Wednesday 30th November, 2016                       1440

I have stayed in a fair few of the Hilton Group’s hotels in China now (mainly Hilton and Doubletree) and the two things I could always count on were a comfortable mattress and something approaching a western breakfast. There are always niggles and anyone paying top dollar to stay somewhere is entitled to the appropriate expectations.

Hampton by Hilton, Qilihe Bridge failed those expectations miserably and in so doing have damaged their cachet in my eyes.

The room itself was fine, roomy and yes, the usual standard of mattresses. English news and western film channel on the telly, which annoyingly switched off just before midnight. There was a very limited selection of western food on the room service menu, at a guess two soups and four main courses, one of which was the Hampton sandwich but with no indication as to what was actually in it! I hadn’t eaten all day but nonetheless, armed with a bottle of red and some jing jo I decided to fast until having a delicious breakfast in the morning, for which I had been charged 40y on arrival.

No bathrobe, no TV guide, no disposable razor (there’s always a Philip Thomas Roth razor to go with the Philip Thomas Roth toiletries) and annoyingly, no bar soap - not even the little one you get by the sink and which I always use to shower with, hating gel as I do. As for the internet, it would have been quicker to write a letter by hand, given the speed of sending emails.

I first had misgivings about the soundproofing of the rooms late last night when I could hear every door closing on my floor. No traffic noise to be sure, sixteen floors up but not much use if you can hear your neighbour fart. And indeed in the morning I was awoken by a TV from an adjoining room. The guest didn’t have it on loud, in fact it was quite low but it may as well have been on my bedside table.

So I got up earlier than intended, showered but didn’t shave, and headed down to the dining room famished. My heart sank as a waiter showed me where the coffee and soya milk dispensers were because all the bains marie were occupied by such delights as dumplings, congee, stewed cabbage and probably pig brains etc - everything any self respecting Chinese could possibly want for breakfast.

Do you have anything English? Err, yes, fried eggs! He showed me a beaming chef standing behind a plate piled high with fried eggs, done the Chinese way - smash em and turn em. They could easily have been cooked last week for all I knew. And who on earth considers fried eggs on their own to be breakfast? Even sunny side up?? I walked out after commenting that this was not acceptable. Unsurprisingly, nobody offered me my 40y back, just gave me inane grins.

I am sure they were unperturbed over the prospect of getting a bad review on TripAdvisor. On my return home I discovered they aren’t even listed on it! I have emailed Hilton Group expressing my displeasure and have also submitted a new entry to TripAdvisor, hopefully they will now add Hampton and my review to their site. For the Londoners reading this, that hotel is a Hugh Jampton!

Of course, with no breakfast to eat I felt quite weak after 36 hours without solid sustenance and there was no prospect of being able to get anything remotely edible either now. I was now beginning to wish I had chanced the Hampton sandwich last night.

Leaving the hotel early I went to BHG to shop for what I need tomorrow. Suzy and Sheila as usual are coming but this time unless there is a snap Chinese teachers’ meeting, Janet is coming. Janet sent me messages yesterday asking if she could bring a friend. Seeing as I have six pizza trays, plates aren’t a problem and they will have pepperoni and jalapeno pizza for main, my special chicken wings for starters and hopefully apple pie and ice cream for dessert. It’s ok, we won’t eat the food, we just want to come and see it and take pictures. WHAT?????

Who the hell says they’d love to come for dinner, not eat and just take photos?? Needless to say, she has been left in no doubt that if they come they will most assuredly be eating it unless they don’t find it to their taste!

Earlier I spent an hour boiling the apples Harriett gave me last Thursday and then getting my hands covered in dough and my first ever apple pie looks to be almost baked. After all the effort I will cry tomorrow if it turns out to be a disaster. It looks the part though!

Tuesday 29th November, 2016                           2020

Monday morning was a wrench. With the alarm set for 0500 I never hit the hay until midnight because I wasn’t tired. Three mornings of not having to get up had come home to roost. I think it was nearer two o’clock before I actually fell asleep and about ten minutes before the alarm when my bladder forced me out of bed. When the alarm did sound, I really wanted to hit “snooze” but realised if I did that there was a danger I would simply continue doing so. So I hauled my carcase upright and staggered to the bathroom.

Luckily I had spent all weekend scouring for topics on the internet so never needed to do any “work” before leaving.

Having eaten lunch AND dinner on Sunday (a rarety for me) on Monday I polished off the last of the macaroni. I had made two trays and I wasn’t about to waste any. Today was one of my easier days with just two periods this afternoon, nothing else to do bar stick some clothes in the washing machine when I got home and stick a frozen curry shepherds pie in the oven for dinner.

However, when I got home at 1730, as always before opening my front door (well I only have one door!), I waited for the digital electricity meter to flash up how many units I had left. It took an inordinately long time to do so and whilst waiting, my elderly neighbours emerged on their way out, all togged up against the cold. They saw me and guessed what I was doing and indicated what presumably is in Lanzhoese “mayo”.

Great. No power. As it was only twilight I hadn’t noticed the campus was in darkness. No water either. As I sat in the darkening gloom Harriett sent me a text with a message from Brenda. Tomorrow is the annual fire extinguisher inspection (I have two) and could I take them to the security guards at the gate by 1130 tomorrow.

I replied that if the power and water returned soon I might do that, otherwise mine would be late as I would be in an hotel. Why? What happened? I told her. Sometime later she sent a message that students had told her it would be fixed in 5 or 6 six hours. That meant midnight. I had not eaten all day, I wasn’t about to fry a shepherds pie on the hob any more than I was going to sit in utter darkness and freezing cold all night. I have yet to find candles and never bought a rechargeable desk lamp because I thought what with being in a capital city I wouldn’t be subjected to the regular “maintenance” and bad weather power cuts Chizhou gets. I have a torch but that’s for emergencies.

So tomorrow I will be the bad boy by returning my extinguishers late (I’m going to have breakfast and then go shopping for my dinner party Thursday first) and I really don’t care. I waited until 1900 and then left and took a taxi to the Hampton hotel, part of the Hilton Group. I couldn’t check the prices or get a deal online (naturally with no power) and certainly I could have gone to a cheaper hotel but ever since I saw how easy it was to get to from home I have harboured thoughts of just going there for breakfast, an English breakfast. That in itself is 48y but for a very occasional treat?

Anyway, I checked in. I have a large room with two big single beds which cost the jaw-dropping amount of 468y including breakfast and oh boy, will I be having BREAKFAST!

And of course, because this is me I am talking about, as I was taking my room card and bags to the lift, I received a text from Harriett saying the power had just come back! Well it was too late, I mean how do you go back to reception and tell them you made a mistake? I suppose you could but would YOU do it?

Sod it. I now had breakfast in my head, no work tomorrow and yes, a huge amount to squander but it was done. So here I am with a big TV and cable channels and I have kicked everything off. I was going to order room service for dinner (28y for a Hampton sandwich but it doesn’t say what’s in it, Hawaiian chicken etc) but I decided to fast. Why? So just maybe I can be a perfect pig at breakfast! I brought a bottle of wine and jing jo with me so I don’t need to use the bar with its inflated prices.

