Thursday 30th July, 2015             2100

I went for the meal with Lynda on Tuesday along with Sophia from the little school, Peter (maths teacher at a high school in Meilong) and his student Galley - who was instantly renamed by the author as Kitchen to highlight what a ridiculous choice of English name it was.

The restaurant was indeed new but I  suspect they bought second hand air conditioning because it was none too cool. The food however was reasonable and there were three dishes I could eat. One was scallops, another prawns and the other I was told was beef but am convinced was pork. The waitresses had nice uniforms too and the one on the right of the photo I took rather grabbed my eye, which was why I took it!

Try as I might I simply couldn’t get out of going to KTV and even had to sing a bloody song. What really annoyed me was that every song I asked them to pull up on the computer that I thought I had a chance with - wasn’t there.

Yesterday and today I played games at the small school for two classes per day with the final brace tomorrow. I confess I have struggled, not just with the having to stand for an hour and a half but also the oppressive heat. In fairness each classroom has a large a/c unit but they struggle with a roomful of hot bodies and this year I am unused to the heat, which is now in the mid thirties and set to remain so for the foreseeable future.

I did think I was going to have Saturday free before leaving on holidays on Sunday but I just had a phone call. I thought that perhaps this year they had decided they didn’t want me but the Charity school in the mountains asked me to come. It has to be Saturday or two weeks hence, and doubtless they will want me then as well for a morning. So Joan and I have an early morning pickup - 0730 - on the one day I thought I could relax. Still, it’s for charity.

That means however that this will be the last entry for a while. I will still be online at times but there will be no blog until I return, then I will be seeing a little more of China for a while, which I am quite looking forward to. I will meet old friends and see new sights - maybe even this place, who knows?

 http://www.foreignercn.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=7852:shenyang-guai-po-magic-slope&catid=115:travel-in-liaoning&Itemid=265

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZgzduQEjCM

Tuesday 28th July, 2015                        1300

Yesterday was a breakfast run and I left at the same time as Joan. Until Friday she is teaching one to one with one of the kids from Helen’s school who is so far behind it’s not worth him attending, then in the afternoons at a summer school run by one of our teachers.

She takes the 7 bus in but cycles to the west gate, said bike was a gift from Ollivier when he left. He had thought he could sell it back to the shop where he bought it for a decent sum but was only offered 50y. Instead he gave it away, although Joan did buy him a bottle of wine by way of thanks.

I was taking the 29 but pass by the west gate on the way, so we rode together, I stayed a little behind her and to her left. Every now and again she glanced back to see where I was, which prompted me to remark to her that she couldn’t possibly be Chinese. When she asked why, I told her the Chinese don’t look, they just assume everyone will avoid hitting them!

There were a surprising number on the bus very early into the trip, including one relatively large and stocky but gormless looking bald man who sat at the front in the side-facing seats. I noticed he kept looking at me and giving an idiotic grin but hoped it was directed at the person in front of me and he knew them. I never acknowledged him. A few minutes later he rose and made his way to the rear of the bus where I was. A woman nearby admonished him curtly and then he turned to me. He held out an empty plastic container. Not only did he have mental problems but he was a beggar as well. I refused him money but he persisted. Again I refused and then he gestured for a cigarette. If a 1y cigar would get rid of him, I decided he could have one, otherwise one of us was possibly going to get hurt - and I wasn’t entirely sure which of us!

Satisfied, he found a seat opposite me and directly behind the woman who had berated him earlier. She must have been familiar with him, for she spent the rest of the trip leaning as far forward out of her seat as possible. In a country with very little state aid one has to wonder how people such as this manage to live, I can’t see him being very successful at begging, most people would be frightened away.

Later that day Joan came back and appeared despondent. I asked her what the matter was and she told me. The students had been given tests that day. I had seen the paper she had set for her class and I have to say it was an incredibly easy multiple guess and fill in the space type of thing. Many of her students had failed even this simple task and she seemed to blame herself. Apparently the boys are all naughty and don’t pay any attention so I reminded her that teachers can only open the door to knowledge, the students have to step through that door - you can’t force them.

Then what should have been a bombshell (but wasn’t) came. Every other student in the school had passed their class tests with 100% scores. Surprise, surprise. Far be it for me to suggest that perhaps the other teachers provided the answers or amended the papers when they were marked but Joan was told her students must retake the same test today and the school owner required 100% across the board. Let the parents think it was money well spent sending them to summer school because little Ping did so terribly well.

