Monday 23rd August, 2021 1230

Home

So the final Friday and Saturday nights I sat out. I think the others enjoyed it more without Grumplestiltskin tagging along, certainly they stayed out longer. At the bottom are some photos of their evenings.

Finally it was Sunday morning and time to head home. Nothing was left to chance. I had emailed the travel firm berating them for the fiasco getting me on the plane in Kunming and again stressed wheelchair and no steps. Alice had called China Eastern also to warn them as well.

And off we set, dropping her off near a subway station to get her train home. We arrived at Hongqiao in good time and by then our negative covid results were in. Wheelchair to plane they said but Lanzhou would be a tarmac disembarkation. They were working on arranging a hoist.

Then it was up, up and away, headed toward the Gansu deserts. Confident that all was in place for my arrival, I was not concerned when they told me I would be last off. Everyone else departed and a load of blokes in hazmat suits got on, bringing with them a small wheelchair. I hadn't heard the hoist in action - or seen it for that matter. During the flight I had considered trying to go down either backwards or on my arse maybe.

I qot in the wheelchair, no seatbelt and flimsy arms, and they wheeled me to the front. I asked the hostess when the hoist was coming?

No hoist.
Well how am I getting off? She nodded towards the half a dozen - admittedly strapping - lads.

Well how are they going to do it? She just smiled. I looked behind me at the mobile boarding/disembarkation stairs and they looked 100ft tall.

They're not going to carry me down are they???? She nodded.

What???? Fuck! I weigh 82kg/180lbs!

I looked at her and said now I really am frightened.

They then turned me facing forward! Nothing whatsoever to keep me in the chair, picked me up and then commenced three minutes of the most terrifying, sphincter-loosening experiences you can imagine. Someone would drop me, another would shout STOP! and a couple of times I was almost pitched out and down onto the parking apron.

It was only when they set me down and started wheeling me to my transport to the terminal that I noticed the bus was full of passengers from our flight - who had all just witnessed the spectacle. For once I was glad of a mask.

The bus never went to the terminal but some other building where I was left outside for ages while my paperwork was done. Eventually an ambulance came to take me to Jody. An ambulance with no tail-lift. And a 3ft lift for the boys. I collapsed in our taxi, thankful to be alive and going home.

I had nightmares last night.