Monday 30th September, 2013                        2230

That’s me done for a week’s holiday - the “Golden Week”. Tomorrow is China’s 64th birthday. It is also a more sombre anniversary, being 30 years since my father left us but I shan’t dwell on that.

Yesterday was flipping horrible because when you only have one day a week to get up before midday if you don’t want to, even if you want an early night in preparation you aren’t tired!

I made it through though and afterwards encountered some of my ex 3 year course students who have now returned for another 2 years to get a higher qualification. The first I met was Tracy and I invited her for dinner tonight, she accepted and we set a time to meet. Later Bessie and two others stopped by my “office” and Bessie is without doubt the most gifted 3 year student I have ever had so it was lovely to see her again.

This morning I had a text from Tracy apologising that she couldn’t come. They had extra late classes sprung on them by the school (Kevin had the same with his date) so as I really wanted to go out for dinner I struggled without success to get a replacement. The problem was that most of the students had either left to go home already for the holiday or were doing so this afternoon. Not to be thwarted I went early for my afternoon class, peeked in the door, picked the best looking girl - Flora - and invited her.

And so it was that she came on the bike marvelling at the route I took (in over a year she has never been there and sticks to the buses)  and we went to the Japanese place. From disaster came an excellent evening. I tried a few dishes I haven’t before - the Australian ribs I won’t again but the mushrooms are a definite yes. I think that was my twelfth visit and I have always taken pretty girls, often a brace at a time but this time the chef really took a shine to Flora. Apparently he asked for her number but she refused so he gave her his! She won’t call him of course but like me he can live in hope! When I ordered the “surprise” I suggested she get ready to take a photo but instead she videoed the whole thing on her phone. She now has plenty of things to tell her parents when she goes home tomorrow! I did take one photo there and I wish to hell I had taken a few because as you will see she looks terrible in it and the reality is that she is a very pretty girl. Were I to send it to her she would be horrified. I can’t think what she was doing when the flash went.

So tomorrow will be a lot quieter on campus and the plan is to go shopping. The rest of this week will probably be catching up on some paperwork for the uni, pressing trousers and generally loafing about. And maybe investigating furniture shops and the price of beds, dining tables, chairs etc……..

Saturday 28th September, 2013                     1900

Not happy.

I went to bed last night tired and well before midnight in preparation for an eight o’clock wake up for the Foreign Language Society’s “recruit the freshmen” do at ten. I never slept well and felt terrible when I got up but after showering and taking the hound out I duly set off on my bike after waking Kevin up as he had overslept. It was raining lightly and when I had told my “contact” there was a strong possibility of this happening a few days before  and questioned the sagacity of scheduling it for taking place alfresco on the basketball courts by number one canteen I was informed if that happened it would be shifted to the foreign language building. Notwithstanding this I went to the basketball ground but nobody was there and so carried on to our teaching block.

There was nobody there either.

I sent texts to Kevin to tell him things didn’t look right and also to my contact. The event was cancelled yesterday but nobody bothered to tell the three star guests. I feel sure you can imagine my feelings (and indeed Kevin’s although Ollivier didn’t count as his infant had gotten him up at 0530 anyway) as I felt awful plus I had turned down a lesson at the kids school to boot. I heard a rumour about an hour ago that this do will take place tomorrow instead - in the evening probably since tomorrow is a normal teaching day due to the upcoming break. It doesn’t take a genius to know that if they have the gall to invite me the answer will contain two, rather than three, letters.

It seems the school want all three western teachers to move to the new apartments. The time is thus rapidly approaching when I shall need to set up a meeting with Prof Fang regarding my future here. If I am to move then I would much prefer to put my stamp on the new place and don’t mind slowly buying my own furnishings and appliances if I know I am staying. Whilst initially I was against the move now (if I am staying) it makes sense. We get to choose which flat we want for starters - I said first floor (so I don’t need to climb stairs as I do now) but Cinny told me not to take the bottom places as they get damp (clearly damp courses don’t exist here!). So fine, we went to have a look at a couple of the flats seeing as we were all dressed up with nowhere to go. I fancy one of two on the second floor but could only get into one so have asked for a “viewing”. Kevin wants the 3rd, 4th or even 5th floor but we looked at the ones on the 2nd seeing as they are identical in layout. They could be nice. They are bare at the moment but they have two bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen and living room. In my case it will be one bedroom and a pets corner though! I can shut them in at night and never let them in my bedroom, meaning I can buy nice bedding which won’t be destroyed regularly by claws.

Cinny is even going to suggest to the uni that they may like to give me the money they would be spending on a new bed so I can buy one I want and pay the difference - that would be great. I don’t mind investing in some creature comforts if I have at least some security of tenure. It would seem the decision to shift us all to brand new pads was prompted by our comments at the “complaint” meeting and it is a welcome development.

