possible job in Suzhou, Anhui province!
Joan’s hometown!
Who knows, everything may just fall into place………….
Monday, 9 May 2016
Monday 9th May, 2016 2315
My 60th birthday and today it seemed as if everything was happening at once. Everything that is bar a sign of another job or the cats doing a bunk - they leave via the window but keep returning like bad pennies. I reckon the eventual withdrawal of food is my only hope.
Aside from countless messages online with salutations on my big day, Ollivier managed to interrupt my class by calling from France (took a few seconds to suss that +33 was France) but he kept it brief and called back later once I was in the office. Very thoughtful.
I then learnt the speech competition has been deferred yet again, good because as it was on Friday and I have an English corner I would have been busy. Dumpling has toothache so I will be getting up early in the morning to take her to the dentist, which will mean getting her back by two and then I will have to go back to town for my shopping. Amy from Tongling sent me a text telling me her class will have their graduation photo at 0840 Wednesday so I will have to get up ridiculously early for that, plus they are having their graduation dinner that evening. I just pray that none of my old classes choose Friday night for theirs because that will put me in a position, English corner or graduation dinner. So Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday are booked up and I am in the middle of job-seeking.
Joan came for the cheeseburgers tonight. They were ok but next time I will try a different herb to sage. Foolishly I cooked us both two and I could only eat one while she almost ate her brace. If Dumpling’s tooth is fixed I will do them again on Wednesday but just one each and with chips this time.
Joan also came bearing a gift of a wooden ship that plays a tune which now resides in my display cabinet. I will even keep the box so that when I leave I can make sure it doesn’t get damaged in transit.
The baby factory that is Mum is I am sure close to whelping yet again. Doubtless downstairs we will soon be treated to the mewling of half a dozen or so little furry bundles that tug on the heartstrings. It’s odd that despite being feral, she has never once growled at me when I have picked up any of her newborns. Perhaps she still remembers the night I saved her babies’ lives by ripping the locked shutter open when she was separated from them on a deserted campus some years back.
I am getting weary now so I shall finish my bottle of wine, watch Casualty and then hopefully be refreshed in time to get up to meet Dumpling. I hope she doesn’t need me to hold her hand in the chair - there’s a restaurant next door that serves beer!
My 60th birthday and today it seemed as if everything was happening at once. Everything that is bar a sign of another job or the cats doing a bunk - they leave via the window but keep returning like bad pennies. I reckon the eventual withdrawal of food is my only hope.
Aside from countless messages online with salutations on my big day, Ollivier managed to interrupt my class by calling from France (took a few seconds to suss that +33 was France) but he kept it brief and called back later once I was in the office. Very thoughtful.
I then learnt the speech competition has been deferred yet again, good because as it was on Friday and I have an English corner I would have been busy. Dumpling has toothache so I will be getting up early in the morning to take her to the dentist, which will mean getting her back by two and then I will have to go back to town for my shopping. Amy from Tongling sent me a text telling me her class will have their graduation photo at 0840 Wednesday so I will have to get up ridiculously early for that, plus they are having their graduation dinner that evening. I just pray that none of my old classes choose Friday night for theirs because that will put me in a position, English corner or graduation dinner. So Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday are booked up and I am in the middle of job-seeking.
Joan came for the cheeseburgers tonight. They were ok but next time I will try a different herb to sage. Foolishly I cooked us both two and I could only eat one while she almost ate her brace. If Dumpling’s tooth is fixed I will do them again on Wednesday but just one each and with chips this time.
Joan also came bearing a gift of a wooden ship that plays a tune which now resides in my display cabinet. I will even keep the box so that when I leave I can make sure it doesn’t get damaged in transit.
The baby factory that is Mum is I am sure close to whelping yet again. Doubtless downstairs we will soon be treated to the mewling of half a dozen or so little furry bundles that tug on the heartstrings. It’s odd that despite being feral, she has never once growled at me when I have picked up any of her newborns. Perhaps she still remembers the night I saved her babies’ lives by ripping the locked shutter open when she was separated from them on a deserted campus some years back.
