New Year's Eve 2018 0000

Yup, late but I'm on holiday.

After getting angry on Facebook about one of my friend's obsession with staying in the EU I decided to listen to YouTube music before turning in. It's not always great if you leave it on autoplay but it does often throw up songs from your past.

Then it played Neil Young and Four Strong Winds.

When I was at sea waiting for news of my father finally passing at the age of fifty or just over (I honestly don't know) I used to listen to it. He did die and not long after and for me it is “his” song.

But I remember being on the bridge with my little cassette player and headphones. It was 0200 and time for the lookout to have a smoko. Seafaring navigators will know that in those days it was time for the OOW to go outside in the Pacific in lovely weather and sit on the bridge wing with a cuppa too.

Well I sat there with the headphones on, certainly I wouldn't have heard any distress calls but in fourteen years I never heard one mid-Pacific. I sang along to the song and when it ended I took my headphones off and saw to my left Captain Tyrell leaving the bridge!

He was too much of a gentleman to come and reprimand me, although quite what he was doing coming to the bridge for a chat at that time is beyond me.

Shortly afterwards the ship received the fatal telex. I was in the officers bar and the electrical interference with the music system was apparent. I just knew. That was the one. No idea how but I had sat bolt upright in bed at the time I think he actually passed.

Five minutes later a cadet came and said the Captain wanted to see me. Ivan Tyrell was a gentleman, he started his difficult speech and I interrupted to save him. “My Dad's dead” I said. “Yes, I am sorry. Here” and with that he gave me a huge glass of gin and apologised because he had no tonic in his dayroom and it was neat. I never even tasted it going down. I was thousands of miles away and had said my last goodbye when I left to join my ship. They sent a lovely telegram to my Mum which I think somewhere I still have. Dad's birthday would have been two days ago.

Why am I telling you this? I am not sure. I do know that music can make me emotional. Certain songs evoke memories of times, people and places in my past. Young people have no idea because they haven't lived yet. Some possibly never will in the sense that they will experience life outside the humdrum ordered existence they are ordered to here. That saddens me. It saddens me when I learn they think travelling to Beijing is a huge adventure yet they have never been outside their borders.

I have my own problems yet I still fret about theirs. Maybe as someone described me earlier tonight, I am indeed a bear of little brain.

Sunday 30^th December, 2018 1110

Yesterday Jodie invited me for lunch. She is Annie's Chinese teacher, by which I mean she is not only Chinese but she teaches it, both in our university and elsewhere.

These days I am no more a lunch person than I am a breakfast person (except in hotels where I can get an English one!) so I was not expecting to particularly enjoy much beyond a couple of beers.

She took me to a new (to me) place called “26 Inches”. Despite the rather rude connotation I guessed perhaps it was a pizza parlour. I was correct and my heart sank – pizzas in China are very often less than satisfactory, Pizza Hut being a perfect example. Thankfully pizza was not all that was on offer, particularly when I asked her what they were like and she replied “so-so”. If a Chinese person says that, it's virtually a guarantee I will hate them.

Thumbing through the menu I came across several likely alternatives. Then I turned the page and encountered a sausage platter! Sausages here are dire but these were labelled as Bavarian, American and so on and they looked authentic. I had to try them but didn't want lunch to be purely meat, so ordered some cheesy, bacony potato skins. She selected meatballs and spaghetti.

The skins were delicious and there were far too many sausages but I ate more than I have for some time. Oddly the two I liked least were the American one and a Cumberland type one, the origin of which I know not. I made sure to get a doggy bag and in fact five minutes ago finished them off.

The occasion was slightly marred by the presence of an inordinate number of kids, many of whom were noisy and boisterous and appeared to be sans parents. Shortly before we left, Jodie asked a waitress what was happening, it turned out it was a primary school breaking-up party. The kids had been given pizza bases and they had put their chosen toppings on before returning them to the kitchen for baking. There were no parents, merely a few teachers, until as we left, the parents arrived and suddenly a thirty-foot long table became instantly full of adults and minors. I shudder to think how noisy it will have got once the food service got under way!