Not such a good development was the news that it is now doubtful I will be going to Tongling to be with Qing next week. She asked her uncle what days she will have off next week and was told “none”. I suggested that it would be fine for me to come, have dinner and stay the night before leaving the next day and I didn’t need her to meet me and deposit me at the station but it transpires she has six Russian girls under her to look after and when she is working they either all eat together at the company eatery in the evenings or she takes them out to a restaurant. The thought of dining out with her and six Russian girls (provided they aren’t Olympic shot-putters) is rather tempting but somehow I don’t think she would appreciate the sentiment. I know the arrangement sounds outlandish but this is a different world - one where parents go back to work straight after a baby is born, the grandparents look after the kids and the parents support their own parents financially when they are past working. Alien concepts to westerners perhaps but the norm here, so much so that a law was passed recently compelling children to visit and care for their aged parents. There is a state pension but I think it’s about £7 a month, hence people scrimp and sacrifice to send their only permissible child for further education so they in turn can get a good salary and look after them in their dotage.

A strange country and culture but who’s to say the western way is better?

Wednesday 25th September, 2013              1730

Well Teddy went out on the lead with me and Pepsi late last night and didn’t disgrace himself inside when I was sleeping. When I got up this morning I thought I would take a chance and let him come without the lead. He was as good as gold, sticking close to me all the way.

On the way back however there was a plump elderly Chinese woman who called out to him and he greeted her like a long lost friend. She picked him up and rattled off a load of Chinese to me so I motioned for her to wait whilst I phoned the student who originally brought him to me. I had a feeling the dog was hers and I was right. After they spoke for a while the student said I should let her have Teddy which I did but not before asking the student to tell the woman to get some treatment for him. He trotted off after her as happy as Larry, thus sparing me the worry that the student would indeed take him home in the break. In a way I am a little sad because he had a lovely character but taking two dogs on an e-bike?

That now means I only have to take Pepsi to the vet sometime next week. After complete silence from her since I last visited, this lunchtime Qing finally called me. Her phone had been broken and during the repairs all the numbers had been deleted. She mainly uses her phone for the internet so never emailed me. I have mixed emotions regarding her news. She decided not to study in Australia after all and is now the assistant to the general manager at her uncle’s company plus she is their translator - they do a lot of business with Arabs and Russians. I am a little disappointed she never went to Oz because it would have been good experience for her and a Masters degree from Sydney would have been a great fallback. On the other hand, very selfishly I am happy because she is only an hour and a half away so I can see her during holidays. I know her uncle tempted her with a salary far greater than mine! She is reverting with which two days she will have off during the national holiday and I shall do what I did last time.

Tonight is western Wednesday, the chicken wings are done and just need reheating in the microwave, the beef stew is bubbling away waiting for me to plop the dumplings on top (I pray they are better than my first attempt which was a disaster) and Ollivier is making an apple pie. Our meal is either going to be very good indeed or an unmitigated flop. Normally I would be supremely confident of my wings if nothing else but this morning I realised I had no wine so used Jing Jo (medicine wine instead! Watch this space!

Thursday 26th          0030

Western Wednesday ended rather late only after six bottles of imported French and fake Chinese French wines were consumed. Personally I found them all drinkable but Kevin being the pseudo wine buff found the “fake” unpotable but strangely only after Ollivier pointed out errors in the French on the labelling. Me? Well it meant more glasses for me seeing as I thought it tasted fine!

The wings went down well (so glad because in 3 years Joanna had unbelievably never had them), the beef stew I have to say even though I cooked it was superb. Kevin offered a rare compliment by saying it was the best dish yet. Olivier of course took the prize for his desserts of both apple pie ( actually an apple tart but forgive him, he’s from Barcelona!) and his oh so rich chocolate mousse. I think it’s the only time apart from pizzas that all three of our Chinese guests have liked everything. So yes, the perfect meal and now I wish I had done double the dumplings because the girls (Doris, Marlene and Joanna) all loved them. They are of course used to Chinese dumplings (or dim sum to western folk) and have never had good old suet dumplings. I simply wasn’t sure if I could make decent ones.

A lovely, lovely night and one which reinforced why we are here. Not just to teach them our language but a little of our culture.

Tuesday 24th September, 2013               2100

Currently in Chez Whipsnade there are a few noses out of joint. Four to be precise.

After a late night last night I enjoyed a sleep in, surprising myself by only waking just after eleven. As Pepsi had held on for twelve hours I leapt up, dressed rapidly and took her out for her morning constitutional. Only when I returned did I switch my phone on.

Two minutes after doing so I received a message that had been sent nearly three hours earlier asking if I was in the Boxue building (the foreign language teaching block) as the unidentified sender had found an injured dog and could I help? Feeling unnecessarily guilty at having been asleep, I replied and was told the dog had disappeared but the student would try later to find it. If she (at that point I had no idea of the sex) found it could I keep it in my home for six days until she could take it to her parents’ place in the national holiday? Hoping of course that the dog was wild and wouldn’t wish to be caught, I agreed. I am viewed as a Johnny Morris character here who can heal any animal, completely irrationally.