I am getting weary now so I shall finish my bottle of wine, watch Casualty and then hopefully be refreshed in time to get up to meet Dumpling. I hope she doesn’t need me to hold her hand in the chair - there’s a restaurant next door that serves beer!
Sunday, 8 May 2016
Saturday 7th May, 2016 0120
Life just gets better.
First I have a cat stuck in the ceiling then a stray puppy in the bedroom. Then I have recruitment agencies telling me I am too old for another job and who I have to explain Chinese law to. It is unbelievable the rot I have had spouted at me from nationals here, who when confronted with the facts (Oh yes, I check their own government websites) then back off. They are always either looking for a soft way out of saying something unpleasant or alternatively simply stringing you along when all you want is the truth. If an agency can’t help me then they should bloody well say so and I can contact others!
I am not one for playing several parties off against each other. That works in the main in the west but here it seems to be the norm, as I am discovering now. I am really getting annoyed and anxious about my prospects even though I know deep down I will find a job. As time goes by and positions remain vacant, schools will get more desperate than me. To be fair, one of the agencies (the one I mentioned in the last entry) did say that the schools were impressed by my experience but worried about getting me residency due to age.
Anyway, all that worry aside, last night outside the concert my phone fell out of my shirt pocket, dislodging the back cover and battery. Not a problem, I simply reassembled it and it worked fine. Later I noticed the time and date were off and so reset them without problem. Turned it off in the small hours to kip with my overnight little black lodger and then at noon switched the phone back on. I never leave it on when I sleep, as I have said many times before.
Now the damned thing is driving me crazy.
On the hour, every hour, it is I assume telling me in Chinese what time it is! All day I have been looking at the settings and whatever and I cannot find anything that says it is going to be a vocal Big Ben. I mean, who the hell wants something in their pocket (especially as I wear a watch - rare in China) that announces to the world it is 1400 hours?
I am not the most technologically able person on the planet but I can find no function on the phone that activates it and all humanoid voices are in the off position. One more reason for me to switch it off when I sleep - unless I want to be woken every hour!
I will feel better when I have agreed terms with a new school. The problem is, the longer this goes on, the more I will start to open up to what they call language mills (international - or so called - that pay heaps more but own you for at least 40 solid hours a week) and I really don’t want that. If I want to do office hours (when you aren’t teaching you have to sit in a bloody office) then I will take an office job. Half the pay and reasonable autonomy suits me fine. And plenty of time off.
So today is supposed to see heavy rain. None in sight yet but I did cover the bike up. My only plan today is to cook the perfect pork chop dinner for Dumpling and at some point prior, go to the office to kill a load of flies.
I just wish the authorities would stop cracking down on VPNs - they are really making it difficult to catch up on Peaky Blinders now that series 3 has started and it had passed me by!
Sunday 8th 0041
Miraculously and equally as mysteriously as my phone started speaking to me on the hour yesterday, after being switched off when I went to bed it has not done so since. Kevin would have a field day - he always said I must have done something, pressed something whenever my laptop went wrong when I knew full well I hadn’t. Oh no, these things don’t suddenly do stuff on their own without someone pushing a button. Yes they bloody well do!
Today was indeed dismal and I was glad I decided to do little. Considering I was sweating yesterday in shirt sleeves, when I made my customary visit to the office I actually needed a jacket.
I had promised Dumpling her first ever roast potatoes and of course she got them. It is childish I know but I get immense pleasure here when I cook something that someone has never even heard of, let alone tasted. I knew she would like them because she now has a liking for chips. The pork chops were too thickly cut because even after two hours although they were cooked they were still a bit tough. However the roasties were great, as were the carrots and beans. I think they were string beans, must check.
What amazed me was how bloody easy it is to make apple sauce! God I wish I had thought of it sooner! In the UK is is so easy just to buy a flaming jar of it for maybe £2 when for the price of two apples, a bit of work, some sugar and cinnamon and you have something better! I swear people in the west are getting bone idle and if nothing else, China has taught me to do so many things from scratch. The apple sauce, pizzas, bread, ham and many other things our forebears did but we now simply pluck from a shelf in a supermarket.
