Saturday 29th October, 2016 1930
Well I think we all knew that the I’m All Right Jack wasn’t going to last long, didn’t we? On Friday morning I too was bereft of internet access.
As it happens, I had made hay whilst the sun shone and actually have a goodly amount of BBC programmes stored up for just such an eventuality, having learnt my lesson the last time. When I am connected I watch ITV, YouTube and other sites I can’t download from. It doesn’t make the situation any less annoying but it does make the evening a bit more tolerable.
These days of course, having no internet is miffing for everyone but what it does is completely isolate me. I can hardly go for a chinwag and a pint down the local, I’m a foreigner and one who is completely segregated from my birds of a feather - even my students are an hour away. So yes, isolated. The school may well have advised me that the overcrowded bus problem was “normal” (for them at least, not for me and a typical cop-out for them) but this prolonged nonsense with the internet cannot possibly be considered “normal” unless China has suddenly rejoined the ranks of the word’s poorest nations.
Yesterday I had a first. The voluntary class didn’t want me to show them part of a film! Instead they wanted to communicate. I nearly passed out. Fine by me and as a reward I played Family Fortunes with them. There were only seven in class this time (doubtless the cold and snow deterred others) and they enjoyed it. I suspect Fridays will now involve activities. If only the Cyprus class were the same.
It was interesting to note that whilst my building has had the heating on for a few days now, the classrooms haven’t and neither have the student dormitories, at least not on east campus.
This morning I sent Brenda a text to say that I hadn’t had internet (by then) for 36 hours and I assumed it would be days before anything was done, did she know of an internet café nearby I could take my computer to? I need to take my own because otherwise I can’t access my email, Google not being in favour with Beijing. This time I deliberately avoided complaining because they surely must think my middle name is “moan” by now. I don’t think I will send her any more messages at weekends because she never replies until Monday.
Annoyingly I had to go shopping; although with a little patience and by judiciously waiting until I could see two buses about to arrive at once (both ways) and then hanging back for the second, I bagged a seat out and back. Apart from thinking what on earth I could eat for my dinners, on the journey my mind was churning wondering how I was at least going to get an hour online. Eventually I plumped for stuffed peppers tonight and probably a roast chicken dinner for tomorrow. There is an internet café above the supermarket but I didn’t fancy going back on the bus in the evening because the last time I was in that neck of the woods at night it was impossible to even think about squeezing on a bus, let alone toting a laptop bag to boot. On that occasion I gave up and took a taxi but I have to conserve money.
Back near base I had a thought. Thirty yards away is a small hotel where a couple of times I went and drank a beer in the lobby not long after I came here. I wondered if they had internet so popped in to ask. Just my luck for there to be nobody who spoke English there today. I came home, dumped the shopping and lugged the laptop to the hotel on spec. The Chinese think nothing of going there, using their mobiles to access the free wifi and drinking free green tea but I couldn’t do that so I had to buy a beer. And yes, their internet is working so I spent two hours (and 10y on two small cans so as not to feel guilty) but managed to deal with everything. I even managed to partially download some iPlayer shows but I wasn’t going to sit there all night waiting. Not with plenty to watch when I got home.
At least now I have a relatively simple way to check in online at some point each day, for surely it will be the same tomorrow. I can post this while I am at it and take some disguised jing jo in an iced tea bottle so I can make one can of beer last forever and for show!
Sunday 30th 1520
Late last night I had what I thought was a brainwave. As I live so close to the hotel and now knew the name of it (their internet is also so-named) which is Shijai, I wondered if I could get a signal at home. My heart leapt for joy when I saw I had three bars on the signal indicator! Surely I could simply connect from home?
My happiness was short-lived, I have no idea why it won’t connect because the signal strength should be enough, however I was foiled. I am now about to go over there after doing a mini shop, at which time I hope I can download enough to watch tonight. Tomorrow I WILL be moaning, I think weekdays are fair game for complaints, especially after four days without internet when there’s access just yards away?
The roast dinner will have to wait. I washed the dishes just now and then cleaned my oven. Well, sort of. I hate cleaning ovens. You can’t! well at least I can’t - the best I can do is clean the grid and the drip tray. The bulkheads are impossible. I had a Neff once in the UK that was allegedly self-cleaning. It wasn’t.
Sunday, 30 October 2016
Thursday, 27 October 2016
Thursday 27th October, 2016 0545
No, not a late night, just doodling before leaving for the bus.
The women who work in supermarkets here really get on my wick, always have done. You want Lux soap they will try to sell you something that costs thrice, you want Anchor butter they will try to get you to buy President, you get the picture. They are worst of all in the booze section.
Yesterday I went shopping, purely this time to get some plonk and buns to have my hot dog sausages in for dinner. The wine I have latched on to here costs 14.5y and although a tad insipid is perfectly quaffable - and cheap. Today it was on offer at 9.9y a bottle so instead of buying 3 bottles I loaded the trolley with 6. The assistant must be a screw loose, for she hurried over to me and tried to get me to buy the same brand but costing 18.5y a bottle. Sure, I have had it and it’s ok but am I really going to change my mind and pay double?? Just the same as in Chizhou (they gave up on me in the end) they know by now I use a bottle a day and always it is the same type. I’m not sure if the wine witches or the clothes chuggers are worse.
I left my laptop on all night downloading and was dismayed to see when I woke that I had no internet, I really thought I had found the problem. Actually I may well have, for evidence suggests that the whole campus was out until 1400. Since then (or at least until I went to bed) I have remained connected. This afternoon the IT man is bringing me a new, long cable so I can lodge the router where it was before. Fingers crossed.
But that means Brenda acted on my email of complaint, ergo doubtless words have been had with the bus driver as well. That could be sticky. Cutting my nose off to spite my face springs to mind as to what others may think but I am seriously considering boycotting the afternoon bus entirely. Granted it would mean I would leave earlier to take public transport and get home later but I would be in control of whether I was on time for work or not. It would cost me 32y a month. Or for half of that I could take the bus in but bugger off when I finish instead of waiting for 50 minutes only to be possibly confronted by a herd of wildebeest scrambling to get a seat as happened on Tuesday. I have until tomorrow to decide.
This afternoon I have the girls coming and I think David. The ham needs liberating. If I have time after class I may try to make cheesy biscuits, the recipe looks simplicity itself but when it involves me and pastry anything can happen. Suzy posted a letter to the UK for me this afternoon, it was not without difficulty because two post offices demanded to know what was in the package and so she left. I will not say what the contents were other than to say they were quite innocuous and definitely legal but a couple of jobsworths decided they were forbidden. Hopefully the envelope is now winging its way to Blighty and Suzy will get her reward when dinner is served.
2115
Well even if I say so myself, tonight’s ham was the best I have ever made. The reason was because rather than simply boiling, I boiled for a while and then honey roasted it. The trick was in being adventurous by not overdoing it. It was moist and melted in the mouth (before it has always been a touch on the dry side), everyone said they loved it and we live and learn. Ham courtesy of ingredients sent from Doubletree Hilton in Shenyang! Cheersn and thanks to Steve Magor, the best Hilton group GM I know! The only one too but forgive the unashamed plug as he is from my home town and an old and dear friend.
Earlier I was waiting for the internet man who I thought was coming wit a new cable. The old one clearly wasn’t working and I had proved that by using my own cable brought from Chizhou. No, he decided to lop off the ends and fit new plugs. That didn’t work, so he then used some gizmo to test connectivity or whatever and discovered the wire (I assume) was faulty. Then he summoned a teacher to translate.
Someone has hacked my internet account. Should I care? I don’t pay for it, all I want is to get or stay online. Not my fault after all. With that, he buggered off saying he had someone else to see. Great, I had no internet again! Luckily my wifi that I had adjusted the other day got me back online and reconnected after he left. Phew.
I had a frantic afternoon trying to prepare the meal (including the cheesy biscuits) and also in vain going to the post room to see if my UK debit card had arrived (it hadn’t of course) but I was on track for eating at about 1730 because they had said they would arrive at five and of course they came shortly after four!
Meantime I thought I would use my time to make another twenty sausages before the skins went bad and this time found a way to not only do it efficiently but also manage to sit down in the process. The next time I open a packet of casings there will be none wasted although I will have arms like an orang-utan with the weight of mince I will need to carry from BHG. Christmas party is now set for Christmas Eve and now I know I can feature bangers.
The Branston went down very well. The biscuits just a little and although they taste very cheesy I can’t help but think there must be a better recipe.
Afterwards I showed them Watership Down and then played some music. At 2100 there was knocking on the door. Who the hell would be visiting me unannounced at that time? A man and a woman (she spoke English so I assume she was along as interpreter). Could I use my wifi? Yes, listen, the music is on the internet. I couldn’t say YouTube because that would betray my use of a VPN.
They wanted to investigate and I was beginning to wonder what the hell I had started with my constant complaints about the internet. It transpires that now I am the ONLY person in the entire building who is actually able to use wifi!! Someone has hacked the university site. I don’t think I am under suspicion and don’t care if I am. I have no idea how to hack and anyway I had two weeks of internet hell. I’m all right now Jack.
I reckon someone outside the university is creaming off free access.
Oh and my complaint about the bus? Sorry, it’s normal. Well not to me it isn’t. at least now I have a means to make my own choice. That may invoke my Conway training at being a tighthead prop! Or not. If others are going to be rude, I can do that better.
It snowed for a couple of hours this morning and it was damned cold. The problem was my home felt pleasant so I only used the lucky jacket - if it wasn’t cold inside then it couldn’t be freezing outside.
How wrong could I have been??
I was pizzletwisted waiting for the bus. The classroom and school were cold too. Oh how I wished I had put the coat on! When I got home and opened my door I was surprised to find the flat wasn’t freezing despite outside being Siberian. They must have turned the central heating on (albeit low) last night. The radiators are just warm enough to make it pleasant. Hence I left with a false sense of climate this morning. I won’t repeat the mistake tomorrow.
No, not a late night, just doodling before leaving for the bus.
The women who work in supermarkets here really get on my wick, always have done. You want Lux soap they will try to sell you something that costs thrice, you want Anchor butter they will try to get you to buy President, you get the picture. They are worst of all in the booze section.
Yesterday I went shopping, purely this time to get some plonk and buns to have my hot dog sausages in for dinner. The wine I have latched on to here costs 14.5y and although a tad insipid is perfectly quaffable - and cheap. Today it was on offer at 9.9y a bottle so instead of buying 3 bottles I loaded the trolley with 6. The assistant must be a screw loose, for she hurried over to me and tried to get me to buy the same brand but costing 18.5y a bottle. Sure, I have had it and it’s ok but am I really going to change my mind and pay double?? Just the same as in Chizhou (they gave up on me in the end) they know by now I use a bottle a day and always it is the same type. I’m not sure if the wine witches or the clothes chuggers are worse.
I left my laptop on all night downloading and was dismayed to see when I woke that I had no internet, I really thought I had found the problem. Actually I may well have, for evidence suggests that the whole campus was out until 1400. Since then (or at least until I went to bed) I have remained connected. This afternoon the IT man is bringing me a new, long cable so I can lodge the router where it was before. Fingers crossed.
But that means Brenda acted on my email of complaint, ergo doubtless words have been had with the bus driver as well. That could be sticky. Cutting my nose off to spite my face springs to mind as to what others may think but I am seriously considering boycotting the afternoon bus entirely. Granted it would mean I would leave earlier to take public transport and get home later but I would be in control of whether I was on time for work or not. It would cost me 32y a month. Or for half of that I could take the bus in but bugger off when I finish instead of waiting for 50 minutes only to be possibly confronted by a herd of wildebeest scrambling to get a seat as happened on Tuesday. I have until tomorrow to decide.
This afternoon I have the girls coming and I think David. The ham needs liberating. If I have time after class I may try to make cheesy biscuits, the recipe looks simplicity itself but when it involves me and pastry anything can happen. Suzy posted a letter to the UK for me this afternoon, it was not without difficulty because two post offices demanded to know what was in the package and so she left. I will not say what the contents were other than to say they were quite innocuous and definitely legal but a couple of jobsworths decided they were forbidden. Hopefully the envelope is now winging its way to Blighty and Suzy will get her reward when dinner is served.
2115
Well even if I say so myself, tonight’s ham was the best I have ever made. The reason was because rather than simply boiling, I boiled for a while and then honey roasted it. The trick was in being adventurous by not overdoing it. It was moist and melted in the mouth (before it has always been a touch on the dry side), everyone said they loved it and we live and learn. Ham courtesy of ingredients sent from Doubletree Hilton in Shenyang! Cheersn and thanks to Steve Magor, the best Hilton group GM I know! The only one too but forgive the unashamed plug as he is from my home town and an old and dear friend.
Earlier I was waiting for the internet man who I thought was coming wit a new cable. The old one clearly wasn’t working and I had proved that by using my own cable brought from Chizhou. No, he decided to lop off the ends and fit new plugs. That didn’t work, so he then used some gizmo to test connectivity or whatever and discovered the wire (I assume) was faulty. Then he summoned a teacher to translate.
Someone has hacked my internet account. Should I care? I don’t pay for it, all I want is to get or stay online. Not my fault after all. With that, he buggered off saying he had someone else to see. Great, I had no internet again! Luckily my wifi that I had adjusted the other day got me back online and reconnected after he left. Phew.
I had a frantic afternoon trying to prepare the meal (including the cheesy biscuits) and also in vain going to the post room to see if my UK debit card had arrived (it hadn’t of course) but I was on track for eating at about 1730 because they had said they would arrive at five and of course they came shortly after four!
Meantime I thought I would use my time to make another twenty sausages before the skins went bad and this time found a way to not only do it efficiently but also manage to sit down in the process. The next time I open a packet of casings there will be none wasted although I will have arms like an orang-utan with the weight of mince I will need to carry from BHG. Christmas party is now set for Christmas Eve and now I know I can feature bangers.
The Branston went down very well. The biscuits just a little and although they taste very cheesy I can’t help but think there must be a better recipe.
Afterwards I showed them Watership Down and then played some music. At 2100 there was knocking on the door. Who the hell would be visiting me unannounced at that time? A man and a woman (she spoke English so I assume she was along as interpreter). Could I use my wifi? Yes, listen, the music is on the internet. I couldn’t say YouTube because that would betray my use of a VPN.
They wanted to investigate and I was beginning to wonder what the hell I had started with my constant complaints about the internet. It transpires that now I am the ONLY person in the entire building who is actually able to use wifi!! Someone has hacked the university site. I don’t think I am under suspicion and don’t care if I am. I have no idea how to hack and anyway I had two weeks of internet hell. I’m all right now Jack.
I reckon someone outside the university is creaming off free access.
Oh and my complaint about the bus? Sorry, it’s normal. Well not to me it isn’t. at least now I have a means to make my own choice. That may invoke my Conway training at being a tighthead prop! Or not. If others are going to be rude, I can do that better.
It snowed for a couple of hours this morning and it was damned cold. The problem was my home felt pleasant so I only used the lucky jacket - if it wasn’t cold inside then it couldn’t be freezing outside.
How wrong could I have been??
I was pizzletwisted waiting for the bus. The classroom and school were cold too. Oh how I wished I had put the coat on! When I got home and opened my door I was surprised to find the flat wasn’t freezing despite outside being Siberian. They must have turned the central heating on (albeit low) last night. The radiators are just warm enough to make it pleasant. Hence I left with a false sense of climate this morning. I won’t repeat the mistake tomorrow.
Tuesday, 25 October 2016
Monday 24th October, 2016 2110
Nothing to post today. Janet’s out of hospital and popped in for a quick chat near the end of my class before taking her mother into the same hospital. Her only comment really was that my face was red. It is always red and if it isn’t it means I am ill, I told her. No it’s more red today. Ever thought it’s because it’s sodding cold today??
And certainly the cold is marching in rapidly. It won’t be long before the big jackets come out and I will need earmuffs and gloves. Daytimes aren’t too bad but heck, leaving home before 0700 and waiting for the bus is a bit parky now.
Tonight I was undecided about what to have for dinner. En route from school to supermarket I mulled over the alternatives. I didn’t really want to be too gung ho, I was knackered. I don’t sleep that well on my slab as it is but of late it has been worse. The most memorable bad dreams are those that wake me at who knows when, the ones that make me believe I turned the alarm off when it sounded and I am now late for the bus.
I am guessing the nightmares are down to the facts that my Cyprus students are now treating my class as a drop in as and when (and there’s absolutely nothing I can use by way of sanction aside from exhibiting my disappointment, although now Janet has seen for herself, as their form teacher she can do something about it) and the certain knowledge that unless by some miracle my new UK debit card arrives in the nick of time, I will be penniless a week before payday.
I hate both the aforementioned, the first because I start to question the quality of my classes even though I have mutes for pupils and the second because I overspent and if I didn’t need shoes and could have suffered the cold more I wouldn’t have bought new clogs and a heater. But then I did think the card would have arrived by now. Embarrassment looms.
