Friday 28th September, 2012         2230

Well my day off yesterday was spent doing very little. I had gone to bed late as I had made no arrangements with anyone until the afternoon, yet at ten thirty there was knocking on my door. It was Joanna, early for my revision of her speech for the contest. My throat and nasal passages were almost closed and the former was on fire - far from clearing up my cold had got much worse overnight. However, I am always there whenever possible for my students and indeed, for other majors who seek help.

I questioned the wisdom of the content of the speech (deaths of loved ones) but was assured she would not become emotional during the delivery, so as it was her speech I tidied it up to the best of my ability and she left a couple of hours later. I felt like death myself so never ventured out until early evening with the dogs and with the intention of perhaps seeing if the new place with pizza and fries in pictures displayed at the entrance really did western food. In the end I didn’t bother, came back to the campus shops, bought my necessaries and ordered skewers for me and a load for the animals with no spice. Cost a fortune but I didn’t feel like cooking and wanted an early night.

Shortly after ten I hit the hay and at six thirty this morning I felt dreadful. I really didn’t want to teach but did so, taking comfort that at ten I had a four and a half hour break during which I could - and did - go back to bed. The first round of the contest didn’t start until half past three so by wrapping up my afternoon class a few minutes early I was able to flit between the two rooms it was being held. I couldn’t see Joanna, sent a message and was replied with “I failed. I am sorry”.

Now if my students enter a competition I am proud of them for having the courage to do so and they should certainly not ever apologise for not winning - not to me anyway - and I replied to that effect. I was stunned to then find blame being apportioned to me for putting her under great pressure to take part! I did no such thing and although I would draw the line at calling her a liar I certainly don’t recall her ever saying she didn’t want to enter. Apparently my encouragement to do well put her under enormous stress because she is scared witless of public speaking. I see no reason to apologise for trying to do what teachers should and encourage students to be the best they can but I do regret that she felt she had to do it so she wouldn’t let me down. No doubt after the holiday we can have a heart to heart. Speaking to Kevin earlier this evening - he was there for her speech - he told me it was dire and asked if I had actually checked her speech because the whole thing was morbid! Delivered with feeling it shouldn’t have been and I was put on the defensive, having to assert that I did indeed express my doubts but they were brushed aside.

Speaking of holidays, that’s me off until a week Monday! I have no plans other than to rest and shake this illness along with enjoying what seems to be the ending of the warm and the start of the cold weather. It was short sleeves today but this evening on the bike I needed my jacket. Again I had no desire to check out the western place, instead shortly I will cook some frozen seafood and cheese spring rolls - interesting combination - I bought months ago in Lottemart. The bike is on charge and if I feel a bit better tomorrow I will pop into town to the bank, shops and some lunch.

Saturday 29th       1100

Thankfully feeling a little improved this morning and even got up at eight thirty when I had no need. I forgot to mention  that yesterday Kevin went to Prof Fang in order to say that the three of us westerners were disappointed not to have been able to attend their dinner on Wednesday. I am glad he did, for he found out that when the Vice Chancellor asked where on earth we were he was simply told we were “busy”!!!! No mention of the fact that the foreign affairs department had as usual treated us as an afterthought and expected us to come running like obedient puppies, so he explained the reason why and the fact we were given just two hours notice, which for Prof Fang put a different slant on things. She said she will make a point of going to the VC to make him aware because as it stood he will have been treating it as a snub. Kevin made sure to put forward that we felt “disappointed” (although I would have used “disgusted”) that we were considered too trivial to be advised of events until the eleventh hour and that he was sure that in contrast the Chinese staff were told days in advance. Pity he never asked if we could still have our boxes of moon cakes though! I still have a couple though, Joanna gave me a little gift - before the competition and heaping blame on me afterwards, I would add!

Shower time now and then I will ride to town for a couple of hours.

1700

Hahaha! After I had I written my comment about the moon cakes, showered and Kevin arrived for a chat than there was a knock at my door. It was the Chinese French teacher carrying two large boxes of them that were supposed to be presented to us at the meal!

I went to town and had to wait for ages in the bank (I think it’s time I got the school to pay my wages into the account that has an ATM card) as there was only one teller working. I was so long I smoked a cigar outside and by chance Sonya emerged from the side on her way to catch a bus to her home town for the holiday. During our talk I learnt something new - the bank never closes, not even for Chinese new year which amazed me.

2200

It transpires that Joanna finished high enough to go to the final for the school to see who represents us at the provincial finals but not unexpectedly she has told me she won’t attend. It’s a shame as I had high hopes for her but I assume stage fright is awful if you suffer from it.

I think tomorrow night is organised, Kevin is trying to find a “date” so he can come with Kiki and I to check out the new restaurant sporting the pizza photo outside the door - if it is just Chinese we will probably go elsewhere but hopefully not - and then upstairs to the bar with pool tables. Well, you have to do something on mid-autumn day don’t you? Whether I will do anything special for China’s birthday on Monday remains to be seen.

Dogs are currently not my favourite animals. I just noticed Pepsi has a recurrence of mange on her chin and forelegs so I have to start treating that - if it doesn’t clear up completely then I will have to take her for a jab at the vets. Robin is sailing extremely close to the wind. She refused to come home last night and thus far is doing likewise tonight. I don’t care if she wants to freeze to death (the nights are getting chilly now) but the barking is bound to attract complaints. Worse, she is getting perilously close to actually biting someone riding a bike or simply running past. If that happens there is no question she will be destroyed. She has never been maltreated, ok she has never been trained properly but it was the same with Piggy and he was loved by all. She has the hugest amount of territory to roam at will yet persists in turning ever more feral. I can see she will be the cause of her own doom one way or another.

Anyway, supper tonight is red wine and a couple of moon cakes - here is a photo of the gift box received today. Night folks.

Wednesday 26th September, 2012       1240

It’s a really warm day today and I started regretting agreeing to take this morning’s class outside in the sunshine. Robin has cottoned on that we do that sometimes and in the past couple of days decided to join the class although thankfully she doesn’t interfere.

The Japan/China dispute appears to be escalating a touch, with Taiwanese vessels now having turned up at the disputed islands as well. China has commissioned its first aircraft carrier, yet the last thing I read about it would be that this wouldn’t happen for another year or so, I wonder if she will set sail there too. The thing is, Japan in my opinion are shooting themselves in the wallet because China is their biggest export market and nobody here is buying their goods any more. Their car plants here are stopping production three days early for the holiday and will be on reduced output afterwards so that has to hurt. And surely the Japanese must know there is still incredible hatred for them here because the Chinese will not forgive or forget what they did in Nanking.

I have three baguettes baking in preparation for tonight and a while ago I went to borrow Kevin’s large chopping board. He’s not a happy bunny because he thinks the chow mien he got from a campus restaurant is to blame for him having been on the throne all night. In fairness, when he was eating it he did say it tasted as if they had used old oil so maybe this will teach him not to eat it if it happens again!

2400

Ah……..

Herein follows a tale which illustrates precisely the esteem the foreign teachers are accorded by the administration staff in educational establishments. I hasten to add that the students and Chinese teaching staff are  in no way included in my opinions - merely those in admin who think they are better than everybody - including the students who without which, they would not have a job.

At 1530 Kevin and Olivier received calls advising them that the university was throwing a big meal and we were invited. They always do just before the mid-autumn festival and we have been asking when it would be but without getting any answers. I received no such call but mine was supposed to be relayed to me by Kevin. Technically I am not to blame!

As I have already said, tonight I was cooking and the other two westerners had bought expensive wines and all three of us had invited favoured students to dine with us. And at three thirty we were “invited” to attend a “big” dinner two hours later with the leaders of the college. I doff my cap to Kevin for speaking for us both in telling them to piss off and doff it a little higher to Olivier who, as the new boy, would surely have been guest of honour for showing solidarity.

Time and time again we have told the Chinese that as westerners if we make arrangements we do not alter them for a better invitation and to give us notice. Apparently this huge banquet was decided on only today in the mid afternoon. Really? A restaurant catering for a table of perhaps thirty people in an enormous private room on the spur? Give us credit!

