Sunday 30th November, 2014 0020
Quite why I am starting this entry at this time given my plan is to be up early enough to have a Mcbreakfast in the morning is beyond me, but here goes.
As you know, against my better judgement I agreed ultimately to do both the morning and afternoon sessions of judging the singing today. Given that from my sneaky peeks it appeared the other three judges all consistently scored the acts far higher than I did, perhaps I am more like Simon Cowell than I would like to be. However I don’t believe it makes a blind bit of difference to the end result as long as you are consistent and honest. The fact is, I hate judging because I hate to disappoint but at least when there are four of you, the blame is not really apportionable to an individual.
The ride in was a bit parky even with a fleece under my coat but I arrived in good time - knackered as seems to always be the case these days. The first contestant was a boy and I have no idea what he was thinking when he entered this competition. It was as excruciating to listen to as it would be to hear the result of a tomcat and a zither being microwaved. Great start.
It did however on occasion get better - many performers should never have entered but some were genuinely good, in fact out of a total of 45 (I think) my scores suggested at the end of the day that there were six I really liked.
The 4th contestant was a little cutie of perhaps ten years of age who sang a song I had never heard but found myself liking the catchiness. I awarded her the highest score up to that point. After we had done the first half it was time for lunch but I had to ride back because of Pepsi. I looked up the song the little girl sang (and she is absolutely adorable, if a little timid) and for anyone interested, she sang this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MLDkBDqo4E
I suffered remorse at the end as in the morning session I awarded three performers 9.2 as the highest but with the older ones in the afternoon three of them were given 9.3. In hindsight the young girl should have been given the same. However, I am certain she is through to the finals to be held just before Christmas in an hotel downtown and if she sings as well then I will not make the same mistake again. She won’t win - older acts will - but she deserves a place in my view and I will do what I can.
When I returned for the afternoon session the fleece was dumped. This time I wore my down jacket underneath the coat! I should also perhaps have worn long john bottoms but at least I wasn’t in too much discomfort. I also decided to time the run to the school on the new bike. The old one, which was the fastest I had had to date, used to do door to door in 23 minutes. I knew the new one was faster but was stunned to note it did it in 17 minutes!
I have to admit to feeling somewhat jaded by the time the last contestant had been heard and by which time the sun was setting. There will be fewer entrants at the final of the contest although I will have to be Santa afterwards. My consolation is that I am sure I will get a dinner at the end of it.
Kevin made it back from collecting his passport in Shanghai tonight. He should have been back yesterday but they cancelled his bus! What with having to find an hotel for an extra night he is regretting not flying now even though it would have cost him 3,000y return. Ten hours on a bus is not my idea of fun, at least on the train you can get up and stretch your legs and more importantly, smoke. That is why my plan for the Christmas outing is to bus up to Hefei (it arrives earlier) and get the train back when it doesn’t matter how long it takes - bizarrely the train takes an hour longer.
We have had a thunderstorm tonight which I hope will be gone when I want to go to town. I need breakfast, shopping and now I need to take the bike as my first teething problem is that the saddle won’t lock down.
Sunday 30th 1430
I can’t get that song out of my head now!
Anna has to sing a song for this hostess competition she entered and she didn’t know which song to sing so when we messaged on Skype last night I simply sent her “Count on me”. She really should be blonde because she refused my offer, saying if we sang together I would steal the show!!!! After explaining what I meant, she is now going to try singing it if she can find a microphone. I suspect she has a voice that is sweet enough to get away with singing it, at least I hope so.
I did get up early enough for a cold ride this morning, although not as cold as they are forecasting for the rest of the week from Tuesday onwards. It is predicted the highs and lows will be one and zero respectively! For this part of the world that seems to me to be winter arriving early so God help us in January and February. I suppose with three relatively mild winters having passed we are due a harsh one again.
In RT Mart I had a look at what salad was available for Wednesday’s cheese fondue. Annoyingly not a lot. No proper lettuce and just tomatoes and cucumber. No such thing as radishes here and celery is seasonal so two weeks ago saw the last of that. I will go on Tuesday anyway to buy as much of what I would like as possible, maybe spring onions will put in an appearance. I did buy a baguette which I will use for dinner tonight with home made ham, tomato and English (not that French muck) mustard.
It gave me a thought though for Christmas. Well not Christmas day as I will be working morning and afternoon, but definitely feasible for Christmas eve, providing there are no functions. Highly unlikely we will be treated to a school banquet, they seem to have gone by the board following the government edict prohibiting the use of public funds for entertainment. If I can find a decent sized pork leg I could make a ham on the bone and we could throw a traditional English Christmas dinner with roast potatoes as well as mash if the other laowei used their ovens and hobs too. I will sound them out and if it’s a green light, scour Taobao for piquant sauce or the ingredients to make it.
After shopping I went to the bike shop to complain about my saddle and was immediately made to look a complete chump. Rather than a key and lock affair to release it, as with all my other bikes, this being a different brand has another system. You open the saddle by twisting the ignition key backwards. Well of course I can’t read the little instruction leaflet but I have guessed if you twist the key back twice it stops it locking, so the solution is to do it again and problem solved. Stupid idea.
Time to wrap this up now, I fancy an hour in bed while my laundry is doing.
Sunday, 30 November 2014
Friday, 28 November 2014
Friday 28th November, 2014 1600
Yesterday was miserably wet. When I left before eight for my first lesson it was overcast and dry but when I came out of the classroom for the break it was raining and then shortly afterwards the thunder and lightning started. My class were not best pleased for only a handful of them had brought umbrellas with them. They were lucky because by ten when we finished it was merely spitting.
Being utterly drained because I slept badly, I managed to grab forty winks before the afternoon class which of course screwed me up for sleeping last night, resulting in me feeling worse today than I did yesterday. I have resisted the temptation to take to my bed this afternoon though.
I would have done but for the fact that the school owner in town has coerced me into judging both the morning and afternoon sessions of his singing contest tomorrow, when initially I had agreed to just do the afternoon. Due to Pepsi that means I will have to travel in and back twice. In the hope that it will be at least dry tomorrow I am charging the bike, if not it will mean bussing it. I sincerely hope I will be treated to a free dinner afterwards.
Today has been dry despite the forecast, although it is getting pretty cold now. My pork was ready, having been curing for a week and has now been boiling for two hours so I hope the resulting ham is good. This time though I haven’t dumped the cure, because of the expense of the ingredients I am going to try an experiment and re-use the cure for another batch. If it works, fine, if not all I will lose is some pork - and that’s one of the cheapest bits or the process!
1900
Just back from my little trip out with Pepsi to the “office” where Ollivier joined us. Kevin is currently in Shanghai collecting his new passport because they don’t bloody courier them any more.
Ollivier is rather excited about Wednesday and his cheese fondue we are going to eat. In fact there is little else he is talking about. I for once don’t actually have to lift a finger if I don’t want but considering I have never had a cheese fondue before and the fact that I think just cheese and stale bread will be too “samey” I am going to buy and prepare an English type salad (ingredient availability depending) for everyone to either eat before or use as an accompaniment to the cheese. This had better be good because for the first time ever I am going to have to buy wine! Normally I pay for the majority of the food and the others provide the grog.
Following a chance remark by one of my students, I now have the school video of our summer concert which if memory serves was staged in May. I - or rather my laptop - spent 24 hours uploading it to YouTube and if you would like to watch you will find it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FodcIZ7nKDc
The vast majority is in languages other than English but if you like pretty girls dancing and the like you may enjoy it. It lasts one hour and you can also see me getting called a silly little man. Come to think of it, that wasn’t in the script so maybe someone deserves a good thump!
Now though it is time to cook myself a chicken and veg pie, mash and peas with gravy and then an early night. The ham seems to have turned out very well indeed so fingers crossed.
Yesterday was miserably wet. When I left before eight for my first lesson it was overcast and dry but when I came out of the classroom for the break it was raining and then shortly afterwards the thunder and lightning started. My class were not best pleased for only a handful of them had brought umbrellas with them. They were lucky because by ten when we finished it was merely spitting.
Being utterly drained because I slept badly, I managed to grab forty winks before the afternoon class which of course screwed me up for sleeping last night, resulting in me feeling worse today than I did yesterday. I have resisted the temptation to take to my bed this afternoon though.
I would have done but for the fact that the school owner in town has coerced me into judging both the morning and afternoon sessions of his singing contest tomorrow, when initially I had agreed to just do the afternoon. Due to Pepsi that means I will have to travel in and back twice. In the hope that it will be at least dry tomorrow I am charging the bike, if not it will mean bussing it. I sincerely hope I will be treated to a free dinner afterwards.
Today has been dry despite the forecast, although it is getting pretty cold now. My pork was ready, having been curing for a week and has now been boiling for two hours so I hope the resulting ham is good. This time though I haven’t dumped the cure, because of the expense of the ingredients I am going to try an experiment and re-use the cure for another batch. If it works, fine, if not all I will lose is some pork - and that’s one of the cheapest bits or the process!
1900
Just back from my little trip out with Pepsi to the “office” where Ollivier joined us. Kevin is currently in Shanghai collecting his new passport because they don’t bloody courier them any more.
Ollivier is rather excited about Wednesday and his cheese fondue we are going to eat. In fact there is little else he is talking about. I for once don’t actually have to lift a finger if I don’t want but considering I have never had a cheese fondue before and the fact that I think just cheese and stale bread will be too “samey” I am going to buy and prepare an English type salad (ingredient availability depending) for everyone to either eat before or use as an accompaniment to the cheese. This had better be good because for the first time ever I am going to have to buy wine! Normally I pay for the majority of the food and the others provide the grog.
Following a chance remark by one of my students, I now have the school video of our summer concert which if memory serves was staged in May. I - or rather my laptop - spent 24 hours uploading it to YouTube and if you would like to watch you will find it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FodcIZ7nKDc
The vast majority is in languages other than English but if you like pretty girls dancing and the like you may enjoy it. It lasts one hour and you can also see me getting called a silly little man. Come to think of it, that wasn’t in the script so maybe someone deserves a good thump!
Now though it is time to cook myself a chicken and veg pie, mash and peas with gravy and then an early night. The ham seems to have turned out very well indeed so fingers crossed.
Thursday, 27 November 2014
Wednesday 26th November.2014 2330
Far too late considering I need to be awake at 0600 but ………..
Well the bullet was not only bitten but swallowed as well today.
I went to town after lunch on a mission to buy a bike. As always with anything I do in China it was not without problem. One very big one in fact.
The sodding bike shop I have used for four years and bought six bikes from has disappeared and now they are selling bedding from within! Well that threw me a little bit but I had braved the cold air to chop in the old silver streak and I was determined it was now or never - or at least until the weather warms up.
Opposite “my” bike shop there has always been another one but it has sold really ugly e-bikes more befitting a sixties American film but I took a gander in their window. Yep, still ugly bikes but at the far end there looked to be some candidates.
I am pretty conservative and don’t want to stand out for the wrong reasons so 90% of what they had was out. There were a few bikes similar to what I was looking to trade in but who the hell takes a Fiesta in and buys one a year younger unless it is different?
Anyway, there WERE two that caught my eye. One in yellow and one in black with red flashings. The black was immediately ruled out on account of a black bike being involved in my near-fatal brush with an artic forty months ago, so the yellow it was going to be if anything. I am an impulse buyer and a salesman’s dream so the girls working there must have thought Santa had arrived early.
I had expected to part with 2,500y but despite haggling and exchanging the tired old hack I ended up agreeing on 3,000. This is where it gets into the silly, late mid-life crisis stage. This is the seventh bike I have owned in China and hitherto every single one has had a topbox to carry shopping. This bike doesn’t have one.
No problem, thought I, just hand the carrier bags on the luggage hook at the front. I forgot one thing.
Pepsi.
How the hell can I have a bag of beer and wine where she sits when I take her out? This I only realised when I took her out tonight. Thanks to a fellow teacher in Japan, a young chap who survived the Japanese tsunami a couple of years back suggesting I buy a backpack to keep Pepsi in. Idiotic idea of course but thinking about it, I could buy one to keep the SHOPPING in!
That problem solved, there is another. The shop being small, I couldn’t test ride the damned bike and nobody spoke English. None of the bikes for sale had batteries fitted - hence I am a dream customer - I sealed the deal sight unridden.
