Monday 7th January, 2012         1500

The Bolognese went down a treat with her, she managed to put away two portions. I on the other hand could only handle a child’s serving, which I forced myself to eat simply because I had eaten nothing all day. There is plenty left so I will tuck in again tonight, my stomach having improved after a better night’s sleep.

Her father and uncle came to collect her at noon but parked up near the basketball court, so I took her on the bike and met Dad - who had arrived in police uniform. I am sure the passing students thought I was being arrested! She has promised to return next weekend to stay and possibly also to keep me company when the campus is dead during the holidays, although of course she will spend the important days with her family.

I am at a loss as to how all this came about, for previously the only interaction we had was confined to “hello” or “bye” except for her graduation day when she spotted me and asked if she could have a photo with me in her gown and mortar board. She left and I never expected any further contact. Over the months I have received the odd text but until Saturday, nothing of note. Still, it makes a surprisingly refreshing change.

2230

Well, I’m not sure quite what to make of the latest development. Her parents want me to visit their home. For the uninitiated (and as Kevin was rather swift to point out even though I already knew) this in China is normally step one on the path to marriage! I will go of course, probably next week while I can still get Kevin to animal sit  before he flies back to Blighty.

I know they say there’s no fool like an old fool but I assure everyone I am anything but - been there, done that. However, I do find myself wishing it was Saturday already and feeling like an extremely mature twenty-something which rather unnerves me in a way that I can’t quite describe. It sounds ridiculous to say this I know but I really haven’t experienced this since I WAS twenty something! For many years now I have railed against the injustice of life for only giving me the wisdom to know what to do in respect of women when the opportunities had all but vanished! I think it would be far better to have the wisdom in youth (as another saying goes, youth is wasted on the young) and slowly grow more stupid! Mind you, some people do……

On another front, Kiki is utterly convinced she has failed her post-graduate exam. As her surrogate father, mine was the preferred shoulder to lean on. We had a chat at lunchtime after Anita left and her plan then had been to go to Beijing - with no plan. She really wants to be a teacher of Chinese history (Lord only knows why) and is envisaging a bleak future. Apparently she can retake the entrance exam every year until she attains the age of forty, so if she really has the dream then all she needs to do is maintain herself by working for a year or as many as it takes to pass. Her father is either in France or Australia and is contributing nothing, her mother only scrapes by, so I made what I thought was a good suggestion.

I can, by virtue of a simple email, procure her a front of house job at the Hilton Hefei. Not megabucks but free food and board and she can study in her free time as well as save money - her own money. She left me feeling very happy and at my insistence - she insisted that was what she wanted to do and I had made her so happy when last night she was so despondent - I told her to see what her mother thought because I was not about to pull a favour only to be left looking stupid. I did not want relatives putting the kibosh on it.

Mum thought it was crap. Mum of course doesn’t have a better plan other than that Kiki lives with her and studies for a year but no mention of financial assistance, so it would mean being a checkout girl or similar instead of possibly (who knows?) the start of a job she loves and a successful alternative career. Exasperated, I have told her that when she goes to bed she should have a long, hard think about who should decide the rest of her life - mum or her.

It saddens me beyond compare when I see young adults here who have been told by their parents they must become teachers, interpreters or whatever because Daddy/Mummy knows best. I can’t be too vocal on the issue for obvious reasons, but I do my best to point out that this doesn’t normally happen in the west, that parents have had their lives and should not attempt to re-live theirs vicariously through their offspring. Sure, the parents are paying for the education, but I find it incomprehensible that they fail to grasp someone will do far better studying a subject they love than in one they hate. All of us had favourite and disliked subjects at school and I would venture that the marks obtained usually reflected the level of interest and commitment.

Ok, rant over and please forgive the rather youthful timbre to this post. It may all come to nought but that would definitely not be a first for me! Here are some better pictures of her which she emailed me tonight after she got home.