Wednesday 28^th February, 2018 1930

Well that was a cracking start to the new term!

Eggs, bacon and mash, a nice simple plate of grub for dinner last night and in bed at ten so as to be refreshed this morning. I woke up at ten to eleven. Sleep and I wrestled for a while and in the end I got up and made a cup of tea then went online. It was tempting to just stay up right through until five this morning, my thinking being there was a danger of oversleeping and missing my transport.

I did though manage nearly three hours of extremely fitful dozing. As a consequence I have been exhausted the entire day.

And of course the new coursebook won't arrive on east campus until maybe next week despite assurances not to worry. Not really a problem with English majors but with that lot, basically it means I have to do all the talking and off the top of my head. All day. I could have ducked out and shown half a film to each class but I was determined to have the activity I had planned – a guessing game where teams try to get closest to the correct distance between Lanzhou and various major world cities.

They quite enjoyed the change and all went well at first. They all handed their phones in so they couldn't cheat and we had fun with both morning classes. The afternoon class were nowhere to be seen at 1430. Apparently they thought my classes started next week. If only they had told me I would have hopped on the noon bus back home!

One of the teams in that class were caught cheating. A girl had not handed in her phone despite my exhortations that it was purely for fun and cheating took the fun out of it. I docked the only point they actually got even with internet assistance.

Blow me if five minutes later I didn't catch another of their team members doing the same! I was furious but said nothing beyond excluding them from taking part in the rest of the activity. I could perhaps understand the desire to crib if it was an important exam but a fun activity? I almost cut it short for the entire class and in fact will do so with that particular class if there is a recurrence.

On a better note, Janet came to see me to say she had spoken with the east campus dean regarding my continued employment there and it was a resounding “yes”! When I told her that was great but maybe the foreign affairs director had other ideas she said that she had to write the letter to him stating they wanted me to stay. I then recalled that last year it was a particularly glowing missive, due in no small part because Janet asked ME to write it so she could translate it into Chinese!!

All is not doom and gloom. I am still trying to save and still scouring deals on flights even though I can't actually book them until Alice secures a visa.

There is a lesson in one of my text books which focuses on worry, why it can be a good thing as well as bad, which of course is true. But there is a short passage in it about the old man on his deathbed who declares that all his life he worried about so many things, 99% of which never happened.

I would do well to keep that in mind, although this blog wouldn't be such a helter-skelter if I never had the odd rant!

Tuesday 27^th February, 2018 1900

Hahaha!

It's a good job I went to sea and my alma mater's motto was Quit Ye Like Men, Be Strong!

Or maybe I am what they commonly refer to nowadays as a “snowflake”? I don't think so but I could understand others caving in and crumbling.

Why this opening to an entry? Well, hot on the heels of the threat of non-renewal of contract, I received an email from Janet, my assistant on east campus. This was in response to my reminder for her to inform the bus driver I needed picking up each Wednesday and Friday morning this term and also to check they either had or had ordered the new text book.

So far so good. The email simply said “ok”.

Then I noticed a pdf attachment. I almost never opened it, assuming it was my timetable because I already knew I had all day Weds and Friday morning. Every class will be in the same classroom next to my office so why should I need one?

I revisited the email after reflecting for a while. Janet has never sent me a schedule, sure she has printed one and brought it to me in school, but.... And the email was rather brief. No wonder she sneaked it in, just as surely as the UK government buries bad news when there are more catastrophic tidings in the headlines and as the Politburo sneakily announced Xi's successful bid to make him emperor for life by announcing it as item 14 of 21 in a national statement.

Fridays are not mornings only, I have the first class and then once again a huge lunch break of 4½ hours before the next one. I requested clarification, knowing full well the answer. “It just got changed”.

So apart from threatening to sack me in four months it seems they are determined to do their damnedest to kill me before they have to bother doing so.

No, of course I am not happy. And yes, I could probably demand that the three straight days be split so as I did last term I could have a rest day Tues and Thurs. But with a bigger battle on my hands I really don't want to appear to be a recalcitrant, after all what do I want more? Another year or some respite from teaching? It does though rather make a joke of the reasons I may be dispensed with (my age and health) when they are quite happy to give me a rota I am quite sure no other teacher here will have - even the youthful ones.

Ah well, looking on the sunny side, it does mean I get a McDonald's breakfast every Friday.

If you call it breakfast. 

Monday 26^th February, 2018 1500

First day of the new term although mine actually starts on Wednesday.

I awoke to three lengthy texts from the dean's assistant on Peili campus ostensibly reminding me to be sure to take everything I need for my classes. Quite clearly a nonsense communication purely designed to ensure I was still here.

I mean, they were going to give me an attendance book, schedule and I had to take the course book and my lesson plans. Let's look at that. The attendance book they would give me is all in Chinese (including student names) so is useless to me. I always create my own, buying a new exercise book each term. The timetable they gave me a month ago in an email, all I have to do is remember which classroom at what times.

Course book? They know full well I don't have it yet! In fact, despite my reminder for them to order it, on Saturday evening when I asked Alice over dinner if it had arrived she looked aghast. She ordered the books online there and then. Lesson plans? I don't do them but even if I did, how could I produce them with no text book? Crystal ball? They are a waste of time anyway, as I have said on many occasions.

Seven and a half years I have been doing this. On many occasions I have had to teach by the seat of my pants, winging it – famously for the whole of my first term here when they had no book at all. I think I can handle it despite being deemed too old in some quarters!