Stone me if after I finished afternoon classes and got back home, the student didn’t ask me my room number because she had got the dog! It was impossible for me to refuse so I waited to see how wild and how big the mutt was. Two girls turned up with a sorry looking specimen about half the size of Pepsi. To my horror it is male and of course Pepsi hasn’t been spayed. Not long after they arrived Cinny sent a message asking if she could bring two of her students to see the dog. Bearing in mind it has clearly had an owner because it was wearing a harness, I hoped it was so she could identify it and return it to its rightful owner. No such luck, she just wanted to see him.

The dog, who I have named Teddy for now, clearly hasn’t been maltreated by humans as he is quite precocious and demands a lot of attention. He has however been given a haircut for the summer (presumably) but my guess is the wound on his flank was caused by another dog and there are bald patches which may or not be my old enemy, mange. I have iodine, cream and mange spray so he has been treated with those and seems perfectly happy to be here although he does follow me absolutely everywhere which made taking Pepsi to the shops problematic in that I had to coax her out of the flat whilst keeping him inside.

I hate to do this to him for he is an affectionate little thing but I can’t risk yet more puppies being produced so when I am asleep or not here when Pepsi is, he will be living in the bathroom. I am now praying that when I shut him in at night he doesn’t bark! And of course in the middle of the night when I need to get up for the loo I just hope I remember he’s in there and he doesn’t slip past me.

If it wasn’t for the school’s one child policy I would be tempted to keep him. Having him neutered would be a quarter of the cost of having Pepsi done. He’s a lovely little chap and even now as I type he is sitting patiently at my feet. The other family members of course are in high dudgeon, with Pepsi exhibiting very plain jealousy.

Kevin thinks I am mad but then he can refuse for any number of reasons. If I do when it is universally known - and has been broadcast on local TV and in the papers - as someone who loves animals, how can I? The students come to me with anything animal related and although I can say I am only supposed to have one dog it would hardly put me in a good light when it is only for six days.

The extra mouth to feed is not a problem. Getting out with one dog and leaving the other behind is, as would even thinking of taking two dogs on an e-bike be! Of course the morning, lunchtime and evening walks will now involve Teddy being on a lead as I have no idea if he would return to me when called, even though I think possibly he would. I can only think he either ran away - doubtful considering the way he is with me - or the owner decided they couldn’t afford the treatment he needs.

But why me???

Sunday 22nd September, 2013                   1930

My sole activity yesterday was a trip to town for veg for Wednesday. I just went to RT Mart and never bothered about lunch. I got my shopping and queued to pay. The bag of duck gizzards I had bought for the animals wouldn’t scan. You could be forgiven for thinking that the cashier would simply key the barcode number in manually but no - I wasn’t allowed to have the bag! Incredible and there was no way I was going all the way to the back of the shop to get another bag, have it weighed and a price sticker slapped on it so instead I simply expressed my displeasure rather loudly. Had it not been for the three bottles of cheap plonk in my carrier I would have simply refused to pay, left the goods and told them I was going to Lottemart. Next time anything like that happens that’s exactly what I will do because cancelling off items already scanned for some reason cause huge problems here and other customers will be inconvenienced. In fact if it weren’t for the cheap wine, gin, tonic, baguettes and my special flour I would happily boycott the place forever. Useless.

For dinner last night I heated two of the scotch eggs I got online and served them with mashed potatoes and warm ketchup. I was convinced that the sausagemeat would be the same sawdust as in the bangers and sausage rolls but I was pleasantly surprised to find them edible.

I wanted an early night seeing as I needed to be up at 0630 for a full day of teaching but of course when you only have one morning a week where that happens, Sod’s law states you won’t be tired until well after midnight. I am certainly tired now.

While I was sitting in my “office” having my usual couple and being available for anyone to practise their English on, a girl suddenly plonked herself down beside me. Her English name is Joanna so as I already have one of those I shall henceforth refer to her as Sad Jo. She is a music major and plays the guitar and piano. However the reason I have named her Sad Jo is precisely because she was so maudlin. She’s a freshman and when asked how long she has been here she knew it was exactly 21 days! She is homesick.

Needless to say I worked on cheering her up, Kevin and Ollivier both chanced by later for a chat as well and now she not only has my phone and ICQ numbers but also a new “friend” she can talk to when she is down. The funny thing is, her hometown is Anqing, just an hour away on the bus so in theory she could go home every weekend - money permitting. I hope though that I managed to lift her spirits a little this evening.

Tonight’s gastronomic delights will be jacket potato, baked beans and one of the beef pies I also got online. They look the part, whether the promise is fulfilled remains to be seen. I have left my bike out in the open tonight and I am wondering if that was wise. Typhoon Usagi (meaning “rabbit”) is heading to Hong Kong and whilst we are far enough inland for it to have little effect and the forecast says Wednesday is the day for us to get a drenching I wonder if I will get a wet bum tomorrow!

