Saturday 26^th June, 2021 1345

Further twists and turns. Now that I reluctantly agreed to apply for my new residence permit on the 28^th July and thus travel using a scrap of paper, Brenda has now backtracked and said she thinks I can apply on the 23^rd August – which was what I had suggested! That would give me slightly less time in Shanghai than anticipated but nonetheless nine nights. Probably for the best because at present this holiday is haemorrhaging my money!

I have now booked four hotel stays in Yunnan, all with IHG. I didn't want to book them all with IHG because in Lijiang they only offer two hotels (both the same hideous price) and had intended to use Hilton which was slightly cheaper. Could I book it? Could I hell!

The first problem was the saved card on their website has expired so I tried to update to the new one. Lo and behold, “this hotel doesn't take your preferred card”. What? Since when do they not take Visa? Undeterred, I attempted to use my Chinese Unionpay card. Surely as they are in China and all the Chinese use it, they must take that? Nope, according to their system they don't accept that either!

I got the hump after a while and gave up on Hilton, instead plumping for the Intercontinental Ancient City Resort. At £1200 for four nights it is the most expensive room I have ever booked in China! They're all expensive in Yunnan but that's mental. It had better be good. I suppose I could have economised and booked cheaper Chinese places but that's what you do when you come to China for a holiday, not when you want to think you've been away when you live here! An estimate of the cost of just flights and hotels? £3,500. That's madness I know but at least I will get nearly four weeks holiday. Good job I have saved some Chinese money!

My students this week have been replying “noooo” to the question I ask at the start of every class, which is, “Is everybody happy?” Why were they unhappy? It's too hot, they moaned! Finally this year we have weather where I don't have to run my heater at home or wear a jacket when I go out and they are complaining!

My health code has stopped working. Brenda tried to fix it but failed. This morning I had a hunch and phoned my smartphone. It hasn't had any credit for months now but it was still accepting incoming calls. Not any more. I guess I need to go and bung a couple of hundred yuan on it for the summer.

I think everyone on campus, students and faculty, has now had both their Sinovac or Sinopharm shots for Covid. Except me, the leper. I'm starting to feel picked on now!

Oh, and Our Man In Shanghai discovered a shop close to the hotel I stay in when I am there (well, close to him could be miles for me!) which now sells lorne sausage and - wait for it – pork pies! He and TJ have been sampling recently and they certainly look authentic. They must be made in China though. I will be having a little taste in the Big Bamboo in August. Knowing me, I'll probably have some and that will be my dinner for that day......

I have been watching with interest the fiasco in the UK with the “traffic light” system of international travel (and thanking my lucky stars I haven't been forced to leave here). Malta is now on green which will please my friend Paul who lives there but it did bring to mind the film “The Italian Job” - the original with Michael Caine – when they paralyse Turin using the lights. I'd be worried about going away in case the lights changed and on return I had to quarantine at huge cost and be fed prison slop for my £1700. At least the food photos Joanna sent me from her confinement in Kuala Lumpur looked decent.

 

Tuesday 22^nd June, 2021 1845

Why, oh why do things have to get so complicated? Shifting like sand dunes all the time?

First of all I was told the term was not now finishing 24^th July as they insisted but a week earlier on the 17^th. I told them so but nobody listened! At least this time I had notice so there will be no mad scramble to do the exams.

Then Brenda asked me when I was going to the little local police station to sort out “houku” with my new passport. I was going to go this past weekend but she said the police wouldn't be happy and a weekday would be better – patently if I want to do some robberies I need to confine myself to Saturdays and Sundays! So I'm going tomorrow before I start school.

She brought me the paperwork and due to the fact I happened to have my passports with me, she copied them for both me and her. Then she asked when I was going to the PSB to get my residence permit transferred because she didn't want me to be fined 500¥ a day.

I informed her the ten days were already up on Sunday. The passport was issued on the 10^th and I received it Friday 18^th! Panicked, she proceeded to call the PSB to explain the situation. As it stands at present, Gov UK is spinning a load of bull because the PSB said just do what we've always done and travel with both passports!