Not in the sausage department however! I eventually decided on bangers, egg and chips just to see if my efforts were worthwhile. Oh they were! Best bangers I have had in China! Fair enough, next time I won’t cook them as long, the skins are actually nice and thin (I hate the ones that are like chewing a hippo) but the taste was lovely. Now I can experiment with different stuffings - chilli/curry/apple etc. Seeing as I am still churning out footings for buildings instead of bread it is so nice to have a success in the kitchen.
Tuesday 25th 2130
Oh boy, a couple of things to talk about today though!
Suzy sent me a message to say that she would need to miss the first part of my class this afternoon as she had to see the notary. They all have to occasionally, it’s to do with papers for Cyprus so I tried to text back it was fine. The message refused to send and kept being put in the outbox. Suspicions welled up and so I tried to call her. My account was overdue! Hold up, I had 37y last week then suddenly nothing, on Saturday we put 100y on the phone and it is now overdue again after a couple of days??? Dark thoughts of phone fraud surfaced. Impossible, I delete any messages in Chinese and never ever call a missed number back unless I know who it is. Either way, I can’t afford to keep pumping money into a phone when I can’t even use it.
Not only did I now have internet which was at best hit and miss on getting online, now I couldn’t even text anyone to complain. I couldn’t even call the phone company because the automated responses (apart from the one demanding more money of course) are all in Chinese.
In foul humour I set off for the school bus. I try, I really do, to find the good things in life but today that became hard. Nothing once again was going my way. Sometimes despair creeps up on you, in my case the hump did. As I am typing my internet has for the umpteenth time today, disconnected. What more can I say? Hopefully I will get it back to post this later.
There were three passengers on the bus with the madman driving and for the first time in China I saw road rage. It doesn’t happen here because everyone expects lunacy. Clearly our driver surpassed that as a car overtook us and slammed on his brakes in front of us. It takes a lot to get that reaction here.
In my second period this afternoon the activity was set as getting my phone back to being workable. The problem was the lack of ID! Jesus! David used his ID and now my phone works again. As a reward I taught them how to play hangman. Oh, and the 37y I lost last week? Miraculously it is back.
On Tuesdays I have 50 minutes to wait for the return bus so I sat in my office for a while and went down about fifteen minutes before time. One of the earlier inbound passengers (Betty I think) was already waiting so we chatted. She picked my brains with some sentences from a book she is translating into Chinese, hoping to make it a money-spinner. Just before the bus came I observed a rather large group congregating. Tuesday’s return trip usually sees David join us along with a couple of others. These people I had never seen before, let alone on the bus, surely they were there for something else?
The bus arrived and they immediately filled it to overloaded. I looked on aghast and commented that I assumed the school had pressed the other bus into service to cope? I can be silly at times I agree. Steve, get in! It’s full. They will make space.
Right, sitting on each others’ laps. Get in the front with the driver. I could have but why should I be special - and what about David and Betty? The driver terrifies me as it is with just a few people aboard, I wasn’t about to countenance sitting at the sharp end of an overloaded vehicle. If ever I decided to commit suicide that would not be my preferred method, that’s for sure.
I went off to try and find a public bus, knowing I needed to take at least two and yet not knowing which numbers. Betty refused to leave me and I was glad, she knew all the right buses. We got lucky and caught just two buses (and both got seats) but it took 90 minutes. The school driver is now shitting himself (David never texted as such but I read between the lines) and although it was hardly his fault all those people turned up, I had no option but to highlight his level of driving in my complaint email to the school earlier.
All in all a perfectly rotten end to a miserable day. I am off tomorrow.
Nothing to post today. Janet’s out of hospital and popped in for a quick chat near the end of my class before taking her mother into the same hospital. Her only comment really was that my face was red. It is always red and if it isn’t it means I am ill, I told her. No it’s more red today. Ever thought it’s because it’s sodding cold today??
And certainly the cold is marching in rapidly. It won’t be long before the big jackets come out and I will need earmuffs and gloves. Daytimes aren’t too bad but heck, leaving home before 0700 and waiting for the bus is a bit parky now.
Tonight I was undecided about what to have for dinner. En route from school to supermarket I mulled over the alternatives. I didn’t really want to be too gung ho, I was knackered. I don’t sleep that well on my slab as it is but of late it has been worse. The most memorable bad dreams are those that wake me at who knows when, the ones that make me believe I turned the alarm off when it sounded and I am now late for the bus.
I am guessing the nightmares are down to the facts that my Cyprus students are now treating my class as a drop in as and when (and there’s absolutely nothing I can use by way of sanction aside from exhibiting my disappointment, although now Janet has seen for herself, as their form teacher she can do something about it) and the certain knowledge that unless by some miracle my new UK debit card arrives in the nick of time, I will be penniless a week before payday.
I hate both the aforementioned, the first because I start to question the quality of my classes even though I have mutes for pupils and the second because I overspent and if I didn’t need shoes and could have suffered the cold more I wouldn’t have bought new clogs and a heater. But then I did think the card would have arrived by now. Embarrassment looms.
Not in the sausage department however! I eventually decided on bangers, egg and chips just to see if my efforts were worthwhile. Oh they were! Best bangers I have had in China! Fair enough, next time I won’t cook them as long, the skins are actually nice and thin (I hate the ones that are like chewing a hippo) but the taste was lovely. Now I can experiment with different stuffings - chilli/curry/apple etc. Seeing as I am still churning out footings for buildings instead of bread it is so nice to have a success in the kitchen.
Tuesday 25th 2130
Oh boy, a couple of things to talk about today though!
Suzy sent me a message to say that she would need to miss the first part of my class this afternoon as she had to see the notary. They all have to occasionally, it’s to do with papers for Cyprus so I tried to text back it was fine. The message refused to send and kept being put in the outbox. Suspicions welled up and so I tried to call her. My account was overdue! Hold up, I had 37y last week then suddenly nothing, on Saturday we put 100y on the phone and it is now overdue again after a couple of days??? Dark thoughts of phone fraud surfaced. Impossible, I delete any messages in Chinese and never ever call a missed number back unless I know who it is. Either way, I can’t afford to keep pumping money into a phone when I can’t even use it.
Not only did I now have internet which was at best hit and miss on getting online, now I couldn’t even text anyone to complain. I couldn’t even call the phone company because the automated responses (apart from the one demanding more money of course) are all in Chinese.
In foul humour I set off for the school bus. I try, I really do, to find the good things in life but today that became hard. Nothing once again was going my way. Sometimes despair creeps up on you, in my case the hump did. As I am typing my internet has for the umpteenth time today, disconnected. What more can I say? Hopefully I will get it back to post this later.
There were three passengers on the bus with the madman driving and for the first time in China I saw road rage. It doesn’t happen here because everyone expects lunacy. Clearly our driver surpassed that as a car overtook us and slammed on his brakes in front of us. It takes a lot to get that reaction here.
In my second period this afternoon the activity was set as getting my phone back to being workable. The problem was the lack of ID! Jesus! David used his ID and now my phone works again. As a reward I taught them how to play hangman. Oh, and the 37y I lost last week? Miraculously it is back.
On Tuesdays I have 50 minutes to wait for the return bus so I sat in my office for a while and went down about fifteen minutes before time. One of the earlier inbound passengers (Betty I think) was already waiting so we chatted. She picked my brains with some sentences from a book she is translating into Chinese, hoping to make it a money-spinner. Just before the bus came I observed a rather large group congregating. Tuesday’s return trip usually sees David join us along with a couple of others. These people I had never seen before, let alone on the bus, surely they were there for something else?
The bus arrived and they immediately filled it to overloaded. I looked on aghast and commented that I assumed the school had pressed the other bus into service to cope? I can be silly at times I agree. Steve, get in! It’s full. They will make space.
Right, sitting on each others’ laps. Get in the front with the driver. I could have but why should I be special - and what about David and Betty? The driver terrifies me as it is with just a few people aboard, I wasn’t about to countenance sitting at the sharp end of an overloaded vehicle. If ever I decided to commit suicide that would not be my preferred method, that’s for sure.
I went off to try and find a public bus, knowing I needed to take at least two and yet not knowing which numbers. Betty refused to leave me and I was glad, she knew all the right buses. We got lucky and caught just two buses (and both got seats) but it took 90 minutes. The school driver is now shitting himself (David never texted as such but I read between the lines) and although it was hardly his fault all those people turned up, I had no option but to highlight his level of driving in my complaint email to the school earlier.
All in all a perfectly rotten end to a miserable day. I am off tomorrow.
Sunday, 23 October 2016
Saturday 22nd October, 2016 1445
Sausage making. Definitely NOT for the first-timer!
I can only blame myself for not carrying out research first. I opened a packet and my immediate thought was “what the hell did I buy?” for I was confronted by a tangled mess of what can only be described as looking like someone had ripped up an old shirt into tiny ribbons and then covered the jumble with rock salt. No way were these sausage casings. I threw the knotty mass away.
Then, I certainly should have done this first because I fully expected tubes that were ready for immediate use, and only then, did I do my homework on the internet. They are supposed to be soaked in water for twelve hours!
Luckily I bought three packets and they are cheap. Whilst I remain unconvinced that they will actually transform into something remotely like sausage skins, I shall soak them overnight and see what transpires in the morning. If they do, I reckon there’s about half a mile of the stuff and no way do I have anywhere near enough mince to fill them all.
I have a feeling this is either going to be a complete waste of time or a very steep learning curve. It would have helped if the packaging had instructions in English or even if I had asked one of the girls to translate the Chinese last night. Or I had checked first online. Idiot.
The mince will not be wasted, I can use it for anything such as Bolognese, lasagne, burgers or even skinless bangers but oh boy, I seem to have chosen something that’s even less straightforward than I had suspected!
Sunday 23rd 1630
Well the two girls had something else to occupy them today so they made their excuses regarding not coming this evening to sample my ham. Not a problem, it has only been curing for four days and can sit in the fridge a lot longer than that.
So this morning I showered and then sat at my laptop - well, in between having to get up and reboot the router in the living room with irksome regularity, the internet is now a complete joke - and trying to think of excuses as to why I shouldn’t take a stab at sausage making. After some time I realised I had no excuse, I had no intention of going to town, it was now or never.
Anyone who has ever done it will either know exactly what I am saying or label me a complete dolt but Jesus, what a bloody job!
The worms I had left soaking overnight were still the same size, except they were now extremely slippery. Armed with my manual mincer, I tried the free nozzle that came with the skins. Far too big, good job my machine came with one, albeit shorter.
First things first: mix up the mince with some salt, pepper and sage, adding some water as a binding agent. I didn’t want to be too adventurous with herbs and spices on my virginal attempt.
Then the fun part, trying to find the hole in the skin and actually threading it onto the nozzle! That’s no mean feat when your fingers and the skin are both greasy. Eventually after much cursing and many dark thoughts of never trying this again, I managed to pop the end on. Then it was a case of getting the rest of the skin loaded on the nozzle ready for the hoped-for ejaculations of stuffing. In my youth of course there was the occasional hasty fumbling due to ardour but by God condoms were an awful lot easier than trying to coax pig’s intestines onto a nozzle. And I wasn’t anywhere near as excited.
Ok, ready to go. Plop a handful of the mixture into the hopper and start cranking. I watched, pleased, as the skin started to fill, only to realise all I was doing was turning it into a balloon made of animal product. I tried pushing the meat down by hand to no effect and anyway I didn’t fancy losing my fingers. I needed a tamper, but what to use? After experimenting with various kitchen implements I found the best I could - the plastic pepper jar I had just emptied into the mixture. Not ideal but with much coaxing it produced meat at the business end.
The easiest part was surprisingly regulating the rate at which the skin slid off so I was rather pleased with myself. Knotting the ends was problematic simply because of slippery everything but twisting them into recognisable sausages was astonishingly easy - see photos. Nestling in my fridge currently sit 17 bangers. No idea what they will taste like but after the sheer effort I put in I am praying they will cook well when I pluck up the courage to do so.
No idea if there are in fact any sausage makers out there but if there are I would be grateful if someone could tell me how long I can leave the unused skins in the bowl of water which they currently call home? I don’t want to waste them and will probably buy a shedload more mince later in the week, possibly setting half of Wednesday aside for manufacturing. If they taste ok then I reckon if I make a batch a week I might just have enough in the freezer to do a class Christmas party at mine.
Of course the natural result of my labours is that I have absolutely no desire to do any cooking whatsoever this evening and so I am consigned to my Sunday dinner consisting of cheese and biscuits. Now, I wonder if I can get the internet working so I can post this…..
Sausage making. Definitely NOT for the first-timer!
I can only blame myself for not carrying out research first. I opened a packet and my immediate thought was “what the hell did I buy?” for I was confronted by a tangled mess of what can only be described as looking like someone had ripped up an old shirt into tiny ribbons and then covered the jumble with rock salt. No way were these sausage casings. I threw the knotty mass away.
Then, I certainly should have done this first because I fully expected tubes that were ready for immediate use, and only then, did I do my homework on the internet. They are supposed to be soaked in water for twelve hours!
Luckily I bought three packets and they are cheap. Whilst I remain unconvinced that they will actually transform into something remotely like sausage skins, I shall soak them overnight and see what transpires in the morning. If they do, I reckon there’s about half a mile of the stuff and no way do I have anywhere near enough mince to fill them all.
I have a feeling this is either going to be a complete waste of time or a very steep learning curve. It would have helped if the packaging had instructions in English or even if I had asked one of the girls to translate the Chinese last night. Or I had checked first online. Idiot.
The mince will not be wasted, I can use it for anything such as Bolognese, lasagne, burgers or even skinless bangers but oh boy, I seem to have chosen something that’s even less straightforward than I had suspected!
Sunday 23rd 1630
Well the two girls had something else to occupy them today so they made their excuses regarding not coming this evening to sample my ham. Not a problem, it has only been curing for four days and can sit in the fridge a lot longer than that.
So this morning I showered and then sat at my laptop - well, in between having to get up and reboot the router in the living room with irksome regularity, the internet is now a complete joke - and trying to think of excuses as to why I shouldn’t take a stab at sausage making. After some time I realised I had no excuse, I had no intention of going to town, it was now or never.
Anyone who has ever done it will either know exactly what I am saying or label me a complete dolt but Jesus, what a bloody job!
The worms I had left soaking overnight were still the same size, except they were now extremely slippery. Armed with my manual mincer, I tried the free nozzle that came with the skins. Far too big, good job my machine came with one, albeit shorter.
First things first: mix up the mince with some salt, pepper and sage, adding some water as a binding agent. I didn’t want to be too adventurous with herbs and spices on my virginal attempt.
Then the fun part, trying to find the hole in the skin and actually threading it onto the nozzle! That’s no mean feat when your fingers and the skin are both greasy. Eventually after much cursing and many dark thoughts of never trying this again, I managed to pop the end on. Then it was a case of getting the rest of the skin loaded on the nozzle ready for the hoped-for ejaculations of stuffing. In my youth of course there was the occasional hasty fumbling due to ardour but by God condoms were an awful lot easier than trying to coax pig’s intestines onto a nozzle. And I wasn’t anywhere near as excited.
Ok, ready to go. Plop a handful of the mixture into the hopper and start cranking. I watched, pleased, as the skin started to fill, only to realise all I was doing was turning it into a balloon made of animal product. I tried pushing the meat down by hand to no effect and anyway I didn’t fancy losing my fingers. I needed a tamper, but what to use? After experimenting with various kitchen implements I found the best I could - the plastic pepper jar I had just emptied into the mixture. Not ideal but with much coaxing it produced meat at the business end.
The easiest part was surprisingly regulating the rate at which the skin slid off so I was rather pleased with myself. Knotting the ends was problematic simply because of slippery everything but twisting them into recognisable sausages was astonishingly easy - see photos. Nestling in my fridge currently sit 17 bangers. No idea what they will taste like but after the sheer effort I put in I am praying they will cook well when I pluck up the courage to do so.
No idea if there are in fact any sausage makers out there but if there are I would be grateful if someone could tell me how long I can leave the unused skins in the bowl of water which they currently call home? I don’t want to waste them and will probably buy a shedload more mince later in the week, possibly setting half of Wednesday aside for manufacturing. If they taste ok then I reckon if I make a batch a week I might just have enough in the freezer to do a class Christmas party at mine.
Of course the natural result of my labours is that I have absolutely no desire to do any cooking whatsoever this evening and so I am consigned to my Sunday dinner consisting of cheese and biscuits. Now, I wonder if I can get the internet working so I can post this…..
Saturday, 22 October 2016
Saturday 22nd October, 2016 1130
Well I had a result on Thursday, the water was only turned off from 1500 for about an hour. Typically it happened just when I wanted to wash up a lot of pans that I had just used to prepare part of the evening meal.