Friday 20th September, 2013               2345

Words to describe today? Impromptu, unexpected, different and above all enjoyable.

I did indeed get up early to see for the first time in three years the military passing out parade. I should say that military training here is not really that - more a patriotism thing and the students are no more equipped to fight at the end than my cats.

They can’t even march in time although to be fair it takes longer than ten days to get 3400 young people into shape but it was passable nonetheless. Except for one boy, who I shall mention shortly. This was nothing like the Edinburgh Tattoo, Dartmouth, Sandhurst etc but nevertheless it stirred my emotions - simply because I was looking at China’s future serried  in ranks below.

The parade itself was quite boring with very little to grip the imagination and so I doubt I will attend another but I felt I should do so at least once. One thing that I couldn’t help thinking though was that the Chinese equivalent of an RSM had a microphone with which to issue orders. Would a British regimental sergeant major EVER need a microphone? Actually, I wouldn’t either!

Back to the boy. In the regular army in any country he would tonight be under punishment. Sadly I never thought to take a photo but among 3400 souls marching past not only was he on the outside nearest the inspection/salute dignitaries but he was the only one wearing a red shirt underneath his uniform and which hung below his jacket by a good three inches! In a sea of camouflage there was a clear flash of red.

After the parade I took Pepsi for a beer outside the sweet pork place, the intention being to have a couple and then a kip before taking Petty aka Ashley out for dinner. Three of my few boy students (one of them Tony who is a pain in the proverbial) and Tony asked me to treat them for a beer as they were just “poor” students. You may imagine my answer, but after thinking awhile I decided to break my habit of only taking girls for meals. I treated them to lunch. While they enjoyed the two dishes I ordered more than the ones they chose, I don’t think any of them will challenge me to a drinking contest any time soon. No, I wasn’t in competition, far from it, I was tired and simply wanted a siesta after in preparation for tonight, but the bravest of the three managed two bottles of beer (the equivalent of one bottle of western beer) before having to rush to the toilet to throw up. Why they have to try to prove their manhood in this manner is beyond me.

When I got home Ashley called. Her friend (who I never invited anyway seeing as we were going on the bike) was busy tonight so could we do it tomorrow? No we bloody well can’t and after three years don’t you trust me? Apparently not, so end of invitations for her - I don’t need that.

Anyway I had a kip and on waking went to my “office” wondering what to do. Solitary dining is not preferred and all the girls I would have liked to invite were either busy or had gone home for the holiday. My thoughts turned to cooking one of the pies that arrived yesterday for my dinner but then two of my students (to my shame I can’t remember their names) asked if they could talk to me. You know what happened next.

I rode to the Japanese place, they took the bus. We had a lovely meal and yes they had the fire ice cream at the end. It was great and at the finish I insisted I pay for a taxi for them to get home seeing as the nearest bus stop was one hell of a long way. They wouldn’t hear of it and I have no idea how it came about but eventually there were three of us on my e-bike! Normal for Chinese, not for me but we got home safely, if a trifle cramped.

All in all a great day as indeed those days when you simply go with the flow so often are. Enjoy the photos.

Tuesday 17th September, 2013            1930

Basking up in the mid thirties, once again demonstrating the completely unpredictable weather we get in this small corner of China.

This afternoon I went to the sweet pork place cum fruiterers with Pepsi and checked to see if I had been paid yet. I haven’t and Cinny will go to accounts tomorrow as she doesn’t believe their cock and bull story either but that’s not why I mention this. I have on numerous occasions queued for the ATM and waited impatiently while students take ages to withdraw monies.

Today though I think I finally twigged why so many of them take out multiple amounts. The girl in front of me took 100y out and then without removing her card took another hundred and then did it a third time. The options here are as of course anywhere else - here being 100, 200, 500, 1000, 2000, 3000. She wanted 300y so as it wasn’t an option she made three separate transactions instead of manually keying the number in!

Tomorrow afternoon is my last class before the three day break and already I have had two students (both boys) asking for leave. The first one - a broth of a boy - said it is his birthday and he wants to go home early. Honesty I admire but number two has a “cold”. I am now in the process of either calling his bluff or costing myself money! I have said I will visit his dorm after class with some fruit. I could be wrong! I am sure by lunchtime tomorrow I will receive a few headaches, “stomaches”, “teethaches” and fevers - I just wish they wouldn’t look upon me as an idiot and tell the truth. They think they are the only ones who have ever been students….. not that I ever bunked off in my life (and I am not claiming to be perfect, I just never did).

Wednesday 18th         2215

Why do Chinese trousers never have grippers in the waistband? Possibly it’s fine for “normal” people but for a porker who wears them under the gut rather than over, it means racheting the belt up really, uncomfortably tight. One day I will see if I can afford a tailor and have some made the way I need them.

By the way, the chap I never believed was ill? Let’s just say it cost me money for fruit but I have no doubt word will get around and just maybe I might start to see a little more honesty from those skipping lessons.