Nice hotel (and another Trip Advisor review coming up) but bugger me, no bar soap and only a little tube of gel and no disposable razor. For the price I at least expect a razor even though with a day off I don’t need to shave. I just hope they can input my Hhonors membership number in the morning - I forgot I had my membership card in my wallet!

I am comforting myself by reminding myself that what I have spent tonight I have saved more than next month by finding my cheap cigars. And I get a lovely, lovely soft mattress to sleep on - Hilton has the best mattresses in China. I wonder if my friend Steve in Doubletree Shenyang would ship me one when they have a refurb???

Sunday 27th November, 2016                                        1300

It’s a long time since I did so little for an entire three days and no, I decided not to travel anywhere on the grounds of cost. Thanks to batch cooking and freezing I have finally been able to (and can still go longer if I wish) avoid having to shop, thereby reducing my daily expenditure. I now miss my chest freezer - that saved me untold expenditure in Chizhou, not to mention being damned handy if I didn’t have the time or inclination to cook on occasion.

Whilst catching up on what’s been happening in the world, this morning I  was stunned to read this headline:

 http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2016-11/24/content_27479522.htm

I think my overriding emotion when I read the article was sadness because every word of it is true. Here when I organise an activity in which it is possible to cheat by using the internet on a mobile phone, I tell the students to place their phones on a desk at the front of the class.

This excruciating deprivation can last as long as a seemingly interminable forty minutes, during which time the atmosphere in the room is palpably one of angst, evidenced by pained glances towards the phones every time one lights up with an incoming message that of course MUST be instantly read, and probably answered.

I am sure they view me as a freak. My steam-driven, basic mobile purely handles texts and calls, I have not paid for internet access (I have my laptop, why do I need it on my phone?) and although I get cross when the internet is down (hasn’t happened since I went on a POP server) I can go all day without checking emails until I get home again. My annoyance at having no internet though is because it is my sole form of entertainment at home, the TV remains unplugged, and of course finding news items for topics and sourcing ideas for said activities. They also think I am weird because I don’t have a QQ account (Chinese sort of Twitter I think) and prefer to communicate by email rather than IM.

They are seriously addicted to their phones. I shall stick to booze and smokes.

My “bedbug”/allergy problem has lessened. I still have the red spots but they are not as angry as before and the itching drives me bonkers. I don’t think the antihistamines have helped much. I also still have terribly dry skin. Switching to Dove soap was a waste of time and I now find myself each evening applying an all-over coating of cream which is only marginally effective. My gift from a student in Chizhou of a telescopic back-scratcher is a wonderful thing!

To end on a lighter note (and I have been meaning to mention it for some time) I can inform you that Ollivier (whose initial plan on returning to France was to open a shop) will soon become a fully-fledged gendarme at the age of 37. I look forward one day to reading in Paris Match that he has locked Coco up for being a scold!

Friday 25th November, 2016                                 1915

Today’s handy tip: If you ever see a recipe for green pea and ham soup that suggests not using a blender, ignore it!

Although edible, last night’s was by far the most unsatisfactory I have ever made. I did however redeem myself with the macaroni cheese. In fact Suzy, Sheila and Harriett ensured that all that was left was a single forkfull on Sheila’s plate - AND she was needlessly apologetic for wasting that little.

So that’s Brenda and Harriett “done” with just Janet to host, then I will have treated all the people who have helped with my settling in problems. I am hoping to do pizzas next week, I have the sauce for the base (must make my own one day but it is actually cheap to buy) and a jar of jalapenos.

I asked Suzy to check on where the pepperoni had got to (along with Paxo stuffing and some stock cubes) and she did so today. The vendors haven’t despatched them so I have had to find other sellers but what really annoys me is that if they don’t have what you order they simply don’t bother to tell you. If the shop names on the site were in English I would keep a list of those who have done it to me and make every effort to avoid patronising them again. The ones that do tell you there will be a delay are at least honest and give you a chance to order elsewhere if you are in a hurry.

It would seem that I will remain teaching on east campus next term. Janet told me they were discussing my schedule and I think incorporating my classes into undergraduate degree programmes. That would explain the excited reaction when I was introduced at the show on Monday! Also, my email with my suggestions has been translated and circulated to the powers so who knows, in my twilight years I may just get to be instrumental in expanding a new venture for this place?

I would like to say that I have been bone idle today and indeed would have but for the fact that I never expect my guests to wash the dishes after eating. Personally I never do that myself, I have always left them to the next day but of course dishes for two courses for four people leave one hell of a mountain of washing up!

That done, I decided to have an easy dinner today. Last night finally I made a loaf of bread that was lovely and soft! Yes, I used the internet bread flour (French) and it took a lot of it, I reckon I will only get five loaves (no fishes) from 2kg but it’s cheap at 10y a kilo. So I toyed with the idea of cheese on toast for dinner. I discarded that notion and instead am having chilli enchiladas, I can always have some toast and marmalade tomorrow morning. I am just happy that at last I can make decent bread. Now I have to decide whether to use some of the other flour for the pizzas seeing as I have about 6kg of assorted types!

I reckon I must be a good customer for the little shop around the corner, what with buying all my jing jo, beer and ice cream from them. Tonight I eventually moved my backside to go there, only to find once the husband had bagged up my shop that I had left my wallet at home. I hate that but as it’s only two minutes walk I was going to come home and return with it. He brushed it off and insisted I just take my stuff, which was nice. I go there every day so it is no hardship for me to settle up tomorrow.

It’s also nice to know that for the price of a short taxi ride once a week I have no need to go to the supermarket more than once a week unless I really want to. This will be particularly good over the coming months now the mercury is rarely or barely above zero and I have no plans to go prior to Monday.

I shall have to ask Brenda to have a word with the electricity lady. I went and got a top up on the 17th and will have to go back for more on Tuesday. I have no desire to have to keep going to see her every ten days and she only opens on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then of course she will close up for God knows how long during spring festival, I will be home nearly all day running my fan heater and I need to have an ample supply or I am in trouble. Sure, we have free central heating but this flat is quite large and although it isn’t cold, it isn’t warm either so I have the little heater as well in my office.

Wednesday 23rd November, 2016                0000

I am just really waffling a bit here to pass some time, having earlier flaked out in the chair and not fallen off!) whilst watching Panorama.

Food occupies my thoughts for an inordinate amount of time here, which I find odd given that I actually eat so little of it. Probably because entertaining people for dinner is my main, if not sole, social life outside of the classroom. I can quite easily skip a day without eating - although it has absolutely no effect on my girth - but I am constantly trying to come up with menus for others.

That’s not particularly easy when “store cupboard ingredients” are anything but, as they are here. Cream? Forget it, wait a week for an online delivery. Chipotles? I had to look up the word when it appeared in an “easy” recipe! I still manage to produce passable fare though and as aforesaid I have Harriett coming on Thursday with Suzy and Sheila, the latter pair to watch at least the first two episodes of Planet Earth II. I have split peas for the soup and today my macaroni arrived. Who would think they would have to go online for something so basic? Yet here we must. I’m still waiting for pepperoni for pizzas the following week.

