New year’s eve 2012         1700

This will be a short entry. The thaw is almost complete on campus roads with the notable exception of the immediate vicinity of the block where I live of course. This means the first fifty yards outbound and the last fifty inbound require “stabilisers” and extreme caution unless I want to test the metalwork in my shoulder in a manner not recommended.

I completed examining another class this afternoon, leaving one to do on Friday morning early and the final one in the afternoon before I sit back and relax. I now have three days off and of course had I not cocked up with today’s lot I would have had Saturday to Thursday free instead of just the three days but never mind.

I don’t think it matters where in the world you are, I firmly believe that students are universally of the opinion that teachers have not only just come down with the last shower of rain but were also never students themselves and never pulled the same stunts. Half way through testing today’s batch I took a short break to go to the loo. I told the remaining ones who were waiting outside not to even think about sneaking into the room to look at the marks while I was away because what I had written was not necessarily the score they would receive. Even I don’t know, because as I have said before, I put two figures in the computer and the website crunches them and produces a different result - and I have yet to figure out the formula it uses. They were shocked when; on my return; I immediately asked which of them had contravened my instruction and nonetheless sneaked in. They didn’t have the sense to realise that prior to leaving I had aligned my pencil on top of the face-down paper so that unless they replaced it carefully I would know it had been moved. It doesn’t matter because with this class I think all the scores will go up, but it did make me laugh that they now realise I am not stupid.

My shopping, which was only ordered on Thursday night, has appeared quickly. The cat litter is being delivered to my door in an hour because I pay 10y instead of two for the privilege - I don’t like carrying 20kg up to the third floor. That should just leave one delivery of pizza sauce and the all-important pizza trays.

Thanks to Cinny’s efforts I now have a replacement hotplate. She really is very good, mind you she just sent me a load of proof-reading for the newspaper which she would like back by tomorrow! I suppose my next couple of hours are spoken for.

I am not sure I will make it to midnight but as we aliens have nothing planned it hardly matters if I miss Big Ben. All that remains now is for me to thank my readership for their time and wish everyone, regardless of location and time zone, a happy new year and hope that 2013 is healthy and prosperous for all! Enjoy your parties folks!

Saturday 29th December, 2012          1830

I looked out of my window mid-morning and was horrified to see snow. Horrified because that means no e-bike and having to walk. My 1530 lot cancelled because another test was sprung on them meaning I will do them as scheduled next Friday, but that still left me with the diehards who wanted to see a film. The snow was that bad that even Kevin didn’t want to take his car so we walked down together.

I haven’t a clue how to use the equipment in the media rooms seeing as everything is in Chinese and simply popping a DVD into the slide doesn’t induce it to play - or the screen to scroll down and the projector to turn on. Various students had a crack at The King’s Speech and eventually we were on our way. Or so I thought. What happened was that we were treated to the trailer for Chalet Girls four times, but no main picture. Some of the girls had the stupidity to suggest there was no film on the DVD, a fully legal commercial purchase made in the UK by my Mother and sent out to me, and one which Kevin has copied to his computer and shown his students using his own projector in class not three days ago. Anyway, we gave up on it and the students asked if they could watch another film instead. There are various ones saved on the computers so I said watch what you like. They only picked a flipping Madagascar film that I watched on iPlayer last night! Great fun.

I was rather hoping that with the snow tomorrow’s tug’o’war contest would be called off but no, it is being held indoors. At least this time we should have Monsieur (our pet name for the Chinese French teacher) and Ollivier, so we will have a bit of strength and youth and it should negate the need for slightly built female teachers to have to make up the numbers.

Sunday 30th     1830

Another cold and brisk day but one I have to say which was lovely and sunny. I made a pork casserole last night (which Kevin was grateful for seeing as he was staying on campus - he brought a large dog bowl to my room for a takeaway!) and as I only had a chicken stock cube, salt and pepper to make it with I put some chilli flakes in. Gave it a bite but it was fine, in fact it is dinner tonight as well.

I gave my flour to Kevin yesterday and asked him to bake a loaf with it in order to find out if the problem was indeed the flour. It isn’t. He produced a lovely loaf so it is back to the drawing board. Maybe program one is the wrong one so I will have to get a translation because it is really bugging me.

