Chinese new years day 2014           1800

I went out at five minutes to midnight. The hotels and shops had all set out fireworks on the roadside. We all I think have a little kid inside and everyone likes fireworks. I have never been so deafened in my life. There were men lighting fuses and running away as fast as they could, rockets going up a dozen at a time and the air was thick with smoke as you will see from the pictures. Not only did I need earmuffs but I could have done with an umbrella because the amount of debris raining down was considerable. Ash, plastic discs from the rockets, you name it but it was insane and I stood there taking photos with a huge grin. It was marvellous and I am very grateful to Amy for getting me to come here despite the cost of travel.

The problem was, the locals had an unending supply. I think just in this locality alone more explosives than there were deployed in the Falklands were expended. The lull never came until after two in the morning, so at 0230 I thought it was safe to go to bed.

Wrong.

Chinese people in the corridor having very loud conversations disturbed me constantly and then just after eight the booms and bangs restarted! There is something to be said for staying on a deserted campus at spring festival! I am all in and still there is sporadic gunfire but I may just be so tired that I will sleep through any after midnight tonight.

Qing called at lunchtime to apologise. Her family was taking her to another city (presumably to visit grandparents) and they had intended to leave at seven this morning but due to thick fog again they delayed their departure until ten. She wasn’t sure if she would make it back in time - in fact just now she sent me a text to say she wouldn’t be back until very late. Hopefully we can have lunch tomorrow, if not she has promised faithfully she will come to school before she goes back to work. Disappointing but as long as she comes to Chizhou to see me I will be happy.

Amy came to collect me after lunch and took me home where we played cards again. Various relatives were there including her maternal grandmother and I was more successful, almost winning back all the money I lost last night - peanuts either way but good fun anyway taking on the Chinese at their own game and occasionally winning.

So now I am faced with the prospect of trying to find somewhere to eat, having refused dinner at Amy’s because I was waiting to see if Qing would make it. It’s tempting just to buy a load of cakes!

Chinese new years eve 2014               2300

It always promised to be a day with a difference but I never knew precisely how different!

The first thing to go wrong was that when I woke up we had a pea-souper of a fog. That wasn’t in the plan. It was also colder than anticipated but I wasn’t letting that get in the way.

Pepsi and I had a chilly ride to the vets where she is now presumably thinking she has been abandoned and then I rode to the station. The fog was so dense when I got to junctions I couldn’t see what colour the traffic lights were  so I questioned my wisdom in pressing on regardless.

I made it to the bus station and requested a ticket to Tongling. The station was eerily empty but I assumed it was because everyone else had already travelled. Only one girl was manning the ticket counter and she didn’t speak English but thankfully (or not!) another customer behind me had a smattering. He translated. It was not what I wanted to hear. No buses at all today but I could buy a ticket for tomorrow. I had only two ways of getting to Tongling - a lengthy and cold  e-bike ride (and no way could I have made it in one hit without charging) or a taxi.

Outside I agreed an exorbitant price of 300y with the first driver in the queue ad started to get in. this created uproar from other drivers who tried to prevent me. This in turn saw my inner Mr Angry surface. I had agreed a deal, I wasn’t happy at paying fifteen times the price of the bus and so I was sticking to it. Brushing them aside I sat in the cab only for the driver to exit and have an argument with the others. Ultimately he came back and told me to get out and take the second taxi! Patently the rank system doesn’t apply here.

Anyway, we set off and in the fog not only made a few wrong turnings (even I know the way) but also found ourselves driving on the wrong carriageway twice. With many drivers either displaying no lights or just hazard flashers and a driver intent on overtaking at any cost I did find myself worrying if I would live much longer. Halfway into the trip another cab came the other way and flagged us down. This saw me swapping cars and the other passengers hopping in mine! Amazingly, when we got to the outskirts of Tongling and stopped at lights two women jumped in the back and demanded the driver take them somewhere as well. By now this was turning into not only an expensive day but one of the strangest so all I could do was chuckle. This is China!

I was dumped on a corner with no idea of which hotel I was supposed to be staying in - Amy had booked it - because there was one on each corner. Eventually she came with her father and brother to find me, Sod’s Law, standing outside the wrong hotel. Once booked in we walked to their home where I was given drinks and offered snacks, the latter of which I refused because I knew mum would be pushing the boat out this evening and I wanted to at least try to eat a bit of everything. After a couple of hours I took my leave as I had gotten up so early I needed a siesta before the evening.

Dinner was at five and as you will see from my photo there was plenty of food, in fact after I took the picture another three dishes were produced. We had beef, chicken, pig tongue and trotter and other things such as fish soup and meatball soup, all made by Amy’s mum.