We then went to Caffe Bene, somewhere I had been meaning to try because I thought perhaps it was somewhere you could get a pannini or a toastie, but no, cakes, ice creams and coffees were all that were on offer. And beer and wine. Plus you could smoke upstairs. And it was warm, so warm in fact I yawned at regular intervals!

Considering we met at 1230 and our shared taxi dropped me off at home at 1800, our “lunch” had lasted five hours! It also gave me the information that a relative of hers has a business dealing in issuing visas of all denominations (for a fee). That knowledge and contact may very well prove to be handy when the time comes.

I have no idea what I will do tomorrow night although the likelihood is that I will be a boring old fart and stay home, possibly even being asleep as we enter 2019. However if you are going to celebrate the dawning of the last of the “teen” years then I hope you enjoy yourselves and emerge safe, unscathed and hung over.

Happy New Year!!

Friday 28^th December, 2018 2330

Ok, ok, so I was down. I never said I was out though, did I? I've been there before a few times, if battle is to commence I will decide when it does and it will be in April, four months away. I may win or I may lose but I will employ the biggest guns I can on my side.

I have no idea why I even want to try to fight, it's not as if I enjoy teaching adults who can't really grasp what I am saying but they tell me the students see me almost as a “deity” and they dare not speak in class. Well that's patent rot because if I am a God then when I plead with them to be active, surely in my “temple” they should supplicate and do so, right?

But I have an attachment. And also a pathological dislike of some bastard who has no idea what I do having control over whether I stay or not. That should only ever be in the remit of people who know my work or indeed me.

Stay tuned folks.

My God. This morning I dressed up a little bit more after yesterday's cold but from the relative warmth of home and with it still being dark outside I had no inkling we had had overnight the worst snow I have seen here in three winters.

Nothing in the way of drifts, probably half an inch. It's too cold at night to snow much (-17C) but hell it was freezing! And even the main roads were snowy so of course the bus was late and we were late getting to school. Janet called me at eight asking where I was because students were queueing outside my office waiting for their exams. The bus was still a mile away.

Considering she must have known there was snow and traffic would be held up I was not slow to point this out but had I not had to sit in the danger seat up front I may have have sleepily asked “what time is it?” before saying I was still in bed.

The danger seat is precisely that with Schumacker driving. Even he had to moderate his speed this morning but not enough to prevent me only being able to unclench my buttocks and stomach once we arrived. Given the increased braking distances I felt twenty feet between us and the vehicle in front when everyone was stopping and he wasn't was to say the least, insufficient.

So anyway, I got through the day, exams finished and I am now on my holidays until maybe mid-February.

Janet told me there was a big meeting of teachers this afternoon and I was dismayed. I didn't want to take public buses because I had my shoulder bag, my laptop and this time another bag with the fan heater. No point leaving it idle in my office for six weeks when I may need it here, especially when Alice comes to stay.

The “big” meeting ended at three and the school bus left with one passenger – me!

Friday night and snowy roads notwithstanding, we got back and I was home before six. I think many people avoided driving (they are crap as it is when the weather is fine) so all was well.

Annie was starving so came to bring me a gift from Dean Delia on Peili campus (I gave her a gift from Paris) of a two-piece Chinese cutlery set which was nice of her and Annie had yet more of my Christmas ham and cheese. She really knows how to manipulate me. I'm not doing a Marlow Monday this coming week but now because she is off to Guilin on Friday I feel I have to at least invite her (and Alice) to some simple fare Wednesday and Thursday. Probably spaghetti bolognese and I thought poached cod, dauphinoise and steamed veg. They can bugger off if they think I am cooking dessert!

Alice is going home tomorrow until Tuesday too. She will take exams after returning and once finished she will live here until we go to Chengdu. That I am really anticipating.

Life is still a wonderful thing. The elephant has been brushed aside for a few months. He may return and you will know when but he is in for a scrap!

Boxing Day 2018 1400

I was more prophetic than I realised in my previous post.

The meal itself went very well and the ham thankfully defrosted in time. I even made successful brandy butter AND lit the brandy over the pudding without burning the place down.