Holiday time now and tomorrow is the harvest moon although it won’t be much of a holiday for me. I need to go shopping tomorrow and I want to try to make it to the passing out parade on Friday morning. Saturday I probably have kids to teach and of course Sunday is back to work anyway.

I have declared a western Wednesday for next week and will do wings for Joanna but I am struggling for inspiration as to what to do for a main course. It can’t be anything time consuming due to the wings so I am toying with the idea of a prawn and chorizo fritatta, except I will use Chinese dried sausage in place of chorizo. I am dubious as to how it will go down with our Chinese guests though, what with it being so eggy.

On Friday evening I am taking Ashley (aka Petty) to the Japanese place and tomorrow my pies, scotch eggs, gammon and ham should arrive. At some point before Monday I also need to dream up yet another activity for the students. No wonder I always feel tired!

Oh, and finally I got paid today a week late. I have no idea what lame excuse would be given if I bothered to ask but both Cinny and I agree we would rather not see the problem again.

Sunday 15th September, 2013                       1945

On Friday, the day the weird machine I had observed for over a week was leaving, finally an English speaking student chanced by. The mystery was solved - they were inserting conduits for electric cabling. Not very exciting admittedly but it would have intrigued me forever had I not found out.

Yesterday when I went to the sweet pork place other workmen were digging trenches but what I couldn’t fail but notice was the fact the restaurant now had baskets of fruit for sale outside the door, they are branching out. It so happens that they seem to be shifting a fair bit, they even asked me if I wanted to buy any but I think I got the message across that I would prefer if they could start selling shee-jars (cigars) and then I would be a buyer. Won’t hold my breath though.

Today has been lazy, from cold not so long ago we are once again back up to the low thirties. Lucy came as agreed to start work as my Mrs Mop and as the floor really did need a good going over I told her that the deck plus the surfaces was it for today. It took her two hours which for 100y I am sure she didn’t mind and I have to say my floor is the cleanest it’s been since I got here. Roll on next week when she tackles the bathroom!

The pay problem continues to roll on. Thursday was payday but when I went to the ATM nothing was there, nor was there on Friday. I sent a text to Cinny and also to Kevin to let him know I had alerted the school. He replied that he had been paid. Great. It appears out of more than 500 teachers I am the only one - and this after the meeting where our problems in this respect were brought to their attention. Yes of course I will be paid sometime this week but the Chinese honestly haven’t a clue that just perhaps some people budget on the basis that they can count on their wages being paid on time. I have the luxury of not being skint so it is more annoying than anything, just as well I never made a major purchase.

Monday 16th           2115

And I had better post this as it has been a while!

First class with a new activity this afternoon. I am struggling for ideas now and the students - who of course want them - never come up with any bright ideas, just expect me to be the games master. This week I thought I would try a version of Just A Minute and split the class into groups, telling them to come up with 5 topics and they would get to nominate one person from another group to speak on a topic, the longer they did the more points for their team. When the topics were ready and all four teams had made them as difficult as possible I had them switch papers so they got their own topics asked of them - they were horrified but I suspect a little admiring of my Machiavellianism!

My last shopping package has yet to arrive which is particularly irksome as tonight I have to eat campus food (tonight is battered chicken and some bread cakes of some sort) when I would have enjoyed a beef slice with mash and veg, a scotch egg or gammon steak.

Wednesday 11th September, 2013              2300

Today was most odd. We had our meeting, which turned out to be purely for the foreign teachers and their assistants along with the vice chancellor, Prof Fang and some other senior members of staff. And yes, we were free to air our gripes so I gave the tale of the bank accounts and left the others to Kevin. Whether it will have any effect? Maybe not. The dinner invitation was as I suspected our mid autumn festival dinner so I decamped to home to let the mutt out for a pee and then returned to get a lift with Kevin, who was staying downtown tonight.

The meal was at the Baihe hotel, a rather nice place sporting Regency style chairs for the dining table. As normal there were dozens of dishes, among the most unusual were jellyfish (not too keen on it) and cuttlefish (quite nice actually).

Now here is what made the day both strange and for me, confusing.

Kevin and I were both asked if we would like to move into one of the new two bedroom apartments. A considerable honour to be sure seeing as the Chinese teachers had to apply and were given them based on the number of points they had - length of service, qualifications etc - but it has completely mystified me. Why? Because if I have to find another job next summer why go to the trouble of moving me? It doesn’t make sense.

Additionally, in view of Prof Fang’s comment last term after I was sacked and was seeking a reversal, she expressed the worry that drinking pijou increased my blood pressure. Actually it doesn’t and alcohol often has the opposite effect when combined with medication but that‘s another thing. Anyway, during the onslaught of gambays that are a ritual part of any formal Chinese meal, I was confining myself to half glasses of ale. When Prof Fang toasted me, to my amazement she demanded I fill my glass. Curiouser and curiouser.