There’s no “cruise control”. Every Xin Ri/SunRa bike has had a thing where if you maintain a speed for 8 seconds the bike will carry on using the same power - but not this one. Shit. Having said that - and it may be psychological - this one does go like greased weasel excrement off a blanket. Digital dashboard, disc brakes at the front and headlights that actually allow me to see ahead.
I am very happy though with the blazing banana and look forward to timing the school to Lottemart run, which I believe the Silver Streak set the record for at 23 minutes.
Far too late considering I need to be awake at 0600 but ………..
Well the bullet was not only bitten but swallowed as well today.
I went to town after lunch on a mission to buy a bike. As always with anything I do in China it was not without problem. One very big one in fact.
The sodding bike shop I have used for four years and bought six bikes from has disappeared and now they are selling bedding from within! Well that threw me a little bit but I had braved the cold air to chop in the old silver streak and I was determined it was now or never - or at least until the weather warms up.
Opposite “my” bike shop there has always been another one but it has sold really ugly e-bikes more befitting a sixties American film but I took a gander in their window. Yep, still ugly bikes but at the far end there looked to be some candidates.
I am pretty conservative and don’t want to stand out for the wrong reasons so 90% of what they had was out. There were a few bikes similar to what I was looking to trade in but who the hell takes a Fiesta in and buys one a year younger unless it is different?
Anyway, there WERE two that caught my eye. One in yellow and one in black with red flashings. The black was immediately ruled out on account of a black bike being involved in my near-fatal brush with an artic forty months ago, so the yellow it was going to be if anything. I am an impulse buyer and a salesman’s dream so the girls working there must have thought Santa had arrived early.
I had expected to part with 2,500y but despite haggling and exchanging the tired old hack I ended up agreeing on 3,000. This is where it gets into the silly, late mid-life crisis stage. This is the seventh bike I have owned in China and hitherto every single one has had a topbox to carry shopping. This bike doesn’t have one.
No problem, thought I, just hand the carrier bags on the luggage hook at the front. I forgot one thing.
Pepsi.
How the hell can I have a bag of beer and wine where she sits when I take her out? This I only realised when I took her out tonight. Thanks to a fellow teacher in Japan, a young chap who survived the Japanese tsunami a couple of years back suggesting I buy a backpack to keep Pepsi in. Idiotic idea of course but thinking about it, I could buy one to keep the SHOPPING in!
That problem solved, there is another. The shop being small, I couldn’t test ride the damned bike and nobody spoke English. None of the bikes for sale had batteries fitted - hence I am a dream customer - I sealed the deal sight unridden.
There’s no “cruise control”. Every Xin Ri/SunRa bike has had a thing where if you maintain a speed for 8 seconds the bike will carry on using the same power - but not this one. Shit. Having said that - and it may be psychological - this one does go like greased weasel excrement off a blanket. Digital dashboard, disc brakes at the front and headlights that actually allow me to see ahead.
I am very happy though with the blazing banana and look forward to timing the school to Lottemart run, which I believe the Silver Streak set the record for at 23 minutes.
Tuesday, 25 November 2014
Tuesday 25th November, 2014 1400
And the rain continues.
Not heavy but insistent, nonetheless I stuck with my plan of going to town for breakfast and shopping. Indeed, after breakfast I went to the supermarket and on the spur of the moment bought the ingredients to make lasagne. Well, naturally not the lasagne sheets themselves, they are only available online at huge expense, but the nuts and bolts. Anna has asked me to teach her how to cook western food and so tonight Matthew, she will be cooking it! It seems strange not to be making something like that for a western Wednesday but who cares?
I have definitely learnt the secret of this bus taking lark though. The secret is to go and come back early on a weekday. The buses are sparsely populated both ways so there is no need to look old or infirm in order to be given a seat!
Afterwards I took Pepsi to my office, just before school finished for lunch and they became manic. They were dead at noon and then all hell broke loose for precisely one hour, after which I was the only customer. The restaurant trade here is all or nothing and the speed with which people enter, get their food, bolt it down and leave is phenomenal. Not just students either, it is simply the culture - even formal meals are abbreviated by western standards.
One of my first actions on waking of a morning is to switch on the laptop and read the news. I visited the Daily Telegraph site (always do after checking the BBC) and as always went to the China section, where there was an article on the crackdown on building strange edifices. As the lead picture was of the piano house in Huainan which I visited in the summer, naturally it caught my eye. I opened the article and started reading. As I scanned it, I thought a quote from Trip Advisor seemed familiar. Hang on - I think I wrote that! Of course I wasn’t sure and so had to then go to their site to read my own review. Sure enough, it WAS me! In all honesty there are only two reviews and mine was chosen but it was gratifying to see mine chosen over the Australian Brisbane entry. Also it’s the first time I have seen my comments in the DT - plenty of other papers but not that one. I am sure my friend, reviewer extraordinaire and published author Geoff Woodland (shameless plug for his book Triangle Trade, available on Taobao, Amazon and all good bookshops worldwide and well worth buying) with four times as many reviews as me has been oft quoted but there’s a certain je ne sais quois about chancing upon your own comments in a national broadsheet. For anyone remotely interested it is here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/11249894/Five-of-Chinas-most-bizarre-buildings.html
After pondering last night on the e-bike situation I am three quarters of the way towards chopping in the old one for a new model. My current one seems sluggish now and winter notwithstanding, a bike that I can’t trust to take me to town and back is of no use to me. Certainly many people here have them just to potter about on campus but my bikes do a lot of mileage. If I can take the bike without getting frostbite tomorrow then I will do so. It will eat up half my savings but I may well go and do the deed.
The good or bad news today depending on how you look at it, is that it seems we foreign teachers won’t be required to perform at the Christmas concert this year. This news was greeted with relief by Kevin, who is not particularly at ease being centre stage unless he is reciting poetry. It’s not a precedent as we were surplus to requirements two years ago when they had a surfeit of student acts (and the last thing we want to do is deprive students of their chance to shine) but this time I am told the students organising it never included us in their plans. I reckon they are Kevin’s mob and he dropped unsubtle hints but it will be nice just to turn up and watch the show instead of spending half of it backstage or on it. In fact as this year the show isn’t that close to Christmas (I think that means it will be after new year) there is doubt whether I will be Santa and I will find out for sure this afternoon. I already have two appearances booked so at least the new costume will not have been bought in vain.
1945
Well the show is 16th December but apparently there will be no Santa this year. It was suggested I could lend the outfit to any student groups who did stage their own Christmas show but you can guess my answer to that! I am going to be the only person who wears that and I shall kepp it or take it with me if or when I leave here. I think I do a passable Ho Ho Ho and I don’t need a cushion or a pillow in front either.
Anna came and helped prepare the lasagne. God knows what it will taste like - it’s cooking now - but she had to leave to practise her dancing for some competition. I have told her to come back when she is finished so she can taste the fruit of her labours. I could get used to having someone do all the chopping for me. Although I have a cheap blender I do miss my all-singing food processor I left behind in the UK. Lazy I know, but grating cheese, slicing carrots, cucumbers etc is so much easier when you have one.
2000
Tucking into dinner. Tastes lovely!
And the rain continues.
Not heavy but insistent, nonetheless I stuck with my plan of going to town for breakfast and shopping. Indeed, after breakfast I went to the supermarket and on the spur of the moment bought the ingredients to make lasagne. Well, naturally not the lasagne sheets themselves, they are only available online at huge expense, but the nuts and bolts. Anna has asked me to teach her how to cook western food and so tonight Matthew, she will be cooking it! It seems strange not to be making something like that for a western Wednesday but who cares?
I have definitely learnt the secret of this bus taking lark though. The secret is to go and come back early on a weekday. The buses are sparsely populated both ways so there is no need to look old or infirm in order to be given a seat!
Afterwards I took Pepsi to my office, just before school finished for lunch and they became manic. They were dead at noon and then all hell broke loose for precisely one hour, after which I was the only customer. The restaurant trade here is all or nothing and the speed with which people enter, get their food, bolt it down and leave is phenomenal. Not just students either, it is simply the culture - even formal meals are abbreviated by western standards.
One of my first actions on waking of a morning is to switch on the laptop and read the news. I visited the Daily Telegraph site (always do after checking the BBC) and as always went to the China section, where there was an article on the crackdown on building strange edifices. As the lead picture was of the piano house in Huainan which I visited in the summer, naturally it caught my eye. I opened the article and started reading. As I scanned it, I thought a quote from Trip Advisor seemed familiar. Hang on - I think I wrote that! Of course I wasn’t sure and so had to then go to their site to read my own review. Sure enough, it WAS me! In all honesty there are only two reviews and mine was chosen but it was gratifying to see mine chosen over the Australian Brisbane entry. Also it’s the first time I have seen my comments in the DT - plenty of other papers but not that one. I am sure my friend, reviewer extraordinaire and published author Geoff Woodland (shameless plug for his book Triangle Trade, available on Taobao, Amazon and all good bookshops worldwide and well worth buying) with four times as many reviews as me has been oft quoted but there’s a certain je ne sais quois about chancing upon your own comments in a national broadsheet. For anyone remotely interested it is here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/11249894/Five-of-Chinas-most-bizarre-buildings.html
After pondering last night on the e-bike situation I am three quarters of the way towards chopping in the old one for a new model. My current one seems sluggish now and winter notwithstanding, a bike that I can’t trust to take me to town and back is of no use to me. Certainly many people here have them just to potter about on campus but my bikes do a lot of mileage. If I can take the bike without getting frostbite tomorrow then I will do so. It will eat up half my savings but I may well go and do the deed.
The good or bad news today depending on how you look at it, is that it seems we foreign teachers won’t be required to perform at the Christmas concert this year. This news was greeted with relief by Kevin, who is not particularly at ease being centre stage unless he is reciting poetry. It’s not a precedent as we were surplus to requirements two years ago when they had a surfeit of student acts (and the last thing we want to do is deprive students of their chance to shine) but this time I am told the students organising it never included us in their plans. I reckon they are Kevin’s mob and he dropped unsubtle hints but it will be nice just to turn up and watch the show instead of spending half of it backstage or on it. In fact as this year the show isn’t that close to Christmas (I think that means it will be after new year) there is doubt whether I will be Santa and I will find out for sure this afternoon. I already have two appearances booked so at least the new costume will not have been bought in vain.
1945
Well the show is 16th December but apparently there will be no Santa this year. It was suggested I could lend the outfit to any student groups who did stage their own Christmas show but you can guess my answer to that! I am going to be the only person who wears that and I shall kepp it or take it with me if or when I leave here. I think I do a passable Ho Ho Ho and I don’t need a cushion or a pillow in front either.
Anna came and helped prepare the lasagne. God knows what it will taste like - it’s cooking now - but she had to leave to practise her dancing for some competition. I have told her to come back when she is finished so she can taste the fruit of her labours. I could get used to having someone do all the chopping for me. Although I have a cheap blender I do miss my all-singing food processor I left behind in the UK. Lazy I know, but grating cheese, slicing carrots, cucumbers etc is so much easier when you have one.
2000
Tucking into dinner. Tastes lovely!
Monday, 24 November 2014
Monday 24th November. 2014 1600
We passed the government inspection. I also discovered it was nothing to do with elevating the status of the university, apparently the road to being granted the right to confer masters degrees is a long one and will take some years yet. This one was a routine re-certification of what they already are, which begs the question - why was there such a flap when they should know what is required and be doing it all the time anyway?
In the two student cafeterias, if they are eating they can have as much soup as they like for free. It’s free because it is virtually water anyway. However I found out on Friday that for the three days of the inspection the soup suddenly contained bits of meat, vegetables, tomatoes, eggs etc but the moment the inspectors left it went back to being mucky water again!
Friday night saw the foreign language society’s “English Corner”. You may recall the first one was a dire affair at which nothing actually happened. Well this was quite simply, the Jack show. It was buttock-numbingly boring and so cringe worthy there were times I was glad no rotten tomatoes were close at hand.
The topic was public speaking and Carol (who is head of the society and who after the first dismal failure I offered advice on how to improve it) invited Jack to speak along with Vivi. Now, Jack came first in the school heat for the national cup although he got nowhere in the provincial run-off and Vivi came second. In my opinion Vivi was far better than him but as always seems to be the case here, the male of the species was preferred. They both went to Bengbu for the provincial and in fairness Vivi never shone either.