Anyway Dumpling liked our “traditional” roast whilst watching “Alien” but I have yet to get her to eat the food in a western manner, that is, a bit of everything on the fork. She still persists in eating just potato or veg or meat solus. Joan on the other hand is a convert and for that I love her. I hate it when the Chinese tell me our food doesn’t taste of anything. Of course it doesn’t when eaten in isolation. She also has the unfortunate knack of asking me what is going to happen next in any film I show her. Whatever I show her I have now seen countless times but it is hard to get her to understand that if I tell her the alien will leap out at John Hurt’s face or later the baby will burst out of his chest it will ruin the film for her. I don’t mind explaining what has just happened in a film but not what is about to. Satisfyingly, she leapt back in her seat at the appropriate moments.
I thought I had done with English corners (not to be confused with speaking contests) but tonight I was asked to provide games this coming Friday. That surely has to be the last one of the year!
Oh yes, just before I left for the office this afternoon I thought I heard rain and it was pretty damned heavy. I got up to find said rain was actually entering my balcony, which is highly unusual unless there is a strong wind. Bloody foreigners! Andrei and Juliette above me were hanging out a quilt or something they had washed and not put through a spin and it was swinging on the bars above so the water raining down from it was coming in my place! In fairness they did stop when I threw some choice words upwards.
Life just gets better.
First I have a cat stuck in the ceiling then a stray puppy in the bedroom. Then I have recruitment agencies telling me I am too old for another job and who I have to explain Chinese law to. It is unbelievable the rot I have had spouted at me from nationals here, who when confronted with the facts (Oh yes, I check their own government websites) then back off. They are always either looking for a soft way out of saying something unpleasant or alternatively simply stringing you along when all you want is the truth. If an agency can’t help me then they should bloody well say so and I can contact others!
I am not one for playing several parties off against each other. That works in the main in the west but here it seems to be the norm, as I am discovering now. I am really getting annoyed and anxious about my prospects even though I know deep down I will find a job. As time goes by and positions remain vacant, schools will get more desperate than me. To be fair, one of the agencies (the one I mentioned in the last entry) did say that the schools were impressed by my experience but worried about getting me residency due to age.
Anyway, all that worry aside, last night outside the concert my phone fell out of my shirt pocket, dislodging the back cover and battery. Not a problem, I simply reassembled it and it worked fine. Later I noticed the time and date were off and so reset them without problem. Turned it off in the small hours to kip with my overnight little black lodger and then at noon switched the phone back on. I never leave it on when I sleep, as I have said many times before.
Now the damned thing is driving me crazy.
On the hour, every hour, it is I assume telling me in Chinese what time it is! All day I have been looking at the settings and whatever and I cannot find anything that says it is going to be a vocal Big Ben. I mean, who the hell wants something in their pocket (especially as I wear a watch - rare in China) that announces to the world it is 1400 hours?
I am not the most technologically able person on the planet but I can find no function on the phone that activates it and all humanoid voices are in the off position. One more reason for me to switch it off when I sleep - unless I want to be woken every hour!
I will feel better when I have agreed terms with a new school. The problem is, the longer this goes on, the more I will start to open up to what they call language mills (international - or so called - that pay heaps more but own you for at least 40 solid hours a week) and I really don’t want that. If I want to do office hours (when you aren’t teaching you have to sit in a bloody office) then I will take an office job. Half the pay and reasonable autonomy suits me fine. And plenty of time off.
So today is supposed to see heavy rain. None in sight yet but I did cover the bike up. My only plan today is to cook the perfect pork chop dinner for Dumpling and at some point prior, go to the office to kill a load of flies.
I just wish the authorities would stop cracking down on VPNs - they are really making it difficult to catch up on Peaky Blinders now that series 3 has started and it had passed me by!
Sunday 8th 0041
Miraculously and equally as mysteriously as my phone started speaking to me on the hour yesterday, after being switched off when I went to bed it has not done so since. Kevin would have a field day - he always said I must have done something, pressed something whenever my laptop went wrong when I knew full well I hadn’t. Oh no, these things don’t suddenly do stuff on their own without someone pushing a button. Yes they bloody well do!