Additionally it would seem there is a definite unwritten pecking order for the foreign teachers. At a Chinese meal the host or most important person always takes the chair facing the door, in this case the vice chancellor. Kevin and I were seated to his right and left while Ollivier was two seats from me and the new Korean teacher was two seats from him. I would have thought if I was on the way out, surely I would have been placed in a lower position and anyway as the Korean lady has only just joined us I would have expected this to be her welcome meal and take pride of place. Not so.

On top of that Kevin who - bless his soul - had joined in with red wine and baijiu (and who is not a drinker) came to me and said that if we played our cards right our futures are secure. I enquired as to precisely what cards he was referring to and was told I had to get more involved. What???? How much more involved can I get? I go to all the student functions and am available most of the day if I am around for them to come and chat. He withdrew after opining he would chat with me when his head was clearer!

All in all, I can only say I am confused by the signals and messages today brought.

Thursday 12th         2215

Should have been a lazy day but instead it was focussed on unblocking my loo! I have a mop dedicated to such a thing but today it was most obstinate and only after an Herculean effort half an hour ago did I finally manage it.

I took Joanna to Brownings restaurant this evening, the new western style one. We were going to bus it but it was such a lovely warm evening she relented and we used the bike. I showed her the alternative route and for a second time I managed to get gloriously lost, riding through parts of the city hitherto unknown to me! There is clearly still some of the navigator in me for coming down a road I said to her that I thought this was where she taught in the summer. Until we actually passed the estate gates she hadn’t a clue!

The verdict after two visits to the restaurant? The best bit is the little cutie waitress. They had pea soup this time but without bragging mine is far better (and I now have the split peas to make it, the ham will arrive in a few more days) and the penne Bolognese is definitely not a patch on mine. Joanna ordered the Thai seafood hot soup, liked it apart from the noodles, potato cakes which are good and sausage and potato “pie” which was not well received, being Chinese sausage on top of pork mince on top of sliced spuds swimming in the oil from the above. She loved the Tiramisu though. The food is expensive as are the drinks (I took a hip flask of Jing Jo to save needing two cans of beer) and I could forgive all that if the food was something to write home about. It isn’t. I think their biggest problem is that the kitchen is no bigger than a small UK domestic one and I don’t think they will be in business a long time. Sad really as the actual restaurant is nicely turned out. Just short of 300y for two? I expect much better. I will go there again simply to see if I can find some dishes I like but it won’t be often.

I never took my camera sadly but hopefully Joanna will send me the ones she took with her phone. In the meantime it is Fearsome Friday tomorrow with a full line up of classes.

Tuesday 20th September, 2013           2210

Suddenly I have little time to do anything.

Today was teachers day and apart from numerous texts from my students saluting me I was given a gift of an assorted bag of fruit by Amy’s class, who I teach on Fridays. Very sweet of them and completely unnecessary.

I was supposed to be taken to dinner last night by a young lad but that was cancelled because he had been sent to mount Jiuhua for work, so it was rescheduled for today. I had thought he was a graduate of this school but in fact he studied at Huainan university. He and his 35 year old brother (the one with the Buick - most convenient!) took me out for dinner just now along with three girls. The boys had English names, Michael the young one and brother Kevin, two of the girls never had a name so I had to baptise them after my sisters Lisa and Sarah, the third girl had her own name. Soda!!!!!!

I doubt I differ much from most in that when a complete stranger contacts you to socialise there is a fear it will be awkward and ultimately you will be left with the unpleasant task of refusing further invitations. For obvious reasons I receive many such unsolicited invitations yet in the main I enjoy the occasions and only one person - Gary who left a note on my door the first week I was in China - I have really taken a dislike to and actively avoid and ignore phone calls from.

Tonight I must say was really enjoyable. Initially Michael suggested we eat at one of the campus restaurants but I expressed my lack of enthusiasm for the food on offer here in school so I suggested the sweet pork place, having ascertained he had no car and at least I could take him on the bike. He called the cavalry instead, his brother, and proceeded to invite the three girl students here who he knows, all of whom struggle with their weight but are really nice. He decided we would go to town and asked me where I would like to go. We ended up at the Japanese place, from whence our Kevin had departed not three minutes previously by the time we arrived. I really had a great time and they want to take me out again - I hope they do.

This afternoon I received notification of a meeting tomorrow afternoon to which the foreigners are (unusually) invited, following which the school will take us for dinner. Apparently we can offer our opinions on the teaching and also our life here. I wonder if indeed we will be taken for dinner afterwards, for I intend to raise the subject of the appalling manner in which the laowei ceased to exist for admin over the bank change, while Kevin is going to bring up other topics such as us being invited an hour before a dinner, the fact last term we were within hours of being illegal aliens etc. We may never be invited again, if - that is - we are allowed to say our piece.

This meeting caused a slight problem for me for I will be late as I am teaching and also I had invited Joanna out to the western restaurant. Arriving late doesn’t bother me though and Joanna was quite happy to move our date to Thursday instead.