Yet more online shopping had arrived, meaning I had to take that home instead of hopping straight on the BRT which was slightly inconvenient, albeit self-inflicted. I had offered to cook for Suzy and Sheila (I shall miss them when they go to Cyprus, they are very helpful) and given them the choice between lasagne and tortillas. They opted for tortillas as wraps but they would be cold and a tad boring so I naturally decided to make chilli enchiladas, hence having dirtied a lot of kitchen things.
This bribe was so as to get them to do a bit of cleaning before eating, mostly dusting surfaces (God it’s dusty here!) and very importantly mopping the kitchen floor. They loved the enchiladas and the internet gods smiled on us because I never lost connection until a few minutes after they left so they got to watch The Children of Huang Shi, particularly relevant to them (aside from the obvious) because Lanzhou features in it.
Since Thursday the water supply has been uninterrupted so I am hoping that soon they will start filling in the trenches. I just wish the internet company would get its act together. Yesterday morning Brenda came bearing my passport at last and equally importantly, a hodge-podge of piping which she had got for my washing machine inlet. For starters it wasn’t going to connect to the machine, although I still had the original pipe which did. We now had a four-piece “snake” which I declared would not connect to the bathroom tap. Of course I am a world-renowned expert on plumbing and all things engineering. Brenda connected it.
It was terrific last night to throw my clothes in the machine, connect up, press the button to start and simply wait until the wash was finished. Not a bucket in sight!
Mid afternoon Suzy had texted me in class to ask if I was in school. I guessed my final shopping item had arrived and she wanted to give it to me - salad cream. For some reason I couldn’t respond, the text kept getting saved in the outbox. Miffed, I tried to call her but was told my account was overdue! Well it’s pay as you go so not really an account per se but considering the day before I had 37y credit I found it incredible that it had all disappeared! Disappeared it had though but Suzy was waiting outside my office when I finished class anyway. I explained to her the problems I had in trying to put money on the phone in four different shops previously and she suggested it was because I never had my ID with me. Well until that morning I hadn’t had any ID as my passport was away getting the permit. I said I would take it tomorrow (now today) and see if I could top up. It meant I would be unable to communicate with anyone last night but I was certain that nobody would need me to.
Except Harriett, whom Brenda had asked to take me to open a Bank of China account on Monday afternoon (passport with valid permit needed), sent me a message to say she would rather do it this morning, was it ok? Well yes, if only I could tell her! Aha! I sent a Skype message to Suzy to ask her to tell Harriett I was incommunicado and to call me. We arranged to meet at 0930 this morning.
Off we went to the bank, I had engineered it so as not to have to go shopping over the weekend but now I may as well get some bits seeing as I was going to be near BHG anyway. Harriett could also help me top up my phone.
Only she couldn’t in the shop either. It’s nothing to do with ID, instead out of province shops can’t do it unless they are a “main” branch. Marvellous. Harriett did it for me online using her phone.
In the bank (now this was the third visit to open an account, having been thwarted at two branches because my passport was away) the teller indicated there may be yet another problem to do with “sensitive politics”. What?? I have no stamps in the passport from countries China isn’t friendly with, I am not a member of a political party so what could possibly be “sensitive”?
My name.
I asked how the hell my name could prevent me opening an account? Which part of it was sensitive? Get this - the bank computer doesn’t like “Steven”!!!!! Don’t ask, I am as mystified as anyone. So now we need to go to another branch near the campus I teach at on Monday. Apparently my name will become acceptable there. ABC and CCB never had any problem giving me an account - the teller gave a stupid smile when I pointed this out - yet the biggest of them all does. Ho hum.
At least I did some shopping, this time buying a load of fatty minced pork, I am going to try my hand at making sausages. That is bound to end up with about two yards of lumpen, misshapen skin at best, meat all over the kitchen and me at worst. Fingers crossed!
Well I had a result on Thursday, the water was only turned off from 1500 for about an hour. Typically it happened just when I wanted to wash up a lot of pans that I had just used to prepare part of the evening meal.
Yet more online shopping had arrived, meaning I had to take that home instead of hopping straight on the BRT which was slightly inconvenient, albeit self-inflicted. I had offered to cook for Suzy and Sheila (I shall miss them when they go to Cyprus, they are very helpful) and given them the choice between lasagne and tortillas. They opted for tortillas as wraps but they would be cold and a tad boring so I naturally decided to make chilli enchiladas, hence having dirtied a lot of kitchen things.
This bribe was so as to get them to do a bit of cleaning before eating, mostly dusting surfaces (God it’s dusty here!) and very importantly mopping the kitchen floor. They loved the enchiladas and the internet gods smiled on us because I never lost connection until a few minutes after they left so they got to watch The Children of Huang Shi, particularly relevant to them (aside from the obvious) because Lanzhou features in it.
Since Thursday the water supply has been uninterrupted so I am hoping that soon they will start filling in the trenches. I just wish the internet company would get its act together. Yesterday morning Brenda came bearing my passport at last and equally importantly, a hodge-podge of piping which she had got for my washing machine inlet. For starters it wasn’t going to connect to the machine, although I still had the original pipe which did. We now had a four-piece “snake” which I declared would not connect to the bathroom tap. Of course I am a world-renowned expert on plumbing and all things engineering. Brenda connected it.
It was terrific last night to throw my clothes in the machine, connect up, press the button to start and simply wait until the wash was finished. Not a bucket in sight!
Mid afternoon Suzy had texted me in class to ask if I was in school. I guessed my final shopping item had arrived and she wanted to give it to me - salad cream. For some reason I couldn’t respond, the text kept getting saved in the outbox. Miffed, I tried to call her but was told my account was overdue! Well it’s pay as you go so not really an account per se but considering the day before I had 37y credit I found it incredible that it had all disappeared! Disappeared it had though but Suzy was waiting outside my office when I finished class anyway. I explained to her the problems I had in trying to put money on the phone in four different shops previously and she suggested it was because I never had my ID with me. Well until that morning I hadn’t had any ID as my passport was away getting the permit. I said I would take it tomorrow (now today) and see if I could top up. It meant I would be unable to communicate with anyone last night but I was certain that nobody would need me to.
Except Harriett, whom Brenda had asked to take me to open a Bank of China account on Monday afternoon (passport with valid permit needed), sent me a message to say she would rather do it this morning, was it ok? Well yes, if only I could tell her! Aha! I sent a Skype message to Suzy to ask her to tell Harriett I was incommunicado and to call me. We arranged to meet at 0930 this morning.
Off we went to the bank, I had engineered it so as not to have to go shopping over the weekend but now I may as well get some bits seeing as I was going to be near BHG anyway. Harriett could also help me top up my phone.
Only she couldn’t in the shop either. It’s nothing to do with ID, instead out of province shops can’t do it unless they are a “main” branch. Marvellous. Harriett did it for me online using her phone.
In the bank (now this was the third visit to open an account, having been thwarted at two branches because my passport was away) the teller indicated there may be yet another problem to do with “sensitive politics”. What?? I have no stamps in the passport from countries China isn’t friendly with, I am not a member of a political party so what could possibly be “sensitive”?
My name.
I asked how the hell my name could prevent me opening an account? Which part of it was sensitive? Get this - the bank computer doesn’t like “Steven”!!!!! Don’t ask, I am as mystified as anyone. So now we need to go to another branch near the campus I teach at on Monday. Apparently my name will become acceptable there. ABC and CCB never had any problem giving me an account - the teller gave a stupid smile when I pointed this out - yet the biggest of them all does. Ho hum.
At least I did some shopping, this time buying a load of fatty minced pork, I am going to try my hand at making sausages. That is bound to end up with about two yards of lumpen, misshapen skin at best, meat all over the kitchen and me at worst. Fingers crossed!
Wednesday, 19 October 2016
Wednesday 19th October, 2016 1700
Well Tuesday was fun!
I sat and waited for the water to be turned back on (they had shut it off overnight which was damned annoying seeing as they don’t work after about 1830 so there’s no need to) and just before noon I heard the welcome spluttering of water dropping into a bucket. Time to ablute.
Sat on the throne, brushed my teeth and then turned on the shower. The pressure wasn’t up to scratch and the water remained cold, so I went to the kitchen to see if there was a problem with the gas. Nope, I probably needed to turn the bathroom sink tap on as well to get a decent flow of water through the boiler. Back to the bathroom.
By now the water had stopped. Unbelievable.
No shower for me before work then, meaning a foul mood until the water came back in the evening perhaps? Except it didn’t. I had dirty pots as I hadn’t been able to wash them as well as not being able to clean myself. The roast pork was off the menu as I didn’t have a decent amount of clean water to boil the vegetables (that’s tonight’s dinner now), just enough to re-use the soiled small saucepan to boil some new potatoes. My evening repast was a gourmet plate of spuds and luncheon meat.
Just to improve my humour, halfway through the evening the internet went pop as well. This whole situation is really hacking me off now. I can’t plan anything by way of a meal unless it doesn’t require water and I can’t even be sure of at least having some entertainment to take my mind off it. I can’t wait for them to finish the piping.
Stone me if the internet didn’t come back online at around midnight! Now there’s no way there was anyone in the university’s IT room at that time of night so it had to have been the service provider. I honestly thought that by moving to a provincial capital I had left power, water and internet cuts behind out in the sticks of Chizhou but clearly not.
I wanted to go shopping reasonably early this morning, with a day off I harboured ideas of inviting Suzy and Sheila to share my roast pork. However, I wasn’t going out after not showering for two days. If they were going to turn the water on when they went for lunch then I was going to be under that shower in a flash before it went off again!
Sure enough, it came on and I became Usain Budd. The toilet hadn’t been a problem as I had shepherded the water I still had in one of the buckets so I was able to jump under the shower and get gloriously clean. I even had a wet shave in there, by now I was growing a white beard that looked positively trampish.
Still in my bathrobe, I went to the kitchen and filled the sink with hot water, replenished the buckets and washed all the dishes. The water even stayed on long enough to be able to pre-fill saucepans and a plastic bottle for cooking tonight.
By one o’clock we were dry again but at least I knew my dinner was safe and I felt fresh. What’s the betting I won’t be able to shower before I leave in the morning? And a pound to a pinch that by the time the bus gets me home again I will have missed the lunchtime water bonanza. My only hope is that just maybe they will have completed the actual pipework by then but I don’t hold out much hope, they don’t appear to be particularly industrious workmen.
Anyway, I did get to the supermarket. I bought a large lump of pig to turn into ham, loads of my online shopping arrived yesterday when the girls brought it to class - including the all-important pickling spice. I shall have ham by Sunday should I so wish.
I have no idea why but when I went to the bus station there were hundreds of school kids arriving in a steady throng. I must time my trips to avoid lunchtimes in future because it did nothing for my temper. They just barged past, pushed in and generally instilled in me a rather homicidal demeanour. Some of the local schools were very nearly a pupil or two short this afternoon. What made it worse though was that all the buses that pulled up were already full to the gunwales with small people attired in school uniform jackets. I stood for forty minutes as bus after bus after bus came and went, departing with even more air squeezed out of them as the ants squashed in as tight as a Scotsman’s wallet. Apologies to any Scots reading, I know you’re not stingy, you just spend all your money in the pub the night you get paid! I shall now go into hiding.
Eventually a bus came along bereft of kids and I even nearly bagged a seat. I was beaten to it by someone who could have been a uni student. They really don’t give up their seats here unless you are heavily pregnant (I could pass for that with a wig) or so old as to be about to croak it.
It is amazing that my life now revolves around shopping trips and planning my meals. Because of my limited cargo-carrying capability I have to go every chance I have and with work days alternately finishing at lunchtime or in the evening I have to schedule proper cooking one day and quick nosh the next. If I had the money I would buy another chest freezer, that was so handy for batch cooking. Of course life would be so much easier (and cheaper) if I simply integrated in a culinary way and ate noodles every night.
Looking on the bright side, being unable to take a shower every day means I probably won’t need to pay for a gas top-up before next payday. I spent a fortune on Taobao buying food so I may struggle, my UK debit card still hasn’t turned up.
Well Tuesday was fun!
I sat and waited for the water to be turned back on (they had shut it off overnight which was damned annoying seeing as they don’t work after about 1830 so there’s no need to) and just before noon I heard the welcome spluttering of water dropping into a bucket. Time to ablute.
Sat on the throne, brushed my teeth and then turned on the shower. The pressure wasn’t up to scratch and the water remained cold, so I went to the kitchen to see if there was a problem with the gas. Nope, I probably needed to turn the bathroom sink tap on as well to get a decent flow of water through the boiler. Back to the bathroom.
By now the water had stopped. Unbelievable.
No shower for me before work then, meaning a foul mood until the water came back in the evening perhaps? Except it didn’t. I had dirty pots as I hadn’t been able to wash them as well as not being able to clean myself. The roast pork was off the menu as I didn’t have a decent amount of clean water to boil the vegetables (that’s tonight’s dinner now), just enough to re-use the soiled small saucepan to boil some new potatoes. My evening repast was a gourmet plate of spuds and luncheon meat.
Just to improve my humour, halfway through the evening the internet went pop as well. This whole situation is really hacking me off now. I can’t plan anything by way of a meal unless it doesn’t require water and I can’t even be sure of at least having some entertainment to take my mind off it. I can’t wait for them to finish the piping.
Stone me if the internet didn’t come back online at around midnight! Now there’s no way there was anyone in the university’s IT room at that time of night so it had to have been the service provider. I honestly thought that by moving to a provincial capital I had left power, water and internet cuts behind out in the sticks of Chizhou but clearly not.
I wanted to go shopping reasonably early this morning, with a day off I harboured ideas of inviting Suzy and Sheila to share my roast pork. However, I wasn’t going out after not showering for two days. If they were going to turn the water on when they went for lunch then I was going to be under that shower in a flash before it went off again!
Sure enough, it came on and I became Usain Budd. The toilet hadn’t been a problem as I had shepherded the water I still had in one of the buckets so I was able to jump under the shower and get gloriously clean. I even had a wet shave in there, by now I was growing a white beard that looked positively trampish.
Still in my bathrobe, I went to the kitchen and filled the sink with hot water, replenished the buckets and washed all the dishes. The water even stayed on long enough to be able to pre-fill saucepans and a plastic bottle for cooking tonight.
By one o’clock we were dry again but at least I knew my dinner was safe and I felt fresh. What’s the betting I won’t be able to shower before I leave in the morning? And a pound to a pinch that by the time the bus gets me home again I will have missed the lunchtime water bonanza. My only hope is that just maybe they will have completed the actual pipework by then but I don’t hold out much hope, they don’t appear to be particularly industrious workmen.
Anyway, I did get to the supermarket. I bought a large lump of pig to turn into ham, loads of my online shopping arrived yesterday when the girls brought it to class - including the all-important pickling spice. I shall have ham by Sunday should I so wish.
I have no idea why but when I went to the bus station there were hundreds of school kids arriving in a steady throng. I must time my trips to avoid lunchtimes in future because it did nothing for my temper. They just barged past, pushed in and generally instilled in me a rather homicidal demeanour. Some of the local schools were very nearly a pupil or two short this afternoon. What made it worse though was that all the buses that pulled up were already full to the gunwales with small people attired in school uniform jackets. I stood for forty minutes as bus after bus after bus came and went, departing with even more air squeezed out of them as the ants squashed in as tight as a Scotsman’s wallet. Apologies to any Scots reading, I know you’re not stingy, you just spend all your money in the pub the night you get paid! I shall now go into hiding.
Eventually a bus came along bereft of kids and I even nearly bagged a seat. I was beaten to it by someone who could have been a uni student. They really don’t give up their seats here unless you are heavily pregnant (I could pass for that with a wig) or so old as to be about to croak it.
It is amazing that my life now revolves around shopping trips and planning my meals. Because of my limited cargo-carrying capability I have to go every chance I have and with work days alternately finishing at lunchtime or in the evening I have to schedule proper cooking one day and quick nosh the next. If I had the money I would buy another chest freezer, that was so handy for batch cooking. Of course life would be so much easier (and cheaper) if I simply integrated in a culinary way and ate noodles every night.
Looking on the bright side, being unable to take a shower every day means I probably won’t need to pay for a gas top-up before next payday. I spent a fortune on Taobao buying food so I may struggle, my UK debit card still hasn’t turned up.
Monday, 17 October 2016
Monday 17th October, 2016 1845
Nothing quite like the internet going pop and you have 90 minutes of stored BBC programmes to watch with six hours of the evening left I could have read a book last night I suppose but the mood wasn’t upon me so I watched Master and Commander yet again.
Of course, that kept me up far longer than was good for me, resulting in just five hours sleep. I knew all about it this morning when the alarm went off. I cut it a bit fine when leaving, a mere ten minutes before the bus time, and I had walked fifty yards when I suddenly remembered the bread pudding. Bugger it, the damned bus has only ever been on time once, I took a chance.