Today was indeed dismal and I was glad I decided to do little. Considering I was sweating yesterday in shirt sleeves, when I made my customary visit to the office I actually needed a jacket.
I had promised Dumpling her first ever roast potatoes and of course she got them. It is childish I know but I get immense pleasure here when I cook something that someone has never even heard of, let alone tasted. I knew she would like them because she now has a liking for chips. The pork chops were too thickly cut because even after two hours although they were cooked they were still a bit tough. However the roasties were great, as were the carrots and beans. I think they were string beans, must check.
What amazed me was how bloody easy it is to make apple sauce! God I wish I had thought of it sooner! In the UK is is so easy just to buy a flaming jar of it for maybe £2 when for the price of two apples, a bit of work, some sugar and cinnamon and you have something better! I swear people in the west are getting bone idle and if nothing else, China has taught me to do so many things from scratch. The apple sauce, pizzas, bread, ham and many other things our forebears did but we now simply pluck from a shelf in a supermarket.
Anyway Dumpling liked our “traditional” roast whilst watching “Alien” but I have yet to get her to eat the food in a western manner, that is, a bit of everything on the fork. She still persists in eating just potato or veg or meat solus. Joan on the other hand is a convert and for that I love her. I hate it when the Chinese tell me our food doesn’t taste of anything. Of course it doesn’t when eaten in isolation. She also has the unfortunate knack of asking me what is going to happen next in any film I show her. Whatever I show her I have now seen countless times but it is hard to get her to understand that if I tell her the alien will leap out at John Hurt’s face or later the baby will burst out of his chest it will ruin the film for her. I don’t mind explaining what has just happened in a film but not what is about to. Satisfyingly, she leapt back in her seat at the appropriate moments.
I thought I had done with English corners (not to be confused with speaking contests) but tonight I was asked to provide games this coming Friday. That surely has to be the last one of the year!
Oh yes, just before I left for the office this afternoon I thought I heard rain and it was pretty damned heavy. I got up to find said rain was actually entering my balcony, which is highly unusual unless there is a strong wind. Bloody foreigners! Andrei and Juliette above me were hanging out a quilt or something they had washed and not put through a spin and it was swinging on the bars above so the water raining down from it was coming in my place! In fairness they did stop when I threw some choice words upwards.
Saturday, 7 May 2016
Saturday 7th May, 2016 0120
Life just gets better.
First I have a cat stuck in the ceiling then a stray puppy in the bedroom. Then I have recruitment agencies telling me I am too old for another job and who I have to explain Chinese law to. It is unbelievable the rot I have had spouted at me from nationals here, who when confronted with the facts (Oh yes, I check their own government websites) then back off. They are always either looking for a soft way out of saying something unpleasant or alternatively simply stringing you along when all you want is the truth. If an agency can’t help me then they should bloody well say so and I can contact others!
I am not one for playing several parties off against each other. That works in the main in the west but here it seems to be the norm, as I am discovering now. I am really getting annoyed and anxious about my prospects even though I know deep down I will find a job. As time goes by and positions remain vacant, schools will get more desperate than me. To be fair, one of the agencies (the one I mentioned in the last entry) did say that the schools were impressed by my experience but worried about getting me residency due to age.
Anyway, all that worry aside, last night outside the concert my phone fell out of my shirt pocket, dislodging the back cover and battery. Not a problem, I simply reassembled it and it worked fine. Later I noticed the time and date were off and so reset them without problem. Turned it off in the small hours to kip with my overnight little black lodger and then at noon switched the phone back on. I never leave it on when I sleep, as I have said many times before.
Now the damned thing is driving me crazy.
On the hour, every hour, it is I assume telling me in Chinese what time it is! All day I have been looking at the settings and whatever and I cannot find anything that says it is going to be a vocal Big Ben. I mean, who the hell wants something in their pocket (especially as I wear a watch - rare in China) that announces to the world it is 1400 hours?