As you can see, what with the freshmen weekend of joining groups (I believe it is this Saturday and Sunday) and doubtless I will be collared for a stint on the language stall, life has become temporarily hectic.

I am now looking forward to next Thursday Friday and Saturday and the three day break for mid autumn festival, not though the Sunday when we have to make up Friday’s classes. I have six periods then…….

Saturday 7th September, 2013            2200

Another cold day although the rain stayed away for the most part. I had no option but to go to town, even though I could have fed the animals there was the small matter of my being down to just three cigars.

Operation Cheroot was I am happy to report, a success, with my obtaining 200 without having to do too much searching. I may if I have the energy go again tomorrow so I can buy some food for myself instead of just the pets - I am not Chinese and therefore don’t like to pile three tonnes of shopping on an e-bike and a stew or Bolognese would be nice. I also had the replacement dashboard fitted to the bike so I now know when the batteries are getting low. I shouldn’t have been but I was disappointed with the speedometer. The old one showed 53kph flat out on the level but this one I think is considerably more accurate and shows top end at 45kph. Silly  of me really because the bike is still doing the same speed as before!

My online shopping is now ordered and indeed I did go mad - it cost nearly 800y even though I left a few things off until next month’s pay is in but at least I will be able to have some “luxury” food and make real soup for the other two lads, plus show some Chinese that soup is more than just flavoured water with bits of egg and a few strands of seaweed floating in it.

On the way home I came as usual via Pyngtian Lake and the route is that just past the “ship” I turn right. As I approached the turn a silver car was approaching from behind at speed but which was unable to pull out to overtake due to oncoming traffic. I got the usual car horn - presumably ordering me to ride into the trees to let them pass - and as per, ignored it. I did though put my indicators on (a rarity for e-bike riders or cars for that matter) and started to brake. This had the effect of making the sounding of the horn even more strident and imperious, so as I actually turned I bellowed “**** off!!!” In my mirror I noticed the car had stopped at the junction so turned to look behind and saw the passenger, a young male in his early 20s, glaring malevolently at me. I offered a one-finger salute, and presumably having seen I probably outweighed both he and the driver combined, they continued on their way.

When I got back the campus was utter chaos. I think the security guys were raking in the overtime trying to control the parents in their cars. In typical fashion they think nothing of completely blocking a road for other users while they offload their little darlings at the greatest of leisure. Or for that matter, of deciding to simply drive straight at me on the wrong side. My time out with Pepsi was sprinkled with exclamations of “laowei!” as newcomers alerted their friends to, shock, horror, a foreigner. I refuse to believe that they cannot have known before arriving that there would be at least a token roundeye here. Kevin had the right idea - he is staying resolutely downtown until at least Monday or possibly Tuesday seeing as he is free on  Mondays until the freshmen do their army stint.

The worst thing is trying to shop on campus. The supermarket is crammed because they are all buying essentials, toiletries, washing bowls, clothes pegs etc.  

Sunday 8th         1900

No trip to town today, in fact I was extremely lazy and did bugger all.

Back to being pleasantly warm again at 28C and no rain.

Aside from the campus still being cluttered with stalls for mobile phones, special offers on bottled water, noodles etc plus billions of students, two things did happen this afternoon when I went out.

This is not one of them but outside the sweet pork place there has for the past four days been an odd looking contraption drilling into the ground at an angle of about twenty degrees from horizontal. I have absolutely no idea what they are doing other than it uses a lot of water and each part of the drill is about six feet long. I am really curious but haven’t seen one of my students down there to ask them for me. Yesterday they had abandoned the drill they had been on and were in a different place, today they were extracting the drill pieces from the second hole - a time consuming process regardless of whether they are going in or out. Quite frustrating for me really, not knowing.

Of the two things that happened though I received a text from (I assume) a young man who graduated from here and is now in the business of constructing fire systems. He wants to attend my classes to improve his English and if I understand correctly will meet me tomorrow evening and treat me to dinner.

The second is far more beneficial. An 18 year old girl (Lucy) who is now a sophomore and therefore must have started here very young because normally they are 19, very occasionally 18 when they are freshmen, came and sat to chat about improving her English - she is studying maths. To cut the story short, methinks I just engaged my new cleaner for my flat. She seemed pleased, she currently works in a clothes shop three days a week and earns 5y (50p) an hour so jumped at the opportunity to earn six times that for between one and two hours a week, working virtually when she wants to. In fact she was over the moon when I mentioned that if she came to clean we could chat and naturally her English would get better far more rapidly than sitting in a classroom. Nice kid and I hope she can actually clean. I have promised her very good money for the first fortnight (100y each week) while she gets the place really clean, it does need a good going over I admit and then after that she should probably be able to be done in an hour a week. Fingers crossed!

