Thursday, 25 October 2018


Wednesday 24th October, 2018 2330

Living in China means living on sand dunes – ever-shifting, nothing what it seems and nothing can be depended upon.

After a period of stability, comes the turmoil.

Firstly, apparently a cable burnt out on Sunday afternoon resulting in the complete loss of internet. How long does it take to replace a cable? Well in this case, three days. We were offline until late this morning. I watched every programme I had downloaded on iPlayer (and there were a lot), idiotic “chickflicks” the Americans left on my computer when they were swapping amongst themselves and I was seriously considering staying in an hotel tonight. Luckily, it came back.

I think I mentioned I bought a fan heater for my campus office last week. This evening I had a text from Janet instructing me to turn it off when I leave in case of fire. Incensed (no pun intended) I responded that I did, ditto taking the kettle off “warm” mode and if it was found switched on then A.N.Other did it. That really cheered me up.

Half an hour later I was told I had been booted out of my classroom. In fairness it is the teacher training room and to be honest I couldn't care less which room I teach in within reason.

I was offered a choice between the classroom I used to have (perfect, next door to my office) or 102. My office is on the 4th floor. I'm 62 not 26 so unless I am suddenly to become an Olympic athlete lesson breaks and cups of tea or coffee would suddenly not exist for me. 102 is out. The old classroom is great except I know damned well they haven't fixed the computer. It probably just needs a new sound card and they've only had almost a year to sort it.

The choice was teaching on the ground floor with an office on the 4th or in a classroom with a computer I can't use.

Some readers may think I am being irrational. Neither is acceptable. If I teach down the bottom I get no tea breaks and unless I want to mount the stairs multiple times I will have nowhere to leave my laptop and belongings safe. No. If I teach upstairs I have no computer. They have had 10 months.

I am sleeping on an email to send in the morning although I have already indicated my time here may now be limited. Let me put it in context.

I came here to teach students wishing to study for Masters in Cyprus and did so for one term. Most of them were dreadful at English and although I led the horses to water I could not get many to drink. My assessment of them was later borne out by the university in Cyprus and I was vindicated. Since then I have only taught large classes of deadheads destined to become nursemaids to anklebiters. They neither need, want or have any interest in speaking English so I have no leverage discipline-wise. I could spend entire periods smashing mobile phones if I so chose, such is the interest they show in whatever I try to do. Even activities saw 85% of them not taking part.

So yes, whilst the campus has hitherto treated me well, I have been wading through purgatory as a teacher and I never started teaching to be one of those that simply delivered lectures in a monotone. I want to make a difference. The way I do that here on the little campus is by carrot and stick. Half lesson, half film. I cannot do two periods with the same class where I have to speak 99% of the time. I will not. I am better than that. But I am not so good as to be able to resurrect the dead from a cemetery of students, which is what they give me. I need a damned computer.

So I am issuing an ultimatum in the morning. Loyalty in China seems to count for nothing. It counted for nowt in Chizhou for Kevin and me, they still sacked us for being 60, they are treating him like dirt now in Huangshan and unless Janet is mangling what is supposed to be said to me (wouldn't be the first time) then it is happening to me now. I am only still here out of what seems now to be misplaced loyalty. Watch this space for updates.

On a brighter note, Marlow Monday went well, the beef bootleather I made a stew from turned out to be melt in your mouth after five hours on the hob (suet dumplings were awful as the Atora was out of date though!) and amazingly the whole mandarin cake was edible. Last night Annie brought Jody, her Chinese teacher, for pasta bolognese and tomorrow evening Annie is popping in for a burger and chips. Well, I need to dust off the old air-fryer again to try and make chips.

I won't be investing in a new deep fat one if I will ultimately be moving on, now will I?

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