Even so I still had a fifteen minute wait, during which time my core body temperature dropped. I was wearing my “lucky” jacket, having decided against donning one of my two more wintry ones on the basis that by the time I left school at noon the temperature was forecast to be 21C. Which of course it was, so on the return trip I even had to take the lightweight one off.
The class was back to normal after last weeks meal, they had nothing by way of a topic and of course I was scratching around in my brain seeing as I had been unable to access any news sites, as is my wont before leaving for school.
Throughout the lessons Suzy kept having to absent herself as various of my Taobao orders arrived. Unlike Chizhou where online shopping arrived at a communal point where the different firms had areas manned by students and you could collect any time during opening hours, here from what I can gather the small e-carts turn up at the school gate for a short while and it’s “grab it while you can”. Well I could hardly prevent her from getting my own shopping now could I??
My cheese even turned up about five minutes before the return bus was leaving. I was having a smoke waiting with her, Sheila and David when suddenly Suzy disappeared. No sooner had she returned than the white cat I chatted to last week turned up, looking considerably less ill than before. Being in good humour I treated the cat to a piece of cheddar and also invited David (who had told me the Chinese don’t eat cheese) to try some. I think it took all his willpower not to retch as he swallowed it.
So I had two bloody heavy bags to take home, 5kgs of new potatoes having arrived with canned goods, a kilo of cheese and some sauces. No way could I simply get off the school bus and take the BRT to the supermarket, I had to go home first. I didn’t feel like going shopping but I had no choice, I was out of wine, cigars and more or less, food. As I don’t get back until 1800 on Tuesdays at the very least I needed food so I wasn’t forced to have noodles yet again tomorrow.
So I wandered slowly down to the overbridge. As I neared it a woman on a bicycle (I am having cause to resent pedallers just lately) came hurtling towards me and a boy walking in the opposite direction. She starting tinkling her handlebar bell furiously for us both to get out of the way. The boy of course never saw nor heard, being engrossed in whatever his earphones were belting into his membranes but I bristled as she aimed for the space between us.
I hate anyone on a form of transport who is using a pavement intended for pedestrians who sounds a warning for those on foot to get out of their way. I maintained course and speed and so did she. Her left handlebar caught my left forearm. There was no pain involved and so I carried on as if nothing had happened. Then I rotated 170 degrees to ascend the stairs to the bridge. The woman (complete with those doctors masks they wear) was off her bike (presumably it was that or fall off it) and giving me daggers. I was a pedestrian on a pavement, she a cyclist with a road a couple of yards away. I was hardly going to apologise. She received the benefit of my best death stare and shaking head.
When I returned with yet more heavy bags of shopping, I found that I wasn’t losing my mind after all. The barbers I thought was there but wasn’t? It was there again. Must have closed for a few days just when I wanted them. What a relief to be robbed of all bar 5mm of my headfur. Double the price I would have paid in Chizhou but it felt good.
On my return the internet worked once again, yet again the workmen kept knocking on my door to come in and fiddle with central heating pipes and such and I settled down to marking playing cards - about 140 of them - with letters for tomorrow’s activity, Countdown.
Nothing quite like the internet going pop and you have 90 minutes of stored BBC programmes to watch with six hours of the evening left I could have read a book last night I suppose but the mood wasn’t upon me so I watched Master and Commander yet again.
Of course, that kept me up far longer than was good for me, resulting in just five hours sleep. I knew all about it this morning when the alarm went off. I cut it a bit fine when leaving, a mere ten minutes before the bus time, and I had walked fifty yards when I suddenly remembered the bread pudding. Bugger it, the damned bus has only ever been on time once, I took a chance.
Even so I still had a fifteen minute wait, during which time my core body temperature dropped. I was wearing my “lucky” jacket, having decided against donning one of my two more wintry ones on the basis that by the time I left school at noon the temperature was forecast to be 21C. Which of course it was, so on the return trip I even had to take the lightweight one off.
The class was back to normal after last weeks meal, they had nothing by way of a topic and of course I was scratching around in my brain seeing as I had been unable to access any news sites, as is my wont before leaving for school.
Throughout the lessons Suzy kept having to absent herself as various of my Taobao orders arrived. Unlike Chizhou where online shopping arrived at a communal point where the different firms had areas manned by students and you could collect any time during opening hours, here from what I can gather the small e-carts turn up at the school gate for a short while and it’s “grab it while you can”. Well I could hardly prevent her from getting my own shopping now could I??
My cheese even turned up about five minutes before the return bus was leaving. I was having a smoke waiting with her, Sheila and David when suddenly Suzy disappeared. No sooner had she returned than the white cat I chatted to last week turned up, looking considerably less ill than before. Being in good humour I treated the cat to a piece of cheddar and also invited David (who had told me the Chinese don’t eat cheese) to try some. I think it took all his willpower not to retch as he swallowed it.
So I had two bloody heavy bags to take home, 5kgs of new potatoes having arrived with canned goods, a kilo of cheese and some sauces. No way could I simply get off the school bus and take the BRT to the supermarket, I had to go home first. I didn’t feel like going shopping but I had no choice, I was out of wine, cigars and more or less, food. As I don’t get back until 1800 on Tuesdays at the very least I needed food so I wasn’t forced to have noodles yet again tomorrow.
So I wandered slowly down to the overbridge. As I neared it a woman on a bicycle (I am having cause to resent pedallers just lately) came hurtling towards me and a boy walking in the opposite direction. She starting tinkling her handlebar bell furiously for us both to get out of the way. The boy of course never saw nor heard, being engrossed in whatever his earphones were belting into his membranes but I bristled as she aimed for the space between us.
I hate anyone on a form of transport who is using a pavement intended for pedestrians who sounds a warning for those on foot to get out of their way. I maintained course and speed and so did she. Her left handlebar caught my left forearm. There was no pain involved and so I carried on as if nothing had happened. Then I rotated 170 degrees to ascend the stairs to the bridge. The woman (complete with those doctors masks they wear) was off her bike (presumably it was that or fall off it) and giving me daggers. I was a pedestrian on a pavement, she a cyclist with a road a couple of yards away. I was hardly going to apologise. She received the benefit of my best death stare and shaking head.
When I returned with yet more heavy bags of shopping, I found that I wasn’t losing my mind after all. The barbers I thought was there but wasn’t? It was there again. Must have closed for a few days just when I wanted them. What a relief to be robbed of all bar 5mm of my headfur. Double the price I would have paid in Chizhou but it felt good.
On my return the internet worked once again, yet again the workmen kept knocking on my door to come in and fiddle with central heating pipes and such and I settled down to marking playing cards - about 140 of them - with letters for tomorrow’s activity, Countdown.
Sunday, 16 October 2016
Sunday 16th October, 2016 1530
I can’t believe I forgot to include this the other night.
The route to the pizza lunch my class treated me to entailed a relatively lengthy bus ride of about 20 minutes to a position close to Wanda Plaza. I’m not sure where we went eventually and I don’t think it was Wanda but hell, it WAS a big Mall. One of those where you need a gold or platinum card if you actually want to shop instead of eat or go to the cinema.
Anyway, we had to cross the road to get to it. A three lane one way circular road. I have a habit of watching the traffic lights rather than the pedestrian green or red man. If the traffic has red then it stands to reason the walkers get a green. I also, even when the street is one way, tend to look both ways just in case, especially in China.
I do realise having an e-bike is dangerous, three accidents in six years, two of which drew blood, two broke bones and one which could so easily have been the end of me. Surely walking is by far the safest option?
Well a quick glance at the lights as they turned red, another in the wrong direction just to be sure and yet another at the pelican green man. I strode out confidently ahead of all my students, who were either busy chattering to each other or had only just become aware we had the right to cross.
“Ey! Ey! Ey!” was all I heard from the woman on a pedal cycle before she smacked into me. Going the wrong way up a one way and way too small for my swift check to have spotted. Now of course I outweighed both bike and rider combined but as I have aged, so my balance as gone. She either didn’t have any brakes (common here) or Him up top was looking out for me (babies and drunks and all that, and I confess to having started on the jing jo on the bus) because I felt no pain and remained upright. In fact, seeing as this occurred in front of students who I have previously admonished when they treat me like a child crossing a road by loftily informing them that I have crossed roads for 60 years in 47 different countries, it merely made me want to rip the cyclist’s head off.
I satisfied myself with a mere “Wrong side of the road!” and carried on crossing. Well you have to don’t you? I’m an OC, I was a ruffy-tuffy sailor and even if I were hurt (which I wasn’t) I was damned if I was going to let on in front of my students!
So folks, don’t walk - its just as dangerous!
Just to cheer me up last night an old student now in her 3rd year in Chizhou texted me this (sic)
“we all kown you want to stay and talk.with us, but we can't.so ,we will always remember what happiness you brought”
Highly effective method for producing melancholy on a Saturday night! Last year she ran the Lingdian Society. I must have been a Godsend to her because there were many occasions when Richard or Juliette or both couldn’t go to their functions. Amazingly I managed to attend them all and as the leaders of the society only come from sophomores, she now being a junior no longer has to worry about it.
I’ve been busy today. Two loads of washing (still not merely a case of throwing gear in and forgetting about it until it’s finished, although Brenda is supposed to be coming one day this week hopefully with pipes) and as I type, a rather large tray of bread pudding rising nicely in the oven for tomorrow‘s class.
Dinner tonight? Well that’s where I came over all lazy. I decided I didn’t have the impetus to bother chopping mushrooms, tomatoes etc to put in my omelette so I am making one I haven’t before - just egg and cheese. With cheddar on the way from Taobao I thought I’d use some of the ready grated mozzarella. It should be ok with peas and chips?
I can’t believe I forgot to include this the other night.
The route to the pizza lunch my class treated me to entailed a relatively lengthy bus ride of about 20 minutes to a position close to Wanda Plaza. I’m not sure where we went eventually and I don’t think it was Wanda but hell, it WAS a big Mall. One of those where you need a gold or platinum card if you actually want to shop instead of eat or go to the cinema.
Anyway, we had to cross the road to get to it. A three lane one way circular road. I have a habit of watching the traffic lights rather than the pedestrian green or red man. If the traffic has red then it stands to reason the walkers get a green. I also, even when the street is one way, tend to look both ways just in case, especially in China.
I do realise having an e-bike is dangerous, three accidents in six years, two of which drew blood, two broke bones and one which could so easily have been the end of me. Surely walking is by far the safest option?
Well a quick glance at the lights as they turned red, another in the wrong direction just to be sure and yet another at the pelican green man. I strode out confidently ahead of all my students, who were either busy chattering to each other or had only just become aware we had the right to cross.
“Ey! Ey! Ey!” was all I heard from the woman on a pedal cycle before she smacked into me. Going the wrong way up a one way and way too small for my swift check to have spotted. Now of course I outweighed both bike and rider combined but as I have aged, so my balance as gone. She either didn’t have any brakes (common here) or Him up top was looking out for me (babies and drunks and all that, and I confess to having started on the jing jo on the bus) because I felt no pain and remained upright. In fact, seeing as this occurred in front of students who I have previously admonished when they treat me like a child crossing a road by loftily informing them that I have crossed roads for 60 years in 47 different countries, it merely made me want to rip the cyclist’s head off.
I satisfied myself with a mere “Wrong side of the road!” and carried on crossing. Well you have to don’t you? I’m an OC, I was a ruffy-tuffy sailor and even if I were hurt (which I wasn’t) I was damned if I was going to let on in front of my students!
So folks, don’t walk - its just as dangerous!
Just to cheer me up last night an old student now in her 3rd year in Chizhou texted me this (sic)
“we all kown you want to stay and talk.with us, but we can't.so ,we will always remember what happiness you brought”
Highly effective method for producing melancholy on a Saturday night! Last year she ran the Lingdian Society. I must have been a Godsend to her because there were many occasions when Richard or Juliette or both couldn’t go to their functions. Amazingly I managed to attend them all and as the leaders of the society only come from sophomores, she now being a junior no longer has to worry about it.
I’ve been busy today. Two loads of washing (still not merely a case of throwing gear in and forgetting about it until it’s finished, although Brenda is supposed to be coming one day this week hopefully with pipes) and as I type, a rather large tray of bread pudding rising nicely in the oven for tomorrow‘s class.
Dinner tonight? Well that’s where I came over all lazy. I decided I didn’t have the impetus to bother chopping mushrooms, tomatoes etc to put in my omelette so I am making one I haven’t before - just egg and cheese. With cheddar on the way from Taobao I thought I’d use some of the ready grated mozzarella. It should be ok with peas and chips?
Saturday, 15 October 2016
Saturday 15th October, 2016 1515
I think we can all accept the occasional power/water cuts for whatever reason. It’s part of life. There are times though when they start to really rankle. Chizhou was terrible for them - if it wasn’t a morning to evening planned outage for maintenance work (and they had those with annoying regularity, so much so I used to rant and ask why they couldn’t fix the damned system once and for all), then it was a campus substation going up in smoke or a rain/thunderstorm would knock it out. At least we were warned about the planned ones so we could make arrangements to spend the day in town or whatever.
Yesterday here I had no water all day. Oh I waited, waited with the bathroom tap turned on and a bucket underneath so the moment the water came on I would know. I would have showered at midnight if that was when it came back. But no, at two I surrendered and went to bed, hoping when I got up all would be normal once more.
It wasn’t. Brenda hadn’t answered my text last night and after half an hour she hadn’t answered the one I sent this morning either, asking whether I should go to an hotel because I wasn’t spending the entire weekend unwashed and unkempt, unable to wash dishes or cook. I thought ten o’clock was a reasonable time to ring her but nonetheless roused her from sleep. Well sorry! By now I had no wine left, I was down to my last cigar and I really wasn’t going out shopping looking like a homeless vagrant.
She made a call and rang me back. It’s only my building that is affected and they needed to do it because of the heating pipe replacements. Yes, I understand that but they went home at six last night and why didn’t they warn us first? I could have filled a couple of buckets so that at least I could have flushed the toilet. She had asked that but the only reply they gave was that they turned it back on at five last evening. Maybe to everyone else but not for me!
Did you go out? Yes for five minutes to the nearest shop but the tap was on and the bucket in place. They are lying. Are you sure? I checked all the taps at regular intervals until 0200 and even if it was only on for five minutes then surely my toilet cistern would have filled up? Lying simply serves to get my goat even more, admit you cocked up and my piqueometer settles back down from 8: boiling to 3: warm.
Just before noon I heard the joyous sound of water hitting the bottom of a bucket. A shower rarely felt so good and once I was clean and fresh and in case they turned it off again, I washed all the dishes and pots and filled some pans with water so I was guaranteed being able to cook dinner. The water is still on and I have a sneaky feeling I was the only one left dry last night.
My annoyance of course was exacerbated by the fact I was prevented from shopping yesterday. I had planned to buy plenty so as not to have to make the trip over the weekend. I hate the BRT at the weekend because I have to let anything up to ten buses pass by before one happens along where I can even get a decent amount of standing room, leave alone a seat.
Go to town though, I had to. The little shop that promised to have cigars today let me down and anyway the wine in BHG is 14.5y as opposed to 40y nearer home. I also needed bread and sultanas to make the bread pudding tomorrow. I also thought I would explore the back streets to see if at last I could get a haircut.
I wandered and wandered but only discovered a labyrinth of bars and clubs (worth knowing because they seemed to stock western drinks - for a price) but no barbers. With no e-bike I am severely limited as to what I can buy in one go (two wines and a litre of milk are heavy enough on their own so when you start to add spuds and the like……) given that there are loads of stairs to negotiate at the bus stops and I am not sure I will ever be able to leap them in bounds, my right hip has felt for some years now that it will eventually rebel against me. But I am NOT making that trip tomorrow!
It is roast pork tonight and omelette and chips tomorrow - I bought 20 eggs on offer for 17.8y. Come to think of it, I have that many I may need to start baking cakes in the bread machine, might have more success than I have had of late with bread!
Oh, and Ollivier is trying to become a Gendarme - God help France!
I think we can all accept the occasional power/water cuts for whatever reason. It’s part of life. There are times though when they start to really rankle. Chizhou was terrible for them - if it wasn’t a morning to evening planned outage for maintenance work (and they had those with annoying regularity, so much so I used to rant and ask why they couldn’t fix the damned system once and for all), then it was a campus substation going up in smoke or a rain/thunderstorm would knock it out. At least we were warned about the planned ones so we could make arrangements to spend the day in town or whatever.
Yesterday here I had no water all day. Oh I waited, waited with the bathroom tap turned on and a bucket underneath so the moment the water came on I would know. I would have showered at midnight if that was when it came back. But no, at two I surrendered and went to bed, hoping when I got up all would be normal once more.