I am not the most technologically able person on the planet but I can find no function on the phone that activates it and all humanoid voices are in the off position. One more reason for me to switch it off when I sleep - unless I want to be woken every hour!
I will feel better when I have agreed terms with a new school. The problem is, the longer this goes on, the more I will start to open up to what they call language mills (international - or so called - that pay heaps more but own you for at least 40 solid hours a week) and I really don’t want that. If I want to do office hours (when you aren’t teaching you have to sit in a bloody office) then I will take an office job. Half the pay and reasonable autonomy suits me fine. And plenty of time off.
So today is supposed to see heavy rain. None in sight yet but I did cover the bike up. My only plan today is to cook the perfect pork chop dinner for Dumpling and at some point prior, go to the office to kill a load of flies.
I just wish the authorities would stop cracking down on VPNs - they are really making it difficult to catch up on Peaky Blinders now that series 3 has started and it had passed me by!
Life just gets better.
First I have a cat stuck in the ceiling then a stray puppy in the bedroom. Then I have recruitment agencies telling me I am too old for another job and who I have to explain Chinese law to. It is unbelievable the rot I have had spouted at me from nationals here, who when confronted with the facts (Oh yes, I check their own government websites) then back off. They are always either looking for a soft way out of saying something unpleasant or alternatively simply stringing you along when all you want is the truth. If an agency can’t help me then they should bloody well say so and I can contact others!
I am not one for playing several parties off against each other. That works in the main in the west but here it seems to be the norm, as I am discovering now. I am really getting annoyed and anxious about my prospects even though I know deep down I will find a job. As time goes by and positions remain vacant, schools will get more desperate than me. To be fair, one of the agencies (the one I mentioned in the last entry) did say that the schools were impressed by my experience but worried about getting me residency due to age.
Anyway, all that worry aside, last night outside the concert my phone fell out of my shirt pocket, dislodging the back cover and battery. Not a problem, I simply reassembled it and it worked fine. Later I noticed the time and date were off and so reset them without problem. Turned it off in the small hours to kip with my overnight little black lodger and then at noon switched the phone back on. I never leave it on when I sleep, as I have said many times before.
Now the damned thing is driving me crazy.
On the hour, every hour, it is I assume telling me in Chinese what time it is! All day I have been looking at the settings and whatever and I cannot find anything that says it is going to be a vocal Big Ben. I mean, who the hell wants something in their pocket (especially as I wear a watch - rare in China) that announces to the world it is 1400 hours?
I am not the most technologically able person on the planet but I can find no function on the phone that activates it and all humanoid voices are in the off position. One more reason for me to switch it off when I sleep - unless I want to be woken every hour!
I will feel better when I have agreed terms with a new school. The problem is, the longer this goes on, the more I will start to open up to what they call language mills (international - or so called - that pay heaps more but own you for at least 40 solid hours a week) and I really don’t want that. If I want to do office hours (when you aren’t teaching you have to sit in a bloody office) then I will take an office job. Half the pay and reasonable autonomy suits me fine. And plenty of time off.
So today is supposed to see heavy rain. None in sight yet but I did cover the bike up. My only plan today is to cook the perfect pork chop dinner for Dumpling and at some point prior, go to the office to kill a load of flies.
I just wish the authorities would stop cracking down on VPNs - they are really making it difficult to catch up on Peaky Blinders now that series 3 has started and it had passed me by!
Friday, 6 May 2016
Friday 6th May, 2016 1900
I set the alarm for noon. No reason to get up earlier and I always find sleep and booze to be the best cures for a cold or mild illness. It seems to have worked a bit at least.
Of course I had forgotten about Shadow (yes, silly I know but I gave her a name, normally that means you keep them) and when I remembered, I spotted her sleeping on top of my trainers and socks. I couldn’t smell anything so I assumed she hadn’t taken a dump, although there was a lake at the foot of my bed which I never noticed until it was too late. Good job I use rubber sandals. I had allowed her into the bedroom because between her and the cats making a din I was never going to get any sleep otherwise.