Thursday 5th September, 2013            1445

Typical. My day off and my plans to go shopping in shreds, it has been raining all night and all day. I think I have enough smokes to last until after work tomorrow (longer if I hit the snuff!) but I have no meat for the animals, only biscuits. That won’t go down very well I can assure you. I may pop out and get damp in a little while, the fish shop has, I discovered, a little freezer in which they keep fish and chicken.

As for my own needs, well food-wise I can buy something or have something on toast (cheese or beans) but in view of the increasing difficulties of obtaining cigars I have spent over an hour looking online. I think I have found Cuban Fonsecas priced at 28y for a box of 25, which if true - and I will get Joanna to contact the vendor to check - is a flipping bargain. Plus if you buy 5 boxes it’s free delivery and as I won’t want to order every week I will order 25!

Or just maybe this may be my time to try and stop, I have heaps of Himalayan snuff.

Friday 6th          2000

I suspected the cigar price might be wrong - the price was for ONE cigar! That would mean a single box would wipe out my budget for the month, so back to the drawing board, or rather a search downtown of any cigarette stalls I can find! If unsuccessful then it will be time to panic.

It’s been a miserable day here with light rain which turned to drizzle and still hasn’t stopped.

Loads of freshmen have now really started arriving even though they are not supposed to come until tomorrow. Once again the stares, giggles, “hello!” directed at your back before they run off squealing, “may I take a photo with you?” etc are in full swing. This evening I was even insulted in the campus supermarket when two girls walked past me and one said “American” - she was rapidly put right.

I have just emailed my internet shopping list to Joanna. I’m afraid I have gone overboard this month ordering lentils, split peas (Kevin came back with a blender so I will be making soups), Scotch eggs, beef pies etc plus 60kg of cat litter. Admittedly the latter is a lot (and will cost well over 200y) but that should ensure I have enough to last until after the spring festival.

I regret there is not much more to report but this is simply down to the awful weather, meaning I have no desire to go out much.

Oh, nearly forgot. Angela got her results today. She scored 8 in listening, 6.5 in speaking (remember I was asked to get her to that from 5.5 and therefore my success rate in that respect remains at 100%) but she blew it by getting 5.5 in writing and she needs at least 7. I have no idea if she has to resit the entire thing again but I really hope she can retain the two good scores and just retake the writing.

Monday 2st September, 2013        0045

And the first of the Senior Junk Mail series.

Chaos on campus again today with returnees, mattresses and teddy bears hung out to air and cars parked - sorry, abandoned - willy nilly. However Kevin and I took Cinny and Wu her fiance to the western style restaurant as planned.

Unfortunately not only did I forget to take the fluffy cygnet and coaster I bought for her but more importantly my bloody camera. I still don’t have a photo of her.

I had rather built up my expectations for the meal and, as so often happens, my hopes were misplaced. Personally, my first problem was being told they had sold out of pea and ham soup which was the one thing I had set my heart on. Eschewing the leek and potato I opted for Vietnamese spring rolls which to be fair were quite tasty. For a main course I ordered a hamburger - you don’t get them here and you still don’t! Most of it is the real thing but the actual burger bit was a slice of unidentified cold meat. Very disappointing indeed and at Cinny’s prompting I pointed out when we were asked our opinion of the food that it should never be listed as hamburger. I did though offer to bring a recipe for making proper patties for the owner to try (I made them a little while ago) which was well received but whether from courtesy or genuine interest I have no idea. We all had tiramisu for pudding which, whilst not having been soaked in any alcohol previously, was very nice. My next visit will hopefully see the pea & ham soup available and a different main course being ordered. And there will be another time - one of the waitresses was utterly adorable, a pocket Venus who stood about 4’9” and probably weighed six stones. She was so captivating that her smile is enough to draw me back!

2045

First class of the year over, both periods were given over to everyone relating their holiday activities. It was the usual mix of the odd one or two who actually did something by way of travelling elsewhere in China (three went to Beijing, Shanghai and Nanjing), many to their credit took part time jobs in fields as varied as waitressing, supermarkets, clothes shops and even one who tried and hated doing telesales for an insurance company. What really disappointed me were the ones who simply stayed home watching films etc and never got off their backsides to do something interesting. For Pete’s sake they are twenty years old with plenty of energy and they are wasting their lives - they are the ones who will look back in half a century and wonder where their lives went. The sort that worked in the same factory all their time and were proud of the gold watch on retirement. Inertia is a terrible affliction.

It is apparent there are curriculum changes afoot. Today we learnt that 4 year students will now not receive five terms of oral English as before but now only three, the others being given over to speech classes, whatever they are. I have no idea whether we will take them or the Chinese teachers. Additionally Tutu informed me this evening (she has returned for two more years to improve her qualification) that although she took Japanese as her third language option and signed up on that basis two months ago, she now finds there will be no Japanese at all and that she finds herself compelled to take French. Understandably she is annoyed and I sympathise, she was also really looking forward to having oral lessons with me or Kevin but will receive none.

I am unsure what the overall plan of the school is but hopefully it will be revealed over time.