So guess what? The three foreigners entertained three students to my cooking and Kevin and Olivier’s wines instead. How dare the school think we are serfs willing to drop everything at a moments notice? I was never going to tell Petty who was really looking forward to western food (even though as it turns out she wasn’t too keen on it) that she was not coming. Neither were the other chaps. I can’t speak for them, but I am incensed because we have been trying to find out for a fortnight and this simply had to have been planned at least a week in advance.

I gather the leaders were disappointed at our non-attendance. Well, tough - we are pissed off at the treatment we received which shows no common courtesy. Professor Fang apparently was there so it will be interesting to see if anything is said - I hope it will but Kevin thinks it won’t.

Life is never always rosy wherever you may be, but common courtesy costs nothing and all we ask is a little notice.

Anyway, I took some photos for your enjoyment and even managed to bag one of the ladies from 303 and 305 as they were gassing in the corridor.

Monday 24th September, 2012      1500

How to utterly confuse me in a few simple steps: give me classes I teach four lessons to one week and two the next and omit to tell me they are not interchangeable! I went to this afternoon’s room at two thirty to find no students. It’s not unusual to find freshmen classes are cancelled in the early days and the only one not told is the foreign teacher, but when I asked the class monitor she said I only teach them once for two lessons this week - on Wednesday! You would think they would arrange it so I had another of the classes doing alternate weeks instead but I am rapidly forming the impression I may well be teaching 20 lessons one week and only 12 the next! That’s great if I know which ones not to turn up to!!! Tomorrow morning I think I will text all the other monitors to try to make sense of it because it’s a pain in the proverbial going to the classroom only to have to go home again.

2245

I actually got to the bottom of my timetable conundrum this afternoon, I asked Cinny to explain it. I have 20/16 lessons depending on which week but at least now I know which two double periods not to bother turning up to. What a cock-eyed way of doing things, which wouldn’t be so bad if I was on QQ (Chinese instant messenger) and could read Mandarin because that’s how they tell all the locals - with a block message. Don’t bother telling the outsider!

I went downtown for dinner with Linda and she took me to a hotpot place (she seems to love her hotpots) in the commercial centre. It was very nice and despite my protestations she insisted on paying yet again, however there was an ulterior motive. She had brought along her draft speech for the upcoming competition and wanted me to amend it and offer suggestions for improvement.

Sadly - and most unfair on Linda - my mind was elsewhere. I won’t hide the fact that I care an awful lot about Joanna and last night I hardly slept for worrying about this job she is doing. I had visions of her being a “hostess” rather than waitress and the not knowing was eating me up. I knew where she worked was either in or near to the commercial centre so I asked Linda if there was a club there. Yes she said, do you want to go there? I told her I did and also the reason and asked her what the place was like. Dancing girls and not safe for young females alone was the response. Oh Jesus.

But we went, I think she wanted to but with the safety of my company. Definitely not my cup of tea even thirty years ago with loud music, flashing lights and fake smoke and after she made enquiries of one of the waiters it was ascertained Joanna didn’t work there. I suggested we leave as I knew the drinks would cost an arm and a leg but Linda was determined to stay awhile and sneaked off to pay 300y for a table, some fruit and nibbles and a pitcher of beer which had less alcohol in it than rainwater. I saw at least a dozen scantily and provocatively dressed girls, guessed what they were and found out the price is 500y for the night with one of them. Of  Joanna there was no sign and I was relieved but resigned to checking out where she did work by visiting other bars on different nights. Call it stalking if you will, but Chinese girls even at 21 are still not mentally adults and my concern is genuine. Linda enjoyed bopping to some mindless music for a time while I drank the jug of bathwater and then I suggested  we leave. She went to the loo so I waited in the lobby.

Then Joanna saw me, extremely surprised, and asked me what I was doing there. I could have lied but I told the truth - that I was looking for her. She enquired how I knew where she was working and I told her I didn’t, I would have looked in every bar until I found out. I think (and hope) she was taken aback in a good way by my display of care for her well-being. She says she will do the job for one or two months but no longer and after a fashion I can rest easier now. She works as a greeter on the door sometimes coupled with taking drinks to the private rooms where the wealthy sing karaoke and Sod’s law stated that when we went in she had to be doing something else so we missed her. I am not happy she works there or the hours she works but at least she is not in the thick of it and of course it is her life. If I could find her another job with better hours I would and although she is my favourite student I have taught I would feel the same about any of them. Maybe I’m becoming a grandfather to them all…….

Tuesday 25th      1315

Heavy day today with still four lessons to teach after lunch. Joanna sent me messages about the national speaking competition as she seems to be the last person to hear about it. She wants - and should - enter it so she came here an hour ago to discuss her speech. Unfortunately I am busy all day tomorrow but I have told her she can have my undivided attention for as long as she wants after her morning classes on Thursday to polish her up for the first heat on Friday.

Of course, we also discussed her job. It was the only one she could find and although she doesn’t need the money she wants to earn so as not to be too much of a burden on her family. Admirable of course, and now that she has explained she has three days free of lessons each week this semester I am happier knowing she shouldn’t neglect her studies. I would still rather she worked somewhere else but I can’t interfere.

2300

I had wanted a quiet evening but it saw Kevin, Olivier, Monsieur (the Chinese French teacher) and me going slightly off campus to the bar which has been opened by a teacher. Another free night as the owner gave the drinks gratis but somewhere we may use occasionally in future. The prices are a bit high at present and if the chap has any acumen he will lower them to attract more students because he could make a killing. Especially if he invests in a large fridge to be able to serve cold beer and an ice maker for the spirits he is stocking. No gin sadly but brandy, vodka and scotch were present. There are also half a dozen pool tables on which England trounced France five-nil despite them being almost the size of snooker tables, not level and with cushions it was impossible to get any angle off bar ninety degrees. Sadly we didn’t go until nearly nine so we stayed for ninety minutes and left - we all need sleep and I need to eat something today.

I want to be less tired tomorrow as I have baguettes to bake at lunchtime and then a meal to cook in the evening. So, lasagne shortly and bed by twelve thirty - I would hate to screw up Olivier’s first western Wednesday!

Sunday 23rd September, 2012       1630

Yesterday was the autumnal equinox so from now on this year it will only get colder and as I have said before, I am really not looking forward to winters any more. Mind you, summer this year wasn’t that hot, I think it only went over forty once so hopefully that augurs a mild winter along the lines of last year.

I read on a teacher chat site a thread entitled “exit strategy in case of war”. Unbelievable, and naturally started by American teachers. Some seem to be getting edgy about the latest spat with Japan and think it will erupt. Of course, America will be unable to resist butting in on the Japanese side so yes, IF it were to happen then Yanks would be as welcome here as a fart in a bathysphere. Kevin and I are of the opinion that it could only be beneficial because we could then concentrate on teaching the Chinese English instead of American.

I spent about three hours along with Kevin and Olivier on the foreign language lovers association recruitment stand, which was made more bearable by the provision of alcoholic cans. Kevin gets given coffee but they know better where I am concerned. I am still tired all the time so a weekend away from all forms of teaching has been welcome and indeed I only went (just) off campus yesterday to give the dogs a run. When I did I was approached by someone who said he managed a new bar above the new restaurants and said he would be honoured were I to pay a visit. I will because bars are almost non-existent here, I only know of three and have only been to one, normally I have to go to a restaurant and tell them I only want to drink.

At lunchtime today I went to town to shop for western Wednesday. This time I am doing chilli con carne and garlic bread for six. The good thing is, Olivier and Kevin will both bring wine so there should be ample, and Olivier has threatened to bring some camembert. I may have to produce some port! Anyway, I had lunch, shopped and headed back. Not far from the school there is “my” shortcut - the one where I saw the black snake recently. It was whilst trying to turn left onto the track that my blogs and my life could have easily - were it the case I didn’t check my mirrors - have ended.

I was aware of a car approaching from behind and some way back from that there was a panel van. After letting the car overtake I indicated left and adopted a central position in the road. I was indicating. I looked in my mirror and observed the van had not reduced speed in the slightest and was now in fact on the wrong side of the road. He had no intention of letting me turn. As he sped past a foot away I bellowed expletives and wished to God I had a Ferrari to go after him. I was absolutely and completely incensed and all I wanted to do was rip off his limbs one at a time.