She followed me to the bathroom and was thirsty so I turned the shower on for a second. I had to repeat this thrice as she licked all the water off the tiles. While I was actually taking a shower she started to cry - not because she was getting wet, although she could probably do with one and also flea treatment, but because (at least I hoped) she wanted to go outside.
Once I finished I opened the door and sure enough, off she trotted downstairs. I am glad because I won’t get attached and for sure were I staying I would have kept her, she was adorable. I haven’t seen her since although I did hear her yap a couple of hours ago but I don’t know where she was. For all I know she belongs to a Chinese teacher. I still have the problem of four cats who are obstinately refusing to do a bunk though.
It may come to the point where, once the current batch of food is exhausted, I stop feeding them. That will force them to search elsewhere with luck. It’s hardly cold now, I was sweating on the bus to town this afternoon and so it is the ideal time for them to strike out on their own. It will also save me money.
When I was waiting for the bus at 1330 Dumpling and a classmate approached me, having come from the business street. It wasn’t unreasonable for me to think they were also waiting for the bus and they very kindly stood close and sheltered me from the sun with their joint umbrella. When the bus did arrive they cleared off, presumably to go to class!
Dumpling will be rewarded tomorrow evening though. I have two thick pork chops, she will have her first ever roast potatoes and for the veg I chose carrots (safe) and what I hope are runner beans. I would have bought peas in pods but couldn’t countenance shelling huge amounts just to get a few peas. At least not when I am going to attempt to make apple sauce for the first time. It looks easy, I hope it is.
I am getting frustrated with the recruitment agencies at the moment. I know it is more problematic to find fossils teaching posts here but equally I know it is not impossible, they simply have to try a bit harder. I had to teach one how to suck eggs a couple of hours ago by proving to him there are plenty of other old foreign teachers still working in China - including sending him the China Daily link for a 66 year old Yank in Beijing.
In the meantime, Captain Will Wood (currently in Budapest for some reason, normally in Kiwi) put me on to a maritime university in Guangzhou he has worked at in the past in an advisory capacity. I have emailed them and would love the chance to be around future seafarers even if I have forgotten most of what I knew now!
For now though, an English type breakfast will be dinner for me soon. The tomatoes have been grilling for an hour so it’s time to get the rest on.
I set the alarm for noon. No reason to get up earlier and I always find sleep and booze to be the best cures for a cold or mild illness. It seems to have worked a bit at least.
Of course I had forgotten about Shadow (yes, silly I know but I gave her a name, normally that means you keep them) and when I remembered, I spotted her sleeping on top of my trainers and socks. I couldn’t smell anything so I assumed she hadn’t taken a dump, although there was a lake at the foot of my bed which I never noticed until it was too late. Good job I use rubber sandals. I had allowed her into the bedroom because between her and the cats making a din I was never going to get any sleep otherwise.
She followed me to the bathroom and was thirsty so I turned the shower on for a second. I had to repeat this thrice as she licked all the water off the tiles. While I was actually taking a shower she started to cry - not because she was getting wet, although she could probably do with one and also flea treatment, but because (at least I hoped) she wanted to go outside.
Once I finished I opened the door and sure enough, off she trotted downstairs. I am glad because I won’t get attached and for sure were I staying I would have kept her, she was adorable. I haven’t seen her since although I did hear her yap a couple of hours ago but I don’t know where she was. For all I know she belongs to a Chinese teacher. I still have the problem of four cats who are obstinately refusing to do a bunk though.
It may come to the point where, once the current batch of food is exhausted, I stop feeding them. That will force them to search elsewhere with luck. It’s hardly cold now, I was sweating on the bus to town this afternoon and so it is the ideal time for them to strike out on their own. It will also save me money.
When I was waiting for the bus at 1330 Dumpling and a classmate approached me, having come from the business street. It wasn’t unreasonable for me to think they were also waiting for the bus and they very kindly stood close and sheltered me from the sun with their joint umbrella. When the bus did arrive they cleared off, presumably to go to class!