I made myself a roast pork and mash dinner today (pillock, forgot to buy an apple to make some sauce) and my kitchen once the veg were boiling rapidly, developed running rivers on the inside of the double glazing. This was about 1930. I decided to crack open one of the sliding windows to allow the moisture to escape. I couldn’t. Initially I thought something had broken but once I forced it open I realised it had been frozen solid.

I checked the internet and it said it was now -9C. That was a fair explanation! Having said that, with free heating (not in the kitchen obviously) the flat is comfortable. For the Chinese I should think it is heaven but for me, well I like to relax in privacy wearing just boxers and short sleeved shirt so I back it up with my rather expensive fan heater in the office.

My students in Chizhou used to chide me because all bar a few months of the year, my airconditioning was on, either cooling or heating. They rarely used theirs in their dormitories because of the cost and they pointed out that mine was free. Well it was but I asserted that even were I to have to pay, I would still use it. I see no joy in sitting at home with a down jacket and thermals on to watch Coronation Street!

So if that’s -9 tonight and the worst it gets (according to my research) is -15C then along with my little heater I shall be snug over the winter. Going outside though will be a different matter. Between my neck and belt line everything is sorted. Thermal knickers will become an urgency soon I suspect, as will possibly earmuffs. Somehow though I reckon my fears of an arctic winter will prove to be unfounded. Certainly, my first spring festival in Chizhou with two feet of snow and a flat where doors and windows allowed the cold wind to whistle through and when, despite having every item of heating I dared put on without tripping the breakers and still having to get into bed with an electric blanket to keep warm, that won’t happen here I believe. I hope!

Today I had 9 out of the 12 students who are officially in the class plus the boy who comes for fun - his mother is the campus doctor. David’s mother is the campus boss. I don’t think I have mentioned this before as I only found out last week (and David to be fair never said a dickie) but when I learnt of it I informed him that to me he was just another student and I would continue to be awful to him.

I know I compared him previously to Norman from Chizhou (terrible English but who tried oh, so hard) and I am always berating him for chatting in class but he seemed quite unfazed. Maybe he tells Mum but I am not about to be one of those teachers who shows favouritism - I never did - at least in class) to Joanna or Joan and I won’t start now. He’s a great lad as it happens, otherwise he would never have been invited to a western Wednesday.

What struck me was the increased attendance which occurs on Tuesdays, could it be because as opposed to Mondays and Thursdays it is but two periods instead of four? Or could it be that Tuesday is “activity day”?? Could be both. I must ask Suzy. A bit late in the day though for this bunch and now with my recommendations in Janet’s grubby mitts, I can only wait to see what next term holds for me. I do know I have done all I can to try to ensure my tenure on east campus becomes rather more permanent. We shall see.

This afternoon we played the picture game where students can only use chalk and blackboard to get their team to guess the answer. I went for an easy topic, cooked foods. Unbelievably, things like cheeseburger and roast chicken went unanswered whilst difficult ones such as hotpot and beef noodles were.

All good fun and if their level of English was better (as in freshmen English majors in Chizhou) I could put on so many more enjoyable activities for them but what I think is easy, for them is often disappointingly way beyond them.

Thursday 21st November, 2016               1930

I believe I might be justified in remarking that today has been a hell of a day.

An early (and most unwanted) rise this morning at 0500 with the prospect of a long day ahead. And it was cold outside when I left, my laptop told me -4C. For the morning run it appears the big (and safe) bus is back, we have had the lunatic with the small one for the past week.

Even the class went well and when we finished they wanted to take me to lunch. When we left at noon I swear it was umpteen times colder than it had been at 0645 with a freezing wind biting through our clothes. It was decided we would go to a Japanese restaurant (well the food is but not the staff because when I practised what little I remember I was met with confused stares!) but first I asked if I could go to my little cigar shop on the way. Mayo. No cigars at all. Ok, not too dreadful, I need to go to BHG later and can get them there. If they can’t stock them then it’s their loss. On emerging I remembered there is a China Tobacco store nearby so detoured to that.

Bear in mind that since arriving here I have been paying either 20y or 28y for ten very small or slightly larger cheroots and you will understand my joy when on this occasion I spotted Wang Guan. My Chizhou cigars!! Not only that, where they had been 11y for ten in Chizhou, they were selling them for 10y! Hallelujah!!

Clutching 200 cigars, Sheila and I joined the others in Brother’s Boat - a fine and fitting name for a Japanese restaurant! It was nice enough with sushi, sashimi, grilled mussels and allsorts and of course they sold beer but only Japanese. Ok I enquired, is it Kirin, Asahi or what? The waitress will bring them to show you. I wracked my brains but couldn’t recall any other brands from my visits decades ago.

The waitress returned with a bottle each of Kirin and Asahi!!! That’s what I asked!! She couldn’t remember. Well she sells the damned stuff every day so I have no idea why not. 18y a 600ml bottle or 16y if you are a VIP member. Nobody was VIP. For those who have never been to China, being a VIP member doesn’t actually mean you are even slightly important, just that you have paid them money up front for a card on which you can spend and also receive a discount in return.

How much to be a VIP? I asked. 500y but we don’t want you to spend your money. Well that’s great but if I buy a VIP card you guys get a discount on everything today don’t you? Er, yes. Then I will be a VIP and you can pay me the money - simple! Considering the amount and quality we had I thought it reasonable for 331y for six people and they will give me the money in tomorrow’s class. The discount actually paid for my share were I actually chipping in.

Then it was back to school, for the students a class and for me the opening ceremony of the arts exhibition. Please remember that I am the only foreigner on that campus. I walked into the theatre and was confronted by probably double the number of students the Chizhou auditorium ever held, most of whom had never clapped eyes on me. Sometimes the confidence that comes with age comes in damned handy.  I took my seat and waited.

No Chinese opening ceremony ever takes place without interminable speeches and a panel of judges on stage. Speeches over, as always, every dignitary, teacher etc has to be introduced and applauded. Some of them I know from the school bus (the dean and a pretty teacher who always has lovely shoes) and the Communist Party head. Then I couldn’t believe my ears. Bearing in mind my plan had only been to go early tomorrow to look at the art - not today, I suddenly heard my name being called! My God, they were only introducing ME! I hastily stood up to huge applause and waved to the audience, praying they weren’t going to expect me on stage to make a speech. They didn’t.

The show itself was fabulous apart from the fact it lasted too long and every single “act” was group dancing. No variety, just different dances. Very good ones though and stunning costumes. Sadly the stage lights were angled ever so slightly towards the audience and I was sitting too far back and had to use the zoom on the camera. meaning my pictures are not particularly clear. Nonetheless I am glad I made the effort and more importantly was seen to do so.

On exiting the theatre it was even colder and I had already guessed that with the number of teachers who were there for the show the school bus was going to be mobbed. I decided to take a taxi to go shopping at BHG.