Unfortunately once everybody else left, Brenda tarried awhile. I wouldn't have minded but she imparted the information that her boss had implied that I would be finished here in the summer. All in all, a momentous day.

It has rather taken the sheen off things today and I am not in the mood for much today. Annie and Alice are coming in a while to make dumplings, I had suggested I also make my own version but can't be bothered. I could really do without the hassle of getting to know a new school and moving again. To be fair to Brenda she suggested I rally the support of the people on east campus to exert pressure and failing that, she would introduce me to another university here. I just don't need this at my age.

Kevin is seriously contemplating shutting up shop in summer too, relocating to the Philippines and his house there, probably doing some online teaching to get additional income.

Sometimes I hanker for a dull existence.

Christmas Day 2018 1120

Disaster looms.

Firstly, even after taking the ham out of the freezer yesterday morning it is still not defrosted properly! It is currently sitting in my office where it is warmest, hopefully six hours being “basted” by the fan heater will rectify matters.

Secondly, what a great Christmas present I got from Alice. She emailed me to send the message she received from Trip.com telling us our train to Chengdu has been cancelled by the rail company! They helpfully advised us to book another train. There are no trains with sleeper berths left, soft or hard.

There is only one way now to get there – fly. That's great but it has destroyed my hope of making Alice's first flight that little bit special because we will have to sit in economy. Business class tickets would cost me more than a return trip to London so there is no way I can justify forking out that much. At least her second flight will be what I intended.

I can but hope dinner later is a success. I still have to go and get the spuds, sadly still the awful Lanzhou specimens, the ones that prevented McDonald's from opening here for years because local government insisted for a time that they use them. Stephanie will arrive early to clean and prepare, due to there being six of us my dining table needs to come away from the wall for the first time. The pea soup I made last night is a little watery so I need to rescue that with a potato and thankfully I have a tin of processed peas (and cornflour if that doesn't work!).

Whatever happens, this Christmas is one I shan't forget for a long time!

Now, where's my jing jo..............

Christmas Eve 2018 2040

Most of the shopping is done, Alice came with me this evening. I am dubious about the parsnips though. We have just one and it is huge but she assured me it was a parsnip. I have never roasted one before and I can but hope. Doesn't look like a parsnip.....

Potatoes are still to be sourced. There is little doubt I will end up with Lanzhou Leftovers, crappy things that even parboiling sees them disintegrate. I was hoping the half-decent ones would come back in season but no luck. I have to make the best of it.

The soup is made. Acceptable but not to me. Not “peaey” enough. No more split ones here so in the morning I will use my tin of processed ones in hope and chuck in a spud to thicken it. I need to bake a loaf too, the baguettes that are out of date are not up to scratch.

Families all over the world have someone fretting over such things right now. I would love to say I am immune but last night was a horror. I woke up in the dark and panicked because I couldn't feel my phone. It wasn't there simply because I don't need the alarm until Thursday! I thought I had to go to teach.

And then there were the weird dreams. I had started at a new campus and some arsehole came into my class and berated me for my teaching and God knows how that came into it, my catalogue deliveries! All this in front of the students.

When I awoke I was ready to go into battle with this school bigwig, it was that realistic. Stupid really, in real life I would never allow anyone to dress me down anywhere other than in private!

And it simply has to be because I am cooking for five others tomorrow. Bloody idiotic seeing as I cook for four of them weekly anyway and they love my food. But I know they are expecting a Christmas dinner to email home about and not just bolognese and apple pie. They won't get that. I know it, so why the disturbed nights??

Anyway, no snow here, I haven't seen a Christmas tree, tinsel or anything Christmassy in the shops. Now I am not against such things but I am glad, certainly in the UK they overdo it with festive stuff starting in October.

No tree here. Crackers yes and with luck good food and booze. Company and again with luck (and hats from the crackers) a good time for four people far from home and the two who aren't but who have never celebrated a western Christmas.

So for the final time this year, to all my readers wherever you are and whoever you are with may your day be joyous and the food at least be edible.

Now if I had the money I would go to Russia as their Christmas day is on the 7^th January!

Merry Christmas and remember it is NOT Happy Holidays!!!