Dumpling will be rewarded tomorrow evening though. I have two thick pork chops, she will have her first ever roast potatoes and for the veg I chose carrots (safe) and what I hope are runner beans. I would have bought peas in pods but couldn’t countenance shelling huge amounts just to get a few peas. At least not when I am going to attempt to make apple sauce for the first time. It looks easy, I hope it is.
I am getting frustrated with the recruitment agencies at the moment. I know it is more problematic to find fossils teaching posts here but equally I know it is not impossible, they simply have to try a bit harder. I had to teach one how to suck eggs a couple of hours ago by proving to him there are plenty of other old foreign teachers still working in China - including sending him the China Daily link for a 66 year old Yank in Beijing.
In the meantime, Captain Will Wood (currently in Budapest for some reason, normally in Kiwi) put me on to a maritime university in Guangzhou he has worked at in the past in an advisory capacity. I have emailed them and would love the chance to be around future seafarers even if I have forgotten most of what I knew now!
For now though, an English type breakfast will be dinner for me soon. The tomatoes have been grilling for an hour so it’s time to get the rest on.
Friday 6th May, 2016 0215
Well after constantly crying and keeping me awake (I did manage to grab his scruff at one point but failed to drag him from the ceiling space) Tigger finally got himself out at 0230. Fingers crossed, he has yet to repeat his mistake and I was able to cancel the maintenance man, just as well as I must have had a temperature. Although I never slept well I had really bad dreams and never got out of bed until my failsafe alarm went off at noon.
And boy did I feel awful.
So awful in fact that when I had my first class at two and only twelve of thirty students turned up (eighteen were rehearsing for the big show) I couldn’t have been more pleased. Film time but not of course until the lucky twelve had gobbled down the thirty pieces of bread pudding I had made for the whole class. So much for looking after your mates!
The next class only had three missing but by then I really only wanted to be back in bed so they were treated to half of “Avatar”. Well, half of them seeing as most of the buggers think I can’t see the glow from their phones reflected on their faces when they decide to watch something Chinese. I really didn’t care, I just wanted it over.
Afterwards I went to the business street to buy soap and jing jo and had a very swift beer. Normally I have two but Andrei had asked to borrow one of my pipes for a prop for their act. Having not used them for damned near six years I knew they were dusty and also that the mouthpieces were in different bags in my home so I needed to come up with the goods. Luckily I found the Falcon and a bowl, the more impressive Sherlock types would have taken longer seeing as the stems are in unknown locations.
It was only then that I decided to try and watch the show. I don’t do it for any other reason than they are our students and I know they put months of rehearsals into it. I also knew my absence would be noted. So I went.
I was guided by a student to sit right down the front on the left. Armed with Halls Mentholyptus (the first sign of a coughing fit and I was going to leave to avoid spoiling it for others), my camera and my “medicine” I duly plonked myself down, only two minutes later to be approached by Daniel (a Chinese administrator) who basically ordered me to sit with the leaders of the department in the centre seats. That can only have come from the new dean so fair play to her for that.
It was sad that in my final year here I was not to take the stage (although as it transpired, on the night I wouldn’t have had the best stage presence and would probably have had convulsive coughing) and it saddened me hugely. Never again will I sit in that auditorium nor entertain the students. My students.
Now I have to say that Joan asked me about the show afterwards. I think it is the worst I have seen. Why? It’s put on by the foreign languages department and for me certainly 95% of it was in foreign languages. Aside from Andrei and Juliette, the rest bar one song was all in Chinese! It dismays me that they don’t do the entire production in the foreign languages they teach here - why the hell do they have to do Chinese?
Needless to say most of it was incomprehensible to me. Andrei and Juliette did something in French and the only two words I understood were Manchester and Alors. They had subtitles on the screen but only in bloody Chinese. Whether it was well received by the natives remains to be seen.
Joan had simply informed me that she was “helping” with the show as part of the student union. She never said she was part of the fashion show and I was damned annoyed to look up on stage and recognise her in a burglar striped T-shirt strutting her stuff. It was all so quick that by the time I turned my camera on all I got was her back. She knows I am not best pleased.