However, as I arrived at the bus stop with the intention of hailing a cab, a number 12 arrived so I thought stuff it, I’ll use public transport. I was mystified as to why the bus was free. At the 3 Streams terminus when I changed to the number 15 that was also free. Now I was confused. Was it Xi Jinping’s birthday? Something to do with Mao? No. apparently due to road restrictions and pollution (I never noticed any of the latter) the government had decreed the buses were free today. I figured if I got off the bus at one of the BRT stops near where I live, I could also ride free all the way to the supermarket and indeed I did. I would have taken a taxi from Peili Square otherwise due to the heavy bag Suzy had given me earlier.

So I now have enough cigars to last until payday, wine and meat enough for a week and unless I really feel the need I have no need to do a big shop until next Monday. All in all, today was a good one.

Sunday 20th November, 2016                          1500

Oh boy, this has turned out to be the laziest weekend I have had in a long time. Doing a big shop once a week and splurging 10y on a taxi back is the way to go here, and when I think of all the 1y bus fares in a week doing it in dribs and drabs, it’s no more expensive.

So I have stayed in the entire time bar two very brief outings to the local shop 100 yards away. The only “work” I have done aside from laundry is composing an email detailing my thoughts on the Cyprus programme. It can’t do me any harm and could just stand me in good stead. If they decide to move me to Peili campus anyway all I will have lost is a little time and that I have plenty of. In fact a lot of it is spent pondering what to cook for myself!

It’s a crisp, sunny day today but when I checked the weather forecast it says we will have daytime highs of -1C for the following three days! A hell of a change from the 13 today and when out of curiosity I looked up Chizhou we will be 18 degrees lower than them! I would be jealous but I noted with satisfaction they will have constant rain so at least I still haven’t had to buy an umbrella.

The money I transferred from the UK ages ago is still lost somewhere despite all the details I was given being correct. I sincerely hope there are no charges when it is a failed transaction because I will ring them in the week and ask that they return it to my UK account. Speaking of which, as of Thursday the new debit card STILL hadn’t arrived. How come everyone else gets mail and I never do??

1630

Typical. Janet just texted to tell me the opening ceremony of the art exhibition has now been changed to tomorrow afternoon. I hadn’t intended to go to the opening ceremony anyway, rather I wanted to go on Tuesday when it is quieter and perhaps take some photos in peace. Now I feel obliged to go tomorrow, doubtless Janet wants me to be seen by the upper echelons as taking an interest whilst they are there themselves. Bugger.

That now means my shopping is endangered. Suzy tells me my Taobao shopping is heavy (the bread flour must have arrived) and I have two great choices (three if I want to spend a fortune on taxis) - two public buses home when I am done and another when I go shopping or wait for the school bus and after dumping my load, another bus. Somehow I think I may not get any shopping tomorrow. The best laid plans………. Still, it means I will get a lie in on Tuesday.

Yesterday I was idly musing over whether to go anywhere with my upcoming long weekend (Thursday noon - Monday morning). I would dearly love to go back to Chizhou for a couple of nights but that involves flights, trains and buses and a long time travelling. And it would cost about 1200y plus spending money. Then I looked at this place http://www.chinahighlights.com/zhangye/attraction/danxia-landform-geological-park.htm
Which is much closer and I could get away with one night in an hotel. The trouble is I still don’t know where the train station is (Zhangye’s on the only fast line there is here yet) although of course I could find out. The problem really is that saving seems to be impossible here at present. The cost of living is much higher than I am used to and of course what with sub-zero temperatures already just hours away, ere long I will need to spend on thermals.

I wouldn’t mind but it’s not as if I am out whooping it up three nights a week! In fact it is more akin to being in an open prison. That part would be fine if only having some wages left come payday were possible! I won’t suddenly sign the pledge or give up smoking or cooking my western food so it leaves me with few options.

More than once here I have been asked by Chinese teachers why western teachers don’t save money as they do. I’m not completely sure my explanation about not being able to live like a local (a few pennies a day on noodles and cheap Chinese cigarettes for example) was convincingly received even though it is entirely correct.

Wednesday 16th November, 2016                        1800

Day off and one on which I went shopping. I am having a dinner party tomorrow. I invited Janet and she agreed but sadly this morning she was informed she had extra work tomorrow and had to cry off. A great pity because tomorrow I shall put on leek and potato soup (those Murphys are lovely!) as I am cooking it now for my dinner and there will be loads left, lasagne (I have wanted one for such a long time) and bread and butter pudding, something I have never made but surely can’t be that hard to get right?

On a whim I have also tried my hand at making fudge to take to school tomorrow. I used a very expensive tin of Carnation evaporated milk, followed the instructions to the letter and to my intense annoyance it didn’t seem to be setting so it now anguishes in the fridge along with my hopes.

For the past week my skin has been getting dryer. I am now slapping lotion on every night but I have also become itchier and have been waking up with what look like mosquito bites. They very rarely bite me, my smell naturally puts them off (no! I don’t stink, it’s just that people give off imperceptible odours, hence some are mozzie magnets and others not) and anyway they all seem to have disappeared now it is cold.

I now have it in my head that possibly this flat is infested with bedbugs - after all, mosquitoes don’t bite your arse when you are covered up in bed. Naturally the thought of sleeping with repugnant insects feasting on my flesh is not one I relish and so I have alerted Brenda to the possibility that I may need a fumigation team and a new bed. She thinks it may be an allergy.

Whilst I think not, on reflection all the bedding I have been using seems to have been professionally cleaned (everything was folded and pressed far more neatly than even a woman would achieve) and so there is a possibility she may be right even though I don’t have a rash as such. That may be because I am scratching myself in my sleep. The only way to find out for sure has to be to see the school “hospital” (a nurse) and try some antihistamines. Annoyingly, I have none left over from Chizhou. Frankly I would love it to be an allergy to whatever the bedding was washed in because even if professionals have to come and eradicate the pests I would always worry they will return. I’ve never encountered bedbugs to my knowledge, even in cheap hotels - not that I have stayed in many.

Friday 18th         1740

Last night was a success. I made the soup thinner than I normally would on account of the amount of food I was cooking. When all had declared they had had enough, I went to empty the rest down the toilet. This provoked horrified reactions and they demanded they be allowed to finish the lot off. Fine by me.

My guests were Suzty and a classmate (she doesn’t have an English name and she was a latecomer to the class) and Brenda, the one in glasses and black top.  They were fascinated by the lasagne, which I knew would be good and it was. You can see from the photos there was ample for four people and yet that too was polished off. Suzy took the accolade for eating most.

Now the bread and butter pudding was a different matter. Yes, simplicity itself to make unless you are a dopey sort and you forget to include the eggs! Yes, that’s me! Well I wasn’t wasting the ingredients so I beat a couple of eggs into some more milk and added the mixture afterwards, crossing my fingers it would be ok. The fudge STILL hasn’t set and obviously never will, so had the pudding been a disaster I was going to whip out, buy some bananas and ice cream and stick runny fudge on top! I need not have worried, dessert was lovely although I finally bested them - there was enough left over for me to have some tonight after my ham dinner. Everyone was straining at the waist.