What I did though, was take a mental note of his number (helpfully painted in large letters on the rear doors) and took the track, hoping he was going to campus. At the end of the track I spotted him going up the main road towards the west gate and prayed he would turn in. He did. Because of the speed humps I caught up with him near the shops but he was going to the student cafeteria. He spotted me in his side mirror and I could tell he was thinking “what the hell?” so I pointed at him in said mirror and shouted “Yes, you!” By the cafeteria he stopped and unfortunately for him the society recruitment stalls were still plying their trade and there were many students about. I think they were highly entertained by the abuse I heaped on this chap who never understood a word I said but can’t have failed to grasp I wanted to kill him, especially when I mimicked my hands around his throat. In fact he shit himself at that and tried to drive off, but stalled the engine. I laughed, shook my head in disgust and rode off leaving astounded students wondering what it was all about. Had I dismounted there was a real danger I would have dragged him from his cab and earned myself a deportation order. But I felt a lot better for it!  

2215

Thankfully Kevin just brought Robin home and saved me a trip downstairs to try and get her in. I need a decent sleep, not least because Linda invited me to dinner tomorrow night - she of the AK47 speech delivery - although last time it was me and her plus two of her friends and she footed the bill. Decency dictates that despite her being the inviter I really should pay, especially as it would appear it will be just the two of us. She wants to go for a hotpot at the commercial centre and I am now torn asunder. A huge part of me wants to do that and afterwards go to this bar Joanna is working at every bloody night to check it out because I worry about her but the rest of me says take Linda for a prawn hotpot. Maybe we can check out the bar later, I will see what she says. It took me ages to get through to her that we wouldn’t be taking the 29 bus because it is impossibly crowded now and I will take the bike with her as pillion. It will be better for her anyway because I can take her to her home downtown afterwards. We shall see what happens tomorrow, but for now, it won’t be long before I am in the land of nod.

Friday 21st September, 2012         1230

Well well well! This is a milestone indeed! This, folks, is my 500th blog.

Today got quite interesting about fifteen minutes into my first class. My phone rang and as I don’t answer it while teaching unless it is the college calling, I took it from my pocket, didn’t recognise the number and so cancelled it. I put my phone on the desk and returned to teaching, only for it to start ringing again. This time I simply hit the red button. Just as I started teaching again it rang for a third time! Obviously the caller wasn’t getting the message, so I snatched the phone up and snapped “I’m teaching!” into it. A woman on the other end then asked me why I wasn’t in class. I said I was and I was in room 204 because it had been changed on the website from 201. She ended the call and it was only then that I realised it was Prof Fang! A great way to ensure my contract gets renewed! Five minutes later she came to my class with a home teacher and called me outside. It turns out the alteration is not effective until next week (as nobody told me that part it is not my fault thank God) and so a class was waiting patiently for me up the corridor. Someone definitely dropped a ricket because had I gone to 201 the class in 204 would have been waiting in vain. If it was my fault I would have found out before the start of lessons because in all likelihood there would have been another teacher already there. Hopefully those I disappointed earlier are now my last class this afternoon. Never a dull moment here.

2245

An interesting day all round as it turned out. Much to my surprise my desperate ex student appears to now be sorted out with an apartment to rent and of course is now even more convinced I work miracles. I am pleased for her but at the same time have a different opinion considering she will be living in one of the new two bedroom places whilst I will not!

Earlier I decided I would eat at the sweet pork place so got the dogs downstairs and Pepsi on the bike. Just as I was leaving Olivier hailed me and asked if I was going for a beer. I said where I was going and asked if he would like to join me and he did, so off we went. Great for me because we westerners go Dutch and there was no need for me to get a doggy bag. I advised him western Wednesday was on for next week and that he could bring a student and I think he perhaps is looking forward to it. All meal I kept noticing a girl waiting in the restaurant kitchen watching us, who, every time I glanced at her gave me a wave and a smile. I guessed she was a student but not that her boyfriend was one of the cooks and she was waiting for him to finish work. Blow me if she didn’t come out just before the boyfriend, stop at our table and chat in French with my dinner companion - she is one of his students (I would suspect one of his best from the conversation they had which I couldn’t understand but from school days garnered the gist of). Well that little act earned her an invite as Olivier’s “date” and she will be there next week.

I have no idea what to make as yet, he makes his own pizzas so they are off for now in case they get compared, I was tending towards chilli yet he loves lasagne. I can’t make up my mind so will see who agrees to be my partner (I want them to have something they haven’t had before) prior to deciding - after all, what’s the point of being the commis chef if you can’t choose the menu?

I have heard nothing from the kids’ school yet despite my saying I needed to be notified at the latest by Thursday night so as far as I am concerned I have a free weekend - if I get asked to teach the answer will be an emphatic “no”. It may be of course that they don’t want me anyway but the owner is so disorganised when it comes to me - thinks I am Chinese and simply cancel arrangements at the eleventh hour for him - but it would be nice to receive a panicky text and send a flat refusal along with the reason.

Tuesday 18th September, 2012        1230

Now I’m really confused. I went to class this morning, started my “meet and greet” routine only to be stopped with the information we did all that yesterday! It turns out that I have them Monday and Tuesday one week, only Tuesday the next, then Monday/Tuesday etc. I get the feeling they have done this with all my classes and that is going to make it a devil to try to keep track of what I have covered with which class. It does explain why our workloads have shot up though.

I was quite pleased with them though, their pronunciation is better than I expected and they took to their first outdoor activity very well. Being the first time, their presentations were on the brief side, but I am sure in the weeks to come there will be occasions where we overrun.

1930

I am done in. Six lessons a day takes it out of you - your legs, your voice, your brain. It didn’t help that despite turning in early enough last night I had a fitful sleep. Christ knows how I will feel on Friday when I have to get up at six thirty and do the same.

My two classes this afternoon were 3 year students in a class of 40 (too many for my liking) followed by 4 year students numbering 30 which is more manageable. I suppose my tiredness is largely due to not being in a routine yet, and with a holiday approaching plus military training meaning for a fortnight I will be back to one class a week, I am unlikely to get into one before mid-October!

Wednesday 19th      1700

A bit easier today with just two classes, quite lively ones too. During the past couple of days I have had a few short conversations with Olivier and have quite taken to him. I think the reason I never saw much of him previously was because his wife and child were here, and also he has only been venturing to the shops to shop rather than drink or eat. That may well change now he knows Kevin and I often have an ale and a chat down there.

Vivian came with a friend to do my cleaning just now, as usual, being Chinese she was clueless and even thought mops worked when dry and the floor didn’t need to be swept prior to mopping. Bless them, eventually it got done - I had done the washing up - and they refused to take any money this time but will next time. Instead, I gave them some lovely just baked and still warm bread with butter and marmalade which they both pronounced “yummy”. I had baked it for my dinner tonight but now I am considering whether to go out instead. With a free day tomorrow I don’t need to retire early. I may just do that.

Thursday 20th    1645

Well I certainly haven’t done much writing lately! To be honest I have been too busy and shattered to do much at all this week. I never ate out last night in the end, Olivier stopped for a drink and a chat when I took the dogs out and a little later Kevin joined us so any thoughts of dinner completely disappeared to be replaced by the reality of a cheese and ham doorstep! I swear the only time I get properly full up here is western Wednesday!

Speaking of which, they have been scaled down to once a fortnight on grounds of both cost and the fact Kevin now teaches children every second week. Now that I am teaching on the day this term it suits me too. I am still tired today despite plenty of time in the sack last night - I would dearly love a siesta but daren’t because I wouldn’t sleep tonight. Not good with an early start and full day of teaching ahead.

I ventured downtown in the early afternoon, got money, meat and then grabbed a steak & dumpling sizzling platter so that later if I am peckish I will only need a snack. One of my old students, Eve, asked last week if I could provide a reference letter for use in her applications to UK universities. I agreed and a couple of days later duly emailed her a glowing report on her academic abilities which will serve her infinitely better than the self-penned and signed ones some students knock up in the name of Chinese teachers or professors which any western institution is going to spot as fake in seconds. She came a little while ago having printed my letter onto official paper and I had to sign fifteen of them, followed by the same number of envelopes which had to be signed over the seals! Good job I don’t charge.