At four I took Pepsi out. Kiki had told me I had a delivery in the No 1 cafeteria so we went there first. The main campus roads have 75% thawed allowing me to ride, but first I had to get out of the road behind our block. The block faces south so of course it was still covered in snow and with no through traffic (aside from a few footprints) largely as it was yesterday. By dint of riding with my legs akimbo to act as stabilisers I managed to get onto terra almost firma and we set off. Any thoughts I had of leaving Pepsi outside the canteen while I collected my shopping evaporated when I saw four feral dogs lingering outside, two of them large. I tucked her under my arm and took her in. I put her down whilst the student located my goods and was most concerned to see Pepsi had run away, understandably for such a timid little dog because the pack had decided to investigate. I mounted a rescue mission, collected my baked beans and mozzarella (plus a free packet of some sort of hotpot sauce) and went to the shops.

You will recall my mentioning previously that there is a metal ramp on the stairs which e-bikes and e-pickups use (including me) to get up. Although it had defrosted it was still wet and coated in tyre deposits. Not a problem for vehicles but seeing as the ramp is identical to ships engine room plating, not advisable for pedestrians to use unless dry. A great many of them discovered this fact when the did a merry dance - lazy sods should use the steps because there are only five - and one boy actually came a complete cropper. I suspect by now he is in his dormitory regretting it and nursing a sore coccyx.

Oh, by the way, the tug’o’war today was cancelled, probably because most of the teachers who live off campus didn’t want to come in because of the weather. I am sure it will be rearranged for a time that is most inconvenient for me though.

The sun had dipped below the horizon when I came back and whereas it had been  around zero before, it became positively cold. I believe the forecast is minus six overnight so my hearty stew will be most welcome. I really must remember to put the electric blanket on my bed soon!

Friday 28th December, 2012         1630

I went to town yesterday simply to shop and as it was raining I thought I would try the 29 bus or at least take it to town and then cab it back. I didn’t hang about because I wanted to get back so Kiki could do my internet shopping for the month, so a quick flit around Lottemart followed by a brief lunch and I came out of the mall. Rather fortuitously, as I emerged I saw a 29 bus go through the traffic lights college-bound. It was only half full. Hmmmm, I thought, I wonder if the next one will be as well - far better to pay 1y instead of 30! It was, so for me a most unusual occurrence.

Doing the internet shop really brought home to me the fact that Kiki will not do it again for me. She will leave before next payday and although Joanna has said she will fill the void, I am going to miss Kiki dreadfully when she goes. I have however ordered half a dozen 9” pizza trays in the hope that this will cure the tendency for my pizzas to be perfectly cooked except in the very centre, where they are soggy, occasioned by the mini oven not producing an even heat. Next month of course I shall have to order sufficient supplies in order to be able to sustain myself for a month while everything closes here - there will be big batches of chilli and Bolognese made and frozen for later use.

Today was busy although I had good and bad news. The good news was that my morning class were advised there were no media rooms available for them to watch the film so we have knocked that idea on the head, the bad was that one of my classes asked me if I could examine the second half of the class tomorrow from 1530. I agreed, and it isn’t all bad because it then means I just have one class next Friday.

When I finished examining my morning class my assistant Cinny came to see me. I had asked her to get the Foreign Affairs Dept to organise a replacement hotplate for my defunct one. She gave me the news that the oh-so-efficient Foreign Affairs Officer’s reply to her request had been to the effect that as the machine is out of warranty there was nothing she could do as there are no spares on campus. Cinny has now been asked by me to get back to the FAO and point out that my contract states that the school will provide one and that although I have not pressed the TV issue, she had better sort this one out. If she refuses then the next port of call will be Prof Fang’s office because I can’t do without it and I have no intention of forking out for one from my own pocket. How that woman keeps that job is beyond any rational thinking. It is hardly a high cost item.