It wasn’t. Brenda hadn’t answered my text last night and after half an hour she hadn’t answered the one I sent this morning either, asking whether I should go to an hotel because I wasn’t spending the entire weekend unwashed and unkempt, unable to wash dishes or cook. I thought ten o’clock was a reasonable time to ring her but nonetheless roused her from sleep. Well sorry! By now I had no wine left, I was down to my last cigar and I really wasn’t going out shopping looking like a homeless vagrant.
She made a call and rang me back. It’s only my building that is affected and they needed to do it because of the heating pipe replacements. Yes, I understand that but they went home at six last night and why didn’t they warn us first? I could have filled a couple of buckets so that at least I could have flushed the toilet. She had asked that but the only reply they gave was that they turned it back on at five last evening. Maybe to everyone else but not for me!
Did you go out? Yes for five minutes to the nearest shop but the tap was on and the bucket in place. They are lying. Are you sure? I checked all the taps at regular intervals until 0200 and even if it was only on for five minutes then surely my toilet cistern would have filled up? Lying simply serves to get my goat even more, admit you cocked up and my piqueometer settles back down from 8: boiling to 3: warm.
Just before noon I heard the joyous sound of water hitting the bottom of a bucket. A shower rarely felt so good and once I was clean and fresh and in case they turned it off again, I washed all the dishes and pots and filled some pans with water so I was guaranteed being able to cook dinner. The water is still on and I have a sneaky feeling I was the only one left dry last night.
My annoyance of course was exacerbated by the fact I was prevented from shopping yesterday. I had planned to buy plenty so as not to have to make the trip over the weekend. I hate the BRT at the weekend because I have to let anything up to ten buses pass by before one happens along where I can even get a decent amount of standing room, leave alone a seat.
Go to town though, I had to. The little shop that promised to have cigars today let me down and anyway the wine in BHG is 14.5y as opposed to 40y nearer home. I also needed bread and sultanas to make the bread pudding tomorrow. I also thought I would explore the back streets to see if at last I could get a haircut.
I wandered and wandered but only discovered a labyrinth of bars and clubs (worth knowing because they seemed to stock western drinks - for a price) but no barbers. With no e-bike I am severely limited as to what I can buy in one go (two wines and a litre of milk are heavy enough on their own so when you start to add spuds and the like……) given that there are loads of stairs to negotiate at the bus stops and I am not sure I will ever be able to leap them in bounds, my right hip has felt for some years now that it will eventually rebel against me. But I am NOT making that trip tomorrow!
It is roast pork tonight and omelette and chips tomorrow - I bought 20 eggs on offer for 17.8y. Come to think of it, I have that many I may need to start baking cakes in the bread machine, might have more success than I have had of late with bread!
Oh, and Ollivier is trying to become a Gendarme - God help France!
Friday, 14 October 2016
Friday 14th October, 2016 0100
Last night I had a phone call from a student of mine who graduated I think three years ago. They had a problem of a romantic nature and for some reason chose to unload on me.
I shall not identify whether the person involved is male or female, it is immaterial or even whether they will read this or not.
I will simply say that I was humbled because I was the only person they felt they could talk to in order to open up and the only one they could trust not to tell anyone. For the first time in more than six years I felt perhaps I really do make a difference and even more so, for the first time I actually felt that I might in fact be a teacher. I have never felt like a teacher before so my thanks go to that special person who should follow their instincts. The good things will follow on later.
1540
Sometime last night Janet called again from the hospital to say how happy she was that I had gone to the lunch. She too now also understands that in future if the school perceives a problem with either me or my work then it would be nice if the school spoke to me to get my side or opinion before passing judgment.
Gratifyingly (I think some of them must have visited her in the evening) she commented that she did notice an improvement in their English and that I must be doing something right.
The good times don’t last long, do they?
I am sitting here in my bathrobe. Why? Because when I went to take a shower four hours ago there was no water. No notice given, I assume it’s something to do with the central heating pipe replacement or the roadworks but that doesn’t help me. Even if it comes on this instant I shan’t go shopping, the buses will be mobbed by the time I am ready to let the world see me.
I daren’t go out because I haven’t washed my hair. Taken as a stand-alone statement that may look to some as if I am like a vain girl but nothing could be further from the truth. My hair is, and always has been, the sort that unless it is washed each morning makes me look as if I have been plugged into a 440v socket. That is 95% of why I keep it short so it isn’t long enough to be able to go in any direction it chooses. The other 5% is attributable to the fact that here - as today - there are often water stoppages. If it doesn’t return by seven it will be dark so I will step out to the shop around the corner for some ale and jing jo but BHG will wait until tomorrow. I WAS going to see if there was a barbers in that neck of the woods, near where I bought the shoes.
Naturally the roast pork dinner I had planned is off, I have next to no food in (not a lot of point when I am still waiting for online ingredients) and no bread. I tried the high gluten flour and still produced a boulder. It’s driving me mad now and I can only think the yeast packet I am using is “dead” (in which case opening a new one will prove it either way) or I am not using enough water. I will succeed, I just don’t know when and how many attempts it will take. Oh to be able to simply buy a loaf of Tesco Value bread at will! Or be a competent baker myself……..
With scant options in stock and not wanting to go out looking like Wurzel Gummidge for a noodle dinner, I found the most incredibly simple solution online. I have pasta and eggs, you cook the pasta, stick it in butter and then scramble eggs with it. Better still, I have half an onion and some plastic ham so I may just have found the easiest meal possible for future use - and of course I have my Linghams chilli sauce to pep it up. The no water problem is not an issue as my predecessor left a couple of large bottles of purified water, more than ample to boil a handful of conchiglie.
One thing I learnt yesterday and which surprised me was that despite suffering bitterly cold winters, it possibly snows a mere once or twice each winter here. And there’s me with two sets of overshoe attachments for walking on ice that I bought and never got to use in Harbin in the spring festival.
Speaking of Harbin, seeing as (I thought!) I was closer it might be a possibility to see the ice festival from here. But no, this place really IS nowhere. Flights are 2,300y one way and a two train journey takes about 40 hours. Sod that.
Last night I had a phone call from a student of mine who graduated I think three years ago. They had a problem of a romantic nature and for some reason chose to unload on me.
I shall not identify whether the person involved is male or female, it is immaterial or even whether they will read this or not.
I will simply say that I was humbled because I was the only person they felt they could talk to in order to open up and the only one they could trust not to tell anyone. For the first time in more than six years I felt perhaps I really do make a difference and even more so, for the first time I actually felt that I might in fact be a teacher. I have never felt like a teacher before so my thanks go to that special person who should follow their instincts. The good things will follow on later.
1540
Sometime last night Janet called again from the hospital to say how happy she was that I had gone to the lunch. She too now also understands that in future if the school perceives a problem with either me or my work then it would be nice if the school spoke to me to get my side or opinion before passing judgment.
Gratifyingly (I think some of them must have visited her in the evening) she commented that she did notice an improvement in their English and that I must be doing something right.
The good times don’t last long, do they?
I am sitting here in my bathrobe. Why? Because when I went to take a shower four hours ago there was no water. No notice given, I assume it’s something to do with the central heating pipe replacement or the roadworks but that doesn’t help me. Even if it comes on this instant I shan’t go shopping, the buses will be mobbed by the time I am ready to let the world see me.
I daren’t go out because I haven’t washed my hair. Taken as a stand-alone statement that may look to some as if I am like a vain girl but nothing could be further from the truth. My hair is, and always has been, the sort that unless it is washed each morning makes me look as if I have been plugged into a 440v socket. That is 95% of why I keep it short so it isn’t long enough to be able to go in any direction it chooses. The other 5% is attributable to the fact that here - as today - there are often water stoppages. If it doesn’t return by seven it will be dark so I will step out to the shop around the corner for some ale and jing jo but BHG will wait until tomorrow. I WAS going to see if there was a barbers in that neck of the woods, near where I bought the shoes.
Naturally the roast pork dinner I had planned is off, I have next to no food in (not a lot of point when I am still waiting for online ingredients) and no bread. I tried the high gluten flour and still produced a boulder. It’s driving me mad now and I can only think the yeast packet I am using is “dead” (in which case opening a new one will prove it either way) or I am not using enough water. I will succeed, I just don’t know when and how many attempts it will take. Oh to be able to simply buy a loaf of Tesco Value bread at will! Or be a competent baker myself……..
With scant options in stock and not wanting to go out looking like Wurzel Gummidge for a noodle dinner, I found the most incredibly simple solution online. I have pasta and eggs, you cook the pasta, stick it in butter and then scramble eggs with it. Better still, I have half an onion and some plastic ham so I may just have found the easiest meal possible for future use - and of course I have my Linghams chilli sauce to pep it up. The no water problem is not an issue as my predecessor left a couple of large bottles of purified water, more than ample to boil a handful of conchiglie.
One thing I learnt yesterday and which surprised me was that despite suffering bitterly cold winters, it possibly snows a mere once or twice each winter here. And there’s me with two sets of overshoe attachments for walking on ice that I bought and never got to use in Harbin in the spring festival.
Speaking of Harbin, seeing as (I thought!) I was closer it might be a possibility to see the ice festival from here. But no, this place really IS nowhere. Flights are 2,300y one way and a two train journey takes about 40 hours. Sod that.
Thursday, 13 October 2016
Thursday 13th October, 2016 1620
Yesterday’s day off was quite busy. A run to the supermarket and before that a search for new shoes. I ended up paying more than I wanted for footwear but at least I got some - the trainers I have worn for the last year are getting decidedly thin on the bottom, which means I can feel every stone I tread on - a lot what with all the roadworks near my home.
When I got home I rested for half an hour and then decided it was haircut time. I recalled seeing a barbers close to the BRT stop and my barnet is much longer than I like to keep it - seriously getting into combing territory. I also decided to give the new shoes an outing, I had opted for shoes rather than trainers this time seeing as winter is not far off. Well either I am going bonkers and there never was a barbers or it has closed down recently! Now, I have electric clippers I brought with me from England but in Chizhou it wasn’t worth the hassle of cutting my own hair seeing as it only cost 10y for a shearing. I will have a crack at it at the weekend. The only problem is that I don’t think I have the adapters to regulate length and I have an awful feeling that if I use it “neat” I’m going to end up with bald patches! And if I do, no you won’t get a photo.
With no barbers in sight I nearly came home but then I remembered from when I first arrived there is an appliance shop near the BRT. At least I could buy a heater. By this time (and I had walked all of a kilometre) my feet were killing me - or rather the shoes were killing my feet. Again I spent more than I wanted to but at least I now have a heater.
By the time I limped home my heels were red raw. It will probably be a week before I dare put the shoes on again and when I do it will be just to potter around the flat for a while. I hope I can break them in before winter does arrive!
In the evening Janet finally replied to my email, sent in response to the latest teaching development. She is still in the traditional Chinese medicine hospital next door to where I teach and I now know she has a bad back. I can only think she is receiving acupuncture. She was sorry she had said what she had and wished she had kept quiet. Would I please go to the lunch with the students because they think you are the best?
Well with the sheer angst all this had caused me (and it certainly had), no way I was letting anyone off the hook that quickly - if I was to come out on top they could all stew a while, just as I had. I settled down in my office with my new heater and sat attired in just boxers and shirt. Much more comfortable than fully togged up and with a fleece to boot. In fact I even took it to the bedroom when I went to sleep and left it on low all night.
When I had arrived home for the last time yesterday evening my electricity meter read 56 left out of the 93 I had when we topped up a fortnight ago. When I left to get the bus this morning I was horrified to see I was now on a mere 36! That was about 80y just in one night! What with the top-up office only opening on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I needed more credit or I was going to be in darkness come next Tuesday!
On the bus to school David sat behind me. He reminds me so much of Norman who was my student in Chizhou, terrible English but lovely lad who tried so hard. Bear in mind I wasn’t looking forward to seeing the class, I had been up since five and my sleep had been constantly interrupted by my legs itching like mad (if they don’t get any better soon I am going to be forced to see a dermatologist), I really didn’t want to chat.
He however wanted to atone for the entire class. As nicely as I could I stopped him by telling him it would all be discussed in the lesson. I was armed and dangerous and wanted to keep my powder dry in the event it was needed.
It would have been just my luck for the bus to have dropped us off late but for once fortune smiled when I wanted it to. I had enough time to have a smoke in my office and compose my thoughts. In fact on the 3rd floor I paused for some minutes. I had spotted a ginger cat on the playing field and it was stalking something. For the life of me I could see nothing, so I assumed there was a mouse. Then I spotted two Chinese pigeons (theirs are different, believe it or not) on a patch of turf.
The cat was good. If you couldn’t see its legs you would never know it was moving inexorably closer by the minute. Every time one of the birds looked in its direction it froze. It was a hunting masterclass. Just as the feline closed the distance to within striking range two students walked across on their way somewhere and scared the birds! I was glad but I was also sorry for the cat. It may have been an hour in its quest for all I know and suddenly it had all been for nothing. I could almost hear Puss screaming, you B******s!!!
Then it was time for class after my cigar. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Morning greeting and then woe betide anyone who hadn’t at last completed the tests online. Of course everyone had simply because they knew what was coming. Scores taken, I then invited anyone who wished to give the class a tale to speak.
A girl put her hand up. She has never said a word in class before. It wasn’t a story but an apology and a plea for me to come to their party. I hadn’t intended to broach the distasteful subject of recent events quite that early but I felt my hand had been forced, just as I had forced theirs. Cards on the table time.
I told them I didn’t want to know which students had ratted on me, it wasn’t important, they stood or fell as a class. Not one denied they had complained to the President or indeed what they had said so in this instance there had been no misunderstanding. They were then informed of the way they should have gone about things ie approach me first and if they got no joy, THEN go higher. A valuable life lesson for all of them. The explanation given to me was that they had never had a foreigner before and they didn’t know how to deal with me.
I then asked if what they moaned about not getting (advance topics) was how it was done in high school, and as undergraduates. Yes. I then held up the sheet with their marks (not one has passed) and asked if that way had worked? To a man they shook their heads. How do you think my doing that will help you in Cyprus? The consensus was that just perhaps on this occasion I was making sense. There will be no more going to the President I am sure and they are now under no illusion that they can’t come and speak to me if they have a problem. I also discovered the reason for their lack of major concern over passing the next test in December. They can in fact fail as badly as they like, if they don’t pass they can still go to Cyprus but they will have to take a year of English classes costing perhaps 50,000y. Well that’s terrific because it means I cannot possibly fail either but it is hardly the point. I asked them if it wouldn’t be better for them to be able to call their parents and say they had saved them 50,000? Slowly but surely I am moulding the way they view the world and that makes me happy. I just wish I could have longer to do it.
I then invited stories and as I thought, quite a few had prepared one. Before I knew it, official break time was already over so I had to let them relax a little later than normal. I was still keeping them in the dark regarding the lunch, purely out of devilment by now.
In the break, mid-cigar, two boys came to my office to ask if I would please come to the party. I couldn’t resist saying that if I had intended to go I would have brought my camera with me this morning. Oh we can take photos with our phones for you! Deadpan, I pulled from my pocket my camera. They rushed off to tell the others the news.
Eventually they persuaded me to let the class out 20 minutes early so the buses wouldn’t be busy and we went to a huge plaza and a restaurant which was an all you could eat, buffet style, pizzas and allsorts. Thirteen of us in all sat at tables pushed together and two cases of beer were consumed, silly games were played and everyone seemed to have a good time.
David and I left when we all finished in the restaurant, the others (or at least some of them) went elsewhere to continue the fun. I didn’t dare as I needed electricity or I was in trouble. Anyway I was tired and so were my legs.
Once home I collected my electricity top up card and strolled to where the lady dishes out power. The computer said no. Well neither of us could understand the other but I got the impression I was supposed to have slid the card in the meter before I went to see her. Nobody told me this and anyway the box for the meters is locked and I don’t have a key. It ended with her coming with me back home (my poor legs!) and showing me the slot it is supposed to go in. I must say it is well hidden (doesn’t need the door unlocking) and if she hadn’t shown me I doubt I would have seen it. Back to her office and voila, I have more credit. This time I think she has put a lot more than 400y on because I seem to have 450 instead of the 93 I got last time. Its free for me anyway (thank God) so if I could I’d get her to put 10,000 on if I could, it would save me visiting so often.
So after today’s events, it looks as if I need to make another batch of bread pudding to take to class on Monday!
Yesterday’s day off was quite busy. A run to the supermarket and before that a search for new shoes. I ended up paying more than I wanted for footwear but at least I got some - the trainers I have worn for the last year are getting decidedly thin on the bottom, which means I can feel every stone I tread on - a lot what with all the roadworks near my home.