Friday 21^st December, 2018 2230

It's late I know but I am trying to stay awake to avoid waking in the dark in the morning. Plus I fell asleep at my desk watching the third and final episode of a slave series on the BBC.

I already knew my job here in Lanzhou was a parody, at my age in China I should be retired already but this week it really hit home.

I have just finished the first of two weeks of exams. Now do not misunderstand me, I love finishing before their “real” exams begin, it's a fortnight's extra holiday.

This time I made it so easy for them and so easy on my conscience to pass them all. Gave them a choice of their own passage to read (hardly oral English but I must adapt) and naively thought I would be regaled with passages from Dickens and the like.

It started well on Thursday morning when nobody turned up. When they did the spokesgirl asked what they were supposed to do!!!! Well, three weeks ago I told you to choose a passage and then the next week I reiterated and asked if everyone understood and the class said yes. I keep my hair short, not because of this but it is fortuitous as I couldn't grasp it to tear it out by the roots! That class then rapidly got out their course book and chose random things we'd already done. Despair.

The point of the exercise was to give them three or four weeks notice so they, in the typical Chinese way, could choose their text and practise it. Some did. In fact a lot seem to be regaling me with exactly the same articles they found online. I have been for the past two days either listening to monotonic readings from what they printed off or to my joy, the odd one who committed it to memory. If I hear about mid-autumn festival, Chinese youth being entrepreneurs or some bloody ton in NW Gansu again I will scream!

It is soul-destroying. The odd one with half-decent English stands out but not one so far has achieved eighty. I know I cannot apply the same standards I would for English majors but even by my now far lower standards of passing everyone I have hit a new low. My very last student today was a boy who couldn't even read what he'd written!

I am now seriously doubting whether I am in fact doing anything to improve the students' English on the little campus or whether in fact I am simply treading water, taking the salary and the very generous holidays and working hours and biding my time until retirement.

I'd honestly rather have English majors again. I am wasted right now and they have young Peace Corps volunteers, who I must say are more active but have less empirical knowledge.

Ho hum.

As for our Christmas dinner, it is bad of me to say so but it's the truth, Nordine cannot come because he will have visitors. I am glad because I don't need to make an alternative for him to pork. When you are working with an oven the size of a large microwave it does somewhat limit capabilities!

Instead I have invited Brenda from Foreign Affairs (she pulled out last time because she had a cold) and I think she has accepted. She's not the director but the workhorse looking after we laowei and I know she puts in a good word for me at contract renewal time. It's all about guang xi here in China and needing another three years after next summer, I can use all of it I can get.

I reckon she may well be shocked, pleased, stunned and amazed in equal measure if she makes it. It will definitely be English/western and like nothing she knows, it's Christmas after all. I'm even thinking of playing a prank on her by making everyone bow their heads for grace, I am an agnostic.

Just got an email, she is coming.

It may well be that I shall have the opportunity to post again before Christmas Day but just in case I don't I would like to thank my readers for continuing to do and for continuing to amaze me with the number doing so. These are just the ramblings of a nearly-oap in a land the complete opposite to his own and yet it never ceases to amaze me that people read the stuff I roll out!

So thank you again and wherever you are and whatever you are doing for Christmas day, be it sailing, working as a policemen, doctor, fireman, nurse or anything else we still need or indeed if you are off and just looking forward to the dinner on the day and the family row afterwards – Merry Christmas!

Tuesday 18^th December, 2018 1645

Well the mystery of the beer delivery has been revealed. It was sent to me by Rabbit, one of my old students, she sent me a load of yoghurt last year which I knew about, this time it was a surprise but I think she knows which I prefer!

I hadn't seen her since her graduation party (2014 maybe) until summer this year. She is now living and working in Shanghai and this time she was able to come and join the gang one evening. It does somewhat surprise (and delight) me at the number of my old students who actually keep in touch, albeit sporadically.

Last night's dinner was well received, the soup was a hit and amazingly so was the bread I made on Sunday night. French it certainly isn't but then again it doesn't taste like cake either! The macaroni au gratin was eagerly devoured (only a quarter of a portion defeated them) although it didn't taste particularly cheesy. Mild cheddar was not my choice, it was simply the only cheese available bar camembert, some of which I have reserved for Christmas dinner, and of course my rare treat, a bottle of port!