She also asked me if I was free at three on Sunday. They want me and Ollivier to take part in the tug’o’war between teachers. Great. Additionally, could I proof read the department newsletter before they print it? After the last one with its mistakes, when I found out she was in charge of it I suggested it might be a good idea. Before starting this blog I attacked the first page but there are so many grammatical and spelling mistakes (not to mention parts that are gibberish which I can’t even begin to edit) that I have had to send a text asking if she can email it to me. It would be more expeditious if I could simply emend it on my laptop and send it back because doing it all by hand will take forever.

2130

Just one amusing thing I remember from today. It occurred when I was testing a girl this afternoon. I held up a piece of paper and told her to imagine it was a ticket in her name for a fortnights holiday anywhere in the world, where would she like me to put as the destination and why?

England.

Ok, so she is trying to score more marks because I am English. Why England?

Because I have always loved England and when I was younger I dreamed of marrying with an English gentleman and  having a maxim baby.

A maxim baby - what on earth is that?

Maxim babies are very beautiful.

She did of course mean to say a mixed race baby!

Boxing day 2012                 1730

There’s nothing quite like going to work on Boxing Day after an alcohol fuelled Christmas night out. Even worse, you may recall I thought I would escape having to teach this weekend to make up for having next Wednesday and Thursday off? Remind me not to be so popular with my students. Both the classes I am supposed to teach on Saturday want me to find them a multimedia room and show the The Kings Speech! Great, I have seen it already and now have sit through it twice more on the same day!

Just to make it worse, today was appallingly cold with wind, rain and sleet - definitely a trip on the bus tomorrow because I simply cannot handle this sort of temperature any more. I was even frozen stiff in the classrooms so I am seriously considering at some stage buying a small but powerful convection heater to take with me to lessons.

This afternoon’s class comprised exams and indeed aside from Saturday the rest of my time until Friday next week will be the same. However this afternoon saw the oral test for “Bonnet”, real adopted English name Mickey. Of all my students she is the biggest problem. Not because she behaves badly but because she never contributes, when I ask her a direct question she just looks at the deck. The last lesson I caught her doing her homework for another lesson for goodness sake! Rather than revenge, this was a perfect opportunity to deliver that boot up the backside, and that’s exactly what I did in what I like to think was the correct and caring manner. The upshot was that I told her by rights I should fail her but wouldn’t if she promised me to take part in my classes next semester. She promised and I informed her she would get a really low mark, although I in return promised her it would be just sufficient for a pass. Now a student in England would take it on the chin and think themselves lucky but not here. “It’s not enough she said. Quite right, said I, so it’s up to you to improve your marks next semester”. Somehow I don’t think she was expecting that response!

2100

As for feeding the pets tinned food - that was the first and last time. Little Lottie was the only one who even tried to eat it and the rest went out of the window ten minutes ago. There is a school of thought which says cats are not capable of plotting revenge on their human servants but I would like them to come and live in my home for a while. My lot, if not fed properly, wreak havoc and destruction during sleeping hours, for I awoke this morning to find my room carpeted with Twinings tea bags. One of them had managed to dislodge the folded cardboard I use to keep the cupboard door wedged - thankfully none of the other stuff such as food ingredients suffered and I was able to salvage all bar six bags.

I went out with Pepsi half an hour ago for my shopping and it wasn’t raining then but was by the time we came back. And yes, bitterly cold. When I got back home I emptied my coat pockets and was confused by an alien set of keys. I have absolutely no idea how they got into my pocket but shortly thereafter I received a garbled call regarding them followed by a pause and then Yvonne coming on the phone to explain her classmate had lost her keys and did I have them? They came a short while ago to reclaim them but I am still none the wiser as to how they came to be in my possession. It is of course entirely possible that I am going slowly and not so quietly insane here.

I also made another loaf of bread tonight, this time following the same recipe as Kevin does, including using butter instead of oil and milk powder. It is still on the heavy side so I am at a loss and can only think that possibly it is the fault of the flour. He buys it for 24y per 5kgs and I have been buying the most expensive at 35y - maybe therein lies the problem. I WILL find out even if it kills me.

Christmas day 2012       1630

That’s it - work finished until the morning, two taxis organised to come from town to pick us up and in two hours we are off for our version of Christmas dinner.

