Sausage making. Definitely NOT for the first-timer!
I can only blame myself for not carrying out research first. I opened a packet and my immediate thought was “what the hell did I buy?” for I was confronted by a tangled mess of what can only be described as looking like someone had ripped up an old shirt into tiny ribbons and then covered the jumble with rock salt. No way were these sausage casings. I threw the knotty mass away.
Then, I certainly should have done this first because I fully expected tubes that were ready for immediate use, and only then, did I do my homework on the internet. They are supposed to be soaked in water for twelve hours!
Luckily I bought three packets and they are cheap. Whilst I remain unconvinced that they will actually transform into something remotely like sausage skins, I shall soak them overnight and see what transpires in the morning. If they do, I reckon there’s about half a mile of the stuff and no way do I have anywhere near enough mince to fill them all.
I have a feeling this is either going to be a complete waste of time or a very steep learning curve. It would have helped if the packaging had instructions in English or even if I had asked one of the girls to translate the Chinese last night. Or I had checked first online. Idiot.
The mince will not be wasted, I can use it for anything such as Bolognese, lasagne, burgers or even skinless bangers but oh boy, I seem to have chosen something that’s even less straightforward than I had suspected!
Sunday 23rd 1630
Well the two girls had something else to occupy them today so they made their excuses regarding not coming this evening to sample my ham. Not a problem, it has only been curing for four days and can sit in the fridge a lot longer than that.
So this morning I showered and then sat at my laptop - well, in between having to get up and reboot the router in the living room with irksome regularity, the internet is now a complete joke - and trying to think of excuses as to why I shouldn’t take a stab at sausage making. After some time I realised I had no excuse, I had no intention of going to town, it was now or never.
Anyone who has ever done it will either know exactly what I am saying or label me a complete dolt but Jesus, what a bloody job!
The worms I had left soaking overnight were still the same size, except they were now extremely slippery. Armed with my manual mincer, I tried the free nozzle that came with the skins. Far too big, good job my machine came with one, albeit shorter.
First things first: mix up the mince with some salt, pepper and sage, adding some water as a binding agent. I didn’t want to be too adventurous with herbs and spices on my virginal attempt.
Then the fun part, trying to find the hole in the skin and actually threading it onto the nozzle! That’s no mean feat when your fingers and the skin are both greasy. Eventually after much cursing and many dark thoughts of never trying this again, I managed to pop the end on. Then it was a case of getting the rest of the skin loaded on the nozzle ready for the hoped-for ejaculations of stuffing. In my youth of course there was the occasional hasty fumbling due to ardour but by God condoms were an awful lot easier than trying to coax pig’s intestines onto a nozzle. And I wasn’t anywhere near as excited.
Ok, ready to go. Plop a handful of the mixture into the hopper and start cranking. I watched, pleased, as the skin started to fill, only to realise all I was doing was turning it into a balloon made of animal product. I tried pushing the meat down by hand to no effect and anyway I didn’t fancy losing my fingers. I needed a tamper, but what to use? After experimenting with various kitchen implements I found the best I could - the plastic pepper jar I had just emptied into the mixture. Not ideal but with much coaxing it produced meat at the business end.
The easiest part was surprisingly regulating the rate at which the skin slid off so I was rather pleased with myself. Knotting the ends was problematic simply because of slippery everything but twisting them into recognisable sausages was astonishingly easy - see photos. Nestling in my fridge currently sit 17 bangers. No idea what they will taste like but after the sheer effort I put in I am praying they will cook well when I pluck up the courage to do so.
No idea if there are in fact any sausage makers out there but if there are I would be grateful if someone could tell me how long I can leave the unused skins in the bowl of water which they currently call home? I don’t want to waste them and will probably buy a shedload more mince later in the week, possibly setting half of Wednesday aside for manufacturing. If they taste ok then I reckon if I make a batch a week I might just have enough in the freezer to do a class Christmas party at mine.
Of course the natural result of my labours is that I have absolutely no desire to do any cooking whatsoever this evening and so I am consigned to my Sunday dinner consisting of cheese and biscuits. Now, I wonder if I can get the internet working so I can post this…..
No comments:
Post a Comment