It's Monday Mealtime today with Alice, Annie and Steph. I thought a nice hearty beef stew a good idea, this time I will actually make dumplings. I am also going to try my hand at making those doughnuts. One thing that popped into my head though was how I could buy 1kg of beef (and when I cubed it, it seemed good quality) for 40\ yet for 37\ I get a mere ¼kg of butter! That's crazy in a country that drinks milk like it's going out of fashion.

2145

Sometimes it's good to talk.

The girls came for dinner. I was, well not stressed per se, but annoyed that I had misjudged the timing of the cooking. The stew was not ready and in fact the potatoes stubbornly refused to cook for a further twenty minutes. I took the “stick them in the stew rather than boil them separately” route. Well they get the beef taste in them, don't they?

Alice as expected was nonplussed by English traditional dumplings. I love it when that happens. Chinese people can only envisage their version. But by God, after four hours of simmering that beef could have been shoe leather when I bought it (it wasn't) but when all was done it was melt in your mouth stuff. It went down so well there was barely enough for Steph to take home for tomorrow's dinner.

The doughnuts? Well, first (and maybe last) attempt. Easy, quick doughnuts it said online. My efforts looked nothing like the picture! Anyone who ever cooked will relate to that! They weren't awful, they just were not what I and the others were expecting. Not a disaster, just a near miss.

What amused me though was listening to the Mercans. Being Peace Corps, in the holiday they had training in Chengdu (Peace Corps do a lot of really odd things with their volunteers) and they all have to be weighed by the doctor after one term. Nanny stateism?

Anyway, apparently some volunteers who must have been clinically obese when they arrived lost three and a half to four stone since arriving in China. Annie bucked the trend by gaining 4lbs. The doctor was incredulous because ALL volunteers lose weight in their first term.

She never thought to give my contact details or show photos of the food she eats at mine. Steph did lose weight but she put that down to the fact she eats at mine and more or less fasts until the next time.

They were suitably anxious when I said if I lose my battle there would be no meals at mine next year as I would be gone. They are far too young and inexperienced in China to even offer advice, which in itself is good. I know this is my fight alone. Been there, got the T-shirt etc. I lost one, maybe I will win this one.

My frame of mind now is to hell with it, a major aggravation which will result in a reshuffle of any holiday plans if I fail but an opportunity to move somewhere warmer with more pay. Where I was so, so loyal to Chizhou and was ultimately shit on, there is far less here on my part. It's up to them and even if I win I may pre-empt things next year and move anyway. I really have had enough of the year to year uncertainty which is wonderful for a young graduate or backpacker but not for the older, more serious teacher. Well older anyway!

Ah! what the hell, life throws you rotten apples, you make cider.

Let battle commence. The only reason I want to win is so as not to let Alice down but then I told her tonight if we don't go in summer I will take her next spring festival when I have another job.  

Saturday 24^th February, 2018 2100

I spoke too soon.

Brenda (my foreign affairs school liaison) called me today. Had she not done so on the day all teachers are supposed to be on or around school after the holiday it could almost have been a social call. But no, it was to check I was here, typical subterfuge and nothing to fool me, especially when I could have been in Beijing if I wished, returning Tuesday night seeing as my first class is actually Wednesday morning.

Oh, I got the usual how is your gas and electricity, how was your holiday etc and I played along, I was always going to be here. Of anyone here I was the last one who needed to be contacted.

However I took the bull by the horns and said ok, I will be calling you soon to see if I am fired at the end of term or I have another year. It was my turn to be taken aback.

Instead of saying ok I shall ask and get back to you, she told me Mr Zhang (the director) was worried about my age. My AGE? Hold on, they employed me when I was sacked BECAUSE of my age!

Guess what? It's nothing to do with my teaching ability or my popularity, it's all down to that bloody school trip and my being unable to walk as far, fast or high as the students and younger staff members! Suddenly because I can't compete in the staff 400m relay or take classes on trips up mountains I am a liability? Sadly in China ageism and disability discrimination is the norm but I cannot say I regard myself as slotting nicely into either category.

So now after keeping it quiet, I have disclosed the walking problem (complete with x-ray) and pointed out that my employment should not be terminated on whether I could run a half marathon or my birthdays have now become days to forget rather than celebrate. Instead they should ask if the students found the classes boring, my colleagues found me insufferable and whether I had helped the school out without demur when Jacob did a bunk – and will still be doing this coming term.

Angry? Certainly. Worried? Oh yes. Not as to whether I will get a better-paid job if necessary but because I hate change, moving costs money and it puts my summer plans in extreme jeopardy. I won't be going to England if I need to relocate, I won't be able to afford it.

I have asked for an early answer 1) So I can make representations 2) so I can lobby the two deans and 3) so I have time to organise another bloody job paying 50% more and in somewhere warmer.

Anyone of a similar age will know that uprooting is a pain quite apart from the cost and logistics, and ok the difference is, this time will not (if it happens) be as much a wrench as last time. It does though go to show that no matter what favours you do for Chinese schools (extra hours, unpaid work or whatever) they show no loyalty whatsoever. I am not surprised, just angry.

Age is now my enemy. I used to think time left on the planet was but now I have another more immediate foe.

I was a trifle despondent earlier but after Alice came for her dinner tonight I have brightened. If they sack me then I shall find other employment and probably earn considerably more. It does though annoy me that my summer plans may now be in ruins simply because I find it difficult to walk beyond a mile. Maybe I should dye my hair black and start having those hip injections just as their leaders in the Politburo do but I am in the real world and I project the real me.