After dinner four of us played the landlord and farmer card game at which I lost but only about 10y and then they set their fireworks off earlier than I suspect they had intended, this because Amy told them (in Chinese) that I was a little “boring” (for that read bored) and perhaps I wanted to go to my hotel. I wasn’t bored at all but I had said if they were going to watch the gala on TV I would be because I wouldn’t understand it.

Regardless, I took my laptop specifically to show the parents the video because Amy is in it and they seemed to enjoy it. Dad (much younger than me) was probably tired but for a moment I suspected he was becoming emotional over parts of the film. I did though have a terrific and unique day notwithstanding the early setbacks. Better still, Qing has arrived a day early so I shall definitely see her tomorrow.

It has been like a war zone here all day and of course soon it will be midnight so Armageddon will be here. I will post this and at midnight I am going out to watch Apocalypse Live!

Wednesday 29th January, 2014              0000

I feel good.

Just took my dog for her walk and on the way out I could hear pups yapping. Across the road a mum has three babies which may be three or four weeks old and she has nested under the ground floor stairwell. I saw the supervisor the other day close the steel grid shutter (the pups could get through if they were older but mum couldn’t) and tried to get across that she had to leave it open enough for the mother to come in and out. Now I realise all she understood was that I should take the whole family to my home.

I did ask Cinny before she left on holiday about it and said if the mother was locked in or out with nobody there what should I do but with no satisfactory answer other than she had heard about the little family, I said no matter I would break the shutter. I meant it.

Anyway, thinking mum was in with the pups, Pepsi and I went on our usual route which sees us pass the offending block just before we come home. Bear in mind that tonight the only lights on in ANY home on campus are mine.

Stone me, once we neared the block I saw Mum, who had no way of getting to her babies. Ok, let’s try my old key for the other shutter in my old building in case one size fits all. No joy. What to do? Go back to my flat and get a screwdriver to try and prize it open? Or see if I still have some strength left at my age?

Just call me Hercules the Aged. I ripped it open with my bare hands because I was too lazy to go to get tools if I didn’t need to. Mum and babies are now together, I just hope they keep quiet if the dog catchers turn up.

If there is CCTV I don’t care. I have already reported myself to the school and if necessary will pay for any repairs. I couldn’t live with myself if I had knowingly let those little puppies die because I did nothing.

I wonder if they take mitigating circumstances into account in the courts here…..

Monday 27th January, 2014                1730

Well the weekend simply flew by! In fact this entire holiday is going much too fast, only three weeks of it left.

I had dinner downtown Saturday and Sunday - if you can call a big Mac meal dinner that is, although I did have a pizza in the Lotus Branch. Typically, following the lovely warmish day we had and my charging the bike the next day it was chilly again.

Qing called - she is in Beijing at the moment and only afterwards did I think that possibly she was offered the job by the British Council. Anyway, she now only has seven days holiday so whether she will come here at all (it is obligatory to visit family at this time of year) or not neither of us know but one thing’s for sure, if she does it won’t be for very long.

Tuesday 28th          1845

I didn’t think I would have anything to write today but I am extremely happy to say that now I have.

This morning Amy (the monitor of the class in the video) contacted me to invite me to her family home to see in the Chinese new year with them. Considering the other previous invitation I was given proved to be a “Chinese promise” this took me by surprise. Better still, the forecast from Thursday to Sunday is for 20C so I should be able to take Pepsi to the vets for safekeeping on the bike without getting frozen In the process.

Amy only lives in Tongling - the same as Qing - so I know which hotel to stay in. The vet of course, in light of the time of year, has temporarily doubled dog sitting prices to 50 yuan a day and I will need to make an early start to try to make sure I get a bus before they stop running. I am leaving on Thursday morning hopefully, which is new years eve and will come back on Saturday. The cats won’t be impressed but I will leave plenty of food out for them.

I definitely won’t be letting off my ordnance to see in the year of the horse - no way can I lug that to Tongling or even on the bike for that matter with my bag and a dog to transport. I am still hoping Qing and I can let it off during golden week, fingers crossed.

I was going to go to town tomorrow but I have decided instead in favour of getting everything ready and giving this place a bit of a clean and tidy. I have sufficient food in for human and animal consumption, speaking of which, I mistakenly took what I thought were chicken breasts out of the freezer for the furry ones earlier only to find when it defrosted it was the other pigs lung. As Pepsi did eventually eat the last one it looks as though the cats won’t eat anything other than biscuits tonight although I will make it up to them tomorrow.  

Amy is a really sweet girl, one I never really noticed for much of her first year here but I have warmed to her now especially as her English has improved dramatically this last term. Plus she has given me something to really look forward to - my previous three new years I have been marooned with no buses and temperatures to prevent any bike riding and have only been able to see the fireworks in the far distance 12 miles away.