I opened Sonya’s gift to me and there was a card, a tub of chocolates and a Santa hat which I will take tonight but probably get one of the girls to wear. It’s cold again today and I notice they are forecasting sleet or snow for tomorrow. Just my luck they say it will rain on Thursday when I will need to go to town shopping. If it is wet I will be forced to take the bus, so will probably leave early in the hope there won’t be many students taking it, thus trying to avoid a repeat of Sunday. With a couple of bags of shopping that would not have been fun at all.

Boxing day    0030

Ok so I thought I wouldn’t post - and shouldn’t seeing as I should be in bed by now because I am working in the morning but it IS Christmas after all!

The taxis arrived early and eight of us (Cassandra cried off at the eleventh hour for some reason I have yet to be told) sat down for a celebratory steak meal. Olivier (I am now ribbing him about being gay because he seems to bring boys as his dates even though he is married and with a second child arriving imminently), American Kevin from California, a boy, Kevin, Daisy, Kiki, Joanna and me. Everyone had steak even though there were such things as pizza on offer. Aside from taxis I forked out 300y in the restaurant which means with the additional special offer we got for buying a discount card the bill exceeded 1,000y. I would like to be able to say the meal was entirely satisfying but I can’t. Call me fussy if you wish but the T-bone I had must have had the living daylights kicked out of it to make it that tender and unrecognisable on the palate as being beef. It came with a modicum of spaghetti, peas, sweet corn and a fried egg although the pepper sauce was good. It really needed a good portion of chips! It was edible though, the wine was half decent even though we drank them dry and for the last bottle we had to order an expensive one. Because the occasion was not going to be about the food (sadly) I resolved to enjoy it for the company instead. It was great fun with two English at verbal war with a Yank and a Frenchy! All in good fun of course and indeed Kevin the American fired a few salvoes of his own back in our direction. I could not have been happier with Kiki and Joanna seated either side of me - both looked adorable.

Unfortunately the second taxi bringing us back deposited Ollivier and American Kevin outside my block just as I emerged from my cab. Manners dictated I invite them for a glass of plonk and the buggers polished off a bottle and a half - ok I helped - before I threw them out. It’s ok for Olivier because he has hardly any classes but I have more than both he and Kevin - almost both combined.

On the whole though, a good yuletide night but one on which had I known the portion sizes I would have ordered a starter! Here are the photos and one of them may appear in the local newspaper seeing as they asked to cover the laoweis celebrating their “special” day. Night all, and I hope everyone is up to the gills in cranberry sauce and booze.

Christmas Eve 2012          1815

Bloody students! My invitation for their concert said 3rd floor, 1800-2100. Not only was it on the 2nd floor but when I arrived at six I was informed it doesn’t start until seven!!!!! I wouldn’t have minded if I hadn’t had to rush around to make it on time and it wasn’t -4C! Needless to say I came back to keep in the warm a while longer. Being marginally south of the Yangtse the school doesn’t have heating in classrooms or public rooms which is fine for more southern locations but means here it is ridiculous in winter.

So far today I have started receiving many texts from my kids wishing me merry Christmas and have been given a boxed apple, wrapped orange and a cuddly Santa. I also have invitations to another party tomorrow night and also drinks with an unknown student, neither of which of course I can accept, given that we are off for an expensive meal which Kevin estimates will cost 100y a head meaning theoretically we three will pay 300y each to cover our guests, plus the cost of two taxis there and back. I can‘t see us getting much change out of 500y..

Today I discovered another flaw in my best laid plans for the exams (caused by the confusing two one week, one the next schedule I have) which I have managed to sort. Also I have not been told officially - although Kevin has - that we are supposed to work the weekend after new years day to make up for not working the 2nd and 3rd. Due to my having Thursday off this term I should only have to work Saturday to make up Wednesdays classes but as I am working extra this week and next in order to complete all my work on Friday 4th I will not be complying - I will have made them up beforehand. I did find the notice on the uni website but the Google translation is as clear as mud!