Jack however, loves the sound of his own voice. “Hey - look at me!” is how I would describe it. And boy, didn’t he drone on and on and even subjected us to watching his performance in Bengbu on video. Now the roundhouse was full at the start but after fifteen minutes of piffle around half of the students had left. After all, why should they be bored witless in their free time when they can do the same sitting on their dormitory bunk?
To make matters worse, when, after half an hour of telling everyone how terrific he was and I breathed a sigh of relief because he was done, he and Vivi were invited to answer questions! And some students (must have been plants!) actually prolonged the agony by asking some!! Poor Vivi never got chance to even attempt to answer any questions because Mr Lookatme never let her get a word in.
And then after he had prattled on for a total of about 40 minutes I was asked to speak on the topic. What??? No way was I going to complete the communal frontal lobotomy by waxing lyrical! I think I spoke for about one minute although as Jack had by that time already beaten a hasty retreat I suspect my pithy comments about holding your audience and keeping it interesting were somewhat lost.
At the close, all the society officials were summoned to a snap crisis meeting. I have told Carol I am happy to advise her on how to run the next affair and it is up to her whether she takes my offer up but all I can hope is that the students have not been put off for life. I know I would be and if the third event is as bad then I too will be reluctant to show my face.
Saturday was a better day.
The society held a speaking competition at which Kevin and I along with Tina (my ex-assistant) were judges. With 26 speakers speaking for an expected three minutes apiece it was set to last a couple of hours or even more but thankfully all were relatively brief and some were remarkably good for freshmen, particularly impressive were the non-English majors. It finished early enough for me to go home and take Pepsi out before I set off downtown.
This was for the meal for the small school’s singing contest judges. As I had already arranged to take Joan for dinner, having been told the meal was on Sunday and then having it switched, the owner told me I could take her as well and so I did. It looks as if there will be five or six judges - two teachers from the school itself plus maybe the owner, two music teachers from a middle school in town and myself. This Saturday afternoon I will judge one of the heats (I refused to do both morning and afternoon sessions due to Pepsi being cooped up all day) and then the final will be held in an hotel on the Sunday before Christmas where they will also have a party and I assume a meal for the hard working judges afterwards. Oh, and I also have to be Santa.
Yesterday I again took Joan for a meal but as she had prep in the evening we went for lunch to Love In The Town. With my 40y discount coupons burning a hole in my pocket and a hankering for the sweet and sour I simply had to go. Except you can’t use the coupons at weekends! I now have seven coupons…….
We ordered food, the big prawns, sweet and sour, rice cakes and yam balls but when the sweet and sour came I had apparently ordered (from the tablet computer thingy) deep fried gristle. It was appalling although Joan actually ate it. As I had only really gone there for the sweet and sour I wasn’t to be thwarted and after much discussion with the waitress we finally decided which picture it was (the first time I ordered it by accident so had no idea what it looked like on the computer) and I got it. Not as good as last time but still very nice and now I know exactly which one to tap on future visits. The weather was also kind enough to allow us to travel on my bike.
Although, I have noticed on my past two return trips to town I have got back with very little juice left so the batteries are feeling tired. On asking around how much to replace five 12v batteries I was told 600-700y. That sort of money made me sit back and think. If I am going to spend that much plus more later on new brakes and tyres for about 300y I may as well bite the bullet and buy a new bike because I will only hand over 2,500 and it won’t look “tired”. Plus I have never washed the current one in the 15 months I have had it. Decisions, decisions but the Christmas jolly has to be taken into consideration.
Today is utterly miserable and has been raining for most of it with the forecast saying it is here until the weekend.
I wanted to show today’s class a short video to end the lesson but couldn’t get the damned computer to do it (it’s all in Chinese of course) so ended up with them watching twenty minutes of one of Ollivier’s French films. The students could read the subtitles (Chinese) but of course I never understood a word other than “merde”.
Two days off now.
We passed the government inspection. I also discovered it was nothing to do with elevating the status of the university, apparently the road to being granted the right to confer masters degrees is a long one and will take some years yet. This one was a routine re-certification of what they already are, which begs the question - why was there such a flap when they should know what is required and be doing it all the time anyway?
In the two student cafeterias, if they are eating they can have as much soup as they like for free. It’s free because it is virtually water anyway. However I found out on Friday that for the three days of the inspection the soup suddenly contained bits of meat, vegetables, tomatoes, eggs etc but the moment the inspectors left it went back to being mucky water again!
Friday night saw the foreign language society’s “English Corner”. You may recall the first one was a dire affair at which nothing actually happened. Well this was quite simply, the Jack show. It was buttock-numbingly boring and so cringe worthy there were times I was glad no rotten tomatoes were close at hand.
The topic was public speaking and Carol (who is head of the society and who after the first dismal failure I offered advice on how to improve it) invited Jack to speak along with Vivi. Now, Jack came first in the school heat for the national cup although he got nowhere in the provincial run-off and Vivi came second. In my opinion Vivi was far better than him but as always seems to be the case here, the male of the species was preferred. They both went to Bengbu for the provincial and in fairness Vivi never shone either.
Jack however, loves the sound of his own voice. “Hey - look at me!” is how I would describe it. And boy, didn’t he drone on and on and even subjected us to watching his performance in Bengbu on video. Now the roundhouse was full at the start but after fifteen minutes of piffle around half of the students had left. After all, why should they be bored witless in their free time when they can do the same sitting on their dormitory bunk?
To make matters worse, when, after half an hour of telling everyone how terrific he was and I breathed a sigh of relief because he was done, he and Vivi were invited to answer questions! And some students (must have been plants!) actually prolonged the agony by asking some!! Poor Vivi never got chance to even attempt to answer any questions because Mr Lookatme never let her get a word in.
And then after he had prattled on for a total of about 40 minutes I was asked to speak on the topic. What??? No way was I going to complete the communal frontal lobotomy by waxing lyrical! I think I spoke for about one minute although as Jack had by that time already beaten a hasty retreat I suspect my pithy comments about holding your audience and keeping it interesting were somewhat lost.
At the close, all the society officials were summoned to a snap crisis meeting. I have told Carol I am happy to advise her on how to run the next affair and it is up to her whether she takes my offer up but all I can hope is that the students have not been put off for life. I know I would be and if the third event is as bad then I too will be reluctant to show my face.
Saturday was a better day.
The society held a speaking competition at which Kevin and I along with Tina (my ex-assistant) were judges. With 26 speakers speaking for an expected three minutes apiece it was set to last a couple of hours or even more but thankfully all were relatively brief and some were remarkably good for freshmen, particularly impressive were the non-English majors. It finished early enough for me to go home and take Pepsi out before I set off downtown.
This was for the meal for the small school’s singing contest judges. As I had already arranged to take Joan for dinner, having been told the meal was on Sunday and then having it switched, the owner told me I could take her as well and so I did. It looks as if there will be five or six judges - two teachers from the school itself plus maybe the owner, two music teachers from a middle school in town and myself. This Saturday afternoon I will judge one of the heats (I refused to do both morning and afternoon sessions due to Pepsi being cooped up all day) and then the final will be held in an hotel on the Sunday before Christmas where they will also have a party and I assume a meal for the hard working judges afterwards. Oh, and I also have to be Santa.
Yesterday I again took Joan for a meal but as she had prep in the evening we went for lunch to Love In The Town. With my 40y discount coupons burning a hole in my pocket and a hankering for the sweet and sour I simply had to go. Except you can’t use the coupons at weekends! I now have seven coupons…….
We ordered food, the big prawns, sweet and sour, rice cakes and yam balls but when the sweet and sour came I had apparently ordered (from the tablet computer thingy) deep fried gristle. It was appalling although Joan actually ate it. As I had only really gone there for the sweet and sour I wasn’t to be thwarted and after much discussion with the waitress we finally decided which picture it was (the first time I ordered it by accident so had no idea what it looked like on the computer) and I got it. Not as good as last time but still very nice and now I know exactly which one to tap on future visits. The weather was also kind enough to allow us to travel on my bike.
Although, I have noticed on my past two return trips to town I have got back with very little juice left so the batteries are feeling tired. On asking around how much to replace five 12v batteries I was told 600-700y. That sort of money made me sit back and think. If I am going to spend that much plus more later on new brakes and tyres for about 300y I may as well bite the bullet and buy a new bike because I will only hand over 2,500 and it won’t look “tired”. Plus I have never washed the current one in the 15 months I have had it. Decisions, decisions but the Christmas jolly has to be taken into consideration.
Today is utterly miserable and has been raining for most of it with the forecast saying it is here until the weekend.
I wanted to show today’s class a short video to end the lesson but couldn’t get the damned computer to do it (it’s all in Chinese of course) so ended up with them watching twenty minutes of one of Ollivier’s French films. The students could read the subtitles (Chinese) but of course I never understood a word other than “merde”.
Two days off now.
Thursday, 20 November 2014
Thursday 20th November, 2014 1045
I thought I may as well make a start on this while between classes and waiting for a frozen pasty to cook in the oven.
I had thought that making a tuna pasta bake for last night’s meal would be a simple affair but I was wrong. I think it took more effort even than making pizzas. I could have cheated and used some packet cheese sauce but I adhered to the recipe. For the first time in my life I made a roux and added milk without the sauce becoming lumpy, impatience being my habitual enemy there. The substitution of green peppers due to the absence of celery wasn’t a bad decision and in fact because they were hot peppers (you can never tell here if they are going to be hot or sweet, they all look the same) gave it a bit of a bite. Unbelievably it required 30y worth of butter alone. I think on cost it would have rivalled the originally planned beef and dumpling stew.
For once I ate a decent portion, all the students (Kevin invited Lin, a 16 year old he is helping privately, Ollivier punished Evanie - his students end up there all afternoon helping him to cook - and my missing wife from the Sichuan meal, Nancy, was my guest) finished their plates with two of them taking seconds. Kevin took what little remained home to heat for today’s lunch and Ollivier the Porker had THIRDS! I have to say his apple sponge cake was his best effort yet. I have no idea what he did but it was his fluffiest yet - and I’m not a big cake eater. His “biscuits” were imbued with almonds and which I jokingly told the students were used as foundations when they were building the school. You need teeth like a crushing machine to actually eat them but the students always seem happy to take them to their friends afterwards. Kevin had suggested I don’t make a soup this time and in fairness I had used half a kilo of pasta so there was plenty on the table but we did need to break out our limited communal cheeseboard which had Ollivier’s smelly feet cheese and Kevin’s edam. Hopefully all the students enjoyed their evening and at the end the last two standing were Ollivier and me. I only stayed to polish off what I think was our fifth bottle and then left to take Pepsi out. Ollivier did offer to open another bottle but with an early rise this morning I felt it would be unwise. As it is I had a problem getting up!
Before the meal I took half a dozen slices of my latest ham for everyone to try. It was all that was left because on Tuesday night I boiled it. I then started watching a film on my laptop and promptly forgot all about it. Eventually the cats making a din jerked me back to reality and on opening the kitchen door I found it filled with dense smoke. The pan wasn’t quite ruined and in fact is now in use for the pets, albeit severely blackened. The pork/ham was incinerated and by the time I had cut off the cinders all that was left was the little I took for tasting. Damned annoying because it was seriously good ham, the best so far. And of course I can’t make any more now until I buy a new pan.
The Big Inspection is now almost over, apparently the hit squad are leaving at lunchtime. According to Kevin they are discussing their decision in order to render it prior to their departure, said fact prompting me to comment that depending on what the decision is will decide how lavish the free lunch the school will bestow upon them. It will be interesting to see if everything goes back to normal once they have gone. Will the guards keep their shiny new uniforms or will they be put in storage? Will the south gate once again be permanently locked, seeing as it usually is unless bigwigs or a coach party are arriving? Answers on a postcard please.
I thought I may as well make a start on this while between classes and waiting for a frozen pasty to cook in the oven.
I had thought that making a tuna pasta bake for last night’s meal would be a simple affair but I was wrong. I think it took more effort even than making pizzas. I could have cheated and used some packet cheese sauce but I adhered to the recipe. For the first time in my life I made a roux and added milk without the sauce becoming lumpy, impatience being my habitual enemy there. The substitution of green peppers due to the absence of celery wasn’t a bad decision and in fact because they were hot peppers (you can never tell here if they are going to be hot or sweet, they all look the same) gave it a bit of a bite. Unbelievably it required 30y worth of butter alone. I think on cost it would have rivalled the originally planned beef and dumpling stew.
