The first time we had rehearsals the studio was empty and eventually another two acts turned up. Yesterday was entirely different. When we got there the place was heaving. Unbeknown to me, this was to be a full rehearsal of the entire show. Not only that, every seat was occupied by parents, friends or family of those taking part, many of whom are child dancers.
Stage fright is not something I suffer from but I will admit to a twinge of cock-up fright - ie me buggering it up. If nothing else, I will look the part, for my and Wolfgang’s tang suits were brought. Light navy blue jacket and trousers, the latter being elasticated but the former equipped with some form of toggle which utterly defeated me so I had to get the girls to “do me up” (and afterwards undo me!).
Once the rehearsals started Mulan was like a puppy on a polished toilet seat. With dismay she suddenly realised she had forgotten her phone and, being unable to take photos, she borrowed a phone to call a friend to bring one to her. Seeing her unbounded joy at being part of the spectacle I informed Sally and her friend Molly that I really, really want Mulan and her sister to be able to come to the big night when they actually film it for broadcast. I don’t care if they have to stand, I would just like to give them a happy experience, given the terrible life they have had.
It turned out there are 14 acts in the show, of which we are tenth. In the Chinese programme we are billed as Steve from England and Wolfgang from Germany - good to see they got the order correct even if it was only because they went alphabetically both in name and country!
When our turn came there was little time to do anything other than observe the “boss” until he got to the bit where we follow in somewhat poor synchronisation. I reckon we are on stage for all of two minutes but our small contribution seemed to go without a hitch. Once the rehearsals had finished, the producer and director both made extended speeches critiquing the acts and making suggestions for improvement. At one point Sally and Molly broke off conversation with me in order to hear what they were going to say about our “performance”. Either they are both lying or the show officials are being kind to foreigners because they never mentioned anything wrong with our bit.
Before that though, we were going to be taken to the Sichuan restaurant. I had requested it rather than back to school because I didn’t want to cook and wanted to take Mulan for dinner. Because Mulan was so engrossed in the show I asked if we could wait until it finished and they agreed. Now. I had noticed a heavy police presence in the building, not just police but by their uniforms they were SWAT teams if the back patches were to be believed.
Of course at my age ALL policemen look young but some of these looked as if they could be students in my university. Seeing as they were one of the acts they simply had to be actors and actresses. When they had done their turn and were leaving, I said to one of the girls, they ARE actors, aren’t they? She didn’t know so I asked her to ask them. Her calls of “Ni hao” went completely ignored, so I strode over to one of the stragglers and tapped him on the shoulder so the question could be asked. They in fact are genuine SWAT police! Presumably that also means the assault rifles they were carrying are also real but hopefully minus ammunition.
I invited both Sally and Molly to join us for dinner. Sally declined as she had to go and take her daughter to evening class but Molly agreed. She is a delightful lass (and I am sorry now that I never took my camera but that was because I thought it would be the same as last time) and her English is very good. She scored 7.0 in her IELTS test, which is enough to get her into any university abroad (and if I am right she currently teaches at No. 3 middle school here) and she is vacillating between Oz and Kiwi. Based purely on personal opinion I advised Kiwi - cheaper and far more relaxed. I hope she gets an opportunity to go to either, she will make friends wherever she goes.
We had a nice meal at the Sichuan place (once again I ordered far too much and once again when I presented my discount vouchers the bloody things had expired - why can’t they use the English dating system instead of the Yank one???) and Mulan, when she realised the lateness of the hour, suddenly rushed off to teach her two students, leaving us alone until a colleague of Molly’s arrived. Then it was time to leave, toting the bag with my new Sunday best within. Mind you, the trousers don’t have flies…..
This morning I took Mulan for a Mcbreakfast. The bus stopped to pick up a reasonably young woman not long after we left and she came and sat in front of me, putting what looked like a bundle of cloth on the seat in front. No problem with that of course because the bus wasn’t full. It did though become standing room only a bit later. A girl boarded, saw what she thought was an empty seat, approached and on seeing the bundle, gave a despairing look and went and stood. I thought this was unbelievable and incredibly selfish on the part of the woman in front and said so to Mulan. I think she knew I was going to be a terrible foreigner and she was right. I made the woman move the bundle, after all, she could put it on her lap or on the floor so why should someone have to stand? Embarrassed into it, she did so and I indicated to the standing girl she now had a seat. To my amazement the other woman stood in front of the seat she had placed the bundle on! Nonplussed I asked Mulan to ask her why she didn’t put it on the deck. The reason? It was a curtain and it was still damp from washing! She was quite happy to see someone stand for half an hour because she was taking her laundry home without a bag. Eventually what little brain she possesses worked out that she could in fact sit in the seat and balance the curtain on the rail in front. Doubtless she will have gone home and related a tale of the barbarian ogre on the bus.
Mulan really doesn’t like anything sweet and grimaced when she tried the strawberry jam on her muffin. Next time I think she will be better off having a sausage and egg combo but in fairness it was her first time in McDonald’s. Afterwards we had a spare key cut for when her sister arrives and then went to RT Mart and caught the bus home. I was knackered but still took Pepsi out, going to the local supermarket for liquids at the same time. It looks as if today was their last and so I took all the remaining cans of my preferred pijou and then after some unintelligible cajoling and goodwill on my part, their entire remaining stock of medicine wine/gutrot. Saves them having to carry it to storage and I will drink it anyway but God it was heavy carrying it upstairs.
For three days now an e-bike has been parked and covered up in “my” space, causing problems when I want to charge mine as my extension isn’t that long. It hasn’t moved, ergo the idiot who owns it has left for the duration and in typical Chinese fashion has not only had no consideration for others but alarmed the damned thing as well, which means when you try to move it the back wheel locks. It has now been dragged elsewhere (I did get puffed out) and if the mood so takes me, over the course of the holiday I may well move it a bit at a time to somewhere they can’t see when they return and they will think it has been stolen, probably in the adjacent section.
After that I simply had to sleep and earlier I went to the office for what transpires will be my last ale there for a while, they will finish up at close of business tonight. Tomorrow the hunt will be on for a temporary alternative dog friendly watering hole.
Here is a photo, sadly taken on a phone from a distance, of us “doing our thing”. I am the fat one on the left.
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