After dinner we sorted out Annie's phone. For fifteen months she has been unable to access any social media other than Chinese domestic ones. She cannot afford a VPN and she asked me last week if she was able to access mine. I immediately said “no” because although she could, only one device was permitted to be connected at a time and I hardly want to be denied access as and when I want it considering it costs me $99 a year.

Well the next day I decided to investigate how much it would cost to add another to the account, hoping perhaps it would be discounted to a small fraction of my own bill. Lo and behold, they have changed the rules! You can now have three devices connected simultaneously! It seems you can perm it anyway you like between pcs, phones and ipads and there is no extra charge. Someone left as a very happy person, able at last to access Instagram and YouTube.

At about 1000 this morning I was in my study when I heard Alice shouting for me to open the door quickly! As at that time I did not know who the beer donor was, so I wondered if she was staggering with yet another case of lager. She wasn't. It was the ham and at 4kg was hardly strenuous to carry but the need for haste was because she had to get back on campus for her next class which started in ten minutes. Bless her, she remembered I had told her it would arrive frozen and had requested she bring it immediately so I could keep it that way. Jinkou despatch stuff like that with icebags and pack them in polystyrene Eskies so it would have happily waited until lunch time, especially bearing in mind the current temperatures.

It solved the conundrum of what to have for my dinner tonight because I had to empty the largest drawer of my freezer to accommodate it! A half an inch longer and I would have had real problems. I don't know whether I am disappointed or not though, for I ordered it on the bone and it isn't. That fact is in large part my own fault, for when I pre-ordered it, it was ¥578 for 3.5kg. Later I noticed they also do a boneless one weighing 4kg which cost slightly less.

Take the bone out and what I ordered at first would yield perhaps 2.5kg of meat, so I emailed them and asked if I could swap. In so doing I unwittingly alerted them to an error on their website, for the boneless is actually 3.5kg and today when I checked, the on the bone one is 5kg! The chap who deals with me said he thought the bone-in should read 4kg but he knew they had a 4kg boneless too, the biggest they had. I replied that he may as well leave the order as it was originally and left it at that. Somewhere along the line I still got switched and now both versions are out of stock anyway, they are specially ordered for times such as now, thanksgiving etc.

But by God have I got a lorryload of ham! I reckon I will be making ham baguettes, Hawaiian pizzas and everything hammy for weeks! And probably resort to giving the others slices to take home to make sandwiches themselves. I hope it's good stuff.

Sunday 16^th December, 2018 1545

I know of no reason why I should still be amazed at the capacity the young have for sleep, although I cannot recall a time when I myself regularly stayed abed for nine hours or more. Yet Alice, without fail, manages to shove eleven or twelve hours under the covers every time she is here.

Not long after she surfaced I received a telephone call from an unknown number and the caller only spoke Chinese. It is almost a daily occurrence here to receive unsolicited calls trying to sell one a car, house, internet data and so forth and my response, depending on my mood, is to either simply hang up or demand they speak English, the latter usually means they hang up.

I was somewhat surprised to receive a text two minutes later from the same phone, in Chinese of course, and asked Alice what it said. “Your delivery has arrived”.

That was rather perplexing for the simple reason I never give my phone number when ordering online here. Their calls and texts announcing arrival are always, as this morning, in Chinese. Alice orders my Taobao stuff on her account and thus gets notification. The only thing I have ordered is the ham for Christmas and I know full well I provided Alice's number, not mine.

Doubting myself, I got Alice to call, wondering if I had erred and the ham, which is not due until Tuesday, had arrived early. But no, apparently it was beer. The courier couldn't wait and was leaving it at the photocopying shop. Thinking perhaps someone had sent me a can of Guinness or two I asked Alice to go and collect it because the shop doesn't speak English either.

And therein lies the mystery of the day.

To my surprise she staggered back with not a couple of cans but a case of twenty-four large tins of Suntory beer. Not a clue on the label as to who had sent it, no sender's number and of course having been ordered online, not even a clue as to where my donor is based. No chance of doing a Sherlock.