It’s going to be an expensive date though!

Friday 24th January, 2014                 1830

Not much happening here of course, but a couple of items worth relating.

The supervisors at the old block are not too pleased that the easy (and free!) charge-up for their e-bikes has disappeared. One of them complained (in Chinese) to me and I hope my body language was good enough for her to understand that not only do the school want the flat back but I also am not happy at having to relocate the wires - it was perfect for me even living in another block because it was out of the rain.

I did pop downtown late yesterday afternoon for a bit of shopping and to grab some dinner. I couldn’t decide where to eat but in the end - mainly because I wanted to ensure a seat on the bus back - I went to the commercial centre to shop and ate in the KFC there. Not their chicken but one of the other Chinese additions to the standard menu - pork schnitzel, rice and curry sauce. Cheap enough and filled a hole.

Today I slept until eleven (must break that habit) and mid-afternoon took Muttley out. It was then that the inner child triumphed. I enquired about fireworks at the supermarket outside campus and on discovering that with my loyalty card discount I could buy the biggest box of artillery shells they had for 170 yuan (£17) I caved in. I estimate the box weighs about thirty pounds - I certainly wouldn’t want to carry it around often - and you will see from the photo it is a serious amount of explosives. Quite when I will detonate is undecided. If Qing does actually come to stay I might do it with her, if not then midnight on 30th January it will be. Why should the Chinese have all the fun?

Today was actually annoying. Had I actually believed the weather forecasts which are almost always completely wrong, I may have charged my bike up last night and gone to town on it instead of taking the bus which I do all the time in spring festival. It was 23C. Gorgeous enough for me not to need a sweater and the jacket was only needed whilst riding the bike. It’s supposed to be nineteen tomorrow so I will charge up tonight in case. I wouldn’t ride in the evening because it does drop down dramatically but late afternoon for an early dinner and shopping could certainly be on.

Tonight though I am having bangers, mash and beans, this Chinese food is fine in moderation but a man needs proper food every now and then!

Wednesday 22nd January, 2014                  2100

An interesting day. It was the day of the barbecue, for which I was collected promptly at 1430 and whisked downtown.

It was held in a public park and of course Chinese barbecues are nothing like western ones - not a steak, hamburger or jacket potato in sight. Instead, it was wooden skewers of chicken, mutton, prawns, tofu etc and of course their version of hot dog sausages which I find revolting. My preferences were of course inconsequential because the children were all excited and sometimes it is sufficient just to watch others having fun. My needs were taken care of by the supply of beer although I did regret wearing a brand new pair of shoes for the day but then I hadn’t realised not only would I be walking far in them but also standing around for the duration.

They were complete novices to the barbecue game though. Far from lighting the three small units an hour beforehand it was left until we got there and although there was ample charcoal there was only one small bag of lighting gel. It resulted in the kids having to go and scavenge dried leaves and fallen twigs to actually get the fires started and not unnaturally they started cooking immediately the flames came. Nobody had a clue how to cook on a barbecue (and if there are not children vomiting tomorrow I will be amazed) for instead of leaving the skewers to cook they insisted on turning them and patting them up and down constantly. I can only hope there was no salmonella present because as sure as hell some of that stuff was still raw when it was eaten.

An old lady who was a park cleaner and who had only just swept the paved area where we were moments before our arrival came and stood watching. I suggested to Avril that perhaps she should offer the woman a sausage to keep her sweet and it was gratefully received, as were the prawns a little later. However, her oppo arrived thirty minutes later, an elderly man who I assumed was simply a local resident. He berated everyone in Chinese so without knowing what he had said I guessed he was being troublesome. I was right. He was telling everyone that this was the wrong place to hold an activity such as this.

I couldn’t help myself.

With Avril’s translation I told the old boy not to be so miserable, had he forgotten what it was like to be a child and that I reckoned he had been really naughty as a boy. Mr Grumpy very quickly turned into Mr Nice. See the photo of the two cleaners in black jackets for proof. I never ate any of the food but the children were like locusts. In fact I have had nothing at all to eat today for two reasons - firstly it wasn’t my sort of food and secondly I didn’t want food poisoning from badly cooked produce.

Touch wood nobody will feel ill but after the kids left to go home the teachers assisted in the park cleanup and we all transported the tables and barbecues (one of them still lit) down to the building which houses the school along with many other offices. There we set up shop for the teachers to eat the food that remained. I still never ate anything for the aforementioned reasons and in fact will have some cheese and crackers once I have finished this entry. The owner Mr Wu seemed most concerned that I hadn’t eaten and so I pointed out the food was not the stuff I eat, prompting him to state he would have obtained different things had he known. I assured him I was having a good time regardless although I am almost certain his prior invitation to his parents home for the new year has been rescinded. Perhaps he thinks my fussiness will offend his folks but to be honest it troubles me not. I am perfectly happy here alone that night and am even considering buying a big box of mortars for 180y to let off at midnight outside my building - expensive but satisfying for the child inside us all even if I am the only one to witness it.