For once I ate a decent portion, all the students (Kevin invited Lin, a 16 year old he is helping privately, Ollivier punished Evanie - his students end up there all afternoon helping him to cook - and my missing wife from the Sichuan meal, Nancy, was my guest) finished their plates with two of them taking seconds. Kevin took what little remained home to heat for today’s lunch and Ollivier the Porker had THIRDS! I have to say his apple sponge cake was his best effort yet. I have no idea what he did but it was his fluffiest yet - and I’m not a big cake eater. His “biscuits” were imbued with almonds and which I jokingly told the students were used as foundations when they were building the school. You need teeth like a crushing machine to actually eat them but the students always seem happy to take them to their friends afterwards. Kevin had suggested I don’t make a soup this time and in fairness I had used half a kilo of pasta so there was plenty on the table but we did need to break out our limited communal cheeseboard which had Ollivier’s smelly feet cheese and Kevin’s edam. Hopefully all the students enjoyed their evening and at the end the last two standing were Ollivier and me. I only stayed to polish off what I think was our fifth bottle and then left to take Pepsi out. Ollivier did offer to open another bottle but with an early rise this morning I felt it would be unwise. As it is I had a problem getting up!
Before the meal I took half a dozen slices of my latest ham for everyone to try. It was all that was left because on Tuesday night I boiled it. I then started watching a film on my laptop and promptly forgot all about it. Eventually the cats making a din jerked me back to reality and on opening the kitchen door I found it filled with dense smoke. The pan wasn’t quite ruined and in fact is now in use for the pets, albeit severely blackened. The pork/ham was incinerated and by the time I had cut off the cinders all that was left was the little I took for tasting. Damned annoying because it was seriously good ham, the best so far. And of course I can’t make any more now until I buy a new pan.
The Big Inspection is now almost over, apparently the hit squad are leaving at lunchtime. According to Kevin they are discussing their decision in order to render it prior to their departure, said fact prompting me to comment that depending on what the decision is will decide how lavish the free lunch the school will bestow upon them. It will be interesting to see if everything goes back to normal once they have gone. Will the guards keep their shiny new uniforms or will they be put in storage? Will the south gate once again be permanently locked, seeing as it usually is unless bigwigs or a coach party are arriving? Answers on a postcard please.
Tuesday, 18 November 2014
Tuesday 18th November, 2014 1245
I hate computers.
Yesterday the big inspection started. Having risen earlier than I would normally in order to ensure I was presentable, I switched on the laptop and was told by Microsoft I had no operating system and no hard disk. A great start to the day when my lesson topic was bad moods. There was nothing anyone could do about it at that time so I sent Kevin a text and we arranged for him to take a look after class.
Having been requested to dress formally for classes while the inspection took place, both he and I wore suits (you couldn’t tell the difference in colour between the jacket and trousers I opted for) and then proceeded to the teaching block. On the way down I spotted outside the library a huge fleet of black government cars. The inspectors are lodging not far away in the plush Peninsula hotel - they certainly have a good job! I couldn’t help but notice that the vast majority of the Chinese teachers were wearing the same casual attire as they normally do. There WE were done up like dog’s dinners.
Although I had been told by Cinny that my class hadn’t been selected for inspection, this being China I wasn’t going to believe it until the final bell rang. But they never so much as poked their snouts in. That may of course have been because I ensured the doors were locked once class had started…….
After class Kevin came to inspect the patient and declared it to be in a critical condition. In short, the hard drive has packed up. All should have been reasonably well had I backed the laptop up to my external hard drive sooner than 18 months ago but I hadn’t because I couldn’t remember how to do it and never got around to asking Kevin. In theory I have lost all my blogs and pictures from that period but of course they are all stored online in various locations. Quite how I get them back is beyond me but I am sure I will find out in due course. I have lost videos, which is annoying but thank heavens I had the one of my daily life on a memory stick. The drive from the external memory is now in my laptop (it was the old one from it in the first place, as Kevin installed a bigger one for me) and after spending four hours tearing my hair out trying to reinstal the thing that allows me to download i-player and downloading the player itself, I am now back in business to an extent. Infuriatingly, the school network keeps booting me off periodically and despite a “recovery” I still can’t get onto Skype yet but the whole thing could have been much worse.
It is now time to go and buy the ingredients for tomorrow. I will attempt a tuna pasta bake, Ollivier no doubt will make far too much sweet stuff but the students do seem keen to take the leftovers for their roommates.
1900
Ingredients were bought and a double filet’o’fish was consumed, thus rendering my buying a fresh baguette pointless as I am now not hungry. Meeting with the other two Laowei in my new office, I was relieved to learn that I wasn’t the only one getting booted off the college network. It doesn’t make it any the less annoying but at least I know it has nothing to do with my equipment.
The weather here is turning positively “binda” (frozen), with highs in the low teens and lows just a few degrees above freezing when I have to take Pepsi out. I really don’t like the cold any more. In my first year I would have ridden the bike to town but now I have become a wimp and take the bus even though it involves that execrable act of actually walking. Roll on the warmer weather!
I did notice on the bus both in and out of town that the Chinese find old habits hard to break. It’s at least two years since the new airconditioned buses were put on the 29 route yet they still shout “shah!” to get the driver to stop. I sat and observed four people standing by the exit doors with their hands on the pole immediately below the button you press to tell the driver you want to get off who still shouted out, completely ignoring the button. One of our students though did in fact press it, so there is hope yet. Mind you, it would probably help if they had an LED sign at the front of the bus which indicated in Chinese one you pressed that it was stopping.
I hate computers.
Yesterday the big inspection started. Having risen earlier than I would normally in order to ensure I was presentable, I switched on the laptop and was told by Microsoft I had no operating system and no hard disk. A great start to the day when my lesson topic was bad moods. There was nothing anyone could do about it at that time so I sent Kevin a text and we arranged for him to take a look after class.
Having been requested to dress formally for classes while the inspection took place, both he and I wore suits (you couldn’t tell the difference in colour between the jacket and trousers I opted for) and then proceeded to the teaching block. On the way down I spotted outside the library a huge fleet of black government cars. The inspectors are lodging not far away in the plush Peninsula hotel - they certainly have a good job! I couldn’t help but notice that the vast majority of the Chinese teachers were wearing the same casual attire as they normally do. There WE were done up like dog’s dinners.
Although I had been told by Cinny that my class hadn’t been selected for inspection, this being China I wasn’t going to believe it until the final bell rang. But they never so much as poked their snouts in. That may of course have been because I ensured the doors were locked once class had started…….
After class Kevin came to inspect the patient and declared it to be in a critical condition. In short, the hard drive has packed up. All should have been reasonably well had I backed the laptop up to my external hard drive sooner than 18 months ago but I hadn’t because I couldn’t remember how to do it and never got around to asking Kevin. In theory I have lost all my blogs and pictures from that period but of course they are all stored online in various locations. Quite how I get them back is beyond me but I am sure I will find out in due course. I have lost videos, which is annoying but thank heavens I had the one of my daily life on a memory stick. The drive from the external memory is now in my laptop (it was the old one from it in the first place, as Kevin installed a bigger one for me) and after spending four hours tearing my hair out trying to reinstal the thing that allows me to download i-player and downloading the player itself, I am now back in business to an extent. Infuriatingly, the school network keeps booting me off periodically and despite a “recovery” I still can’t get onto Skype yet but the whole thing could have been much worse.
It is now time to go and buy the ingredients for tomorrow. I will attempt a tuna pasta bake, Ollivier no doubt will make far too much sweet stuff but the students do seem keen to take the leftovers for their roommates.
1900
Ingredients were bought and a double filet’o’fish was consumed, thus rendering my buying a fresh baguette pointless as I am now not hungry. Meeting with the other two Laowei in my new office, I was relieved to learn that I wasn’t the only one getting booted off the college network. It doesn’t make it any the less annoying but at least I know it has nothing to do with my equipment.
The weather here is turning positively “binda” (frozen), with highs in the low teens and lows just a few degrees above freezing when I have to take Pepsi out. I really don’t like the cold any more. In my first year I would have ridden the bike to town but now I have become a wimp and take the bus even though it involves that execrable act of actually walking. Roll on the warmer weather!
I did notice on the bus both in and out of town that the Chinese find old habits hard to break. It’s at least two years since the new airconditioned buses were put on the 29 route yet they still shout “shah!” to get the driver to stop. I sat and observed four people standing by the exit doors with their hands on the pole immediately below the button you press to tell the driver you want to get off who still shouted out, completely ignoring the button. One of our students though did in fact press it, so there is hope yet. Mind you, it would probably help if they had an LED sign at the front of the bus which indicated in Chinese one you pressed that it was stopping.
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Sunday 16th November, 2014 1530
Well it’s all go here. The huge government inspection is tomorrow through until Wednesday so suddenly the administration has gone into the mode it should be in all the time but isn’t. However, that isn’t to say that it is being applied to every aspect of university life, just the bits that matter for the inspection!
I have been told not to ride my e-bike too fast (as if!) and to ensure when at class it is parked in a marked bay. I normally hide it in the basement and I can’t see the inspectors going there but what the hell. All teachers are expected to dress formally, preferably in a suit. That presented me with a bit of a problem as I only have one suit and the trousers are too small around the waist. I have settled on the following ensemble tomorrow: the black trousers from my dinner dress with the dark navy suit jacket, blue shirt, rugby world cup tie and my MN medal. The latter is simply because they won’t know what it is and will assume I am some sort of war hero and also because I don’t want to leave holes in the jacket.
We will apparently be pre-warned if our class will be observed and will be informed by 2200 the night before. As I only have a class tomorrow morning and then nothing until Thursday, in theory at ten o’clock tonight if nothing has been said I am home free.
Last night I took four of my wives plus Anna to the Sichuan restaurant. I also had another student, Nancy, who was the second mistake I have made because I have three Nancys! As it happened the one I wanted to come was unable anyway as she was going to be busy with the student union. Having booked the best table in the house for the Mongolian show, and armed with camera this time, I was looking forward to giving the girls a night to remember. I wasn’t looking forward to the food though, because on Friday I never ate a thing all day and so yesterday morning in town I ate two McBreakfasts and I was still full to the gunwales by evening.
As the appointed time came and passed for the show to start I became a little concerned and paid a visit to the loo in the hope of seeing the performers outside their changing room. As time wore on it became apparent there would be no show. Disappointed would be too mild a word to use for how I felt and when I got the girls to ask why there was no show, we were told they were no good so they had been dispensed with. I liked the show! The girls seemed to enjoy the food although a couple commented that it was expensive. At 288y for seven people I don’t consider that outrageous, especially as I was given 40y in discount vouchers for the next time. I can’t go there unaccompanied now though because since last week they have changed the menu. The last one was a book in Chinese and English with photos. The new one is a plastic card with just Chinese and no photos. It would have been nice if they had kept one copy of the old one for the foreigners so at least we could try to order but then, this is China.
When we left it was raining and only one of our number had taken a brolly. I had no intention of taking a bus back anyway and every intention of paying for two taxis but of course when it rains all the taxis are occupied. We did however get two within seconds of each other eventually and returned in a small convoy. I knew I could get one cab through security but two had never been tried before. In order to ensure success I had raided the complimentary mandarins in the restaurant to give the guard but needn’t have bothered in the end. He tried to refuse them but I insisted seeing as he was happy to let both through. At least the girls and I got dropped off outside our homes.
I was going to go downtown today shopping as all I have in the freezer for the furry ones is a chicken and I wanted to get the stuff for Wednesday evening. In the morning I had shopped but got my cigars and just a couple of bits, not wanting to laden myself too much on the bus. However, Kevin is out of ink for his printer and I was told I had to take printouts of some paperwork with me to class. Neither Ollivier nor I have a printer so it meant putting the stuff on a memory stick and getting them done at the library. I had thought I would also have to iron a shirt but my luck was in, the one I wanted was already done from last year! We are all being expected to jump through hoops for this inspection but I am stepping carefully through them instead. My days of “jump” and asking “how high?” are long gone. It will be just my luck to be inspected in the only class I have during the three day headless chicken event though. I can shop tomorrow afternoon or Tuesday anyway and the beasts can have two packets of Chinese “chorizo“ sausages, it will save me cooking.