Que Sera Sera. I will give them a week or so to reply and then it's every teacher for himself.

For now, in under an hour I hope to be watching the 6 Nations!

Friday 23^rd February, 2018 0030

Remember I said I wasn't feeling so hot? Well I didn't yesterday either. I went to the precipice with the shopping which unless I want to do it on a chaotic weekend day will have to happen later today.

I wasn't the only one feeling under the weather, apparently Dariush gave Steph the Dragon a bad cold and funnily enough I reckon with her favourite dish on offer and her refusal, just maybe she was really ill. A takeaway portion was nonetheless delivered later by Annie.

It was not just Annie and me though, she rounded up Trey (someone they call Nate had to study or prepare classes or other nonsense) and yes, even having been frozen for weeks the lasagne for me was still redolent of onions. I should have caramelised them first.

Of course you would never have known it from the portions the Peace Corp platoon ate! There was enough for six (or twelve of me) and just one portion was left for Steph – Annie and Trey wolfed down 5¼ normal portions between them! I tried a quarter and even had I felt ok I would have eaten no more. It has proved to be the case that even when I fail in the kitchen the Peace Corps still think it's great! They (or at least Annie) think I am too harsh on my cooking.

Do you agree? If you cook something you think is wrong do you still eat it? I don't. Having said that, I made that lasagne a couple of weeks ago and froze it. There was no way I was dumping it in case the others would eat it, it cost too much in imported stuff. Maybe old age is making me a perfectionist....

I sort of raised a toast to starting work next Wednesday. Annie looked at me aghast, “You don't have class Monday???” Uh uh. “Tuesday??” Nope. Wedenesday all day, Thursday all day and until midday Friday. While that was sinking in I pointed out that including commuting it still equated to 27 hours. Terrific, I get a very long weekend but three intense days and more work than her – and all because one of the Peace Corps did a bunk. I wonder if that will see my contract renewed for another year........ I bloody hope so or that will scupper the summer plan. I shall ask soon if I will still have a job next year.

Not that it is any real comfort but today I read on the BBC site that university lecturers in the UK are going on strike. They seem to have little more job security than I do, the difference being that probably I can readily find another post. That's not me though. I set down roots and bring a couple of hundred kgs of gear when I move. The more I am over 60 though (and in a couple of months I shall turn 62) the more limited the options – although if any of the three posts that withdrew offers after the medical two years ago due to the report are up for grabs I can command a much higher salary. The tachycardia/arrythmia thing was sorted within a month of that medical but too late not to accept this posting.

Whilst earning good money is important, it is not everything. As I have aged the emphasis has leant towards the package. In China I get free digs and utilities. In universities I get mega-holidays, normally very little working hours (Ok, for nearly a year I am helping with a Peace Corps absconder but still being kept within contract hours and yes, good to teach English majors again) and I have been treated very well indeed.

I complain. I am a grumpy old man. I complain about anything I don't like. Then I get on with it. Sometimes I change things, sometimes not. But how many people can say that the only weight on their mind besides their own mortality (and God knows why but I have been thinking about that lately!) is whether they can save enough for a big holiday for two people?

I have no bills dropping through the letterbox – I don't even have a letterbox! I feed and water the waifs of the Peace Corps and it maybe costs me double what it does to feed myself seeing as I chuck most of it out.

No, all I have to worry about right now is saving what I think is enough to show Alice the UK. And getting a contract renewal for another year. 

Tuesday 20^th February, 2018 1400

The Italian sausage sub? I should have stuck with the tuna! The one glaring omission I noticed on their menu is that it is completely devoid of any form of pate. It was actually quite a cold evening (remnants of overnight snow were still evident when I got up this morning) and I actually regretted not donning my hat, which, incidentally, I have worn but once and that was for the self portrait I took on the day I bought it! I think I will take it tonight though.

In the small hours Adriana contacted me on Facebook. She was inviting me out for dinner today, I assume from guilt over the last time. With a date already arranged I had the choice of demurring or making this evening a quartet rather than a trio. We shall be four unless anyone is a no show.

Wednesday 21^st 1445

One week of holiday left.

Last night the four of us made the two-bus, ninety minute trip across town. We were all keenly anticipating one of those enormous prawns, sashimi, sushi and anything else we fancied salivating over.

The sodding place was closed.

I was crestfallen. There were Chinese restaurants open but we had our hearts set on something different. Instead we ended up in Pizza Hut. It wasn't my choice but the American contingent were hell-bent.

I think the best thing to be produced were the sharing platters of various starters. Annie and Stephanie ordered massive pizzas, special spring festival ones meant to be lucky and with a diamond-shaped hole cut in the middle so they resembled ancient Chinese coins. I did have my camera but never bothered taking pictures. Adriana was more modest and ordered a small pizza while I plumped for the Hungarian goulash with rice.

Well, mine was about as far removed from Budapest as it gets. It tasted nothing like goulash and they should have called it Gristle Goulash – the beef was inedible. Perhaps you are getting the scenario – three of us had a whale of a time, I did not. Annie and Steph were in heaven, there was plenty left at the end for a takeaway box apiece. If I ever make the mistake of visiting PH again I think I will order a salad. It wasn't cheap either.

Just to rub salt in the wound, on our return in a taxi we spotted that whilst it was closed the night before, the gin bar was open again! The girls were too tired and simply wanted to sleep so I never even had that small pleasure!

