Monday 28^th December, 2020 1845

Boxing day was a day off and I had intended to get some wine from BHG but I procrastinated too long and ended up doing so after my class yesterday. That was after I had paid a visit to McDonald's for that double burger and German sausage thing they do – the one where the sausages shrink year on year!

It looks as though the decent spuds are back so I also bought them plus a carrot and green beans. This is going to sound odd but I actually quite like bubble and squeak with a couple of poached eggs and it is something I can make enough of for two or three dinners. I am too tired when I get home at nights this term but with luck, seeing as I don't start until 1640 on Wednesday, I may actually get the veg boiled and the mashed potatoes done in readiness for frying in the evening.

Today, because I broke the back of last Monday to Wednesday classes, my exams finished quite early. An hour early in fact. That was great because I had checked my gas meter last night and it showed 6m³ left! Well on my own that would be a week's worth but with two of us showering? Panic time.

I got to the gas shop at 1805 and the shutters were down. Staff still inside and not interested in my plaintive looks. Damn, I thought, I will have to traipse down there before Wednesday classes. When I got back I fished out my torch (the meter is really hard to read, the screen is very opaque) to see how much it read now. In fact there's a 1 in front of the 6 so I actually have 16m³ – more than enough to last us until after I finish work on Saturday. Phew! Just need to find out when the electricity Auntie will knock off for her spring festival and cajole 1,000Kwh out of her!

And boy, are we using electricity at a rate of knots, about 125Kwh a week. It's bloody freezing, especially tonight and I wouldn't be surprised if we get a dusting of the white stuff before dawn. It smelt like snow when I was walking home.

So four days left and then two months holiday. It cannot come soon enough, it has been hard going this term. Great being the one and only because nobody is interfering with me for fear I will clutter off but all the late finishes have played havoc with my eating habits. If I don't cook and freeze at weekends I am not getting proper food in the week and I can't eat campus food, even the students detest it! It will be nice to clear out the freezer a bit and restock with lasagne and the like and maybe a hundred sausage rolls for my lunchboxes next term! Oh, and maybe I might just get around to making that cheese and onion pie that I desperately want to try.

Before you ask, no, I am not doing anything for new year. I am testing all day Thursday, will probably be in bed before Big Ben bongs 1600 in the UK and I have a full day of exams on Saturday so Friday I will simply rest.

A student asked me today after her exam whether I was going back to my home country in spring festival. I nearly choked. If I wanted a week in England I must first quarantine for two on arrival and then two more when I returned here, making five weeks of hotel bills for a week's vacation.

And she clearly missed the memo about China banning flights to and from the UK now because of the English virus! You have to laugh, I saw a headline in The Telegraph that said the UK was being blamed just for alerting the world to a new Covid variant. Well..... that's what happened to China when they told the world a year ago!

Bugger off 2020, not sure 2021 will be much better though.

 

Christmas Day 2020 2300

Well it's late for some readers and still early for others. Some have been celebrating with gay abandon, others not so. My poor sister was going to spend the day with baby sis, hubby and nephew and yesterday was notified on her phone she has to self isolate for 6 days because she has been in contact with a carrier. Her day and my baby sister's day ruined and I feel for them – particularly as the apparent “contact” took place on a day she never even left her home. The continuing ineptitude of the so called developed countries never ceases to astound me.

But I sincerely hope you either enjoyed your home-cooked traditional dinner, M&S food or whatever. I mean really, it is in fact just another day and were I to count, over half of my working life I have worked Christmas days. And one day when I wasn't working I went to hospital as Santa to bring the kids some cheer! Brenda sent me an email saying how sorry she was I never had a holiday for Christmas. She never checked my rota, I was off today anyway but I said what the hell, this is China! And let's face it, both Chinese and foreign teachers get an awful lot of holidays each year! I did promise myself once I would count the number of days I actually worked but I lost count, maybe for my last year I will do that. I am sure they will number less than 180.

Anyway, tonight I went to collect Melody to take her for our dinner. The traffic was dire but then it was Friday night. First of all when we got to campus the driver panicked because he couldn't understand the body language for “wait” when I exited the cab (as if a foreigner in China could get away with doing a runner!) to let Melody in and subsequently bump his fare from 15 to 76¥ - so I did him a favour unless he had an urgent appointment instead.

Melody paid for the fare. Much against my wishes. That was not part of the plan. But ok, we went into the restaurant late due to traffic although we did ring to warn them.

If I am completely honest the meal was dreadful. The inclusive Oz wine was reminiscent of the Melbourne Muddies of the 70s (meaning I was forced to order Tanqueray and tonic -which they forgot to charge for!) and our table was near the door. There are a lot of things I like about the Chinese but there are things I loath. One is their seeming inability to close a bloody door after they enter or leave. Where we were sat, every time the door opened (and it was indeed freezing outside) we were treated to Siberia and I really wanted to kill dozens of inconsiderate people tonight. Thankfully eventually staff would shut the damned door and I could rewarm a bit.