With the mid-autumn and national day holidays being so close to each other this year we have one long break as opposed to two short but reading the website it appears everyone is off from Sunday 30th next weekend to the following Sunday. Confusingly it says we have to teach lessons on Saturday 29th for the classes we normally have on THURSDAY! No mention at all of Friday so it may well be we have to teach again on the Saturday after the break for that day. Kevin’s nose is out of joint because as I have no classes on Thursdays my holiday is a day longer than his - hehehe!

2030

I have had enough so after taking the mutts out I decided to come home early, watch a bit of George Gently and get another early one. Yesterday one of my old students who returned this semester for further education contacted me for a meeting. She is desperate to move out of the dormitory she was allocated as ever since her arrival the other five have treated her “like air”. She doesn’t know why and apparently it isn’t the Chinese way to confront them to force the issue. Can I find her a teacher willing to rent their campus apartment to her? Buggered if I know, although I do know students are doing precisely that, where the teacher lives downtown but still gets a low rent place in school and makes a few bob on the side. I feel sorry for the lass but all I can do is ask around - she seems to think I can work miracles and fix everything in a couple of hours. Sorry babes, but life isn’t like that.

Enough for now, see you soon.

Sunday 16th September, 2012         0010

I was done by just after eleven yesterday morning, just as well because I was tired, a quick shop for pig bones and trotters, a bit of lunch and then home for a nap. It was really annoying because I set the alarm for 90 minutes (didn’t want to spoil tonight’s sleep) yet I woke again after less than an hour. Still, no need to get up at any fixed time later and absolutely nothing to do except give the floor a clean and once done, call K to come and do my internet shopping for me.

We chatted by the shops in the evening and by chance Sky happened by. She hasn’t been to clean this week so naturally I asked her why not. She’s too busy this semester and so has to quit. That’s fine and the last thing I want to do is impede anyone’s studies, but two weeks ago I specifically asked her if she was carrying on and she informed me if she was packing it in she would give me notice! Guilt bested her because she agreed to continue until I find a replacement, although I said just this week will be fine and I will find another by the weekend. I can’t see a problem finding someone considering I will have at least 250 new faces to teach and the job takes no more than 90 minutes a week and pays treble what Lottemart does! Not only that, one of the perquisites is that whoever takes the post gets free conversational English lessons!

1530

A productive day so far. Internet shopping done apart from a couple of items K needs to research on her own laptop and a problem paying for it using mine for some unknown reason. I was going to order a case of tonic water so I could have a few G&Ts but the tonic cost more than a bottle of mothers ruin and the delivery charge was more than the tonic! I ordered a bottle of port instead.

On my way back from bludgeoning fish I came across Meryl and Vivian, both going in different directions. Meryl was rushing off to teach her private student but Vivian stopped for a chat. I asked her if she wanted to be my cleaner but she refused because she teaches kids at weekends. However, an hour later she changed her mind and is now my new Mrs Mop. Currently I am arguing with her over pay. She doesn’t want any. She just wants to improve her English. Bless her, but she WILL take the money!

2045

This is going to be my earliest night for months - I am shattered and I don’t really know why. Took the dogs out just off campus earlier and spotted the freshmen queuing for their text books so on the way back I stopped to introduce myself to a few of them then met Kevin by the shops for a beer and a natter. He is staying downtown tonight so he left early which is just as well. Animal food is cooked, Bolognese ready in the microwave to have with bread and butter and Robin as always is outside being extremely vocal. If she doesn’t come in at ten when I call her then tough, I am not in the mood to keep going out to coax her and she will have to stay out all night. Again.

Monday 17th    1300

She did stay out - I can only hope everyone else can’t tell if the barks are hers or other dogs. Despite that, I did get an early night which was much needed and I intend to repeat tonight.

I have had my old class this morning and after lunch I have my first new faces. Kevin re-checked his timetable and found he has been given another two classes, bringing him up to 8 a week. What is most odd is that they are freshmen and the norm has been that one teacher takes them all. It simply goes to show how many more students they have enrolled and I think they really need to put strenuous effort into finding another western teacher to share the workload. God help me if Kevin clutters off next year and they fail to even replace him!

I checked my schedule again to remind myself which days I had 6 lessons. Tuesdays and Fridays are my dreaded days now, but western Wednesdays can still be managed with some planning, although I may just do them fortnightly in view of the workload. Thursdays I could manage easily as I have a free day but Kevin teaches downtown in the evenings then.

1830

The class with the first of the newbies went well, indeed I hope all the rest go as well. It was a slightly larger class than I like at 32 but for the most part they were attentive. Having said that, we weren’t actually doing any real work and for many I am the first foreigner they have met, and certainly the first foreign teacher they have had. I confess to being surprised when, as I entered the classroom, I was treated to a round of applause! I couldn’t help but swiftly point out that they were clapping someone they may end up not even liking - although I sincerely hope that will not be the case. During the break many of my old students came to see me - there were two lots in the rooms either side of mine - bemoaning the fact they miss me, as indeed I do them.

So, heavy day tomorrow. I can’t be bothered cooking so tonight will buy some skewers and heat them in the microwave later. Goodnight for now.

Thursday 13th September, 2012        1745

The only good thing to happen today has been the ability to take a shower this morning. Sonya called me to say the wages still weren’t in so I asked Kevin (as he was teaching) to see if he could find out anything. Nobody else knew anything about not being paid, but then by coincidence a teacher named Cinny (where she obtained that as an English name is beyond me) called to inform me that as Tina is now on maternity leave she is my new assistant. I asked her to make enquiries, which she did this afternoon, and she got back to me with the information the wages had been sent yesterday. We will see if they turn up tomorrow. Kevin arrived with 300y for me as part of the 500y he borrowed last month so at least I could go to town and buy smokes and meat without raiding my other account.

Two other things Cinny wanted to talk to me about were firstly that a teacher had found a small, wet and bedraggled puppy outside our accommodation and they wondered if it was mine. It wasn’t but I am sure the pot-bellied black pig has recently whelped. The second thing was to tell me that instead of my just having one class all next week I will start teaching the freshmen - also, as the classes were too big one or possibly two have been split so I could end up with 9 classes in total. Strictly speaking my contract states a maximum of eight but I am not concerned seeing as I lose one class soon.

The reason for the unexpected early start is because the military training has been delayed. My guess is that due to rising tensions over the disputed islands Japan have just bought the army do not want to send loads of personnel to every college and university and weaken their numbers at a sensitive time. All it means for me is that I should have an easy week or two later when the training does go ahead. I just wish they would hurry up and update my schedule online so I can see what my workload is, but I don’t think somehow I will get a free day mid-week this term!

Friday 14th      2100

Payday arrived and as a result I had to go to town. Actually I didn’t really, I could have left it until tomorrow as I am off there in the morning, but I wanted to get my cigars to leave room for food shopping tomorrow and also wanted to put 500y on K’s card for my internet shopping.

Before I left I checked the school website and my schedule is now there. Not 9 but 10 classes! Doesn’t sound a lot but in fact it is 25% more than I am contracted for. Maybe I will be paid extra - Cinny seems to think I will but if not I can’t complain because it is very much swings and roundabouts. I am assured however that no class is over thirty students which is good.

Yesterday I needed my jacket for the first time on the bike so today I took it again, except I had to take it off because it was so warm. I bought the smokes, this months medicine and a treat of pig trotter and liver for the brood, then Ke Bi Wang for my dinner. There were a few new faces there - presumably freshmen students - to clear tables and as always with new people they just had to keep stealing looks at the foreigner. If they stay there long enough they will see me often enough.

So, a busy week ahead for me, although Kevin has moaned that whilst he works every day yet again I have been given a free day (Thursdays this time). I did point out that on two days I am teaching six lessons and his overall workload is just 60% of mine but he still grumbled! I have been given no books for the new students, but unlike two years ago, it doesn’t bother me. For starters in the first classes we won’t use the books anyway and secondly, hopefully they will be the same ones I have in my cupboard from my first year - with all my notes written in them. That will save me work.