I may find out sometime who my benefactor is – I have sent emails to possible suspects – and don't get me wrong, it is very welcome indeed!

Having made a roast last night (oh yes, remember the “not four potatoes” comment? After I last posted I got a text saying “I am sooooo hungry! I just finished CET6” so good job I ignored her) I couldn't be bothered to go to much effort for myself this evening. I thought I might pop around the corner for some barbecue stuff but then decided as I had spotted some dhal I had forgotten about, I could make a carrot and lentil soup, bake my own bread and then use what's left as one course for tomorrow. Every excuse not to have to make a dessert and just buy ice creams instead! If the dhal has not gone off......

Saturday 15^th December, 2018 0915

So my final online Christmas shopping has been ordered and all delivered, with the exception of the big tub of Quality Street which should arrive this weekend or early next week. The smoked ham is slated to arrive on Tuesday. I doubt I will be able to resist trying a slice before the Day!!

For once I had a stroke of luck, being informed in advance (I almost passed out) that my Friday afternoon class was cancelled as they were preparing for CET4, one of the College English Tests they must pass regardless of their major. I suppose that in the absence of any desire to learn or improve their English, that should really be the reason anyone attends my classes.

Not only did that mean I finished at noon yesterday (most fortuitous because I had a rare stomach upset) but I was also forewarned that the CET4 & 6 tests were taking place today. Rather than spending ages rebooting my laptop and router in my efforts to connect to the internet, I knew I would lose connection between 0800 and 1700 or 1800.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting watching ITV in my study when I heard the door of the flat being unlocked. Only two people have a key, I am one and Alice the other. I guessed she was either coming to shower or more likely, drop off my online shopping. It was the latter and she received a shock when she opened my office door and saw me, I should have been at work!

Three pouches of cocoa powder for making chocolate cakes (but which she immediately asked if it was possible to make a hot chocolate drink with! Guess what I will have to make for her tonight when she comes to stay over?) and a large box that could only be the Ritz crackers.

I had asked her to order three boxes, or four if my understanding was correct and that four received free delivery. There were EIGHT! I accused her of pressing “send” twice again (she has previous, I have two years supply of rosemary as testament) but no, unusually not only was there free delivery but another four boxes plus a pack of wafers thrown in gratis! Is it just me though or have Ritz become markedly less salty over the years?

As it happened I felt ropy all day yesterday and turned in unfashionably early, particularly as I had no need to get up this morning. No idea when I woke but I gave up at just past five. With luck I may be able to nap this afternoon and it allowed me to check emails, news etc and download from iPlayer before the connection was severed.

I need to pop out and go around the corner in a while, Alice has requested dinner at 1930 after she showers here and I fancy a roast chicken dinner with homemade stuffing balls. Unusually for a Chinese student she doesn't have a particularly voracious appetite, hearty but not excessive. When she learned there would be roast potatoes she rolled her eyes and said, “Potatoes? Ohhhh......” and I pointed out with a roast dinner, rice or pasta do not go. “Just don't give me four please?”

I haven't told her she normally only gets one potato which has been quartered. And they are so cheap I am not bothered if some are left. Mind you, I am praying that maybe decent potatoes will come back in season in time for the big dinner.

Monday 10^th December, 2018 2020

Ok, so tonight we had cheesy Captain's pie which was actually damned good, so good that four people ate the lot. And I don't eat that much. Stephanie was absent, having taken to her bed in pain. She visited Tianshui at the weekend and met with a mishap.

Nobody knows exactly what happened (including her because she was pissed at the time) but I gather she is now sporting stitches in her thumb.

Anyway, after trying to slice my own thumb off last night, I enlisted Alice's help tonight in the furtherance of her cooking lessons. She also got to make English Shrove Tuesday pancakes for dessert. If she perseveres, one day she may be able to prepare a meal without my guidance and when that day comes I will be monumentally delighted. Then I can teach her how to wash up afterwards.

Eli had to take a powder early due to having a class – one that he takes rather than delivers – but not before devouring two pancakes. And the first one is always shit. No idea why but it seems to be the universal opinion. Maybe Mum used to dump the first one on pancake day. Or maybe she gave it to me!