The meal itself was not good. Mushroom soup with black truffles and sous vied egg sounds great when John Torrode or Greg Wallace say it but basically we had it the way they do on the show – stone cold. It was like a gazpacho. One quadrant of my soup was tepid, the rest bloody frozen. I am sure the egg provided the heat.

Then we had the foie gras and scallop, I had one scallop and got Melody to eat everything else. Next came the king prawn linguini which was two prawns but they were big, next was the beef wellington which was, I have to say, an enormous disappointment given that it was the reason I went for the set Christmas menu. The beef wasn't tender and if had been it could have been good. I have made better.

Dessert was one crème brulee. So you think I ate half? Hahah! As much as I wanted to, I implored Melody to eat it – it wasn't that big. And she loved it. She had bought me gifts of biscuits, sponge cakes and a lighter I can never fly with in China! I had to let her have it.

So yes, it was not good but Melody is sweet and she being Chinese is used to cold food and guess what? Her parents came to collect us and drop me back home! Saved me another taxi fare. And the bill was only 400¥.

Charlie's Burger? They should stick to what they are good at, burgers! And they are good at those!

 

Christmas Eve 2020 2210

I still hate Thursdays but at least now I have tomorrow and Boxing Day off. Working Sunday through to Thursday next week, new year's day off, last day of work Saturday 2^nd.

My morning class had prepared a little rehearsed speech for me. They had invited me to join them in dumpling-making on Monday for winter solstice and I had to decline due to teaching commitments and they also asked me to join them for Christmas day, again I had to disappoint because as you know I once again have plans for my dinner.

But they had clubbed together to buy me gifts. The ubiquitous apple of course (Jody is loving that), a Christmas tree about ten inches tall and and electric hot water bottle. The reason for the latter was because I am always complaining of the cold!

As it happens, due to my diabetes my feet are eternally cold so as I type the bottle is on the floor and my feet are on top of it. I am hoping it will cool enough to kick in on reheat in time for taking it to bed, it's not something you leave plugged in constantly. I thought they were very sweet but shouldn't spend their money on me – even though I think I will be using their very thoughtful gift often. Last night I also received a gift of a bottle of Sangria from Adriana. I really don't expect gifts. Well, not at my age anyway.

So anyway, tomorrow Adriana booked me a table for two downstairs at Charlie's Burger for five-thirty. She herself is going with a friend who has the unfortunate distinction of sharing his birthday with Jesus (I have a cousin equally afflicted) but arriving an hour later. Doubtless we will exchange greetings but their table is booked upstairs. I dare not venture up because even stone cold sober I am terrified coming down I will fall and die. I really need a handrail or it's a no-no.

There's a set menu (as well as the standard) for Christmas Day only. 400¥ per head (or about £45 just to make my UK readers positively green with envy). There's mushroom and black truffle soup, foie gras terrine, seared Hokkaido scallop, grilled king prawn linguine with garlic pesto, beef wellington, all followed by classic crème brulee. And of course some plonk included.

Now, never in a million years do I think I can attempt to eat all those courses. I will probably have a crack at the soup, wellington and brulee. But in the spirit of Christmas, whatever I don't eat I will have put in a doggy bag for Melody's dorm mates. No doubt they will winkle it out of her where it came from despite my imploring silence but it can't be helped.

So I can still have a decent Christmas dinner but sadly many in the UK and elsewhere are very restricted and I am genuinely sympathetic. It still seems bonkers that in the very place everyone urged me to leave nigh on a year ago, I can still go out to a restaurant for what I fervently hope will be Masterchef style food when many of you can't.

However, I would like to wish all my readers seasons greetings wherever you are and whatever restrictions you are under. I hope that regardless you can still enjoy a very merry Christmas and a happy new year.

I have to add that one of my happiest Christmas days/dinners consisted of going to the pub at lunchtime, getting tipsy, going home and then cooking myself bangers mash and beans!

Shen dang kwai le!!!

 

Tuesday 22^nd December, 2020 2030

The Star of Bethlehem has passed me by. I looked last night and tonight and couldn't see it. I saw the moon though! Guess I will have to wait another 800 years for another opportunity.

Life is not just hectic but just now, complicated. So I had classes Saturday and Sunday and then yesterday and today the same classes to start their exams. Tomorrow and Thursday I have classes again followed by exams this weekend and next weekend and exams during next week. Nothing is ever simple.

Today a student gave me an apple for Christmas. It might seem a strange gift to an outsider but apples are given as a sign of respect in China. Pity I don't have any teeth with which to actually eat it! Jody will be getting it along with the other one a few other students gave me in this special gift pouch (along with some sucking sweets I can actually eat!). I have also been warned one of my classes has a surprise for me on Thursday. Should I quake or look forward to it?