I have also taken delivery of thirteen assorted Aussie pies and some sea salt (for curing ham) which cost me just over 500y but should last me a couple of months. In the picture I took last night in which all the girls appear they are from left to right Caroline, Dumpling, Nancy, Joan, Anna and Rita.
Well it’s all go here. The huge government inspection is tomorrow through until Wednesday so suddenly the administration has gone into the mode it should be in all the time but isn’t. However, that isn’t to say that it is being applied to every aspect of university life, just the bits that matter for the inspection!
I have been told not to ride my e-bike too fast (as if!) and to ensure when at class it is parked in a marked bay. I normally hide it in the basement and I can’t see the inspectors going there but what the hell. All teachers are expected to dress formally, preferably in a suit. That presented me with a bit of a problem as I only have one suit and the trousers are too small around the waist. I have settled on the following ensemble tomorrow: the black trousers from my dinner dress with the dark navy suit jacket, blue shirt, rugby world cup tie and my MN medal. The latter is simply because they won’t know what it is and will assume I am some sort of war hero and also because I don’t want to leave holes in the jacket.
We will apparently be pre-warned if our class will be observed and will be informed by 2200 the night before. As I only have a class tomorrow morning and then nothing until Thursday, in theory at ten o’clock tonight if nothing has been said I am home free.
Last night I took four of my wives plus Anna to the Sichuan restaurant. I also had another student, Nancy, who was the second mistake I have made because I have three Nancys! As it happened the one I wanted to come was unable anyway as she was going to be busy with the student union. Having booked the best table in the house for the Mongolian show, and armed with camera this time, I was looking forward to giving the girls a night to remember. I wasn’t looking forward to the food though, because on Friday I never ate a thing all day and so yesterday morning in town I ate two McBreakfasts and I was still full to the gunwales by evening.
As the appointed time came and passed for the show to start I became a little concerned and paid a visit to the loo in the hope of seeing the performers outside their changing room. As time wore on it became apparent there would be no show. Disappointed would be too mild a word to use for how I felt and when I got the girls to ask why there was no show, we were told they were no good so they had been dispensed with. I liked the show! The girls seemed to enjoy the food although a couple commented that it was expensive. At 288y for seven people I don’t consider that outrageous, especially as I was given 40y in discount vouchers for the next time. I can’t go there unaccompanied now though because since last week they have changed the menu. The last one was a book in Chinese and English with photos. The new one is a plastic card with just Chinese and no photos. It would have been nice if they had kept one copy of the old one for the foreigners so at least we could try to order but then, this is China.
When we left it was raining and only one of our number had taken a brolly. I had no intention of taking a bus back anyway and every intention of paying for two taxis but of course when it rains all the taxis are occupied. We did however get two within seconds of each other eventually and returned in a small convoy. I knew I could get one cab through security but two had never been tried before. In order to ensure success I had raided the complimentary mandarins in the restaurant to give the guard but needn’t have bothered in the end. He tried to refuse them but I insisted seeing as he was happy to let both through. At least the girls and I got dropped off outside our homes.
I was going to go downtown today shopping as all I have in the freezer for the furry ones is a chicken and I wanted to get the stuff for Wednesday evening. In the morning I had shopped but got my cigars and just a couple of bits, not wanting to laden myself too much on the bus. However, Kevin is out of ink for his printer and I was told I had to take printouts of some paperwork with me to class. Neither Ollivier nor I have a printer so it meant putting the stuff on a memory stick and getting them done at the library. I had thought I would also have to iron a shirt but my luck was in, the one I wanted was already done from last year! We are all being expected to jump through hoops for this inspection but I am stepping carefully through them instead. My days of “jump” and asking “how high?” are long gone. It will be just my luck to be inspected in the only class I have during the three day headless chicken event though. I can shop tomorrow afternoon or Tuesday anyway and the beasts can have two packets of Chinese “chorizo“ sausages, it will save me cooking.
I have also taken delivery of thirteen assorted Aussie pies and some sea salt (for curing ham) which cost me just over 500y but should last me a couple of months. In the picture I took last night in which all the girls appear they are from left to right Caroline, Dumpling, Nancy, Joan, Anna and Rita.
Thursday, 13 November 2014
Thursday 13th November, 2014 1130
I did indeed go for breakfast yesterday, it is becoming a regular thing. I think they should serve breakfast all day then I wouldn’t need to get up early. Mind you, the bonus in this weather (as I now tend to use the bus because it’s warmer) is that in the mornings there aren’t so many people on the bus.
After I got back I sent Anna a message asking if she was free for dinner. She never replied so by four o’clock I had resigned myself to staying home and having a cheese and pickle baguette instead. Then she responded, her phone had ran out of battery earlier and yes, she was free. Change of plan. Ok I said, invite your friend (meaning Carol). I thought there would be three of us but Anna ended up inviting Carol AND her friend Holly! I had to chuckle at this latest language mix up, not that it mattered because the bill would have been the same as for three anyway. I finally got to go to Love In Town restaurant with a view to using the discount voucher Ollivier gave me.
I arrived at the south gate with Ollivier on the back seat of the bike. I had arranged for him to take my bike home so that when we got a taxi back I could get it through the gate and deliver the girls to their dorm. Unluckily as soon as I left campus the bus departed. Luckily, a taxi pulled up to drop someone off so I hailed that and en route we overtook two 29 buses!
The place has a different layout to the one I went to in Anqing and rather disappointingly we were given a sheet of paper printed in Chinese to order from. I got the girls to ask where the little computer thing with the menu and pictures was. One was produced and I was able to see what I was ordering even if I couldn’t read it. The food was fabulous. The girls ordered a big bowl of crab with soft shells which was divine but sadly for me I couldn’t eat much of it because it took five minutes each time for my mouth to recover from the heavy spices. The Thai king prawns were also delicious and in fact there was nothing I didn’t like. However the star of the show was most definitely the sweet and sour pork. Proper sweet and sour too. Anna and I wolfed down the bulk of that one! I will certainly be going back again.
Kevin arranged to give us a lift on his way back from town but whilst Anna was fully aware he was waiting downstairs, she didn’t bother to tell me so I was taken aback when he appeared in the restaurant! Embarrassed at having kept him waiting, when I went to pay the bill by card I completely forgot the discount voucher! Once the transaction was processed it would have caused great problems to reverse it and deduct 40y so I asked them to give me another voucher with a longer shelf life. I now have five coupons for 40y discount and intend to try my best to use them all. If Yvonne agrees I would love to go there again tonight for the sweet and sour!
1800
Well it’s steak and kidney pie and hopefully some of Ollivier’s dauphinoise potatoes. Yvonne was busy and the other wives I invited all have evening classes. I don’t know if I am imagining it but it seems as if my freshmen this time have an inordinate number of evening classes. It may of course simply be that previous intakes were not invited out by me very much as I always took Kiki or Joanna. It is probably better I have the pie anyway, at least that way I will be able to get an early night. I have the least classes I have ever had but am the tiredest!
For some inexplicable reason, Mum has moved out of block two and taken her pups to “live” underneath an airconditioning shelf on the outside of block eight, which is behind mine. Something must have happened to make her think her babies are threatened there, indeed one disappeared at a very early age when she had her first lot so maybe it is related to that. She likes the Pedigree biscuits though so that will be my good deed each night until she is up and about and foraging herself. Last night when Pepsi approached for a sniff of the puppies Mum became very protective and Pepsi shot away in fear but she was quite happy for me to pick three of the little ones up. I would like to let them stay in my spare room but I don’t think Mum would take to it. I just hope her litter survive the cold nights, because it is getting very chilly now.
This afternoon whilst having a pijou in my new office I saw a novel way of defrosting a freezer. The owner’s wife, faced with three inch thick ice in sufficient quantity to have threatened the Titanic, decided to do it the quick way by hacking at it with a meat cleaver and a claw hammer! I assume it still works.
At long last the laowei food website company has stock of pies. At lunchtime I ordered a load of them. They come in very handy when I am pushed for time or can’t be bothered to actually cook. I will be sure to stock up on them for the spring festival - just the ticket for cold winter nights and the signs are that this winter will be a cold one indeed.
I did indeed go for breakfast yesterday, it is becoming a regular thing. I think they should serve breakfast all day then I wouldn’t need to get up early. Mind you, the bonus in this weather (as I now tend to use the bus because it’s warmer) is that in the mornings there aren’t so many people on the bus.
After I got back I sent Anna a message asking if she was free for dinner. She never replied so by four o’clock I had resigned myself to staying home and having a cheese and pickle baguette instead. Then she responded, her phone had ran out of battery earlier and yes, she was free. Change of plan. Ok I said, invite your friend (meaning Carol). I thought there would be three of us but Anna ended up inviting Carol AND her friend Holly! I had to chuckle at this latest language mix up, not that it mattered because the bill would have been the same as for three anyway. I finally got to go to Love In Town restaurant with a view to using the discount voucher Ollivier gave me.
I arrived at the south gate with Ollivier on the back seat of the bike. I had arranged for him to take my bike home so that when we got a taxi back I could get it through the gate and deliver the girls to their dorm. Unluckily as soon as I left campus the bus departed. Luckily, a taxi pulled up to drop someone off so I hailed that and en route we overtook two 29 buses!
The place has a different layout to the one I went to in Anqing and rather disappointingly we were given a sheet of paper printed in Chinese to order from. I got the girls to ask where the little computer thing with the menu and pictures was. One was produced and I was able to see what I was ordering even if I couldn’t read it. The food was fabulous. The girls ordered a big bowl of crab with soft shells which was divine but sadly for me I couldn’t eat much of it because it took five minutes each time for my mouth to recover from the heavy spices. The Thai king prawns were also delicious and in fact there was nothing I didn’t like. However the star of the show was most definitely the sweet and sour pork. Proper sweet and sour too. Anna and I wolfed down the bulk of that one! I will certainly be going back again.
Kevin arranged to give us a lift on his way back from town but whilst Anna was fully aware he was waiting downstairs, she didn’t bother to tell me so I was taken aback when he appeared in the restaurant! Embarrassed at having kept him waiting, when I went to pay the bill by card I completely forgot the discount voucher! Once the transaction was processed it would have caused great problems to reverse it and deduct 40y so I asked them to give me another voucher with a longer shelf life. I now have five coupons for 40y discount and intend to try my best to use them all. If Yvonne agrees I would love to go there again tonight for the sweet and sour!
1800
Well it’s steak and kidney pie and hopefully some of Ollivier’s dauphinoise potatoes. Yvonne was busy and the other wives I invited all have evening classes. I don’t know if I am imagining it but it seems as if my freshmen this time have an inordinate number of evening classes. It may of course simply be that previous intakes were not invited out by me very much as I always took Kiki or Joanna. It is probably better I have the pie anyway, at least that way I will be able to get an early night. I have the least classes I have ever had but am the tiredest!
For some inexplicable reason, Mum has moved out of block two and taken her pups to “live” underneath an airconditioning shelf on the outside of block eight, which is behind mine. Something must have happened to make her think her babies are threatened there, indeed one disappeared at a very early age when she had her first lot so maybe it is related to that. She likes the Pedigree biscuits though so that will be my good deed each night until she is up and about and foraging herself. Last night when Pepsi approached for a sniff of the puppies Mum became very protective and Pepsi shot away in fear but she was quite happy for me to pick three of the little ones up. I would like to let them stay in my spare room but I don’t think Mum would take to it. I just hope her litter survive the cold nights, because it is getting very chilly now.
This afternoon whilst having a pijou in my new office I saw a novel way of defrosting a freezer. The owner’s wife, faced with three inch thick ice in sufficient quantity to have threatened the Titanic, decided to do it the quick way by hacking at it with a meat cleaver and a claw hammer! I assume it still works.
At long last the laowei food website company has stock of pies. At lunchtime I ordered a load of them. They come in very handy when I am pushed for time or can’t be bothered to actually cook. I will be sure to stock up on them for the spring festival - just the ticket for cold winter nights and the signs are that this winter will be a cold one indeed.