I now find myself in the position of having Annie and Alice coming at 1700 tomorrow to use my equipment to make “snickerdoodle” or “doodlesnicker” cookies to give to students. No idea what they are, merely that my ingredient cupboard will be sorely depleted and I will probably be expected to produce some form of dinner to boot.

Trust me, I need to do a supermarket shop, chemist run for my monthly drugs, get some laundry done and clean up after tonight so if I do make something it will be as simple as mince and potatoes! I made it Marlow Monday so that Tuesday and Wednesday I could relax. Ho hum. Only three weeks of term left.....

Kevin contracted pneumonia a month or so ago. He seemed to think it was the cold weather (I did in fact set him right as to it being unrelated to cold weather) in Huangshan. Being further south the temperatures are between seven and ten degrees higher than here ( lately our highs have been -4C) he still loathes even the short, warmer winters and is once again thinking of relocating to his villa in the Philippines next summer. He says 9 years in China is enough.

Well I have spent eight years here and if I am honest, three years where I am now is enough but that's because I am saddled with non-English students. Yes, it IS frustrating. Yes, it IS soul-destroying. But the sinecure is light on workload and to be honest I simply need three and a half years' more gainful employment before I can be financially free and plan my golden years. Whether to simply retire, go into business with Joan or whatever has yet to be decided but I will not be tied to a pay cheque then.

I think I am undergoing “brown-out” now. Not because of China but because I am teaching students far below my level. Loyalty has always been my downfall yet now the two-day working week is most suitable! Do I really want to move schools or even campuses? Take on a heavier workload for the same money? Maybe even a different curriculum? Or do I want the challenge of students who are actually studying English?

I know. It sounds like moaning but it's not. I'm not rummaging in bins for food and I am warm at night. Like everything in life, it could be better. The Peace Corps contingent have the students I want but five day weeks and such things as literature and writing classes. Sod that. I think I shall ride my own particular horse to the finish line unless it throws me first. THEN if I can find another position I will be aiming for the highest salary on offer.

Sunday 9^th December, 2018 2310

First things first. A reader commented on the wedding video (after mentioning the adverts at the start!) on the bride spending most of her first hours of marriage lighting cigarettes for old blokes. I had to admit I was unaware of not only the custom but also the meaning, although I had a fair guess and I was right. It is quite simply the showing of respect to others. She'd probably be pilloried of jailed in the UK or USA for inciting smoking but thankfully we puffers aren't lepers here. Yet!

On Friday the foreign teachers were invited to a Chinese/Romanian concert in aid of Co-Operation With Foreign Countries. I was annoyed with myself because after uploading the other stuff to my computer (video will hopefully be posted to YouTube after Eli splices it) and charging both batteries on the camcorder, I forgot to take it! I am now glad. It was buttock-clenchingly boring and funereal.

Another thing I think I forgot to mention. A few weeks ago I made coffee cake after Annie asked if I could give it a crack. She wasn't actually at the dinner when I produced it because her Mum was here and I wasn't allowed to meet her because I smoke. See, the Septics even filter in their own “values” here. Having sent some of it to her via Alice after dinner the feedback was that she didn't really like it, neither did Mum. I assumed it was because without ice cream it was dry. I recently discovered it was because it wasn't coffee cake!!! Well, not her version.

Being British I feel it not unusual to think banana cake has bananas, carrot cake carrots and coffee cake, well, coffee.

Not in Merca!!!

Oh no. What they call coffee cake is actually cake to have with coffee!!

And they think I am eccentric.

Last night Eli's host family invited me again for a meal, this time Peking duck was promised. Not the best I have ever had but I must say it was up near the top of the league. There were plenty of other dishes as well but I concentrated mostly on those pancakes with Donald and salad. Oh and the jing jo the host very kindly provided. I haven't the heart to tell him I wouldn't mind a beer or two first to hydrate!