For now, two lessons in the morning and then relax for the rest of the weekend before the onslaught.

Tuesday 11th September, 2012              1645

I am done in! On a whim I decided to clean my oven. It’s only the size of a large microwave but what a job! Now I remember why I never ever cleaned proper sized ovens!

I checked with Sonya to see if the wages were in early but on the one day I really wanted them to be they weren’t. It’s a lovely day today so I could have gone to town and done all I needed to, especially buy the ingredients for tomorrow. I would have done so for the very good reason that tomorrow it is supposed to pee down all day so it appears I will get a bit damp.

On another whim, I was sitting near the café thinking about dinner tonight - I have a hankering for a decent meal rather than campus food, bread or as last night, something I can never really enjoy or fill up on, yet I don’t want to go to the city. I decided I would go to the sweet pork place because I can take the dogs, K is busy tonight and so I invited Joanna. She is coming tomorrow so I thought she would cry off but I am happy to say I am picking her up at six outside the library. She jumped at the chance because she thinks campus food is terrible. Well, I believe it IS in the student cafeterias (yet the prices have all gone up again) but the cafes still do a good trade - more expensive though - and although I find the fare either inedible or boring the students seem to like it.

However by going to eat early I might be able to get an early night, the main rain is forecast from late morning onwards and I have noticed that if whatever is forecast happens, it generally arrives here between two and four hours later. Fingers crossed that if I go early I will avoid most of it.

2130

I had a lovely time with Joanna but I do wish she wouldn’t be so careful with my money. I ordered the prawns and told her to order two dishes she liked so she ordered egg and tomato soup for about 60p and that weird dish I think I mentioned before. Lots of small balls with sweet corn and all different colours so it resembles those play pits they hide treasure in and kids have to dive in. Definitely not my cup of tea! Anyway, at least I am knackered so will definitely hit the sack as soon as I have cooked some duck and finished my bottle of plonk. Night all.

Wednesday 12th         1400

Payday. Or it was supposed to be! I rode into town without getting any rain but when I got to the bank our wages hadn’t been paid in. It’s damned annoying because I planned on loading up the bike with loads of stuff and there I was with 100y in my pocket and a dinner party to cook for and pets with no dinner! As it happens, I bought everything for tonight including the animal fodder for 93y but it means I will have to go back there tomorrow - although I can buy fish here I will run out of cigars. Sonya will check my account and send me a message when the money’s there. I have a little money in my UK account but I don’t keep the debit card on me - it’s not something I use more than once a year here!

2245

For me the lasagne was a little runnier than I would have liked, mainly because I used more milk in the cheese sauce than normal due to there being five diners, but pronounced a success by all, as was the garlic bread. Kevin had reacted with disdain when I told him I  did it in Bacofoil, opining he liked it toasted otherwise it became soggy yet he couldn’t leave it alone! I made three baguettes and there is nothing left, although there are two portions of lasagne residing in my freezer for another day - one of which he has laid claim to.

He did tell me that by accident he ended up eating with Olivier and Coco (the new French teacher and his Chinese wife) in KFC the other night. Apparently she is pregnant with their second child and so soon will leave to live with her parents miles away until it is born and thenceforth Olivier will be alone. Kevin took the liberty of telling him he would be invited to our western evenings as and when we hold them. I don’t mind as long as he contributes with some vin rouge, but of course will not welcome anything other than mild criticism from a traditional enemy regarding my culinary prowess. This isn’t Masterchef, it’s producing western food under fire!

The girls were good company as well, although the only one of us who has showered today was Kevin - downtown. The water has been off for most of today, it came on while I was preparing dinner for the oven but went off when I finally had time to stop and get cleaned up. Lately this has become more frequent and is particularly galling when I found out the student dormitories still have water.

So, hopefully we will be paid tomorrow - if not I will be raiding my coin jars - and I will dine downtown tomorrow.

Sunday 9th September, 2012       1500

Guffaws out loud! Literally.

I was having an online chat with an American doing the same as me in another province of China a couple of hours ago and he told me my public blog has been blocked by The Great Firewall of China. And he was right! Hahahahaha! I could understand if I posted vitriolic diatribes about the country or its government but I felt they are being somewhat counter-productive in banning what I believe is an honest and reasonably balanced account of life here which for the most part is actually favourable! Well, I thought that was another notch in my Belt of Infamy until I discovered that anything with the word “blog“ in the title is banned here and the link contains “blogspot“.

It has been raining all day here so far although it has eased off of late. It has put the dinner date in doubt tonight though and we will have to make a decision in the next hour or so whether to go or not. The bus will be out of the question now there are zillions of students here.

Monday 10th         2300

We left in drizzle so both my capes were employed but it stopped by the time we arrived. Going downtown out of the west gate one turns left, so as soon as we had crossed the road I asked May where we were going. She was paying so choice of venue was hers, I assumed it would be a traditional Chinese place, but she informed me she wanted to treat me to a meal at Old Cologne, the German restaurant! Not only is it expensive, but to get there we should have turned right!!! Thankfully it wasn’t busy so I made a u-turn across six lanes with no problem. I remembered I took her there in the summer so I asked her why she chose to take me there this time. As she hopes to study in England next year she wanted to practise using a knife and fork!

I have to say I feel the food has gone downhill there over the last few months but we both had schnitzel, fries and salad which was ok but that along with four glasses of black beer (she tried one but wasn’t impressed) saw a bill of approaching 300y and when you consider you can treat three others to the prawn place with ample food and drinks for just over a third of that it is small wonder I don’t go there too often. In fact I am seriously considering suggesting to Kevin that we give the place a miss for our roast turkey Christmas day dinner.

I really wanted a reasonably early night because I had my current week’s work to do this morning but I couldn’t get tired enough until after two even with the assistance of “medicine” wine, resulting in my being absolutely knackered for my class. It is teachers day so my phone never stopped with texts from students and May even - despite my saying it was not necessary - brought me a gift of four bottles of beer.

At about five thirty I caved in this evening and went to bed for a nap. Kevin was supposed to be eating at a student’s home, her father is the chief executive of our yet to open airport, but was stood up so I ended up being woken an hour later. He was going with Daisy and Susan to one of the new off-campus restaurants and did I want to join them? I did. During the meal he observed that the food is virtually identical and tastes exactly the same in 98% of the restaurants in this city. I had to agree. Unless you go to the prawn place, a fried jowza specialist or the expensive hotels the school take us to, it does. Tonight was no different but the interesting thing was that they had rabbit on the menu. Now the Chinese eat everything including cat and dog, yet the two girls refused to even countenance trying it. Actually it wasn’t nice, it needed to be cooked a lot longer to tenderise it and of course the bunny had simply been hacked with a cleaver into bits which contained bones. Shame. I am sure if I knew where to buy rabbit I could make a passable stew.

Western Wednesday is definitely on this week and I will try lasagne and garlic bread this time and get it right. The two girls are coming and as Kiki refused Joanna leapt at the chance. The problem is, payday is Wednesday and the forecast is for rain! I will send Sonya a text tomorrow and if we have been paid early I will whizz into town and do my shopping then, it will give me all day to make dough etc.

Apart from the brief encounter I had with our new French teacher I haven’t seen him since, although Kevin thinks he may be turning out to be another Patrick - ie antisocial. Apparently he has seen him four more times and on each occasion he has simply ignored him! I did say I would rather that than have someone I don’t like wanting to be my friend!

Saturday 8th September, 2012        1600

Early morning today and off to teach brats on the first day of their extra school. Thirty-one in the first class, all new faces yet I swear they must have spoken to older hands because not only did they know what to expect by way of games, knew the “sound effects” I use, but and particularly misbehaved boy certainly knew he was getting the chalk duster patted on his head long before I got to him. If only I could buy a Taser.

I had an hours break before the next class so went to the bank and afterwards sat having a drink to pass the time. Had I known of the break I would have taken a book. Anyway, when I left to walk back to the school, as I approached the only public toilets I am aware of here, I saw a girl emerge and start walking the way I was going. She looked very familiar from behind - no, NOT what you think! - because of the way she walked and her very square shoulders  which would so very much suit epaulettes. I called out from twenty feet astern, “Bessie”” but got no response, so I turned up the volume and this time she turned. It was indeed her. She had heard the first time but didn’t believe anyone was calling her by her English name - what are the chances of it being her foreign teacher in a city of 1.6 million and not even being in a busy place?