Tuesday, 11 November 2014
Monday 10th November, 2014 1600
I am ambivalent over the hot dogs. The frankfurters were genuine enough and I had the right mustard but annoyingly the rolls were on the small side and not that soft. To be fair, I had two and was stuffed, Anna polished her two off in short order and then proceeded to eat another two before she declared herself full! I’m not sure I will be making them again in the near future although I suppose I will have to at some point seeing as the only thing I like French’s with is a hot dog!
Yet again last night my good intentions of having an early night went by the board. It was nothing to do with Anna because we watched a film, she pestered me for a little while for meanings of phrases and then left to go and do some homework in her dormitory. The problem last night lay in the fact it was quite cold outside and so the walk with Pepsi woke me up, particularly so as I sought out Mum to see whether she had whelped yet. She hadn’t, but I don’t think it will be long before there are little bodies crying under the stairs in block one again. I have a 10kg sack of Pedigree biscuits which Pepsi is not keen on, so will take daily rations down to her. At least this time she isn’t doing it in the spring festival, as she did earlier this year.
I still felt a bit “urgh” this morning but once class had finished I just felt tired which is an improvement. I was going to doze this afternoon but have cancelled that now in favour of boiling my latest ham. It’s bubbling away gently at present and I may well roast it in honey and later tonight try ham, egg and chips. I have been wracking my brains all day trying to think of something new to come up with for next week’s western Wednesday and finally have an idea. It’s an expensive one and I won’t blog about it until after the event because if I can get the stuff in time I want it to be a surprise to the others. It’s also a bit of a cheat!
Tonight definitely has to be an early one. I have no choice but to go shopping tomorrow or the animals will starve. And that means a McBreakfast of course.
Tuesday 11th 1515
Siesta starts in about ten minutes. The ham was nothing short of an unmitigated disaster. Thank God Anna was busy and refused my offer of dinner for instead of ham, egg and chips I ended up with boiled spuds, peas and luncheon meat. I have no idea what cut of pork it was that looked so convincingly like fillet but the consistency was similar to an HR rated Goodyear tyre. It wasn’t, however, wasted. My first thought on finding it unfit for human consumption was that it would do for Pepsi tonight.
That was until I took her out for her late night run last night. I didn’t need to go in search of Mum to find her. She had, as I indicated yesterday was imminent, given birth. I could hear the little mewls outside the building. Moving the parked bicycles inside out of the way (and leaving them moved so as she had ingress and egress without hindrance through the night) I bent down to see how she was. With no lights under the stairs it was impossible to see anything but her and some vague shapes so I judged from the sound there were at least three babies. I knew where the failed ham was destined.
So this morning I rose earlyish and went for my breakfast, shopped and got back before noon - I would have been earlier but lately I seem to have had a spate of bad luck in boarding buses both to and from town that have stopped at the station mid-trip to get washed. Taking Pepsi out, I also took the meat and went to visit the new mother, remembering to take my camera. No wonder I couldn’t ascertain how many pups she had whelped, they are all either black or black and white, notwithstanding that she herself is brown as you can see from the picture. I know exactly who the father is, he was a fixture for a week or so and then disappeared never to be seen again, presumably as he knew she was up the duff. Child maintenance isn’t a Chinese thing for humans, let alone dogs! For now at least, all seems well under the stairs and tonight I will open the 10kg bag of Pedigree biscuits Pepsi spurns and take a meal every night so Mum doesn’t have to forage. She is such a good natured mutt that although I didn’t try, I think she would have let me pick up her babies had I been able to bend low enough.
After that I went to the new office for an ale and of course I had my camera so took a couple of pictures of the new “business street” (actually a small estate) just as the students started flocking for their lunch. My office is on the left of one of the snaps with all the small red stools outside. The development has certainly dented the revenue for the campus shops - for starters I don’t use them any more as the food choices are far superior on the occasions I want to eat Chinese fare. If the campus shopkeepers did cave in and pay the increased rents I reckon they will be regretting doing so by now. Just a pity the business street will close for spring festival, it would have been handy for me.
As for next Wednesday, I may need a plan B. Yvonne tells me that delivery of what I need “should” be in ten or fifteen days. It will do for the next one if that’s the case but now it is back to the drawing board for something simple that appears to be complicated.
As for the siesta? That went the way of so many early nights and won’t be happening. On the plus side if I do conk out early tonight I could always go for another breakfast tomorrow!
I am ambivalent over the hot dogs. The frankfurters were genuine enough and I had the right mustard but annoyingly the rolls were on the small side and not that soft. To be fair, I had two and was stuffed, Anna polished her two off in short order and then proceeded to eat another two before she declared herself full! I’m not sure I will be making them again in the near future although I suppose I will have to at some point seeing as the only thing I like French’s with is a hot dog!
Yet again last night my good intentions of having an early night went by the board. It was nothing to do with Anna because we watched a film, she pestered me for a little while for meanings of phrases and then left to go and do some homework in her dormitory. The problem last night lay in the fact it was quite cold outside and so the walk with Pepsi woke me up, particularly so as I sought out Mum to see whether she had whelped yet. She hadn’t, but I don’t think it will be long before there are little bodies crying under the stairs in block one again. I have a 10kg sack of Pedigree biscuits which Pepsi is not keen on, so will take daily rations down to her. At least this time she isn’t doing it in the spring festival, as she did earlier this year.
I still felt a bit “urgh” this morning but once class had finished I just felt tired which is an improvement. I was going to doze this afternoon but have cancelled that now in favour of boiling my latest ham. It’s bubbling away gently at present and I may well roast it in honey and later tonight try ham, egg and chips. I have been wracking my brains all day trying to think of something new to come up with for next week’s western Wednesday and finally have an idea. It’s an expensive one and I won’t blog about it until after the event because if I can get the stuff in time I want it to be a surprise to the others. It’s also a bit of a cheat!
Tonight definitely has to be an early one. I have no choice but to go shopping tomorrow or the animals will starve. And that means a McBreakfast of course.
Tuesday 11th 1515
Siesta starts in about ten minutes. The ham was nothing short of an unmitigated disaster. Thank God Anna was busy and refused my offer of dinner for instead of ham, egg and chips I ended up with boiled spuds, peas and luncheon meat. I have no idea what cut of pork it was that looked so convincingly like fillet but the consistency was similar to an HR rated Goodyear tyre. It wasn’t, however, wasted. My first thought on finding it unfit for human consumption was that it would do for Pepsi tonight.
That was until I took her out for her late night run last night. I didn’t need to go in search of Mum to find her. She had, as I indicated yesterday was imminent, given birth. I could hear the little mewls outside the building. Moving the parked bicycles inside out of the way (and leaving them moved so as she had ingress and egress without hindrance through the night) I bent down to see how she was. With no lights under the stairs it was impossible to see anything but her and some vague shapes so I judged from the sound there were at least three babies. I knew where the failed ham was destined.
So this morning I rose earlyish and went for my breakfast, shopped and got back before noon - I would have been earlier but lately I seem to have had a spate of bad luck in boarding buses both to and from town that have stopped at the station mid-trip to get washed. Taking Pepsi out, I also took the meat and went to visit the new mother, remembering to take my camera. No wonder I couldn’t ascertain how many pups she had whelped, they are all either black or black and white, notwithstanding that she herself is brown as you can see from the picture. I know exactly who the father is, he was a fixture for a week or so and then disappeared never to be seen again, presumably as he knew she was up the duff. Child maintenance isn’t a Chinese thing for humans, let alone dogs! For now at least, all seems well under the stairs and tonight I will open the 10kg bag of Pedigree biscuits Pepsi spurns and take a meal every night so Mum doesn’t have to forage. She is such a good natured mutt that although I didn’t try, I think she would have let me pick up her babies had I been able to bend low enough.
After that I went to the new office for an ale and of course I had my camera so took a couple of pictures of the new “business street” (actually a small estate) just as the students started flocking for their lunch. My office is on the left of one of the snaps with all the small red stools outside. The development has certainly dented the revenue for the campus shops - for starters I don’t use them any more as the food choices are far superior on the occasions I want to eat Chinese fare. If the campus shopkeepers did cave in and pay the increased rents I reckon they will be regretting doing so by now. Just a pity the business street will close for spring festival, it would have been handy for me.
As for next Wednesday, I may need a plan B. Yvonne tells me that delivery of what I need “should” be in ten or fifteen days. It will do for the next one if that’s the case but now it is back to the drawing board for something simple that appears to be complicated.
As for the siesta? That went the way of so many early nights and won’t be happening. On the plus side if I do conk out early tonight I could always go for another breakfast tomorrow!
Sunday, 9 November 2014
Saturday 8th November, 2014 1230
The only student I knew who I watched during the entire sports meeting was Anna. Joan, one of mine, forgot to tell me when she was running and then on Thursday because the school compressed the events due to impending rain, missed her final race as she was elsewhere. Brewery and drinking event sprang to mind when I was pondering on the administration abilities. Anna was dreadful at the triple jump but not unexpected seeing as she didn’t even know what it entailed the night before! In her final race, the 4 x 400m relay, she once again overtook two other runners but her teammates were tortoises so they finished fifth out of six.
On Thursday night she came to my home and I treated her to a film on my laptop, steak and kidney pie, chips, beans and a can of ginger ale which she was convinced was alcoholic.
Yesterday morning I hauled my carcase out of bed early enough to go and have a McBreakfast and took the bus to town. At the first stop after leaving the school gate there stood a solitary figure, a wizened old man who judging by the furrows etched into his face and the deep mahogany colour of his skin, was well into his sixties and was probably a farm worker. He had some heavy bags, presumably of produce he was on his way to sell, and he boarded. However, when he swiped his Chinese Oyster card equivalent (I don’t have one, it was stolen with my wallet three years ago when I was in hospital) the terminal gave him a “quack, quack, oops”. The fare on the bus is currently one yuan (10p) regardless of the number of stops you travel yet unbelievably the driver stopped the bus and opened the doors so the man would get off as he had no money and no credit on the card.
I was sitting at the very rear of the bus - it has the most legroom - and as I had only ensured I had one coin for my own fare, it occurred to me that if I were to assist the chap I would need to forfeit a ten yuan note or wait until another nine people got on. This I would have done simply to prevent the lunacy that was being played out because plainly the man had no cash and hadn’t realised his card was out of credit and he would have to lug his load all the way home to get some coins. I never had to leave my seat because a girl student got up, popped a coin in the machine and also gave her seat up for him. Well done that lass.
The sports meeting closing ceremony was held very prematurely, in fact Anna sent a message asking if I was in the stadium about a minute after I boarded the bus back to campus. I wasn’t going to be able to see it because I was at least half an hour away but I did arrange to meet with her while she had her lunch. Being with Anna means you are constantly in teacher mode. She never stops asking the meaning of words or how to pronounce them. I am sure she thinks it irritates me but the truth is I wish all of my own students would work as hard as she does on her chosen subject.
When I got back home my bike desperately needed charging but someone had parked their e-bike in the place I use. Short of using a second extension, I need to have that spot otherwise it won’t reach. I don’t mind if someone occupies it and are charging their own bike but this wasn’t. It was shrouded in a rain cover, alarmed, steering locked and a clamp on the rear wheel! I am getting a bit too old for manual labour but I toiled for five minutes sliding and scraping that damned bike out of there. It was so tempting to let his tyres down but it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out it was me and return the favour. I do hope he gets the message soon.
The rain did arrive and I did attempt to grab some sleep. That was, until workmen went into the flat directly beneath me on the ground floor and started laying flooring, hammering away for all they were worth. Kevin could hear it up on the fourth floor. Who on earth is stupid enough to move into a ground floor place is beyond me, for I don’t think the Chinese have heard of a damp course let alone use them when building. They are all incredibly damp down there. So far today no further work has been undertaken but it won’t surprise me if I am rudely awoken at seven tomorrow morning.
In the evening I was going to stay in given the cold and wet but Yvonne, who is currently at home in Anqing, sent me messages to say my online shopping had arrived. Four shirts and a pack of hot dog rolls. Seeing as I was out with the dog I went to the office for a while before coming back to no dinner. I was still bloated from breakfast! I had some Doritos instead…….
The plan today had been to invite Anna and a couple of others to try some proper western hot dogs now I have all the makings but I had forgotten about Ollivier’s arrangement to go with him and a lad with Kevin to the barbecue restaurant in the commercial centre. Hot dogs are on hold until tomorrow, which is also the day I want to boil and honey roast my latest crack at producing ham.