So that looks like my last social engagement of this lunar year unless Qing does wangle time off and come, although I have promised Sonya from the ABC bank I would take her and a girlfriend for dinner sometime in the holiday. I was hoping it would be with Qing for a foursome.

Oh and in case you are wondering about the photo of the flowers, they are Kevin’s narcissi I am looking after in his absence. They are currently flowering atop my washing machine.

Tuesday 21st January, 2014                   2000

I had a bit of a lazy day yesterday - actually most of my days are lazy if I am honest - and all I did was go to the local supermarket with the dog and then the sweet pork place for an ale.

They often offer me the odd free mandarin/banana or a handful of sunflower seeds but I always refuse. They also, because often I turn up when the place is dead and they are about to eat their own lunch, usually invite me to join them for food. I also refuse even though having given them a copy of the dvd on this occasion I could have justified it. They did in fact have a large dish of chicken drumsticks which looked inviting but I had my mind on pasties.

Anyway, I got told to leave. Not nastily and I was given plenty of time to finish my drink. The thing was they were closing up after they had eaten (they turned four customers away) for their holiday which as far as I can tell will be three weeks until Valentines Day. I am running out of watering holes now but at least the one near the fish shop will be open even on new years day - in fact I have been there twice today. The landscape there has changed since I last went, all the stubble has been burnt and for some strange reason the small trees and bushes at the side of the dirt tracks have disappeared and not just the foliage but the lot, trunks and all. It looks really odd.

Anyway yesterday was my first shot at pastry making. Not a disaster but a definite “could do much better”! In my desire not to make it too wet I managed to make it too dry and as a result it wouldn’t roll out very thinly. I knocked the pasty idea on the head and instead tried making a pie - a pigs ear of one admittedly but a pie nonetheless. The pork mince I had bought two days before smelt a bit ripe and I was dubious but being a firm believer in the fact that cooking long and hot enough will kill any problems I persevered. It came out a bit crusty on top and not cooked enough on the bottom, more to do with my mini oven than anything else I think, and I had some with some gravy last night for dinner. It was perfectly edible and I suffered no side effects but it just didn’t appeal to me greatly. The remaining three-quarters of it were taken earlier this evening to the new mum with the three pups and I am sure she will scoff the lot, food will be in short supply now the place is all but deserted.

At lunchtime I went to town to get medicines and a bit of shopping followed by a pizza at the Lotus Branch. The bus was bliss outbound with just three of us aboard but coming back I was lucky to get a perch on the rear “bench” which I exchanged for a seat once we got to the train station. At least I sat.

Today was unseasonably mild and one on which I could have benefited from sunglasses, however this evening just before I started this blog entry I took Pepsi out to the fish place again and whilst it was fine just standing having a bottle, on the ride back the temperature had dropped sufficiently to make my ears sting. And I was ever so pleased when I got back, plugged my bike in and found the extension still worked. That may sound strange but when you consider it is two extensions plugged into each other and the only thing stopping the rain is a load of carrier bags tied around the joint (water poured out of the sockets when I took it from the old place) then perhaps you will understand.

Tomorrow afternoon I am being picked up and taken to the barbecue being thrown by the kids school I played Santa for recently. I have no idea where it will be but I can guarantee it will be like no barbecue in the west - I wonder if I will actually eat anything or I will be on a liquid diet! The very thought of it now has me envisaging T-bone steaks, fat bangers, beef burgers etc and if I knew exactly what the arrangements were I could have bought a French stick downtown and taken my own Taobao sausages and my HP sauce!

First though I must press a pair of trousers in the morning.

Sunday 19th January, 2014                     1730

Despite having said I wouldn’t go to town over the weekend I did in fact take a trip in yesterday. I was in two minds as to what to do because I spotted a deck scrubber in the sweet pork place yesterday lunchtime - I have never seen one in nearly four years here and I could have sorely done with one in the old place for the floors. I think they bought it in East Street so I thought about taking a wander down there to see but changed my mind on the bus and instead plumped for an early dinner in Ke Bi Wang because I haven’t seen JinJun for about a month and afterwards went to Lottemart, not wanting to stroll around with a long handled scrubber. I bought liver for the animals and on the spur I also bought some pork mince, vegetables and flour that I won’t use in the bread maker. I may have a crack at seeing if I can make anything resembling a Cornish pasty. I decided that if Ollivier can make pastry then surely I can as well? If successful, it would open up a great many opportunities for more western food - sausage rolls for one!