I sent an email on Saturday to John (the summer camp school owner) telling him not to leave everything to the last minute, one of his handy traits. He had asked, nay begged, me to go and play games with his six classes of new students, one lesson each class. I agreed to do two a day for three days. Blow me if I didn’t get a text yesterday morning on the bus asking if I could do two later that day. No I couldn’t, why had he left it so late when I specifically reminded him days before? He hadn’t read his emails since returning from Hefei last Wednesday! I give up. It is now arranged for me to do it tomorrow, Thursday and Friday and for once all three pairs of classes are back to back with no huge breaks in between.

The rains seem to have well and truly departed, the 10 day forecast is wall to wall 35C highs, in stark contrast to the moans I hear of how chilly it is in the UK. I am debating whether to bike to town tonight, Lynda is departing for a job soon and wants to treat me to dinner at a new restaurant near the No 1 hospital. Unfortunately she and her friends also plan to go on to KTV (karaoke) afterwards and I hate the places. I will do my best to get out of it but out of courtesy may end up having to go for an hour.

Sunday 26th July, 2015                         0115

Yes it’s late but in my defence I did have a kip this afternoon, although I am rather hoping to get up early enough to not only give Joan a lift to the bus stop but also go into town in time for breakfast.

I did go yesterday for some supplies and made a cheesy Captain’s/Admiral’s pie for dinner. I must remember in future to remove the mussels from the frozen mixed seafood, they rather overpower all the other subtle tastes one is supposed to enjoy. It was however filling and nutritious and a welcome boost after the starvation of summer camp.

Tonight was more simple, hot baguette with cheese and bunion, I don’t see why I should spend ages cooking every night and then having loads of washing up the next day. In fact tomorrow will be prawn salad wraps - nice and easy.

Anyway, back to the bus into town. As I think I have mentioned, my preferred seat is the very rear right of the bus. With so few students here I am virtually guaranteed the seat, although there must be enough on campus that justify a few shops and restaurants in the business street remaining open - at least for now.

Now, for those unaware, the Chinese are addicted to their mobile phones. If the networks were shut down for an hour the entire country would grind to a halt. If you are standing talking to someone, whilst you are in mid-sentence if their phone rings they will not even ask for a by your leave, they will simply answer the phone with a “wei, nihao!” leaving you looking like a spare part at a wedding. And God forbid YOU get a text message mid-conversation because they will stop and ask if you are going to answer it! They seem stunned when you tell them  yes, later, after we have finished talking.

Well, I am forever telling my students of the perils of phone addiction. Not the playing of games (although that’s bad enough) but the fact they are utterly oblivious to their surroundings when they are replying to a text or QQ message when they are crossing a busy road. I may as well try to fart against a force 10 gale.

So, halfway between the university and the train and bus stations, there is a remote rural stop. A woman in her early thirties was at the stop (which serves two other bus numbers) and she was squatting on her heels clearly sending a message to someone. Although you are supposed to hail the bus the drivers do have a little consideration, so this one tooted and slowed on approach. No response from the woman, who was completely engrossed in her “conversation”.

That is, until the bus speeded up again and where I was sitting became level with her. At this point she suddenly looked up, realised she wanted the bus to stop and frantically waved. Sadly for her the driver wasn’t looking in his mirror (or if he was perhaps he thought stuff it I did more than I needed anyway) and I laughed aloud at the woman gesticulating wildly in our wake. It is a pity the 29 runs every 10 minutes instead of every two hours as some rural buses do. Then at least one person may have learnt that a text message is not something which must be addressed immediately and at all costs. This is a tale I shall relate to my pupils next term.

Those of you who are in contact with me on Facebook will already know this next part so you can skip it.

On Thursday I asked Joan what the noise was outside, it sounded like a baby crying. There are still Chinese teachers here so it was feasible. Yesterday though I heard the baby crying again in the morning and went to investigate.

I located it on the floor above - third floor. It was a tiny kitten (see photo, the “big one” is still a kitten itself!) and I have no idea how it climbed all the way up but plainly it was too frightened to emulate the Grand Old Duke Of York’s men because it was going neither up nor down.

I already have four bloody cats so what was I supposed to do? This thing doesn’t even look big enough to be away from its mother yet here it was all alone and crying.

I now have five cats.