Yesterday’s bread was also awful, heavy enough to break your toe if you dropped it on your foot but I shall use some of it tonight for a dinner of beans on toast - at least it won’t all go to waste and the sauce should soften it I hope. I will add to this entry later hopefully with some photos from the party and then post it because as sure as eggs is eggs I won’t be posting anything tomorrow!

2230

Concert over and apologies to my Mum who rang half way through and I had to curtail the call! It was enjoyable seeing as it was just two of my classes staging it but seeing as they are all majoring in English I have to say I was a tad disappointed that the whole affair was conducted in Chinese! It is however warming to watch when you understand the amount of effort these young people put into trying to entertain people.

I have a busy day tomorrow - I just know I will be shattered by the time we eat - so I am frantically cooking animal food now which will be followed by my beans on toast, the latter only after my laundry is hung up because I just realised I only have one pair of clean socks. Actually, that’s a lie because my baby sister got me some which are still unused because I want to wear all my old ones out first!

So, enjoy the photos and may I take this opportunity to thank all my readers around the globe for sticking with me for the past year. I hope everyone, no matter where you are or who you are with, enjoys their Christmas day and eats, drinks and enjoys themselves far too much. Merry Christmas to everyone!

Sunday 23rd December, 2012        1600

I went to the bank today to ensure that I have enough money on Tuesday to pay my share of the dinner bill. As it was cold I decided to take the bus. The number 7 stops only feet from the bank and is always empty when it arrives here town-bound. I got my money and as the bank was quiet I went and sat at Sonya’s window for a chat. She has promised to treat me to dinner one day in January and I look forward to that very much. She also did the sweetest thing - she has bought me a gift for Christmas. It was a rigmarole getting it because she had to put it in between the two “vapour lock” anti burglar doors, then buzz me in the retrieve it, but it was a lovely gesture and I won’t open it until Tuesday.

As I was in town I thought I may as well eat, so walked to KFC then all the way back to the bus stop. To my dismay when the bus came it was standing room only and remained so the entire way. I had no worries about falling over if it stopped suddenly - there wasn’t enough room to fall. I ended up stuck near the exit doors and as a result had some harsh words and trials of strength where despite my squashing myself as small as I could, people alighting simply decided to use brute force against me. More than a few regretted doing so. Unless it is during the holidays next time I will take the bike regardless of the temperature or maybe bus in and cab back.

I don’t think I mentioned this before but do you remember Joey, the lad I was helping in the summer because he had failed IELTS three times and his father told him the next attempt was his last as he would not pay any more, the one who “forgot” it was his birthday? Well a few days ago I learnt this time he passed, so obviously I did something right. No sign of an elaborate gift from the well to do father though, I am sad to say!

The bread I made the other night has been donated for use as a foundation stone for one of the new accommodation blocks being built on campus. However Kevin had a crack at translating the basic loaf recipe in the new instructions and besides getting teaspoons and tablespoons reversed and a mystery ingredient we can‘t even guess at, I now can have a crack  at the manufacturers recommendation once the unknown ingredient is identified. I shall put it on to make shortly, after I go and visit 303 or 305 for a translation - if they are in.

2100

Considering this is a country where Christmas is not celebrated the students could have fooled me! What with all their concerts and whatnot, when I went to the shops earlier there were twinkling lights everywhere, at the side of the road and on tables outside the cafes where the kids were selling wrapped apples & oranges, apples and vases made of coloured beads, little nightlights that slowly change colour etc. I ended up standing next to a table manned by a girl chemistry major while drinking my ale and she tried to flog me a bead apple. I declined because it would last ten minutes in here with the cats, but we got chatting after a fashion. Eventually she gave me a boxed apple and a Chinese lantern  for free - I felt I had to return the favour by buying her a Fanta. She also gave me a “first” - she opened a lantern, lit it and gave it to me to wait until it took flight. As for the apple? Well seeing as my two favourite girls are being treated to steak at Christmas, presents are not really called for but seeing as I bought Kiki a sweater I think I will give it to Joanna. Next Christmas K won’t be here so I will treat Joanna to something better instead.