The terrible twins are coming tomorrow for the lasagne in my freezer, with not having to cook I have been mulling ideas for dessert. I may just see if I can put together some doughnuts, I found an easy recipe but that's not always a guarantee of success.

I was going shopping today but I don't feel 100% so it will wait until tomorrow. 

Monday 19^th February, 2018 1630

Ok so I lost impetus last night and instead made myself omelette and chips. This evening I am definitely going for that Italian sausage sub!

                                                           I ran out of peas

The two girls are back in town and unless anything goes wrong (they never do with me of course!) we rendezvous at 1600 tomorrow, take to the buses and go to the Japanese, maybe a bar later. Unless they are off the menu, one of those huge cheesy prawns apiece will be one of the items ordered! Handy also that Annie can speak rudimentary Chinese, whilst the pictures on the menu are mostly sufficient for the ignoramus, had Joan not ordered one when I took her, to this day I would have simply assumed it was a fish – which is precisely what the picture looks like.

Last night when I went to the jing jo shop there was almost a full house. There are a son and daughter who I often see during holidays, one I think still at uni, the daughter used to work at the chemists at BHG, now that has closed following the major refurbishment I have no idea, I must remember to ask her next time I see her. Anyway, the kids can speak rudimentary English so for once I can get a stilted conversation with the owners.

Well for the past fortnight the husband's father (I assume he is his rather than the wife because they are both similarly unattractive) has been there, I assume for the spring festival. He always sits in a snug which in reality is the entrance to a minute storeroom for the shop. The shop itself is tiny anyway. He always seems happy to see me and indeed it is reciprocated – I call him babar and yes, he is indeed old enough to be my father, certainly in his eighties, possibly nineties. Anyway, last night Mama was there too for the first time. With no room in the “snug” she was firmly parked behind the counter.

She was typical of any elderly lady anywhere in the world in cold weather, swathed in warm attire and with a hat a Grenadier guardsman would envy. Via the daughter I asked her why she married the old man as he was so ugly. Everyone seemingly found this funny, except perhaps the shop owner, the son. He tapped me and indicated his own face, meaning I assume, what about me, I am his son? I summoned the best body language I could to avoid the need for translation and immediately afterwards feigned throwing up. I fled to sounds of genuine laughter. I'm sure they think I am potty, as do the veg people who probably still don't understand why I buy pigeons and let them go rather than make a stir fry!

I have of late been getting lots of Facebook messages about eating dogs. I don't partake of course but always they target China because of the Yulin meat festival which occurs in June each year. Steeped in tradition (it started way back in 2010 to revive tourism so it has been happening since time immemorial), it attracts tourists to be sure, many of them determined to rescue as many dogs as they can and paying by the kg to do so.

But comments made really annoy me. Clearly the uneducated are unaware that many other countries eat dog and cat meat, not just the minority in China. Only now since the winter olympics commenced are they realising that yes, South Korea does. And the Yanks are ignorant of the fact that eating a mutt is legal in most states as well. The Swiss enjoy the occasional woofburger too. But oh no, it's all China's fault. Parts of India regard the cow as sacred and I have yet to see a campaign to stop Peruvians from eating guinea pigs!

Sometimes I am sorely tempted to say farewell to antisocial media. It only gets me annoyed and attacked on all fronts.

Ok shower time, then I am off to get that keenly anticipated torpedo. I shall be sure to let you know if they have run out of bread again!

Sunday 18^th February, 2018 1315

Just ten days holiday left but it is a form of limbo. Nothing to do (or at least nobody to do it with) and a desire not to spend too much given my hope of having some form of expensive holiday come summer.

Since midnight on Thursday I have been no further than the jing jo shop. I awoke inordinately early on Saturday morning, ridiculously so. I have no idea what time as I remained in darkness in bed vainly trying to drop off again, I was still tired. It really is pointless sometimes and when I capitulated I was amazed to see it was barely 0400.

As I sat drinking a coffee at 0430 I was given the sad news that my sister had succumbed to the brain tumour she had been fighting with such bravery for nearly a year after being given a mere three months. People always trot out such platitudes as courage, bravely fought etc but often it is the case they have no choice other than to accept their lot and get on with it. I do not say this to be unkind, I do so because I am certain were it to happen to me I would not be particularly brave. Angry, definitely – I would rage against what I would see as injustice (although many may secretly feel otherwise). Scared? Absolutely. Some however display incredible dignity and never burden others. I have known a handful and she numbers among them.

There was also a post on Facebook by Steph. Remember my comment regarding mindset about spending two years in China? She basically confirmed my thoughts when she stated she needed to go back home for a visit to get her through the rest of her time here. I completely understand. When I came here I had the benefit of having seen many countries and whilst enjoying (or not) their local cuisine and culture I always had the comfort of my vessel, shipmates and western eating to return to. Unless they are independently well-off, the Peace Corps volunteers cannot afford to buy ovens, pot and pans or foreign ingredients with which to cook for themselves the foods they yearn for. They are lumbered with eating like the locals.

Unless they come to mine!

It got me to thinking of the western grub available in Lanzhou or at least, what I have found so far, which is not a lot.

KFC (there's one in every city in China) and McDonald's. Neither what one would call food but handy at a pinch.

Buddy's. Ok if you want a real steak at a hideous price and the chips are decent. Everything else they serve I am sure they buy from a supermarket freezer. Pizza Hut. There are two and in 18 months I have been to each once. Quite simply, they are not good, I make better pizza.

Subway. That place will definitely be getting more of my custom provided they don't keep running out of bread! Maybe this evening.....