I won’t say what she had been doing (not in the toilet of course) but suffice to say she knows it was wrong but she made 300y for an hours work, sadly it is all too common here. And no, it doesn’t involve sex. Anyway, we chatted briefly and when she found out I was going to teach a lesson she asked if she could see the school. I agreed and suggested she come to the lesson, had lunch with me after and then I gave her a lift back.

The class comprised about thirty students, all new, but this time beginners who knew as much English as I know Tagalog. As I had Bessie and the class teacher sitting in along with four mums, I wasn’t even going to try on their first day. Games it was. The picture game, but of course nobody knew the answers in English so I ended up relying on my two translators to tell me when someone gave a correct answer. I think everyone enjoyed it and hopefully the next time I see them they will have learnt some words.

We left, I bought some cigars and then we went to Ke Bi Wang for lunch. It was packed and there was a long queue of people standing patiently with trays waiting to even put them on the “slidey” counter to be served food. Shortly before we actually got to rest our trays on said counter, two completely unconnected men came and took trays from just in front of us. Here we go again, thought I. I asked Bessie if they were pushing in and was told “maybe”, so I asked why none of the dozen or so Chinese people in the queue behind us hadn’t complained. “They won’t, they are Chinese”. Ok I said, their time is more important than everyone else’s so maybe one is the mayor and the other a high-ranking government official (not that I gave a hoot)? I don’t know, she said. Yes indeed they intended to push in, only this time they never dreamed a barbarian would embarrass them in public. Oh yes, they both couldn’t speak English and both feigned indifference and ignorance. But of course I had a secret weapon - Bessie! She translated for me that they should go to the back of the queue whilst the others behind us listened and watched. I spotted more than one wry smile from the patient ones. After, Bessie said “you are so brave, I would never dare do that” and I pointed out that it doesn’t take bravery at all, just anger that someone else thinks they are better than you - especially in a Socialist country where allegedly everyone is equal. Two years ago my doing that would have ruined my appetite, now I don’t even think about it. Those two just might think next time they try to push in - or at the very least check no laoweis are about!

We rode back on a beautiful afternoon not marred by rain, there was a quarter of an inch forecast, and I dropped her off at her accommodation block, rode up further and shouted for Robin then went down to the shops for a drink and to do my shopping. Forget the shopping, this is the Great Influx. Unless I wanted to wait at the checkout for an hour it was “forget it”. If it is still the same tonight I will go outside to shop. Anyway, I sat at an outside table watching all the newbies and their parents buying buckets, mops, noodles etc and then decided to see what the queues were like in the supermarket. No chance, so I walked back to my table. I was about fifteen feet away from it when I felt the first drop of rain and in those few feet got utterly drenched as the sky emptied. A quarter of an inch? More like two inches and in the space of five minutes! All gone now of course, and probably no more to come until tomorrow, I just hope it doesn’t spoil May’s dinner plans for Sunday.

2245

Well I did cave in and took a nap. The alarm went off and I didn’t know if it was Easter or breakfast time. What I did know however was that the rain had returned because there was thunder every few seconds. Great, I had left my shopping until tonight. The one thing about the rain here though is it either lasts all day, buckets for five minutes or teems for an hour. It was the latter so I simply waited awhile and took the mutts out after it stopped.

When I got to the shop quadrangle - overused phrase I know and mostly employed to describe teenage bedrooms - it looked as if a bomb had hit. All day there had been makeshift stalls promoting everything from noodles to toothpaste with free food samples being given out (sadly none of them edible as far as I was concerned) and of course this produced empty cardboard boxes. You can imagine what the deluge did to them. Although the sales people cleared most of the cardboard even now it resembles the outskirts of the old Wembley stadium after an England match.

Before I go for today, I just remembered something that happened in the small hours this morning. I have a huge red circular washing up bowl which has featured in some of my pictures - mainly with animals curled up inside. Nowadays it simply takes up space and usually the cats jump in and out occasionally, shifting it around the place as they launch into or out of it. I think Sky propped it up against the wall when she was cleaning and I left it there. I was awoken at some point in the night by a strange noise. Anything in my home unidentified is cause for alarm and usually means the cats are doing something I don’t like, so alerted, I turned on the bedside light.

What I saw was the upturned bowl careering around the room like a demented giant Galapagos tortoise. Guessing one of the cats had dislodged it whilst underneath and become confined  I did a quick visual head count and concluded the guilty party was Pooh. This is the cat who figured out how to open cupboards, the bathroom door and turn keys to access locked wardrobes so I figured he would suss out how to escape. I didn’t bother getting up, and he did so very quickly.

Wednesday 5th September, 2012       1530

Kevin gave me a nice little present at lunchtime - my payment of 50y for judging a drama contest last term. Not a huge amount of money but it buys a case of pijou or all I can eat at the BBQ restaurant. We have a glorious day here and in a while I shall go out and meet him for a chat after his lessons.

The kids school owner called earlier, they have restarted and so I have a couple of lessons on Saturday morning. I really must make an effort to think up some new games to play with them because although there will be new students they will be in the minority.

Thursday 6th      1300

For the first time in months I bought campus food for dinner last night. A load of barbecued sticks which they remembered not to make too spicy for the foreign wimp. For price and convenience they are in fact good - I got what amounted to a large plateful for 12y, tried to be a little healthy by including mushrooms, cabbage and pumpkin along with rice, fish squid etc. Plus they are ideal to reheat at home after cooking for the zoo.

That could have been an impossibility though, for on my return the water was off. In case of emergency I keep a flask of water for animal drinking or cooking and I was relieved to find it holds enough to boil a half a duck. The water was only restored about an hour ago so I assume the new pump they installed in the break is not top quality.

1545

Well, after a brief spell of the water being on it went off again! I am still waiting to get cleaned up.

Friday 7th         0130

The water fiasco continued with the stop-start until eventually I gave up, donned yesterday’s clothes and went out anyway. Just for some shopping and for the dogs to have a stretch, but I was none too pleased at being dirty and sticky. During one of the “on” moments I refilled the flask and kettle and so had plenty of water to make some bread. I had not defrosted anything for the four-legged contingent so bought some of their “alien” food from a café. Duck legs and necks I think, bloody 31y worth. At present the legs have gone but there are still three quarters of the necks left. If my dogs won’t even eat them what on earth are the students like???

I eventually managed a shower at 2230 so at least in the morning if there’s no water I will be reasonably clean, but not long after I took it the water disappeared yet again! This is becoming tiresome.

2045

Not being very productive lately am I? Quiet day in again I am afraid, although I did go outside campus twice. First time was to buy fish - for once I never had to club them to death as they obviously had some gutted ones they couldn’t shift and gave me a good price, the second you will see in a little while.

After buying the fish I went to see if Barry Manilow was there. He was, so at last you can see my scalp again. There are what appear to be some new hands in there (judging by the fact three of them were practising on a mannequin head and a wig) and normally, aside from the fact that having a haircut is a necessary intrusion in my life, I don’t mind it because they don’t speak English so there isn’t the usual obligatory chat with the barber - I can just sit grumpily silent. This time though, I felt like a patient with a rare condition being attended to by a consultant showing medical students the ropes - including the topiarist there were no less than five bodies ranged around me discussing my barnet. Still, it’s done now for another month or so.

I did my shopping and had a swift couple before going home. I wanted to get back before Sky came to clean so I could do the washing up. The only reason was the fact the innards of the bread maker were dirty, they are non-stick and I don’t trust her not to just use the gentle sponge to clean everything. Anyway, I like to take the dogs out of her way.

When she came I left again, this time on foot. Thank God I took the lead because Pepsi wet herself and ran off at the very hint of a vehicle or other people and I ended up having to half drag her. The campus is certainly heaving now with newcomers arriving constantly - the cafes were busy but I had decided to have sardines on toast anyway. Until I changed my mind that is. After observing and thinking that Chinese women should not wear heels because all they do is either teeter/totter/look ungainly I walked back to the bike and took the dogs to the new place just off campus. Actually there are now four new ones - the fifth is some way off opening - but I just fancied fried dumplings.