I still have Janet and Harriett to feed so that I have treated all my helpers here. For Janet I think perhaps pizza and wings, Harriett macaroni cheese and green pea soup. The ingredients have started arriving from Taobao and should all be here by next week. It seems odd that my socialising here is limited to the occasions I have people over for dinner though.

Aside from collecting some of my internet shopping from Suzy this afternoon I may as well have stayed at home. Not a soul turned up for the voluntary class. I gave it half an hour and left, taking the public buses home - good practise for the next time the school bus is overloaded. I pray the absence of students was as a result of preparations for their big exhibition next week.

I asked Janet yesterday and Brenda last night, what was to become of me next term. It would seem both are keen for me to remain on east campus. Oh, and you learn something every day - Brenda told me the little school I go to that I thought was annexed to a larger campus at the back IS in fact the full extent of east campus. Well the commute is a royal pain in the derriere but I like the freedom I have there (and my office) and as I suspected, Peili campus are apparently far more strict and controlling. That would hardly suit me. And they have the dreaded English corners.

That however presents a problem inasmuch as where will my students come from? I suggested that as the Cyprus arrangement is a new venture for both the school and me, they want it to be a success as do I. perhaps I could make some suggestions for their consideration. That is this weekend’s job, to compose same and email it to Janet to present to the leadership.

It’s a pity I have so many unknowns because I may offer suggestions that are impossible
but there again I might just give them food for thought. Notwithstanding, it will demonstrate that I am as keen to make a fist of the new programme as they must be. I have nowhere near decided yet whether I wish to remain here longer than a year because there are so many drawbacks (mainly the cost and time involved if I wish to travel to anywhere else in China and the travelling between home and work) but there are also good aspects, now the internet seems to be fixed and stable!

Tuesday 15th November, 2016                     1920

I have to say I wasn’t overly impressed with last night’s supermoon. It didn’t look particularly big but it WAS bright. It amuses me how people manage to get their photos of an orange super giant moon hovering above the horizon published because they are patently taken with zoom lenses.   

Flipping dinner last night was a disaster. Having bought what I thought were fabulous potatoes, I didn’t want to turn them into chips if they were indeed monstrous new potatoes. Not at first anyway. 

So I thought I would try something plain so as to savour the potatoes. Breaded fish goujons, spuds and peas with nothing else. The spuds were marvellous and I sincerely hope this is not a seasonal thing. They really are like gigantic new potatoes, when you scrub them the skin comes off easily (tonight I am turning two of them into jackets). However, instead of buying the breaded fish I have in the past I bought the other, similar, packet next to them. 

Talk about a mistake! 

I started eating my dinner and thought to myself that I must have overdone the ground black pepper because I was getting more than a hint of heat in my food inlet. As I progressed I realised perhaps these “fish fingers” were some other seafood, although I have no idea what the contents were. 

Whatever it was, it was packed full of chilli or something and of 6 goujons I had to leave three! Ok, it wasn’t as bad as it sounds, simply eating delicious boiled potatoes and peas was a pleasure. I shall though stick to the ordinary fish things I normally buy in future!

I had an unexpected text from Tutu (remember her from Shanghai in the summer?) telling me she had written a letter about her teachers. She kindly sent it to me but it was in Chinese and anyone who has tried to translate using Google or Bing will know the translation needs to be second-guessed.

I have cleaned up some of the Chinglish and will leave the bit about cats chasing me even though that was impossible as they stayed indoors always, she did though witness at one point nine dogs and puppies faithfully chasing my e-bike on many occasions before I was forced to dispose of all but one dog.

Anyway the reason I am sharing this is because it reminded me that we teachers sometimes DO make a difference in this world and it is nice to be reminded for once. I will leave Tutu to conclude this entry in her own inimitable way. 

Mind the first glimpses of a cigar, his face red, naive old man, always remember the foreigner riding on each occurrence when always followed behind his e-bike the group of cats and dogs, so pomp Great, he wanted to pay attention to is hard, he's crazy Steve is our teacher, the impression that the British should be wearing a top hat, holding an umbrella, and then with London, a very deep cavity speak. Steve's first appearance surprised me, with a very high-pitched excitement of English asked our name in English, my English name tutu (ballet skirt intended) to his great surprise, so for a long time I mistakenly I thought he was American. Still remember, in school activities center boasted that it was his outdoor office, the first time I asked him a question in English, 'What is the difference between Chinese culture and Western culture'?There we certain sensitive political at issue blush red, often because of his lack of English vocabulary and wringing; there, I knew as soon as I say 'British English is the mother language ofAmerican English' time he will be struggling to refute; there, Steve,French teacher, the three of us (each stand, Britain, and France) before the colonial question and debate endlessly aggression is aggression; there when my own Chinglish frustrated upset when, Steve teacher again with 'Content is more important than language 'so to encourage comfort me, it is this time and time again "controversy", a time to encourage, let me say English is full of interest, so for Steve teachers are full of gratitude for long I speak English would correct my pronunciation; thank you for your busy schedule and gave me papers (Chinese teachers and foreign teachers in English teaching pros and cons) to provide material; thank you teacher took me to taste your DIY baguette let me experience different cultures; to you, all thanks ......

Monday 14th November, 2016                     1445

Yesterday was most assuredly one lazy day. No shopping other than in Peili Square nearby and no blogging. Aside from cooking my dinner and looking unsuccessfully for a battery, I behaved like Sid the Sloth.

I had intended to change my bedding and utilise the one pillow I had inherited. To date I have been using a quilt as a bedroll and covering it with a sheet so I thought I would finally make it “proper” even though the pillow looks too big for me. I could quite happily just use a small bolster to support my neck (or a soft feather pillow) and indeed often did in the past. Going through the neatly folded bedding I discovered I didn’t have a pillowcase anyway!

The battery was as a direct consequence of my sleeping in last Monday. I realised I didn’t need to buy an alarm clock, I had one somewhere that I have had for over two decades. It’s a travelling alarm, a Dalvey Voyager that was a Christmas present from an old flame I lived with for a while. I saw it advertised in the Telegraph and threw away a comment that it was beautiful. I was stunned to receive it as a gift months later. It has my initials engraved and sentimental value, so even though I haven’t used it in fifteen years I won’t part with it. I could have sourced a battery from the “cave” but I had worn my new shoes and didn’t want to push my feet too far in preparation for wearing them to work today.

I attach photos of the clock and a relatively rare shot in China of my dinner last night, a roast chicken meal on my new plate. No, I couldn’t eat more than half of it.

No sleeping in this morning and the madman and his little bus arrived instead of the big comfortable one. There was one seat left by the time it got to me but at least we got there on time and alive.

I could have sworn Janet told me this week was the art exhibition and I had no class on Friday. I had planned to go to school in the morning to see the displays but others tell me it is happening next week so now I am confused. I await clarification. I don’t want to get up at five for nothing.