I cannot count Japanese food as western, as good as it is for a change, it ain't western!

I therefore consider myself fortunate in both being able to afford the necessary to produce what I like to eat and also my limited ability to actually create it. China has certainly proved that necessity is the Mother of invention in my case and thank heavens for internet recipes!

So the Dragon returns tonight and Annie sometime tomorrow. No idea what time Annie gets back but Steph managed to book both outward and inward flights to ensure both times she was outside public transport times! With taxis inflating prices to 300\ she may decide to stay in the hotel she used on departure and taking a train or bus in the morning, that would probably work out at what a cab should cost, 200\.

Here's a photo of my Chinese New Year dinner. It couldn't have been any further removed from what my neighbours will have been eating! Hardly gourmet but by God I enjoyed it – and yes, the cheese sauce was my first effort at making from scratch. 

Thursday 15^th February, 2018 Chinese New Years Eve 1645

Well the stallholders at the veg place never took the Mickey. In fact they weren't there, their son was manning it. That often happens at holidays. You may think that's unkind on the sons or daughters of small business owners, they are supposed to be on school holidays. But think again. Those business owners work every day of the year to feed, clothe and pay for education for their children so that hopefully when they qualify they don't have to stand there in the freezing cold flogging potatoes or apples without ever going away on a break.

Anyway, I was delighted to see the same two pigeons I saw two days ago when I bought eggs. One was a particularly nice cerise-type colour. Nobody had eaten them and best of all, not only did it merely cost me 100\ but the boy knew exactly what I was there for. Last time he tried to catch them, thinking they had escaped from me!

So two birds have been given their lives back and hopefully I just guaranteed myself some good luck for the coming lunar year. Not that that is why I do it, if I was rich I would do it every day but I am not so I have now set myself a precedent in Lanzhou at least. And this time I took a couple of photos.

Komodo (Steph) sent a message from Florida this morning. At least she wasn't shot at yet another of their “will you ever learn?” school massacres. Were there any spices I needed? Jesus. She took a list of things to buy before she left. She has either lost it or forgotten about it. I have asked for parsley and dill plus baking powder, everything else I use I have ample. No doubt I shall see them both Tuesday or Wednesday, Steph gets back on Sunday, Annie on Monday. We shall go out for a celebration meal although it may not be seen as such by them.

This has been their first time away from home in a foreign country. They have just completed their first term of four here. Doubtless they missed their family, grits, chittlins etc and I doubt their frames of mind are the same as mine was when pursuing a seafaring career. Especially now they know the only place they can get decent western food is mine!!

So I am making a large lasagne plus a little one in an aluminium takeaway tray. The big one I will freeze for a meal with them and I shall have the little one tonight. I was going to make a load of small ones but found I have only so many pasta sheets left, I am not confident I could make my own yet although I will give it a go sometime.

Later if I am still awake I shall take my camera to the square and photograph the silly dog display they have this year and see what pyrotechnics get let off. I'd have bought a box of rockets myself but still I haven't seen anywhere selling the damned things.

1830

Please remind me never, ever to use Chinese onions in lasagne again!

Chinese new years day midnight

I should have just gone to bed. Last year there were at least a few families with sparklers and rockets. I just went down to the square and I would have been alone were it not for a solitary girl clearly arguing on the phone with her boyfriend. I could have taken these photos last week and I am so glad I never paid good money for a box of rockets now!

There are of course fireworks going off nearby but I doubt they will last beyond 0100. if I am still here this time next year I will either be somewhere else for a holiday or I will stay home. 

Valentines Day 2018 2200

Haha!

Most bloggers I believe post once they have had the chance to sanitise and glamourise their posts, presenting a rosy view of their existence.

From inception I decided this blog would be a warts and all job, narrating the highs, lows, triumphs, tragedies, disappointments and the nice bits. It has at times seen me look a hero, at many others a prat. The one thing I CAN say though is that it has always been nothing other than a true reflection of my life in China and aside from one or two omissions to spare the blushes or feelings of others, has ever been thus. Sometimes I do wish perhaps I adopted the policy of waiting a few days before going on the keyboard but then that would betray what I started out to do. I have had huge excitement over meetings or trips that never came about, expressed angry opinions on things only to have to retract once the full story emerged but above all it has been an honest reflection of my thoughts.

Tonight's Valentines date seemed to be on track. Adriana texted me mid-afternoon to enquire about the water. It was off when she contacted me yesterday and I told her I do not leave home without showering. Today the water was fine and she said she might be later than the original 1730 suggested, probably 1800. Fine, I asked her to text when she was five minutes away.

By 1810 and with no message, I sent one asking if she was on her way. Nothing. I sent another. I was getting annoyed because I would have batch-made lasagne today but didn't seeing as I was going out for dinner. At 1825 I sent another text to say that sod this, I was going out alone, I was clearly being stood up.

Sorry, I'm stuck. No, not in traffic, obviously with her family or friends. I am used to disappointment here and that does not annoy me. What DOES though is that it took me asking to get an eventual response. No courtesy in letting me know there may be a problem and I could have been still waiting. And sending me stupid picture smileys and things that appear on my phone as a series of □s hardly improves my humour.

Adriana has a dreadful reputation among the foreign teachers all over Lanzhou for telling tall tales of rape and other dreadful things that allegedly happen to her every week. I accepted her friendship in spite of this and in full knowledge in the hope I could perhaps get her to see the error of her ways. The opinions of the other foreigners matter not to me, I wanted to rise above that and do some good. She is now in peril of destroying the only foreign friendship she has in this city.