The place is an offshoot of “my” café here and the wall menu has but two pictures, one of a fish thing, the other of fried dumplings, the rest being in written Mandarin. Nobody spoke English but I pointed to the picture and through gestures I was asked how many I wanted at 4p each. Ten. Then I spotted the boss (the owners son) who speaks a little, only to be told they didn’t have any. Sod it, ok give me boiled rice, the aubergine (eggplant as they call it) dish and something else small you think I will like. I wish I hadn’t bothered because I ended up with just an egg and tomato dish I could have had on campus! Ah well, I will give the other new places a crack at it in time. In the meantime, May (remember the girl who was taking an exam in the holidays who I tried to help?) wants to take me out for dinner on Sunday night.

Monday 3rd September, 2012       1800

I am not joking when I say I found this morning a struggle. It was hard to get up so early and harder to get some vim into myself, but I was in class with plenty of time to spare. You would think after a couple of months holiday the students would have had plenty to talk about in my class seeing as it was also their first one back as well as mine. But no, just as stolid as they were last term. Yes, a few such as Bessie and Jazzy offered tales but only after prompting by me. Thank God I won’t have them for too long now. My calculations are that they have 12 double lessons, one we just had and the final two I will spend doing their final tests which leaves nine. To my surprise we do have a book this time, not a particularly good one but I will get through it. Well I say “we” but I haven’t been given one! Somewhere in my flat I have the same one from a year ago so I will try and find it.

The last thing I needed today was an unresponsive class when I had a job to motivate myself, so when we finished at noon I sagged with relief. I went to have a drink and chat with Kevin at the shops and although I got a cold one swiftly by simply taking one from the fridge, he wanted a bottled coffee drink from the supermarket. He had to wait for half an hour until there weren’t queues at the checkout a mile long. All the cafes were mobbed and the freshmen haven’t even arrived yet! I am told this term we will have 15,000 students and that will strain the facility infrastructure yet more - we really could do with another shopping/eating centre on site. As it was, I have always tried to time my shopping/dining for when lessons are taking place or after the rush hours but I can envisage even that becoming a pain. I suppose at least with the bike I can always whizz  outside, especially if the new cafes opening up are comparably priced.

My cat litter arrived a short time ago and on the promise of a 15y tip Kiki persuaded the lad to deliver it to my door. Because Lottemart rarely stock it lately it is becoming a monthly thing and weighing 20kg it is a fair weight to carry even for a young chap. Tonight’s consignment arrived in a box instead of the usual sack but as I knew there would be two bags of 10kg each, while he stood there I opened it and showed him so next time it will be easier for him.

Tuesday 4th      1330

Tried and failed to have a kip yesterday, the result of course being that unwelcome lethargic feeling all day. I would have bought my dinner on campus but the problem with making bread is that even the smallest loaf  is far too big for one person - no matter how hard I try some always gets thrown away. I had to have bread to save waste and treated myself to some Heinz baked beans on toast.

I feel a little more human now and will go to town later to shop and get my dinner. I want fresh flour so I can dump the “live” stuff, plus a container to keep it in. I wonder if Kevin has checked his because that has stood for two months opened!

Patrick is returning here in October. Not as a teacher but to get his money. Because his visa expired before his contract (a situation we all have but which is not a problem as long as you aren’t leaving) they wouldn’t reimburse flight expenses or provide a release letter until expiry. He therefore had to leave the country early. When Kevin told me my immediate comment was it was absolutely disgusting and why the hell couldn’t the school pay it into his account? It turns out it IS in his account but he has the same account as me, one with a book. I just learnt something - I can only withdraw money in this city! I am glad I didn’t find that out a year ago in Shanghai when I missed my flight. Ages ago I opened a card account and somewhere in a cupboard I have the box with a computer thingy and a book of Chinese instructions. It seemed pointless to get someone to set it up for me seeing as unless I got the uni to start paying my salary into it I still had to go to the bank to withdraw from one and pay into the other. I think it’s time I took the trouble.

1900

Seems a bit of a shame really to go all the way into town just to buy duck, flour and a bin to put the latter in, but then I did have dinner there and now - unless I particularly want  to - I don’t have to go again until the weekend. If I decide to do another lasagne I will have to, or get Kevin to buy the bits for me, he teaches kids downtown three evenings a week anyway.

My rides were interesting though, outbound I thought there was something odd by the lake. There was, the pleasure spot with the big batwings looked decidedly bare because the “wings” have disappeared. I thought perhaps they may have taken the fabric down for cleaning or something but when I got closer it looked as if the canvas (or whatever it is) had been ripped off. We haven’t had really strong winds recently so I have no idea what’s going on there.

On the way back I was approaching the Peninsular hotel on the lake. Right by the entrance to the place the road forms an S bend, and on the way back the first part of the S is a completely blind bend until you are a few feet from it - regardless of which direction you are travelling. Right on the entrance there are two sets of speed humps. Approaching the bend I heard a car horn but never accorded it any significance because if I went five minutes on the road without hearing one here I would think the world had ended.  Two cars came out of the curve on their side of the road, but a split second later a third hove into view on my side! He had decided to overtake in a place I would think cannot be topped for lunacy. Maybe his horn sounding was along the lines of a favourite Chinese driving motto - if I can’t see you then you can’t  hit me - and was supposed to guarantee no opposing traffic to collide with. It takes a lot here now on the road to render me incredulous but that did. Certainly I could have swerved off the road, hit a tree a injured or killed myself  if I wanted - I might also just have been able to scrape past the culprit and still stay on the road - but instead I simply stopped, slap bang in the middle of my lane, forcing him to do likewise. I won’t write what I said (or rather, bellowed) here, suffice to say my gestures left no doubt as to my thoughts. The only consolation I got was seeing the cars he was overtaking end up in front of him because I very much doubt the driver paid any notice or indeed realised his utter stupidity. Give me a .44 Magnum.

2230

I forgot to mention that on my return the mother of the noisy kid (she’s fine, hubby never speaks and it’s granddad that incites the little one to be loud) looked on quizzically as I took my shopping off the bike. I think it astonished her that a man would buy flour, for she asked what I used it for. Looks like I will be making her a loaf shortly then.

I’ve just got back from taking the dogs out, Robin to do her thing and Pepsi to hide and shiver as usual - I wonder if dogs can be agoraphobic? Anyway, when we came home, because I have no intention of going any great distance tomorrow instead of charging up I parked outside the entrance. I did vaguely register the rubbish bin for our block had been toppled but it is hardly my concern.

However, my guess is that there was waste food in a bag inside and the “black gang” pushed it over to get at it. I don’t think I am wide of the mark because although I couldn’t see them in the dark they were still there. Now everybody hates these dogs, including Kevin and me. They tried it on with Piggy but when he was old enough and big enough they had the sense to leave him alone. They used to gang up on Robin when she was younger but lately as I think I said in a previous post, she has taken delight in approaching them, barking to annoy them and then making a run for it.

Only this time, it was HER territory! I don’t know how many there were at the start, but when the blonde bombshell arrived at the speed of light just two had stuck around, foolishly as it turned out to my immense pride and joy. A black male son and the matriarch, a Vietnamese pot-bellied ugly pig of a canine which I would destroy without hesitation. Fur flew everywhere and there could be only one victor. Two black things fled in terror and a triumphant blonde dog stood tall on “her” mound where she normally waits for my return. I have to say I lavished praise on her……..

Extra portion of duck for her tonight methinks!

Sunday 2nd September, 2012        1800

During my final visit to the bathroom before retiring last night I was confronted by a group of rather large cockroaches. I must be fair and point out this is only the second time in two years and the remedy is simple. A five second burst of insect killer, close the door and go to bed. This morning there were dead bodies everywhere.

As I predicted, the campus is now heaving, although when I went down to the shops at three it was reasonably quiet. This was due to two factors - siesta time and impending rain, so I managed to get my shopping without queuing, something I would not have been able to do later.

Before I left I put some bread on to bake - first time of use for the replacement machine - and was none too impressed to find a weevil in my flour. I removed it and refused to look for more, after all if there are any in the loaf they will be dead by the time it is done. I will be buying a large plastic container in the very near future in which to store it from now on.