Then another spanner in the works. To renew my permit for September I need to apply about two weeks previous to expiry. Annoying to say the least because I am stuffed either way. I apply at the end of July just before I set off and accordingly next year it will expire in July (and I travel on a scrap of paper) or I cut short my sojourn in Shanghai. Maybe. I could reduce my planned Shanghainese blowout from 14 to 10 days and maybe get away with it if I apply the day after I return. I will get Brenda to check for me.

The holidays I have had screwed up these past two years and still it's happening! It could have been worse if I had also been visiting Joan but we agreed to cancel the idea after she took a new job and wasn't going to have more than a day or two to spare. Instead we decided to finally, hopefully, make that trip to the Harbin ice city in spring festival that her dean stuffed up for us years ago.

It's not just Boris buggering up travel plans.........

 

Thursday 17^th June, 2021 1715

These delays at the passport office are infuriating!

Two weeks ago Tuesday my application was lodged in Shanghai and my new passport never arrived until yesterday!

Ok so the above is very firmly tongue in cheek, I doubt I could have gotten it much quicker by post if I was in the UK. Roland sent it via courier at noon today so I should have it either tomorrow or Saturday. Plenty of time to deal with all the nonsense involved here and get it back ready for my big adventure, travelling with one or maybe two young ladies, doing what I normally do – letting her/them explore while I sample the beers! I may just try to take taxis to tourist attractions and get some snaps to post on the blog though but I ain't hiking up mountains or trekking miles as they are wont to do. Bugger that. I did all that when I was capable of it. Now a hundred yard totter puffs me out.

But I will be doing it with a proper black passport at last! And nobody try to correct me and say it's blue because it isn't! I have a certificate to say I am not colour blind – a prerequisite to being a navigator.

So we have gone from having a week of lovely warm weather to my having to wear a jacket again these past two days. It's almost enough to make me switch on my heater again.

Mr Jing Jo is going to hate me soon. So far with this “competition” the Snow beer company is running I have taken in two lots of six winning riptops to him and I am sitting here now with another nine waiting to be claimed!

Roland has just been sending me photos of Doc Martens airwear shoes on sale in Shanghai as a result of my whingeing I cannot find any shoes that have “bounce” up here. If he thought I was bluffing then he has called it – except I wasn't. What it didn't realise was that the bloody things cost about £150 a pair! I hope they last because I intend to get two pairs. I must try and find my polish and brushes though, haven't really needed them for a while, what with wearing trainers........

 

Monday 14^th June, 2021 1900

As much as I would happily have lounged around doing nothing, it wasn't an option today.

Two things were in short supply: wine and Twinings breakfast teabags. I enlisted Jody's help so that I could get three boxes of wine from BHG, which will ensure I only need one box a week until end of term. The teabags however, could only come from Metro.

And what a shock! 100 bags priced at 138¥ (that's nearly £15) when the last time I bought some they were 87¥. That's one hell of an increase and I wonder if it is something to do with the global shipping container crisis due to most of them being on quaysides in South China. I noticed coffee had gone up last week but not by how much, it's not something special and Twinings is. If it's happening here then I would assume it is or will be happening around the globe. Freight costs are now through the roof and the whip hand belongs to the shipping companies. I can't say I blame them for caning the market, ships were given a very raw deal indeed when the virus hit. I suppose it would be too much to hope that some of the added profits might trickle down by way of crew bonuses.

Both of us were tired and neither fancied Burger King, Jody amazingly refused my offer to take her to Starbucks (and she loves it) because that particular outlet is, according to her, far too crowded. Considering today is Dragon Boat Day I reckon she might have been right. So it was a quick shop. I even forgot to check on the cheese section.

I had another afternoon kip and of course felt dreadful when I woke up. I haven't eaten and I'm not hungry but I did buy an Italian sausage pizza which will probably be dire. I will give it a try!

When I went to the jing jo shop I couldn't help but notice a vehicle parked in the Shijia hotel car park. An SUV liveried in the most dreadful matt grey with matt black trim. It looked like a huge training shoe on wheels!