When I got home I rested for half an hour and then decided it was haircut time. I recalled seeing a barbers close to the BRT stop and my barnet is much longer than I like to keep it - seriously getting into combing territory. I also decided to give the new shoes an outing, I had opted for shoes rather than trainers this time seeing as winter is not far off. Well either I am going bonkers and there never was a barbers or it has closed down recently! Now, I have electric clippers I brought with me from England but in Chizhou it wasn’t worth the hassle of cutting my own hair seeing as it only cost 10y for a shearing. I will have a crack at it at the weekend. The only problem is that I don’t think I have the adapters to regulate length and I have an awful feeling that if I use it “neat” I’m going to end up with bald patches! And if I do, no you won’t get a photo.
With no barbers in sight I nearly came home but then I remembered from when I first arrived there is an appliance shop near the BRT. At least I could buy a heater. By this time (and I had walked all of a kilometre) my feet were killing me - or rather the shoes were killing my feet. Again I spent more than I wanted to but at least I now have a heater.
By the time I limped home my heels were red raw. It will probably be a week before I dare put the shoes on again and when I do it will be just to potter around the flat for a while. I hope I can break them in before winter does arrive!
In the evening Janet finally replied to my email, sent in response to the latest teaching development. She is still in the traditional Chinese medicine hospital next door to where I teach and I now know she has a bad back. I can only think she is receiving acupuncture. She was sorry she had said what she had and wished she had kept quiet. Would I please go to the lunch with the students because they think you are the best?
Well with the sheer angst all this had caused me (and it certainly had), no way I was letting anyone off the hook that quickly - if I was to come out on top they could all stew a while, just as I had. I settled down in my office with my new heater and sat attired in just boxers and shirt. Much more comfortable than fully togged up and with a fleece to boot. In fact I even took it to the bedroom when I went to sleep and left it on low all night.
When I had arrived home for the last time yesterday evening my electricity meter read 56 left out of the 93 I had when we topped up a fortnight ago. When I left to get the bus this morning I was horrified to see I was now on a mere 36! That was about 80y just in one night! What with the top-up office only opening on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I needed more credit or I was going to be in darkness come next Tuesday!
On the bus to school David sat behind me. He reminds me so much of Norman who was my student in Chizhou, terrible English but lovely lad who tried so hard. Bear in mind I wasn’t looking forward to seeing the class, I had been up since five and my sleep had been constantly interrupted by my legs itching like mad (if they don’t get any better soon I am going to be forced to see a dermatologist), I really didn’t want to chat.
He however wanted to atone for the entire class. As nicely as I could I stopped him by telling him it would all be discussed in the lesson. I was armed and dangerous and wanted to keep my powder dry in the event it was needed.
It would have been just my luck for the bus to have dropped us off late but for once fortune smiled when I wanted it to. I had enough time to have a smoke in my office and compose my thoughts. In fact on the 3rd floor I paused for some minutes. I had spotted a ginger cat on the playing field and it was stalking something. For the life of me I could see nothing, so I assumed there was a mouse. Then I spotted two Chinese pigeons (theirs are different, believe it or not) on a patch of turf.
The cat was good. If you couldn’t see its legs you would never know it was moving inexorably closer by the minute. Every time one of the birds looked in its direction it froze. It was a hunting masterclass. Just as the feline closed the distance to within striking range two students walked across on their way somewhere and scared the birds! I was glad but I was also sorry for the cat. It may have been an hour in its quest for all I know and suddenly it had all been for nothing. I could almost hear Puss screaming, you B******s!!!
Then it was time for class after my cigar. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Morning greeting and then woe betide anyone who hadn’t at last completed the tests online. Of course everyone had simply because they knew what was coming. Scores taken, I then invited anyone who wished to give the class a tale to speak.
A girl put her hand up. She has never said a word in class before. It wasn’t a story but an apology and a plea for me to come to their party. I hadn’t intended to broach the distasteful subject of recent events quite that early but I felt my hand had been forced, just as I had forced theirs. Cards on the table time.
I told them I didn’t want to know which students had ratted on me, it wasn’t important, they stood or fell as a class. Not one denied they had complained to the President or indeed what they had said so in this instance there had been no misunderstanding. They were then informed of the way they should have gone about things ie approach me first and if they got no joy, THEN go higher. A valuable life lesson for all of them. The explanation given to me was that they had never had a foreigner before and they didn’t know how to deal with me.
I then asked if what they moaned about not getting (advance topics) was how it was done in high school, and as undergraduates. Yes. I then held up the sheet with their marks (not one has passed) and asked if that way had worked? To a man they shook their heads. How do you think my doing that will help you in Cyprus? The consensus was that just perhaps on this occasion I was making sense. There will be no more going to the President I am sure and they are now under no illusion that they can’t come and speak to me if they have a problem. I also discovered the reason for their lack of major concern over passing the next test in December. They can in fact fail as badly as they like, if they don’t pass they can still go to Cyprus but they will have to take a year of English classes costing perhaps 50,000y. Well that’s terrific because it means I cannot possibly fail either but it is hardly the point. I asked them if it wouldn’t be better for them to be able to call their parents and say they had saved them 50,000? Slowly but surely I am moulding the way they view the world and that makes me happy. I just wish I could have longer to do it.
I then invited stories and as I thought, quite a few had prepared one. Before I knew it, official break time was already over so I had to let them relax a little later than normal. I was still keeping them in the dark regarding the lunch, purely out of devilment by now.
In the break, mid-cigar, two boys came to my office to ask if I would please come to the party. I couldn’t resist saying that if I had intended to go I would have brought my camera with me this morning. Oh we can take photos with our phones for you! Deadpan, I pulled from my pocket my camera. They rushed off to tell the others the news.
Eventually they persuaded me to let the class out 20 minutes early so the buses wouldn’t be busy and we went to a huge plaza and a restaurant which was an all you could eat, buffet style, pizzas and allsorts. Thirteen of us in all sat at tables pushed together and two cases of beer were consumed, silly games were played and everyone seemed to have a good time.
David and I left when we all finished in the restaurant, the others (or at least some of them) went elsewhere to continue the fun. I didn’t dare as I needed electricity or I was in trouble. Anyway I was tired and so were my legs.
Once home I collected my electricity top up card and strolled to where the lady dishes out power. The computer said no. Well neither of us could understand the other but I got the impression I was supposed to have slid the card in the meter before I went to see her. Nobody told me this and anyway the box for the meters is locked and I don’t have a key. It ended with her coming with me back home (my poor legs!) and showing me the slot it is supposed to go in. I must say it is well hidden (doesn’t need the door unlocking) and if she hadn’t shown me I doubt I would have seen it. Back to her office and voila, I have more credit. This time I think she has put a lot more than 400y on because I seem to have 450 instead of the 93 I got last time. Its free for me anyway (thank God) so if I could I’d get her to put 10,000 on if I could, it would save me visiting so often.
So after today’s events, it looks as if I need to make another batch of bread pudding to take to class on Monday!
Wednesday, 12 October 2016
Wednesday 12th October, 2016 0035
Seething. I WAS incandescent but after six hours I have subsided to merely seething. More on that later.
I waited for the school bus this afternoon. And I waited. And waited. Take a taxi came the response to my text advising the bus was very late now (35 minutes). Like last time when I had to pay it myself? By this time I had hailed a cab anyway.
Half an hour late (for two periods lasting 100 minutes, was it worth it?) I got there. Fair play to the crazy driver, he was there and in fact paid me for the taxi and also the last time when he forgot to pick me up. Nice chap but if it was my school he wouldn’t be driving for me much longer.
Ok so I was in a foul mood. I hate being late and the situation with the buses, which I thought had been rectified by confining James Hunt to afternoon runs, clearly had not. No sense in taking it out on the class who had been waiting for me for half an hour so onwards and upwards eh? Little did I know what serpents I was harbouring so close to my heart.
Class over - and I deliberately ran over time because neither they nor I were in a rush after official finishing time - I left with Suzy and Sheila to go to what online is advertised as the biggest supermarket in Lanzhou and the best for cheese. RT Mart. Oh boy, have I been looking forward to some cheddar!
The taxi dropped us off at the mall, not far from where the class want to treat me to lunch on Thursday, Wanda Plaza. Before we entered, Suzy’s phone rang and after a while it was passed to me. It was Janet, my assistant. How much did the bus driver owe me for taxis? Nothing, he paid me this afternoon. Ok, something more serious. The president is not satisfied with your teaching methods. What? There was a meeting with some students in the post-graduate class (the ones who want to study in Cyprus) and they complained they can’t talk in class. Well they can, in fact I beg them to, just not in Chinese with their friends, however, sorry, what do you mean? They say you don’t give them topics for discussion. What??? They have no chance to prepare for the topic. They are told to bring me a story every class about something they did, that happened, they saw or what they read in the news. So far 6 stories and two of those from a sit-in who is not a class member. I don’t give them a topic?
Please understand that when (sorry, if) these people get to Cyprus the lessons will be in English only, no consideration will be paid as to whether they can speak it or not and they will certainly NOT be given the opportunity to cheat online beforehand. How on earth will allowing them to prepare for impromptu speaking help them?
I confess my blood tipped the thermometer rapidly and I started to reply, only for Janet to rather curtly say “Sorry I will call you later”. Hours later I now think she was either in the president’s office or a meeting convened just for this occasion because no such “later“ call was received. A wing of the university that has never had a foreign teacher before and now, God forbid, they have a bad one?
Based on the comments from a few students without said teacher even being approached for their side. Oh yes, I was then and still am many hours later, mightily pissed off. I have had enough experience after six years in the practice of Chinese schools believing everything students say and hanging foreign teachers out to dry, doesn’t make it any more palatable though. In fact the more it happens the more my blood pressure rises and this one is Etna-sized. The rumour in Chizhou about me paying for prostitutes every night was hilarious, this on the other hand is war.
The situation was not enhanced by the “biggest supermarket with the best cheeses” having absolutely sod all that I wanted. Cheese? Fine if you want grated mozzarella and camembert, forget cheddar. Heaters? Come back after the school turns the heating back on and you don’t need it anyway. Tortillas? What? Imported goods section? Over there - some foreign biscuits and spaghetti. Three times the size of the RT Mart in Chizhou and as far as I am concerned a quarter of the products. If I was angry before, RT Mart tonight simply served to keep the blood on a rolling boil.
It was as much as I could do not to explode at the girls (not their fault) but I did let off steam at a most unhelpful supermarket ubersturmbahnfuehrer when she refiused to let us back in when we couldn’t find the lockers where the girls had left their handbags. A slight safety valve but a necessary one. In fact had anyone kicked off with a mugging close by I would have positively relished getting involved no matter if weapons were involved. My commitment and professionalism had been judged, found lacking and sentenced in absentia and I was none too happy.
As you may gather, I am still not in the best frame of mind and my job may well be at stake but I am not under any circumstances going to cave in on this or take any prisoners. If they want me to do what I feel is completely and utterly the most asinine thing possible then fine, I will do it on the proviso that I am advising I will be of no help to the students.
Students. Well that’s a laugh. It’s like having a load of ferrets in the room and trying to get them to tell a joke. In fact I might have more luck with the ferrets.
Under normal circumstances I would demand a meeting with the president. Remember, I have been given no assistance and only been asked to improve English. The best translator in the house is Janet and her level is about age 10. What chance do I have?
I have composed an email for Janet which I doubt very much will be translated with anything approaching accuracy and in which I have shown what I feel commendable restraint. I think I have wasted a few hours. I am not leaving it there though. Call my ability into question at your peril.
I am not sending the email while I am still in high dudgeon. I shall sleep on it first and if I deem necessary (unlikely) in the morning then I shall emend it. What I have done is post the full text of it to a group of Old Conways for their thoughts overnight. Mostly a group of old sea captains with the same ethos as me and between them have fought world wars and absolutely anything life can throw at you. I never ask for advice normally but what with being basically a foreigner alone here I have no colleagues to bounce things off.
Anyway, after deciding that never again will I go to RT Mart in Lanzhou (only thing they had I miss being French stick and I’m not paying 65y on taxis for a loaf of bread) we came home to dump the shopping and onwards to take the girls for dinner.
They opted for Chinese rather than Buddy’s Diner which suited me. It was going to be cheaper and I liked it but couldn’t go alone because the portions are too big for one. I ordered the sweet pork, the girls a form of cabbage and a dish I have wondered about ever since I first went to the restaurant when I stayed at the hotel nearby when I first arrived. Remember the one I thought might be Peking duck from the photo?
Well it isn’t. The girls had to look on their phones after I had tried it. I wasn’t keen but I wanted the pancakes. I couldn’t decide whether the shredded meat was pork or some other creature. They found it. It was griskin.
Now of course you all know what griskin is, right? I reckon my vocabulary is a respectable one but griskin? I think the girls were stunned when I said I had never heard the word, somewhat less when I informed them that there were over a million words in the English language and that there was not a man on the planet who could possibly know them all.
Griskin? Any of my UK readers know what it is without looking it up? I have looked it up and no I won’t tell you but I will be honest and say that I will probably never in my life refer to a pork chop as griskin even if I live to be a hundred!
I am going to try to disassociate my brain from today’s events but I think I am going to bed on Defcon 2. I may be at war.
Seething. I WAS incandescent but after six hours I have subsided to merely seething. More on that later.
I waited for the school bus this afternoon. And I waited. And waited. Take a taxi came the response to my text advising the bus was very late now (35 minutes). Like last time when I had to pay it myself? By this time I had hailed a cab anyway.
Half an hour late (for two periods lasting 100 minutes, was it worth it?) I got there. Fair play to the crazy driver, he was there and in fact paid me for the taxi and also the last time when he forgot to pick me up. Nice chap but if it was my school he wouldn’t be driving for me much longer.
Ok so I was in a foul mood. I hate being late and the situation with the buses, which I thought had been rectified by confining James Hunt to afternoon runs, clearly had not. No sense in taking it out on the class who had been waiting for me for half an hour so onwards and upwards eh? Little did I know what serpents I was harbouring so close to my heart.
Class over - and I deliberately ran over time because neither they nor I were in a rush after official finishing time - I left with Suzy and Sheila to go to what online is advertised as the biggest supermarket in Lanzhou and the best for cheese. RT Mart. Oh boy, have I been looking forward to some cheddar!
The taxi dropped us off at the mall, not far from where the class want to treat me to lunch on Thursday, Wanda Plaza. Before we entered, Suzy’s phone rang and after a while it was passed to me. It was Janet, my assistant. How much did the bus driver owe me for taxis? Nothing, he paid me this afternoon. Ok, something more serious. The president is not satisfied with your teaching methods. What? There was a meeting with some students in the post-graduate class (the ones who want to study in Cyprus) and they complained they can’t talk in class. Well they can, in fact I beg them to, just not in Chinese with their friends, however, sorry, what do you mean? They say you don’t give them topics for discussion. What??? They have no chance to prepare for the topic. They are told to bring me a story every class about something they did, that happened, they saw or what they read in the news. So far 6 stories and two of those from a sit-in who is not a class member. I don’t give them a topic?
Please understand that when (sorry, if) these people get to Cyprus the lessons will be in English only, no consideration will be paid as to whether they can speak it or not and they will certainly NOT be given the opportunity to cheat online beforehand. How on earth will allowing them to prepare for impromptu speaking help them?
I confess my blood tipped the thermometer rapidly and I started to reply, only for Janet to rather curtly say “Sorry I will call you later”. Hours later I now think she was either in the president’s office or a meeting convened just for this occasion because no such “later“ call was received. A wing of the university that has never had a foreign teacher before and now, God forbid, they have a bad one?
Based on the comments from a few students without said teacher even being approached for their side. Oh yes, I was then and still am many hours later, mightily pissed off. I have had enough experience after six years in the practice of Chinese schools believing everything students say and hanging foreign teachers out to dry, doesn’t make it any more palatable though. In fact the more it happens the more my blood pressure rises and this one is Etna-sized. The rumour in Chizhou about me paying for prostitutes every night was hilarious, this on the other hand is war.
The situation was not enhanced by the “biggest supermarket with the best cheeses” having absolutely sod all that I wanted. Cheese? Fine if you want grated mozzarella and camembert, forget cheddar. Heaters? Come back after the school turns the heating back on and you don’t need it anyway. Tortillas? What? Imported goods section? Over there - some foreign biscuits and spaghetti. Three times the size of the RT Mart in Chizhou and as far as I am concerned a quarter of the products. If I was angry before, RT Mart tonight simply served to keep the blood on a rolling boil.
It was as much as I could do not to explode at the girls (not their fault) but I did let off steam at a most unhelpful supermarket ubersturmbahnfuehrer when she refiused to let us back in when we couldn’t find the lockers where the girls had left their handbags. A slight safety valve but a necessary one. In fact had anyone kicked off with a mugging close by I would have positively relished getting involved no matter if weapons were involved. My commitment and professionalism had been judged, found lacking and sentenced in absentia and I was none too happy.
As you may gather, I am still not in the best frame of mind and my job may well be at stake but I am not under any circumstances going to cave in on this or take any prisoners. If they want me to do what I feel is completely and utterly the most asinine thing possible then fine, I will do it on the proviso that I am advising I will be of no help to the students.