Today I removed the last of my stuff from the old flat, and I am sure there will be many disappointed people. My extension leads that everyone used to charge their bikes had to come over here even though I would have loved to have left them in place. It was ideal as not only could I charge up but the bike was under cover. Over here it will be open to the rain and snow. Anyway, I managed to rig it up here. It involved running the cable through a window and out onto the stairwell. With sliding windows the problem was how to ensure the cats couldn’t open it further and get out. This was solved with a metal rod I bent to the right length to wedge it almost closed. Not ideal as it means there is now a gap where cold air can get in but hopefully Kevin can drill the window frame when he is back so we can run the cable through it and thus lock the window. I also had to put up a couple of hooks in the stairwell to keep the lead from strangling anyone walking past as it now goes out of another exterior window down to the ground floor. At least I can still charge up whenever I like.

Mid-afternoon I went to buy some plonk and give Pepsi an outing. For the second day running I got to the till only to find I had forgotten my wallet! Again I had to go all the way home and return. The Chinese ladies who work there must think I am a complete divot.

Campus is virtually deserted now. Teaching staff don’t finish until Tuesday but I saw just a handful of students still wandering about. Quite why they are still here I am unsure, there are no classes so I can only guess they couldn’t get rail or bus tickets for any earlier. The transport system here during spring festival is rammed solid - except of course for the number 29 bus which is now bliss as I am often the only passenger as it leaves school.

Tomorrow I may go and see if I can buy that scrubber and combine it with lunch. After that I really must make a start on entering the exam results in the system.

Friday 17th January, 2014                      1900

The exodus is almost complete.

My spare gas cylinder arrived an hour late much to my annoyance because I could have done with another hour in bed had I known and then I took Pepsi out “foraging”. By this I mean buying as much wine and beer as the bike will take before everything closes down. The outside supermarket will be open for all bar three days but if snow descends it will be nice to have sufficient stocks not to have to venture out seeing as I would have to walk and it is well over a mile round trip.

I had expected a severe winter considering we had such a scorching summer but so far it has not materialised. Today it was a positively pleasant 13C.

After our outing I decided to chance going to town in order to avoid having to do so over the weekend when the temperature is set to drop. Despite the volumes of students and suitcases I managed to bag a seat on the first bus I saw, and mindful of yesterday’s fruitless and ultimately expensive expedition I decided to go to the commercial centre to shop. It is far up enough on the line to virtually guarantee a return seat as well.

Instead of coming back to the intended spaghetti on toast dinner I treated myself to the little Korean restaurant next to the supermarket but was disappointed to find the menu has halved - still things I liked but it just smells as if the place is in trouble, odd considering it is in a prime location. I don’t use it that regularly but as a place for decent and swift food it is handy and I will miss it if it closes.

I don’t recall if I mentioned this before but some weeks ago I had a chat with Prof Fang during which I told her that (at least until I was “fired” last April for being inches from deaths door) that I had a dream of retiring in China and wished to get permanent residence or even Chinese citizenship. I also opined that I had rather hoped the college chancellor could exert some influence on my behalf. At the time she said she would mention it but naturally I thought she wouldn’t. On my way to the bus though I saw her leaving for her lunch and stopped for a talk. Unbidden she informed me she had mentioned my “dream” to the chancellor/president and that he had said such a thing was not easy. I replied that I was aware foreigners faced much difficulty in such matters in China but I had to try otherwise there would be a huge “what if” in my life and I don’t like those.

I’m not sure what inference I should take from this information other than the fact that I have sent a very clear message to the leadership of the school regarding my love of the place and the students. I can do no more but it was heartening when she said they view me as one of “them”. I am not and never will be in reality (they enjoy some awful foods!) but the sentiment was understood and very much appreciated. Whether it all goes pear-shaped in a few months  or even a year’s time only time will tell but nobody can say I haven’t given it my all.

On my return to campus I took Pepsi out again foraging. I emptied the campus supermarket of my preferred beer seeing as they will possibly not be open after tonight - all the cafes are already closed - and went to the sweet pork place to buy more wine and give them a copy of the dvd which they loved because their place features in it. They were actually doing a respectable trade as students who are not leaving until tomorrow are unable to eat on campus and so are having farewell meals there with their colleagues.

Riding back this evening I suddenly realised that the spring festival holiday evokes conflicting emotions in me. On one hand I am envious watching them trundling their cases off to the bus to go and be with their families and on the other I welcome it as a time of peace and relaxation.

Very soon - in four days time - it will be probably just me, the animals and security.

