Saturday 13th April, 2013           1840

And what a lovely day it was too - high of 26C but I have obviously become acclimatised because aside from the two hours I went out late afternoon with Pepsi, I had my jacket on!

I went to town again to get my medicines and then took a ride to the commercial centre supermarket for a nose around. They had bacon so I snaffled some of that but when I went to get something for the animal dinner tonight I nearly fell over - they had beef! I haven’t a clue what cut it is because it looks like nothing I have ever seen in a butchers but I bought a lump weighing a kilogramme which will be cubed and turned into a stew. It looks far too good to mince!

Sunday 14th                           2115

If I was tired before, now I am utterly drained!

You will recall Joanna asked me to go to a school a boy student of mine (Tomorrow - yes, that’s his English name, his Chinese one means that) teaches at. I duly rode to the train station, met Joanna just before 1330 and we went to the school which was about half a mile away. On arrival I was greeted by two rows of students forming a tunnel into the building and as I approached they all clapped loudly as I walked through. I must say I wasn’t expecting anything quite so effusive.

In the little school (no more than 70 pupils and about half that number present today) I was taken to the headmaster’s office and plied with beer and cigars. In fact I was showered with both all day! Late last night Joanna, in response to my enquiry as to precisely what we were going to do, gaily informed me we were to climb Qi Shan mountain! I nearly had a fit. I am too old, fat and unfit to climb bloody mountains now and anyway smoking has taken its toll - just when I climb the stairs to my flat in the mornings after taking Pepsi for a wee lately I have found myself seriously out of breath. And yes, I do need to cut down on the cigars.

Anyway, I would do anything for her, so there I was. She and the owner disappeared - I found out later they had gone to book a restaurant for dinner and she had to go to help order dishes she thought I would like - and so to kill time I went out of the office and engaged them in my picture game using the blackboard. It was a little problematic because many of the kids can’t speak any English at all but were there simply out of excitement at seeing a laowei for the first time. Sadly, in a few years when they build the new complex after our airport opens and if this place becomes a tourist destination there may be ample opportunities to see westerners.

After a while we went to the mountain. Little did I know that I used to pass it regularly en route to and from the city - it was no more than 100 yards from the entrance that I nearly met my demise on St George’s Day 2011! Now it is not a big mountain by any stretch of the imagination, if truth be told it is probably technically a very big hill. To me it was Everest. Everyone else ascended the precipitous steps like gazelles and mountain goats but the old fart in the mix had to stop for a rest and take it in three stages. Christ, if my legs still work in the morning I will be amazed.

Once up there of course the view was lovely as you can see from the pictures. It was 30C today but with a strong breeze to keep everyone cool. I rested with a can and a smoke and one of the “teachers” who is in fact still a student himself suggested to Joanna that I take a sachet of Chinese traditional medicine because my face was red. For a start my face is always red and more, it becomes redder after exertion and exposure to the sun and anyway I take alpha-blockers for that. Undeterred the chap sprinkled the powder into my beer can when I was looking the other way. If he thought I wouldn’t notice then he was very wrong - it was disgusting.

They wanted me to play games with the kids. That’s fine in a classroom with a board, but a load of primary school children on an outing? After much cajoling I ended up with eight girls (the boys were too busy trying to kill each other) and I engaged them in a few activities but it was a waste of time of course. Notwithstanding, I still enjoyed myself once I knew the only way was down! And Joanna looked lovely in blue today  - not a colour I think I have seen her wearing before. During the proceedings Qing called me after she completed all her IELTS exams in Hefei. To both my surprise and delight, having had a call this morning about how nervous she was about the oral test (I told her again to speak slowly and clearly to give herself time to think), she was rather upbeat. She has no idea if she will pass or fail but that is an awful lot better than coming out and saying no chance, I blew it. So I have my fingers crossed for her - the oral should have been ok because she was given a topic I rehearsed with her only a few days ago.

Eventually it was time to leave and for me to receive payment - dinner. Again I astounded people by knowing how to play the landlord and farmer card game so I was included in the pre-prandial activities. Dinner itself was hugely enjoyable, Joanna had ordered sweet pork along with spicy battered prawns so I never had to eat anything else such as fish or tofu stew even though I tried a bit of everything - egg and chives, cabbage and mushroom etc. what did become apparent after a short time was that they wanted to see whether I could really drink. They do cheat because they gang up on me and I have played the game on many occasions - ten of them drinking one glass to my ten but of course Chinese beer is marginally stronger than English breakfast tea.

When the time came to depart - I would have loved to have stayed but Pepsi had been confined for 8 hours by then (and bless her she held on) - having done their damnedest to get me drunk they then became overly protective. They would pay for a taxi and Tomorrow would ride my bike back. Uh, no, I need it first thing tomorrow because if my legs feel the way I think they will then there is no way I will want to walk all the way from home to class! I was then implored to send a text when I was safe, which I did fifteen minutes later.

Notwithstanding the gruelling climb, laced beer and naughty kids it was actually quite a nice day. Now they want me to perform in a classroom for them but that will have to wait for at least a month due to other commitments.