Students. Well that’s a laugh. It’s like having a load of ferrets in the room and trying to get them to tell a joke. In fact I might have more luck with the ferrets.
Under normal circumstances I would demand a meeting with the president. Remember, I have been given no assistance and only been asked to improve English. The best translator in the house is Janet and her level is about age 10. What chance do I have?
I have composed an email for Janet which I doubt very much will be translated with anything approaching accuracy and in which I have shown what I feel commendable restraint. I think I have wasted a few hours. I am not leaving it there though. Call my ability into question at your peril.
I am not sending the email while I am still in high dudgeon. I shall sleep on it first and if I deem necessary (unlikely) in the morning then I shall emend it. What I have done is post the full text of it to a group of Old Conways for their thoughts overnight. Mostly a group of old sea captains with the same ethos as me and between them have fought world wars and absolutely anything life can throw at you. I never ask for advice normally but what with being basically a foreigner alone here I have no colleagues to bounce things off.
Anyway, after deciding that never again will I go to RT Mart in Lanzhou (only thing they had I miss being French stick and I’m not paying 65y on taxis for a loaf of bread) we came home to dump the shopping and onwards to take the girls for dinner.
They opted for Chinese rather than Buddy’s Diner which suited me. It was going to be cheaper and I liked it but couldn’t go alone because the portions are too big for one. I ordered the sweet pork, the girls a form of cabbage and a dish I have wondered about ever since I first went to the restaurant when I stayed at the hotel nearby when I first arrived. Remember the one I thought might be Peking duck from the photo?
Well it isn’t. The girls had to look on their phones after I had tried it. I wasn’t keen but I wanted the pancakes. I couldn’t decide whether the shredded meat was pork or some other creature. They found it. It was griskin.
Now of course you all know what griskin is, right? I reckon my vocabulary is a respectable one but griskin? I think the girls were stunned when I said I had never heard the word, somewhat less when I informed them that there were over a million words in the English language and that there was not a man on the planet who could possibly know them all.
Griskin? Any of my UK readers know what it is without looking it up? I have looked it up and no I won’t tell you but I will be honest and say that I will probably never in my life refer to a pork chop as griskin even if I live to be a hundred!
I am going to try to disassociate my brain from today’s events but I think I am going to bed on Defcon 2. I may be at war.
Monday, 10 October 2016
Monday 10th October, 2016 1445
It’s difficult to get your body clock finely tuned when you have to get up ridiculously early two days of the week and not the other five. There’s no way I intend to start a regime of waking at 0500 every single day so I have to accept that on the days I do I am going to be tired, having slept possibly six hours. I can handle that.
That’s fine but not when those precious hours are constantly interrupted so the best you can manage is a ten minute snooze at a time. “He can’t have been tired” I hear some of you say? I was certainly tired enough to sleep but I was sharing the bedroom with a mosquito. Here they are twice the size of the Chizhou natives although as there, they don’t have me for dinner. What this little swine did was make intermittent low passes over my head so I had sporadic buzzing in my ear - loud enough to drag me back from the abyss of sleep. We’ve all been there, that halfway house where you KNOW you should get up and do something about the disturbance but stupidly you think you will drop off. It never works and I never got up to exterminate it. I did however exact revenge when I finally had to rise by obliterating him and three of his friends in the bathroom.
When I left home I went to check my bank balance en route to the bus, intending to contact foreign affairs to expedite my salary. I was stunned to find not only had I been paid but on Saturday! In the last place it was never done until the Monday if payday fell on a weekend - even if the weekend was a catch up so after Friday I never suspected I should check. I suppose I should be annoyed at having had to scratch around for money unnecessarily but the truth is it was for the best. I have already spent 1,000y today alone and will probably spend the same again tomorrow in RT Mart and hopefully also getting a pair of shoes/trainers. It’s astonishing how everything adds up, from coat hangers to a mop, colander to extension lead etc. Some items will need to wait another month. I am only glad I brought a lot of stuff with me.
So tomorrow I will treat Suzy and Sheila to dinner for helping me shop after class tomorrow afternoon and then the class want to treat me to a western lunch (probably pizza) at Wanda Square in the city centre on Thursday. There’s no chance I shall treat the entire class to a dinner by way of repayment, although I may host a party at home at Christmas - mind you with my little oven I will have to think hard what I can make in any quantity by way of food. Probably a huge cauldron of chilli with French bread plus a load of nibbles. If only I could buy vol au vent cases! By then though I will be producing ham and with luck, sausages. I feel a plan coming together!
I have cleared all the worklmens’ debris and am still awaiting a reply regarding covering holes and replacing the shields. I could do the latter myself but that would involve buying a screwdriver and I have enough to fork out for as it is this month. And I need a haircut.
Regarding the utilities here, I reckon everyone else gobbles up gas yet uses little electricity. It is apparent I am to be the exact reverse. The reason of course is because of my appliances - oven, chip maker, bread maker, toaster, processor - and the fact I cook very little on the hob. I use about a cubic metre of gas per diem (most of that goes on showering) yet have used a third of the 400y of electricity we topped up with not two weeks ago! I will have to be careful to top up just before spring festival otherwise I will run out. Come to think of it, without the pets, in Chizhou a bottle of gas lasted about four months.
It’s difficult to get your body clock finely tuned when you have to get up ridiculously early two days of the week and not the other five. There’s no way I intend to start a regime of waking at 0500 every single day so I have to accept that on the days I do I am going to be tired, having slept possibly six hours. I can handle that.
That’s fine but not when those precious hours are constantly interrupted so the best you can manage is a ten minute snooze at a time. “He can’t have been tired” I hear some of you say? I was certainly tired enough to sleep but I was sharing the bedroom with a mosquito. Here they are twice the size of the Chizhou natives although as there, they don’t have me for dinner. What this little swine did was make intermittent low passes over my head so I had sporadic buzzing in my ear - loud enough to drag me back from the abyss of sleep. We’ve all been there, that halfway house where you KNOW you should get up and do something about the disturbance but stupidly you think you will drop off. It never works and I never got up to exterminate it. I did however exact revenge when I finally had to rise by obliterating him and three of his friends in the bathroom.
When I left home I went to check my bank balance en route to the bus, intending to contact foreign affairs to expedite my salary. I was stunned to find not only had I been paid but on Saturday! In the last place it was never done until the Monday if payday fell on a weekend - even if the weekend was a catch up so after Friday I never suspected I should check. I suppose I should be annoyed at having had to scratch around for money unnecessarily but the truth is it was for the best. I have already spent 1,000y today alone and will probably spend the same again tomorrow in RT Mart and hopefully also getting a pair of shoes/trainers. It’s astonishing how everything adds up, from coat hangers to a mop, colander to extension lead etc. Some items will need to wait another month. I am only glad I brought a lot of stuff with me.
So tomorrow I will treat Suzy and Sheila to dinner for helping me shop after class tomorrow afternoon and then the class want to treat me to a western lunch (probably pizza) at Wanda Square in the city centre on Thursday. There’s no chance I shall treat the entire class to a dinner by way of repayment, although I may host a party at home at Christmas - mind you with my little oven I will have to think hard what I can make in any quantity by way of food. Probably a huge cauldron of chilli with French bread plus a load of nibbles. If only I could buy vol au vent cases! By then though I will be producing ham and with luck, sausages. I feel a plan coming together!
I have cleared all the worklmens’ debris and am still awaiting a reply regarding covering holes and replacing the shields. I could do the latter myself but that would involve buying a screwdriver and I have enough to fork out for as it is this month. And I need a haircut.
Regarding the utilities here, I reckon everyone else gobbles up gas yet uses little electricity. It is apparent I am to be the exact reverse. The reason of course is because of my appliances - oven, chip maker, bread maker, toaster, processor - and the fact I cook very little on the hob. I use about a cubic metre of gas per diem (most of that goes on showering) yet have used a third of the 400y of electricity we topped up with not two weeks ago! I will have to be careful to top up just before spring festival otherwise I will run out. Come to think of it, without the pets, in Chizhou a bottle of gas lasted about four months.
Sunday, 9 October 2016
Sunday 9th October, 2016 1830
Well of course, if I had to work on Saturday it stood to reason I had to work on Sunday as well! The odd thing was, today’s (normally Friday’s) class, the one that started out at 60 students then gradually dropped to 30, was shifted to my normal classroom because the big room wasn’t required any longer. Great for me as I didn’t need to go up, down, up and down, just up and down once.
Considering it was a Sunday, the class is voluntary attendance and it has been sodding cold today, I was surprised when 40 turned up, necessitating stools being raided from other empty classrooms! Oddly, it was quite a lively class so there is hope yet.
Yesterday afternoon I was peacefully minding my own business at home when there came a knock at the door. Four Keystone Kops aka the repair men. Had they come to sort out my washing machine? Don’t be silly. Central heating pipes.
I am guessing that being ground floor corner, my flat is the entry point for the hot water/oil or whatever they use, whilst the one next door is the outlet for the entire block. We are the only ones with tunnels dug underneath. Basically they needed to disconnect the old pipes and reconnect to new ones.
This had to be carried out in the bathroom, living room, bedroom, dining room and office. They proceeded to spend the next four hours hacking, sawing, banging and jack-hammering at walls, boardings and floors. Eventually and without so much as a “bye bye” they left, leaving me to wonder why it was so quiet and if I really needed to have my front door open in the cold weather.
They have very kindly left me all the rubble, boarding and dust to clear up and not only have they not filled in any of the gaps/holes but neither have they replaced the glass heat shields for the radiators, leaving screws and screw covers laying about everywhere. Affable chaps though they may be, I am not best pleased at having my home destroyed, disrupted and left like a building site. I can do that all on my own without their assistance. It’s enough to make one buy a heater and then when the heating does eventually get turned on (I believe next month) simply close all the valves so everyone else freezes.
But hell was I cold today when I left for the bus. I had the fleece on under a jacket and marvelled at locals wandering around with just a shirt and a thin top. I wonder how many years it would take me to acclimatise to that? Ask me whether I prefer cold or heat and I will say it has to be heat. I always used to say cold was better because you can always put more clothing on yet you can only take so much of it off. I now realise what an idiotic thing that was to say! And it’s still only October and the temperatures haven’t dipped into single figures - HELP!!!
Tomorrow is payday. I have sent the foreign affairs department a polite email requesting that they give accounts a jog seeing as I won’t be automated yet as I don’t have a Bank of China account and just in case, I have managed to shepherd my meagre funds so that if worse comes to worst, I have 50y for tomorrow - enough for a tin of cigars, bottle of wine and some burger buns + onion so I can make hot dogs for my dinner. I hope it doesn’t come to that because on Tuesday I am hoping to get Suzy and Sheila to come with me to RT Mart so I can do a big shop (CHEESE!!!). We shall see.
This afternoon whilst waiting for the school bus (Fittipaldi has been fired from early morning runs as he is always late so is now confined to afternoons and return trips where it doesn’t matter. The other guy is also late and drives carefully yet almost always gets us there early, figure that out?) I was reminded of something I have long despaired of here.
A chap in an army uniform walked past, plainly an officer but without researching insignia I wouldn’t know for sure, who I guessed, what with the amount of gold and number of pips and other regalia surely had to be a 3 star general in the Peoples’ Liberation Army at the very least. Very smart indeed.
However, as with so many hundreds of security guards, policemen, tax inspectors and other uniform wearers who have crossed my path in six years, a glance earthwards spoilt the illusion.
Instead of nicely polished black shoes there were white and blue training shoes.
Well of course, if I had to work on Saturday it stood to reason I had to work on Sunday as well! The odd thing was, today’s (normally Friday’s) class, the one that started out at 60 students then gradually dropped to 30, was shifted to my normal classroom because the big room wasn’t required any longer. Great for me as I didn’t need to go up, down, up and down, just up and down once.
Considering it was a Sunday, the class is voluntary attendance and it has been sodding cold today, I was surprised when 40 turned up, necessitating stools being raided from other empty classrooms! Oddly, it was quite a lively class so there is hope yet.
Yesterday afternoon I was peacefully minding my own business at home when there came a knock at the door. Four Keystone Kops aka the repair men. Had they come to sort out my washing machine? Don’t be silly. Central heating pipes.
I am guessing that being ground floor corner, my flat is the entry point for the hot water/oil or whatever they use, whilst the one next door is the outlet for the entire block. We are the only ones with tunnels dug underneath. Basically they needed to disconnect the old pipes and reconnect to new ones.
This had to be carried out in the bathroom, living room, bedroom, dining room and office. They proceeded to spend the next four hours hacking, sawing, banging and jack-hammering at walls, boardings and floors. Eventually and without so much as a “bye bye” they left, leaving me to wonder why it was so quiet and if I really needed to have my front door open in the cold weather.
They have very kindly left me all the rubble, boarding and dust to clear up and not only have they not filled in any of the gaps/holes but neither have they replaced the glass heat shields for the radiators, leaving screws and screw covers laying about everywhere. Affable chaps though they may be, I am not best pleased at having my home destroyed, disrupted and left like a building site. I can do that all on my own without their assistance. It’s enough to make one buy a heater and then when the heating does eventually get turned on (I believe next month) simply close all the valves so everyone else freezes.
But hell was I cold today when I left for the bus. I had the fleece on under a jacket and marvelled at locals wandering around with just a shirt and a thin top. I wonder how many years it would take me to acclimatise to that? Ask me whether I prefer cold or heat and I will say it has to be heat. I always used to say cold was better because you can always put more clothing on yet you can only take so much of it off. I now realise what an idiotic thing that was to say! And it’s still only October and the temperatures haven’t dipped into single figures - HELP!!!
Tomorrow is payday. I have sent the foreign affairs department a polite email requesting that they give accounts a jog seeing as I won’t be automated yet as I don’t have a Bank of China account and just in case, I have managed to shepherd my meagre funds so that if worse comes to worst, I have 50y for tomorrow - enough for a tin of cigars, bottle of wine and some burger buns + onion so I can make hot dogs for my dinner. I hope it doesn’t come to that because on Tuesday I am hoping to get Suzy and Sheila to come with me to RT Mart so I can do a big shop (CHEESE!!!). We shall see.
This afternoon whilst waiting for the school bus (Fittipaldi has been fired from early morning runs as he is always late so is now confined to afternoons and return trips where it doesn’t matter. The other guy is also late and drives carefully yet almost always gets us there early, figure that out?) I was reminded of something I have long despaired of here.
A chap in an army uniform walked past, plainly an officer but without researching insignia I wouldn’t know for sure, who I guessed, what with the amount of gold and number of pips and other regalia surely had to be a 3 star general in the Peoples’ Liberation Army at the very least. Very smart indeed.
However, as with so many hundreds of security guards, policemen, tax inspectors and other uniform wearers who have crossed my path in six years, a glance earthwards spoilt the illusion.
Instead of nicely polished black shoes there were white and blue training shoes.
Friday, 7 October 2016
Friday 7th October, 2016 1430
I am cold today. In fact it’s colder in my flat than it is outside.
I struggled to the supermarket to go and get some shopping for my dinner today, in fact I nearly never bothered but the thought of noodles yet again spurred me on. Why was it such a travail? My lower back is killing me.
For 60 years I have been blessed with a back that has only ever complained a little when I have overused it or when I subconsciously (and still do) bend over all the time when doing such things as washing dishes or chopping vegetables, when it is patently unnecessary. Today I can only blame one of two (or both) things - I either slept badly on my Fred Flintstone mattress or a week spent mostly sitting at the computer has taken its toll. Regardless, it served to make my trip unpleasant.
I hope it has disappeared by tomorrow. Yesterday I had a thought, well a suspicion really, regarding this holiday. It’s not often we get two consecutive weekends off outside of spring festival and summer holidays. A bit of research online enhanced my suspicion but failed to provide anything concrete. Suzy letting me know she wouldn’t be in class tomorrow morning was the clincher!
This sort of thing really annoys me even after six years. It is made even more irksome when before the holiday commenced I made a point of asking Janet whether there would be any make-up lessons yet she said nothing. Had I been in possession of my passport and sufficient funds, on the basis of that I may well have flitted off for a few days in Beijing, Shanghai, Shenyang or anywhere and arranged my flight back for Sunday. You know I wasn’t and didn’t.
Equally I could have simply carried on as I had thought I would and take the entire coming weekend off. Shut my phone down so nobody could contact me and then plead ignorance at about ten tomorrow morning. But you also know that’s not my nature either. So I sent Janet a text asking if there was anything she should have told me. Of course I got a reply informing me I have class all Saturday morning.
There will be some who perhaps are thinking “fool, could have had the day off scot-free” and yes I could have. I doubt very much if I would have been held to account (although they may have thought that after all this time I might have guessed) but Janet would certainly have been hauled over the coals. On top of that, those students who DO turn up tomorrow will have been let down really by yours truly. This way nobody is dropped in the brown stuff and although I won’t look like a hero, hopefully Janet will remember it and be sure to keep me informed next time. I could rail at the students for not correcting me when we last met and I said I would see them a week Monday but I can’t - they only found out from Janet themselves yesterday. This is what I believe the Americans call “SNAFU”.