So anyway, I went out, I was all dressed up and in the mood. And I fancied trying out the Italian sausage in Subway. Hardly cordon bleu but yes, I wanted it. With cheese.

Some nights start off badly and yet turn out to be great. Others start off badly and just get worse.

Wondering why Subway was empty, I swiftly discovered they were closed because they had run out of bread! Great start. Ok, I found a decent little restaurant which to be fair I will visit again, had sweet pork, prawns and chives and a couple of ales. Then off to the bar for some gin.

Well the yappy dog was there but nobody else was! It was locked up. There went any notion of venturing out tomorrow for a new year party! I almost just got a taxi home there and then but as I needed the loo I decided to try and find a bar that was open (this was only 2030) and did. More staff than customers, two large screens, one showing some televised contest between “gamers” shooting computerised things which changed from lizards to birds to horses to ogres – enthralling of course, the other showing pop videos which did not match the songs being played. Two small cans of Bud and I'd had enough.

I got a taxi back and at one point the taxi driver asked me which way? Well he had taken me an unfamiliar route so I had no idea. In daylight I would have but with all the new year lights on I was disorientated. By the time I twigged where he had taken me we were heading away and had to do a U-turn! He must think I am thick. At least the meter remained on the minimum 10y fee.

So tomorrow I am staying put except for going to let those pigeons go free and maybe, just maybe, going to the square at midnight to see if anyone is letting off fireworks.  

Tuesday 13^th February, 2018 1630

Oh God, what a shopping trip............

I really had to get it done today, tomorrow will be much, much worse and Thursday like an England v Ireland maul. The strange thing was though that although the supermarket was busy even mid-afternoon, it wasn't too bad in most areas. The mayhem had its epicentre in the vegetable section. So much so in fact that I forewent getting the fruit I had decided to buy for making desserts and trying to bake a madeira cake using baking soda and a little yeast instead of powder.

The problem arose because of the store itself. Whilst there are two weighing machines for veg, there was but one person manning. Two people were having a gay old time weighing, pricing and pre-packing mushrooms, which are of course available loose as well and have a dedicated scale solely for them. They were oblivious to ever-lengthening queue of tomatoes, onions, peppers etc and of course being China, not a soul pointed out to the mushroomers that they could better serve by manning a veg scale. I would have abandoned the veg but really did need decent spuds and “proper” mushrooms, the closed cup type were annoyingly not being pre-packed.

And guess what I couldn't get? Peas! I buy the pre-priced bean type (cheap) which are frozen. They weren't in their usual freezer so I searched fruitlessly (literally and figuratively) and the only specimens were the half and half packs of peas and prawns. No bloody fish fingers either, although I managed to get battered fillets that seem to be mini chippie things. Other things I dropped from my list (no canned tuna either and I was going to have a tuna baguette for dinner) simply to be done with it.

Even so, it set me back 450\ or, taking into account different living standards/cost of living, around 200 pounds sterling. Not bad for a singleton!

Adriana contacted me earlier, she wants to “hang out” tomorrow evening for a few hours – dinner followed by the little gin bar. I have just realised tomorrow is Valentine's day but I assume that as it is on a different date here it is not significant. I damned well hope so!

The Dragon is back in town on Sunday so I assume I will be setting up my soup kitchen again, no idea when Annie returns, she hasn't answered my email. I would like to make a welcome back meal, next week shopping should be less crowded. And now of course I have no need to shop until after new year, anything I need is available around the corner on the stalls. Well, not fish but lamb, beef, chicken and pork anyway.

The local supermarket I think is definitely closed for the duration, not that I use it much, just for the odd snack or litre of milk. Also now I have bought a fedora I don't need it, the weather lately sees me wearing a short sleeved shirt under a coat. Typical.

Now I need to go and buy some extra large fresh eggs. The stallholders will think I have come to liberate the pigeons of course but no, that is for Thursday!

Sunday 11^th February, 2018 1930

Naturally I stayed up until the small hours watching England. Having already decided to do a mega-shop tomorrow there was nothing to get up for although I had fleeting notions of making myself a roast dinner.

Apathy overcame me and as time passed going out for dinner receded as did cooking, finally I decided to have a look in the little supermarket to see if I could find some frozen meat jaozi (dumplings) or failing that I was going to settle for a couple of packets of dried fish/squid.

When I finally moved my lazy bones I was horrified to discover the little supermarket was all shuttered down. As I can't recall them shutting completely last year, I have no idea whether they are simply operating reduced hours or not. Suddenly I was faced with using the noodle restaurant or starving. I spotted a tiny shop opposite and went in search of dried fish – stinks to high heaven but I have developed quite a taste for it (as long as I have toothpicks handy).

They had none, so I started looking for cakes and biscuits I could actually eat, I would have made my daily subsistence from that – after popping an extra Metformin tablet. Then I spotted something.

Lazy Hotpot. Never heard of it. I took a look, there were two types; one with fiery chilli pictures and one without. Quite heavy at about a pound in weight. The small print was too small and in red against a black background so without magnification I couldn't read it. I did however discern the instructions were also in English. I parted with 27y and came home.

Great. No need for an oven or microwave. All you need is cold water. I followed the directions, putting rice in one compartment and everything else in the larger one, poured water on the food then put the heating bag in the bottom before covering that in water. Reseal, sit back and wait fifteen minutes.

