Monday 31stth July, 2017                1700

Ok so my blog is back to being my blog rather than something also posted elsewhere. I did not sacrifice the truth though on the altar of a free trip though as you will have read! Perhaps I ruffled feathers, perhaps not but I did warn them I would speak honestly!

It has taken until today to get my legs back after a fashion. After my foray to the supermarket it appears Wednesday will be fun, lugging my suitcase to the bus, through the train station and then the airport. However, after a year it looks as if I have finally (hopefully) sorted my cigar supply chain out. The jing jo shop, having seen me once a month for a year bringing in a bag with 500 cigars on my way home, eventually decided they could do with the custom. As of this moment I have enough to keep me going until the end of August. Fingers crossed.

Final wash before departure is now on, the clothes were done earlier so just the trainers getting a good rinsing now. In the interests of laziness tonight and tomorrow’s dinners will require minimal washing up  - burger buns with bacon, egg and cheese tonight, ham and toasted cheese tomorrow. Hell, from Thursday I will have 8 English breakfasts and also for five days after Shanghai, another one daily. Personally I could live on just that! Shanghai? Well I doubt I will be getting up in time for any morning repasts!

I shouldn’t really need it but I have replenished my snuff bottle. Joan ordered me what I thought would be a snuff box a couple of years ago but what arrived was a tiny glass bottle with a funnel and a long-handled miniature scoop to present to the nostril. Great for the pocket but she wasn’t to know the contents were dreadful - not too far removed from shoving curry powder up your nose. I still have plenty of Himalayan stuff from 6 years ago but on the container I just broached the metal lid had rusted away from the damp winters in Chizhou. I had to waste some powder to ensure I didn’t inhale corrosion but no matter, I have enough for another two decades at the rate I use it.

I said I shouldn’t need it seeing as my longest flight will be 2.5 hours. Of course with the recent discovery that PEK Beijing airport has absolutely no smoking booths (resulting in a 6 hour withdrawal) and the distinct possibility of delays, as an addict it pays to be prepared. Hitherto the only airport I knew of where they never even supplied a goldfish bowl for the unclean was Heathrow. Nicotine patches, whilst being largely ineffective, are though, somewhat of a joke. Has anyone taken one on a plane and tried to stick one on?

I did the last time I went to the UK. Once the China Southern airbus was aloft and the seat belt signs extinguished, I produced my “secret weapon”. Of course, these days they relieve you of anything that might remotely be sharp (with the exception of the tongues of mothers-in law) and the patches are impossible to open without scissors or a knife! I had to ask a stewardess to do the honours. The amount of things that are prohibited now it wouldn’t surprise me if in the not too distant future, passengers won’t be expected to travel completely naked and at security be subjected to a full cavity search. Maybe it’s time to buy a horse and cart.

Molly emailed me yesterday. Remember the English speaking competition in Anhui for teachers? She was fretting and I told her to send me her speech to look at and emend. She hadn’t at that time written one and never did send me it, instead asking for ideas of what to say. I assume she used my suggestions and wrote her piece the night before but no matter, I am delighted to report she won one of the three 1st prizes out of about 150 teachers taking part.

As for Alice, well as I don’t land in Hefei until 1700 I suggested she book into the hotel and wait for me. Instead, she is coming straight to the airport to meet me. Better for me because it means I don’t have to faff about trying to but coach tickets and finding where it departs from or at the end, trying to get a taxi driver to take me to the right one of four Holiday Inns in Hefei. My holiday head will be well and truly ON the moment I settle back in my seat on Wednesday afternoon.

What can possibly go wrong????

Alley/Hogg Trip 26^th July, 2017

And so the final full day for most of us dawned. The Kiwis will fly back 0105 on Friday but the Lanzhou brigade will mostly return tomorrow. I am flying but poor old Song looks to be actually taking the train back again to shepherd the Chinese students! Rather him than me.

Having been informed at dinner last night by Leanne that we would be leaving the hotel at 0900 this morning (an announcement which caused much joy among our visiting guests) I set my alarm for 0800. I was annoyed when I got a hotel alarm call at 0730. I thought about it and then, just in case they had changed the time to an 0830 departure, I got up and performed my ablutions.

I was towelling myself dry when there was a knock at my door at 0810. Mr Liu asked if I was ready! No, I was told nine! Who told you? Leanne. And all the students think it is nine as well. No, everyone is waiting to go for breakfast. Great. Now it looked as if I was at fault.

I later learnt the time adjustment had been communicated to the students later in the hotel and despite my having seen Leanne late with my speech for today, she never said a word to me. I left without even having had a coffee.