So faced with an 0500 heave out for a Saturday slack party (apologies to non-Conways for the terminology) as you can imagine I have little appetite (leave alone money) to try any adventurous cooking. Instead it will be bacon, eggs and fried bread - I can’t even be bothered to make French toast. Of course I DO have HP sauce!!
Mind you, it’s payday Monday (if they remember me) and it will not be long before I can stock up on what I need to follow a delightfully unhealthy western diet properly again. Mind you, sitting on the bus today I was running through things I still need to buy and the list is frightening: at least 100y more of coat hangers, new mop, dry-cleaning to get done, long johns, gloves etc etc. Brenda seems to be under the impression that all westerners are newly-graduated “gap year” types who live out of a suitcase and only eat the local food. The idea that perhaps as we age, so we appreciate our creature comforts and familiar things, has not I think occurred to her.
When I look back to 2010 I really do wonder how I managed before I bought an oven and discovered Taobao!
I am cold today. In fact it’s colder in my flat than it is outside.
I struggled to the supermarket to go and get some shopping for my dinner today, in fact I nearly never bothered but the thought of noodles yet again spurred me on. Why was it such a travail? My lower back is killing me.
For 60 years I have been blessed with a back that has only ever complained a little when I have overused it or when I subconsciously (and still do) bend over all the time when doing such things as washing dishes or chopping vegetables, when it is patently unnecessary. Today I can only blame one of two (or both) things - I either slept badly on my Fred Flintstone mattress or a week spent mostly sitting at the computer has taken its toll. Regardless, it served to make my trip unpleasant.
I hope it has disappeared by tomorrow. Yesterday I had a thought, well a suspicion really, regarding this holiday. It’s not often we get two consecutive weekends off outside of spring festival and summer holidays. A bit of research online enhanced my suspicion but failed to provide anything concrete. Suzy letting me know she wouldn’t be in class tomorrow morning was the clincher!
This sort of thing really annoys me even after six years. It is made even more irksome when before the holiday commenced I made a point of asking Janet whether there would be any make-up lessons yet she said nothing. Had I been in possession of my passport and sufficient funds, on the basis of that I may well have flitted off for a few days in Beijing, Shanghai, Shenyang or anywhere and arranged my flight back for Sunday. You know I wasn’t and didn’t.
Equally I could have simply carried on as I had thought I would and take the entire coming weekend off. Shut my phone down so nobody could contact me and then plead ignorance at about ten tomorrow morning. But you also know that’s not my nature either. So I sent Janet a text asking if there was anything she should have told me. Of course I got a reply informing me I have class all Saturday morning.
There will be some who perhaps are thinking “fool, could have had the day off scot-free” and yes I could have. I doubt very much if I would have been held to account (although they may have thought that after all this time I might have guessed) but Janet would certainly have been hauled over the coals. On top of that, those students who DO turn up tomorrow will have been let down really by yours truly. This way nobody is dropped in the brown stuff and although I won’t look like a hero, hopefully Janet will remember it and be sure to keep me informed next time. I could rail at the students for not correcting me when we last met and I said I would see them a week Monday but I can’t - they only found out from Janet themselves yesterday. This is what I believe the Americans call “SNAFU”.
So faced with an 0500 heave out for a Saturday slack party (apologies to non-Conways for the terminology) as you can imagine I have little appetite (leave alone money) to try any adventurous cooking. Instead it will be bacon, eggs and fried bread - I can’t even be bothered to make French toast. Of course I DO have HP sauce!!
Mind you, it’s payday Monday (if they remember me) and it will not be long before I can stock up on what I need to follow a delightfully unhealthy western diet properly again. Mind you, sitting on the bus today I was running through things I still need to buy and the list is frightening: at least 100y more of coat hangers, new mop, dry-cleaning to get done, long johns, gloves etc etc. Brenda seems to be under the impression that all westerners are newly-graduated “gap year” types who live out of a suitcase and only eat the local food. The idea that perhaps as we age, so we appreciate our creature comforts and familiar things, has not I think occurred to her.
When I look back to 2010 I really do wonder how I managed before I bought an oven and discovered Taobao!
Thursday, 6 October 2016
Thursday 6th October, 2016 1630
So much for beef noodles on Tuesday. Presumably because many students have gone home, there were only four items available, from which I picked chow mien. It’s completely different to any other I have had anywhere but tasty and the best bit is that it’s not oily as so many often are. It also comes in gargantuan portions I have no chance whatever of even making a dent in. For 10y though it was a cheap meal, cheaper than anything I can cook at home, that’s for sure. A student sat nearby me and ordered noodles in water with other stuff in it (looks too spicy for me) and it arrived in an Olympic sized swimming pool. Ten minutes later he left and to my utter amazement all he had left was the water!
It’s getting bloody cold now in the mid teens, at least for me. In the evenings I am sitting with my fleece on (at home!) as there is no heating due to the pipe replacements. I have no idea if it would be turned on anyway yet, seeing as some boys are still walking around with just a t-shirt on. It is tempting to move my smashed oven into the office and see if it runs in order to heat the place up a bit but I daren’t because the breakers are in a locked box to which I have no access if I trip them. After payday I am certainly going to buy a small heater - the people up here must come from Eskimo stock!
I keep meaning to finally pack away the rest of my stuff but have done nothing. In fact this is the worst holiday period I have ever had in China, what with not being able to go anywhere other than the supermarket. At least I have the basics for life - food, drink and smokes! Oh and of course the internet.
Today though I have finally moved my backside to try and make sausage rolls. Sausage meat of course isn’t available so I have used mince and herbs and hoped for the best. I think I got the pastry right but by God, pre-cooking they look more like interbred stretched pasties! That’s given me an idea though, I will have a shot at making them next. I don’t care what they look like, just as long as they taste good. I shall take a photo when they are cooked and post it with this entry but remember, don’t judge a sausage roll by its cover! I didn’t dare score the tops in case they fell apart.
All week I have had problems with the loo. I have put nothing down it apart from what it is designed for, yet on Monday morning for no reason it started draining really slowly. I don’t think it is anything to do with the pipe replacement as they are only doing the heating but it seems odd when it worked perfectly the night before. Using a plunger sees an improvement but only on the occasion you use it - allow the cistern to fill again and I am back to square one again. Ten flushes plus a bucket to “chase” is working for now and there’s no way I can get anyone to look at it this week. It will wait until Brenda brings them to look at what I need for the washing machine. At least since moving that the dhobi rash has gone because it drains properly, albeit all over the bathroom floor.
1830
Dinner is over. The sausage rolls didn’t look like sausage rolls, naturally. The filling I have to say tasted lovely and herby but the disappointment was the pastry. It was really hard and I have no idea why. I know if it’s too wet it goes hard but I was very careful and made this batch as dry as I could so I am at a loss and really peeved that I can’t get what any housewife does with her eyes closed right. Ah well, there’s always next time.
The camera had three pictures, roast pork dinner and omelette and chips as well as my mortar bombs this evening.
So much for beef noodles on Tuesday. Presumably because many students have gone home, there were only four items available, from which I picked chow mien. It’s completely different to any other I have had anywhere but tasty and the best bit is that it’s not oily as so many often are. It also comes in gargantuan portions I have no chance whatever of even making a dent in. For 10y though it was a cheap meal, cheaper than anything I can cook at home, that’s for sure. A student sat nearby me and ordered noodles in water with other stuff in it (looks too spicy for me) and it arrived in an Olympic sized swimming pool. Ten minutes later he left and to my utter amazement all he had left was the water!
It’s getting bloody cold now in the mid teens, at least for me. In the evenings I am sitting with my fleece on (at home!) as there is no heating due to the pipe replacements. I have no idea if it would be turned on anyway yet, seeing as some boys are still walking around with just a t-shirt on. It is tempting to move my smashed oven into the office and see if it runs in order to heat the place up a bit but I daren’t because the breakers are in a locked box to which I have no access if I trip them. After payday I am certainly going to buy a small heater - the people up here must come from Eskimo stock!
I keep meaning to finally pack away the rest of my stuff but have done nothing. In fact this is the worst holiday period I have ever had in China, what with not being able to go anywhere other than the supermarket. At least I have the basics for life - food, drink and smokes! Oh and of course the internet.
Today though I have finally moved my backside to try and make sausage rolls. Sausage meat of course isn’t available so I have used mince and herbs and hoped for the best. I think I got the pastry right but by God, pre-cooking they look more like interbred stretched pasties! That’s given me an idea though, I will have a shot at making them next. I don’t care what they look like, just as long as they taste good. I shall take a photo when they are cooked and post it with this entry but remember, don’t judge a sausage roll by its cover! I didn’t dare score the tops in case they fell apart.
All week I have had problems with the loo. I have put nothing down it apart from what it is designed for, yet on Monday morning for no reason it started draining really slowly. I don’t think it is anything to do with the pipe replacement as they are only doing the heating but it seems odd when it worked perfectly the night before. Using a plunger sees an improvement but only on the occasion you use it - allow the cistern to fill again and I am back to square one again. Ten flushes plus a bucket to “chase” is working for now and there’s no way I can get anyone to look at it this week. It will wait until Brenda brings them to look at what I need for the washing machine. At least since moving that the dhobi rash has gone because it drains properly, albeit all over the bathroom floor.
1830
Dinner is over. The sausage rolls didn’t look like sausage rolls, naturally. The filling I have to say tasted lovely and herby but the disappointment was the pastry. It was really hard and I have no idea why. I know if it’s too wet it goes hard but I was very careful and made this batch as dry as I could so I am at a loss and really peeved that I can’t get what any housewife does with her eyes closed right. Ah well, there’s always next time.
The camera had three pictures, roast pork dinner and omelette and chips as well as my mortar bombs this evening.
Tuesday, 4 October 2016
Tuesday 4th October, 2016 1500
I tried making bread again last night. Although I was having peppers for dinner I thought perhaps I might have toast and marmalade for breakfast this morning. I have a habit of guessing quantities when cooking, the only measuring devices I have ever had here being a couple of graduated beakers, however the new oven came with electronic scales capable of weighing up to 5kg. Quite what ingredient I will ever need to weigh at 10lbs I have no idea but I thought for once I would follow the instructions from the bread maker slavishly.
I wasn’t too concerned about wasting the flour because when I am paid I will find bread flour and the all purpose will be relegated to things like thickening or making a sauce for macaroni cheese etc. The last three efforts (bread, pitta and rolls) had produced respectively a breeze block, cardboard envelopes and cricket balls so I needed to find out if it was me, the flour or the recipe.
Well it isn’t me!
When it first came out of the machine the crust was lovely and crunchy and it felt soft to the squeeze. I had high hopes for breakfast this morning.
It was almost eleven when I got out of bed, no idea why as I retired before midnight. Well I have a bit of an idea, my skin has become so incredibly dry since arriving here in this arid climate that whenever the bedding touches my back it itches like fury and wakes me up often. Plus I think I have elderly upstairs neighbours who make their breakfast fresh, early and the chopping is quite loud in my bedroom.
Nonetheless, for once I thought I could face eating a morning meal as the plan was to go to BHG. Of late I have been hungry when getting off the bus and there is an underground food hall where you can get anything from hotpots to dumplings to sushi. The food is cheap and I have been eating at a table near a small outlet which does assorted dishes ready to eat (including sweet pork!) and one of the girls who works there is (yes you guessed!) rather comely. It normally costs me 11y for two dishes and rice - I told them I didn’t want their flavoured water (their version of soup) but just in case I get overlooked for my pay on Monday I am determined to eke out what I have to last until Tuesday. 11y may not be much but it would certainly feed me for a day at the local noodle place. In fact it will tonight because ultimately I abandoned the idea of shopping and might go tomorrow instead. That way I might treat myself to a pizza, I would make my own if I had cheese.
Anyway, the crust on the loaf had softened after a night in a plastic bin. I cut two slices and yes, it was soft. But it was STILL far too dense. It filled a hole but that’s as far as it went. I have to get this right and soon. Often I am happy to simply have beans on toast, rarebit or a sandwich but the bread around here is execrable. I will succeed!
So in an hour or so I will go and have some noodles (maybe the provincial speciality, beef noodles) and I will risk the wrath of Muhammad or Allah by taking a beer in with me. Previously I have used a hip flask and they must surely know I don’t have orange juice in it but being so blatant may be a beer too far! I will of course ask first AND take the flask to be safe.
From 28C yesterday we have dropped dramatically to 16C today and for the rest of the holiday it is set to be no higher. I checked on Chizhou and the lucky swines are ten degrees higher - mind you they are STILL a foreign English teacher short. I know I have mentioned it a few times and you may think I care.
I do!
I can’t remember if I mentioned this a little while ago but I found pork pies for sale online. I was really excited (I know, small things please small minds) and was planning on ordering half a dozen before the weather got too cold. They are not Melton Mowbray, they are Peter’s. I thought that was an Aussie firm but it’s Welsh and they are offered by the British Corner Shop for delivery worldwide. When I decided to see how much they would cost including delivery, entered my country and amount required I think you know what happened next. Not available in your country! Arrrgghh!
No, I won’t get frustrated. I may make my own if I can but first it has to be sausages. Any volunteers to hold the “snake” for me while I crank the handle?
I tried making bread again last night. Although I was having peppers for dinner I thought perhaps I might have toast and marmalade for breakfast this morning. I have a habit of guessing quantities when cooking, the only measuring devices I have ever had here being a couple of graduated beakers, however the new oven came with electronic scales capable of weighing up to 5kg. Quite what ingredient I will ever need to weigh at 10lbs I have no idea but I thought for once I would follow the instructions from the bread maker slavishly.
I wasn’t too concerned about wasting the flour because when I am paid I will find bread flour and the all purpose will be relegated to things like thickening or making a sauce for macaroni cheese etc. The last three efforts (bread, pitta and rolls) had produced respectively a breeze block, cardboard envelopes and cricket balls so I needed to find out if it was me, the flour or the recipe.
Well it isn’t me!
When it first came out of the machine the crust was lovely and crunchy and it felt soft to the squeeze. I had high hopes for breakfast this morning.
It was almost eleven when I got out of bed, no idea why as I retired before midnight. Well I have a bit of an idea, my skin has become so incredibly dry since arriving here in this arid climate that whenever the bedding touches my back it itches like fury and wakes me up often. Plus I think I have elderly upstairs neighbours who make their breakfast fresh, early and the chopping is quite loud in my bedroom.
Nonetheless, for once I thought I could face eating a morning meal as the plan was to go to BHG. Of late I have been hungry when getting off the bus and there is an underground food hall where you can get anything from hotpots to dumplings to sushi. The food is cheap and I have been eating at a table near a small outlet which does assorted dishes ready to eat (including sweet pork!) and one of the girls who works there is (yes you guessed!) rather comely. It normally costs me 11y for two dishes and rice - I told them I didn’t want their flavoured water (their version of soup) but just in case I get overlooked for my pay on Monday I am determined to eke out what I have to last until Tuesday. 11y may not be much but it would certainly feed me for a day at the local noodle place. In fact it will tonight because ultimately I abandoned the idea of shopping and might go tomorrow instead. That way I might treat myself to a pizza, I would make my own if I had cheese.
Anyway, the crust on the loaf had softened after a night in a plastic bin. I cut two slices and yes, it was soft. But it was STILL far too dense. It filled a hole but that’s as far as it went. I have to get this right and soon. Often I am happy to simply have beans on toast, rarebit or a sandwich but the bread around here is execrable. I will succeed!
So in an hour or so I will go and have some noodles (maybe the provincial speciality, beef noodles) and I will risk the wrath of Muhammad or Allah by taking a beer in with me. Previously I have used a hip flask and they must surely know I don’t have orange juice in it but being so blatant may be a beer too far! I will of course ask first AND take the flask to be safe.
From 28C yesterday we have dropped dramatically to 16C today and for the rest of the holiday it is set to be no higher. I checked on Chizhou and the lucky swines are ten degrees higher - mind you they are STILL a foreign English teacher short. I know I have mentioned it a few times and you may think I care.
I do!
I can’t remember if I mentioned this a little while ago but I found pork pies for sale online. I was really excited (I know, small things please small minds) and was planning on ordering half a dozen before the weather got too cold. They are not Melton Mowbray, they are Peter’s. I thought that was an Aussie firm but it’s Welsh and they are offered by the British Corner Shop for delivery worldwide. When I decided to see how much they would cost including delivery, entered my country and amount required I think you know what happened next. Not available in your country! Arrrgghh!
No, I won’t get frustrated. I may make my own if I can but first it has to be sausages. Any volunteers to hold the “snake” for me while I crank the handle?
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