Well that bag is so effective it had the water boiling rapidly, fiercely enough for me to move the container to the windowsill in case it burnt my computer desk.

Sadly the food itself was terrible. I didn't know what half of it was and with the space available it wasn't possible to submerge all of it, resulting in very crispy lotus root and other unidentifiable morsels. The noodles and rice were cooked well though! The broth was far too spicy for me (and remember I shunned the hot one!) so I didn't enjoy it at all. I am still burping up dragon breath.

It did occur to me what a terrific idea it would be though if applied to a pot curry, sweet and sour or chop suey. Perfect to take to work, on a picnic, hiking (not that I do) etc – all you need is cold water. I'd take one a week for when I am marooned on the 7^th floor were they edible. I mean, I have seen gel packs for warming hands but never a mini-sack that boils water when immersed. I wonder if the army has similar for manoeuvres?

Saturday 10^th February, 2018 1730

Excelled myself today. Finally went for that haircut but had to wait while a woman was finished off and another chap had his (there's only one barber since the girl left). The fellow before me had quite a mop of hair and as so many do, he sported far more on top than elsewhere.

When he took to the chair I thought it would be some time while he had it carefully styled but to my amazement the barber set his clippers to one above clean-shaven and took the back and sides down to stubble! The thatch on top was treated more kindly and merely reduced in height. By the time he left he looked like a freshly-pulled carrot with a five o'clock shadow beneath the leaves. Glad I don't follow fashion.

I left there, short all over, and went in search of fodder. Chicken and awful fries were what I settled for and afterwards I set sail for the underground market. My Ferrari watch was only sweeping every five seconds so time for a new battery. Done, in fact that was the most expensive thing in the entire day's outing at 50\. Next, speakers for the laptop at 40\. It wasn't that cold outside but with a thought towards start of term at the end of the month and chilly early mornings, I did look at hats. There was a Homburg in dark blue but the back turned upwards and it wasn't for me. There was a black Fedora which was though! 30\ and I left looking like an aged, past it gangster.

All I have to do for the rest of the day is stay awake so I can watch England. I went to bed late last night but not late enough and annoyingly woke early. I have also twigged that for once I can watch the 6 nations with impunity as I won't be working Mondays or Tuesdays! 

Friday 9^th February, 2018 1930

God I am so lazy!

I was going to have a haircut and if necessary buy that hat, then go food shopping. My normal wake-up routine follows a strict pattern: see what downloads are available on iPlayer, check email and Facebook, then newspapers in turn – Luton, Bucks, BBC, Telegraph, Mirror, and when I want fiction, the Mail. Every couple of days I check China Daily.

Sometimes that takes a while, it did so today. Instead of showering afterwards I started watching catch-up TV on ITV and there was a fair amount. The more time that elapsed the more my plans changed. I went from going out late, haircut, dinner out, shopping through every variation, culminating in going to the jing jo shop and making my own dinner of poached eggs on toasted stale burger buns! It was rather silly because I hate weekends in the supermarket so now shopping may well be Monday, although the haircut I can get tomorrow or Sunday. In fact that is probably a good plan. A big shop so I can stay away after Monday. Friday next is new year and I avoid supermarkets like the plague a couple of days before – it's like arriving at a Primark shop as they are about to start their new year sale! So I will be eating out (or not eating as the case may be) this weekend.

Another good thing that came from Joan's visit (of course the most important was seeing her again) was that she was pragmatic about her exam failure. I think deep down she knew. With all the wisdom of someone whose first university was as a teacher, I offered examples of successful people who never attained degrees and said it was hardly the end of the world. The problem is, in China, no degree IS a problem, even though the degrees are often in pointless subjects.

A little later she decided if she didn't study another year in an effort to pass (I don't think she will) and she cannot get a decent job, she wanted to open a bar with her sister (real sister, not Chinese sister, which usually denotes a cousin). To my dismay she never came out with what I was hoping she would which was, would I be interested? Maybe she thought I would laugh, she cannot have realised that would be my ticket to retirement here.

So I emailed her when she was home. As someone previously suggested, I stipulated I would need to be the majority shareholder but only to safeguard my future in China. It's all pie in the sky at present and actually quite frightening with initial set-up costs, not just for a bar but one which sells western pub grub, proper stuff, not frozen supermarket fodder, made on the premises.

I won't want to actually work beyond dispensing the odd beer and plenty of bonhomie but I am happy to teach a chef how to cook lasagne, pizzas, chilli etc and if we started it in four years' time I wouldn't need a salary and wouldn't take one until we turned a profit. I got the impression that she was hoping I would offer.

Of course the plan could evaporate if she actually finds a good job, marries a millionaire or any number of things but it is entirely possible. Most importantly, if it happens, we trust each other implicitly.  

Wednesday 7^th February, 2018 2000

Joan's lengthy trip home yesterday turned into something more akin to my experiences instead. She had opted not to fly from here to Hefei and then get a train to her hometown. To be fair, under normal circumstances the time spent getting from here to our airport, flight, bus to the train, train to hometown then bus home would have equated to about the same time.

Normally.

The bullet trains in China leave smack on time. Always. Only hers didn't. I had left her at the station (can't enter without a ticket for a trip) and she boarded ten minutes before departure. It never left until an hour after it was supposed to. I have never heard of that and the “reason” when she asked a guard was they hadn't been given the go signal. Well that's not a reason, people want to know WHY the signal hasn't been given or at the very least a “we don't know either”!