I haven’t named it yet because I can’t sex it and I would defy any vet to do so with the benefit of a simple external examination. I did expect a lot of hissing and snarling when I introduced it to the rest of the gang but instead they all leapt from their lofts to have a sniff and inspect the newcomer, who seemed both bemused and unconcerned. That lasted an hour or so before Zorro (in the photo) who is the bully boy kitten, decided he wanted to devour the baby. Despite a few smacks on the arse which deterred him for some minutes, the rest of yesterday saw me hearing plaintive cries, going to investigate and finding Zorro holding the baby up by the back of the neck.

A harsh induction perhaps but today everyone seems to be getting along fine. The little one, despite my concerns, can eat the food and even jumps up onto the rim of the huge water bowl and there is no fighting.

I must be mad.

Thursday 23rd July, 2015                      1600

The final lunch was the usual hurried Chinese affair and if what they provided was their idea of catering to the headmaster’s request for a special lunch for the final one then I shudder to think how they could make it worse. I drank beer and watched while the kids ate yet mystifyingly left their plates of lovely looking prawns virtually untouched. THEY seemed to have a special lunch.

Soon it was “everybody out” as the coach was in the car park. I duly loaded my case in the baggage hold and boarded. I then spent half an hour alone on the bus (admittedly in the cool) whilst the students were fallen in and given a pep talk by the head instructor. I could have had another ale.

I think I managed to nod off for ten minutes on the trip to the museum and by the time we got there the temperature was roasting. Besides my legs protesting, the exhibits were excruciatingly boring for me so I found a small shop which sold ice creams and from whence I could get outside (and back in again) to have a smoke. I had to chuckle because on entry all our hand bags were put through a scanner, yet there I was, eating a lolly and looking at a clear exit to the main road, from which anyone could enter without passing through security!

Just before the group left, the kids were shown the museum shop. Some nice stuff on display but anything decent had a large price tag. Two of the girls very sweetly bought me some cheap trinkets. No idea what to do with them but I will cherish them.

And then it was off on the long trip home. Sleep evaded me, I’m not sure if I could have nodded off even if the children had been quiet, and so as we neared home I was feeling jaded. Having arranged to be dropped off first at McDonald’s (and also to meet Joan there for our dinner) I was not best pleased when it became apparent the driver had his own agenda. I expressed my feelings to the headmaster when I had to alight at his school and then hail a taxi - it wasn’t the cost that annoyed me but the fact it was unnecessary.

My bad mood deepened (remember I didn’t enjoy any of the past four days and had eaten but once in those four days) and remained black until I saw Joan arrive at McD in a taxi, when it lightened considerably. I had missed her. Happy ending?

Not on your Nelly!

Halfway through my Big Mac I happened to put it down on the box upside down. The underside of the bun was covered in blue mould - and I had eaten 50% of it! Furious, I decided against causing a scene and simply plonked it down at the serving counter in front of the duty manageress, gave her a look and went back to Joan. There followed much talking in the kitchen and a little later my money was refunded, along with the (translated) explanation that the buns were not out of date so they couldn’t understand how it happened. What I don’t understand is why the person cooking the damned food doesn’t inspect it first. I will go back but when I see the general manager words will be had.

A thoroughly miserable and punishing four days ended the same way it had started.

Wednesday 22nd July, 2015                             1000

Yesterday morning I had just risen and was sat naked in the chair awaiting my laptop booting up, preparatory to going in the bathroom. There came a single knock on the door and almost immediately the door flew open and there stood a chambermaid. What do you do when you are sitting there in your birthday suit? The woman plainly hadn’t seen me, so all I could think to say was “What are you doing?” (With hindsight, good morning would have been more comical!) and then her eyes rested on me, I could see my state of complete undress register in her brain, she emitted an “oooh” and rapidly beat a retreat, slamming the door behind her. My room wasn’t cleaned at all that day.

If the headmaster hadn’t actually mentioned his planned trip to visit a friend long before I said I was leaving for home, I would have thought I had been turned over! He never went yesterday - turns out the friend also owns a school and has been developing a new programme, which our man was keen to see and perhaps, copy. The programme is not yet ready.

I said fine, I will get my own taxi. Easier said than done. Taxis won’t come here as it’s so remote, so in order to hail one it is a twenty minute walk to the main gate (probably a forty minute limp for me) and then pray one happens to be passing. With the promise that we could look at the menu and order something different, I opted for the path of least resistance. I was quite happy to pay for a la carte food, I simply needed to eat before I became unwell.

Somehow I managed to walk to the activities area (no mean feat) both in the morning and afternoon. Utterly boring as I don’t understand a word being said but I put in appearances, although in the afternoon the mercury got up to over thirty and with oppressive humidity, I decamped for the refuge of my air-conditioned room to dry off.