The one thing that springs to my mind is Brenda's comment that as long as I am popular with the students I will be fine. Please don't think I actively court their friendship because I certainly do not, they step out of line, they incur my wrath but always with justification. They know where they stand with me. I wish I had thought of the light sabre years ago – that torch I bought? It has an adjustable beam that you can narrow down to become a really, really bright ray. I don't even need to move from where I am sitting now, just light someone up!

Put it this way, Dean Bitch has kept well clear all term and on the odd occasion we have encountered each other she has been sweetness and light.

Anyway, last night I was supposed to meet Jason in McDonald's. I got there, ate and waited, wondering why he was late. Just after seven I gave up and left. In the taxi he sent me a message asking if I was almost there!

He said he's never there until seven. Then I realised I had finished my testing early, forgotten my classes finish at 1830 instead of 1800 and made a bit of a blooper. I am going to finish even earlier next Monday so have cancelled our McMeeting, while he has cancelled our Christmas drink due to increased workload after a colleague left unexpectedly. We will however meet up for a pint sometime in January.

As for my Christmas Day? To be honest I was just going to stay at home. Grinch Jody stole the day and my enthusiasm waned. However today a freshman student changed all that. On the spur of the moment I invited her to Christmas dinner at Charlie's Burger. She's 18 or 19 and she was unbelievably made up, clapping her hands. I had to injunct her not to tell anyone else in case the green-eyed monster appeared. So my date this Christmas is Melody. She's a sweet little thing and more importantly is one of the few students I have that always contribute to the class. You will see her in the blog after Christmas day.

Right now I can't wait for term to finsh. Mind you, Jody told me last night although I finish 2^nd January, next term doesn't start until 8^th March. Not a bad vacation......

 

Sunday 20^th December, 2020 1945

Or rather, in Chinese academia these days, Tuesday. And tomorrow will be the second Monday in two days followed by the second Tuesday in two days. How is an old man supposed to keep up with all this?

This particular old man awoke this morning with a rather painful right knee and worse, shooting pains that prevented any attempt at simply going back to sleep. It's not so bad now (as so often happens after a bit of exercise) so hopefully tomorrow I won't really feel it because of course it is a real Monday for my “date” with Jason.

I'm not sure if we will be going for that Christmas day drink though. He hasn't emailed me to get the address of the bar. The hell of it is, I am not that bothered, I will be quite happy to just stay at home – my partying days seem to have largely deserted me. Accidental or impromptu ones aside, I honestly can't seem to work up enthusiasm any more. Last Christmas was different, I was catering for a load of people, eating bugger all myself but enjoying watching others tucking into the fruits of my labour. I am glad however that this year the most I may (or may not) have to do is take a taxi to a bar.

But of course I read the news this morning that Santa is now in Tier 4 in my part of the UK. And there's a vaccine.

From start to whenever it finishes and observing from afar it is mystifying how it could have been handled so badly. You're crazy for not running away from China they said to me when it broke out. Not so crazy now though, eh? As far as I know there is no mutant strain here either – although maybe Trump will try to blame that on China as well before he is evicted in a month.

I would say that I feel sorry for any of my readers whose Christmas has been ruined but also point out most don't observe it properly any more. How many go to church these days? It's now an excuse for a couple of days off, overeating and drinking to excess!

And hell, here they cancelled Chinese new year the DAY BEFORE! For the Chinese that's far bigger than Christmas to us. But stone me, they did it.

The most powerful force in the world right now is not POTUS, ISIS or Putin. It is something countries are allowing to destroy their businesses and economies.

 

Saturday 19^th December, 2020 2045

Or should I say Monday? After the latest bombshell that's what today was. Tomorrow is not Sunday but instead Tuesday. Confused? Join the club! Sorry but the thinking that it gives a longer holiday is a load of bunkum – people will just get more of it in one lump, a bit like leave after a voyage of working seven days a week. Everyone ashore had weekends off and you didn't so you got a lump sum afterwards – although it was never as much as Joe Public got!

So in two days I have Monday again and in three days another Tuesday. Playing chess is easier than figuring out what's going on here sometimes. Trying to filter in exams is the tricky bit.

So anyway, yesterday (maybe I said already) I did two huge laundries, shopping and baked my sausage rolls. I even changed my bed (not something anyone likes to do!) and stuck on the new really heavy quilt the school gave me. Nearly did my back in doing it too but by heck, it is warm!

After school this evening I waited a while for a taxi to appear without any result and so decided to walk. Eating dinner when you arrive home at 1930 is never going to be easy if you have to cook it so an Aberdeen Angus burger from McDonald's beckoned. Well, hell, if I am walking nearly to the bus stop I may as well!

Unusually, tonight there were two 18s sitting in the layby lane instead of the main road, something I haven't seen before but the lead bus had his engine running so I guessed I needed to take that one.