Follow that with an unscheduled half hour stop later in the middle of nowhere and you can imagine her feelings. She had booked the two trains and was praying to make the last bus home on arrival, which leaves at 1930. Her train was due in at 1933 and she hoped by running to be able to catch it. She was concerned over taking a taxi – young girl, dark night etc.

Unbelievably, she got the bus! She arrived an hour and a half late so my guess is the train and rail companies spoke with each other and a special bus was laid on. Now if that was the case, it's the equivalent of asking all the UK utility companies to dig a ditch in the road and work together! But it happened here. Fair play.

I have spent a bit of time today on an issue which annoyed me at first, angered me later and then ultimately made my blood boil, congeal with determination and see me on a mission.

This is nothing to do with China. Back in 2015 Mum was cold called by POP Telecom and persuaded to switch from BT because POP were cheaper. She was barely home an hour after yet another hospital stay (congestive heart failure was well under weigh by then) yet despite knowing this the salesman switched her (I have the call on my laptop).

No T&Cs were sent until 6 months later when requested by my sister who was horrified to find the bills were often double what they were with BT. Contract cancelled and POP promptly extracted six hundred and fifty quid from Mum's account.

Ok so firstly the call itself was illegal. Mum was with TPS for a decade by then, ergo the call should never even have been made. No T&Cs? Direct contravention of the distance selling regs. Forget the age befuddled thing and the recent hospital discharge, the aforementioned should be enough.

I approached POP reasonably (I know that's hard to believe) and their response led me to believe they never even read my email, it was simply “NO”. I politely suggested they take a longer look because I would not simply fade away and again was met with a blank refusal. I thanked them for their time and informed them that I had thought it fair to warn them of things to come.

Step 2 was the Ombudsman who agreed with me but due to the time elapsed could do nothing. Can't blame sis, she was working in a responsible management position whilst attending to Mum's needs and weekly hospital stays – she was frazzled.

Step 3 and 4 were started today. Hopefully I can lodge a complaint with the Information Commissioner's Office after what I sent them (big fine please!) and I have contacted a friend in the national press who used to be an investigative journalist. He was promoted a few years ago but suggested I send it to his old sidekick.

We shall see what transpires. POP really do not want to get as far as steps 5, 6 or 7, believe me. I will get the money back or if I fail I will cost them far more anyway. They will know they should have been reasonable. It will be to late for regret then.

On another topic, I nearly choked on my jing jo earlier when I checked my UK bank account. I am trying to figure out what I can afford in summer now that Alice may be coming with me. Things such as getting her to make her own way to Shanghai or Guangzhou to avoid my having to go via Hefei and spend a night in an hotel because the school only pays for a flight to a main airport and without a ticket direct I just know it will cause aggravation.

There was a payment made two days ago to SX Power Investments. Never heard of them? Me neither! Mental calculations of the exchange rate told me it was possibly the Holiday Inn bill from Xian but to be sure I sent a message to my bank asking for clarification. They just replied as I was typing and it appears it probably is but would you not expect Holiday Inn to identify as such to your bank? It's no different to being in a Greek taverna, paying for dinner and on your return home getting a payment on your account to Nico's Massage Parlour! 

Tuesday 6^th February, 2018 1100

All over now. Joan is currently on the bullet train back to Xian from where she will take another train to her hometown of Suzhou, Anhui. Suddenly my life seems very empty once again.

Apart from the frosty train journey over the ticket collection fiasco, the five days were wonderfully just like the old days. In fact even that train trip was reminiscent! One very good piece of news to come out of it was that despite Chizhou university bringing in sharpshooters last summer to cull the wild dogs roaming the campus, Mummy dog still lives on, a true survivor. She is by all accounts showing her age. She was there when I first went so she is at least eight, maybe nine years old. When you think her entire life has been spent outdoors, summer and winter, it's probably a more advanced age than your average, cosseted pet mutt. But I was so pleased to know she is still around and unbelievably still breeding!

I didn't take many photos during the visit, I already have the terracotta warriors from last time anyway. However, I took two in a small cafe we went to before entering the Terracotta exhibition. The house specialty was biang biang noodles, a dish with fettuccine-like noodles, cabbage and fiery spice. What was interesting to learn was the sign on the wall with one very complicated “picture” of Chinese writing was merely one character! It says “biang”.

Others were taken in The Cyclist restaurant, 

the Holiday Inn executive lounge

 and another in My Brother's Boat Japanese restaurant here in Lanzhou. 

Believe it or not, on the dish in front of Joan in Brother's Boat is a single prawn! I had never noticed it on the menu before (in the photo it just looks like a fish) but that will be a must-have next time I go!

The final picture was taken last night. She wasn't keen on dining out all the time and she always did like my cooking so she has been treated to fish fingers (she had never had them before), homemade chicken curry with chapattis (envious as she tried to make one for her family and it was terrible) and last night, homemade burgers with ridiculously huge patties (like those silly gournet burgers in pubs that require a skewer to keep them from falling apart) followed by apple pie and custard. I couldn't resist personalising the pie! She has a third of said pie in her bag along with snacks to help her survive the nine hours on trains and an hour on the bus once she arrives.

And you know, calculating the cost (I paid for her travel as well as mine) of trains, taxis (must have spent 600\ on cabs alone), food and an executive room in the hotel, it was about the equivalent of my winter travel allowance from the school. Because here she could stay FOC with me costs were low, had I gone to her I would have flown first class, stayed in the Hilton etc and it would easily have been double or treble that amount.

I have three weeks left before work starts again. It is tempting to get away somewhere for another couple of days!