Last night I had a punt on Euro 2020/1. England have never ever won their opening match and I am pissed off with losing money backing them, so I was cheering for Croatia last night. It may be that if I bet against England every time they may win the tournament for once! Wonder if the FA will reimburse my losses.......

But the big question today is – when will England ever be free? Is it to be an unending extension of lockdown???

 

Saturday 12^th June, 2021 1500

No internet today. The usual farce here where the university goes into cyberlockdown because the students are taking their CET exams. The whole school takes the test regardless of major and so ostensibly this measure is to prevent cheating.

I say it's a farce because although it deprives me of communication with the outside world, the students are still able to use the internet via their mobile phone subscriptions. And Jody was invigilating this morning but returned home at lunchtime. Considering it will be nigh on six o'clock before they switch us back on, I asked why was she here? I am finished, she said. So how come the internet is still off? Oh, this morning was CET4 and this afternoon it's CET6. Why the hell can't they just get all the students in on the Saturday morning and run the exams concurrently and reconnect us at noon???

Yesterday was a good day. I left home at 0740 and there was a yellow taxi across the road showing green. I waited for it to move and hailed it. The driver was a woman I have now had three times and so for the first time I never had to show my destination written in Chinese.

Then at 1000 during the break a couple of girls from my afternoon juniors class sought me out to ask me if they could bunk off so they could revise for CET? How many of you, just two? No, the whole class. YES!!!!!!

So I got to leave at midday and went home for a very rare afternoon nap, believe me it was sorely needed.

I also had a message from Joan. The summer plan as it stood was to tour Yunnan province (currently in the news for the herd of elephants getting drunk and a recent earthquake) followed by a visit to see her prior to going to Shanghai. Except she hated her job so much that after a few years she has quit and finishes at the end of next month. She wondered if we were both free if she could travel with me?

I have suggested she join Alice and me seeing Yunnan. No idea whether it will happen or not, she has a job interview very soon but if it does it is going to escalate the hotel bills! I did some investigating and it seems possible to book a suite with a double bed and pay a surcharge to have another bed put in the room. I normally book rooms with executive/club lounge benefits (drinks and snacks in the evenings and complimentary breakfasts). Seeing as I am an IHG Ambassador entitled to an automatic upgrade, it will be a good test to see if it is worthwhile.

Actually it would be really nice to have a menage à trois for a fortnight, Joan would be company for Alice who is an intrepid explorer and you just know there's no way I am going hiking around attractions – I'll be in the nearest bar!

We shall see. I just need a passport now.

 

Thursday 10^th June, 2021 1800

After I had posted Monday's entry Jody came home with her news.

For two years now she has been trying to get the release papers signed (sounds as if she is a prisoner, which in a way she is) so she can go and teach in South America. I persuaded her that Colombia was too dangerous and so I believe now she chooses Mexico.

She was refused last year because of Covid – although I gather a couple of other teachers were in fact allowed to go. On Monday she was refused again. She has been working her whatnots off for a year doing extra hours and work in order to ingratiate herself, we are talking fourteen hour weekdays and weekends twelve. Ridiculous. I told her there was no loyalty in Chinese schools but she wouldn't listen.

And now she knows I was right because her boss told her on Monday that as long as he was in charge she would never get the authorisation. She could transfer to her old boss's department and next year he surely would give her what she wants. Except such is the system in China that both heads of dept have to agree to the transfer. That presumably is the price to be paid for what is effectively a job for life. I told her she should immediately refuse any extra work and in fact work to rule.

On Tuesday she came home with the news that next term her dept will be abolished and everyone in it will be placed under her old boss, the good guy! Naturally that cheered her up.

And universities are in the news lately, what with dons refusing to teach until Rhodes falls (sack the lot of them, I say) and now stupid kids removing the queen from Oriel. Closer to home for me, a university teacher in Shanghai was murdered (stabbed) by a fellow teacher he had disagreed with. In the taxi going to campus I told this to Jody and suggested perhaps it was because the stabbed one was the boss and he had said as long as he was in charge......

She saw the funny side.