It has been a while I suppose so perhaps it was overdue. A combination of the gloom (the street lights aren't exactly bright) and these sodding glasses coalesced against me. I rounded the front of the bus and right in front of a tree I found myself going down. I hadn't seen the kerb. Luckily I managed to get some sort of a hold on the tree so the impact as I landed wasn't too dreadful. The only real damage was to my dignity in rolling around in the dirt like a wounded walrus, not to mention the unsightly and ungainly struggle I had to regain an upright position – all observed by a bemused and completely unhelpful bus driver who never even left his seat.

I did go for my Angus burger, covered as I was in dirt and dust. God knows what everyone was thinking but I didn't care any more. So tonight I have done the third wash in two days, today it was my down jacket and trousers.

Christmas anyone?

 

Thursday 17^th December, 2020 2130

Well, I thought this entry would be a simple one explaining bugger all had happened and putting in a bit of waffle for padding. Except it is anything but.

Yesterday I was given seven hours' notice for a Foreign Language Concert that was months in the making (usual MO in China, leave the laowei to last) and given that today was my full day of teaching I wasn't keen but of course with my students both watching and some participating and some of my old students performing, what choice did I have. Dinner was a croissant!

All this week I have told my students next week is the last class of term and then we start the exams. I had ensured that the utter balls-up of last term would not happen. I left school tonight with everything in place, all that remained was to give instructions to the classes on how it was to take place over two weeks.

Well, not half an hour ago I received an “urgent message” in an email. No, not spam, it was from a Chinese teacher, one of my assistants from one of the departments I teach for.

The school leaders have now decided in view of the Covid situation they will cut short the term by two weeks! I haven't seen anything at all about a resurgence of the virus and can't find any news now. The Chinese teachers are doubtless celebrating because they will finish now on January 8^th (I was finishing 7^th, a fortnight before they should have) and I now have to finish on the 4^th.

Great, three days earlier.

Only, instead of having my last classes next week I now have my free day tomorrow and then start testing classes Saturday and Sunday, working all the way to Thursday, next Friday (Christmas Day) off and then God knows what weekend days to polish off my exams – I haven't quite worked it all out yet. I am losing my weekends for a three-day earlier finish, although somewhere in the gumph I was sent there will be a day's reprieve for Friday classes which I don't have.

But Christ Almighty, a party at 7 hours notice and now a complete timetable shift at 36 hours notice?

It's enough to drive you to drink. If I wasn't already there.

Now of course I am wondering if Alice and my planned trip to Yunnan can go ahead in spring festival. Are we going to be locked down again? So far all I have paid for is one flight, the hotels are cancellable without penalty and probably the flight will be too if it happens.

Merry Christmas? Bah frigging Humbug!

 

Saturday 12^th December, 2020 1330

I hate the CET (College English Test). At five o'clock yesterday evening I lost internet and so texted Brenda to check if it was just me again or the whole school. Main and Peili campuses were both down and she said there would be no internet today either due to that damned test. Why they do it is to stop cheating but to my mind, relieving all the students of their mobiles at the door and proper invigilation is all that's required instead of depriving everyone for a day. So I asked why the hell it had gone off last night seeing as it normally goes down at eight on the morning of the exam. Maybe they had tests to do, she said. It wasn't that long ago they knocked it out for a whole day to upgrade it so I was exasperated.

Thankfully at about seven-thirty it came back. That gave me chance to start downloading a load of films I could watch today. Unlike the UK, the web is slow here so I just had to leave the laptop running the whole night and pray the internet remained on and the downloads would finish by morning.

I actually made a point of getting up before eight to check my emails, the news etc and send my brother birthday wishes but some over-eager IT bod clearly went to the office early and brought the network offline before I even woke. He, I am sure, will still have online access. It is in fact enticing to go and get an hotel room on these occasions but this time my plan worked (and I was forewarned!) and I had more than ample viewing material for the day.

I had plans to go to both BHG and Metro today but inertia won the day. I will go to BHG tomorrow regardless and hopefully, finally, try cracking out a cheese and onion pie – I only need enough grub for four more Thursday lunches this term. If I am too indolent (a very distinct possibility these days) then I will get a taxi from school to Lanzhou Center (I know it's Centre but they spell everything Mercan here), have a Burger King and then hit Metro. I can buy some tortillas, cream cheese and smoked salmon for wraps. I'd buy bagels if they had them.

This week I was lucky in getting a taxi on Wednesday and Thursday. Mondays are at the moment McDonald's Days to meet Jason and Tuesday I was so hacked off at having to walk I decided if I was walking all that way I would take the bus and have a filet'o'fish anyway. Won't be repeating that exercise, I have never seen so much gloopy sauce in a burger in my life! I used half a pack of pocket tissues on my hands! BK is far superior and they use fish fingers. Why did I end up somewhere there were no restaurants I would be happy to eat in every night if I chose?

I have a 1Tb external hard drive, they cost about £60 here. I still have no idea how to actually plug in and back up the laptop (nothing happens) but I at least know how to send files to it even if I am clueless about putting things in folders, meaning I end up with endless individual entries. Except last week I was looking for a film to show the students, couldn't find it on any of my small USBs and checked the external hard drive. Everything I had stored on it was gone! I have never taken it to school so I can't blame room 4104. it wasn't a disaster because one thing I can do now is download films and even the subtitles but it is worrying, especially as the drive is a Seagate and they are supposed to be good.