I wish I had known from the outset that the place had a menu with pictures. Pre-dinner I picked steamed dumplings, sweet(ish) pork and a herby pancake. Far too much food came so the kids had a bonanza but the food was not only edible but pretty tasty apart from finding a dead fly in the dumplings - that got me two free beers from the manageress. If there is nothing for me at lunch it matters not, I will be fine until we get back this evening.

Last night was the (what seems to be) traditional campfire party. The kids got to sing or dance or act for their peers, the instructors sang and of course the children wanted me to sing an English song. For some reason the organisers decided my song would close the party, by which time it was approaching ten o’clock.

Setting my alarm for eight this morning was a defeat of hope against reality. After yesterday I had at least taken the precaution of deadlocking the door in case any over-zealous women tried a repeat (I did get some rather knowing smiles from the staff all day, I am guessing the intruder took five minutes flat to inform all and sundry of what happened) but nonetheless was awoken shortly after six with the cleaners shouting at each other in close proximity to me, followed by the kids bellowing to each other. I will be glad to get back to the relative peace of cats fighting in the next room at night.

The group (there are 34 children this time) are up at the activity centre. I intended to follow them up even though my legs are killing me but when I went outside it was as hot and humid as yesterday. It meant I would be soaked before I got there so I told the headmaster I would be in my room - it’s not as if I am contributing anything to the activities anyway.

Our coach will arrive to take us away from this exile immediately after lunch and I am informed we will visit a museum in Hefei on the way back. I have already arranged to be dropped off at McDonald’s when we get back to Chizhou!

Monday 20th July, 2015                 1150

After I posted my last blog I made my noodles. Halfway through eating them there was a knock at my door. I was astonished to see, when I opened it, the drill instructor standing there with a beaming smile and a plastic bag, which he gave to me. The contents were hot, he rubbed his belly and left.

He had obviously gone in his car to find a KFC-like place, bought a chickenburger, some chicken pieces and fries, simply because I never ate anything that day! When I get a quiet moment with him and the headmaster I will endeavour to pay for the food but it does go to show that on one hand the Chinese can be incredibly rude and ignorant and on the other they can be amazingly thoughtful and kind. It was just a pity that having eaten half the noodles I could only take a few bites of what had been bought for me.

I went to sleep at half past midnight, having set my alarm for eight. Chinese breakfast is not something for me. Though I may not have kids rooming with me they still wake me up. At some ridiculous time some of them rose and were conducting conversations shouted from one end of the corridor to the other. At eight the headmaster phoned to ask if I was going down to breakfast - no thanks unless it’s full English - and then just as I went into the bathroom at five past eight the maid came to make up the room! What????

As if that wasn’t bad enough, once I had showered and let them in, all they did was give the bathroom a wipe. The teacup wasn’t washed, the glass I drank wine from was untouched, the bed unmade and the ashtray not emptied. Now the children have to clean their own rooms (there are two to a room) and the instructors inspect them each morning but I really don’t expect to have to do much the same in a paying establishment even if I am not personally paying. I am quite sure I could find a classier location for one of these events and probably for not a lot more money per head. The profit-based culture here takes absolutely no consideration of customer satisfaction, instead they are content for people to come once and tell all their friends to not use it, the population is so vast  it is in may ways a bottomless pit of custom.

The children spent the morning playing war games, togged up with hats to sense if they were shot and each given an electronic assault rifle. Most of them hadn’t a clue about taking cover and sniping but they appeared to have a ball doing it.

1225

Having been assured lunch was better than dinner I was looking forward to being able to at least eat something for lunch. Lunch is now two bottles of beer in my room.

The kids again had decent-looking food, we had pigswill again. I didn’t even take a seat, just informed the headmaster this wasn’t for me (he suggested we order something and pay for it but I rejected that because it would have taken too long to arrive and I suggested we do that for dinner - and I will get him to come with me in plenty of time beforehand) and that the situation was intolerable. Flaming heck, simple egg fried rice or chow mien would have been SOMETHING.

There are occasions when my tiny appetite comes in handy and this is one of them. Had I known it was going to be as awful as last year I would have stocked up on snacks and maybe brought some boiled eggs with me. Worse, it’s like being on a desert island, I have no cost-effective way of getting to an outside restaurant. And lunch must have been really  amazing for everyone else because I can hear our group outside on the parade ground already, less than ten minutes after they went into the restaurant.

If I am still here next year and they want me to come, yes I will come but by God I will come prepared.

