Sunday 21st August, 2016                      1640

I’m not panicking - honestly!

With no news on my papers and merely advice to “wait” I am now beginning to wonder for how long. Certainly I can leave China next Monday for Hong Kong and stay there for 6 months (if I had the money!), which is one of the benefits of a British passport. However I would really like to move in to my new home on Saturday (well I hope it will be my home) and so the way I see it, the latest I should do the visa run is Wednesday. Even then, being no spring chicken and unable to take in a couple of hours on trains and subways coupled with three hour flights all at once, the minimum timespan is three days even if I make it to HK in one hit.

I suppose there’s always Outer Mongolia.

Last night I was stupid. I ate again in the office. Worse, I ordered “dry pot chips” and braised pork and peppers. I would never even have finished the “chips” (which were fried potato slices) which were slightly spicy and nice but when the portion of pork and peppers, which I had asked to be really small, came, I realised my error. They have no concept of small portions or indeed charging less. I am not doing that again.

In fact tonight I am going to the supermarket to buy some cheese triangles and crackers along with paper plates. That will do for my dinner, especially if I buy some grapes to go with it. Why pay 40-50y for food you can’t even eat half of? Also last night I saw a street stall which opens in the evenings and I observed a girl buying a Chinese hamburger. Nothing like a western one, they consist of a weird sort of steamed bun (which is actually quite nice), thin slices of pork, fried lettuce and two sauces (one hot, one not) although I never saw whether the girl had a fried egg with it. The problem is, it’s directly opposite the office and despite the fact I go there twice a day for three bottles a time (the expensive stuff - Huang He which I have never encountered before but is nice, at 8y a bottle) I would feel guilty because they would think I didn’t like their food. I do! I just need someone else with me to eat most of it!

During my time here, often my students used to ask me if I was lonely. With a smile I always replied that I was never lonely, I had the internet and my imagination and memories and that was true. And in Chizhou of course I actually had students after a while and before that staff members and campus shopkeepers to interact with. Here on the other hand, aside from the night of arrival and the following morning, I have had absolutely no contact with the school. I haven’t even seen where I will teach. It feels like abandonment but then I have arrived rather early.

Worse, I have encountered as many people who speak a bit of English as I did in Nanning, which was just a handful but at least they worked on the hotel reception so I saw them every day. Here even when I speak my limited Putonghua they still don’t bloody understand! And I keep getting asked why don’t I learn Chinese? That’s why. I will say it again, I really miss Joan. I cherished her more than she ever knew when she was around and if she were here I would not dwell so much on the possible disaster which looms.

It probably won’t and all will be well but uncertainty is the mother and father of nightmares.

Have I gone sightseeing? No. I suppose I should even though if I end up staying here I will get to know the city well enough over time. The buses here, unlike Chizhou, are 1y a pop all year and they do have aircon. I suppose I could hop on a bus, any bus, and see where it took me and then simply get the same number back. In fact I might do that tomorrow afternoon, no laundry to do as I washed my clothes earlier. You never know, I might find cheap cigars!  And I will be sure to remember the number of the bus…..