Oh well, maybe later tonight I will be reconnected and can send this, for now it's Cinema Time.

 

Tuesday 8^th December, 2020 2200

I don't know why but I am getting tired. Of everything.

Yes ok a couple of classes have some active students, my first class this afternoon for example but with most it is a constant battle to draw them out. I honestly never envisaged the day a decade ago when I would be saying roll on retirement but that's what I am doing now, just marking time and wishing the UK had left it at 65 and not forced my old body into another year.

But enough about me, other people have bigger problems. For one they don't seem to like my opinions on Facebook because they differ to theirs. Apparently I am not allowed an opinion because I “destroy” people. Well Trump's still spouting isn't he?

Seriously though, on Monday – and I say this with no humour intended – I was walking to my classroom in the afternoon. Now these glasses I got in Shanghai are in fact awful but I think part of the blame lies with me. I really have to get decent ones soon. However, as I was walking along the corridor I heard a sound akin to someone sweeping.

I looked back and saw nothing, then I looked down. This is without a word of a lie. The little student was walking just in front of me to my right. I so wanted to stop her and chat (we were both early) but I have no idea if she speaks any English. What I did was slow my pace – but only a little – so as to observe.

I am not the tallest tree in the forest but I swear she barely comes up to my knee. I have checked out the Guinness shortest woman and she is 63cm. I have just measured my knee and that's about what it measures! Stupid I know but I would like to know exactly how tall she is, you never know, she could earn from it.

Anyway, unlike last time, I hung back, disguising my inquisitivity by fishing in my bag for a cigar purely to see how she negotiated the stairs.

She flew up them by walking and in a race this old man would have been well and truly trounced! I don't think I have ever been impressed as much by anyone before in my life.

It is becoming likely that my Christmas dinner will indeed be beans on toast or something similar but Jason did express an interest in going for a drink in the evening – except he didn't know anywhere to go. Well there I can help him! So at the very least I should have a Christmas Guinness and G&Ts with not only a native speaker but someone from the southeast.

 

Saturday 5^th December, 2020 1930

An afternoon from hell.

I said last time I was having a roast chicken dinner. Well dinner ended up being two baozi (steamed dumplings). Why?

Because before I washed dishes and started cooking I wanted to go and get my cigars, five months worth. Normally as I leave I pat the right side of my trousers to make sure there's the reassuring jangle of my keys clipped to my belt tags. Except today was one of those rare occasions when I patted after I closed the self-locking door. There was no jangle.

Jesus. Now I couldn't get back in!

Well, no big deal, I was going all the way across the river and town to get my smokes so would be maybe sixty minutes then I could just get a taxi afterwards to take me to main campus, get Jody's key and come home. Costly but these things happen.

Only, Jody's phone was switched off.

I got to China Tobacco and suddenly this time (as with taxis lately) they don't take debit cards. The nearest ATM was directly opposite but with an eight-lane road and four foot high central barrier, meaning a huge walk followed by a subterranean foray whereby I almost ended up taking an underground train before realising how to emerge the other side. And none of the escalators were working. I was all in by the time I withdrew the cash, my legs were all but buckling. I was stood right opposite where I needed to be and couldn't face that return expedition. As the crow flies it was a 50 yard journey but I hailed a taxi and paid 10¥ for him to drive up to the junction and do a u-turn. The guy knew full well why and he was happy because as soon as I opened the door to get out he had another fare.

Paid for the cigars and left and trust me, 2,300 of them aren't light. Got to the bottom of the steps and they called me back! I knew I had paid the right money so just stood there and indicated there was no way I was lugging that lot up again. Then it dawned. They wanted to give me free lighters! And in this case also a free stainless steel drinking thermos that I will never use but I am sure I can find someone who will.

With Jody still uncontactable on the way home I had no choice but to call Brenda. Four times. Now I WAS panicking. Thankfully she did eventually pick up, she was in the hospital with her mother. Couldn't tell her about Jody, it's a state secret, so I had to look an idiot (which I am for not frogmarching her to the key shop to get another cut) and I asked her to send uni workmen or locksmiths to drill out the barrel and change it and I would pay.

To my relief (and surprise) she said she had a key! That would explain why I was only ever given one when they changed them before, which I thought odd at the time. Damned handy now. But seeing as she was with her Mum she needed someone else to go and get a spare and for me to go to campus.

Oh great. I had three bags of cigars and nowhere to leave them, a taxi to take to campus which I may have to cause a war to get through the gate and it was freezing cold. I dumped the cigars with the jing jo shop and went to wait for a taxi. Mr Jing Jo came back shortly after, Mrs must have told him and the next thing I know was he was calling me back. He would take me!

Thank you God!