Thursday 16th January, 2014          2000

It’s been a while I know but yes I have had things to occupy me, not least of all completing one new form for every student’s examination. I was rather hoist by my own petard here. Some weeks ago I was asked to list the criteria I used when awarding final marks. Knowing no better I offered ten areas I judge, only to find that I now have to split the total percentage between ten categories! It is absolute nonsense of course because there is no way I can remember three hundred student names let alone allocate accurate marks in ten sections. I have simply awarded the final score and then fiddled the sections to add up to the correct number. I love bureaucracy.

Payday was supposed to be Sunday and what with having been busy using my reserves to buy things for the new flat plus supplies for the holidays I was left pretty short by then. Of course we weren’t paid. Not just the foreigners but all the teachers. Tomorrow, tomorrow was the answer and I ended up regretting paying Ollivier my share of the money for putting linoleum down in the common stairwells and alleyways in our section of the building.

What made the situation desperate was not the fact I would starve or the animals would go hungry - I have food in the freezer - but the fact that I had promised all those who helped me move home a meal last night. And yesterday by noon we still had not been paid. Cinny asked me if I wanted to borrow some money from other teachers but I refused saying I shouldn’t have to, I should have what is owed me instead. I was on the verge of cancelling the dinner and telling the students why but I decided to go all the way to town and see if my UK debit card would work at the Bank of China. It got spat out by the ATM so I went into the branch where they tried to help, to no avail.

Really hacked off as cancellation was definitely on the cards now and having wasted 90 minutes for nothing, I returned home. I called my bank in the UK with just three hours to go until I was supposed to meet my kids. The girl promised to get it sorted within an hour and a half. With an hour left I discovered an on-campus ATM that said it took Visa. I tried it for a balance enquiry but no joy. Resigned to disappointing my flock, I  went back to the beer I had bought. Once finished I walked to my bike in a foul mood but on the spur I decided to give the cash point one final try but for a withdrawal. It worked! The meal went ahead as planned and the students are none the wiser although I have taken money from an account I have no way of putting back in from here. No thanks to the school of course, with whom I am utterly disgusted for we finally got paid today with no explanation nor apology. I am almost certain they were upgrading their accounting software but what sort of organisation starts such a major task three days before the entire staff are due their salaries? Oh yes I forgot, this is China.

Anyway, fourteen or fifteen of us went to the restaurant I had chosen only to find that they had no private room available - Amy the monitor had forgotten to book. Their loss, I simply told them all to go to the sweet pork place where we had a lovely meal and I got a pleasant surprise when the bill only came to 400y - where else can fifteen people sit down to a slap up meal and drinks for forty quid??

Anyway, at lunchtime today I found that I had finally been paid so decided to go back to town this afternoon. I didn’t want my cigar stall to think I’d let them down - 600 cigars that are not exactly top sellers is a lot of stock for a small kiosk to hold - and duly took the bus. Now that the exodus is under way in order to get a seat I had to let the first bus go and take the second but I did get a seat. Got my smokes and went to RT Mart for butter (yes, they sell THAT now!) and a new plate to replace the one Pooh broke otherwise when Qing comes one of us will be using a bowl and then had to decide on where to eat.

On the way to town I had - being nouveau riche - asked Cinny to organise me a spare gas cylinder so I don’t run out during the holidays. The deal is we pay for the gas and at the end of the year produce receipts for the school to reimburse. Of course a spare bottle is considerably more expensive than a simple refill, I need to fork our 258y. Far better that than have a day or two unable to cook. The guy is coming at 0900, not a time I am used to receiving visitors this week. Early night needed for that. However, the FAO wants the keys to my old flat at the same time so I have had to say no, I still have a few things to retrieve and will let them have access at the weekend. It also means the end of easy bike charging so now I need to figure out a way of doing it from here where the cats can’t open the window which will need to be ajar for the cable to go through. Always problems.

And get this! The school want me to send Cinny a text every day of the holiday so they know I am still alive!!!! My answer, almost verbatim, was that I am neither a child nor a criminal and I report daily to nobody, not even my mother. I also asked if Kevin, Ollivier and the Korean teacher were being asked to do it or am I the only one expected to die tomorrow! It is tempting to croak it now just out of spite! All I can say is it’s a good job I’m not a hypochondriac.

Anyway, for dinner I made the mistake of just going for a couple of quick McDonalds burgers with expediency in mind. I should have gone elsewhere because that far down the bus line by the time the number 29 arrived they were like sardines and vacant taxis were like rocking horse droppings. I did eventually get a cab but only by virtue of someone being dropped off near the bus stop. A few more days and the buses will be deserted. It can only get better……

Saturday 11th January, 2014                     1730

Lazy or busy, you decide.