It's potty season now for flights in China. As you know, I am taking Alice to Chengdu in January. I could have held my nerve for flights, the nearer to the actual date, normally the cheaper it is. Flying economy, no problem but business/first seems to be maintaining high prices right through from a week's time right through to when we fly. And the flight I wanted was showing just two seats left sitting behind the driver. I had to take a gamble that not only would there be no seats later and that either way the prices would be the same or higher.

Were it just me I would have waited but I want to make Alice's first time above the clouds special. I have one nagging doubt which I hope doesn't come to pass. Air China are/were selling both first and business class tickets on an A320 when their seating plan only shows the forward cabin and economy. If we do not end up sitting in two of those eight seats up front I am going to be most unamused.

Tonight Alice and Miranda came for a bite, for the first time in over a year I made pizzas (seafood) and they were pretty damned good. They are not practical to make for five people at the weekly gathering as I can only do two at a time. I suppose I could buy a big baking tray and make one big one to serve while another cooks.......

Tomorrow is once again Marlow Monday. Admiral's pie is on the menu followed by English (not Yankee) pancakes with lemon. Alice wants to come after her lunch to help, most opportune after a rare accident tonight chopping a green pepper when I sliced off the side of my thumb. With taking aspirin to thin the blood I bleed copiously and seeped through both the first and second plasters. It has stopped now but I daren't remove the stained dressings in case it starts again.

I have also decided to have yet another treat at Christmas. A tub of Quality Street! Probably you can buy 4 for 1 in Tesco but here it will cost me about £15 for one. Oh, and some Ritz crackers, sightings of which in China occur about as often as I see a dikdik..........

Wednesday 5^th December, 2018 1715

Monday saw the opening ceremony of Arts week and I was delighted to discover it didn't start until 1430 so no 0500 start for me!

If I am honest it wasn't up to the standard of last year although it was still entertaining. I even managed to get my video camera to record it and if I can suss how to join all the clips into a single film I may even upload it to YouTube when I get a chance.

Winter is well and truly here. Today I went in search of cheese and the outbound bus never had any heating. Oddly, rather than being warmer in the city it was far colder! My cheese hunt was only partially successful, I found cheddar but they only had low fat or mild, no mature to be had. 200¥ later I had three lots of mild plus a camembert to complement my port at Christmas dinner.

Talking of that, I have now spent so much on it I am bankrupt in China and with payday a few days hence will now have to dip into my UK account. That ham when it arrives had better be damned good!

Remember Mulan? She and her siblings cared for me when I broke my pelvis in Chizhou. I have had the odd sporadic contact from her over the past few years and have never forgotten her giving up her Chinese new year's day to come to my aid. I have always had a soft spot for her (despite the threats of her ex and his cutting a cable on my e-bike) because her family had the worst of times, they went to school one day and returned to find both their mother and father had run away. An uncle took them in and raised them, foregoing any chance he had of ever marrying himself.

Well a few months ago she called me from a Shanghai-bound train to tell me she was pregnant and would have to marry her new boyfriend soon, after which they would be going to live and work in Shanghai. She lost her iPhone and therefore never got my email inviting her to meet up in Shanghai in the summer but when she bought a new one she emailed me back.

She sent me her wedding video. Finally this afternoon I had time to watch it. For me it was moving because I was so glad she finally found happiness. She had always been troubled because she felt it her duty to help provide for her younger siblings, a weighty responsibility on young shoulders. Also, the marriage took place in Chizhou so I recognised most of the locations.

I am providing the link should anyone have a spare 27 minutes and who is interested in an authentic rural Chinese wedding, which is quite different from a western one. The groom is required to go and “claim” his bride and on arriving where she is living, is denied access by the bride's friends whilst he tries to give lucky envelopes and utter entreaties to be allowed to see her.

And do you know what? I wish I could have been there. It wasn't a high-society bash but for all that, it looked a happy affair and I would have loved to meet the uncle who sacrificed his own chance of marital bliss to rear children who were not his own. And shake his hand.

I am hoping to make it to Shanghai again next summer and you can bet if I have anything to do with it, Mulan and I shall meet again.

https://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzg1NjgyMjc0MA==.html?sharefrom=iphone&sharekey=799b8f1a312d98d23b632252ff29494f5