Friday 8th January, 2016                                1440

Exactly one month before the Chinese new year and five days before the Nanjing trip, which should have been a grand tour of China and the magical world of the ice festival.

Cauliflower cheese with Emmental? Don’t try it. Bland. So much so it is hard to discern whether in fact any cheese is involved. Perfectly edible though, seeing as I used pasta, mushrooms and whizzed up some stale bread for crumbs but definitely not something I will make again unless I have that prince of cheeses, cheddar. I may as well have used Cow&Gate cheese triangles for all the cheesiness there was, in fact only the addition of parmesan saved it from being a cross between a 70s school dinner and modern day hospital food. Not all was lost though, Joan learnt the English word for cauliflower because hitherto she only knew what it was in Chinese.

Last night I saw her briefly when she came to shower and sling some clothes in the washing machine, promising to return at midday today to hang them up but knowing full well I would do it even though I was tired to the core.

I went to bed last night at a sensible time because I needed to be up at eight, Helen was collecting me from south gate at 0920 for the kindergarten thing. Now I understand that getting older entails the odd nightly wake up for the toilet but why, when I have something on in the morning, do I wake up an hour or less before the alarm is due to go off and then can’t nod off again? At least that is, until the alarm does go off just when I am about to fall into the abyss? Twenty years ago it would never have happened but now I find myself actually looking forward to remaining alive until retirement age when every day is Sunday!

I hauled my weary carcase off the mattress and performed my ablutions. Admittedly a shower always rejuvenates me but only to a certain extent. Then it was time to check emails and suchlike and generally try to pucker up for the morning ahead. At 0905 Helen called me.

Oh no.

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s people who gave you a time to meet and they then arrive early and let you know they are waiting. Being English and a stickler for punctuality, in China I have now gotten into the habit of simply saying that I will be there at the agreed time and not hurry unduly. God bless her, Helen was just checking I would be there at the appointed hour, although I did assume she and her husband were waiting. They could wait because I wasn’t ready.

I parked my bike and exited south gate at precisely 0920 as agreed.

No Helen.

Bloody hell, had they gone to west gate in error? I called. She had in fact simply called en route to check I would be there on time and in fact a minute later they arrived to collect me.

Now this kindergarten has less than thirty kids yet outside where the event was to be held there was a posse of parents and children which numbered around a hundred and fifty. Right. This was a show to see how well the little ones are taught English to lure other parents into enrolling their own offspring. I have no problem with that, good business practice but of course my image will already be plastered all over the internet. I must remember to head Antony off at the pass this evening in case the new Dean catches sight. I wasn’t employed, simply held up some flashcards for the children to shout out what they knew in English and Chinese.

Granted I was treated to a free lunch afterwards and a very nice one it was too. Unusually, instead of being given beer, because I also said I liked Jing Jo, I was given a half bottle of that to wash down the meal. Really good company (I think there were fourteen of us including three young children) and I had been picked up and later dropped off back at school.

How these people find the restaurants is beyond me. I would have walked past without even knowing it was an eatery but apparently among the locals it is famous for good food and reasonable prices, and in fairness it WAS busy. About a hundred yards from where McDonald’s was until recently and I had no idea. A bit like Dong Rong.

Anyway, a five and a half year mystery was finally cleared up over said lunch. All the time here I have been plagued by hearing my name called, wheeling around, only to find nobody was calling me. Countless attempts at finding out what people were saying quite loudly and which sounded like “Steve” have in the past elicited nothing.

Now I know.

Doubtless I have got the spelling wrong but the headmistress of the kindergarten uttered it in conversation with one of her teachers at the lunch table. I was determined to finally get to the bottom of it. It took some time because she categorically denied saying “Steve” but Helen helped me out and the question that has plagued me for more than a lustrum was finally answered. Why had I spent years turning my head because I thought people were calling my name?

They were saying “su dee” which of course when spoken quickly sounds like “Steve”. “Su dee” is local dialect for “yes”!!!!!! No wonder I heard it so often!” At last I know, I feared I may go to my grave never finding out. To me “yes” is de de de, du ah or du ay so this was news to me.

Learn Chinese? Really? With so many different ways of saying the same thing? And I thought English was complicated!

Anyway, job done and I can now go back to sleeping without an alarm until next Wednesday when we have to get up at a sensible time for the bullet train to Nanjing, when doubtless my blog will contain references to dinners in restaurants and how tired my legs are from the sightseeing Joan will want to see. I have rationed her to two scenic/tourist spots a day - I know I can’t handle any more than that!