Sunday 9th 1400
Shortly after typing the above my laptop packed in. When trying my new shirts on on Friday night (only two of them fitted so Ollivier was given the smaller ones, Sod’s Law stated that they had to be the two most expensive) and I managed to upend a glass of wine, depositing the contents all over my keyboard. With visions of having to buy another new keyboard, I hastily poured as much of the plonk as would come out of the laptop and dried it with tissues. I could still watch my downloaded programmes but trying to type anything just produced gibberish.
Yesterday morning it was working again to my relief but inexplicably it went on the blink. I really don’t want to spend a month’s wages on a new one so it was greatly appreciated when I found it was working again after the barbecue, aided no doubt by the aircon being left on to help it dry.
I actually set my alarm early enough today to go again for breakfast in town and shop but when I awoke I felt dreadful. I have no idea what was wrong but I was utterly drained of energy and knowing I have enough animal feed to last until Tuesday when I am free, I cancelled that idea. I still don’t feel up to the mark but am decidedly better. It’s hot dog night and Anna is coming to try, Yvonne doesn’t like the idea at all for some reason.
The only student I knew who I watched during the entire sports meeting was Anna. Joan, one of mine, forgot to tell me when she was running and then on Thursday because the school compressed the events due to impending rain, missed her final race as she was elsewhere. Brewery and drinking event sprang to mind when I was pondering on the administration abilities. Anna was dreadful at the triple jump but not unexpected seeing as she didn’t even know what it entailed the night before! In her final race, the 4 x 400m relay, she once again overtook two other runners but her teammates were tortoises so they finished fifth out of six.
On Thursday night she came to my home and I treated her to a film on my laptop, steak and kidney pie, chips, beans and a can of ginger ale which she was convinced was alcoholic.
Yesterday morning I hauled my carcase out of bed early enough to go and have a McBreakfast and took the bus to town. At the first stop after leaving the school gate there stood a solitary figure, a wizened old man who judging by the furrows etched into his face and the deep mahogany colour of his skin, was well into his sixties and was probably a farm worker. He had some heavy bags, presumably of produce he was on his way to sell, and he boarded. However, when he swiped his Chinese Oyster card equivalent (I don’t have one, it was stolen with my wallet three years ago when I was in hospital) the terminal gave him a “quack, quack, oops”. The fare on the bus is currently one yuan (10p) regardless of the number of stops you travel yet unbelievably the driver stopped the bus and opened the doors so the man would get off as he had no money and no credit on the card.
I was sitting at the very rear of the bus - it has the most legroom - and as I had only ensured I had one coin for my own fare, it occurred to me that if I were to assist the chap I would need to forfeit a ten yuan note or wait until another nine people got on. This I would have done simply to prevent the lunacy that was being played out because plainly the man had no cash and hadn’t realised his card was out of credit and he would have to lug his load all the way home to get some coins. I never had to leave my seat because a girl student got up, popped a coin in the machine and also gave her seat up for him. Well done that lass.
The sports meeting closing ceremony was held very prematurely, in fact Anna sent a message asking if I was in the stadium about a minute after I boarded the bus back to campus. I wasn’t going to be able to see it because I was at least half an hour away but I did arrange to meet with her while she had her lunch. Being with Anna means you are constantly in teacher mode. She never stops asking the meaning of words or how to pronounce them. I am sure she thinks it irritates me but the truth is I wish all of my own students would work as hard as she does on her chosen subject.
When I got back home my bike desperately needed charging but someone had parked their e-bike in the place I use. Short of using a second extension, I need to have that spot otherwise it won’t reach. I don’t mind if someone occupies it and are charging their own bike but this wasn’t. It was shrouded in a rain cover, alarmed, steering locked and a clamp on the rear wheel! I am getting a bit too old for manual labour but I toiled for five minutes sliding and scraping that damned bike out of there. It was so tempting to let his tyres down but it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out it was me and return the favour. I do hope he gets the message soon.
The rain did arrive and I did attempt to grab some sleep. That was, until workmen went into the flat directly beneath me on the ground floor and started laying flooring, hammering away for all they were worth. Kevin could hear it up on the fourth floor. Who on earth is stupid enough to move into a ground floor place is beyond me, for I don’t think the Chinese have heard of a damp course let alone use them when building. They are all incredibly damp down there. So far today no further work has been undertaken but it won’t surprise me if I am rudely awoken at seven tomorrow morning.
In the evening I was going to stay in given the cold and wet but Yvonne, who is currently at home in Anqing, sent me messages to say my online shopping had arrived. Four shirts and a pack of hot dog rolls. Seeing as I was out with the dog I went to the office for a while before coming back to no dinner. I was still bloated from breakfast! I had some Doritos instead…….
The plan today had been to invite Anna and a couple of others to try some proper western hot dogs now I have all the makings but I had forgotten about Ollivier’s arrangement to go with him and a lad with Kevin to the barbecue restaurant in the commercial centre. Hot dogs are on hold until tomorrow, which is also the day I want to boil and honey roast my latest crack at producing ham.
Sunday 9th 1400
Shortly after typing the above my laptop packed in. When trying my new shirts on on Friday night (only two of them fitted so Ollivier was given the smaller ones, Sod’s Law stated that they had to be the two most expensive) and I managed to upend a glass of wine, depositing the contents all over my keyboard. With visions of having to buy another new keyboard, I hastily poured as much of the plonk as would come out of the laptop and dried it with tissues. I could still watch my downloaded programmes but trying to type anything just produced gibberish.
Yesterday morning it was working again to my relief but inexplicably it went on the blink. I really don’t want to spend a month’s wages on a new one so it was greatly appreciated when I found it was working again after the barbecue, aided no doubt by the aircon being left on to help it dry.
I actually set my alarm early enough today to go again for breakfast in town and shop but when I awoke I felt dreadful. I have no idea what was wrong but I was utterly drained of energy and knowing I have enough animal feed to last until Tuesday when I am free, I cancelled that idea. I still don’t feel up to the mark but am decidedly better. It’s hot dog night and Anna is coming to try, Yvonne doesn’t like the idea at all for some reason.
Wednesday, 5 November 2014
Monday 3rd November, 2014 1415
Well yesterday has now been christened The Accidental Day.
First off, I invited the wrong Nancy and then about an hour after I posted yesterday’s blog Carol sent a message to say that she couldn’t come because the Lingdian Society (she is the president) had something on. Great, now I was down to three. Despite efforts on the bus to offer girls I didn’t know the chance of a free lunch, when we arrived at the Sichuan restaurant we were still three. The girls enjoyed the meal and I think Nancy had her eyes opened, for on the bus to town she asked me sceptically whether Chizhou has any decent restaurants.
For once I ate quite a bit and in my mind once we left was that would be the last I ate for the day with a quiet evening on campus. Then one of my “brothers” came and chatted to the girls in Chinese. He said I should also come for dinner in the evening as there was a performance. My first response was “no” but as time wore on I found myself considering it. I knew there was no way I would be able to eat anything more than a morsel or two but the thought of a show was too tempting. I arranged to meet Flora at the west gate and implored her to get two roommates or classmates to come as well so the food would all be eaten. She roped in Summer and Lynne so at least in the evening we were four. I kept the show bit a secret.
There were three men and two women performers and an organ keyboard player and they were all from Mongolia. Whether Inner or Outer I couldn’t ascertain but it was traditional Mongolian music and singing, although no dancing and no horses either. I really enjoyed it and including the part at the end where the audience can request songs on payment of 20y it lasted an hour all told. I will be going again once I get my camera back so will be able to post pictures. It’s about time they put on shows again, the place is very large and is popular so it draws even more people in. I did say this to them when the opera act went back to Beijing and it’s only taken them six months to realise. I think yesterday I ate more than any other day since the last time I went to the Happy Panda in the Hilton Hefei on a Sunday when they were doing the much-lamented international buffet. In fact I still feel full this afternoon.
The Terror still causes mayhem at all times, particularly in rearranging my bathroom, where everything on the shelf ends up in the sink and anything else on the floor. Worse, I am pretty sure he has attained the age at which they start spraying because my living room has recently suffered from some nasty niffs. My problem is that although we have nice dry weather, it is cold, only being in the mid teens. Whilst I can tog up I reckon if I took him on the bike to the vet he would be frozen in the cage. The only two buses I know don’t go anywhere near and would entail a lengthy walk or a taxi ride. I am seriously thinking of bribing a couple of students to take him for the op by giving them money to have a decent lunch on me for their trouble. But he has to be “done”.
Tuesday 4th 1240
Christ it is getting cold in the evenings now. Couple that with the fact I am now well and truly used to the summer heat here and you will realise why I have come to dislike winter intensely. Whereas I used to don appropriate clothing in order to ride to town on the bike, I am now leaning more and more towards taking the bus there and a taxi back instead.
This morning I finished off the final third of one of my graduating class of three year students. Many of them will be taking another exam in a month or two so as to be able to return for another two years (in reality it is eighteen months) in order to be able to upgrade their diploma to a degree. In half an hour I shall leave to go and complete the exams for their counterpart class and from thereon in for this term I will merely have classes on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays.
Having failed for the past three or so months to find any shirts big enough to fit me in any shop in town I am now resorting to the internet. It’s not something I really want to do because if they arrive and don’t fit I have to pay the return delivery. I don’t care if they are miles too big but my fear is that even when I order the largest size they have it will be too tight. I have to do something though as the shirts I have are all over a year old and I will lay odds holes will start appearing in due course. Trousers will be the next problem. The woman who used to have a free stall in the Lottemart mall for adjusting the leg length is now located inside the supermarket but I have yet to see her manning her sewing machine. I wouldn’t mind leaving them but if I give them my inside leg measurement it will be a disaster. The last time (when she had her little shop) I bought four pairs, marked one pair for the correct length and went for lunch. When I got home and tried them on she had cut the remaining three pairs by matching the length to the waistbands and not the legs! I had to take three pairs back to have them all shortened again. Thankfully it wasn’t the opposite way with me looking as if I had a leak in my basement.
Wednesday 5th 1930
What an odd day weatherwise. With a Mcbreakfast planned and Kevin doing a guest spot at number three middle school in town this morning, he very kindly offered me a lift to town but as I intended to bus it back we met at south gate. With a fleece on I was damned cold riding the bike and regretted not putting on a coat. An hour later I was sweating. Breakfast turned out to be two breakfasts, although it has to be said I have felt bloated all day and still do! In between the platter and the McMuffin I was being my usual observant self and spotted that the special offers for breakfast on the signs over the tills said you can add hash browns for only 5 yuan - or at least I assume that’s what the Chinese said. I approached the manager and spoke to him about this terrific deal and pointed out that on the main menu (the one they switch when they go into burger mode) the browns were only 4.5y. This galvanised him into action and by the time I got back to my seat someone had changed the main menu to a more expensive price! I should feel guilty but seeing as the tills give a price and regardless of what the menu says that’s what you pay, I may rest easy.
I did indeed get the bus back afterwards, standing room only and I was resigned to having to stand until we got to the bus and train stations. Now, they say you know when you are getting old when the policemen start looking young. They’ve done that for a long time to me now and in fact world leaders now appear positively youthful, but today it was taken to a whole new level. A copper gave up his seat for me!!!!!!
Not long after I got back I took Pepsi to the sports meeting to watch Anna in the 400m relay. Her team came second in the heat but I have to say had all her team ran as she did they would have cruised home in record time. She has a running style which so reminds me of Joanna in the 1500m (which she won two years on the trot) and saw her overhaul two other runners and put her team into first place. Sadly the subsequent runners lost the lead. I really think she should take a shot at the 1500m next year.
Then the weather turned again and started to rain while I was in the “office”. Flaming ridiculous. Breakfast had exhausted me so I tried to take a siesta but for some reason every time I do lately I have awful dreams so I got back up and went out with the mutt again. It’s really cold now.
A good night’s kip hopefully, the only race I know about for tomorrow is Anna’s at 1400 so I won’t set my alarm (although Joan has one at 0900 Friday). Lucy came to clean today and returned my camera together with all her photos from Beijing so I must try to download them and maybe post a few at a later stage.