With no on-site restaurant breakfast was a go out and get your own affair so I couldn't even say eat your food and then I'll come. Mr Liu, Song and I walked miles (the others having by now left) in the rain until eventually it was decided to go into a KFC for a coffee. Seeing the breakfast menu, I decided for the first time this trip that yes, I would have breakfast. I asked for a full breakfast. They didn't have any. Instead I asked for an egg, bacon and cheese pannini and went and sat down. Song brought the food and informed us that all the rolls didn't have an egg. Thinking this was because Caleb doesn't eat eggs, I asked why. They didn't have any eggs! Ok, I can make do with bacon and cheese. They don't have any bacon either!! How the hell can they offer a breakfast menu with no bacon or eggs??

I am not sure what I had in the end, it wasn't too appetising though and even the coffee was insipid. Anyway it was time to go to the National Museum near Tiananmen Square. In the rain. The queues were horrendous and we had walked so far I was actually in moderate pain. I have no idea whether my arthritis has deteriorated or it was the result of the sheer amount of walking I have done over the past ten or so days but I was so relieved when they decided to abandon the visit due to the length of the queues.

Into Tiananmen Square. I am sorry China but that square on a miserable, rainy day, holds little appeal for me, even less when I discovered there is absolutely nowhere to sit, even if the surface would have been wet. By now I was seriously concerned. Everyone else was hale and hearty and there was I, desperate to take the weight off. I really, really did not want them to look back afterwards and regret inviting me. To my relief, Song very kindly suggested we start making tracks to where our bus would pick us up, that way we could take it at my pace (by now one minute walking and two leaning against the nearest tree!) and the others could follow on.

Next up was the meeting with the rather lengthily named Chinese People's Association for Friendship with Foreign Countries. This was much more my pace. Their Beijing headquarters are virtually in the middle of Beijing and yet its grounds are an enclave, a haven of peace and tranquility. I learnt from the NZ Embassy's International Relations Officer that a long time ago it had been the Italian Legation, after which it became Rewi Alley's home, presented to him by a grateful Chinese government. This was his final home and one which still houses the sofa where Deng Xiaoping and a one-time New Zealand prime minister sat when they called to visit.

One memorable thing for me to recall forever was when I asked Mr Zhang to translate a sign on a grass verge in the grounds. He told me it said “With your protection I can grow stronger and more beautiful”. Mystified, I asked him to elaborate, thinking it referred to the tree nearby. Basically, the same sign in the UK would have read “Keep Off The Grass!” Wonderfully, exquisitely polite!

We were taken into a large room where three tables were laid in readiness for lunch. This time I was booted off the Kiwi table and told to sit with the grown-ups. It was then that I noticed the top table had name plates, mine among them.

Loads of speeches from officials of CPAFFC, Lanzhou City university and finally me, followed by two NZ students and one Lanzhou Chinese student. I can but hope my speech was sufficient to redeem myself for being the oldest and creakiest person there!

I had by then decided with very heavy heart not to continue after lunch to see the Great Wall. It's no different to going to Paris and not see the Eiffel Tower or Sydney the Opera House. And of course I wanted to see it! Alone I probably would have but in a group I felt it would have been selfish of me to hold the rest up. I came back by taxi to the hotel with Mr Pang, who had things to do. I did though surrender my camera to Stacy, who kindly agreed to take some photos for me so I can pretend I went! I am sure the next time I come to Beijing, provided I make the Wall the only thing I do on a particular day, I will get to see it.

As I type this they should all be there (and the rain has stopped) but I also have Georgina (my ex student who also studied in Cardiff) coming later to join us all for dinner. I have not seen her for four years. It also seems I have another student here who rooms with her, Alisa. I cannot place her right now but no doubt I will when we meet up.

EVENING

By the time the Great Wallers returned, my two old students had arrived and were chatting with me in my hotel room. By then I had had an idea, one which I should have thought of earlier. I was an idiot! I had anti-arthritis medication with me – why had I not thought to take it as a preventative rather than cure as I usually do???

I suspected perhaps that whilst it works on ankles and knees a hip may be too big a task but who knew, it may have seen me go to the Wall? I found out when Mr Liu came to show us to the restaurant, promptly took us the wrong way and presented us with a lengthy walk as, after retracing Alley and Hoggs footsteps we found ourselves retracing our own!

I had my answer. It was no. I was fine at the start but not at the finish. I don't think my answer lies in doctors but in knowing my limitations and I have certainly pushed those of late. And now I have seen the photos Stacy took for me I know I would never have been able to follow everyone even five years ago! Such is life and the joys of advancing years.

For dinner we had traditional Beijing hotpot in a very popular restaurant. I am not a huge fan of hotpots (the actual food is homogenous regardless of restaurant, only the soup and style change) but I had never seen hotpots heated by charcoal from within before. Very effective I must say and nonetheless I enjoyed the parts of it I did eat. Somewhere on the internet there is a rather embarrassing picture of me reclining with a bowl of peanut sauce balanced on my belly. But then, if you cannot laugh at yourself then what can you laugh at? I have to admit it IS funny!