And then today there was a story wherein Nanjing Normal University students kidnapped and held their principal to ransom for 30 hours, he only being released when riot police with shields, sprays and batons crashed the campus. Maybe this IS a dangerous job after all! The stabbing story is in Chinese media, the ransom one when I looked was very firmly not.

 

Monday 7^th June, 2021 1830

On Saturday I needed to get some medicines. It had been two months since the last time and stocks were either low or exhausted. As usual this term, I didn't want to do anything but sit at my desk and watch downloads. However, seeing as Jody had left her medical card on my desk for me to pay with, that gave me impetus. That was going to save me about 500¥.

As I was going to make a roast dinner I needed to go to the local supermarket and being the lazy sod that I am, I thought I would give the new pharmacy in there a shot. I always take the little sheet of paper you get in the medicine boxes, the one that warns of side effects and such, to pharmacies here because patently otherwise I'd be in there hours trying to make myself understood.

The girl didn't understand the paper and kept telling me “mayo”. Hacked off and by now laden with potatoes and other vegetables, I grumpily went all the way to the usual chemist. I bought that much they gave me a gift of a pink umbrella (shut that door!) which of course I gave to Jody, who was made up with it.

Last night I Googled “OTC” because that had been plastered everywhere in the first chemist. To me, OTC stood for “over the counter” but my research revealed the reason they couldn't help me. It's a traditional Chinese medicine place! Now you may consider me an idiot for not realising that in the first place but TCM chemists always have jars of dried seahorses, scorpions and creepy-crawlies they grind up to make their potions alongside normal-looking packets. This one didn't. Ah well, Jody got an umbrella at least!

As a reward I had an Amish Sunday and today did the BHG run. I wish I could simply go to a Greggs and buy them because making sausage rolls is a chore. At least I have enough for two weeks' lunches once again. Well I will in about ten minutes when they are baked.

Finally summer is here, the past couple of days it has been in the very high twenties, which believe it or not, after five years here suffering the majority of the year in the cold, is a touch unpleasant. The humidity is very low (hence the dry skin) so no sweating but for now it is unusual weather for us. Flies and mosquitoes will be making an unwelcome appearance before long.

 

Saturday 5^th June, 2021 1500

I hate stress. Well, very few people like it although some admittedly thrive on it. One of the wonderful things that have come out of my coming to China has been the reduction in stress in my life. Hair-pulling annoyances aplenty to be sure but stress has been blissfully at a minimum.

So I am not particularly happy at present.

Firstly the health code on the phone packed up but fortunately, and mysteriously, has now reinstated itself.

Secondly replacing my passport has presented its own difficulties, perhaps I should have foreseen them but I didn't. With luck my replacement will be in Shanghai in about ten days or so, in which case it could be fine because it may be that the new one will return from Beijing in time for my Holiday Head to be on. I am really not confident about jetting off all over China using a bit of paper. Oh, and the cost of transferring the residence permit from passport to passport? 400¥ - the same as it costs to get a new one! I could cut the old one out and glue it in myself for nothing!

Thirdly, I am unable to book any flights/trains because I have no passport details. I could probably book hotels but that is scant comfort. And what the hell do I do if it never arrives in time at all?

Fourthly, I still can't log in to my banking. Don't worry, they say, you can always call us and do whatever you need over the phone. Well thank God for Skype but if they don't fix this before I start spending I am going to lose track of my balance very quickly. In theory there is no problem. A rough estimation of flights and hotels says I will spend approximately half of what I have saved this year in my UK account. Plus my Chinese account will have a respectable balance.

But I am one of those people who really doesn't like to travel without having some serious back-up cash behind them, always have been. I will never forget my horror that first year when I went to Shanghai, hotel and flights prepaid and effectively £1,000 to last (I think) five days. You would think that would be ample but it wasn't and over the succeeding years the “Bank Of Pudong” has bailed me me out each summer. Last summer was a Red Letter occasion because I was self-sufficient!

This year however, I am looking at being away for a full month and staying in seven hotels, all of them high-end. Ah well, whatever will be will be as they say.

Once again I find myself completely unmotivated to do anything on a Saturday, following a gruelling Friday at work. And the kids wanted me to go to a cookery day tomorrow???