2010

When it got to seven this evening I was not in the best of moods. I had decided that probably our group had already eaten and nobody had told me to go down. I had managed to get the restaurant to agree earlier to provide the aubergine and mince dish (more on that later) but had worked myself into a lather. I decided I was leaving tomorrow and making my own way back independently a day early. It’s not as if I am being paid, so why allow myself to be subjected to conditions such as this?

Anyway, I was wrong. What had happened was the kids had an activity where they had to be the “button boy” and stand on top of a “mast” (actually a metal piling as you will see from the photos) and then jump off in harness to be lowered by the instructors. I watched the first one do it and left. Since my hard landing from 21 feet in 1982 heights are not my thing and watching it sent shivers up my spine. Best I left.

Anyway, they were delayed because a lad (I nicknamed him WC as we had to stop the coach on the way here for him) froze atop the structure and it took half an hour to coax him down.

Feeling guilty about my thoughts, I went down for dinner, the food must have been put out at least an hour before because yes, there was the dish I requested, but everything was stone cold. I informed the headmaster I was off tomorrow and I meant it.

I relented when he said he was going into town tomorrow to visit friends and would take me in his taxi to the bus station. It has now been agreed that he will drop me at Pizza Hut for lunch, I can then buy a spare one  for this place later and maybe even have a cold breakfast on our last day. I will not need to darken the “restaurant” again other than to grab a cold bottle. I am such a softie.

A new group from Shanghai arrived this morning and get this - they are booked in but there are no rooms for the children! As I type they are setting up bivouacs in the car park and someone has already been to raid my room for the spare duvet and pillow! Remember what I said about profit-driven? I will lay odds the kids’ parents paid the same amount as ours.

Sunday 19th July, 2015                               1210

Just making a start after arriving at the ecological park before “assembly” at 1220 followed by a much needed lunch. Plus the internet in my room isn’t working so I am waiting for someone to come and sort it.

I was on time this morning but this time the coach wasn’t. The people overseeing the kids are the same company as last year and I must say the coach was really comfortable and big enough to give me two seats to myself. As tired as I was I still couldn’t sleep even with the seat reclined, possibly due in large part to excited kids.

The accommodation is hardly five star but I have stayed in far worse and I have my own room - no inconsiderate kids to wake me up in the mornings this time. The problem at the moment is that the wired internet doesn’t work (although it does on the repair man’s laptop!) and so I am waiting for someone to return with a router so perhaps I might get wifi. But why do I get the feeling I am not going to get any lunch? It is now 1310.

1715

I never got lunch. Eventually a router was brought in order for me to get connected to the web. Later the kids were taken miles away to do all sorts and the owner and I walked to watch them. I can honestly say that’s the furthest I have walked since Chinese new year and my legs are telling me all about it.

The owner informed me he had been “cheated” again because apparently lunch was of the same standard as last year - crap. I really hope not because at least last year I could buy biscuits to survive, here I can’t even see a shop although I did spot pot noodles on sale. It may come to that, I will find out shortly when dinner is served. One thing for sure, I will not have trouble sleeping tonight! And the air-conditioning works and there is the CCTV news in English on my TV.

The place is what one might term a project under construction and to say their website has been doctored to make it appear much more luxurious would not be an understatement. Another gripe is the soap in the bathroom. It is minuscule and I am expected to shower in the morning with two poxy sachets of body wash, something I hate. Thank God for the Hilton and the soap bars I pinched from them last time I stayed.

But this isn’t about the adults, the kids’ parents have each paid 1,300y to send them here. I really hope they have a blast for the four days.

1915

Well my dinner is indeed pot noodles. As we entered the dining hall I looked at the children’s dishes. Not particularly appetising but there was one dish that looked promising, either sweet pork or crispy pork. The adults had a private room.

The four dishes (apart from steamed rice) were sweetcorn, cucumber and awful rubbery mushrooms, cauliflower and a plate of “pork” that was actually 97% fat. I know I am a little fussy these days but there was no way I was eating that swill. My enquiries as to why we didn’t have the pork crispy dish elicited the response that the adults haven’t paid to be there and the students have so their food is better! I did opine that were it not for the adults (not myself of course) then the students wouldn’t even have been taken there. Business acumen is not big in China. So pot noodles in the room it is. The owner has said he will take a look at the menu tomorrow lunchtime - I have absolutely no intention of finding out what horrors they have at breakfast - and I have told him I don’t mind paying for my food. Even egg and tomato or the aubergine dish would get me by but pot noodles??