Thursday 24^th October, 2019 2040

I fail to see how the 39 people who died in a lorry in Essex were Chinese.

Why? What on earth were they supposed to be escaping? Uighurs I could understand but other Chinese? It makes no sense whatever.

Well, that's my week over and all classes who have Delia as their Dean have had their little “talk”. There will be no repetition of any mention of not having the chance to practise, at least until the next lot of stupid, naïve freshmen arrive if I have the misfortune to have to teach them. My teaching style, as they term it, has been perfectly ok for nine years and the only way it has evolved has been that it has become slightly less energetic as my body tells me to slow down. I no longer stand for lengthy periods but the lessons are still much the same. And a Dean thirty years my junior telling me different does not exactly, as Clint Eastwood famously said, make my day.

I actually emailed Joanna to enquire as to her health and mentioned this and she replied, quote, “You are the best teacher in the world and they are silly children trying to look good for the Dean”. Heart-warming for me perhaps and patently not true, I am not the best by a long chalk but I hope I am in the top percentage of “interesting” teachers. Tomorrow Dean Delia will be receiving an email from me and now all classes are under no misapprehension that each week I require stories of their daily life since I last saw them. I can't be fairer than that for offering them the chance to practise, can I????

I forgot to say that when shopping on Tuesday, on the way back with my trolley to collect my wine I came across a small boy of about eight who, despite my not understanding the lingo, was being cheeky to his Mum and Grandma. Without pausing my stride, as I passed him I gave him a gentle cuff to the back of the head and carried on. I could envisage the scene behind me with the boy looking around to see who had done it. Seconds later at the wine aisle I received a smack on the arse! It was the boy. Either he had worked it out or Mum or Grandma had grassed me up. I played ball by screaming like a stuck pig just to make the kid's day.

Today on the bus home after what was a long day (Thursday I teach the whole day) the arsehole behind me kept playing music and TV shows on his phone, loudly. I gave hints by glancing back from time to time but to no avail. Eventually I capitulated, turned fully around and asked him if he was enjoying it because nobody else was and didn't he have earphones? He understood my ire but perhaps not the meaning but another passenger, Chinese, patently explained and so suddenly the noise was turned off. The thing is, the Chinese will never complain even though they are pissed off!

So tomorrow I host the Chinese family for dinner. I must remember to take the mince out of the freezer before bedtime – it's so bloody cold now it takes an entire day to thaw out......