After school I went to the supermarket. After buying two batteries for the clock on the way in at the excellent price of 5y apiece, I needed a couple of pillowcases but whilst there I saw some nice pillows. I only need one and at least I know I will be the only one to have used it. Avoiding the expensive ones, I selected what I thought was a good quality example for 40y. I then mooched around the vegetable section. To my delight they now have two types of potato, the latest additions looking like overgrown new potatoes. I have been getting really tired of peeling spuds and on cutting them open finding they have huge masses of disgusting brown inside them - and no evidence of the problem within when seen from the surface. Delighted, I bought enough for three meals and I hope they live up to expectations.

News just in. Janet DID tell me it was this week and she made a mistake. I can sleep late tomorrow.

Anyway, there was a bit of a queue to get vegetables weighed and it soon became apparent why. There was a slug of a boy (I have seen him doing the weighing very occasionally) who took at least ten seconds on every bag to seal it with the sticky price tag. Had he been new to the job of course I could understand but this was painful.

The woman in front of me must own a restaurant judging by the volume of bags she had but finally it was my turn. I handed my two little bags of spuds over and the lazy fat slug, instead of handing them back to me, put them on the counter beside him! I couldn’t believe it. It meant I had to move other people and their trolleys all because he couldn’t be bothered handing them to me standing two feet away! For what it was worth, I gave him some choice words and a young man in the queue laughed and told me to “take it easy”. I smiled back and asked him if he enjoyed having been kept waiting for ages because someone clearly didn’t actually want to do their job. I swear if the potatoes hadn’t been a lovely looking novelty here I would have left them, walked off and bought some back here from a stall.

But that wasn’t the end of it. At the checkout my pillow, instead of being 40y as stated on the shelf, was 174y!!!!!! No wonder I thought it was good quality! This time I DID have a newbie serving me (no uniform as yet) and a queue behind me. Not her fault and I didn’t want to hold everyone up or go back to find the cheaper ones so I just had to wipe my mouth. Why the hell they can’t stick prices on packets is beyond me unless it is to be able to sell more expensive goods by misleading the consumer. Grrr. I had better get a good sleep from it.

It’s a beautiful and clear day today which augurs well for tonight’s supermoon. Joan tells me Chizhou is cloudy and she may possibly not get to witness it, which is a shame. I don’t miss the rain in Chizhou one little bit, in fact it is worth leaving that behind and suffering the dust here!  

Saturday 12th November, 2016                            1500

I am feeling a touch lazy today and can’t be bothered to cook for myself. Can’t be bothered much tackling the stairs to get to the BRT either but I will have to later, no way will I be noodling it two nights on the trot. I may go to Buddy’s, possibly try their pizza.

I washed my bathrobe and towels and then set off to try and find the shop where you buy gas. Located it, bought 100y worth, didn’t want to buy more as I had no conception of how many cubic metres I would get. Remember, I use just under one a day whereas electricity goes faster. Mind you, the electric is a mystery because when I had over 400 on the meter it was getting gobbled up but now it is below 200 it has slowed considerably. With that though I simply take the card and get a top up without handing over money.

Then I went to the underground cave near the BRT. I went there once when I first arrived and bought an ashtray and a couple of glasses, then got lost finding where I had come in (the escalators to go up were working) and had to huff and puff up ordinary stairs to escape. There are loads of stalls selling all manner of things so I hoped perhaps I could buy a dinner plate. I have three decent sized ones but really need a fourth. No luck. Plenty of stalls selling crockery but of course the Chinese don’t use proper plates, theirs are all starter plates. I think I either need to order online or take a trip to Homwo, which I might do before going to Buddy’s, after all, they are close together. I said I wouldn’t go there again as it’s like Hampton Court Maze and it took me ages to get out the last time and I only went for a fast dinner.

Went to the little shop to buy some cans and things and then to the stalls to get some pork on the bone. I fancied doing ham on the bone and had seen legs there. Or at least I thought I had. On closer inspection the narrow end of the “leg” has a snout attached! The idea of making ham out of a pig’s head rather put me off so I bought the usual type, a lump which filled the designated pan nicely for 43y but no bone. Amazing when you think that in restaurants the pork and chicken dishes you order almost always still have bones in them! It’ll be ready on Thursday, although I may host a meal (I really should invite Janet after her financial assistance since my arrival here) because I would love a lasagne. You can’t really make one for yourself (well I can’t) if your baking trays are all large. An idea just occurred to me though, I could buy those aluminium foil containers, make a load and freeze all bar one.

Back home I shoved the pork in the pot and added the honey, spice and salts and whacked it in the fridge. Oh, better check to see how much gas I got for my money! Turned on the hob and I had precisely as much as when I had left! What?? The idiotic notion that I may have paid the wrong gas company was swiftly dismissed as they wouldn’t have been able to use my gas card. Maybe it takes a while. I decided not to text Brenda in case it transpired I was an idiot. You see, they assume you know these things and I have never had to use a card for energy.

After a while I wondered if……………

I opened the door of the meter and sure enough there was a slot. Could it be I have to put the card in? Yes!!! Phew, good job I never texted! I was very pleasantly surprised to see that 100y gave me 60 metres, enough for two months at least.

This PPPOE internet dialup so far has been exactly as Kevin said it would be - very fast in the morning but slowing down as the day progresses. I do hope it’s a reasonable speed tonight because I would like to stream the England v S Africa game tonight. As for the football, I only found out we played the Auld Enemy yesterday when I went on Facebook!

Ok, I’m off out again to forage for a plate and some food. I am also taking the camera on the off chance there’s another opera in the square. Of course my taking a camera is almost certain to ensure there isn’t!

1845

All done. Plate, mugs and a new cheese grater bought in Homwo and after an hour of following misleading signs I finally got out. I did try out Buddy’s pizzas and wished I hadn’t. It was no better than those cheap frozen ones you can buy in supermarkets so other than the fact I had a nice student waitress to chat to, it was a waste of money. Of course, you don’t know until you try and now I know. The next time I go I may try a steak, they always look nice when I see someone else eating one but that may be next month. I still have a couple of things to buy before the weather gets really cold and to be honest I could do with new trainers, the old ones are a year old and there’s not much fabric between my soles and the pavement!

No opera in the square but plenty of ancient relics watching two antiques singing and playing a traditional Chinese instrument. Sounded awful but the wrinklies were enjoying it.

See if you can spot the mistake in the yellow photo.

Saturday 12th November, 2016                 0020

Apologies for the last entry being lengthy but it’s what I do.

You see, my pupils never see a bloody thing in their daily lives and if they do they more or less ignore it or look away. For six and a half years now I have implored them to open their eyes, take it in and bring it to the classroom. You can make a story about ants hunting a wounded fly or a cat stalking birds seem interesting if you try.

Well maybe I fail myself but that’s what I try to do. People are interested in normal (whatever that is) lives.

For instance, when I was at sea I read a lot. An awful lot. There was nothing outside of organised activities (which I ended up organising), listening to the BBC World Service on the radio or writing letters home. Yes, remember when computers and mobile phones didn’t exist?