After following the Chinese instructions re the bread I now have a rather small one pound loaf so in a while I will try it. If that’s not much cop I will omit the milk powder next time. If that doesn’t damned well work then I will use the recipe in Kevin’s manual for the Panasonic, and if THAT doesn’t work I will hang myself!

A short time ago I changed my bed and put on the winter quilt seeing as it gets parky in here at night even with the heating on low. I forgot to put the electric blanket on and am not unmaking it again just for that so it will keep until next laundry change. For the first time in a month I think, my knee is starting to seize again so hopefully - as with last time - one tablet overnight will banish it for another month, although somehow I think it may not as we dip below zero in the next couple of months.

I had a panic when I returned home this evening and put a pot on to boil for the pet liver - the hotplate refused to come on. Luckily Kevin is on campus and not downtown as he normally would be on a Sunday night, so I have borrowed his. In the morning I will have to give mine a good clean before reporting it as defective - I can’t do without one because of the animals.  

Friday 21st December, 2012            2330

I am still awaiting Armageddon so I assume if the doomsayers were correct it will happen in my sleep and this entry will never be read.

I need a rest. Yet another concert/party tonight and another to come on Christmas Eve night but at least tonight all I was expected to do was sit and watch and drink the beers the students provided. It was their first attempt at organising a show and of course there were a few glitches, but in the main it was enjoyable. I am only sorry I forgot to take my camera - not that it was a spectacle to rival Tuesday’s gala but because my own pupils organised and took part. They had decorated the blackboard (we were in a classroom which could accommodate 200 and it did tonight) with “Welcome Lo Our Christmas Party - Celebrate the End of the World!” Forget the “Lo” instead of “To” and concentrate on the last part. Contrary to many press/media reports, the Chinese in the main do not think the end is nigh.

Our Christmas dinner courtesy of the university is tomorrow at 1730 at the Happiness hotel (well, that’s the English translation!) and although I may have been there I have no idea of where it is. I intend to do stuff all tomorrow before that except ensure I have a long sleeved shirt pressed and some clean trousers. I won’t wear a suit because I can’t fit into it - well maybe my evening suit but that would be overkill - and anyway Ollivier doesn’t have one, the Chinese contingent won’t be wearing one and as long as we are smart then who cares? I will try to remember the camera. And just in case I get back late or get waylaid I have ensured the animals will get fed even if I am too “tired” to cook. There are, for the first time ever, tins of dog and cat food in my cupboard which will be opened and dumped in their communal bowl.

Saturday 22nd            2145

So that was Christmas dinner with the school. There was sleet when I rode my bike to the English department block to wait for our lift, only to find that of course there was a cock up. Alice (Kevin’s assistant) had assumed that the teacher who was giving her, Ollivier and me a lift was invigilating CET6 exams but in fact he was at home downtown. Eventually she persuaded a teacher from another department to give us a lift to town, albeit nowhere near the restaurant. This then involved a decent hike to crossroads to hail a taxi and I was not impressed because I was wearing my other pair of slightly too small shoes! With hindsight the delay was probably merciful because we didn’t have so long to wait while the card games were played and the food arrived. It wouldn’t be a problem if beer was offered on arrival instead of green tea.

It was actually a damned good evening, plenty of dishes on offer - initially there were twenty on the table but more followed later. I asked my neighbour what one particular dish was and was informed it was dog meat. Naturally I wasn’t going to even think about trying it but when Kevin took some and ate it I asked how could he?  He swore blind it was beef but Prof Fang continued the charade (if charade it was) and assured me it was dog. I will try anything once but I draw the line at that and regardless of what it was, not a morsel passed my lips.

Nonetheless. I did enjoy myself, in fact it was probably the best occasion so far that the university have laid on. Oddly, Kevin and I were seated either side of Prof Fang and the new boy Ollivier was two seats removed when I fully expected as a freshman he would take pride of place. Chinese formal dinners have a strict seating code (for those who don’t know) and plonking one’s backside on the wrong chair can incur huge displeasure. However I know Ollivier wants to sign again for a second year so I put in some good words for him by way of pointing out that his French corners are well attended because he cooks them pancakes. They don’t go to learn French but to eat! I also took the opportunity to ascertain whether Kevin and I needed to come in April to ask if our contracts would be renewed for 2013-2014 and I am happy to say that there will be no problems in that respect.

