Monday 18th February, 2013          2030

I swear the meteorologists employed for this neck of the woods are residents of Tierra Del Fuego or somewhere equally as remote from China. For bright, dry and sunny read cold and piddling with rain all day. Not Chinese rain either, which in this particular corner of the Middle Kingdom seldom differs from chucking it down in straight lines. Nope, today was blustery and with English volumes.

I sat and pondered for hours over what to do. Should I just go to the local shop, come back and make my own dinner? Or should I assume it would get better and head to town? In the end I decided to make a break for it at 1730. Such fun - oh how we laughed!

Of course there was little point in the trip if I didn’t at least buy pet food so I did and then treated myself to a Korean dinner. I felt obliged to go there because the last time I went I asked where the manageress’ wedding ring was - remember she said she was getting married in the spring festival? She never wore it at that time but made a point of telling me next time especially for me she would have it.

So of course the first thing I did when entering was to show my left hand and imitate placing a ring on the second smallest finger. Cue embarrassment. More importantly, cue the most English I have ever heard her speak in 30 months of going there. Anyway the meal was nice - pork spicy skewers followed by a platter. I hadn’t a clue what I ordered even from the picture but it turned out to be egg & seaweed soup, kimchi, fried peanuts (how are normal people supposed to eat those with chopsticks without expending more calories in the effort than they gain?), some sort of dipping sauce, fresh lettuce and sizzling pork and garlic. Very nice it was too.

Shortly before I finished I had to go to the loo because it was going to be at least 45 minutes before I got home. My manageress friend had disappeared out the back leaving a new hand on reception. The place doesn’t have toilets so I sneak into the supermarket staff ones down the mall. I couldn’t resist waving gaily to the new girl as I left minus my coat and shopping and saying “bye bye”! The look of utter confusion, uncertainty and horror on her face made it well worth my while. I suppose I could simply have carried on going and left her to run in panic to the boss who would have told her not to fret, but even I am not that heartless. In fact her relief was so palpable it cheered me up no end. A few minutes later when I went to pay my bill she couldn’t figure out which was mine. I sure as hell couldn’t because they were all in Chinese, so she had to get the guv’nor. From the total I think my beer prices have dropped from 6y to 5y a bottle there - either that or someone can’t add up.

But I think I was accorded a singular honour. From memory it has only happened once before and I think it was Tina (Hi Tina, hope you and family are doing well). I was given wedding candy. Sure, it is like Woollies pick’n’mix and you can buy it yourself quite easily but presumably it is symbolic, much as our wedding cake is. I didn’t see her handing any to other customers. Made me feel all warm inside.

Just as well, for despite my hoping that perhaps the rain had stopped while I was in the mall, on emerging only one word could describe what greeted me - vile. The rain was worse, only now it was combined with a force 7 gale. All that was required now just to thoroughly hack me off was to get caught out by the buses not yet running this late again. The omens were not good, no buses in sight going either way and nobody else at the bus stop. This time though Lady Luck smiled and within two minutes I saw one coming my way. I had had visions of having to take a taxi and to be honest in this weather I would have got the driver to take me all the way home and abandoned my bike to be collected tomorrow, it really was that foul a night.

The bus driver was the lady I have mentioned before, Mrs Slowbutsafe, so on this occasion I was particularly glad to see her. But as before, I popped my 2y into the slot before twigging it was a 1y bus! Why in hell’s name she hasn’t been given a spanking new one is beyond me, she has to be the least likely driver in their fleet to scratch one!

Riding home from south gate I didn’t keep particularly dry. Sidewinds have a tendency to unpeel the cape so as to allow better ingress of water into your clothes. Couple that with small and evil hailstones and I am sure you can envisage how thankful I was to get indoors, take my soaked trainers off and stick the shoe heaters inside them. Knowing my luck it will be nice tomorrow now I have no need to go out. Maybe I will finally cook that stew.