When we left, some of the Chinese lads said to me they were going drinking, did we want to go? Well as it happened we did but I wanted to find out when I should wake up tomorrow for the departure. I asked them to wait a minute. They disappeared. Georgina. Alisa and I ended up finding a small bar to sit, drink and have a chat for an hour and then we left, they needed to guarantee trains would run at that time of night to get to their home way across town and I needed to turn in.

Walking back I had a call asking where I was. All tickets for tomorrow's flight had been sold and they had been unable to book me on the flight as they didn't have my passport details. I may be being unkind in opining that as I had my passport with me they could have asked me or better still, seeing as every hotel in China I ever stay in photocopies it, why they couldn't have asked for a copy.

So I have had to book and pay for my own flight (the school will reimburse) and my flight departs 4 hours later than the others. The only thing that irks me is I shall still have to get up early so as to find out what time I need to get up! Those that are leaving tomorrow are in fact flying, Leanne is staying to wave the Kiwis off. I am in no-man's land! Any chance of more sleep will be taken instantly!

I would be disingenuous though at the conclusion of this epic marathon to say anything other than what a terrific, educational, moving experience it has been. Alongside that I should also add exhausting, impossible at times for me and yet again exhausting!

As I said in my speech today, I would not have missed it for the world.

I am so pleased to have been given a berth on the tour, annoyed with my physical capability but there is nothing wrong with my memory and I have so many more now lodged in the receptacle that is my brain.

Mentally I salute Rewi Alley and George Hogg. Considering 25 people of three different nationalities (me being the sole cuckoo in the nest and probably – I care not – purely to ensure a UK presence) have had a wonderful, different time to anything we would have ever done independently. I thank the organisers, those who paid for or provided everything, the accompanying staff from my university, the Chinese students who took my brand of humour (mostly) in good spirit and of course the Kiwis, who were a refreshingly rambunctious lot!

EPILOGUE

I never did get any extra sleep that last morning. It seemed every ten minutes people were knocking on my door and getting me out of bed to try to offer me a breakfast of bread and milk. Unless I am staying in a western hotel in China that can offer a semblance of an English breakfast I would rather sleep! And bread and milk is assuredly not my idea of breakfast.

I gave up after the third disturbance, showered and investigated the best way to get from where I was (I had no idea where that was, the hotel is brand new and I never even knew the name, simply that we were not far from the west train station. A bus leaves for the airport every 30 minutes from there so that was to be my way.

Only then, I received a call telling me a “better” way. Of course it involved a lot of walking and even though I had written down the directions I just knew they were not comprehensive and after what seemed an age and my lower body was crying out for mercy, I was about to hail a taxi for the subway station I needed to find the express train to PEK airport.

An old man with an e-trishaw stopped to tout for business. I told him where I wanted to go, Dongzhimen subway but before he could do anything, a young man on a faster e-trishaw appeared, said something and asked me my destination. Yes, no problem, said he. I asked how much, after all, I didn't want to be ripped off. He held up three fingers so I clarified the cost was “san rmb”. The lad said nothing and indicated I hop aboard.

He stopped at the end of an alleyway and could go no further but plainly a few yards away there was a subway station. I produced 3 yuan and I realised I had been stiffed from the expression on his face. He pulled out a card and pointed to 300 yuan!!!! to be honest, I would say the ride was worth 5 yuan rather than three but 300 yuan?

My blood boiled. I had explicitly said before getting on, three yuan and he had not corrected me – and he did speak reasonable English. I was incandescent and he was treated to some very lower deck nautical expletives along with the information that I was NOT a tourist available to be ripped off.

However, I had to admire his guile at managing to sucker me even though my guard had been up so I gave him 100 yuan just for his nerve and told him to be thankful for that and if he wished he could call the police and I would be happy to explain everything to them. The reality was, I couldn't afford to wait for them as I didn't know how much time I had to get to the airport and catch my flight. As it turned out I had plenty of time but I was not to know at the time.

Eventually his persistence paid off and he got 150 yuan, at which he offered to shake my hand. It is a rare day when I refuse to take another man's hand and that was a rare day. He was in no doubt that I thought he was a preying parasite. When he left and I went to the subway I found he hadn't even taken me to the one I had asked!

I did though get my flight and had plenty of time for a visit to the terminal Burger King for something to eat. It took another three hours after landing to get the train to the city and a bus home so it turned into a very long day but the odyssey was over. This morning I intended to go supermarket shopping but dared not. Everything below my waist had seized up! Hopefully another night in bed will see a full recovery.

But heavens above – what a fascinating, whirlwind and unmissable two weeks it has been!

Thank you again Lanzhou City University and everyone involved with or on the trip!!