Well yesterday has now been christened The Accidental Day.
First off, I invited the wrong Nancy and then about an hour after I posted yesterday’s blog Carol sent a message to say that she couldn’t come because the Lingdian Society (she is the president) had something on. Great, now I was down to three. Despite efforts on the bus to offer girls I didn’t know the chance of a free lunch, when we arrived at the Sichuan restaurant we were still three. The girls enjoyed the meal and I think Nancy had her eyes opened, for on the bus to town she asked me sceptically whether Chizhou has any decent restaurants.
For once I ate quite a bit and in my mind once we left was that would be the last I ate for the day with a quiet evening on campus. Then one of my “brothers” came and chatted to the girls in Chinese. He said I should also come for dinner in the evening as there was a performance. My first response was “no” but as time wore on I found myself considering it. I knew there was no way I would be able to eat anything more than a morsel or two but the thought of a show was too tempting. I arranged to meet Flora at the west gate and implored her to get two roommates or classmates to come as well so the food would all be eaten. She roped in Summer and Lynne so at least in the evening we were four. I kept the show bit a secret.
There were three men and two women performers and an organ keyboard player and they were all from Mongolia. Whether Inner or Outer I couldn’t ascertain but it was traditional Mongolian music and singing, although no dancing and no horses either. I really enjoyed it and including the part at the end where the audience can request songs on payment of 20y it lasted an hour all told. I will be going again once I get my camera back so will be able to post pictures. It’s about time they put on shows again, the place is very large and is popular so it draws even more people in. I did say this to them when the opera act went back to Beijing and it’s only taken them six months to realise. I think yesterday I ate more than any other day since the last time I went to the Happy Panda in the Hilton Hefei on a Sunday when they were doing the much-lamented international buffet. In fact I still feel full this afternoon.
The Terror still causes mayhem at all times, particularly in rearranging my bathroom, where everything on the shelf ends up in the sink and anything else on the floor. Worse, I am pretty sure he has attained the age at which they start spraying because my living room has recently suffered from some nasty niffs. My problem is that although we have nice dry weather, it is cold, only being in the mid teens. Whilst I can tog up I reckon if I took him on the bike to the vet he would be frozen in the cage. The only two buses I know don’t go anywhere near and would entail a lengthy walk or a taxi ride. I am seriously thinking of bribing a couple of students to take him for the op by giving them money to have a decent lunch on me for their trouble. But he has to be “done”.
Tuesday 4th 1240
Christ it is getting cold in the evenings now. Couple that with the fact I am now well and truly used to the summer heat here and you will realise why I have come to dislike winter intensely. Whereas I used to don appropriate clothing in order to ride to town on the bike, I am now leaning more and more towards taking the bus there and a taxi back instead.
This morning I finished off the final third of one of my graduating class of three year students. Many of them will be taking another exam in a month or two so as to be able to return for another two years (in reality it is eighteen months) in order to be able to upgrade their diploma to a degree. In half an hour I shall leave to go and complete the exams for their counterpart class and from thereon in for this term I will merely have classes on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays.
Having failed for the past three or so months to find any shirts big enough to fit me in any shop in town I am now resorting to the internet. It’s not something I really want to do because if they arrive and don’t fit I have to pay the return delivery. I don’t care if they are miles too big but my fear is that even when I order the largest size they have it will be too tight. I have to do something though as the shirts I have are all over a year old and I will lay odds holes will start appearing in due course. Trousers will be the next problem. The woman who used to have a free stall in the Lottemart mall for adjusting the leg length is now located inside the supermarket but I have yet to see her manning her sewing machine. I wouldn’t mind leaving them but if I give them my inside leg measurement it will be a disaster. The last time (when she had her little shop) I bought four pairs, marked one pair for the correct length and went for lunch. When I got home and tried them on she had cut the remaining three pairs by matching the length to the waistbands and not the legs! I had to take three pairs back to have them all shortened again. Thankfully it wasn’t the opposite way with me looking as if I had a leak in my basement.
Wednesday 5th 1930
What an odd day weatherwise. With a Mcbreakfast planned and Kevin doing a guest spot at number three middle school in town this morning, he very kindly offered me a lift to town but as I intended to bus it back we met at south gate. With a fleece on I was damned cold riding the bike and regretted not putting on a coat. An hour later I was sweating. Breakfast turned out to be two breakfasts, although it has to be said I have felt bloated all day and still do! In between the platter and the McMuffin I was being my usual observant self and spotted that the special offers for breakfast on the signs over the tills said you can add hash browns for only 5 yuan - or at least I assume that’s what the Chinese said. I approached the manager and spoke to him about this terrific deal and pointed out that on the main menu (the one they switch when they go into burger mode) the browns were only 4.5y. This galvanised him into action and by the time I got back to my seat someone had changed the main menu to a more expensive price! I should feel guilty but seeing as the tills give a price and regardless of what the menu says that’s what you pay, I may rest easy.
I did indeed get the bus back afterwards, standing room only and I was resigned to having to stand until we got to the bus and train stations. Now, they say you know when you are getting old when the policemen start looking young. They’ve done that for a long time to me now and in fact world leaders now appear positively youthful, but today it was taken to a whole new level. A copper gave up his seat for me!!!!!!
Not long after I got back I took Pepsi to the sports meeting to watch Anna in the 400m relay. Her team came second in the heat but I have to say had all her team ran as she did they would have cruised home in record time. She has a running style which so reminds me of Joanna in the 1500m (which she won two years on the trot) and saw her overhaul two other runners and put her team into first place. Sadly the subsequent runners lost the lead. I really think she should take a shot at the 1500m next year.
Then the weather turned again and started to rain while I was in the “office”. Flaming ridiculous. Breakfast had exhausted me so I tried to take a siesta but for some reason every time I do lately I have awful dreams so I got back up and went out with the mutt again. It’s really cold now.
A good night’s kip hopefully, the only race I know about for tomorrow is Anna’s at 1400 so I won’t set my alarm (although Joan has one at 0900 Friday). Lucy came to clean today and returned my camera together with all her photos from Beijing so I must try to download them and maybe post a few at a later stage.
Saturday, 1 November 2014
Saturday 1st November, 2014 2100
McDonald’s every time I go shopping has to stop. Well not entirely, just when it’s after ten o’clock. I am not enjoying the burgers although I suppose I could have a box of spicy wings. As it was raining yesterday I took the bus just after noon and when I returned I thought I would save money by also getting the bus - 1y bus vs. 30y taxi. The problem is, McDonald’s is the last stop before it leaves town so is usually crammed. Indeed the first two were, so I had a long wait for number three which was also standing room only. A rather nice female student did give up her seat for me though, although I suspect it was for an excuse to sit on her boyfriend’s lap! As for the rest of the day, a nap and little else.
This morning I decided to ride to town and go earlyish so I could have a McBreakfast - those I do like. I got there at five past ten and they had already switched menus! I gave them my biggest little boy lost look and for thirty seconds the menu went back to breakfast so I had two McMuffins to make it worthwhile. The trouble is, I’m not hungry now and it’s past dinner time!
Whilst in the supermarket I bought some pork fillet (which I must remember to start curing in the morning) to make some more ham (the remains of the first hock went into the soup) and spotted a couple of pieces of loin that would make perfect back bacon. Three of my students happened by so I asked them to request the “butcher” slice the meat using their machine. Unbelievably the guy said he couldn’t. I asked if I could come through and do it myself but that was refused. It’s damned annoying as I really don’t want to spend a fair bit on buying my own slicer, although if plenty of proof-reading is sent my way I may consider it. The problem is, with the complete lack of job security, if I leave I won’t be able to take many things with me unless I send dozens of tea chests with all my gear to any new school. Admittedly that would be cheaper than starting afresh at a new place I may only stay at for one year - really the only thing I would want to buy new would be an e-bike.
When I got back I took Pepsi out to office number four. I was really tired so decided I wouldn’t stay long but whilst there I looked in my phone numbers for my remaining two new wives, Rita and Nancy. Having taken three for dinner already it is only fair to treat them as well. I had Nancy’s number stored but not Rita’s so I sent Nancy a text inviting her to lunch tomorrow. Her reply was to the effect that perhaps I had made a mistake. No, you are one of my wives so I want to invite you. Yes, I am one of your students, said she.
About fifteen minutes later a familiar looking girl approached me and greeted me. Her name was also Nancy. She is in Yvonne’s class and I had invited the wrong girl! I explained to her my mistake but as it would have been churlish to then cancel the invitation I said we were still on and that when I got home I would invited the other Nancy and Rita. Blow me if they both haven’t got classes tomorrow! Well there’s no way I am taking one person to the Sichuan restaurant, their portions are too big to order more than one dish if there are only two of you. So now Anna and Carol are coming. Sadly I am still sans camera until Lucy returns otherwise I would be able to post some pictures later of what is now to be called The Accidental Lunch!
Some of you may know that in China there are public bicycles you can borrow for free on production of your ID card. For the past term or so tandems have appeared on campus. Recently though there has been a proliferation of triplet bikes (a la Goodies, three-man) and weird four wheeled ones that look like golf buggies where the two riders sit side by side and both have a steering wheel. The thing is, here the kids use them, especially at weekends.
Oh, and Mum the dog is pregnant again.
McDonald’s every time I go shopping has to stop. Well not entirely, just when it’s after ten o’clock. I am not enjoying the burgers although I suppose I could have a box of spicy wings. As it was raining yesterday I took the bus just after noon and when I returned I thought I would save money by also getting the bus - 1y bus vs. 30y taxi. The problem is, McDonald’s is the last stop before it leaves town so is usually crammed. Indeed the first two were, so I had a long wait for number three which was also standing room only. A rather nice female student did give up her seat for me though, although I suspect it was for an excuse to sit on her boyfriend’s lap! As for the rest of the day, a nap and little else.
This morning I decided to ride to town and go earlyish so I could have a McBreakfast - those I do like. I got there at five past ten and they had already switched menus! I gave them my biggest little boy lost look and for thirty seconds the menu went back to breakfast so I had two McMuffins to make it worthwhile. The trouble is, I’m not hungry now and it’s past dinner time!
Whilst in the supermarket I bought some pork fillet (which I must remember to start curing in the morning) to make some more ham (the remains of the first hock went into the soup) and spotted a couple of pieces of loin that would make perfect back bacon. Three of my students happened by so I asked them to request the “butcher” slice the meat using their machine. Unbelievably the guy said he couldn’t. I asked if I could come through and do it myself but that was refused. It’s damned annoying as I really don’t want to spend a fair bit on buying my own slicer, although if plenty of proof-reading is sent my way I may consider it. The problem is, with the complete lack of job security, if I leave I won’t be able to take many things with me unless I send dozens of tea chests with all my gear to any new school. Admittedly that would be cheaper than starting afresh at a new place I may only stay at for one year - really the only thing I would want to buy new would be an e-bike.
When I got back I took Pepsi out to office number four. I was really tired so decided I wouldn’t stay long but whilst there I looked in my phone numbers for my remaining two new wives, Rita and Nancy. Having taken three for dinner already it is only fair to treat them as well. I had Nancy’s number stored but not Rita’s so I sent Nancy a text inviting her to lunch tomorrow. Her reply was to the effect that perhaps I had made a mistake. No, you are one of my wives so I want to invite you. Yes, I am one of your students, said she.
About fifteen minutes later a familiar looking girl approached me and greeted me. Her name was also Nancy. She is in Yvonne’s class and I had invited the wrong girl! I explained to her my mistake but as it would have been churlish to then cancel the invitation I said we were still on and that when I got home I would invited the other Nancy and Rita. Blow me if they both haven’t got classes tomorrow! Well there’s no way I am taking one person to the Sichuan restaurant, their portions are too big to order more than one dish if there are only two of you. So now Anna and Carol are coming. Sadly I am still sans camera until Lucy returns otherwise I would be able to post some pictures later of what is now to be called The Accidental Lunch!
Some of you may know that in China there are public bicycles you can borrow for free on production of your ID card. For the past term or so tandems have appeared on campus. Recently though there has been a proliferation of triplet bikes (a la Goodies, three-man) and weird four wheeled ones that look like golf buggies where the two riders sit side by side and both have a steering wheel. The thing is, here the kids use them, especially at weekends.
Oh, and Mum the dog is pregnant again.
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