I was a little disappointed my assistant Cinny wasn’t seated beside me but I did inform Prof Fang that she has been excellent. The Prof was rather pleased as it had been her appointment, but more importantly I hope, it will go in her favour with the school. I actually mentioned the seating arrangements in the cab on the way home and it was as I suspected, Cinny hinted at the pecking order thing. My old drinking mate Director Shiu of the Foreign Affairs Dept (pictured to the side of Ollivier and wearing a dark blue striped shirt) was on good form despite his wife being present and as usual encouraged the others to pick on me to “gambay”. At one point I protested that they were neglecting the French contingent because Ollie can pack away booze as well as me. Kevin was keen to point out that in fact he can’t although from the plonk he puts away at our western meals it seemed the case to me.

So tomorrow I am free, Kiki and I will do my internet shopping, the list for which I may adjust to allow batch cooking of things like chilli con carne for the long cold holiday seeing as we will probably only have one more western meal before we all relax. I haven’t a clue what classes I am seeing next week or at what times, one of mine asked if I could accommodate them with a change  so my schedule is awry. The important thing is that my Thursday is yet again free. I have yet another student party/concert to attend on Monday night and I know the ones I rearranged for have one Christmas night. Sadly because we are going for our steak dinner (both Kiki and Joanna will be my guests) I had to decline. I feel bad because clearly the pupils don’t realise the importance of the day for us, although I have had three invitations to go and stay at girls parents’ homes for Chinese new year - again declined because nobody is available to look after my brood. Such are the joys of pets!

Wednesday 19th December, 2012          2045

Knackered today and it is absolutely perishing. I just hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow because even though I don’t want to ride to town tomorrow - I always consider the bus in the cold - I have to ride because on Monday the spring (or something) broke on the main stand of my bike. I was taking Pepsi for a ride and the stand dragged on the ground, with the resulting metal-on-concrete sound. Pepsi is of an extremely nervous disposition anyway and before we had travelled five feet she had shot off the bike like a scalded cat. So I have to take it to be fixed as at present it is tied up to keep it above ground and I don’t like using the side stand because I always think it will topple over.

It looks as if our actions over the last meal has put the message across because this morning we all (foreigners) received calls or texts asking if we were free on Saturday afternoon so the school could take us for Christmas dinner. We are free and it was nice to get a few days rather than a few hours notice. Long may it continue. The Christmas meal is normally a smaller occasion than the mid-autumn meal because it takes place purely for the westerners’ benefit, however I am sure it will be a lovely repast.

Both my classes today expressed disgruntlement with me because last night I never gave them any of my gifts. I took pains to point out that my intention had been to tour the auditorium but the students were so greedy and eager to get hold of a trinket and blocked my passage that short of beating them back (and being videoed to boot) might have appeared unseemly and would rather jar with the “Ho Ho Ho!” image I was trying to project!  

Now this evening when I took the mutt to the shops I happened to notice a girl who came into the café to order some food. I don’t have a particular fetish you understand, but I couldn’t help but notice she had no earlobes. Curiosity piqued, I then observed the other people in there and to my surprise none of them had any either! I shall now have to continue my research in case this is the same with all Chinese.

Thursday 20th         1930

I really don’t want to be doing that too often. Yes, it was not only freezing cold but also raining when I went to town. I had to wear the cape which meant I couldn’t wear my furry hat or my earmuffs, not pleasant. First stop was the repair shop for the bike - a thirty second job for them to simply fit a new spring and I was on my way again. And yet again  my little shop still has no cigars, so that involved going to the other two outlets, one had two packs and the other had two packs but also had some little tins of ten Café Crème type smokes so I bought a carton of those. I am sure the price was 10y a tin but they charged me 200y and when I got home I found there were just ten tins and not twenty in a box. I will certainly check the price next time I go and have words if I am right, bloody cheek.