I wrote home about my “normal” life. Wasn’t normal to them - they had never been in an engine room or double bottom. Never been to Japan, Canada or Indonesia. At that time I had never sat fascinated by watching a line of ants appear from the corner of a restaurant to come and tackle a fly I had wounded with a swatter. I wrote about it in this blog but you never know if people will be INTERESTED in it. That’s my problem - actually no it’s not. I write, you choose whether to read or not. My problem is making it interesting. I will never have children or grandchildren who will read my tosh, I just do it because I can.

The difference for my students though is that even if their contribution to the class discussion is the most soporific thing I have heard in a decade, I at least will be interested. Not because of the content but the delivery. I really am farting into a force 10 on this but I shall persevere. I know full well I have had good effect with those who embraced my methods. I am just fracturing my skull on the wall with most kids here and and I am damned if I will be held accountable for any perceived lack of progress - I can lead but…..

So having shopped last night and with everything I need foodwise around the corner, the plan was not to take the BRT at peak sardine time this weekend. But I might. Why? I now have the chance to get my dry cleaning done. Maybe I will never wear the clothes in Lanzhou (certainly I have never been taken for a meal by the school) but they ARE covered in Lyles golden syrup and who knows?

I also need an iron and ironing board if I am to wear a long-sleeved shirt. Those are in the future, as are a lot of things given my recent poverty. I want to have money left if they pay late again.

I would like to do a lot of things (and I am not intending on using the extra 5,000y on loan) such as revisit Chizhou next weekend (STILL they haven’t replaced me, great policy) or even fly to Shanghai to see the IMF but of course I would be out of money yet again at the end of the month.

I have been in Lanzhou now for 2.5 months and my opinion is that the city is OK, albeit sadly bereft of the facilities one would expect from the capital city of a province. As to my life here, I enjoy the teaching but but hate absolutely everything else about it.

I will bear it and probably grow into it, I am built that way and I hate change, hence my agony when forced to leave Chizhou. I don’t have to like it, just get on with it. There are good points here, the flat is bigger, central heating is on, I don’t have to worry about the breakers tripping out if I use too many appliances and many other good things,

But it isn’t Chizhou.

I am alone.

I miss Joan, Dumpling, Nancy etc.

Should I be posting this? Possibly not but this blog has always been warts and all. Anyone reading who is thinking of following a similar path should consider very carefully. My first job in China saw me strike it lucky. Ok I am well equipped to deal with what life throws at me now and anything China can but it isn’t always Nirvana.

Friday 11th November, 2016                                      2000

OR Remembrance Day                                  OR Singles Day

Depends on where you are and to an extent how old you are. We all know the significance of the first but what of the second?

A huge day in China where people celebrate being single (many of them have no choice of course!) and in so doing they treat themselves to gifts. Quite why they need a special day for this is beyond me, they can do it any time they like but the e-commerce on this day is astounding. Taobao registered $5 billion of sales in the first hour past midnight alone. Had I wanted to order a kg of cheddar cheese at that time it would have been rotten before they even had time to send it out of the warehouse.

Of course I couldn’t have because I had no money. I was potless.

I have to mention that sometime after midnight I did have contact from the Shanghai branch of the IMF. They offered me a lifeline were I still to remain unpaid today. Very much appreciated and I value Captain Roland Orange’s friendship as much as in the days when we sailed together. I was confident his gesture, whilst being something to allow me to sleep easily last night, would be unnecessary.

This is me and this is China.

After a prompting text message from Shanghai IMF I went as planned at noon to see if I had been paid. I hadn’t. I called on an inter-provincial loan of 1,000y in the safe knowledge that I would be put in funds and before that ran out I would either have been paid my salary or be in prison awaiting trial for murder.

Five minutes after I returned home Janet sent me a text saying her colleague has told her she had just been paid. Hold the IMF loan!

On the way to catch the school bus I went to withdraw funds (I was down to my last cigar). Nothing.

I reactivated the IMF loan.

On the bus I asked one of the women teachers if she had been paid and told her I hadn’t been. She asked the other passengers and they had all received their wages. The next I knew, one of them was calling Brenda complaining on my behalf.

As I arrived at school the bank texted to say 5,000y had been deposited. I thought it odd seeing as my salary is a little higher than that but assumed the school had hurriedly sent money without deducting tax so I could have some cash for the weekend. I was trying desperately not to squeal any more and enhance my undoubted reputation as a troublemaking foreigner.

No, despite my only requesting 1,000y from Roland, he had sent 5,000y - bless him. You can guess the rest I am sure? Ten minutes later my pay also arrived and I suddenly became rather flush! All I need now is my UK cash to arrive and I’m on the next flight to the Maldives!

I happily went to my class at 1430 to find I had but one student, Millie. This is the voluntary class. Wondering why I had even left home (but thinking that if even one student turned up in her own free time it was my duty to teach nonetheless) I asked her if she wanted a one to one class. She did. Part of me thought “damn” but the better part said that I was (albeit late this month) being paid and she deserved my efforts.

But why not kill a few birds at the same time?

Let’s go for a walk. Find me a Bank of China ATM. So off we went and along the way I tested her on the English for various things (traffic cone, manhole, bollard etc) and taught what she didn’t know. Cash in hand we then went to the little shop for cigars. I explained to her that although the China Tobacco shopshe showed me had them at the same price I would rather use the small husband and wife shop because they needed the money more. I think that impressed her more because she hadn’t thought of things in that way.

As it happened they didn’t have as many as I wanted so I asked Millie to explain where I taught and that I would buy all my cigars from them, could they get a good stock in? I was a trifle surprised when, after spending 144y in there, the woman expressed concern at being asked to retain a stock of 100-150 of my cigars each week and asked for a deposit. I did however offer to pay up front but it was insisted that 200y was sufficient. I rather hope no deposit will be required in future after I go and collect the 150 I expect on Tuesday.

I think for Millie her hour and a half was productive (I offered to buy her lunch by way of thanks but she had of course already eaten) and it certainly was for me - I now know where the BoC ATM is and an alternative cigar source.

At the end I repaid Janet who had the decency to forewarn me that a teachers’ meeting had just finished and she thought the bus would be overloaded. After my rant the last time she was unsurprised when, although I could have sat in the front next to the madman, I said I would make my own way.

With shopping to get, I decided to splurge on a taxi. I even thought I could have a beer and dinner near the supermarket but the bars I found a couple of weeks ago don’t appear to serve food so I just went to the pharmacy first. The assistant was the daughter of the folks who run the little shop around the corner and she helped. Well mostly. When I asked for my gout pills I was shown a box with no English and it looked nothing like what I used to get in Chizhou so I refused to buy them. I did however find myself struggling to read admittedly small print in light blue on a white background. I wished I had my mini-specs with me even though they are half broken and I haven’t used them in months.

In the supermarket I started buying some more things I need for the flat. Hangers, hooks etc but no food. I wasn’t about to spend 37y on an execrable ready made pizza when I can make great ones at home for less. I did want salt for making ham but as usual, to my intense annoyance, nobody spoke English. I did find a shopper who spoke it though and asked her to get me a bag.