This time I had to direct him against his Satnav but when you make the journey 32 times a week and have been the dozen or so ways to do it, you get to know. And bless him, we waited until Mr Wei came, got the key and brought it.

When we got back I bought my drinks for 68¥ and I gave 100¥ and refused the change. It would have cost at least that in a taxi. The bastards absolutely refused to take the money and Mrs shoved it in one of the bags! Well I will get my revenge tomorrow – I have a tin of expensive British butter biscuits from which I tried one and instantly knew I wouldn't eat any more. I will take that to them as a gift. Wouldn't mind the tin back afterwards though!

As for Jody? She called at 1840. I thought I was quite reasonable to point out that had she got another key cut after I asked her (and offered to pay) this would never have happenedm indeed if her phone was on it wouldn't either. “Are you done?” she asked when I finished. “Yes”. She hung up. No sorry, nothing. Well it won't happen again as I now have a third key, I just need my knife to get the window open.

So no roast dinner today but tomorrow will be busy as I need to cook that and probably scotch eggs (and I need more eggs as before I left, my coat caught a pack and they hit the deck making a hell of a mess!).

Three days off to rest? Really???

 

Friday 4^th December, 2020 1900

What in Gods name kind of a world do I now live in?

Last night I spent 45 minutes watching Trump's latest squealing and bleating with no evidence and then today I learn his team are now asserting North Korea shipped loads of ballots into the east coast to Maine aboard vessels to swing the election. And of course, the DPRK is free to send its ships to the states any time.

Then I read that suddenly business travellers who will earn the UK money are now exempt from quarantine but the Man on the Clapham Omnibus who just sunbathed for a week in Falaraki needs to isolate for a fortnight. Money apparently keeps the Covid at bay. I somehow think Joe Public is going to rebel sooner rather than later over these arbitrary and nonsensical rulings – and I would not blame them.

As for here, somewhat disconcertingly, a guard at BHG indicated I should be wearing a mask, something I have not needed to do for quite some time now. I had one in my pocket but I ignored him as there were others naked-faced. I have heard nothing about a C19 resurgence here and to be honest, if we had tiers, Lanzhou would be in Tier 0. Sure, the cabbies all wear masks and many bus drivers demand you do but that's it. And hell, four days a week I am mixing with, I don't know, maybe 8,000 students on main campus and am in close proximity to about 300 of them. Fifty people in BHG are small fry.

I had intended to do both BHG and China Tobacco today but that Thursday Tailgate caught me, it took an effort just to do my shop. And when I did, Christ was it cold! I'll go to get my 2,370 cigars they have amassed tomorrow (can't last until next weekend) but one thing I really need is my extremely short haircut. I am now scared to do it but it has to be addressed soon. If these temperatures remain as they are then I am going to look a proper Charlie out and about for a week wearing my Cossack fur hat until I get used to it.

I shall be happy when this term is over so I can eat normally. I don't eat much but getting home so late it's too late to cook. I bought a small chicken today which is defrosting so tomorrow the plan is a roast. On Sunday I need to sort out my next month of Thursday lunches on campus and I can't decide whether to finally make that cheese and onion pie or plump for scotch eggs instead. I have everything for both except onions. Right now if where I lived had a place selling proper hot dogs and hamburgers I would probably be eating them six nights a week.

BUT! Amid the sea of potatoes that turn to mulch the moment you boil them at this time of year, today I found three packs of two decent sized quality spuds in BHG so snapped them up. At 30p a potato they weren't cheap but by hell they will be worth it! If it's just me, that will do me half a dozen meals.

Once again I am rambling and I still have two days off before facing the next week of what may or may not be purgatory, so enough!

 

Tuesday 1^st December, 2020 2200

Nope, my three day weekend was a sea of nothingness. I just don't have the get up and go any more. It got up and buggered off.

I did however wash some glasses and things seeing as the “housekeeper” is on a freeze-out right now. How the hell is a bloke supposed to cope with the menstrual cycle when he is set upon by a rabid wolverine merely because he points out that ripping off a connection pipe to the washing machine is not the way to do it and you need to lift the bottom and pull down the top? Cue hysterics and frostiness for the past two days. To be honest, the histrionics over what amount to trivial things are now not only mounting but becoming ever more tiresome. I don't need that.

I am finally getting even my most reticent classes to open up, even if just a little. They are still hard work compared to Chizhou though and sadly I will probably have them for just one year and will not see the fruits of my labour in the second year. Surely the school will be able to get more foreigners next summer???

Yesterday I “broke burger” with Jason at McDonald's again. I also found out why he was dragging a suitcase once again. Yes there are books but on a Sunday night he stays in an hotel because like my uni, his also has multiple campuses. When I suggested perhaps a taxi would be a cheaper option he informed me the school owned the hotel (just as this one owns the hotel opposite me) and he stays for free! I never got to the bottom of which of us has the heavier workload although I suspect he may have the edge because some course he is doing for extra cash is ending soon. I haven't done extra-curricular stuff for many a year now, it's enough summoning the energy for my day job!