The planned haircut is deferred, I glanced in the barbers and there was no sign of Barry Manilow so by indicating a giant hooter and a questioning expression I elicited the information that he will either be back on the fifth or in five days, whichever five fingers meant. I will wait.

Further information has come my way regarding my single class. Bessie told me I am teaching her class but the other half have been given to Kevin. Best of luck to him because besides Georgina, they are about as easy to motivate as it is some nights getting Robin to come home. I also understand that the vast majority of freshmen don’t arrive for at least another week so it may be true that I only have one class a week until the middle of October. They have their training and the combined mid-autumn festival and national birthday are giving us a 9 day holiday. Seeing as Kevin had it easy last year it (and revenge) is my turn.

Whilst at the shops, I hadn‘t even finished my first pijou sitting under a table umbrella before the rain came. I stayed put for five minutes but eventually had to admit defeat when even under shelter I was getting dripped on. I moved into the café which was about 25 feet away and got rather wet in the process. It was truly torrential but there can be no complaints because the met office got it right. I couldn‘t countenance trying to ride home even under a cape - walking under an umbrella wouldn’t have been much better because the rain was bouncing back up from the ground - so there was nothing else but to shelter with more ale until it abated. Ninety minutes later it died down enough to make a break for it, whether I will go out again later this evening remains to be seen.

The café had some work/alterations carried out in the break, one thing being a large external extractor to serve the kitchen. The fan is sited at the front of the place, the kitchen at the rear, so the trunking runs the full length. On its first test it failed. It was the pancake lady’s first day back today and I don’t think she was too amused when she started getting rained on indoors. The water was running off the side of the building, onto the top of the conduit and then making its way inside to spill off right next to her hotplate. It was “fixed” in short order because one of the chaps found some plyboard and a ladder, clambered up and put it on top of the trunk outside, then completed the job by putting a brick underneath to tilt it so the water cascaded off outside.

For some strange reason I am tired today. It’s not as if I got up early other than to let Robin out. Actually that’s a good thing hopefully for it will mean I can get to sleep earlier tonight as I have the God-awful time of 1020 to start work - mind you, my week will be over at noon! On the neck front, much better today as I scrunched up a pillow and used it much like a bolster. Pity the rest of me aches today…….

2200

Well well well. I did go out and actually walked the dogs because it was raining. Easier said than done because I had a brolly in one hand and a puppy lead in the other. Fine normally, but I think I need yet another notch boring in my belt because every ten paces I had to hitch my trousers up. I doubt very much this is due to weight loss, rather it is dreadful tailoring of the garment - a common fault with every pair I have bought here.

Anyway, the “well well well” comment was made because no sooner had a I grabbed a bottle and was about to sit down at an outside table than I spotted what appeared to be a non-Chinese face carrying some shopping out from the supermarket. I peered at him undecided and then he said “hello, you are English?”. Bugger me if it isn’t Patrick’s replacement, here with his Chinese wife and their young son. Olivier and Coco. Typically the other foreign teachers have had to find out in this fashion instead of being told beforehand so we could perhaps have welcomed them, but we are accustomed to such “oversights” by now even if it does rankle. As luck would have it, Kevin had just arrived, bought some bottled coffee drinks in the shop and emerged to also be introduced. So now we are three again. Hopefully he will be a little more sociable than his predecessor and it guarantees us the slap-up welcome school dinner I thought we would not get! Not only that, they are not my neighbours because they have been given a new two-bed place because of the son - no extra bawling brat then. About time they shifted 304 as well so we can all have some peace.

Saturday 1st September, 2012      1430

Contracts-wise today I commence year three and I must say the last two years have rocketed by. A multitude of experiences yet the time seems to have been jet propelled. When I think of the jobs I have done in the past which made hours stretch to eternity it causes me regret.

As indeed does my blessed neck. I think I may have to dig out the pillows I put away for being too big and hard. Really what I need is a bolster, I had one in the UK and I slept fine with head down but neck supported so I may see if I can get one from Taobao.

I had a call a while ago from Lynda. She was visiting campus today (she lives in the town) and had been given thirty text books which she needed to get to her dormitory. Even though she doesn’t sleep there she stores such things in it. Could she borrow my bike? I didn’t refuse, not least of all because in 33C walking several times a fair way with heavy books it would have been cruel. Anyway, she took one of my pups to live with her grandparents in the country.

I haven’t been out yet, in fact I won’t bother until about half past four. I can buy the few bits I need on campus and stow them on the bike, then Joanna is meeting me an hour later to go to dinner, I decided on the new BBQ place as not only is it their turn but it is cheaper than that new traditional place. I think it will be a tad more crowded today here, while tomorrow any thoughts of shopping on campus would be idiotic. Thousands of students will fill the supermarket to bursting as they buy toilet rolls, toothpaste, soap etc. If they don’t snaffle all the cold beers from my café I won’t have a problem though, I just help myself from the fridge and pay for however many I have had at the end. I may not be their best food customer but it is probable I spend more there than anyone else!

2300

Well the last thing I expected when I left home to buy a bottle of plonk and grab a beer whilst waiting for Joanna was high drama. For a race which places great stock in loss of face the Chinese are rather prone to exceptionally public and extremely loud arguments.

A male and a female, the former I would guess a septuagenarian, the latter in her sixties, were having the most violent row. What was it over? Rubbish!!

Yes, that’s right - garbage. My uninformed opinion is that there are two kinds of refuse collector on campus, one employed and issued with a handcart, the other the opportunist scratching a living. The first clearly supplements the income by selling cans, plastic and cardboard, the second simply sells said items in order to get some money. The old boy is the “official” dustman, the woman the interloper. Both I have seen many times and exchanged pleasantries with. However, when I arrived the row was in full swing and at maximum volume - dozens of students and shopkeepers watching and the pair tussling over the woman’s rubbish bag. Highly entertaining admittedly but it was tempting to go and try to resolve the dispute by giving the old man the bag and the woman 5y (50p) which was at least thrice what she could have sold the contents for. Why didn’t I? Not because of the money but because not only may they not have thanked me for it but it was a very Chinese thing. Also I may have looked stupid and anyway there were plenty of others watching who knew what the hell was going on. In fact one codger who simply HAD to be in his eighties DID separate them and proceed to take half the contents of the bag out for the fellow to have - most equitable I felt. I understand the man’s beef because it is his “patch” and his perks but equally I felt for the woman because she has no job and needs to live. I would like to say that was an end to it, but both parted only to resume a few minutes later. The silly thing is, the man knocks off at sixish and when I came back tonight the woman scavenged the bins with impunity. Perhaps it would be better if she confined herself to the evening shift.

Anyway, Joanna arrived and we set off for town on the bike. I’m not sure she was impressed by my shortcut but it does cut out a kilometre even if it is a bit bumpy. Before we left I relented and gave her the choice of the BBQ or the traditional place but she opted for the original plan. When we exited the lift all three restaurants were doing a roaring trade and annoyingly Bunny wasn’t working at the prawn place - I had my camera and wanted a photo. Another time then. Once again I found myself eating little but watching my companion, without an ounce of fat on her frame, tucking it away like a trencherman. It is all you can eat (not that it made a difference to me) so I was pleased she liked it. In fact she stated she loved the place. Unusually for China, we stayed just over two hours before heading back by which time it was dark.

Both ways she endured my rants about Chinese drivers, but then she probably agreed seeing as outbound as we went to turn left from the lake onto the main road a car turned left into our road on our side, causing me to have to perform an emergency stop to avoid us both being smacked to kingdom come. He stopped too - no choice unless he wanted to commit murder with other drivers as witnesses - and if I thought he would still be there after I put the bike on its stand I would have dismounted and done something most ungentlemanly. I did however treat Joanna to an unexpected English lesson on the correct and best use of a certain F word simply because I couldn’t stop myself.

Anyway, of course we are now home safely, she has custody of all the Hilton bathroom goodies (Wow, they’re free? Not really, that’s why they charge so much!) the dogs have been out and I shall relax. I need to prepare myself for the 1½ hours work a week I have to do for maybe 5 weeks!