This week I finished my exams (a week later than I had planned due to external meddling) and on Tuesday I arrived at my classroom to find it full of strange students and another teacher - THEY were taking an exam in MY room. No, I didn’t go on a rampage, I simply made my views known - not the students or the teacher’s fault, they had been allocated the room because guess what? The foreign teachers ALWAYS finish their exams early! Oh yes, they forgot they screwed that one up. I was seething. I wanted to emulate Jesus in the temple with the money lenders.

I ended up scouring the entire block for an empty room in which to conduct my own tests and when I finished I went immediately to see the department secretary. I had a solid day of exams coming up yesterday and if they thought I was going to spend it like a homeless tramp begging for shelter they had another think coming. I was assured my classrooms would be free yesterday (and they were) but I had not realised the students never had any exams yesterday otherwise it may very well have been a different story. Next term I don’t care what they say, I will schedule my exams as normal and if they want me to teach lessons afterwards then fine, we will go to my designated room and if it is occupied by others taking tests I will simply send my class home. If there’s one thing I detest it’s people tinkering with perfectly good systems and then inconveniencing everyone involved because they should have left well alone. Not playing that game again.

On Thursday I took Joanna for a local meal to say goodbye for the spring festival - she went home yesterday - and I managed to reduce her to tears. No, I wasn’t being nasty it was immaturity shining through and hopefully one day she will be old enough to understand that just because the Chinese are mainly docile in their acceptance of injustices, Westerners often aren’t. No matter.  

Last night I was made a very happy man indeed. Qing called me, not to give me an exact date for her coming to visit but to give me news of it. I had thought that I would be lucky if she stayed for two nights seeing as she earns good money and will want to go and visit her grandmother etc but no - and hopefully this is not a Chinese promise - she said she may well stay a week or even ten days. I told her she can stay forever of course, but I think she will come for a while as she stated I would have to do some cooking. I hope I have to, there are only two restaurants I want to show her anyway and knocking up a lasagne or pizza is considerably cheaper than either of them! I may even try hitherto untried dishes (a pie with pastry - never made pastry in my life - for instance) and I will be happy just to have her here. Mind you, she may be coming simply because she knows I always keep my place warm in winter! She commented on that last year when she stayed.

This morning I got up at six. An hour too early as it transpired but with memories of the last time I wanted to take a weekend number seven bus and the disaster still fresh I decided to play it safe. I had my winter visit to the little school for the pronunciation testing and had invited one of my class monitors, Amy, along to be bored for a couple of hours and be treated to a free lunch after. She wants to be a teacher herself so actually for her it was quite good to see that yes, some primary school kids can actually behave. As always Helen’s classes were a delight and as always we went to lunch at a spit and sawdust restaurant, this one a stones throw from her place. The food was fine and afterwards we played the Landlord and Farmer card game. Amy was concerned over my skill at the game beforehand seeing as they decided to make it a little interesting with money becoming involved. Initially they wanted to wager 1 yuan a game, but 10p? I suggested 5 yuan and after the first game guess who was 15 yuan down! However, I am happy to report that by the time we left I was 5 yuan in pocket. Not only that, my spring festival envelope contained almost enough to treat all the students who helped me move to a dinner, something I hope to do on Tuesday or Wednesday.

The current weather is miserable, low single figures by day and hovering around freezing by night, not that bad but it is accompanied by constant slight rain. I am hoping said wet stuff clears tomorrow as after Lucy comes to clean I want to go shopping to start stocking my freezer for the break - not to mention the very welcome extra mouth I look forward to filling for as long as she wants. And next week I shall have to tackle the new extremely complicated forms we have been given for our exam results. No longer is it possible simply to award 78%, we have to break it down into ten categories. All bullshit of course - I have their marks and will simply work backwards to make the rest fit. Admin seem incapable of understanding that oral exams are fundamentally by their nature completely different to written ones. Ho hum……

Monday 6th January, 2014                 1200

All my plans for yesterday may as well have not been made. Initially the idea had been to sleep as late as I could but I found myself wide awake at seven. The water was going off at eight so I decided I may as well let Pepsi out for a pee and get cleaned. After she’d been out I thought I would start any BBC programmes downloading until the power went off and just as I finished picking what I wanted I glanced at the computer clock. It read 0745! I looked at the wall clock and it was 0715. My watch agreed with the computer - the damned battery on the clock was packing up. Ablutions were a trifle rushed.

I then went back to bed for an hour and later took the bus to go for my gourmet lunch at McDonalds. By design there were two foreigners there as I had arranged to meet Kevin but by accident we ended up being three when Ollivier arrived. The visit revived long-buried memories of McDonalds past. The food was every bit as vile as the last time I went years ago and my thought on leaving was the same as ever - “why did I do that?”

