Sunday 17^th March, 2019 1630

I had rather hoped, after Friday's delightful revelations, to enjoy a touch of good luck last night. Instead I watched ITV with ever-increasing disbelief as what at half time was a guaranteed thousand yuan profit evaporated inexorably, England surrendering a 31 point lead so that not only did I not profit but every minute of the second half saw 25 yuan of my own money evaporating down the plughole that the players richly deserve to follow!

Am I looking forward to tomorrow? Of course not. More, it must be said, because I may not be overjoyed at the answers. I suppose were I religious, tonight I would kneel by my bed and entreat Him Upstairs to be kind but if he can do that to a Twickenham crowd of tens of thousands then I reckon he would just take the pee out of me!

It is only natural in this age to have searched online for possible clues as to the future and of course I have. However, rather than locate every dire pronouncement I have restricted myself to looking into the procedure itself. The medical fraternity have at times done some particularly unpleasant things to my person and that's to be expected. They can do their worst.

What is on my mind though are two things: firstly I'm only supposed to have a modicum of water with which to take my daily medicines and secondly my gagging reflex. Seeing as I do not expect to be donating any blood I may just substitute the water for a small shot of jing jo (well, they do call it medicine wine!) and it seems there are options for the second worry. Put to sleep? Rather extreme and will be declined. Sedative? Preferably not, as a reward for Alice taking the morning off lessons I will owe her lunch at the very least and want to take her for one. The third, which I hope is on offer here, is anaesthetic spray for the throat. I suppose once the Nord Stream Russian pipeline is in, I will be fine. I still say I would be happy with weekly or monthly visits to have those wonderful drips which proved so effective! My optimism is unbounded.......for now.

Soon though I need to turn to more mundane matters, such as dishwashing (haven't done any for a week!) and preparing food. I was thinking of fish fingers, mash and peas with a parsley sauce but that's too much trouble when you can't get packet sauce. I think instead I will have some soft-boiled eggs with a crusty roll and lashings of salt and pepper. Not ideal for constipation but as I have swallowed enough Clear-Drains over the past few weeks I reckon there's plenty of space left!

Tune in tomorrow to read the next exciting instalment!