At five o’clock I became the proud owner of an “intelligent bread maker” on which all the buttons and screen display are in Chinese and the instruction booklet is the same. So far I have had no success searching for online instructions in either English or Chinese - the latter I can get Google to translate. I will ask Kevin to see if he can find some, failing which I will ask Joanna to translate longhand for me. I suppose I could have a bash at sticking ingredients in, running it on whatever it is preset to when you plug it in and seeing what happens - it‘s usually the small loaf with a medium crust!

I washed my trainers last night in the washing machine and of course in this weather there was no chance of them drying out so I bought electric shoe dryers you put inside and plug in. they heat up and theoretically dry your shoes. I left them drying for 18 hours and by lunchtime they still weren’t dry so I had to wear my slightly small shoes to town. I am rather hoping that if I leave them on all tonight I will actually be able to wear them in the morning.

I have yet another English corner/party tomorrow at six. Being my light week I have a break from ten until after lunch and as I have cocked up with exam dates for one class (it didn’t help when I see them once one week, twice the next and then finding out we are off the first three days of 2013) I had hoped that class was free at 1020 so I could make a start. No such luck, nor on Monday when I also have time so guess who will be working for a while on the afternoon of his day off next week?

Enough for now, I am off to continue searching for instructions……

Tuesday 18th December, 2012         2300

I did warn you I was going to be busy!

The macaroni au gratin was a huge success with the three foreigners who each had at least two portions (Ollivier is a pig and had three) and Daisy ate her portion. Sadly Yvonne and Sally (Ollivier’s student) were polite and said it was delicious but left most of theirs, showing how different palates are around the world. Bizarrely, the slices of tomato on the top of the macaroni disappeared and were their favourites! Still, at least they enjoyed the pancakes and biscuits.

Today has been exhausting, six lessons to teach then a quick hour at home before the Christmas concert during which I pressed some trousers and cleaned a pair of shoes which are slightly too small for me. I didn’t want to wear trainers tonight.

I got to the theatre a few minutes before seven and took my seat next to Kevin - there was no sign of Ollivier, who eventually turned up at 1930 claiming nobody told him the time! I asked Prof Fang’s assistant at which point I was on stage purely so I knew when not to decide to go to the toilet, and was told in between acts six and seven. As there were a total of twelve acts I naturally assumed I would be called away a little before eight seeing as the show was scheduled to last until nine. I settled down with my beer disguised as Chinese green tea and watched act one. It was girls dancing with fans and to my delight Yvonne was one of the performers (see photo where she is the only one standing with a blue fan) and they were very, very good. I was proud of her this evening.

No sooner had they finished than I was summoned backstage! I thought “bloody hell, that’s early!” but went anyway. Backstage were all the acts, many nervous students pacing about, and one even asked me if I was nervous. Many years ago (many) I would have been, but I said of course I wasn’t, and now I regret it because perhaps it would have helped her to think perhaps I was. I will know better next time. Anyway I got togged up in my Santa outfit, which prompted a stampede of people brandishing mobile phones and demanding “can I make a photo with you?” Of  course, part of my life here is to pose for pictures they can show online or send to their parents, so a good ten minutes was spent on that. Eventually I managed to have a smoke because they had called me so early - although thankfully I hadn’t missed the one performance I really wanted to see, which was Yvonne’s. I didn’t have many of my students on stage tonight because normally the acts are sophomores or older.

Anyway, Santa’s arrival on stage heralded the biggest applause from a packed house - tickets are allocated and sadly although it is a welcoming party for freshmen the venue is not big enough to accommodate them all. I think it is a crying shame. They provided me with a sack of gifts which probably at most cost 2y apiece and when I left the stage to distribute them my aim was to give one to each of the young children of the teachers who had come but I was unprepared for the crowd of students who left their seats in a desperate hurry to claim a gift from Santa of such small value! Yes, I managed to sort out the youngsters and even give Prof Fang and the Vice Chancellor a little stuffed Santa and Elf respectively but Christ it was pandemonium. So much so in fact that I was asked to cut it short so the next act could begin. My intention had been to go around the auditorium so the people at the back also had a chance but it was not to be. Doubtless many of my students will take me to task because I never picked them as recipients - such is life!

Anyway, that’s it for now, Santa is plum tuckered out!