The buns taste like dust and the best bit about it is the plastic cheese slice. How a company can be so hugely successful with a business model advocating selling such unutterable garbage is beyond me, although it does explain why KFC is so much more popular here than Ronald.

I left and did pet shopping and took a taxi home. I grabbed Pepsi and took refuge at the sweet pork place (who also didn’t have power) for a while before returning to the campus shops to await the electricity. It was late but only by a quarter of an hour so at least I could go home and get warm.

Later last night some of the girls apparently got a little too warm. Their dormitory caught fire.

The students are not allowed to possess electrical items such as heaters, stoves, fans etc, in fact I think they are only allowed phones and laptops. As a result of the fire the rummage squads are out in force today, as are hordes of students scurrying and darting everywhere trying to avoid having their illicit appliances discovered. Kevin has apparently got kettles and toasters and such being brought to his place whilst I have at least one fan and a rabbit - yes rabbit - being brought here to keep from the clutches of the authorities. No, the rabbit will not be a permanent resident, the owner will be taking it home when the holidays arrive. I hope……

1830

I forgot to mention that Mulan bought me a box of chocolates on Saturday. She is a friend of the owner who makes them by hand. I have no idea how much they cost but she did say she was given a huge discount. She asked my what type of chocolate I liked and naturally I said “dark”. Her friend told her they wouldn’t be what I was expecting (the Chinese don’t  like the bitterness of real chocolate) but I already knew that. Notwithstanding, they were really nice, so much so that I ate the lot that evening!

We now have a rabbit in the house. It is perhaps a month old and therefore difficult to sex but I think it is probably a girl. Katrina brought her to me in an impossibly small cage fit only for transporting (although she did say in the dormitory it was allowed to roam) and no water bottle. On asking how the thing obtained a drink I was informed in the two weeks she has had it, it hasn’t had a drink! Good job it’s winter.

I transferred it to the cat cage but it is able to squeeze through the bars at will so have had to confine it to the balcony - I would hate the cats or Pepsi to eat it. I have made it as comfortable as I can with pillowcases on the cage to stop draughts as the balcony gets cold even though it is double glazed. I could shove it into the matchbox it came in and keep it in here but it wouldn’t seem right.

What next? A panda?

Saturday 4th January, 2014                1800

Well it HAS been a bit quiet around here, plus I am only now starting to feel a tad more human.

Yes I stayed up for midnight to greet 2014 - alone at home as I didn’t want to be around people and had earlier declined an invitation from one of my classes to their party. I took full opportunity of the day off on the first by doing absolutely nothing. Ditto Thursday although Friday saw examinations with a vengeance. One of the classes took the Mickey. I had asked for seventeen of them this week and fifteen next week. I finished the seventeen only to find an eighteenth appear! “Could I please take the exam today?” Ok, softie that I am I agreed. I ended up doing 21 of them! Am I angry? No. it means lunch hour next Friday will start early!

Lucy came to clean today as did Kevin to put all my shelves and coathooks up. Not a bad job he did either, especially as he moved the shower towel rack over and up. This had to be done as I was unable to leave any towelling in the bathroom at all - Pooh somehow used to manage to get up there, nest on my towels and in jumping down again would dislodge them so they ended up on the floor, often in the wet. If he can get up there now then I am putting him on TV. It is nice to have somewhere to hang jumpers and jackets now though.

We had a problem a couple of days ago where we lost all power on campus at about 0800. Often if it is a planned “outage” they stick it on the website but there was nothing ahead of it. It was just what I needed what with feeling terrible and not being able to take a shower but power was restored around five in the evening. Until about nine when it blew again! I ended up reading by LCD rechargeable lamp and when that ran out, by candle. The only good thing had been that while the power was on I managed to cook for the brood, if not myself.

I was sleeping fitfully anyway since Christmas for obvious reasons and in the early hours I awoke. I had no electricity still but the rest of the campus certainly seemed to have it. Indeed it turned out that everywhere had it except the teachers accommodation! We never got it until two that afternoon. I took the shower I was so desperate for, praying all the while that there wasn’t another cut before I had finished because normally when the power goes so does the water so you can’t even rinse with cold.

Tomorrow I am going to town for a gastronomic extravanganza. We have a (this time) planned power cut for 0800-1700 so the plan is to go to bed as late as I possibly can tonight/early morning, sleep as late as I can and after taking Pepsi for her walk, catch the bus downtown. And I’m going to McDonalds for the first time for my lunch! I know that sounds sad - and indeed it IS - but I simply have to see if they do their version of a “proper” burger, you know, the one with all the garbage in it. I just pray they haven’t Chineseified the food like KFC have.  Come on Pizza Hut - hurry up and open your place too!  

I’m afraid that’s it for now and the possibility is there may not be anything interesting for a few days.