Oh and I cancelled my Monday class and even got a student to tell the Auntie not to bother unlocking the classroom because of the speaking contest. Well tonight I got the scripts and also the information they decided to change the date but they don’t know when!
Typical China. Never take anything as written in stone.
Oh good heavens!
The worst thing possible has just happened. I heard a high-pitched yapping just now, went to investigate and a very (very) young black puppy bolted in. He or she is now in my bedroom tucking into some of my home made ham. I really hope I don’t tread in anything it deposits when I wake up for my senior visit to the toilet in the dark.
I really don’t need a dog this close to leaving!
Well after constantly crying and keeping me awake (I did manage to grab his scruff at one point but failed to drag him from the ceiling space) Tigger finally got himself out at 0230. Fingers crossed, he has yet to repeat his mistake and I was able to cancel the maintenance man, just as well as I must have had a temperature. Although I never slept well I had really bad dreams and never got out of bed until my failsafe alarm went off at noon.
And boy did I feel awful.
So awful in fact that when I had my first class at two and only twelve of thirty students turned up (eighteen were rehearsing for the big show) I couldn’t have been more pleased. Film time but not of course until the lucky twelve had gobbled down the thirty pieces of bread pudding I had made for the whole class. So much for looking after your mates!
The next class only had three missing but by then I really only wanted to be back in bed so they were treated to half of “Avatar”. Well, half of them seeing as most of the buggers think I can’t see the glow from their phones reflected on their faces when they decide to watch something Chinese. I really didn’t care, I just wanted it over.
Afterwards I went to the business street to buy soap and jing jo and had a very swift beer. Normally I have two but Andrei had asked to borrow one of my pipes for a prop for their act. Having not used them for damned near six years I knew they were dusty and also that the mouthpieces were in different bags in my home so I needed to come up with the goods. Luckily I found the Falcon and a bowl, the more impressive Sherlock types would have taken longer seeing as the stems are in unknown locations.
It was only then that I decided to try and watch the show. I don’t do it for any other reason than they are our students and I know they put months of rehearsals into it. I also knew my absence would be noted. So I went.
I was guided by a student to sit right down the front on the left. Armed with Halls Mentholyptus (the first sign of a coughing fit and I was going to leave to avoid spoiling it for others), my camera and my “medicine” I duly plonked myself down, only two minutes later to be approached by Daniel (a Chinese administrator) who basically ordered me to sit with the leaders of the department in the centre seats. That can only have come from the new dean so fair play to her for that.
It was sad that in my final year here I was not to take the stage (although as it transpired, on the night I wouldn’t have had the best stage presence and would probably have had convulsive coughing) and it saddened me hugely. Never again will I sit in that auditorium nor entertain the students. My students.
Now I have to say that Joan asked me about the show afterwards. I think it is the worst I have seen. Why? It’s put on by the foreign languages department and for me certainly 95% of it was in foreign languages. Aside from Andrei and Juliette, the rest bar one song was all in Chinese! It dismays me that they don’t do the entire production in the foreign languages they teach here - why the hell do they have to do Chinese?
Needless to say most of it was incomprehensible to me. Andrei and Juliette did something in French and the only two words I understood were Manchester and Alors. They had subtitles on the screen but only in bloody Chinese. Whether it was well received by the natives remains to be seen.
Joan had simply informed me that she was “helping” with the show as part of the student union. She never said she was part of the fashion show and I was damned annoyed to look up on stage and recognise her in a burglar striped T-shirt strutting her stuff. It was all so quick that by the time I turned my camera on all I got was her back. She knows I am not best pleased.
Oh and I cancelled my Monday class and even got a student to tell the Auntie not to bother unlocking the classroom because of the speaking contest. Well tonight I got the scripts and also the information they decided to change the date but they don’t know when!
Typical China. Never take anything as written in stone.
Oh good heavens!
The worst thing possible has just happened. I heard a high-pitched yapping just now, went to investigate and a very (very) young black puppy bolted in. He or she is now in my bedroom tucking into some of my home made ham. I really hope I don’t tread in anything it deposits when I wake up for my senior visit to the toilet in the dark.
I really don’t need a dog this close to leaving!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)