After school tonight I did BHG. Well, at 1830 when I finish it is well dark so after I shopped and the taxi pulled up at the security gate, it was impossible but no way was I lugging 6 bottles of wine and a briefcase one side and the same weight the other.

The problem is, since they introduced the facial recognition gates there was no room for a guardhouse and so they moved it backwards. Please, I have nothing against the poor buggers keeping warm but it means they are distant and when the vehicle scanner doesn't recognise the numberplate we don't get let in. Thankfully a stentorian “Ni Hao! Hello! It's ME!!!” normally penetrates the confines of the hut and they lift the barrier.

Oh, and on Sunday I booked most of spring festival. My flight to Kunming and hotels for Alice and I there, Lijiang and Dali. Only thing I haven't booked is my flight back. At the moment three times what it costs to get there so I am trusting time will see the price reduce. If it doesn't then it will be purgatory on a sleeper train with strangers.

 

Friday 27^th November, 2020 1800

Another week over. Yesterday morning I was waiting for a taxi and some woman appeared from nowhere and in true Chinese fashion, nabbed the very next cab. I hate that, especially as I do the British thing when others are waiting and take my turn. No such courtesy here unless there is a taxi rank and a queue. Even then people attempt to circumvent it.

However, a couple of minutes later an SUV, a Trumpchi (what an awful name for a car, so much more now!) pulled up alongside me and tooted. Thinking it was someone looking to make a few bob as an unlicensed cab, I just wanted him to bugger off. But he persisted and lowered the window. Lo and behold, the driver was Mr Jing Jo! He had a stop to make at a shop somewhere I have never been but I had plenty of time and so wasn't worried. However, he completely lost me as to my bearings and ended up near the wrong gate and on the wrong side of the road. I had to cross the road, clamber over an ( admittedly low)central fence and then take a long walk to get to class. I arrived with just five minutes to spare when normally I have twenty and enough time for a leisurely smoke. But at least it was free and it was good of him to offer.

All the cashpoints on campus have been out for a couple of days and I had visions of the situation continuing for a month as it did before but thankfully tonight they are working again. I usually withdraw ¥1,000 at a time, which most times lasts me between a week and ten days, tonight it was tempting to take out a lot more but seeing as I will probably be forking out at least ¥2,300 next weekend for cigars (or 6,000 if she can get them)I thought better of it.

Spring festival has slightly changed. Alice was moaning about the cost of flights to get from Guangzhou to here so I looked at the cost of my flying to Kunming to meet her there. I was going to spend ¥2,400 on a train compartment so anything less than that would be fine. I was surprised to find that a business seat with China Eastern, whether in the next ten days or in February, can be had for ¥1176 so that's a plan. I just await her decision on which day. I don't want to spend an additional day alone in Kunming because being a tourist trap the hotels are exorbitantly priced. But yes, if I am honest, although a train compartment to ourselves might have been a bit of an experience (and you can smoke) a couple of hours in the air is better. Not sure what tier Boris has put us in though!

Joanna is released from “prison” tomorrow. She told me she will be going for a hotpot for her first freedom meal. I suggested she see if she can get a steamboat, a seafood version peculiar to there. She also said that Kuala Lumpur is not safe and she won't be going out often. I confess that surprised me. My past (admittedly historic) experience of Malaysia is of a very safe place. But then I am a bloke, not a young woman.

She sent me a picture of her prison lunch today. It came airline-style with three compartments. One had broccoli (yuk), the second might have been dessert but I couldn't tell and the third was the main. Funnily enough it looked not unlike spaghetti bolognese but must have been a Malay variant. At least she said it tasted ok.

 

Tuesday 24^th November, 2020 1930

So my three-day weekends seem to have developed into 72 hours of doing sod all. Funnily enough, this time I actually had some energy but lethargy prevailed. I will have to break the cycle soon though, not only will there need to be a teabag run soon (Jody uses far more than me) but in two weeks I will finally exhaust that stock of 4,000 cigars I had a long time ago. So far my China Tobacco contact has located 2,300 and I have asked her to get 6,000 – a year's supply. I very much doubt she will be able to but I can hope.

Mondays are becoming McDonald's days. Not because I particularly like them because I don't but along with Thursdays they seem to be days when taxis are scarce so if I have to walk all the way to get one I may as well pay 1¥ to take a bus to get a Big Mac and then get a cab from there home afterwards.

Last Monday I saw a heavy-set chap wearing a mask, same hair colour as mine, dragging what I can only describe as cabin baggage, come into McD when I was eating. The “western” radar was on full alert – heightened these days given the dearth of kindred spirits – but he disappeared from view completely (I was facing away from the counter but looking in the windows for reflections).

Last night he came in again while I was eating. Never acknowledged me, nothing. I thought “Oh here we go again, the usual, foreigners in Lanzhou ignore each other”. This time I clocked where he sat to eat and as I happened to be damned near finished, once I had and was about to leave, I went over to him and said hello.