This may sound odd but I saw a post on Facebook this morning from an old shipmate. It made me happy. He posted that he had fallen twice in two days and the second time sustained bruising – and he never touches alcohol. It isn't just me! He's going to the quack so i hope he posts the result. Mine are usually the result of stubbing a toe or similar, although I confess there was one I can solely attribute to being legless!

And if I do actually get to holiday, I'm rather hoping that herd of elephants that has invaded Kunming are still there at the end of July, I'd love to see them.

 

Wednesday 2^nd June, 2021 1700

That was the longest ever English corner at 3½ hours! Sunday was lost. Gratifyingly, the entire affair was conducted in English but annoyingly, having asked me to prepare an activity, they never needed it. Took me an hour of online shopping at Tesco to put it together too!

I did go to McDonald's afterwards. I'm not quite sure what I had though, it was either a new menu item or a special guest appearance. The girl who speaks English explained what it was – patty, cheese, the usual bits plus barbecue sauce from somewhere – could have been Morocco for all I remember. I wasn't keen on it though and left half. Should have stuck with a Big Mac or the fish. I wonder if Just Eat will be coming to this area soon?

I am happy to report that Our Man In Shanghai did today visit the British Consulate to apply for my new passport. I am not so happy that he threw a spanner in the works by sending me something that I haven't found on the GovUK website. Apparently when the new one arrives I have ten days from date of issue to get my residence permit transferred from my old passport to my new one. A royal pain in the backside, previously you simply carried both passports until the permit was renewed. Particularly galling for me because my permit runs out early September and I really don't want to apply for a new one early because they won't (I don't think) add on the unexpired time to the new one. Not sure what's going to happen now, yes if I give them my passport for four weeks I can travel domestically on the chitty they give you but somehow if I want to go abroad I don't think I will get very far on an A5 photocopy.

And today's class (which was responsible for dragging me to English corner) now want me to attend their cookery day this Sunday! I hate disappointing my kids but I really had to refuse for a few reasons:

A) It's from 0900-1600

B) They almost certainly wouldn't have the equipment for western cooking at the venue

100. I don't fancy spending seven hours cooking, I don't even do that at home.

Nearly forgot. After being notified of my passport application being lodged and chided for not providing my address for the UK debit card

(which I had, seeing as it's my address here) and now worried the payment might be refused, I tried to log on to my bank account to ensure the money had been taken.

I ended up doubting myself because every time I entered the 1^st and 3^rd digit of my security code I got a “quack quack oops!” there is a problem with the connection, please try again. Not “there were problems with the log in details”, this was something I have never seen. Unsuccessful after many attempts, I went to school.

Tried again on my return and the same thing. I was beginning to think I was developing Alzheimers and had the wrong code. Contact the bank. I could call them and be on hold for an hour or I could live chat online. Except you can't unless you are logged in! Then I spotted that you can message them on Facebook so I clicked that. No need to message. The second message in was someone going ballistic over the same thing and the bank apologising.

At least I'm not losing my mind (well not too much of it anyway). Hope it's not ransomware – that would really screw any possibility of summer holidays.

Alice Wuhu (going to start her PhD in Hainan in September and who is coming to Yunnan with me) wanted to borrow my flat for a week on 23^rd July, would I still be here? Yes, it's my last day of exams. She has signed up for some course here in Lanzhou.

Passport issues notwithstanding, could be perfect. One big happy family for a week with me and two girls then Alice and I off to Yunnan for a fortnight. And I can time our leaving day so I get to Suzhou, Anhui (important distinction as there are two Suzhous) for the best days to see Joan, before my Pilgrimage To Pudong.

But flying from here to Kunming is not good, neither is the train. The train takes just over 24 hours and arrives around midnight – I do not like to pay for an hotel room and get half the time. Flights are either arriving late night also or leaving here at 0720, meaning leaving home at five with a pre-ordered car/taxi. My preferred flights are lunchtime-ish but business class at 0720 is 1030¥ yet on the lunchtime job is 2860¥. That's half the cost of a return Shanghai – London economy ticket!