Ever heard of a supermarket that ran out of salt??? You have now.

There was no way I could have negotiated the stairs for the BRT even if it wasn’t the usual Friday evening mayhem as I had bought 6 bottles of plonk so another taxi was called for. It was fun standing at the roadside for half an hour before one stopped.

Dinner had to be noodles so I tried the beef noodles. Only 6y for a huge bowl of mien with a spicy sauce and spring onions etc floating on top, accompanied by chopped beef. It looked the part, for sure. What you end up eating of course is just noodles because the rest, being chopped small, sinks to the bottom and you are eating with chopsticks! Saved cooking I suppose.

I bought a pair of gloves from a market stall outside (15y) and chanced upon a pocket magnifying glass. Hmmm. Bearing in mind my problem with the medicine, perhaps I needed one? Ah, but mini-glasses too at 25y a pair! I’ll take a pair!

So no unnecessary money wasted today and when the meat stalls outside open in the morning I am going to buy a leg of pork on the bone (supermarkets don’t do them) and start a nice big ham curing in my fridge.

Wednesday 9th November, 2016                     1200

I am probably doing what millions around the world are, watching live results of the end of the world as we know it. Without knowing how many votes each state has off the cuff, one could have been forgiven for thinking Trump was storming up Pennsylvania Avenue at one point, with a 50 vote lead. However, strange things happen in US elections.

I meant to pop out for some groceries and cigars earlier but time flew. Remembering the hordes of pupils swarming the BRT the last time I was foolhardy enough to try travelling during the lunch break, I shall delay until 1400. We weren’t paid yesterday (although when I arrived here I was told it was the 10th of each month it has been the 8th) and neither had my “swift” money from the UK turned up. Well they said 3-4 working days and today is the 4th. No text from Bank of China as yet but then UK banks won’t open until early evening time here. Knowing me, the money will be lost in cyberspace for months anyway.

I looked at our weather forecast for next Monday and it is looking good as far as clouds go. With the biggest supermoon in 78 years appearing that night I would quite like to see it. There are three more this year but not as big.

Thursday 10th                                               1900

Oh dear, Lanzhou thus far has been anything but Lucky for me. Still no pay and currently less than 10y to my name in China. I can but hope tomorrow sees my fortunes replenished because if they make everyone wait over the weekend then I am in a fix. I spent time on Skype this afternoon contacting my UK bank. I couldn’t contact Bank of China because every single number listed for them on the internet is not in service.

My transfer should have arrived by now so I had checked the small print on the form I was given when we opened my account. Chinese banks will refuse to accept a payment unless every minutiae is absolutely spot on even though it is obvious that Bloggs, Joe is the intended recipient. I spotted that unlike my Chizhou bank, where, were you to put Joe Bloggs the payment would be returned, Bank of China had me down as Joe Bloggs and I had automatically given my UK bank the way it is in the passport (the way the Chinese read them) and they had sent the money to Bloggs, Joe when it needed to be Joe Bloggs.

Accordingly, yesterday the payment was sent back to the UK. Had my new debit card arrived I would have said fine, put it back in my account and I will use the cash point. Only costs £2 instead of Christ knows how much it is now - probably half of what I transferred. China said the account number was wrong as their reason but as it tallied with the paperwork they gave me it HAS to be the name - and remember my name was a huge problem when trying to open the account. Will the money be in my Chinese account tomorrow? Of course not, another 2 or 3 days. I’ve been skint before but with access to funds in the UK or a colleague such as Kevin wanting to buy my Amazon credits (I do online surveys) off me. Here I have to plead poverty and look like the village idiot.

The Chinese can’t grasp why westerners spend all their salary. They don’t understand that what would be cheap in our country is an arm and a leg here, or that we like to set up home with the right gear. It’s not as if I have a social life, so far that has been a couple of meals for students here at home.

The price of everything here is also way higher than Chizhou yet my pay is the same, so where I could save there, I still have cold weather gear to buy etc and find it impossible without giving up my comforts (western ingredients, cigars, plonk) and if I did that I may as well start up a temperance society and become a hermit or more likely, go to the doctor and ask to be put down.

Fingers crossed there is money in the morning. If there is I may well do an evening run to the supermarket and have to take a taxi back as I will have bought so much stuff.

One of these days my Lanzhou posts simply have to take a turn for the happy!!

Monday 7th November, 2016                       1440

The old people had a late one last night, turning off just after 2230. I was rather hoping they had forgotten and I could leave my laptop downloading all night but no such luck. I set the alarm and turned in.

I woke up as usual to use the little boys room while it was pitch dark and went back to bed praying I had at least an hour before it was time to rise. I continued in that state of flux between sleep and awareness for some time before it suddenly dawned on me (through closed eyelids) that it was daylight. It is dark at 0500 these days. Panicking, I lunged for the bedside table and my phone to check the time.

That was mistake number one last night - I had left it in the office so wouldn’t have heard it go off. To my horror it was just before eight and my class starts at eight. What on earth? I turned my phone on to send hasty texts to advise of my tardiness (David had sent two texts from the bus when I failed to appear) and checked the alarm. Mistake number two had been to set it for eight instead of five! It went off and then texts started coming in asking where I was and then Janet called. When someone can’t understand when you are trying to tell them you are getting dressed (thought I was speaking about an address) or I am putting my clothes on (what is closed?) it is frustrating when you are trying to make haste. Then she suggested if I was sick to take the morning off. Tempting though it was, not on your Nelly! Send me the address of campus in Chinese, I will be there about nine!

Getting a cab proved harder than I thought, eventually I hailed one and off we went. When you are in a hurry the last thing you want is a driver who wants to make extra and keeps stopping to ask people where they are going. I got one of those, and they never give you a discount . And he picked up another fare who, to be fair, got off without a detour being needed. Then we hit a traffic jam. One caused by a minor shunt (no damage evident) yet no attempt made to move the cars to the roadside. I got to class at 0945, hardly worth it and I was regretting not taking the offer of a morning off but at least I showed willing.

1650

On my return I eschewed shopping for dinner, instead deciding to have home made bangers and mash and wait for the IT people. I connected to the old people but there was no internet! Typical, I have experts coming and with no internet in the building they have no chance! Arghh!

I sent them a text to head them off but to no avail. Husband and wife (Dean and JinJin) turned up, by which time for once fortune had smiled and there was internet available for everyone bar me.

There was much scratching of heads because Dean’s laptop worked on my wifi and naturally mine didn’t. His worked on the cable, mine didn’t.  It took him about an hour of doing things which were completely beyond me but ultimately proved himself to be my new computer genius! The problem from what I can gather was that whilst Wang had reset everything, he omitted setting up my laptop so it could integrate. I am now back in business and couldn’t give a tinker’s cuss what time the geriatrics conk out tonight.

I think I have found two new friends, they want to take me out for dinner sometime and I was so overjoyed at being connected again I gave them a pound of my sausages. Well worth it!