There began what could be the start of a good friendship.

His name is Jason, 56 years old and originally from Guildford. Moved around a lot as a kid as his old man was in the RN, married to a Chinese woman and now with an 8 year old daughter. I know very little more but it was good to speak to another Englishman seeing as the only time these days I get the chance is summer in Shanghai. I reckon Mondays will be McDonald's every week because he is always there, his wife is out on Mondays. If Christmas dinner collapses with the girls, this may also rescue it. I am not particularly bothered, it's just another day and it's a long way to go when I will probably have a burger anyway but some company would be nice. It does get a tad lonely here being the only westerner.

 

Friday 20^th November, 2020 1840

I can't help but feel sorry for Joanna and think that were I in her place I would need to be hospitalised! Either that or I would go berserk.

She and her colleagues are being fed three meals a day (left outside their room doors) along with three bottles of water (no idea what size) and other items they order, presumably at their own expense, are brought between 1500and 1700 daily.

Smokes are not allowed – presumably a non-smoking hotel but people have been known to poke their heads out of the windows – but even worse, no alcohol!!!

Now let it be said that Joanna is not a drinker by any means. Sure, she had the odd tequila sunrise or two of an evening when we were on holiday in summer but she is one of the very few young ladies I have ever met in China who smokes. She probably smokes sparingly normally but in our hotel rooms she puffed away quite often. She tells me she is fine “in prison” and yes she will come out ok. But me? Hell, I take a container of snuff with me on a two-hour flight!

As for the alcohol ban, how can they expect someone who has drunk regularly for nigh on half a century to just go without? Being honest, I couldn't. I would kick off and probably end up in a real prison unless I could get myself sent back from whence I had come. I understood perfectly when I read the news some months ago about returnees to the UK in quarantine going mad and demanding pizza and wine. Lock me in an hotel room with smokes (even if I brought them with me) and deliver me food I can eat and enough booze and I will be a model inmate. Treat me like a criminal and I am liable to become one,

It was flipping freezing when I went to the jing jo shop earlier, a sudden and dramatic drop from the last few days. Jody came in an hour ago and informed me it was snowing, which came as no big surprise.

Christmas dinner is now in jeopardy.

After first indicating she would be happy to come (and me also inviting the beautiful Maggie to join us) she has now decided she has a test on boxing day and so needs to study all Christmas night. Maggie is married with a young child and so I harbour some doubt as to whether she will come for a “romantic meal for two” - reputations in China mean a lot and can be destroyed in minutes. Maggie's going to try to cajole Jody into coming but if she fails it may well be beans on toast for me. I will not want to cook on a Friday, Thursdays leave me drained.

Of course, I am observing from afar the fiasco in Britain where five days of Christmas may cost 25 days of further lockdown. China locked down on 23^rd January, two days before new year and the day before the big celebrations. Everyone did as they were told and cancelled family gatherings and meals – and their new year is far bigger than our Christmas. Now look at the situation here and in Europe with the refuseniks. Life will never get back to normal at this rate because any vaccine won't keep up with mutations. Imagine a UK with no pubs or restaurants? Sorry, as much as I like Boris, he dithered and blew it.

But enough of that. Anyone actually going abroad for the festive break??

 

Tuesday 17^th November, 2020 1930

So, just found out my finish date this term is 8^th January which means my last class before doing the exams will be Christmas Eve. Whilst at times it has seemed slow the reality is that this term is going somewhat rapidly.

I now have a powerful little torch. I bought it in the knowledge that leaving school would by now – and has – become sheathed in darkness. It is very bright when it is focused on the narrowest setting so I have found another use for it. Highlighting students playing with their phones in class! And by God it's effective!

I don't know the reason but lately leaving main campus I have had no problem getting a taxi. In fact yesterday when I decided to walk to the 18 bus to go to McDonald's I could easily have hailed four. Long may it continue.

Talking of McDonald's, not that hitherto I was a regular although now feeding myself at night presents a problem I am going once a week, normally if it isn't breakfast (who doesn't like a cheese and egg McMuffin?) I stick to a Big Mac but last night I noticed the guest dish was the double burger with German sausage so I had that. I'd forgotten it is devoid of any vegetation! Filled a hole though and I wish I could just buy a pack of those sausages frozen from them.

I suppose I could buy a load from Jinkou online but I always spend 500¥ to get free delivery. No problem if they ever had beef and chicken pies in stock but nothing for years and £55 of sausages is a lot of Toad in the Hole!

Joanna is now in “prison” in Kuala Lumpur. She flew on Sunday and her entire party consisting of her colleagues were then placed in quarantine for 14 days. Could be worse I suppose, they have been billeted in the Hilton Garden Inn and presumably the company is picking up the tab. That is costing a fortune along with the relocation and I am wondering if her firm is American. That would explain it, given the worsening of relations since Trump started alienating the world.

I just sit here hoping things don't deteriorate with the UK!